Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.
Thu, 27 Aug 2020 19:56
One of the more deep and emotional episodes of Anything Goes. Emma talks through her recent struggles with low self-esteem and self-confidence. What causes these feelings, the impact it has on us and people around us, and how we can get to a point where we’re comfortable in our own skin. Plus, answering a bunch of questions on relationships, how to tell if you’re in love, and will Emma ever do the WAP dance?? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ramble no one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement. Plans from principal and visit us at principal.com business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit principal.com/disclosures. Hi guys. Welcome back to anything goes. I'm going to be straight up with you all. The universe was on one today. I woke up this morning. I felt good. I made myself breakfast. I went to a hair appointment. I was getting my roots done and like getting my whole head a different shade of blonde, which seems as though it would be a relaxing activity. It wasn't. My anxiety was so through the roof. I think it was partially because my phone died. And then I was forced to like sit with my thoughts for a few hours until I asked my hair person for a charger because it was like killing me that I didn't have my phone but I kind of want to talk about. A lot of things, because during my slight anxiety attack today, I realized. A lot of things. That have been really unhealthy about my mindset recently and like I really want to talk it through with you guys because. Even though this is about me and this is like, not, you know, I don't know what you guys are going through and what you guys are dealing with and all of that is so personal. But there might be parts of this that you guys need to hear because I know that I need to give myself advice today. I need to, like, reflect on myself. For a second. And like, really? Analyze why I'm behaving the way that I am and like. You know, put my ego aside for a second and, like, reflect. And so we're going to do that today and the main thing that I've been doing recently. Is. I've been being way too hard on myself y'all. And it doesn't really make sense, but. I think that it might be that I've been going on my phone too much. Going on Tik T.O.K too much. I don't know, but I'm finding myself. Pairing myself to like other people on social media constantly like. And it's super weird because I never, I never have this problem. I'm normally very content in in, you know, my skin. Or at least within the past few months, I feel like I've been very, like, content and happy in my own skin and, like, very confident and like, I've just been feeling really good. I mean, I had a rough patch before the good patch, but like, I don't know, I've just been doing so good. And that's why today I realized, like, Emma, why do you hate yourself? Like, I have been just ******** on myself. Constantly. OK, I'm talking about like. I'm in the car with my friends and I like looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like, and I I can't look or if I'm like looking, I'm like staring at myself in the mirror and like, picking apart, like my face, like, just like looking at it and like thinking about everything I hate about it. And. When I'm like around people, I'm like constantly thinking about how I'm looking from their point of view. It it's so weird. Like I'm I'm so hyper focused on my appearance. And. You know, I even had a little a little meltdown and I archived Instagram photos that I thought I looked ugly in. And. All of that and I don't understand what's wrong really. I really don't know. Like everybody in my life is so loving towards me. My parents are so loving, my friends, so loving towards me, so supportive, so complimentary towards me. Like I don't understand the problem. And I wonder if other people can relate to this. Why do we as humans? Decide to have. Low self esteem when there's no reason to, like am I. You know what are normal? Let's let's think for a second. What are normal things that make me insecure? For me it's like acne. That used to make me really insecure. You know, like if I was bloated or if, you know, I hadn't been, like, eating the best that week and I feel like I'm not taking care of myself and like, that could make me feel, you know? Kind of like **** although it shouldn't, because we're human beings and we can do whatever the **** we want and we should never beat ourselves up about anything. But like, those are the normal things that, like, make me feel bad about myself. But it's weird, because. I've been taking care of my skin. I've been, you know, eating well and taking care of, like, my body. You know what I mean? Like, all of that in. And that's why I'm so stumped as to why I've been so hard on myself recently. I really do not know. I really, really genuinely don't know. And I think it's just a matter of I need to make a conscious decision right now. To like turn that around. Because guess what? It's not fun to be around. Like I was thinking about it today in my chair when I was getting my hair done and I was like, Emma, do you think that people want to be around you when you're complaining about how you look all the time? When you look ******* normal. There's nothing wrong. And there's no way that anything could go wrong, because the exact body that you're in is like the body that you're in, and you should love it for exactly what it is and that exact moment. What is your issue? Like? There's no way that that's fun to be around. It's not charming to be around someone who, like, looks in the mirror and is like, yeah, I don't want to see that. Like, that's not charming. And if my friends were doing that, I'd be like, hey, don't do that. Like, what the ****? And that's exactly what my friends do. And my family, they're like, I'm a stop. Like, what's your issue? You know? And like, I don't know. I don't know. And I'm making the conscious decision starting now. To turn that energy around, because to be honest, I don't think that it's some sort of like thing that can't be changed. I think all it takes is just me making the conscious decision that I'm not going to think like that anymore. The problem was is that it happened slowly and. Like, next thing, I knew it. I realized, Emma, you were, like, not happy in your own skin right now, you know? And that's a hard thing to admit to yourself, to be like, you hate yourself right now. You know? It's hard to admit that to yourself because you're like, no, like, I'm fine, whatever, whatever. But. I truly realized that, like, it's it's not something that I it's that's not a way I wanna live. You know, I don't want to live like that. And it it did, it got slipped, it slipped under the rug and I didn't notice for a while. But. The thing is. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing any of us can do about the body that we were born into and the life that we were born into. It's about making the most of it. And. Sorry. It's about making the most of it, being proud of it, being grateful for it. And, like, thinking that you're hot **** because you are. The thing is. I've had a lot of like. Humbling experiences recently? Like a lot of you know, this might be part of it. A lot of like decent, like really, really great and amazing things. I said decent, but then I was like, that's not even remotely the right word. Like I've had some really great things happen to me recently that like, you know, are really good and make me feel really good and like, you know, some accomplishments. I've accomplished things that I've like wanted to for a long time and. You know, I've met people in my life that, like, I really love and care about and like things like that, and like, that's the type of stuff that, like, I should be so excited about and that I should be celebrating. But I weirdly think that I as a coping mechanism. And beating myself up. To try to balance out the like positive things that are happening in my life. Everybody is happy, everybody is healthy. All of that. There's nothing for me to be upset about. I'm happy I'm healthy on that. I mean, I'm happy, I'm happy. I'm like not. I feel pretty good. But like, I'm healthy. Everybody that I love is healthy. In safe and. You know, things that are really things that are really exciting are happening to me and I think that my brain is like, Emma, this is too much good stuff happening. I'm about to **** it up right now. Yeah, I'm gonna **** it up and I'm going to make you have really bad self esteem issues for the next two weeks. I literally think that's what my brain did. And. I'm making the conscious decision to turn that off. And I encourage you guys who are dealing with something similar, whether you're dealing with it right now in the present moment, you're going to deal with it in the future or you've dealt with it in the past and you're thinking maybe, you know, how could I have handled that differently? I think that it's really making a conscious decision to be like, you know what I. Have decided. Then I'm going to appreciate myself. Because The thing is is that that leads to so much happiness everywhere else in life. You get to live in the moment. When you think like that, you're funner to be around, more fun. But I like to say funner. You're funner to be around when you feel good about yourself. You're a better friend. You can care about others more deeply. You can empathize with others more deeply when you. Love yourself. And like, those are all things that are so important to me. A few episodes ago I talked about how like one of my main core values was like keeping strong relationships with the people around me. The problem is when I'm having these issues, when they self esteem, like I can't be there for others like I normally AM. And that's natural, that's normal. You know, you're not always going to be completely emotionally available. I mean that's impossible, you know? But. It's a challenge, guys. It really is. It's really a challenge. But I really. I mean, I've never really consciously been like, hey, Emma, you're gonna love yourself now. Like it's time you have nothing. To hate about yourself. You're a good person and you treat others well. And you know you do your absolute best. And. You know all of that. I've never told myself, like, let's do better here. I normally, like, do things to make myself feel better, such as like spend time with other people or, you know, put my time and energy into taking care of my body and all that. Like, I I do that instead. But I think that, weirdly, this time it's like, not that easy for me. I also think that. A big part of it is that. You know, I'm at a place right now where. I've struggled with a lot of things that made me insecure for long time. You know, one of them being acne and one of them being like I was taking this medication for a period of time a few months ago during the winter. And this medication was making me really puffy in my face and swollen constantly. And during that time I. Was super insecure because. I felt like. Ugly and like actually funny story during that time when I was taking that medication and my face was really swollen. And I had a bunch of acne and all that and it was just like really uncomfortable and like, I just didn't feel good because of the medication. Like someone that I respected their opinion a lot at the time. Now I don't at all they. Like said that I was. Like super unattractive behind my back and I found that out a few months later after like I you know, I like me and this person drifted apart and we weren't we weren't tight anymore. But like after that I found out that like that person was like saying that I was ugly behind my back and. This was a person that like. I was really close to you for a decent amount of time and you know, it hurt me really bad that, like, they would say that behind my back and that like, they didn't, they didn't really even want to. Yeah, so that really damaged me. Because it was like, this person knew I was on this medication. They knew that, like, my face was swollen from it. They knew that it was making me really insecure. Yet, like, they would say that behind my back and like, that really ****** me up really bad, like to this day. And I think it's made me. Like recently with this whole like random self esteem issue, that's kind of come back up for me and I I worry, right? I am constantly thinking about how I look around my friends and stuff like that because I'm constantly thinking