Coming from a career in the military, law enforcement and police dispatch, Ken Yuers found his true calling as a teacher for at-risk youth, and eventually landed a job at Rancho Tehama elementary, when one day in 2017, gunshots outside the classro
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After losing her daughter to a freak accident, Sissy Feitelberg focuses on supporting her grandson Gage who lives in Rancho Tehama with his widowed father, Danny, but when a shooting spree begins, a deeper horror falls on the family and leaves Sis
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After navigating a hardscrabble, working-class life, Troy MacFayden finally settles down with his wife in rural California, when one day driving down the road, they are aggressively T-boned by a stranger, and suddenly find themselves in the middle
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Having grown up in a safe, sheltered home, a woman balances her career, marriage and five children, but one morning, when her husband is traveling on a two-month tour of duty, a man enters her home and a nightmare begins that lasts well beyond the
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For more than three and a half decades, the disappearance of 12-year-old Jonelle Matthews was a mystery – a riddle neither authorities nor her family members could solve. The residents of her cloistered Colorado hometown had scoured every inch of
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Born to an affluent Mormon family, a boy befriends a rotating set of nannies that help raise him and become part of the family unit, but his favorite nanny starts playing games that reveal darker intentions.Producers:&n
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While in the depths of a toxic relationship, a woman begins experiencing a magical, unseen world around her, but on a layover on a flight through LA, the world becomes all too real.Today's episode featured Kimberly Rose. If you
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Sheree Warren left her job in Salt Lake City on a mild October evening in 1985. She told a coworker she was headed to meet her estranged husband, Charles Warren, at a car dealership. But she never made it, Sheree vanished. When her car mysteriousl
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Reeling from the early loss of his father and abuse in the family, a man finds an outlet through cars and becomes a repo agent, but on a routine job one night, he faces a life-altering danger that will change him forever.Today’
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A woman struggles to break free from the rules of her strict and sheltered upbringing, but after battling a derealization disorder and finding a new life for herself, she faces a danger she could never have imagined.
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Sergeant Jill Evans is a small town cop in Wales with an impressive record in her job, and a less than impressive record in her love life. After three engagements, two divorces and one affair, she’s beginning to worry that love is only true in fai
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A woman grows up in a loving Libyan family in California, but after recession hits and her dad falls on hard economic times, a darkness enters the family that destroys everything.Today's episode featured Nour Naas.
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While hunting in the Canadian wilderness, a man accidentally comes between a grizzly bear cub and its mother and a terrifying a fight for his life ensues that will change him forever.Today's episode featured Jeremy Evans. You c
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Hosted by Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart from the hit show Morbid.When 90-year-old Laurence Pilgeram drops dead on the sidewalk outside his condo, you might think that’s the end of his story. But, really, it’s just the beginning. Because La
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A woman learns shocking truths about what happened to her mom when she was young, while caretaking her mentally ill father and grappling with revelations that haunt the family forever.Producer:Listen/Read More
After a chaotic upbringing ending with her parents’ divorce, a woman falls into the hands of a man whose promises are too good to be true.Today's guest requested to remain anonymous, but if you'd like to reach out to her, you c
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A Seattle-based celebrity photographer and hairstylist accused of criminal abuse is the focus of the latest season of top-rated Iris Award-Winning true-crime podcast Something Was Wrong from Tiffany Reese.Season 14 of Something Was Wrong fe
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After devoting his life to a singular passion, a man develops a rare condition that threatens to crush his dreams forever.Today’s episode featured Stefan Weiner. As a musician, he goes by Stefan Alexander and you can hear more
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A teenage Russian immigrant in Iran is jailed and tortured during the Iranian Revolution of 1979, but when a prison guard falls in love with her, she’s forced to weigh the price of her freedom.Today's episode featured Marina Ne
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A man searches to find love for himself and his family after facing the dark consequences of being disfellowshipped by the Jehovah’s Witness.This episode is part of our 2022 holiday rebroadcast series. Originally airing on Nove
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While pregnant and navigating a rocky relationship, a woman coming home from a local fair stops for a soda one night and suddenly faces the brutal terror of a notorious serial killer.Today's episodefeatured Jane Boroski.
