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Hello, I'm Erica Kelly from the podcast Southern Fried True crime, and if you want to go from podcast fan to podcast host, do what I did and check out spreaker from iheart. I was working in accounting and hating it. Then after just 18 months of podcasting with Spreaker, I was able to quit my day job. Follow your podcasting dreams, let's break or handle the hosting, creation, distribution, and monetization of your podcast. Go to spreaker.com. That's spreaker.com. Wanna say I don't know less? Listen to stuff you should know more. Join host Josh and Chuck on the podcast packed with fascinating discussions about science, history, pop culture and more episodes. Dive into topics like was the lost, city of Atlantis Real? And how does pizza work? Say goodbye to I don't know. Because after listening to stuff you should know you will listen to stuff you should know on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, it's Ebony Monet, your co-host for the San Diego Zoo's Amazing Wildlife podcast. In this special episode, we're speaking with Doctor Jane Goodall about the fascinating journey that led to her impactful behavioral discoveries on chimpanzees. It wasn't until one of the chimpanzees began to lose his fear of me, but I began to really make discoveries that actually shook the scientific world. Listen to amazing wildlife on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everybody, Robert Evans here and my novel after the revolution is available for pre-order now from AKP press org. Now if you go to akpreps.org you can find after the revolution just googleakpress.org. After the revolution you'll find a list of participating indie bookstores selling my book. And if you pre-order now from either of these independent bookstores or from AK Press, you'll get a custom signed copy of the book, which I think is pretty cool. You can also pre-order it in physical or in Kindle form, from Amazon or pretty much wherever. Books are sold, so please Google AKA Press after the Revolution or find an indie bookstore in your area and pre-order it. You'll get a signed copy and you'll make me very happy. The Dollop crossover Special event, week three of our Henry Kissinger series and and the the stress is getting to everyone. David and Gareth fighting viciously. I'm not. I mean I've been quite calm. I just, I just when I'm attacked like Henry Kissinger I am attempting to maintain a balance of power between you and yeah and the state of Titan. You get it. You have the answers. Yes, our podcasts are now bombing Cambodia. Finally show that I relate to. Ohh boy. Well, this is this is week three. Can you all believe we're already in the home stretch of of this this series? Is it week three? Yes. Wow. Episode 5 and six together for three weeks. I know most podcasts don't make all of the guests live together, but we do it. What are they? Yeah, I I think with like like the the Internet. Hmm. I'm gonna have to look that up in my dictionary. Yeah. So I've enjoyed our time here. I've really like. I don't. I don't wanna leave. So. I mean, but yeah, I mean, I, you know, we should, I gotta go back to it as a family. We could do another couple of episodes on Henry Kissinger, but, you know, just do 1A year for the next, like five years. There we go. We'll just be like a reunion show. Yeah. What's Henry Kissinger up? A revival? Yeah. There's probably more chapters coming up. Hopefully just dead soon. Hopefully dead is what? I don't think that. I don't think that ends it. Somehow I feel like that's not going to be enough. Yeah, we'll be doing the episode about how Henry Kissinger brings the army of Hell. Back through a portal to somehow fight on both sides of the Ukrainian war and the Army of Hell's been misled as to the rationale? They're like you. You said that there was going to be a lot more slavery here. Goodwins. Follow me. Come with me. I'll show you where they hide their WMD's. Henry Kissinger. You just studied Kissinger's accent before this. Totally blew it. Yeah. You have an ear for accents. It's alright. This will be so iconic that it will retroactively become Henry Kissinger's accent. I kind of like the Nazis are now British. I do. I do want I do one, just one Kissinger accent. I nail one thing. That's perfect. Wow. It's like we're there. It's like we're in the Oval Office. I am excited for when what's his name? The guy who did vice. Uh, that director? What's his ******* name? You know, I'm talking about the Cheney movies. Yes. Uh, Adam McKay. When Adam McKay does his Kissinger movie in 10 more years, he'll use that accent type. That'll be great. Dave will be on set coaching Christian Bale. You know, you're saying hello and it's really more Allah, Allo, Allo, like aloe Vera. Hear it? Behind the ******** and and at the dollop, which behind the ******** is, is the Kirkland brand version of we like to ask questions that historians all too often try to ignore it. Namely, how did bad people in history **** so? Yeah, happening. We're talking about how Kissinger boned. Are you excited for the stick? No, no, I wanna go. Can I leave? I think you want to go to take care of himself. If you understand, you know this is it is important to both cover the historical crimes of a guy like Kissinger and and to get some personal color. And since we've spent four episodes talking about his beliefs and his acts and power, it's only fair that we now turn our ******* scopes onto his sex life. Like this episode is going to have base under it, right? Absolutely, yeah. So I think the best way for me to start this segment is by reading a quote from a September 15th, 1971 article in the San Francisco Chronicle. As a warning guys, there is a 30% chance this is going to give one of you a stroke. Oh no, you mean wait, you mean we're gonna be stroking it or actual stroke? That. That is impossible to say. OK, quote. Henry Kissinger. Sex symbol of the Nixon administration, stemmed by mistake. Let me bite a stick. I'm just gonna bite a stick. Just to be safe. Let me just get a I'm just gonna get a branch in my mouth. Steps out of his office onto a sun drenched San Clemente Terrace with a cup of black coffee and sits in a white deck chair with his legs crossed. The man. The man who was pressured Moscow, drafted state of the world addresses, advised the president to enter Cambodia, and paved the road to red. China appears as something of an anachronism in his baggy midnight blue cotton trousers, white black tie shoes, bright blue unfitted blazer, blue and white striped shirt, and striped tie. What you guys holding in so far, I mean. Embedded reporter LL Bean. What? Why can't I can't imagine combining the fashion sense with the war crime. It's so good because they acknowledged the war crimes and they're going to talk about how he stressed. It's like Henry could be walking down a catwalk, like like you'll see Henry right now in a tight white pants suit. You could see it sucked him. Henry, also known for ruining Cambodia and Vietnam. Spirit, continue the quote. Here comes mass murderers sex machine. Hmm. Kissinger. Ohh no, it's an open robe. On the back wall you can see some victims of the Agent Orange campaign in northern Vietnam and John Henry here. Sucker. You could notice the outline of his hog in those. I don't know fancy pants brands, otherwise I would have finished that that joke. But I'm gonna finish the quote now because by God, there's more. Yeah, what are you trying to do, seduce me? Henry will tease as he notices his visitors hot pants. You know I like these hot pants very much. Then he'll light your cigarette, touching your hand as all Continentals do, offer you a cup of coffee and discuss trivia as readily as he would a Sino Soviet on taunt. The impeccably tidy image is perfect for dealing with Alexi question or challenge or Zewen Lai or lecturing at Harvard. But one cannot help wonder if the movie stars mind that the ankle socks of Washington's greatest ******* are falling down. Or that his wiry chestnut hair, which flashes golden in the intense white sunlight, is too close cropped to run their fingers through. Or that at least ten of his 178 pounds protrude over his thin black belt, somehow shortening his five feet 9 inches. But suddenly an electric twinkle will flash through the intense blue of his eyes, and one catches an inkling of that movie star magnetism, that special quality which causes some people to call him. Cuddly Kissinger. No. How is that the craziest thing that's happened so far? How is that? How did that happen? Ohh man, it's worse than war crimes. Yeah, this is Oh my God. A bottom below the bottom, folks. Can we go back to just murdering hundreds of thousands of Cambodians? How did that happen? What in the **** just went on? Is this a guy or a lady writing this? I think it's a lady I'm on. I'm certain it's a lady. Yeah. She **** she wants to or the dude wants to. Well, she doesn't. He holds your hand when he likes your cigarette. Why do we have to talk about Kissinger's chest hair? Why? Why? Why indeed? Why indeed, David? Because can we napalm it? That this is what napalm's for, right? Speaking. And that hair of Henry's. This has convinced me there is a place for the B52 bomber. In his pants, boy, that's what Henry calls little Hank. So, bafflingly, almost impossibly, it is not hard to find articles written at this exact sexual tenor. And unfortunately, I I would I would love to tell you guys that I'm sure this was like a satire or a joke, but the people were weirdly serious about this kind of **** in 1972, and there's no way you're ready for what comes after this part of the sentence. In 1972, the Playboy Club hosted a poll of the Bunnies and asked them who was quote the man I would mostly not go out on a date with Henry Kissinger was number one. Oh my God, what in the ****? No, no, no. What a horrible indictment of the worst indictment of America that has ever been. This is the most damning thing you can say about us right on the ground and the Playboy Mansion. What? How is that? I can't. It's like we're in the back to the future BIFF timeline. Well, hold on. The the man who massacres hundreds of thousands knows how to ****. That's just an old saying. That is. That is an old saying. I want to **** you like I **** the people of Vietnam over. So once the first few articles about Henry Kissinger's, you know, sex, symbol, attitude dropped, you know, Kissinger himself started being questioned by reporters about the phenomenon. His standard reply became one of his most famous quotes. Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I mean, like, there are, there is. I mean, people are attracted to like, yeah, psychos too, like. Ted Bundy had like a fan club and like, you know, like, I mean, like, I've been compared to Jeffrey Dahmer a number of times. Looks wise, which is always been a pleasure. And you're both very handsome young men and yes, thank you so much and both still in the primes of our youth. Absolutely. It's still, it's like it. You feel like there is a separation with him and what it just seems very like a very strange connection. It's it's baffling. Other than that, like, here's the sad thing. We're going to get to this. It's not just that he's powerful. And the other thing about him that makes him women so attracted to him is like bleak in a surprising way. But but we'll we'll get to that. So famous women loved being spotted on Kissinger's arm. One night he was cited at the Trader Vic's in the Los Angeles Hilton, flirting and holding hands with Jill Saint John, who played the very first Bond girl he dated the first James Bond girl on. The Hague. He needs to be in The Hague. Yeah, she's Jill. Saint John, to be honest. OHS John. But that little ******* murder troll, well, that was so horrifying. Who could have been in that part? But who goes from bond to murder? Munchkin? I mean bond is kind of a murder, like, yeah, but he's a good. He's a good guy, was he? Come on. Right. Always a good guy. So while they were out On this date, Jill, Saint John and Kissinger were spotted by. Ann Miller Anne was a a dancer, famous dancer at the time. She approached Kissinger and quote in a friendly way, these are the words of biographer Walter Isaacson criticized him for having fun in public while our boys in Vietnam are getting their heads shot off. Kissinger responded dourly. Miss Miller, you don't know anything about me. I was miserable in a marriage for most of my life. I never had any fun. Now is my chance to enjoy myself with this administration goes out. I'm going back to being a professor, but while I'm in the position I'm in. I'm damn well going to make it count. I mean, really avoiding the the central issue station. I mean, like, you know it. At no point does he acknowledge that that is an unfair thing he's doing. He's just like, look, come on, even us. You know, psychopaths need to have some fun. Yeah, and it's it's. I mean, it's nice to hear someone, like, approach him and and say something like that, too. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, she approached him for not doing right by our GI's and as opposed to not. Doing right by millions of Cambodian and Vietnamese. And it's a more assault. It's a more solution, yeah. Civilians. But yes, it is a morsel. I did something similar to the lead singer of the Counting Crows. I went up to him and said that his his band was bad and they drove me crazy. So bands of war crime, you know, Dave, you might have had more of an impact if you'd criticized him for playing his music while our boys in Vietnam are getting their head shut off. Are you would have had some trouble parsing that out, Sir. Are you OK? Yeah. Yeah, I've been playing your jam band while I'm watching Vietnam are out there, dying in the mud, face down in the muck. How dare you. I think you have the wrong person, that kind of grass. I know what you did. Something about a parking lot. That that you are, you are edging up on my favorite conspiracy theory, which is that the Tonkin Gulf incident was engineered by the Counting Crows in order to sell out. Several decades later. We know it was, we know, absolutely. That seems proven at this point. So biographer Walter Isaacson describes Kissinger as having, quote, the boyish Glee of a senior on prom night and and the twinkle of a middle-aged rake. He regularly had, quote striking blonde women come with him into the White House on lunch dates so he could show them off to his colleagues, telling a co-worker on at least one occasion to eat your heart out. So he's very much like bragging to other dudes about the fact that being Henry Kissinger has turned him into a sex symbol and he just had a gun and he was like, no, literally eat your own heart. Yeah. So it was known that Kissinger's notorious temper could be somewhat offset by tossing young women in front of him. When his staffers ****** ** and had to give him bad news about a scheduling issue, they'd send the youngest female secretary. They had to go and give him the news. The White House Press Office used Diane Sawyer for this purpose. Oh my God. Eventually, the two started dating. Oh my God. I mean. She should not be allowed to still be doing news. I mean, you know, he's a point. You you're you need to have your news license revoked. Do you think you just do you think he just comes? Pure poison? Ohh yeah. It's like sarin gas. Yes. It's just like a gas slowly releases. Yeah. We could harness Henry Kissinger's come to to get Europe off of of Russian crude. They're gonna drop the kissenger goo on us. Diane Sawyer later told New York magazine quote the power of Henry working a room is still seismic. All of a sudden everybody wants to step up their game and say something he'll find interesting or funny. And you know, I don't know how much of this is just like his neck. He's clearly a charismatic man, right. He clearly has it feels like it's, it's dinner for schmucks and he's like the rube like it feels like it's not just doing this is a bit, everyone's just doing a bit like it's just like it's incongruent with the person that we I see and hear about that you're like, Oh my God, if you could get in a room with Henry Kissinger, just get right next to you will not leave his side. Sexy, obviously sexy. Who wouldn't wanna **** Henry Kissinger? Of course. Want to. Now, this is all profoundly upsetting, but it gets bleaker. So if Walter Isaacson, who's who's probably Kissinger's best biographer, if Walter Isaacson is correct, the reason all these women liked hanging around Henry wasn't just that he was powerful. And no, it was not that he had, you know, incredible **** game, which I'm sorry for saying that in the context of Henry Kissinger. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate we just lost. We are. We just plunged in the rankings. Hey, firebowl events. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to quote now from Kissinger, a biography by Walter Isaacson Kissinger, secret with women, was not all that different from his one with men, whom he wanted to charm. He flattered them, he listened to them. He nodded a lot, and he made eye contact. But unlike the way he was with most men, Kissinger was exceedingly patient with women who wanted to talk. Very few men in the 1970s actually listened to women. According to Betty, Lord Henry talked with you, talked to you seriously, and probed for what you knew or thought. He was someone who could and would make a Jill Saint John feel intelligent or a Shirley MacLaine feel politically savvy. Next to Ingmar Bergman. He is the most interesting man I have ever met, said Liv Ullman. He is surrounded by a fascinating aura, strange field of light, and he catches you in some kind of invisible net. Over long dinners at public places he would listen with sympathy while women talked about themselves, their lives, their hopes, and even sometimes they're slightly wacky new age philosophies. He would call them on the telephone late at night and talk for an hour or more at a time. He was a great friend. Especially a telephone friend, always there when you needed him, said Jill Saint John. The Dirty little secret about Kissinger's relationship with women was that there was no dirty little secret. He liked to go out with them but not home with them. His fascination with affairs tended to be foreign rather than domestic. Henry's idea of being romantic was to slow down his car when he dropped you off at a date, said Hower. He may have been how? In fact, the most celibate lecture in Washington, people say yes, he doesn't do anything with this, with these girls, his friend Peter Peterson once remarked. Yeah, this is what is what the **** is happening. So he's a little asexual. I don't know. I mean, he definitely had sex. He had relationships, he had kids. But I think the, the being seen with women, the being seen as a sexy but wasn't. But I don't think he had a particularly high sex drive. I don't think he's going out and like ******* his way through like famous people. I think he likes being seen in public with beautiful women and I think beautiful women. #1, he's safe. Like he's not going to pressure you for anything. And #2, he'll actually listen to you like he's company. It's it's an extremely low bar. It's really bleak right there. There is. Like something to that. You know? It's like he's he's doing. Yeah. I I mean, I think that even now with guys like when I'm here, like guys talking like, yeah, it's like, just be respectful and it'll probably get you like, I mean it at least makes you not an *******. Yeah. I mean he's he's he's you know what it is? I think the the women in this situation are getting something out of it, right. Being with Henry Kissinger get you in the news, it raises your profile. He's extremely famous and powerful and you get taken maybe even more seriously, you know? As a woman who's a, who's a journalist, who wants to be seen as kind of intellectual being around Henry Kissinger, he's a very serious public intellectual. It's good for your career. And also he's just men in power were so much worse than than they even are now that he was like the best dude in that world, you could hang out. He's kind of like it. It's almost like a Batman villain again in the sense that, like, he's got he's this. Evil ***** ** ****. But yet he is also able to hold a conversation and not be a prick. And you're like, wow, who could pull off such opposing forces? Yeah, he treats women like humans. That's his magic. Yeah, literally. That is his magic. He he he will look a woman in the eyes. Yeah, he is the only Saint John feels smart. The guy is a magician. Yeah, he is the only. He is the only man in power in Washington. You see who will, like sit down with a woman and listen to what she has to say, right. And as a result, he is the primary sex symbol of 1970s bar is so low. I mean it's incredible. It also again is it comes down to what we've