Behind the Bastards

There’s a reason the History Channel has produced hundreds of documentaries about Hitler but only a few about Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bad guys (and gals) are eternally fascinating. Behind the Bastards dives in past the Cliffs Notes of the worst humans in history and exposes the bizarre realities of their lives. Listeners will learn about the young adult novels that helped Hitler form his monstrous ideology, the founder of Blackwater’s insane quest to build his own Air Force, the bizarre lives of the sons and daughters of dictators and Saddam Hussein’s side career as a trashy romance novelist.

Part Two: Hitler's Sex Life: The Whole Sad Story

Part Two: Hitler's Sex Life: The Whole Sad Story

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:00

Part Two: Hitler's Sex Life: The Whole Sad Story

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Follow your podcasting dreams. Let's break your handle the hosting, creation, distribution, and monetization of your podcast. Go to That's Hey there, it's Ebony Monet, your co-host for the San Diego Zoo's Amazing Wildlife podcast. In this special episode, we're speaking with Doctor Jane Goodall about the fascinating journey that led to her impactful behavioral discoveries on chimpanzees. It wasn't until one of the chimpanzees began to lose his fear of me, but I began to really make discoveries that actually shook the scientific world. Listen to amazing wildlife on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Wait. I mean, I'm Robert Evans. This is behind the ******** podcast. Bad people talk about Brandy Posey. That's me. We are here. It's Part 2. Part 2. Hitler fox. Hitler ***** boogaloo. Yes, hitlers. ****. Everybody's thinking about it. Everybody's thinking about it. Every two of Hitler's stupid **** Hitler stuff. And I'm gonna guess, you know, he doesn't seem like a guy who did a lot of core strengthening exercises. So I'm gonna guess a little little low energy. No. Yeah, Hitler is like. Like a like a like a A5 pump kind of guy. I know what mad at you. I know what his hair would do. Because I can imagine like a sweat drenched ******* Hitler with just like that little thing flipping down on the front of it. Yeah, he just constantly just. Yeah. Yeah. So mad. Like every Organism makes him mad because it makes him happy. He just gets angrier and angrier the more he comes. Yeah, exactly. He's Hitler. Why does it make me feel good? I don't understand. Good is bad. Yeah, Hitler. I was going a little Russian there. A little. A little yeah, I'm not great at accents. It's OK anyway. The podcast the Hitler. When we left off, we had just sort of established Hitler's youth and his young adulthood, the way his best friends talked about him and his sexual life, although after they were no longer his best friends. So again. I'll take everything you hear about Hitler with a little bit of salt, yeah, yeah, exactly. One thing we know about the guy for sure is that Berchtesgaden was his happy place. It's basically a quiet mountain town where he had he eventually built a giant fortress up there, but it was it. He had like a room on, like to the top of the mountain. We could stare pensively out of the skyline and contemplate being Hitler. Needed emo. I think he just needed like, Elliott Smith would have saved the world. A lot of problems. Yeah, exactly. I feel so seen. Yeah, I feel so seen. He is also right. Life is pain. I understand it. Becoming Transylvania. So the accidents are going to be all over the ******* place. Oh boy. Now, in autumn of 1926, Hitler took a trip to Berchtesgaden in order to relax and plot the Nazi parties. Next series of electoral coups while he was staying at a fancy hotel. Oh, writers retreat sometimes. Yeah, basically a writers retreat. Yeah, he was going up to Big Bear to like, right? Great, get his get his tight 5 down. But what if he also took a bunch of spinach with him that he didn't end up eating? Almost certainly, that's every writers retreat have ever gone on. I'm just like I'm bringing nothing but kale. And then that'll make kids eating. I just go to Taco Bell instead. Hitler had that experience too. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Now, while he was staying in a fancy hotel, Hitler met a lady named Maria Ryder Mimi to her friends. Now, Young Mimi was in a rough spot in life. Her mom had died of cancer two weeks earlier. Her dad, a member of the Social Democratic Party, had pulled her out of her Catholic boarding school to help run the family clothing store. Now, the store was located in the bottom floor of the hotel where Hitler was staying. And Hitler saw her as soon as he arrived. Seemingly at once, this 37 year old politician saw a grieving 16 year old girl and was like, I got to give me some of that Hitler. That's the only moment his dad's ever been proud of him. Like, hell yeah, there's one more. OK, great. Of course. Like Father, uncle, like son, cousin. Now, even at the time 16 was a bit young for a middle-aged man to date a yeah yeah yeah yeah. That became a pattern with Hitler. The older he grew, the age of the girls he flirted with stayed the same, saying Yep, Yep, this all tracks. I think nothing you've said is is surprising to me. It's just like, yeah, no, I that fills in that part of the puzzles in that part of the puzzle just like picking up little pieces. This guy's not such a mystery. Yeah, feel like I've known a few of him. It's mostly it's one of those. Like, it's a puzzle of just like a ***** ** **** but with no borders. So the puzzle just keeps expanding in every direction. And not only do I feel like I know this guy, I feel like I've stood in a police station with several friends and tried to warn the police about this guy. Oh yeah, absolutely. It's yeah. It's one of those guys that you're like, just get out of there. Yeah. Just maybe I should just tuck and roll. Yeah. You just gotta you just gotta go. Oh, God, you don't. 16 year old. That was one of the most like, I was. I was. I I've definitely told some gross jokes about women in my time, especially when I was like 1718 years old. Like, I I grew up with the same toxic ******** as everything else. One of the big things in my like, change of mind state around this was just the fact that, like, coming to a realization through my 20s that like, well, every woman I know has been scared for her life at some point during a date I'm just worried about. Like, am I tipping enough? Like, is she gonna judge? Yeah. Like the steaks are very, very different. Really different. Yeah. Oh yeah. I get it. I'm sorry. Hitler's one of those guys today who would have made a lot of women scared. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then, like, what's your problem? It's your problem. It's like, no, man, I'm not sure what the accents are going. Just think. Have a little bit of empathy, little somebody, situation that might be different from yours. Yeah. So Ian Kershaw notes, quote, Hitler preferred women much younger than himself. Also could dominate who would be obedient playthings but not get in his way. I'm gonna guess it seems pretty accurate. Yeah. Yeah. Hitler waited until he saw Mimi out of work, sitting on a bench in a nearby park with her sister, playing with their dog. Which. OK, better move than flirting or at work. Wait till she's out and, you know social public situation or whatever. She's not alone, so you're not like, you know, you could not interfere with the work. Yeah, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're if you're going to like game, like question Hitler. So far of the opening moves you could not. Not terrible other than the fact that she's a literal teenager. So he he goes up to this girl. What is this guy, a Republican? Potentially a senator from Louisiana. Basically what's going on is that it's not like this happens today. So he's a pretty big name in Germany in 1926, and Mimi recognizes him immediately. Not a lot of guys look like Hitler. Yeah. Yeah, that is 1. He's he's he's Hitler recognizable. Pretty much like that's a Hitler right there. Yeah. Did he have the mustache at this point? Oh yeah, we're about to talk about that. So Mimi later talked to interviewers, and I'm going to quote the the book explaining Hitler's kind of. The way it put together her recollection of how Hitler flirted with her during this. Quote, she describes the affair in the language of a Harlequin romance novel. Hitler is the stiff, somewhat ruthless stranger who first appears with a dog and a whip, but is later melted into a schoolgirl fantasy lover by her charms quote from Mimi there is the famous Hitler, recently released from prison, she's told he was wearing breeches and a light velure hat, she recalls, and his hand was a riding whip. He had warm, light Gray stockings and a windbreaker that was held together by a leather belt. Beside him walked a beautiful shepherd. He sees her too, and it's theatrically captivated. He asks Mimi's sister, could you introduce me to this bliss? Mimi is brought over. He transferred his writing whip from his right hand to his left, gave me his hand and looked at me with a piercing gaze and praised her dog. The dog is really beautiful and well trained. You are really good at that. They talked about dogs for an hour. Hitler quote did not take his eyes off of Mimi. Then he very formally asked her sister Annie whether she would permit him to take Mimi for a walk sometime at that she Mimi got up and ran away. So yeah, this is the first meeting still. She was fascinated. In a starstruck way. He looks quite dashing with his breeches and his writing whip. There is one note that spoils the picture. His mustache, the funny flies she calls the black hairy growths between beneath Hitler's nose. He was still figuring out the mustache at this point, so she's she's. I mean, she's a literal child but isn't entirely against it at first, but runs off when she's flirted with, which, again, this is ******* 1926. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it's also, like, at a certain point, having having been like a young gal, that you kind of have to endure those things. You, you you're polite until you see an exit, and then you're like, OK, time to go. I'm not going to also not going to, like, outright rebuke you because you're in the position of power. Yeah, it's it's weird because she, she recalls, this is like a positive thing. OK, I see. But. It's also like, yeah, she's recalling this years later and, like, when she realizes that she essentially hooked up with the most famous man of the 20th century. Yeah. Yeah. So, like the some of this is going to be retroactively. She's gonna make it, like a thing. I don't know. You know, I can't imagine being that position. So I'm not going to Judge Mimi. Writer. No, no, no. She's a child also. She's she's 16. Yeah. Yeah, he's the 37 year old approaching her. So Hitler invited Mimi and her sister to a Nazi party meeting where he was giving a speech he wasn't allowed to give. Public speeches in 1926 as a condition of his parole. So it's an older man with a parole history with like, who's on parole hitting on a 16 year old, what do you what is he, what is he, a line chef at a rib place. That's exactly how he makes his money. That ******* courtesy is he's got a tram, Sam. God. Christ. Falling off. I know these guys. I've bought Coke from Hitler. Ohh, man. Yeah, you absolutely did. Yeah, that's totally who Hitler is. Oh, God. I remember working in a in a rib place when I was when I was a teenager in high school like this. I know this guy exactly. Yeah. And there's this one chef that didn't talk to me at all until on on on Valentine's Day. He brought me a candy heart that had a picture of a moose on it. And it said, you a moose? Me. OK and I remember just being like, thanks, that's a move. I and then he had, like a child. He had, like a baby. Then he, like, brought to one of my shifts. I was like, cool, glad you introduced me to your baby. I don't give a ****. About this so how long have you been married? He's probably dead. I hope he is. In a healthy society, that's what happens. Hitler light guide dies of a coke overdose in his car and at age 34. Yeah, no, exactly. I just remember, man. No, that's who Hitler was for sure. That's true. That's ******* fry cook. There was that Fry cook in a healthy society, all our Hitlers are fry cooks, and some of our fry cooks become Anthony Bourdain's. But none of our Anthony Bourdain's become Hitlers. No. None. No, no. Absolutely not. That's that's a healthy society. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah. Hitler. Since that, this teenager was attracted to his fame. So he, like, really played that up. After this big event, he put her and her sister at the head table for dinner and sat them right next to him. So they felt like they were at the center of this big, important political meeting. But I mean, it was a big, important political the Nazis wound up in charge. So but it's funny, like thinking about, like, from the perspective of the other Nazis in the room, just like, oh, and Hitler has two children with the boss is hitting on a teenager. Cool. This. We're on the right side of it. We're the, we're the right ones. We're the good guys. We're doing great. Yeah, we got our ******* ******* cuck, pedophile boss running the party. We're we're on the right side of history. I feel like we're the good guys. We don't really are God. She later recalled. And I have to remind you, she's talking about Hitler here. Quote I was very embarrassed and blushed. It was as if he had organized the meeting just for me, as if all that counted for him now was to just conquer me. She was apparently feeling that during dinner Hitler quote fed her pieces of cake like a little child. He treated her like a child and then again like a grown woman. After dinner, he talked about her dead mom and told her that she had the same eyes as his dead mom. This game is pretty weird. Wow. Holy God. Ohh. There's just so many lot of dead moms coming into how Hitler flirts. Oh man, show me a picture of your dead mom. I hear your mother is dead. Show me mine. I'll show you your dead mother. Tragically dead massage? Yeah, exactly. Let's put our pictures together and make them kiss. Does this do anything for you? Just 69 are dead moms faces. Is that what you like, little child? This is how **** yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just whipping photos of a somebody else's dead mother. No, no. Throw your mother's photo. Yeah. Watch me cut it in half, boy. Or he followed with what me described as a core sexual advance. Although she unfortunately does not give the exact details of that. Yeah, given the 20s, it might have been him complimenting her hands or something. Yeah, completely innocent like that. Well, not completely innocent. She was 16. He was 37. But you get what I'm saying. Later in the dinner, a guest asked Hitler why he wasn't married yet. This was a pretty common question for Hitler to get. He answered that. Of course, he had to save Germany first. According to Mimi, though, at the exact same time quote, Hitler touched my legs with his knee and heavily stepped on my toes with his shoe. A funny and rude hint at what he wanted to say. This works. This works on Mimi. I know she says it does. At least you know who knows if how accurate her recollections. I mean I I get it cause also like being a 16 year old girl at that point and it's this is like this is all intoxicating. This is all very. It's all very complimentary. And not that the two men are similar, but he's like a similar level in national politics to someone like Beto O'Rourke, where people are, like, seriously talking. This guy might be in charge soon. So, like, there's that. There's that dimension of this. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And it's also like, you know, you've been forced to drop out of school by your dad, like, you're only you're only way to a better life at this point is probably through a man to another situation. Like you aren't really probably, you aren't being primed to take over a business if your dad's a member of, like, the opposite. Political party. So maybe there's a little bit of that going on, too, where she's like, my dad's gonna really hate this. I'm bringing home the ultimate bad boy. I mean, yeah, I'm kind of. There's no better date in a bad boy than literally Hitler. Yeah, I know. Seriously. OK, so based on what you know about Hitler's game so far, what would you expect his next step was after talking about his dead mom and then stomping on a girl's foot? I mean, maybe just like putting some of his dad's ashes on like lipstick and then asking for a kiss is that that would actually be less creepy. He chose animal abuse. Oh great. Here's here's Mimi Reader quote we went out into the night. Hitler was about to put his arm around my shoulders and pull me towards him. When the two dogs suddenly attacked each other. Hitler suddenly intervened like a maniac. He hit his dog with his riding whip and shook him violently by the collar. He was very excited. I did not expect that he could hit his dog so brutally and ruthlessly. The dog, which he had said he could not live without if he beat up his most loyal companion. How can you be so brutal and beat your dog like that? I asked. It was necessary, Hitler said tenderly. He touched my shoulders. His mouth changed. His voice sounded sad. Don't you want to kiss me? He asked. She forces herself to say no, that they shouldn't see each other again. Hitler