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After suffering the horrific abuses of his Southern grandmother, father and mother, a teenage boy discovers his own queer identity through a fantasy world, but when it becomes all too real, everything he believes is called into question.
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After leaving the Jehovah’s Witness faith of her childhood, a woman redefines her life with her husband and child and becomes a loving foster parent for many, but as one of her foster children comes of age, the chaos threatens to unravel the entir
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Nothing is as terrifying as the sounds we hear in the dark.The slow creak of a door opening late at night... or a whisper in a room when you thought you were alone... or a distant scream in the wind. One noise atthe wrong time or place
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After losing her father at a young age, a woman begins apprenticing as a funeral director, but when tragedy strikes again, the loss takes an exponential toll.Today’s episode featured Kelsie. You can find out m
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A man growing up in the closet joins the military under “don’t ask, don’t tell” and numbs his identity with alcohol, but after becoming a nurse and after COVID wreaks havoc, his downward spiral hits a new rock bottom that will decide his life or d
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Sheree Warren left her job in Salt Lake City on a mild October evening in 1985. She told a coworker she was headed to meet her estranged husband, Charles Warren, at a car dealership. But she never made it, Sheree vanished.When a young mothe
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A woman grows up in a home chronically terrified by her father’s abuse, but when her parents split and he starts another family, she learns of the true, horrifying danger she was in her entire life.Today's episode featured Lisa
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The Vanished is a true crime podcast that explores the stories of those who have gone missing. The Vanished goes beyond conventional news reports to take a deep dive into the story of a different missing person each week.Host Marissa Jones
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As a teenager struggling with severe depression and anxiety, a woman finds dance as her only outlet, but on a night that is lost to memory, a horrific accident transforms her body, her brain and her identity.Today's episode fea
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A man tries to put the pieces of his life back together after growing up with a mother who suffered from severe OCD and anorexia.Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to reach out to him directly you ca
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A woman diagnosed with bipolar disorder experiences a roller coaster of destroyed relationships and mental storm, but after stabilizing through therapy and medication her mentally compromised mother makes an accusation that cannot be revoked.<
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The Generation Why Podcast released its first episode in 2012 and pioneered the true crime genre in the podcasting world. Two friends, Aaron Justin, break down theories and give their opinions on unsolved murders, controversies, mysteries an
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Growing up Black and queer in the South, a man finds an identity for himself through the arts and establishes a wonderful marriage with children, until one day, when his husband is late coming home, there’s a ring at the door and his entire life u
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Coming from a charmed, conservative, Catholic upbringing, a woman must confront her deepest beliefs as she struggles with the reality and implications of the most devastating news a mother can receive.Content/Trigger Wa
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Welcome to the Hellmouth Weirdos! Your favorite Morbid hosts Ash and Alaina are branching out from true crime and heading to Sunnydale for the ultimate Buffy the Vampire Slayer Rewatch podcast! Alaina is a Buffy superfan and Ash has never watched
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After surviving a chaotic and abusive upbringing, a woman develops an undiagnosable autoimmune disorder that threatens to take her vision and her livelihood, but when a friend brings a blow-up doll to play a practical joke one night, everything ch
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Bill Mitchell built a successful career, marriage and family, but just as his bright and loving daughter graduates from college with big dreams, an unthinkable event irreversibly changes everything.Today’s episode feature
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Always feeling she had failed the ideals of her strict Muslim, South Asian family and community, a woman struggles to navigate trauma, shame and self-expression, when unexpected news forces her into a powerful reckoning.Today‘s
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A woman struggling to find herself finally discovers a place where she belongs and forms a deep friendship, but when she experiments with a powerful psychedelic the experience reveals more than she bargained for.Today's episode
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A man struggles to free himself from his father’s iron grip on the family, but when an unsettling truth about his past is revealed, his entire life comes into focus.Today's storyteller was originally featured on the incredible
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After a woman’s Mormon family falls apart following the death of her father, her mother brings her to a Scientology Center where she leaves everything behind.Today’s episode featured Katherine Mcelhinny. If you’d like to reach
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After growing up queer with a complicated father in the 1960s, a man forges his own path, identity and career in the arts, but suddenly, after a routine surgery, he wakes up unable to move..Today’s episode featured John Killack