talked about before with him, which is media normalization and how it is just once you kind of create that bubble. It it it. Most people just acquiesce. And then you're just like, you know, you kind of like Diane Sawyer is just like, Oh yeah, well, he's people don't throw. Brexit. And when he's outside, so he's OK now. Isaacson gives an example of a typical relationship, Kissinger's friendship with Jan Golden, who's a New York socialite. He dated from 70 to 71. She was 22. He's like 50. And Kissinger had been given her name like Kissinger had been given her name by by Kirk Douglas. Jesus Christ. Douglas is the ******* hookup in this case. God. So Henry calls her one day, without warning and asks if she wants to come out. Your dinner. When she flew down to DC to meet him, she was met at the airport by one of Kissinger's military aides, who drove her to a fancy club where he was dining. The two sat down to eat, and midway through dinner, Henry got a phone call and stayed away for 40 minutes. When he came back, he apologized and said that the Secretary of State had needed his advice. But whenever he was present, he paid close attention to her, and he asked for her opinion on issues of the day. She found the overall experience heady. The two dated for half a year without any romance ever developing, Isaacson writes. Quote only once did they go back to his apartment, and when they arrived at aid was there fielding telephone calls. By Goldings count. The phone rang 40 times. You couldn't do anything romantic in that place, even if you were dying to, she recalled. Who's dying? Nobody's dying to. She wants to get ****** by the old weirdo. Yeah, she's she's she's into it. I must warn you, my **** is horned. Yeah. Yeah, she said. I just don't think Henry was interested in sex when it came time to perform well. I just think he was too preoccupied for it. He didn't have time for it. Power for him may have been the aphrodisiac, but it was also the climax. Oh my God. That's God. I know that's a lie right there. That's what he was doing in the bathroom for 40 minutes. Ohh Henry. So on one occasion Henry was more honest than usual with one of his female friends, Oriana Fallaci, who's an Italian author and a former World War Two partisan. She's actually pretty fascinating person, he said. Quote, When I speak to Lee Docto who is the the Vietnamese negotiator for North Vietnam, I know what I have to do with lead octo. And when I'm with girls, I know what I must do with girls. Besides, Lee Dr doesn't at all agree to negotiate with me because I represent an example of moral rectitude. This frivolous reputation, it's partially. Exaggerated, of course. What counts as to what degree women are part of my life? A central preoccupation? Well, they aren't that at all. For me, women are only a diversion, a hobby. Nobody spends too much time with his hobbies. See, for a minute there you're sort of thinking, OK, well, if he if he's getting something out of female accompaniment, then in a way that is. I mean, it. There's something kind of like there's is something kind of nice about the idea that a guy isn't just not, like trying to **** his way through, you know, beautiful women. Like, he is just enjoying the company of women, but then the more you kind of peel back, the more it just does seem to be a real like, he's just a he's just backwards. He's a backwards person. Every part of him has just been rearranged. He's like a a mannequin body of guts that fell down and was put back in properly. Now the surprise Kirk Douglas cameo there may key win on the fact that Henry was also very popular with the celeb set during a party thrown for Gloria Steinem by the talk show host Barbara Hower, Kissinger told those assembled I am a secret ******* now. Yes yeah, that's the thing he claimed. Like any hole. Maybe it's a joke that means he's like he's saying he likes to **** but all the evidence we have is that he doesn't like. Yeah, I think again, I think that's him myth making. I think that's just saying that I like to go around and touch the genitals of ******* people. Yeah, you go to a swingers party in DC and Henry's just there putting a finger on things. Is it OK if I penetrate both of you with the pinky rings? I get nothing out of this. It's fine. Don't worry, I'm camless. So Kissinger missed the announcement that he'd been nominated for Secretary of State because he was on a date with Norwegian Oscar nominee Liv Ullman. He took Candice Bergen out on a date when she was a young star. She later said that he gave her quote the sense of shared secrets, probably the same set he gave every anti war actress. Like he would act like, oh I'm really against the war. I'm, I'm inside the administration like trying to get us out of these things, you know? It's just like, yeah he's he's just he doesn't he's he. Yeah he's a psycho psycho. I don't know what else to say about it. Does that mean everybody's completely everything we've heard is completely contrary? He's the ******* devil. Yeah, yeah, it's just psychotic. But also you have to credit. Like, I don't think Candice Bergen is lying. I can imagine how. Yeah. You're not Privy at that point in time to any of what we have, right to any of this information we have about how much he was planning this, about what A2 faced liar he was. So maybe you believe. Yeah. This man is so intelligent and is so, like, emotionally competent. I can't imagine him being the architect of these war crimes. He must be just. It's. Such a Titanic system of evil. And he's fighting alone to bring it down and like, it must be why Hillary Clinton still hangs around him. He's like, look, I had nothing to do with any of that. Hey, Lily, don't worry. We'll talk about that. Gareth. OK, go. Great. Ohh God. So I'm gonna quote next from Niall Ferguson's Kissinger quote for the press. The story was irresistible. The Dowdy Harvard Professor Reborn in Hollywood as Cary Grant with a German accent when Marlon Brando pulled out of the New York premiere of The Godfather. It's executive producer. Robert Evans on Hess unhesitatingly called Kissinger and Kissinger obligingly flew up, despite Blizzard conditions and a schedule the next day that began with an early morning meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff to discuss the mining of Haiphong harbor and ended with a secret flight to Moscow. A reporter asked Doctor Kissinger, why are you here tonight at The Godfather premiere? Kissinger responded. I was forced by who? By Bobby Bobby Evans. Did he make you an offer you couldn't refuse? Yes. As they fought their way through the throng, Evans had Kissinger on one arm. And Ali. Grant, on the other what in the ****? I know, right? Would you have called that when we started this ****? No. It's like you've you've lulled us into this being. OK? Because at the beginning, absolutely not. But now, I mean, imagine, honestly, like a war criminal on a red carpet going like, look, I didn't want to. Obviously I want to stand. So Vietnam. But Bobby called. You know Bobby. Ohh man, it's incredible. You know what? Who else attended the premiere of The Godfather with producer Robert Evans and Ali McGraw? I can't wait to hear the sponsors of this show all deeply tied in. Well, of course they are right, like they're the kind of people who get invited to hunt children on. Private Island reserve off the coast of Indonesia. You know, I've heard it's an archipelago. Hmm. I refuse to believe that Hollywood producer Robert Evans did not hunt children for sport at least once. There's just no way, yeah, those glasses were just scopes, he laughed. Like a man who has haunted the most dangerous game. Anyway, here's ads. Mint Mobile offers premium wireless starting at just 15 bucks a month. And now for the plot twist. Nope, there isn't one. Mint Mobile just has premium wireless from 15 bucks a month. There's no trapping you into a two year contract. You're opening the bill to find all these nuts fees. There's no luring you in with free subscriptions or streaming services that you'll forget to cancel and then be charged full price for none of that. For anyone who hates their phone Bill, Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for just $15.00 a month. Mint Mobile will give you the best rate whether you're buying one or for a family. And it meant. 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I believe it was 18 months after I got on with speaker that I was making enough that I could quit my day job. It was incredible. I always feel like an ambassador for speaker, but that's because I'm passionate about podcasting. It's really easy to use. I always tell people I am so not tech. Took me 5 minutes to get comfortable with speaker, and when I find a new friend that has an incredible show, I want them to make money. I want them to be able to do what I did. Follow your podcasting dreams. Let's break your handle the hosting, creation, distribution, and monetization of your podcast. Go to spreaker.com. That's spreaker.com. Get paid to talk about the things you love with spreaker from iheart. We're back now. In our Cambodia episode, I mentioned, and by the way, we're done with the sex stuff. You made it through. Wow. I ripped my sweatpants, my sweatpants half ripped. God, please get back to the killer. Don't worry. You know, in our Cambodia episode, I mentioned that the illegal bombing of Cambodia was leaked to the New York Times. And this was a big story. And it prompted Nixon to suspect that Kissinger's liberal staffers had been the ones who had done the leaking. And so after this gets leaked, Kissinger and Nixon worked together to orchestrate a wiretapping program. While Kissinger initially ran the whole program, he was actually in charge for only, like, a day. Nixon decided pretty quickly that he didn't trust Kissinger. After all, namely because Herbert Hoover expected that Kissinger was the one leaking things, and this is because Kissinger absolutely was leaking things. Now, he was not leaking the bombing of Cambodia, right? But Kissinger had his favorite journalists that he'd leak things to. Some of them were guys he wanted to write a book about him, you know, and so he wanted them to give him positive coverage. Some of them were like leaks in order to hurt other people in the administration because there's just constants nixons. We're not getting into this enough. But Nixon's administration is just like an endless series of power struggles. Everyone is *******. Over everybody else, right. Right. Like, that's that's the Nixon administration, right? That's incredible. Yeah. It's it's really quite, quite a tale. So, yeah, Kissinger's absolutely leaking some stuff. And that's at Nixon is pretty aware of who Kissinger is leaking things to. And as Walter Isaacson writes, the real reason why he pulled Henry from overseeing the program was that the two were having one of their periodic feuds. Nixon actually made the call to Polk Kissinger from the wiretapping program right before he flew to Camp David. And, like, stopped returning Kissinger's phone calls for a week. It's this, like a thing. They it was like, it's like ******* 19 year olds fighting. It's very I'm not here. Yeah, they literally had just little tiffs, and they had little tips, you know? They got their little smile, put them to voicemail. There's there's so much petty ******** between Kissinger and Nixon, and they're very much like, if you've ever been in a codependent relationship, the Kissinger and Nixon will seem extremely familiar because they're, like, be fighting over some stupid ******** and then things will get bad. And they'll, like, come together and be like, all collapsing at the same time as they're propping each other up. It's very funny. I got. I mean, millions die, but I'm sorry that I said that to you earlier. Well, I've been waiting for your apology. I can't stay mad at you, that's all. Who else will I bomb Cambodia with? Look, we have too many people to kill to stay mad at each other for this long. So good over here, your picture chef. Despite Kissinger Nixon periodically being angry with him throughout the duration of the wiretapping program, Henry Kissinger retained the ability to pretty much wiretap American citizens at command. He would submit names to the FBI who would start a wiretap on that person. When the secret wiretapping program was leaked in 1973 and it blew up into a big congressional inquiry, Nixon took the blame, defending Kissinger by saying it was his responsibility not to control the program, but solely to furnish information. To the FBI. So what they claimed is like Kissinger wasn't ordering wiretaps, he was giving it the FBI information on people we thought were suspicious and they would decide to wiretap. And it's a coincidence that all he would do is hand them a name and they would immediately start the wiretap, right. It's like he would give the garment to the Bloodhound, but he would contact the person, but he's not hunting the child looking for him on go for yeah. So. It's also, though, like, this might be the moment that proves Dick Nixon was actually a better person than Henry Kissinger because she just because he did like kind of take a hit for his team. Not that he wasn't responsible for the wiretapping. It wants to. And the land of no respect a man with one ounce has on it all. Umm, it was like a tiny, tiny dollop, if you will, of honor from Henry Kissinger. Yeah. And we just never see that or from from Nixon and we just never see that from Kissinger. It's kind of like saying that, like a cheese grater is better to **** than the blade of a jigsaw. But, you know, it's something that got really well. No, that now that I think about it. I mean, if someone laid it on the table under your head. Like, right. Yeah. Well, let's hear me that cheese grater. Let's create this cheese. What do we say, gentlemen? I'm gonna drop trout. Let's get great. So here's how the secret wiretapping program worked. Kissinger and another Nixon dude, I think it was Haldeman would submit names to the FBI, which the FBI viewed as requests, right. The transcripts of that person's conversations, then would all be sent to Kissinger's death desk. So he got direct transcripts of every wiretap personally, and he would decide what to bring to Nixon. He wasn't the only guy he because. Again, Nixon had multiple, like people kind of competing through this program, right? Right. He's like the head writer. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So James Adams, head of the FBI's intelligence division, later told a biography that he did not think there was, quote, more or less wiretapping under Nixon than under previous presidents. What made things unusual then was that the wiretaps Nixon and Kissinger ordered were on NSC staff, individuals that were part of the White House family and Isaacson's world, right quote in other words. Previous wiretaps had mainly been on suspected spies, potentially subversive union leaders. And the like, a regular program of wiretapping one's own aides was, according to Thomas Smith, another top FBI official. Unprecedented. Oh my God, it's amazing. Like, that's what's amazing, right? It's like, yeah, well, no, it's not unusual. That's for this many wiretaps. Yeah. It's just normally on people that you're worried about, like, attacking the country, not people who you've hired. The FBI is like, you know, we're OK with spying on dissidents, but they made us spy on their friends. We feel gross about this. What you see, Henry Kissinger's wiretapping Nixon? Yeah, she's getting very catty. Instant cheers. Just ask for a wiretap on himself. What I'm up to I don't trust myself. You were joking, but you have accurately predicted where the story goes. No. What the ****? What? This is such a weird chapter of American Polygon. Trust me, as far as I could throw myself Oh my God, I am. I am such a ******* *******. Look at what I was saying. Oh my God. So these wiretaps were all considered legal at the time, although the Supreme Court did later determine that they were illegal. It was kind of like one of these at the time. They were legal. And because of how gross they were, the Supreme Court was like, you know what? No. And thankfully, the US never never wiretapped people again. That's the end of it. That's the end of it. Famously. That's why Edward Snowden is famous for his reveal that no one was ever wiretapped again. That's why we don't know who Edward Snowden is. Yes, famous private citizen living in Ohio. Edward Snowden. Paula. Name out of the air, random guy. Umm. So a tremendous amount has been written on the subject of the wiretapping in the Nixon administration. I'm not going to go too into detail on it, because as sleazy as it is, wiretapping your friends doesn't quite measure up to war crimes. Like, it's gross, but it's also not that gross income. Super weird. Yeah, yeah, it's just like, weird. It's a weird thing about them. There is something I should read here that reveals something meaningful about Henry's character. William Safire was a New York Times op-ed columnist and a Nixon speech. And a Nixon. Speechwriter, he later said that Kissinger was quote capable of getting a special thrill out of working most closely with those he spied on the most. So like Sapphire's attitude is like, he was doing this mainly because he thought it was like kind of hot to to be wiretapping a guy that he was working with orgasms, yeah, finally. It's the power thing. He it's the power thing. Yeah, he knows he's he loves that. He's like ******* over someone he's just hanging out with and talking to and they don't know. He's like. Deliver. It's like, yeah, he gets like this crazy thrill out of it. Yeah, he he knows secrets about them. Like, oh God, it's so ******* weird going to wire tap that ***. So he gets like, yeah, that that quote from Kissinger Powers the ultimate aphrodisiac. It's usually translated to him being, like, that's why women are so into me, right? Because power turns people on. But I think it literally means that, like, he kind of gets off on, on exercising power, right? Like, 100%. That's his thing. Oh my God, I can even **** my friends over. Yeah. It is also worth noting that Henry wiretapped himself once he took office. He had a secretary. I know, I know. But it happened. Once he took office he had a secretary listen in on all of his calls and take memo notes on his conversations. He also had a series of what are called Dead Key Extensions added to phones. These are keys that were secretly added to phones in his office so that his secretaries and aides could like press them to listen in on calls with that other people knowing and take notes on the calls. When Nixon when Nixon would call Kissinger drunk, slurring his words, Kissinger would like wave all of his people who get in there, get in there, get in here, like pick up the phone, pick up the phone. This Busters, we got one and then he would make faces making fun of the president while his notes is like AIDS listened it OK. I mean just OK just take this. Coolest thing about him on his side. Now take a step back and realize that Henry Kissinger is making fun of the wiretap he's called on himself while he's talking to the president whose blackout drunk. It's it's something else while a war is it happening not to minimize how ****** ** you know the current administration to the previous administration was, but by God America still has not reached the Nixon peak of craziness we've gotten it in like. He says, but little bit had the foreign company they've never had like the full team together. Yeah, you can't. It's it's really hard to compete with Dick Nixon and Henry Kissinger and I mean, I talk about ahead of his time. Oh my God, his stuff age is great. Ohh man. So Kissinger also used the transcripts he made to attack his coworkers and reinforce his loyalty to the president when his colleagues said something to him that he knew Nixon would hate or when someone made a comment agreeing with Kissinger on an issue. He would pass those notes from his secret conversations on to the president. He would hand the president like a transcript of a call he'd had with like a thing underlined that made Kissinger look good. Oh my God, from Kissinger, a biography quote. William Sapphire, who dubbed the transcripts the Dead Key Scrolls, said he once saw Kissinger altering 1 to shore up a point he wanted to make to the president. He had been chewing out a reporter from the Christian Science Monitor for writing a story that was unfavorable to Nixon. In doing so, he also tossed in occasional complaints about the perfidy of secretary. Rogers, since he was planning to send the transcript to the president, Sapphire said he had taken a draft and edited it, adding to the fierce loyalty of his own remarks. So he would, like, mark it up to make him, like, be more of a **** *** to kick to Nixon. I mean, ******* incredible. I don't