takes the reaction badly. He turned cold. Kindness disappeared from his face. Abruptly he turned away, said hail, and left. Yeah, I mean, pro tip Hitler, don't beat dogs on a first date. Yeah, that's. I shouldn't have to say that. Yeah, I shouldn't have to say don't be dogs. No, I shouldn't have to say it anyway. Maybe not on the first. You know, you don't do that. Most experts say animal abuse is like a third date thing. Yeah, exactly. That's when you get that dog whip out. Yeah, yeah. You and your *** **** whip. You spooned that dog that night and just whispered sweet nothings into that poor dog's ear. Oh, I really feel for that dog. I have all of Hitler's dogs. They just saw so many. Sad masturbations, yeah, absolutely did we don't think enough about the suffering dog kind went through during those years. No, it was it was rough. Poor babes. Yeah. Now, Hitler, once rejected, was not about to give up on his dreams of conquering this girl. Literally less than half of his age. He sent one of his men to Mimi store the next day. This guy told Mimi that he'd never seen the boss so filled with love. Believe me, the man is on fire now. This got me to give Hitler a second chance. She agreed to a second and it wasn't quite a date, but she agreed to hang out with him again. He picked her up at work and took her in a ride in his Mercedes. He didn't drive, of course. His man Maurice handled the driving. Hitler couldn't drive. He sat next to Mimi in the` He took my hand and put it into his lap. Then he took my other hand as well and pressed it. Now I have your hands and I have you, and I will keep you now. You're not. You're a big fan of Hitler's Hitler's Hitler's moves. I don't like his move. OK? I don't like what Mimi needed. Like, she needed, like a Wilson through the fence to give her some advice. He had an older man going like, oh, you shouldn't be dating 37 year old Nazis. Yeah, yeah. She needed somebody to be on her side here to be like a girl. Some good adult advice. Oh, God, I guess Dad was grieving. Yeah. Not going to hit on him too hard, but it is kind of a failure of parenting if your daughter dates Hitler. Yeah. When she's 16, you know, don't kids can date Hitler. That's their mistake to make. Exactly. There's a couple of lessons that should have been taught better. Parenting at a few levels in this story would have really, really helped with some problems. So for their next date, Hitler took her to a graveyard to see her mom's grave. What happened next is just so strange that I I'm going to read explaining Hitler's description because it's it's it's weird quote, Hitler is overcome thinking of his own mother. Moved by something he did not want to tell me, what he said sounded very grave and at most distress. I am not ready yet. Hitler, holding on to his riding whip, comforts a sobbing Mimi and strangely chooses that moment to tell her I want you to call me Wolf. That was his preferred nickname, Wolf. So he takes her to his mom's grave or her mom's grave, says he's not ready to **** and then asks her to call him Wolf. That was his favorite nickname. He thought it sounded cool. He made all his friends call him Wolf's secret headquarters during the invasion of Russia. Was the wolf's lair. I'm just saying you would be one of those guys with an unironic wolf howling at the moon shirt. You can't tell people your nickname. No. Then it's not a nickname. Then it's narcissism. If you get a cool nickname, congratulations. But you gotta earn it, yes. You don't get to pick your own. Yeah, it's ********. 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And so alleviating poverty is tremendously important. Listen to amazing wildlife on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Yeah, we are. We're back. We just enjoyed the freedom of choice that Hitler would not have approved of. Although actually, if we're going to be really honest, the Nazi regime was seriously in bed with the capitalist interest in Germany at the time and phrased a lot of what they were doing as a defense of free trade against unionism. But yeah. That's the whole that's another podcast. Products and services ******. Yeah, you're talking about *** **** ***** not the entanglements of fascism and capitalism throughout history. His little modern day. Yeah, his little little wolf, wolfy, wolfy, wolfy. So on their 4th date, Hitler decided to make his move on Mimi Reader. He took her out for a walk in the woods and said romantic things to her, and then asked her to kiss him. Which is, you know, pretty timely, reader. He took her out. For a walk in the woods and said romantic things to her and then asked her to kiss him, which is, you know, pretty timeless move. That's a pretty classic date. I mean, to be fair, we're going, we're going from moms Grave, Moms grave. Well, no, we're going from a from like a dinner where he's given a speech from fascist political meeting date one where he beats a dog. At the end, 2 middle-aged Guy takes you on a ride in his Mercedes, date three moms grave, tells you to call him Wolf. Wow. And then date four. Walk in the woods. OK. I mean the most normal of the date so far is the walk in the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Solid 4th day. It's a decent time to to make that move if you're, you know, she's 16. Jesus, Hitler. OK, so here's Mami quote. I could feel how he clenched his fists. I could see how he was fighting with himself. My child. I could squash you in my arms at this very moment. I did not resist any longer. His true self had come out. Yeah, yeah. This is what Hitler says in this first kiss. Maybe his first kiss ever. Maybe not. Hitler told her that he wanted her to have his blonde Aryan babies, but whined that he didn't have the time right now, what with his mission to save Germany. How many times have you just? Just we. I mean, speaking as a man, we've all used that line. Oh yeah. I gotta save Germany, baby. I just can't help it. I just. Germany, you know you're gonna last 30 seconds, you ***** ** ****. Like, please, you've got the time now. Hitler promised to buy an apartment in Berlin for them once, you know, he was more successful with. You know, he made promises about the kind of the the furniture they'd buy and all this stuff. He told her they'd be together forever, but then he left Burke's garden and ignored her for months. This is the worst Springsteen song I've ever heard. You just Ghoster roster for a long time. When he returned to the mountains, finally, he didn't visit her. Being a teenager, Mimi did not take this very well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's OK, buddy. If you're gonna, we're going to go here. Let's do this, let's do this. I mean, all sorts of pictures appeared in my mind. Faces of other women and Hitler smiling at them. I did not want to go on living. So she attempted suicide, trying to hang herself on a door handle with a clothesline. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, she went for it. Her brother-in-law came in at the last minute and saved her. And according to Mimi, her brother-in-law had came to save her after he had gotten a message from Hitler that Hitler had just sent to him, explaining that he hadn't been. Saying Mimi recently because he'd been blackmailed by someone who'd sent a letter to the Nazi Party office claiming that Hitler was seducing underage girls. So basically, months later, Hitler comes in and is like, you know, somebody was talking about us. And I had to, like, go dark because it would hurt the success of my political party. Yeah. If, like, we kept our thing up. So that's his excuse, the truth would have come out. And so it's like he knows it's not supposed to be doing this. And this is not a lot of times when you talk about people dating teenagers, whatever. In the past, it was definitely more normal. Back then. But again, this was a political liability for 37 year old. Would have been weird if he'd been 25 and dating a 16 year old. That would be pretty normal for Austria in 1926 / 20 years. This is weird. Yeah. Yeah, what he's doing is weird and he knows it. Yeah, yeah. So Mimi claims that she found out later that the letters, you know, sent into the Nazi Party office were actually written by a woman who was close to Hitler and jealous of his relationship with Mimi. It was possibly this lady who was like his bodyguard Slash chauffeur, who was like. In love with him that he may have also ******. We don't really know that much about that relationship. There's a lot of rumored relationships that we don't have confirmation of, but one thing that is confirmed is that the Nazis were unbelievably catty *******. There was tons of drama, tons of blackmail within the Nazis. Yeah, gross. And they were all ******* with each other. Yeah, and they're all ******* messy. Just a bunch of messy ******* for sure. Messy, messy *****. Yeah, yeah, that's the Nazis. So Mimi and Hitler drifted apart for a while. The whole relationship was a huge deal for her. But it seems to have been more of a bump on the road for Hitler. During this time, he repeatedly flirted with his best friend Hanfstaengl's wife, as well as Henrietta Hoffman, the daughter of his photographer and fiance of Baldur von Schirach, one of his top Nazis. Hitler dated or at least made moves on Jenny Howe, one of his drivers and the bodyguard lady I talked about maybe the woman who sent the letter. It's hard to tell how true all the different rumors about women Hitler might have been with this, but it seems like by the mid 20s he's famous enough that, like a lot of people are falling for his charms. Yeah, yeah, largely for his fame. According to Ian Kershaw quote, none of his liaisons, it seems, had been more than superficial. No deep feelings were ever stirred. Women were for Hitler, a sport and adornment and a men's world, whether in the men's home in Vienna, the regiment during the war, the Munich Barracks until his discharge, in his regular gatherings of party cronies and cafe Noi Mau or a cafe heck, in the 1920s, Hitler's environment had always been overwhelmingly male. Very occasionally a woman would be admitted into our intimate circle required, recalled Heinrich Hoffman. But she never was allowed to become the center of it and had to remain seen but not heard. She could occasionally take a small part in the conversation, but never was she allowed to hold forth or to contradict Hitler. God, I love a silent wife. I leave the silent dumb. That's the way Hitler likes him. Better than just a silent, sorry, quiet woman who's barely alive. God, Hitler now. Hitler's next confirmed Fling was with Kelly Raubel, his half niece. See, here we go there. You can't stop a Hitler mail from ******* his own niece. Just can't. He cannot stay away from that. And that's the thing. What a hit. Two jittery nations. You guys *******. They're the same age when they start to. So he met her when she was 14 years old. Her father had died when she was young, and her mother worked as a housekeeper. They were poor. Hitler did wait until she was 16. Well, what a gentleman. What a gentleman. And that's the age when Uncle Alf, as she called him, asked her and her mom to move to Munich and become his housekeepers. Now, for them, it would have seemed like a real upgrade because he was a very powerful man by this point. He set Kelly and Angela up in an apartment, and while her mom cleaned house, Hitler took his teenage niece out on the town. He found out she wanted to be a singer, and R Kelly, Like, started paying for music lessons and promising to make her famous. Yeah, like soul tracks all tracks. It's not just Hitler. One of these guys, he was all of them. Yeah, he's the prototype for. I mean, not the there's before him too, but it's like he's really is just greatest hits all around. How many was he into Jello? What's he? Dragon lady? Yeah, she likes super into Jello and every point. Yeah, I mean credit where it's due. That might be an area where Cosby innervated on Hitler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Although yeah, there's some other crimes coming up here. So over the next year or so, Hitler fell increasingly in love with his teenage niece. This did not go over well with his inner circle. Hanfstaengl hated Kelly calling her an empty headed **** with the coarse cert of bloom of a servant girl. Which is some real sexist rich guy should please blame the child. That was brought here by the adult man in power. Yeah. Please, please, please. Yeah. Also, if he'd known Hitler's family history, he would have known servants were sort of the family thing. Yeah. That's kind of how it works out for them. Weird that he and his dad both not only sleep with their nieces, but both bring them in as, like, serving girls. How how aware do you think Hitler was of that relationship? I don't know. OK. This is, there's a lot of rumors that he was, to an extent, and he was trying to keep it hidden from people because I'm just wondering if that's like. I'm trying to, like, normalize how his parents got together in some way. Maybe even was thinking that consciously. I'm certain it wasn't conscious. But that may that may have been a factor. Yeah. Being like, wanting to sort of be like, well, no, you know, if I'm like, the biggest man in Germany and this is what I do, then it wasn't messed up how I grew up. Yeah. Yeah, fine. And I don't have to think about it that much. Yeah, exactly. No, my my mother's Aunt, white teenage girl was pretty significant. He said that she, quote, had the effect of making him behave like a man in love. He hovered at her. About in a very plausible imitation of adolescent infatuation. So Gelly wound up having an affair with Hitler's longtime chauffeur, Emile Maurice. They're forgave her, but fired Maurice. When a local Nazi party leader named Munder whined that Kelly was distracting Hitler from politics, Hitler fired Munder for a while. Kelly Rabil threatened to derail the coming of the Third Reich entirely. Hitler started cancelling plans for speeches and meetings to take her on picnics. Now Gellis probably the single most controversial piece of Hitler's back story off the top of my head. The only thing historians. Debate more of a sipperly about Hitler is whether or not he was like an active or passive participant in the Holocaust. Like those are like two of the things that are most questioned about this guy. The relationship is, among other things, the origin of the Hitler liked poop myth. So, Umm, that's where we're going next. Oh, hell yeah. I yeah. You know, it's just sometimes you think you're just going to have a Friday, and here it is. Here it is, here it is. It does feel great. So in 1929, Hitler bought the gigantic apartment that he'd first promised Mimi reader. But he was over her, so he moved his 17 year old niece in Kelly's mother was sent off to Berchtesgaden to keep Hitler's holiday home clean and to keep her away from Hitler and her daughter. So gelly and Hitler lived in separate bedrooms. But on the same floor. And now our main sources for this particular story about the relationship come from a journalist named Conrad Hayden and our old pal Hanfstaengl. They also come from Gregor Strasser, a former Nazi who fell out with Hitler. So all these stories are from very anti Hitler people who have reason to exaggerate things. Part of why I bring that up. So I just looked at they've got a real, like, I Love Lucy set up in their house. Oh yeah, yeah, it's very much that, but with poop. So Vanity Fair quotes all of these sources and I'm going to read their kind of recollection of events, starting with heighten. Quote Hitler wrote the young girl a letter couched in the most unmistakable terms. It was a letter in which the uncle and lover gave himself completely away. It expressed feelings which could be expected from a man with masochistic, coprophile inclinations bordering on what Havelock Ellis calls Unism. The letter probably would have been repulsive to Kelly if she had received it, but she never did. Hitler left the letter lying around and fell into the hands of his landlady's son, a certain doctor Rudolph. The letter was bound to debase Hitler and make him ridiculous. In the eyes of anyone who might see it, Hitler seems to have feared that it was Rudolf's intention to make it public. So Coprophile is obviously, yeah, loving poop and unionism is loving to be urinated on. So that's that's how this journalist sort of describes this mythical letter that Hitler almost sends gelly, but it gets intercepted and then another Nazi is like threatening the blackmail Hitler with it again. That's an intense how many rough drafts you go? Do you go through before you were telling you nice, you want to poop in her or be pooped in by her? Yeah. I don't know, man. We'd have to ask John McAfee that. So Putsy Hoffsten Angel told a pretty similar story in his biography, but he claims that the pornographic content was different. Rather than a letter about his desire to be pooped in by Gelly, Hanfstaengl claims that the thing that got intercepted was Hitler's nude sketches of his niece. He describes the drawings as depraved, intimate sketches of gelly rabble with every anatomical detail, which could have meant that it was something we'd consider really weird to be on the pale, or could have meant that he was just drawing. One of the girls thought was his girlfriend. I Mean Girls because she's a 17 year old niece. Yeah. But it might not have been a poop thing. Yeah, it could just be like a nude photos. Nude drawings are now the most direct story we have or most direct evidence we have of the Hitler liked poop myth comes from Auto Strasser. Now, auto was a leading figure in the Nazi Party for a while and then fell afoul of the party. His brother, who was also a Nazi, was murdered. And Otto became like a critic of the regime. And he wrote about this in a 1940 book that he published after he had. Falling out with the party. So, again, grain of salt here. Otto Strasser claims that basically, after a period of excitement, Gilly got bored of being Hitler's girlfriend since Hitler believed he had to present an image of being available and married to Germany. Hitler's handlers, like, kind of thought that Hitler sex appeal was a big part of Nazism draw. And if it was known that he had a girlfriend, like, women wouldn't vote for him and then he wouldn't be able to win election, which they may have been right about. There's something, I mean, there's something there, I guess. Yeah. It's hard to say. This was like pretty soon after women got the vote too. So like people were, I mean. People were sexist for a lot of reasons. That kind of vote for an available man. Sexy, sexy Hitler. Maybe she sees my ballot, I'll get to be Mrs Hitler. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Misses Hitler. So basically, Strasser claimed that, like, Kelly was really bored all the time, and he was, like, really frustrated and depressed and not being able to go out with her boyfriend. And finally Hitler, like, allowed him Strasser to take gelly out to a Mardi Gras party because he was like, OK, I'll let you do something, but I can't go with you because it'll look bad. So you go with my friend. Yeah, so Strausser claims that during this like party they were sitting down at a table and talking and she opened up to him with a very emotional Horror Story quote from Strasser. Hitler made her undress while he would lie down on the floor. Then she would have to squat down over his face where he could examine her at close range and this made him very excited. When the excitement reached its peak, he demanded that she urinate on him and that gave him his sexual pleasure. Gelly said the whole performance was extremely disgusting to her and although it was sexually stimulating, it gave her no gratification so. Cool, cool. What a party. What a party these German parties man got. Yeah, yeah. And again, Strasser hated Hitler by that point. May have just been trying to slander his name. Other reports of Gelly and Hitler's relationship say that it was about as normal as a sexual liaison between a niece and her uncle. Could be. We don't know what they got up to. What we do know is that in 1931, at the cusp of Hitler reaching power, Mimi Reader came back into his life. This is while he's living with Kelly. She's like a legal age this time, and not even. Related to him, she's like 18 now. Wow. Yeah. OK, so while Hitler's living with and banging his niece Mimi, Reader comes, you know, into town. She'd married a guy in the intervening years but dumped him, you know, a little bit in and basically traveled to Munich for a Hitler ***** ****. Yeah, so this is her version of events as described by the book explaining Hitler, she quote calls Hitler's adjutant, Julius Schaub. Informed that Mimi is in town, Hitler tells Schaub, bring her over. Mimi places the episode that follows in the summer of 1931 when Hitler was living in his big new. Department with Billy ruble. Now we make claims that during this visit I let everything happen. So they had sex. This is, this is like one of the first confirmations we have. And she doesn't give us a lot of detail about this, but we know that Hitler has a ***** **** with Mimi and early, you know, summer or whatever, in 1931 and then not a whole long while later, maybe just a couple of weeks, maybe a few days, Kelly Rabil commits suicide. Yeah. Yikes. Now, there are a number of theories as to why. One says she was jealous that Hitler had slept with Mimi and being. 18 at the time took the most dramatic revenge she could imagine. Another theory says she started an affair with a Jewish dance teacher in Vienna and was about to leave Hitler, and so he had her murdered. Some of the versions say that he murdered her himself. Yet another variant is that she wanted to leave her Vienna because she was just bored but had refused to let her go. And she killed herself in protest because again, she was 19. Either way, one detail is consistent across all these stories. Kelly Robel entered Hitler's room, found his 6.5 millimeter Mauser handgun, and shot herself dead through the chest. Which, again, is part of why people think it might have been a murder because she shot herself in the chest is that's a hard shot to take. But it's also not uncommon for women who commit suicide with guns to avoid shooting themselves in the head. Interesting. Yeah. Wow. So nobody knows. This is debated to this day. There are people right now who are trying to have her body exhumed in order to, like, talk and, like, think that they found out, like, it's a big controversy and stuff. Still, we don't. We don't really know what happened. It was a massive scandal at the time. People thought it was going to derail Hitler's. Political career right on the cusp of rising to power, the Nazi Party immediately responded with like basically claiming that she killed herself because she was nervous over an upcoming music recital. Yeah, the body was taken away courtesy of the Bavarian Minister of Justice who was a Nazi sympathizer. Her death was declared a suicide after a quick inquest. It was all clearly shushed up by the Nazis, of course, government. And like the fact that law enforcement was fans with the Nazis, the whole story inquest, it was all clearly shushed up by the Nazis government and like the fact that. Enforcement was fans with the Nazis. The whole story is, it's really hard to, like, grasp exactly what happened here. There's certainly a good chance she was murdered, but there's at least an equally good chance that she was just driven to suicide by her relationship with Hitler. Well, and she's also been, like, so isolated at this point. Like, your whole world is this guy, and he doesn't let you leave anywhere. And it's like you. Yeah, I can see learning about him screwing Mimi when she's living with him could have made her commit suicide. I can see how she might not have known that at all and just been fed up by it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, driving women to suicide, along with flirting via whip was sort of Hitler's thing. Robert Waite, a psychologist, wrote a psychoanalytical biography of Hitler titled The Psychopathic God now wait is like the first guy who got Langers OSS report declassified, and he's definitely a member of the Hitler was into weird **** sexually camp. So a lot of his conclusions are really debatable, but he makes a decent case to suggest that Hitler was doing something ****** ** to the girls he liked. Quote the idea that Hitler had a sexual perversion particularly abhorrent to women is further supported by a statistic of the seven women. Who we can be reasonably, reasonably sure had intimate relations with Hitler 6 committed suicide or seriously attempted. So damn. Yeah. So something, something something ****** **. *** ****. Yeah, he's he's up in some bad business. Doesn't have to be ***** sex. No, no. Even more likely maybe that he's just really emotionally abusive being Hitler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something about, you know, he doesn't seem like a supportive boyfriend. Does not seem like a supportive boyfriend. No, no, no, no. This is a guy. He's yeah, he's he's weaving some ******** in your ears. Suicide is the single biggest through line rather than poop of Hitler sex life. Yeah, Ava Brown, who was Hitler's wife eventually, who Hitler met in 1929 while she was 17 years old and he was in his 40s. Attempted suicide in 1932 and again in 1935, and then obviously committed suicide with him in 1945. There were two attempts before that point while they were still together. Yeah. Well, well, ish. We'll see. We'll talk about that. Another possible Hitler. Ever successfully committed suicide, so did Renatte Mueller and Susie Liptauer. We don't know a lot about most of these relationships. Gelly Mimi and Eva are the only women we get a lot of detail about, and Mimi is the only lover who survived ******* Hitler long enough to give it a detailed interview. It turns out that being in love with the leader of the German Reich was even more dangerous than fighting in Stalingrad. So we're going to talk about why that may have been, and about some of the things that we do know about his sex life from some of these women. The other details, but first. Is an ad transition. 