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A woman falls deeply in love with a married man in her close friend’s circle, when suddenly an unthinkable event throws everything into question...“Of all the cruel things for the universe to do…Why? Why on e
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“I don’t know what I was thinking but I just kept feeling like the waves of shame because of the shame I made them feel.”Today’s episode featured Kiese Laymon. You can find out more about him and his books at kieselaymon.com.Listen/Read More
“It’s like trying to go into like a dark cave with a rope attached to you so that you can find your way back and then losing that the end of the rope.”Producer:Whit MissildineE
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“I completely lost touch with reality. You can’t rely on those around you, and you can’t rely on what’s within you. That’s the most terrifying thing in the world.”Producer:Whit Missildine
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“My personhood had been shattered into a thousand pieces that I and my family were left to pick up one at a time.”Today's episode features Olivia Wilder. You can find out more about Olivia on Instagram @all.in.amputee&nb
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"Those weird moments of tension...that moment of uncertainty but impending doom...I don't think anything really ever matched that."Today’s episode featured Dick Wound. You can find Dick's Podcast "Off the Cuffs: A Kink and BDSM
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“If there was a note…or just anything that would give us a single clue about it…but ultimately I don’t know like I’m never going to know why.”Today's episode features Mercedes. If you’d like to reach out to her
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“These are open ended wounds that you have to patch up, but how do you patch them up? How do you make it okay.”Today’s episode featured Diamond Garrett. Diamond is currenting starting a small business to provide products, servi
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“Living in a constant state of anxiety does something to you…I’m not able to live, I’m not able to love, I’m not able to thrive.”Today's guest requested to remain anonymous, however, if you'd like to reach to him, you can email
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“You were in this abyss of darkness and the hardest part was not knowing…not knowing at all if you’re going to live or die or when or how.”Today's episode featured Marina Nemat. You can find out more about Marina and her story
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“We had such a sense of safety and comfort and then…it was like everything changes and you can’t go back.”Today's guestrequested to remain anonymous. But if you'd like to reach out to her, you can email atListen/Read More
“When there’s some trauma, you have a poison within you….If you leave it there it’s going to ferment and take over your life and your body….You need to take this out by speaking it.”Today's episode featured Sonia Acevedo. If yo
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“A family tree is not permanent…You’re allowed to trim some branches.”Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous. But if you’d like to reach out to her, you can email at thisisactuallyhappening235@gmail.com
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“To feel like at any moment something tragic could happen put me in a deep, deep cloud as far as who I am, what can I be, and what could I have been.”Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous. But if you’d like to reach out t
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“It honestly felt like my whole life had just gone from this amazing color filled motion picture to just going into something so black and white…just feeling so alone all of the time.”Today’s episode featured Evelyn. You can re
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“The feeling of unknowing while you’re going through that is probably the strongest, most terrifying feeling I’ve ever felt.”Today’s episode featured Matt Boman. You can find out more about Matt on Instagram Listen/Read More
“I was just terrified, just the not knowing what was happening or what was even going on in my own body…and I was so confused and hurt and scared.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Sara MarinelliListen/Read More
“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.”Today's episode featuredNeil Woods. You
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“I felt like I went through a portal into this evil place…and I immediately knew that we were in a whole different world.”Today’s storyteller requested to remain anonymous. However, if you’d like to contact her, you can reach o
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“Because so much of my life when I’d seen things happening I’d been told that it wasn’t really happening, I think my brain kind of formed to think that reality was not real.”Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous, but if y
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“What it felt like was - I am absolutely here, but this is not happening to us…This is not happening at all.”Today’s episode featured John W. Evans. John is the author of three award-winning books. His poems and essays appear i
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“I would look in the mirror and my eyes wouldn’t focus because it was like my brain wasn’t registering that that was me…I literally saw a stranger in the mirror.”Today's episode featured Grace Hartman. You can find out more abo
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“People who are grieving a serious loss, and you’re staring into the abyss, they understand intimately the loss that we are all going to face, what we all will see.”Today's episode featured Frank Vaughan. If you'd like to reach
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“I didn’t get a chance to know who I was or who I should have become, and I will never know that person.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: After
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“Now I know that half of me it’s a lie where does that leave me who am I who is this person it’s like you entirely lose your identity and I feel like I almost have to start again to figure out who I am because I lost it.”