know. Nixon's also, like, hammered. It's like, how hard do you have to work to, like, convince this guy? You know what I mean? Yeah. Hand him a my tie. Like it's easy. There you go. This is from Trader Vics. Like, you're my best friend. I love you, Henry. I've never had a closer friend than you, Hank. Look. Look at how much of a of your ***** I am. The existence of these transcripts was revealed by the Washington Post in 1971, but Kissinger insisted they were just for the president's files. In reality, he used them for as notes to write his two books that he published after leaving power. But he was canny enough to know they had damning information. So when he considered quitting the Nixon administration in 1973, he had them all shipped to a bomb shelter at Nelson Rockefeller cells. I mean, listen to what you just said happened. I know what you just said. I want every third sentence you have to write about these guys. You crazy? It's like magnet fridge poetry. Yeah, yeah. He illegally hit government files and Nelson Rockefeller's private bomb shelter. It's just like it feels like Rockefeller. May I use your bomb shelter for storage? With my biography notes here, of course. Of course. Henry, that's you. You know what I always say? My Bob shelters yours. These are these are what? Short stories, right? Yes. You're sure? Yeah. Whatever you need to tell yourself. I need. I need them safe in case there's a nuclear war. So obviously this is very illegal. And when Kissinger decided not to quit the administration, he had a military liaison send a plane to pick them up from Rockefeller's house, and then he hid them in a bomb shelter under the White House after he left them. You know, there's no rules for these people. Yeah, they're ******* notes. They're like, they don't need to survive the ******* nuclear Holocaust. How great, though, if a bomb is in coming towards the White House and they all go there and it's just stacked with Kissinger papers. Yeah, well, this guy was a real ***** ** ****. This is awkward. I think we're all going to perish. Yeah, he's just sitting in the corner. I don't think you should read those. So after he left office, Kissinger donated the papers to the Library of Congress under the restriction that they would not be made available until he had been dead for five years. Well, he's been dead for he's been dead for five years. Be able to read them. Now. Who makes that deal? It's not a great thing. The Library of Congress. Jesus Christ A5. By the way. Most people. Most people do like the after I die. He wants the five year buffer, which sounds a little unique. Yeah. He wants time for people to get things out of the country. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to make sure I'm pure bone. Yeah. So Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Haldeman, had Nixon wiretapped. And Nixon? Sorry. Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Haldeman and Nixon, like, had wiretapped him, which they absolutely had. So Kissinger was kind of tapping himself. But Nixon had also wiretapped Kissinger, and when he passed Haldeman in the hall, Kissinger would say, quote, what do your taps tell you about me today? It's almost remember that? What was it? I don't remember what it was on, where Lily Tomlin was the one ringy dingy operator who keeps plugging in on. It's almost like that with wiretaps, where you're just like every wire is getting plugged across Nixon's wiretapping Kissinger, who's wiretapping himself, who's wiretapping Nixon, who's also wiretapping halderman's wiretapping. Kissinger is also wiretapping Nixon. And that's why we know so much about not just, like, the crimes they committed, but like what they were saying in the meetings while they committed the crimes. Because unbeknownst to Kissinger. And everyone else, Nixon was also wiretapping himself. Like, he recorded every conversation that he had in the Oval Office. And secret is is the most that. That to me is like the one of the most. I mean, it's why we know so much because if you are able to like if if Trump or I mean, and if any of them, I mean if you had the Bush tapes, like, they would be ******* incredible. But it's also that Nixon recorded himself and then it was like, OK, take him and everyone was like, the **** are you drunk? And he's like. Actually, I am extremely I am so drunk. My Secretary of Defense has a contingency plan in case I try to nuke everyone. Checkers are been that drunk. No one has. So this was a secret until the Watergate scandal was really filled at the end of 1972, Kissinger was warned about this, that, like the Watergate story was about to break two months ahead of time. And he was horrified by the implications, namely by the fact, by the things we've already gone over at length that he had. Like he was on tape in these records agreeing and encouraging with Nixon's bigotry and his copious racial slurs. So, like, Kissinger is not involved in Watergate, so he's like, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried that everyone's gonna know that I was like, egging Nixon's bigotry on in order to kiss his ***. Yeah, amazing. Amazing for him to be horrified, like of all the things he's done. Like for this to be like, it's it's always like the weirdest thing. But it's like for this to for him to be like, this could really damage my credibility. It's like people might face poorly of me. Yeah, when he was asked about this later, about like, encouraging Nixon's bigotry, Kissinger explained that the things he'd said to Nixon were based on quote, the needs of the moment, rather than to quote stand the test of deferred scrutiny. Which was a nice way of saying I'm only racist around racists in one of the most impressive feats of mental gymnastics. Political history. Kissinger actually argued that his egging Nixon on was meant to protect the American people. Quote. He was so much in need of succor, so totally alone. Our national security depended so much on his functioning. It's called yes and OK. He was Chicago school. It's called the Improv Olympic pal. I mean, again, to be able to get away with that argument just should not be allowed. Now, Speaking of Nixon's functioning, it's probably time to talk a little more about Watergate, as previously covered. In 1971, Nixon and his team, including Kissinger, hired a goon squad of ex FBI and CIA agents, called the Plumbers and asked them to investigate the leak of the Pentagon Papers. These guys broke into the office of Daniel Ellsberg. That's the guy who leaked the Pentagon Papers. He was a Department of Defense. Actually, they break into the office of his psychiatrist to try and steal records to smear him. In 1972, one of the Plumbers, G Gordon Liddy, was transferred to the committee to reelect the president. The acronym of this organization organization was literally creeped because satire has never happened even once. Like, it's impossible. Nope, it's over. It's over. Lydia's team executed a wide-ranging plan to illegally spy on the Democratic Party, which ended with them breaking into DNC headquarters in the Watergate Building in DC. And bugging the phones of staffers, they got arrested almost immediately. Like that night they get busted, right. That's like when this all starts. And so that's what like the fact that this, like the Watergate scandal and public knowledge starts is like these guys getting arrested doing a break and keys a crime reporter named Bob Woodward in on the case. He was not a political journalist. He was like a a crime beat DC reporter. But he hears about this break in and he's like something's ******* going on here and he winds up making, you know, contacts with a guy who we later. Eventually. Like, decades later, learned was the associate director of the FBI. That's **** ******. You know, famously this guy gives him information and the Washington Post under Woodward and Bernstein, right? He has a partner in it, too. Like, they're both doing very good journalism here. They start dropping articles at the tail end of 1972 and a trial over the break and starts in 1973, January, right after Nixon wins reelection. While Woodward and his partner Carl Bernstein were running down leads, they got in touch with another FBI guy and asked him, hey, who kept authorizing? All of these wiretaps that FBI guy said, well, Henry Kissinger. In a lot of cases it's Kissinger. He's like our main guy calling us. So Woodward calls Henry Kissinger, who plays dumb at first and then tries to blame Haldeman for the wiretapping. Woodward asked. OK, well, is it possible you were the one doing the wiretapping? Henry? And Kissinger says, I don't believe it was true. Yeah, it's such a weasel answer, and yeah, he's four years old, Woodward asks. Is that a denial and Kissinger response? I frankly don't remember. I mean, I. It's kind of like it. It's it is kind of like nice to see the genesis because the I don't remember thing is just utilized so much now. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like one of the first, like where you're just like, I think if I just say I forgot I can get away with this ****. Yeah. You can imagine a young Bill Clinton reading this news story and saying, I'm not sure why, but I think I'm gonna take notes on this. I remember ejaculating, but I don't remember how that gonna come to be. It's also, it shows you, like, how insulated they were in their psychotic little Dome that once they actually take their tactics out in the real world, people like, yeah, that's like crime and we have you. They're like, Oh yeah, **** **** **** **** the president's drunk. Ohh, Kissinger admitted after that line of questioning that he might have given the FBI the names of some people who had access to leaked documents and quote, it's quite possible they construed this as an authorization. So once he makes this admission to Woodward, Henry starts to get looser and he talks about how he figured he probably should take responsibility for the wiretapping. And then he realized almost immediately, like, oh **** I ****** **. And he asks Bob Woodward, you aren't quoting me, right? Like, he's like, this isn't on the record, is it works too, right? You put it on the record and then you're like, right? Woodward says, of course this is on the record. Like, what the ****? Like I, like I never said this was off the record. What's wrong with you? Kissinger insisted. Well, I was only speaking on background quote. I've tried to be honest and now you're going to penalize me. In five years in Washington, I've never been trapped into talking like this. It's if a journalist calls you and asks you questions as the Secretary of State, you're you're calling us BFF, right? Yeah. You just wanted to chat, right? Just wanted just gonna chew the fat for awhile. I thought, how are you? What, what crimes have you committed, Bob? Yeah, it's it's it's fascinating. Yeah. So dumb. It's so dumb. Dumb. And it it shows what ******* tame little ****** the entirety of the White House press Corps were, right? Yeah. Because Kissinger thought he could get away with this. Yeah. And he finally encountered like an actual journalist for the ones, right? Like and just like 30 seconds with with Woodward and he's blown wide open and he does not handle it. Yeah, he's just ******* his pants, crying. He's like, you know what? It is you if you've seen those videos of like those ******* those Tai Chi champions. We were like in those videos, fighting their students were just, like, flipping everyone around the room, throwing them. And then, like, they fight an actual MMA fighter who just, like, takes them down in 13 seconds. Yeah, yeah. It's like how Segal fights where. Yeah, it's yeah, it's Steven Seagal, say, Putin's judo. Yeah, it is. This is this is the moment for Kissinger. That's like when when Steven Seagal got choked out by Gene LaBelle and Chad's pants. Alright, alright. Hey, I'm the star here. Come on, this could happen. Come on now we play fake next from Kissinger Biography quote Woodward wondered what kind of treatment Kissinger was accustomed to getting from the press. He consulted Murray martyr, the kindly, soft edged diplomatic reporter who covered Kissinger for the post. Well, martyr admitted Henry was regularly allowed to put statements on background after he had made them. I mean it really it does. And and what's so frustrating is that it's like, you know? They they've all kind of learned from the mistakes of this time in ways where it is. It's kind of the same ****. I mean, everything is kind of a fluff piece. You're allowed to be in the White House press corps. If you ask softball questions, you know it like this. This was like a major **** **. And they all were like, well, we the the lesson we've learned here is don't let good reporters around you. Yeah, don't let journalists exist. Yeah, it's one of those. There's so much. Come on here. It really is. This is like we are peaking. There are ways in which, like, there are times when journalism does work that way, right when I'm like, sitting down and talking to like a ******* dissident or or a protester, someone who, like, might be targeted by the state or by, you know, ******* fascist or whatever and murdered and they like, say something and then later, like, oh, you know, can I take that off the record? I'm worried that's going to like, review me. Yeah, of course, like, I'm not going to like, you could get, but like, it doesn't. It should never work that way for cabinet level. ******* government officials. Yeah, right. They don't. They they can if you agree ahead of time to make something off the record. Yeah, that that happens. That's like a thing that occurs. Although I think that's problematic too. But, like, they don't get to just take something off the record retroactively. That's not how it works. Yeah, and and I mean, this is all they care about his access. So they don't care about the actual story. They just want to talk to them again. Yeah, they wanna keep getting access. It is. It's like it needs to be a a group of people need to say that this is all ****** but instead they're like, oh, what a great cocktail party. Woodward to his credit. There's critiques to make about Woodward later in his career, but to his credit, wonders like, I don't give a **** about access. I'm trying to take down a president. Like I could give a **** who like this off here, you know? Like, yeah. So Nixon eventually took the fall, as we've covered. But the issue was brought up again in 1973 when Kissinger went through his confirmation hearings to become Secretary of State. We don't need to cover the politicking he did to secure that job, but I should note all the fallout over wiretapping and the disaster in Cambodia didn't do **** to reduce Henry's popularity at home. In 1972, he had ranked 4th on the list of Most Admired Americans. In 1973, he was number one, largely because Harry Truman had died. Which is also pretty bleak. What the ****? Ohhh. Yeah, baby, we are. I mean, and that's when you're like, we deserve it. I mean, if you are that incapable of deciphering reality from fiction, to some extent, you want to be taken advantage of. Yeah, yeah, you're the Rube who opens the door to the vacuum cleaner salesman. Yeah, we're OK. Alright, I wanna see how this thing sucks. You need my Social Security number? Of course. OK. And you promise I get $500,000 in the mail. OK, so one congressman proposed a constitutional amendment to allow foreign born citizens to run for President because of like, how much he liked ******* Kissinger. I don't like Henry. Henry received a figure at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in London, which quickly became the star attraction Miss Universe pageant contestants voted him quote the greatest person in the world. Today. Is it possible that we just put a heart in the Madame Tussaud's figure and melted it and that's what's walking around now? Yeah, that's. But we just left it in the sun for a week. Like, you bring up the media like, this is just so, like, they just normalize monsters. They act like monsters are great people. Yeah, and people don't actually hear the ******* heinous **** that they're doing. No. And they just hear he's a smart guy, but because that's what matters. He can, like, quote smart dead people that they you haven't read, but you know, they're smart because their name sounds vaguely familiar. And so you're like, well, this guy's read all these smart dudes. He must be a good guy. Because smart people don't do bad thing. Well, it's smart people don't like, go out with reporters and, you know, you know, just be like, look at Frankenstein at the Playboy Mansion. Gosh, he's got those bolts on his neck and the girls love to twirl him. So it is perhaps not surprising, even though the Watergate scandal had built to a fever pitch by 73, that Henry Kissinger was a shoe in to be appointed as Secretary of State. On the day of his first Congressional confirmation hearings, someone in the press asked do you prefer to be called Mr Secretary or Doctor Secretary, he replied. I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency, it will be OK excuse me. Pardon? And? Again, as a journalist, the proper response to that is to throw your handheld recorder at his face. Like, try to take a chair to his nose like they did to hiraldo, you know, right, yeah, break his face. Ohh, I'm not talking up on titles. You can just bow and call me on, Majesty. So Kissinger was extremely nervous going into the confirmation hearings because, again, Nixon is being torn apart for Watergate right now, and he was expecting that he'd be interrogated about all the shady wiretapping he'd done. But as it turned out, all he had to do was lie and say he'd never recommended wiretapping. Everyone decided that was fine, and he was confirmed as Secretary of State, 78 votes to 77. Jesus *******. And here's the thing. Even among the people who voted against him, there was not always strong antipathy. George McGovern voted against confirming him, but he called Kissinger afterwards to privately endorse him to be like, hey, publicly, I gotta pretend I don't like you, but, like, we're cool, right, bro? And don't worry, someday I'll be the president. And I got my eye on you, Henry. Yeah. I mean, honestly, that might have happened. Yeah, probably. So. When he was sworn in on September 21st, 1973, a family friend presented Kissinger with a copy of the Old Testament that had been been published in first in 1801 for him to be sworn in on. Kissinger decided instead to use Nixon's copy of the King James Bible, which just opened it. It's a bottle of bourbon. It's actually just a bottle of liquid poop. See this is that. Let's use that other one. Just that first one. So I'll ask for Dick Nixon. 74 was an even worse year for him than 73 had been. In July of that year, 3 Southern Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee announced that they were voting to impeach him. On August 5th a transcript of taped conversations between him and Haldeman was released, which proved his involvement in the cover up of the Watergate break in and proved he'd lied Underoath. This was the nail in the coffin. On August 7th, Barry Goldwater told Nixon he would not survive an impeachment vote. Nixon had already made the decision to leave. He met with Jerry Ford, his vice president, and told him that he was about to be president. He urged Ford to keep Kissinger on as his Secretary of State. Then Nixon made his big announcement to the American people next from history.com after the speech, Kissinger accompanied Nixon to his living quarters one last time. His story is going to record that you were a great President, Kissinger assured Nixon Henry, the president said. That will depend on who writes the history. Can you imagine a wasted Nixon showing Gerald Ford around like, oh, this is the vodka. Put that in your Wheaties in the morning. This is pineapple. You can eat this with cottage cheese everyday. Now here's * **** Nixon secret. If you pour a little Diet Coke in the bourbon, they can't tell you're getting drunk. At 9:00 in the morning. When you're confused, just nod what you're throwing up in the toilet. Say something disagreed with you in it's diarrhea. The Secret Service agents have to let you puke down their sleeves. That's what I've been doing. This is the vodka room. And this is the vodka room. And this is the vodka room. Let's draw. Here's vodka. Let's draw. Here's for letters and things like steps like that. And this is the drawer you can puke in, but just bend over and pretend you're looking for something. I'm going to be honest, I've been ******** in the fireplace a lot. It's hard to find the bathroom when you're turned in the Oval. Look, look, if you're worried, just lift this cushion up. This chair is actually a toilet with wheels. Sits behind the desk. Trying to think what else? These are laws. You can wipe your *** with them. By the way, this is