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She was an actress and she got to tell a little bit of her story before leaping out of a window and falling to her death in 1937. Yeah, yeah. So I'll quote Vanity Fair. These stories came from the guy who was her director, so we don't have her directly being quoted on this. The guy who worked with her later told the OSS about like, what had gone down between them. Quote her director won a zeisler later told the OS that she had confided in him shortly after spending a night with Hitler in their riches. Chancellory how distressed she was that the nature of the sexual practices Hitler demanded of her, of which, to her mortification, she complied. She claimed Hitler fell on the floor and begged her to kick him condemned. Himself as unworthy and just groveled in an agonizing manner. The scene became intolerable to her and finally she acceded to his wishes. As she continued to kick him, he became more and more excited. So that's a really different one. That's like the Hitler liked being. And that's, to me, more believable than some of the, like, a lot of powerful men, they want to be talking to sex workers. Like, that's what these guys go in for. Yeah, yeah, exactly like they want to be. They want to be the sub. I don't have any trouble imagining Hitler wanting a woman to just kick him a bunch. No, he, like, *********** on the floor. That's. Yeah, that's kind of sounds like the Hitler we know. Yeah, no, that, that that that definitely sounds way more because it's like there's a lot of self hate going on. So it's like being able to actually, like, exercise that part of yourself. Yeah, that seems for sure. Yeah, I can see how that happened. Yeah. And that also just makes a lot of sense with like. It would be very difficult to reconcile those two things if you were a woman that, like, knew that versus the image of the world, that of Hitler that you knew. So that would be, I mean I I can see how that would help with suicide or it's it's there's also a lot of people who suspect that she did not commit suicide, that she was murdered because she knew about Hitler's sexual preferences, because she was kind of, you know, dropped out of a window in 1937, might have been thrown. Yeah, we'll never know. This whole state was controlled by the Nazis. To that point. So you're not getting a good inquest or anything? Well, it's like, how many of these women like, was it actually suicide versus murder? Well, that's that everyone. Nobody knows with Kelly either. Like it's possible they were all murdered and none of them killed themselves or the man with Hitler. I don't have trouble believing. Like even Brown definitely tried to kill herself beforehand. So I also, I suspect it's a mix. I suspect one or two of these women were murdered, some of them committed suicide. Whatever the case, being with Hitler is not great for your long term survival. Mimi Reader is the only one we get along which, you know, she's kind of Hitler is the romance character in her recollection of things, but like, she lived through it. Yeah, that seems to be pretty hard. Yeah. Damn, really dodged a bullet there. Seriously. Bullet Eva Brown did not dodge. Now I think people who focus too much on the possibility of sexual deviance and Hitler kind of might have some kind of bad intentions under the surface. I feel like focusing on that, on like the weird sex aspect of things is a way to make him seem less scary. Like calling him a sexual serial killer actually makes him less scary. Because if Hitler's like a serial killer doing all of these things because he's just Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of a nation, or if he has some poop finding sex monster, then he's not a normal human being. Like all of us. Yeah, exactly. Well, and it's also, like, that's also demonizing those sexual practices where it's like, you know, you're kind to your kinks as long as they're consensual. There's something matter with them whether or not Hitler was pooping in people's mouths. A lot of people who didn't become Hitler were pooping in each other's mouths. And it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Martin Amos's, best selling English author, is very much a proponent of the weird sex view of Hitler. He was behind one of these recent waves of Hitler King stories, one that hit back in 2014 because during a speech, he started making claims that. He believed, he basically claimed that this was a typical sexual encounter in the life of Adolf Hitler. Quote. He would fortify his underpants with clean serviettes and napkins and then he would go into some sort of excitation with Ava Brown staying at a safe distance. So Amos believes that, and I'm going to quote from an article about him, there are three schools of thought when it comes to Hitler sexuality. One is normality, which Amos says that he can be immediately thrown out because it is impossible to see Hitler as a considerate and energetic lover. The next one is asexuality, and the third is perversion now. This belief is in line with what spurned Nazis like Hanfstaengl and Strasser claim. And is is also in line with the ****** report, but very much out of line with the recollections of Mimi Reader, who probably did **** him and says that he was pretty normal outside. Like he was a weird guy, but like in terms of the way he ****** nothing that crazy. Yeah, Hitler Sister Paula does believe Mimi Reader was like the love of Hitler's life. And a lot of other people will say that Kelly was the love of his life. It's impossible to know. Maybe he never cared that much about any of them. I don't know if he's actually capable of love. That's a great question. And and and. One of the reasons that, like, like, Herman Gerring is one of the people who's, like, he was different after gelly, like, a lot of a lot of people who wound up in trial after World War Two were the biggest proponents of the Hitler totally changed after his niece killed herself. And there's some suspicion among historians that, like, well, you're just trying to, like, make it seem, make yourself seem less complicit in that. Like, no, when I got involved with this guy, he was a normal dude, and then he went crazy. And I you know, it wasn't I I did. You know, it was out of my hands also. What a way to. Blame it on the woman. I mean, the the the somersaults that people will pull to blame everything on. It's it's amazing. Wow. And it comes down to, like, the ultimate example of that is not to throw shade on Simon Wiesenthal because he's a hero, but like, the Hitler got syphilis from a Jewish prostitute room. It's like both blame it on a Jewish person and on a woman. There we go. Oh, cool. That just what a neat little bug, little bow. We wrapped that up and he couldn't help it. Victor yeah. So this, like the attitude that Hitler was just like sort of irredeemably weird and, like, couldn't possibly have attracted a woman naturally. And there was always strange. It's not only out of line with what, like me reader reported, it's out of line with like what his friends who didn't go on trial for war crimes reported from this stage of his life. We I I found an interview in time with a Carl Wilhelm Krause who worked as Hitler's valet for five years, from 34 to 39. They were like friendly. And here's what Krauss reported. Quote. What I can state here is that. There's certainly did not hate women. Proof of this are the many actresses who were invited along during the early years to afternoon and evening performances. Often during our travels he would suddenly be totally enchanted, exclaiming my God, isn't that a beautiful girl. He then turned around making me, who was behind him, moved to the side so that he had an unrestricted view behind him and could follow the lady with his gaze. If in any given place, an exceptionally beautiful woman would catch his eye, Bruckner more often than not had to find out her address. After that the lady was invited for coffee either to Munich, Berlin or the Obersalzberg, just so Hitler could have a chat with her. That sounds like normal. Famous guy. That's normal. Famous. That sounds like ******* any rich famous guy in LA seeing a girly thinks he's cute and having someone from his entourage go down there. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's classic. Sounds like normal famous dude behavior. John Toland talked to Emil Maurice, Hitler's longtime chauffeur, and this is the guy who made love to Kelly and then got fired. But they were he and Hitler were close for a long time, and despite being exiled by Hitler for ******* his niece Emile, Maurice gave a pretty reasonable appraisal of his old boss's sex life quote we chased. Girls together and I used to follow him like a shadow. The two would spend time at the Art Academy and an artist studios, admiring models posing in the nude, calling himself here Wolf. Hitler would occasionally pass an evening with Maurice roaming the night spots and streets for girls. Since the latter was attractive to women, he would act as a go between every so often. According to Maurice, Hitler would entertain one of these conquests by proxy. In his little room. He always offered flowers, even when he was penniless and we used to go out and admire the ballet dancers. Sounds again normal. A friend, wing man, for him. Like, yeah, that's all standard. Yeah. Again, these are like the. And this is a guy you'd expect. Emil Maurice would have bad **** to say about Hitler. But, like, there's nothing about that. I don't believe that. Sounds like a million guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing. But ultimately there's nothing special about Hitler whatsoever. Like, it's like, there's that's the conclusion you're drawn to now, the last destination on our tour to Hitler's love life is, of course, his relationship with Eva Brown or Brown. Eva was, as I stated, 17 when they met. She had been educated in a convent like Miami Reader, and worked at Heinrich Hoffman, his photographers shop. You know, ** *** was working there when Hitler met her in 1929. Now, this is during the same year that Kelly and Hitler were supposedly in the midst of the greatest romance of his life. So they were living together in a relationship. At this point, when he meets and invites Eva Brown out to the opera, he probably started ******* her on the side while he was still with his niece and then at one point fooling around with Mimi. So there's a point in time when Hitler's, like, fooling around with three ladies, one of whom lives with him, and not telling any of them about this. I mean. It's also standard. Standard rich guy. Yeah, that's standard rich guy. Yeah, exactly. None of this is weird. Yeah. Yeah. You're in like, you you're in, you're in the power that you've craved for so long. So you're going to like, you know, **** a bunch of ladies. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And like the Eva Brown's two suicide attempts, one of them coincides with, like, when Mimi would have come over and when, like, Kelly would have killed herself. And one of them coincides with another potential person that we think Hitler might have been ******* around with. So it's very possible that Eva Brown's early suicide attempts in 32 and 35 were because she was a teenager. Looking up in an angry man in his 40s who played mind games with her and ****** around on the sly. Yeah. No, I mean, not all that that tracks tracks so much better than sexual serial killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now Eva Brown makes is someone who I've, I've never really had make sense to me as a historical character before, but she makes so much sense if you think of her as a sensitive, artistic young woman dating a really, really abusive dude that she's in love with. Eric Kempa, another Hitler chauffeur called her. The unhappiest woman in Germany I really like Eva Brown, as portrayed by the offer Jane Tyne, now. Jane is a romance writer, mostly romantic historical fiction from what I can tell, but she's also written some serious historic essays, and the one of hers that I read was pretty good. I like the way she presents Eva because as a general rule, brilliant as they are, most of the great Hitler biographers are male and kind of suck at getting into Ava Brown's head even a little bit. So I'm going to read a quote from Jane kind of describing Eva Brown a little differently than I'd heard to describe before. Quote from Eva's letters. We learned that her parents disapproved and that Hitler would frequently ignore her in public, merely passing her an envelope of money until the end of the at the end of the evening, when she was finally allotted of room in the Berlin Chancellery, she was forced to use a back entrance in case anyone saw her. Hitler and his henchman tried their hardest to keep Ava out of the spotlight and forbade any picture of her to be published because they were keen to project the idea that he was married to Germany. Yet Ava herself ensured the opposite for posterity. She was an early adopter of Sinopharm and made endless home movies. Today she would have been constantly on Facebook. Instagramming her meals and taking selfies at the burkoff, one of her more astonishing ambitions was to star one day in a biopic of her life with the man she always called Wolf. So yeah, she's yeah, sounds like a pretty normal teenager dating a famous guy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I also like what Jane has to say about the Hitler is weird at sex myths, because I think what she says rings true with an awful lot of the other research I've read quote it is impossible to peer behind the bedroom door, but suggestions that Hitler was sexually avoid because of his obsession with hygiene. Is contradicted by observers of the time, who suggest that Hitler and Ava did share about as a couple they an interconnecting bedrooms at the Berghof and Hitler's valet heinzerling attests that they would go to bed together while Hitler's made. Pauline Kohler wrote that Hitler is not strongly sexed. Ava Brown's correspondence reveals nothing unusual, certainly not on the lines of fully clothed sex, except that once war had broken out, Hitler was unable to get interested. She used to show her friends a 1938 photograph of Neville Chamberlain on a sofa in Hitler's Munich flat, saying if only he knew what goings on that sofa. Scene like, should we ****** on the sofa? And then the Prime Minister of England said on a that sounds like a normal teenager. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you're still on the fence, if you're still on team, Hitler was a kind of demonic sexual force rather than just a gross, ****** dude who wound up in power through cunning and luck in the cowardice of arrogant men. Well, I'd like to read one more Hitler story. Mimi, Reader, came back to Hitler after their 1931 liaison. This was in 1934, when Hitler was in power. Gelly had been dead for three years, her room had been turned into a shrine, and Hitler was unofficially with Ava Brown. Now, Ava doesn't live with him at this point, because of course he's got to appear married to Germany. That old ball and channel ball and chain, Germany. This gave their fury the ability to invite Mimi in when she knocked on his door. I'm going to quote from explaining Hitler's write up of Mimi's recollections. Quote once again the relationship came to life. Once again he asked her to stay with him as his lover. She insists she will not be part of an illicit relationship. She wanted to be married and to have children. Suddenly Hitler had a fit of rage. She shouted. Why do you women only think of having children? He kept shouting. It was around 3:00 AM that he could not take care of a woman. He shouted. But he had a big mission to fulfill. They argued for two more hours than they departed, never to see each other again. Whoo. Yeah. Dodged several bullets, Mimi. You really did. And. Yeah, it's also so crazy because it's like, OK, you're going after women that are raised in convents? ************. Like, the only purpose for sex in the Catholic Church is procreation, and then you're mad at them, like you taught all the same ****. Oh God, yeah, I I think what? Like, maybe Hitler was in the poop and pee and maybe he liked sex with clothes on. Maybe not. At the end of the day, the overwhelming picture I'm left with of Hitler is that he was the same. Like every woman has dated a ****** guy. Ohh, just like Hitler, they just didn't wind up in charge of the country? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He's like a selfish ******* idiot dude that needs to go to therapy. He's selfish, he's famous, and he's going to take as much advantage of that as he can. He's a habitual liar because he's ******* Hitler and he's emotionally abusive and he screams when he doesn't get his way. Yeah, like, yeah, he's a gaslighting ***** ** ****. Yeah. Yeah, he's a yeah. Hitler turns out. ***** ** **** Hitler turns out. ***** ** **** but not like, of course he's a bad person, but he's not like, what's scarier to me about this is that, like, there's nothing. Special about him? Yeah. He's just classic ***** ** ****. It's just a normal ***** ** ****. Yeah. It's nothing out of the ordinary. And that means, like, the good thing that means is that, like, we we as human beings will never deal with supernatural evil settling down upon the world and forcing a nightmare regime on us. But it also means that there's millions of guys like this walking around who if they ever gotten to power. Yeah, this is that kind of potential. Exactly. This is the this is the blueprint for those kind of guys. Yeah, yeah. And that's why. When you look at the ******* evolution of in cell culture on the Internet, they're really in the Nazis. Yeah, they and they really into ISIS too. They love them both. No? Yeah, they love the murder and the the hatred and like the ability to do violence on like a world you feel is wrong to you. And yeah, they all have issues with women and none of them ****. And none of them, like, ask why a woman might not be into them immediately. They all have that reaction when like a buddies, like maybe just learned to dance or whatever. Dance will not run the dance. That's the ******* Hitler I want people to, like, think about when they imagine what kind of man could do the things he did. The kind of guy whose friend is like, well, maybe learn to dance, and that girl who likes dancing will be interested in you. And he just starts screaming. Yeah, like there's as if I could improve. Yeah, exactly. I'm already a perfect being. I am a perfect being. Me, 14 year old, ***** Hitler is. Yeah, no, that ******* Hitler. Yeah. I mean, ******* Hitler. He's the worst. I mean, but he's not is the thing, exactly. Yeah, he's not. He's like, he's perfectly average. Yeah, he's he's a perfectly average, ****** person who wound up in a position of power and did the kind of things that like. Comparing him to a serial killer is wrong. Comparing him to one of these incel kids who goes on a mass shooting rampage or drives a van into a sorority house or whatever to kill, that's who to compare him to. Yeah, that's much more accurate, yeah, for sure. And he I think that that is one way to look at sort of the Holocaust is that, like, it was a reaction of, like, anger at not winning this war and wanting to do as much damage as you could. And there's like an attitude of that about, like, the destruction of Berlin that like, the reason he didn't pull out of Berlin or the reason he didn't surrender. And just shoot himself that way and spare the city and people as he was, like, no, we're gonna lose. All of us are gonna die. Yeah, **** Germany taking everybody with me. You didn't fight hard enough for me. Exactly. Like, that was literally like some of the **** he would say. Is that, like, if Germany doesn't win, we deserve to be destroyed? Yeah. Yeah, like he's just a ****** angry little prick with a temper. Who, you know, if if, I mean, **** it, man, like to get really dark on you. Maybe in a society where young men like that go on mass shooting sprees, they're less likely to become Hitler. Like, I don't know if that's like. Food or whatever. But, like, Hitler doesn't have that option and just becomes Hitler. Yeah. Like, we're in dark territory here, but I do think he's that kind of guy. Yeah. Well, and it's also like it's being raised to think that you were special and then having the. Having that lie because nobody's special people special. There's a lot of people out there like, that's that's the big thing about some of these guys, like they're raised to think that they are like the Princess of their own little Kingdom and mama's boys had a mama's boy, Bruce V, that pickup artist guy living in his moms basement. Oh yeah, talking about how the Jews are behind everything. Like things just keeps happening well. And then they're mad at they desperately need a woman, but they're mad at a woman because they think a woman. Raise them as weak because they need them to feel special. Yeah. The idea that, like a relationship would have given take and that you both have things to teach each other. Like he doesn't want to be taught anything. No, no, no, no. He just wants pure allegiance. Yeah. Which is why he goes after 16 year olds. Yeah, probably why his dad went after 16 year olds. Absolutely. Repeatedly. Yeah. It's a power trip. It's a power trip. Yeah. You don't want to. Equal of any kind. No. Happens if you give one of those in cells on Reddit the most powerful military force in continental Europe. It was World War Two. Yeah, that's what happens. Yeah, no, exactly. They'll just keep pushing. Boy howdy, Hitler. Yeah. So teach your sons to dance. Teach your sons to dance. And that's the only thing we've learned today. Yes. Teach your sons to dance. Dance if you want to. Make make sure if you vote for someone they don't date. Teenagers, at the very least. At the very least. At the very least, make sure they're not dating teenagers because that's how you get Hitlers. That's how you get Hitler's don't let them **** their knees. Yeah, yeah. Can you make eye contact with a woman of your age without being filled with rage? Are you? Are you capable of, like, having a conversation with a woman without screaming? Like, yeah, exactly. So that's also, are you capable of, like, seeing your dog misbehave without beating it and choking it and scaring a teenager? Hitler just kind of mad those his German shepherd didn't finish the job early. Yeah. No, I mean, it was a goat that supposedly bit off *** ****. I wish that Goat had just ate the whole Hitler. Yeah, exactly. Chew that tin can up. Spin a mile how different the world would be if we just had, like, a weird did you know that back in like, the 1909, a goat ate a boy? OK, what if, like, in the future, the only animals that can time travel or goats? So we did try to kill Hitler. Yeah. But he only bit *** ****. The goat only just just got part of *** ****. And it was. And we actually just really made it worse than it was in the 1st place. Yeah, it would have been fine. Otherwise he would have just went on to become a, I don't know, like a like a sub and a dungeon. I feel like that's the thing Hitler might have been happy with. Yeah, absolutely. Gotten in touch with his demons. Yeah, for sure. He he just wanted to be whipped. That's why he carried a whip with him. Aware? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody with me admitting that takes some courage, though. It does it does it? I mean, it still does in 2019, you know? Like it. It's the more open people can be about the kinks and stuff like that. The and the more open sexually. The world can be more accepting than I think. The less. That's why I say this every day. I say it a lot to my roommates, to police officers during traffic stops. More dominatrixes. It's the only thing that will protect us from more Hitlers. Truly. Absolutely. That's, I think, the note we're gonna end on. Brandy, you want to plug your plug cables? Yeah. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at brand Dazzle. My website. Brandy with an IE. Posey with EYI. Have an album available wherever you listen to albums. It's called opinion cave. It's very funny. Feel free to buy it. And then I have a podcast called Lady to Lady. It's me, Barbara Gray and Tess Barker. And then we have a 4th guest on every week. Past guests have included people like Karen Kilgariff. Or a French Stewart. Or Margaret Cho. It's really, really fun podcast. And then I have a monthly show here in Los Angeles on the 2nd Saturday of every month called Picture this, and that's show that I've hosted for six years, where we pair up comedians with animators. They live animate your jokes behind you during your set. It's like you riffing within your own bits. And we get like, really insane artists to come do the show all the time. Like, we've had Pendleton Ward from Adventure Time. Craig Bartlett, the creator of Hey Arnold, has been on recently. And then we have people from amazing shows like Bojack Horseman. And big mouth and Mr. Pickles and it's it's a real, real great fun time. That's the second Saturday and that some music. That at 4:30 for no good reason. Oh, boy. But, yeah, those are my plugs. Come see me and all the **** guys. Well, if you if you currently know a young man who you're worried is going down a Hillary path, yeah, tournament to those shows. Maybe. Maybe open up his mind a little bit. Listen to some progressive comedy. Get him some dance lessons. You want to listen to my podcast? Have a couple of men let me hear a couple of men laugh at themselves and, you know, realize that it's OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get him out there. Just give me a hug or hire A goat to bite *** **** off. Yeah. Either way, you know it's up to you to fight the Hitlers in your life. We all encounter a couple of Hitlers out there. Hey, you time traveling goats listening out there? Finish the job. Next time finish the job and retroactively rendered this episode pointless. I am Robert Evans. You can find You can find me on Twitter at at I right. OK. Have a book called A Brief history of Vice where I do drugs, which if Hitler had done more of when he was young and that when he was old, he might have. They also come to some better conclusions about Ziggo. 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