“If life is so fragile, death can come to you anytime any day in any place.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: A man who always felt like he didn’
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“All that stuff I went through, the abuse, the physical, verbal, everything was not rock bottom for me….Me realizing that I was being abusive to people I loved, that was my rock bottom.”Producers:Whit Mis
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“I just thought this is not happening, like how could this be happening? This isn’t supposed to happen…I felt like it was my fault.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpis
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“It’s never given that you’re going to be here tomorrow or in the next hour. You’ve got to respect that and you’ve got to live your life accordingly.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock<
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“Is this really happening? Like, is this really my reality? I’m questioning myself as to whether or not I was crazy and had I really seen what I just saw.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits&nb
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“We are not necessarily who we think we are…There are more paradoxes in life than things that make sense.”Today’s episode featured Kim. You can find out more about her and her writings at her Myth and Medicine blog on Patreon:
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“What I feared the most was that these episodes would continue to increase until that’s the world I was living in, in this other nonsensical world completely detached from reality.”Today’s episode featured Steve Kissing. You ca
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"It was absolutely like a nightmare. At the same time you're realizing you're never going to wake up from this nightmare because this is real life."Producers:Whit MissildineEpi
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“The first thing that I felt was invaded, like I physically wanted out of my skin. I didn’t know who the other half of me was….My whole body was crawling and I just wanted out.”Today’s episode is part of our 2021 holiday rebroa
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“Time stopped while my brain was trying to catch up, and I was horrified I was confused I was bewildered I was panicked…just a wave of all of that came over me.”Today’s episode featured Kate Solberg. You can find out more about
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“I was like a walking dead. I was just a shell, but I couldn’t stop…my soul was gone.”Producer:Whit MissildineGuest: Kenneth Ginlack Sr.Episode Summary:
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“My life is so much more fragile than I thought it was, and my existence goes beyond this tiny little place that I live in.”Today’s episode featured Jenna. You can find out more about her on Instagram @jennajacqueline.&n
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“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.”Today’s episode featured Hayley Ross. If you’d like to reach out to Hayley you can contact her at kattannie@yaho
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“I had no reference point of how to live or behave or anything….It was like this cocoon had been just ripped away from me, and I didn’t know what my beliefs really were.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason B
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“I honestly think that if the mom I grew up with hadn’t given me such a great sense of self-esteem, I don’t think I would have lasted as long under this current strange mother that I was now stuck with.”Today’s episode featured
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“I kept thinking there’s no way that God is going to let this happen to me…What could I have done in my life to deserve what’s going on right now.”Today’s episode features Jessie Bains. If you’d like to contact her, you can rea
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“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.”Today’s episode featured Miles. You can reach out to Miles by emailing him at
“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.”Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find more about her onInstagram @littleredmeli or on Medium, https://medium.com/
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“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”Producers:Whit Missildine
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Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow, and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons<
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“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode
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“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On Sep
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“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A Port Authori
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“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode
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“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits
“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Growing up in th
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“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’”Producers:Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary:
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“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A wo
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“That’s me, and I’m dead. But if that’s me, then who am I?”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After surviving a brutal upbringing in the South Bronx, a man find
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"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through."Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Sum
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"The hardest part is that I still don't have any answers...what came into my house that night?"Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A musician is
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“It’s almost as if like I could feel my whole self just changing at this point and just changing in the way that I trust people…and questioning myself and everything.”Producer:Whit Missil