all being recorded. Everything is right. This just here is actually a tape recorder. Kissinger's sorrow over his boss stepping down was soft somewhat by the fact that right around the same time he'd succeeded in overthrowing an actual democratically elected leader of good doctor Salvador, Ayende now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have. We're not going to talk about this in a lot of detail because we have gone into detail on the coup against Allende in both our episodes, on the Dulles Brothers and on the school of the Americas. It's just like, not. This is the thing to, like, cut out of our Kissinger story because we've covered it a lot before. But I will give an overview of Kissinger's involvement for the listeners who maybe aren't familiar. Robert. Yeah, I know we are all on the same page, but you're garris or whatever. Salvador Allende was a Socialist E dude. It was elected in 1970. Like all kind of socialists, the US overthrows. He was not nearly as radical as they pretended he was, but he was like solidly left wing. the US backed a military coup that overthrew him. In 1973, Ayende committed suicide and was replaced by General Augusto Pinochet, who tortured and murdered 10s of thousands of people over the next 17 years. So I'm going to be brief here and I'm going to read a summary of Kissinger's role in that kerfuffle from the Transnational Institute less than a week after Nixon received the disappointing. It's about the presidential vote. He decided to annul the Chilean vote, a quote widely attributed to Secretary of State Henry Kissinger explained Nixon's morality. I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go Communist due to the irresponsibility of its people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves. I mean, like you are, you need to be, like, so far gone. Yeah, be comfortable speaking in that way. Yeah, yeah, you, you. That's ghoulishly evil. I mean, it's just like you could come up with a version of that that would also probably sound effective, but to basically be like, look, the people have ****** ** voting. They've they've wrongly voted. Oopsie, poopsie. We'll do it for him. We'll figure out. I mean we'll take care of this again. United States policy, pretty much, you know? Yeah. All the time in perpetuity. Yeah. And it's it's it's good. Yeah. And and after the the bloody coup that that Kissinger and Nixon endorsed, Kissinger pushed to recognize Pinochet's coup government and offered economic aid. He pressured international lending organizations to lend money to the new Chilean government. Yeah. He sucks that this is a bad thing that he did. You can hear a lot more about it, and honestly, Kissinger was involved, but like the Dulles brothers were a much bigger part of this specific thing. So check that out in our Dulles Brothers episode. All this with Raquel Welch on his arm. Jill Saint John I love the way you actually the woman he does marry. Nancy McGuinness, who is also a fairly prominent person, is a huge fan of the overthrowing of the Chilean government, and his wife is like more ******** right wing than he is come to bed. Tell me about how you ignored the will of the Chilean voters, Henry. Yeah. So I don't know much about the working relationship Henry had with Jerry Ford, honestly. Like, they didn't spend a lot of time together. We're not going to delve super deep into it. There were like too much to talk about. Still, there is one thing I want to note about his relationship with with kids with Nixon. Like for the first several years that he's working with Nixon, he's desperate to go to Camp David anytime the president invites him. He's excited to go. But. Then when the Watergate thing is going on and Nixon feels isolated and alone, Kissinger spends like the whole Watergate hearing time jetting around the Middle East and stuff doing diplomacy. And Nixon begs him, like, do you want to come hang out at Camp David with me and Henry's like, oh buddy, I'd love to, but you know, sounds so great. I just got so much work. I'm swamped over here with stuff, you know? It's like such as Thermo. Gosh, it's amazing that there's a moment at this where you like. Ohh, man, **** he did you dirty. That's not. Yeah. You were such a good friend to him. A little bit of sympathy for addictions. Like, do you wanna come to summer Camp David with me? I can't. I could really use a friend. I broke my arm. I can't get any merit badges or anything this summer. My mom said so. Uh, man, it's amazing. So, yeah, there's so much to talk about. I, I will tell you, I will note that one of the first things that Henry did as Secretary of State for President Ford was to deliberately enable another genocide, which put him just one genocide away from earning a free coffee at the Pentagon Starbucks. Ohhh my gosh. So kind of he'll get. He'll geese close. He's close. He's close. We're going to talk about that, but, you know, we got to talk about right now. Hmm. Products and services that support this podcast. Play hey, including Starbucks. Commit 5 genocides and Starbucks will fund to six if it reduces the price of coffee bean, make sure it's 70. Mint Mobile offers premium wireless starting at just 15 bucks a month. And now for the plot twist. Nope, there isn't one. Mint Mobile just has premium wireless from 15 bucks a month. There's no trapping you into a two year contract. You're opening the bill to find all these nuts fees. There's no luring you in with free subscriptions or streaming services that you'll forget to cancel and then be charged full price for none of that. For anyone who hates their phone Bill, Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for just $15.00 a month. Mint Mobile will give you the best rate whether you're buying one or for a family. And it meant. Families start at 2 lines. 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A therapist can help you become a better problem solver, which can make it easier to accomplish your goals, no matter how big or small they happen to be. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, better help is a great. Option it's convenient, accessible, affordable, and it is entirely online. You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey, and if the therapist that you get matched with doesn't wind up working out, you can switch therapists at any time. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com/behind today to get 10% off your first month. That's better helpp.com/behind betterhelp.com/behind. My name is Erica Kelly and I am the host and creator of Southern Freight true crime. There are so many people that just have no idea about some injustices in the world and if you can give a voice to them, you can create change. To be able to do it within podcasting is just such a gift. I believe it was 18 months after I got on with speaker that I was making enough that I could quit my day job. It was incredible. I always felt like an ambassador for speaker, but that's because I'm passionate about podcasting. It's really easy to use. I always tell people I am so not tech. Took me 5 minutes to get comfortable with speaker, and when I find a new friend that has an incredible show, I want them to make money. I want them to be able to do what I did. Follow your podcasting dreams. Let's break your handle the hosting, creation, distribution, and monetization of your podcast. Go to spreaker.com. That's spreaker.com. Get paid to talk about the things you love with spreaker from iheart. Ohh, we're back. So in 1969, the US conspired with the Indonesian dictator Suharto to encourage the illegal annexation of West Papa through what was called the Act of Free choice. This was a shameless propaganda exercise which allowed the United States to pretend democracy. RA, RA RA, you get the idea. Behind the scenes support by the US at the UN allowed Suharto to solidify his control on West Papua. This led to four decades of genocidal policies which have killed huge numbers of the population. Population. Six years later, Suharto had another fun idea. E Timor was nearby and near the end of a 27 year long process of being decolonized by Portugal, having just been ruled pretty brutally in the name of capital, you won't be surprised to hear that the East Timorese people were somewhat sympathetic towards socialism. The leftist fretland fright, fright, Fretilin, Fretilin party began to gain ground as freedom grew near. In 1975 it had a brief civil war with the much smaller right. Wing Pro Indonesian party. This freaked out Portugal, who pulled their last people out of the country during the fighting. Seeing the territory abandoned, General Suharto felt he had an opportunity. He and others in the Indonesian military began to complain to the Americans that E Timor might be used as a base for dastardly communists to inspire secessionist movements in Indonesia over an yeah, it's just like, you know, E Timor seems like it's going to be really bad. Yeah, we got to kill them. We gotta get rid of them. Yeah, I don't like the side of this. Over in East Timor Franklin, the Socialist Party recognized the the fact that they were in danger. They had their ohh we were in danger moment. Yeah. And they declared their independence on November 28th, 1975 so they could ask for help from the United Nations. Everyone ignored them. Japan, a major investor in Indonesia twiddled her thumbs. Australia looked away. This left the United States as the only power that could potentially stop Indonesia from invading. Ohh does more? Does it do we do it? What? Yeah, we did it. Everything's good. Now they're doing great. They're flying cars. Yeah, yeah. How many times do we have to be the heroes? Yeah, another job well done for the United States. On December 6th, 1975, on the eve of the planned invasion, Gerald Ford and Henry Kissinger flew to Jakarta to meet with Suharto. The very next day, Indonesian land, air and naval forces invaded. The timing is predominant, predominant enough that people have debated ever since whether or not Kissinger and Ford gave Suharto the green light here too, from a write up in the nation. Kissinger, who does not find room to mention E Timor even in the index of his three volume memoir, has more than once stated that the invasion came to him as a surprise and that he barely knew of the existence of the Timorese question. He was obviously lying, but the breathtaking extent of his mendacity has only just become fully apparent with the declassification