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“It’s almost like you can’t stand the meaninglessness of the situation, and so you justify it by saying ‘well this must be all my fault.'”Producer:Whit Missildine
“All of a sudden within a hundred meters of your house that’s where the worst thing happens and suddenly the world becomes different…you can’t go back to who you were.”Producer:Whit Missi
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“It was just full chills over my body, tears in my eyes, it was that moment of I don’t know, I don’t understand, I don’t know.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary:Listen/Read More
“The not knowing is awful, and it’s awful from day one and it’s awful thirty years later, but every day that goes by you get more and more in reality.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock
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“It planted a seed in my mind that has never ever gone away even now that people might not be who they say they are.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary:Listen/Read More
“I felt like I was sort of drifting along as something besides human, like I had stepped onto another planet inside my head.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary:
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“You are in absolute darkness, and until you are in that kind of situation it’s hard to understand what darkness is.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A lifelo
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“The person who was pulling was just stronger than the person who wanted a perfect life.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: Growing up with a clos
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“I was really lost and I was so incredibly desperate for someone to love me…and to fill the void that had kind of been opened in me .”Producers:Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpiso
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“That feeling that you get when you find out an important piece of information, that ‘aha moment’ was happening constantly. I felt as if somebody put my brain into a microwave.”Producers:Whit Missildine,
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“I was just left fighting this invisible thing inside me, the root of which I didn’t know.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman grows up with an idyllic c
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“In horror movies there’s this beautiful moment for the protagonist where the monster’s real, everyone can see it…but a lot of times in real life, there isn’t a neatly wrapped up ending.”Producers:W
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“I cannot get over the fact that this actually happened. It felt strangely prophetic.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: Growing up with an unreli
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“I was forced into being vulnerable, I was forced into being present, I was forced into existing suddenly with my lights turned on.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Sara MarinelliEpi
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“No matter how hard you fight against having no change in your life, it’s going to come anyway.”Producers:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Growing up in an environment
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“If you could imagine having thoughts that frightened you, then other times they made you believe things about your perception or what you were seeing weren’t real or distorted…you would do anything to stop it.”Producer
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“I close my eyes even to this day reliving it over and over in my head like, ‘Did that really happen?’ I wasn’t for sure that it was really real.”Producer:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits
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“I just kept saying ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t know, it’s all my fault. I can’t believe I just did that,’… I’m in disbelief.”Producer:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisod
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“Time just did not exist, the only thing that existed was decisions.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A young woman’s first trip to reconnect w
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“I saw myself in the mirror, and it was like seeing a CGI character…I’m sitting here looking at this frail person that looks nothing like me.”Producer:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits
“Will I ever be able to be one of them ever again, or am I just like an alien now?”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman finally escapes the trauma of her m
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“I felt like my brain was in Saran Wrap…you’re just not all there.”Producer:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: Having adapted to the challenges of growing u
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“I was asleep. Everything I was going through was not real, and it’s just this very convincing feeling that you’re right about this”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman
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“They were there to remind me who I was in the world, and it hurt too much on the inside, being hurt on the outside didn’t matter as much.”Producer:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits
“The hardest part about the whole thing is just not knowing; for a few hours that night I wasn’t me and that’s terrifying.”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A w
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“You just think this is a nightmare, and then you realize nope this is my life, this is real.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: A mother faces th
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“I just didn't feel like a person, I didn't feel like I was a being walking on this planet a lot of the time."Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman fights f
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“This might be the beginning of my last few minutes on the planet.”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: An American working in Tokyo ends up in the crosshairs of a
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“I did have a hard time ever really feeling safe anywhere, and the problem was just that inside of me it wasn’t safe so it didn’t matter where I was.”Producers:Whit MissildineE
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“Looking down the barrel of a gun is devastating….Although I was a kid it was very clear that there was lots of hate, and I was kind of frozen.”Producers:Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits<
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“It felt like the earth had stopped rotating like I was trapped in this moment of just complete all-encompassing fear.”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A young
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“I would do everything I could that had to happen to engage with this object that I needed to do and then I would bury it….And I had to realize at a certain point that it was just not going to work.”Producers:Listen/Read More
“It’s like you’ve lost yourself completely, and you’re basically left in a million different pieces.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman self-medicating for an
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“Once I was able to be in control of what I decide is disgusting instead of having that placed on me, that’s what helped me become friends with the feeling.”Producer: Whit Missildine , Andrew Waits
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“The mind almost has to find a way to prove that it’s not real. This cannot be happening.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After visiting a psychiatrist for mild an
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“In these spaces I, as a vulnerable person, am suddenly given the gift of somebody else’s vulnerability.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Growing up blind and isola
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“It’s truly such an indescribable feeling…kind of like the walls are closing in on you, like reality is just collapsing.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After a te
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The uncanny, extraordinary, true stories of events that have dramatically altered the lives of ordinary people; a son is shot by his own father, a woman's sister develops multiple personalities, a man wakes up in the morgue. These are riveting, mo
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“Any sense of identity no matter how fake was better than no sense of identity, yet if I don’t have a sense of identity, then who am I as a person?”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode S
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“I didn’t know what normal was, so everything looked so scary….Everything I was doing I was learning for the time it was like my birth into the world.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisod
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“That feeling…honestly I will never forget it, just your heart dropping into your stomach…it’s unreal.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After growing up in an abusi
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Today we launch a new series of bonus content called “Happenings” with three stories of people facing their deepest fears in the unforgiving wilderness of the natural world.Part 1: What if the desert dried your
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“Right in the center of your body there’s this lead heavy ball, and inside of it is an immediate understanding of evil.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman wal
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“I could live with the nightmares. I could live with the panic attacks. But the thing that was tearing me apart was questioning if everything I know in my life was real at all.”Producer: Whit Missildine<
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“You try to take off your skin to try to get rid of this voice, and it goes all the way down to the bone.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A man suffering the deep
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"All of the ways we define ourselves are going to be stripped away by illness or the dying process...now who am I?"Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After 30 years r
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**This rebroadcast episode originally aired in April, 2017**“It’s in these places that you begin to see the limits of human capacity – how resilient we are...how we will find a way.”Producer: Whit Missil
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“The idea that they had plucked me from this terrible life…and it was all going to be sunflowers and rainbows and shit…I just view that as a fantasy.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode
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“I had to go through having taken everything away from me to come to the conclusion that … you’ll come back a person that’s wiser and a more full, satisfied human.”Producer: Whit Missildine<
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“When somebody hurts you and then they’re like, ‘now you have to take care of him, you’re responsible for him…’ I didn’t know how to feel.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: <
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“I had total grief and sadness and fear and also just disbelief that it happened. But it’s different when you lose somebody who hurt you.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Listen/Read More
Today, I'm introducing the podcast What Was That Like, by Scott Johnson. Featuring real people in unreal situations, What Was That Like covers similar, jaw-dropping stories to This Is Actually Happening, but with its own uniquely fascinating forma
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“I had this secret inside me that I felt was my one and only friend and companion that took me away from all the pain and anxiety that I had moving through my life.”Producer: Whit Missildine
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“This fake face I was putting on for everybody was my only sense of normality when my whole life is already changed. I didn’t want to admit that stuff was wrong, and I did it in such a convincing way that the majority of people believed me.”