of a secret state department telegram. The document, which has been made public by the National Security Archive at George Washington University, contains a verbatim record of the conversation among Suharto, Ford and Kissinger. We want your understanding. If we deem it necessary to take rapid or drastic action, Suharto opened bluntly. We will understand and will not press you on the issue, Ford responded. We understand the problem you have and the intentions you have. Kissinger was even more emphatic, but had an awareness of the possible spin problems back home. It is important that whatever you do succeeds quickly, he instructed the despot. We would be able to influence the reaction if whatever happens happens after we return. If you have made plans, we will do our best to keep everyone quiet until the President returns home, micromanaging. Things for Suharto, he's he, he added. The President will be back on Monday at 2:00 PM Jakarta time. We understand your problem and the need to move quickly, but I am only saying it would be better if it were done after we returned. Worst case scenario, I'll just say I never said this and nobody will ever have a transcript. They said anything. I mean, to be scheduling it like a like a golf day, can you crack down on the independence and freedom of these people and engage in a genocidal war like once we're back, just like there's a lot going on 3:45 or like 4 on Monday. Would be great. Tuesday if you could wait, would be unbelievable for Tuesday would really help. Like that's a lot of time. Hmm. Yeah, I thought it was a workout, right? Yeah, there's a lot of US ******* and ******* Indonesia. I'm sorry. I'm not going to hear this gentleman. That's enough of that talk. Please. The greatest country on Earth. You do have that giant Indonesia and the United States shaking hands over a burning E Timor tattoo over your heart. Well, I would hate for that. That's speculation and please cut that out. Sophie, can we make a note that that should not be included in? The episode? Seems a little incriminating. So Suharto's troops when they invaded E to more, which they did, we're equipped with the finest US made weaponry under the Foreign Assistance Act. Such material could only be provided to nations who would use it exclusively for self-defense. When this was brought up to Suharto, and when this was brought up to Kissinger and he was asked whether or not selling arms to Suharto had violated the Act, Kissinger responded. It depends on how we construe it. Whether it is in self-defense or it is a foreign operation. Back in DC on December 18th and the meeting is minutes are now declassified. Kissinger admitted that he knew that he, that he and, you know, the United States were violating the statute from the nation. And even more sinister note was struck later in the conversation. When Kissinger asked Suharto if he expected a long guerrilla war. The dictator replied that there will probably be a small guerrilla war while making no promise about its duration. Bear in mind that Kissinger has already urged speech and dispatch urged speed and dispatch upon Suharto, Adam Malik, Indonesia's Prime Minister. At the time, later conceded in public that between 50,000 and 80,000 temporary civilians were killed in the 1st 18 months of the occupation. These civilians were killed with American weapons, which Kissinger contrived to supply over congressional protests and their murders were covered up by American diplomacy. So I mean, we did it again, we did it again, guys. It really, it really is like, it's it's like a like a serial killer who just gets very comfortable with killing, gets kind of cocky. About it starts leaving clues. But in this case, there's no cops chasing anyone. There's nobody who's really trying to solve the case. It's like if the Unabomber left his name on every package. Yeah. And everyone was like, this is OK a return address. Yeah. Ted Kazinsky, Shaq, 9. Roughly 300,000 E Timorese civilians, roughly half the population, were forced out of their homes and into camps during the fighting. By 1980. The death toll was at least 100,000, and possibly as high as 230,000. Thomas Meaney, writing in The New Yorker, has tried to make sense of this all. Kissinger's sign off on the Indonesian President Suharto's genocidal campaign in East Timor was meant to signal that America would unquestioningly reward those who had decimated communists within their reach. In retrospect, the notion that everything America did would be duly registered and responded to by its opponents and friends seems like an expression of geopolitical narcissism at the time. The 33 year old Senator Joe Biden accused Kissinger at a Senate hearing of trying to promulgate a global Monroe Doctrine that Kissinger is that guy to where repeatedly. Terrible people will be like, well, you're in the right here, but only because you're talking about Henry Kissinger. Yeah, right. I mean, yeah, he's like, yeah, it's like in the next episode we're going to have a moment where the CIA is a voice of reason to give you an idea of where things go and how many people have to be the voice of reason. I mean, it it just is like, he's like, cocky. I mean, it's just they're just no ***** given at this point to have. No, I mean, it's not like he's had a soul throughout all of this. But you would think that once you have a soul for such a long period of time, you would start to notice the absence of a soul. And at least start to act like you had a soul. Well, good news Gareth. Nothing like that ever happens. Ohh, ******* great. Yeah, we are. We're going to have fun in episode 6. But you know, now it's time to just chill out. You know, have a drink of just a nice sip of the blood of I don't know, E Timorese dissidents. And go watch the Theranos documentary to see Henry Kissinger get cocked by. Yeah, you need only only like, I forget who said it, but that's true. That's our hero. She's our hero. This psycho who was like, hey, yeah, you can, we can do this with your blood at Walgreens because she got Henry Kissinger involved. And and I mean just he's in. He's not it's not like he's not a genius. There's just not a lot of genius it takes to just be awful and indiscriminate. Yeah, he's just like the best weather networker of all time. Yeah. And here's the thing. Episode 6, We're going to talk about his political downfall because he does get his comeuppance, but it's from people who suck, maybe even worse, at least as bad as he does. And so there's no satisfaction in it, like, of course. And he's also, it's also like, I mean, Hitler had gotten assassinated by Hitler two who had been like, expanded the. Yeah. And it's also by people who are like, they're there because of him. Like, they like, he had to walk so they could run. Yes. Exactly. Yes, there's someone needs to paint a picture of, like, Henry Kissinger kind of on the bow of the Titanic holding up, right. Dick Cheney with his arms spread wide. That feels nice. That feels real nice, Henry, you know, so you love your form. Let me paint you. Kissinger walked so that Donald Rumsfeld could stagger, yes. Ohh, but that's gonna be part six. Wow. Till then, Dave. What? Gareth, you gotta be clickables to plug. I want to drink. Like Nixon. Yeah, we again. Look at what capitalism gets us tralia like. Yeah, we we will be invading the shores of Australia, searching for their WMD's, which we believe are North, SE, and West. You can go to dolloppodcast.com and I'll be also. Having stand up over there and you can go to Gareth Reynolds, com for those stand up dates and we're also touring America this summer. Sorry, we're touring the best country on Earth. Yeah, this summer and you can go to dollarpodcast.com for all that information. Now. I should note here y'all that that you guys have an ongoing, an ongoing argument over over whether or not gear is an appropriate nickname for you. Gareth and I felt like maybe we could bring in a negotiator to help us to help us deal with this question. So I'd like to introduce to the Paul. Doctor Henry Kissinger Oh my God, this is ohhh. I'm sorry I said all those horrible things. Getting the fine, then I think Gary works great. You look like a giddy little bit. Hmm. He's got his nice shorts on. He's got those nut huggers. You you can see the outline, you can see the whole bread basket. Looks like a baby bird in the nest now, but it becomes a Python when water starts. They should they should call me **** shouldn't they? Dick Nixon. Once the bombs hit the soil, I'll rip these babies. I really hope people stop listening. I so desperately I stopped listening and I'm talking. Alright, everybody alright, we'll see you on Thursday. Hi everybody, Robert Evans here and my novel after the revolution is available for preorder now from akpress.org. Now if you go to akpress.org you can find after the revolution just googleakpress.org. After the revolution you'll find a list of participating indie bookstores selling my book. And if you pre-order now from either of these independent bookstores or from a K press, you'll get a custom signed copy of the book, which I think is pretty cool. You can also pre-order it in physical or in Kindle form from Amazon. Pretty much wherever books are sold, so please Google AK, Press after the revolution, or find an indie bookstore in your area and pre-order it. You'll get a signed copy and you'll make me very happy. Hello, I'm Erica Kelly from the podcast Southern Fried true crime. And if you want to go from podcast fan to podcast host, do what I did and check out spreaker from iheart. I was working in accounting and hating it. Then after just 18 months of podcasting with Spreaker, I was able to quit my day job. Follow your podcasting dreams let's break our handle the hosting, creation, distribution and monetization of your podcast. Go to spreaker.com. That's spreaker.com. Want to say I don't know less? Listen to stuff you should know more. Join host Josh and Chuck on the podcast, packed with fascinating discussions about science, history, pop culture, and more episodes. Dive into topics like was the lost city of Atlantis Real? And how does pizza work? Say goodbye to I don't know. Because after listening to stuff you should know you will listen to stuff you should know on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, it's Ebony Monet, your co-host for the San Diego Zoo's Amazing Wildlife podcast. 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