“I was sure that this was his mental illness and not something wrong with me until I started hearing it in my head. And that was when I started to think, 'maybe I’m actually going crazy'.”Producers: Sara Marine
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“My earliest memories as a child were fear and anxiety…I was never able to control the situation and that unknown just haunted me.”Producer/Editor: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Listen/Read More
“I misused my position of power to get my needs met…How is it that if we’re called by God to this ministry we could possibly do such a destructive thing?”Producers/Editors: Nigel Coutinho, Stephanie Lepp,
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“We have so much less control than we think we do….Death is really close at hand and we do not do ourselves often any favors by forgetting that.”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode
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“It’s much better to try to move forward with your life and accept that things are nebulous, and there are no clear answers.”Producer:Whit MissildineEditors: Sara Marinelli, Whit M
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“I completely lost touch with reality. You can’t rely on those around you, and you can’t rely on what’s within you. That’s the most terrifying thing in the world.”Producer:Whit Missildine
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“I don’t really remember not having different parts…I just thought that everybody had different quote unquote people inside them.”Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Listen/Read More
"It’s surreal. It’s like a movie. It’s like it’s not even happening to you it’s happening to someone else."Producer:Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A single mother raising a unique
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"What happened to me is one of those things where people say, like, 'that could never happen to you.' So now once that happened, it's like well anything can happen to me at any time."Producer:Listen/Read More
“I’m the kind of person where I like to know answers. I don’t like secrets I don’t like surprises…I really want to know what brought him to that. I really want to know why.”Producer:Whit
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“All those thoughts were going through my head like you’re worthless, you’re a loser, you’re a failure, you can’t be happy, you can’t feel love…just this feeling of profound failure.”Producer:Listen/Read More
“Am I at fault? Am I not a victim? Should I not be able to say that because I let it happen? I don’t know if in the human heart there will ever be black and white answers to something like that.”Produce
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“I didn’t really realize that it was a thing that was happening to me. I don’t really know how to describe that feeling, but it was just so hard to understand.”Producer:Whit MissildineListen/Read More
“I just felt something inside of me that was so sickening. It’s just like this point of realization, almost like your biggest fear in that moment had come true.”Producer:Whit MissildineListen/Read More
“It’s just confusing thinking about even today what I’m supposed to feel about the whole thing…humans aren’t really built to fully understand that kind of relationship.”Producer:Whit Miss
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“The worst thing that anxiety does is make you think that you have control to change something, like if I can constantly be in control of everything then nothing bad will happen.”Producer:Listen/Read More
“It’s like this weird tunnel of reality collapsing and you want to hold on to where you just were at where none of this happened, but now you have this thing that you have to absorb somehow.”Producer:&n
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“I don’t know what I was thinking but I just kept feeling like the waves of shame because of the shame I made them feel.”Producer:Whit MissildineEditor: Whit Missi
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“I did have the feeling that someone was gonna come back and do something horrible again after that.”Producer:Whit MissildineEditors: Nigel Coutinho, Whit Missildi
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“My personhood had been shattered into a thousand pieces that I and my family were left to pick up one at a time.”Producer:Whit MissildineEditor: Whit MissildineListen/Read More
Announcements for Season 9 of This Is Actually Happening. Includes updates on the release schedule, the new This is Actually Happening store, and more. If you'd like to submit a design for a This Is Actually Happening t-shirt or poster, send your
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“How could I allow myself to mourn what I had lost? Because if I mourned it, then it was like a death, and I couldn’t accept that the me that I knew had died.”Producer:Whit Missildine
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“All that traumatized people are really looking for is not a fix-it but more like a validation or acknowledgement that it matters.”Producer:Whit MissildineEditor:
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“It’s interesting always having this void, knowing that you have something so wonderful that could love you so much and you could love so much that exists out there.”Producer:Whit Missild
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“I have a fear every single day am I going crazy and I don’t even know it? I didn’t know the things that I was doing and the things that I was saying were so extreme.”Producer:Whit Missil
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“People say you should always trust your gut feelings. But I couldn’t trust my gut feeling and I still can’t to this day, because to me a gut feeling is in turn thinking about hurting somebody else.”Pro
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