that, like, what if my friends think that I'm ugly? Because that's happened to me before, where somebody who I thought was a friend or somebody who cared about me a lot. Because that's what they told me. Like, was like, ******* calling me ugly behind my back to, like somebody that, like, they didn't even know that well, too, which is like, even weirder, you know, like going around and like, talking about me behind my back. And the only thing you have to say about me is that I'm ugly. And we were like really close. I mean, it was just like mind blowing to me. I mean, like, I wish it wasn't true, but that's like kind of coming back up to haunt me. I don't know why that hurt me so bad, but it did. And randomly, that's been haunting me a lot. And so I think that that's why all these insecurities are coming out in front of my friends and stuff like that because I'm already kind of low. Self seems already kind of low for no apparent reason. And then, you know, randomly my brain is like returning to that and, you know, thinking about that time when that person said that about me and I found that out. And that's just like weirdly on the forefront of my mind. Even though that person is completely not in my life anymore and like, doesn't matter in their opinion doesn't matter. And they're obviously not the best person ever. If they're calling me ugly, you know what I mean? I don't know. But regardless, like that **** stinks and I think what I need to. Really really put my time and energy and focus into right now is like. Realizing that it's not about what other people say. Like who cares if somebody says that you're ugly? Like who gives a ****? It's about what you think when you look in the mirror. How do you feel about yourself as a person as? You know, all of that. The other thing is too looks really don't matter that much. Like, think about somebody that you love so much, you probably think that they're very beautiful to you, even if they're not fitting whatever the **** standard that society has. Blah blah blah blah blah. Shut the **** ** about that. It doesn't matter. Like people become beautiful to you and become attractive to you when you care and love them, when you care about them and when you love them. That's just how it works. So at the end of the day, like, let's say you're dating somebody and like they. I don't know, like something. Conventionally unattractive happens to them. They get a ****** haircut or. Like they get a full buzz cut. Umm or? I don't know, like they have like a. Allergic reaction all over their face or something. Like, are you going to think they're any less attractive when you're, like fully in love with this person? No, you don't give a ****. And the same goes other way around. If you have the right people in your life, they're not going to be judging you for your looks, for ***** sake. It's just. Insane to me. And there's some people in your life where you know you don't have that feeling towards them, where you don't love them like that. And that's normal too. And that's fine as long as they don't know that you know that just doesn't need to be discussed with that person. And that's that. But moral of the story is here. I'm making the conscious decision to only listen to myself. Look at myself in the mirror and love whatever the **** is there that day. Bloated, not bloated, breaking out, crying, laughing. Tan. Not tan. Whatever it is. I'm going to make the most of it and it's hard. It's hard to come to terms with that. It's hard to be happy with exactly the body that you're in. But, you know, The thing is, is that I remember as a kid, I mean, I've always been very, very critical of myself and very hard on myself. About everything. Right. Just like by nature, like I've always been like, I'm a you suck. Like that's just the constant voice in my head. And I think that's very standard for human nature, but I remember feeling like that constantly and then I remember. And adult telling me you're gonna grow out of that it it gets so much easier when you're older. And I was always like, what? Like, what do you how is it possible? Like, I feel like I'm always going to be like this, but ever since I had this realization today at the hair salon that, like, I need to love the body that I'm in. I've realized like. The bigger picture, which is that? Yeah, like who cares? Who ******* cares? If you have the right people in your life, then. Loving yourself is so much easier, but also it does need to come from within, and I think it is something that you need to find within yourself. And that's something I'm still figuring out. And I'm going to do my absolute best to convince myself that I'm the hottest person I've ever seen every single day when I wake up. Is that realistic? No. But I'm going to do my absolute best and try to have the best success rate with that that I can. Because we all deserve that. God, I'm getting like emotional. I like got choked up for a second. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted. I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically, for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. Listen. We have to be living in the moment here. We got one life. This is what we get. We need to make the most of it, and. Let's all really, really make an effort. To like. Really, really care for ourselves. And I think that that's such underrated advice. I really like. I know that. Like. Everybody's always like love yourself, Lala. It's so not easy and sometimes there's no reason for why you are not. Loving yourself in the way that you should. And normally when people say this **** I'm like, shut up. Like, shut up. I'm always saying that, but I also think it's because I'm so in denial of the fact that I. I'm really hard on myself. And it's not just with my appearance. Like, I've been really hard on myself about so many different things, like, you know, constantly thinking that I'm annoying when I'm around people, which causes me all this unnecessary anxiety and causes me to, like, not like, say things when I, like, want to say things. And like, I'm always, like, backtracking and be like, I don't. I shouldn't say that. Oh, I shouldn't say that. Oh my God, that was annoying, what I said, like, whatever. That is so annoying to be around people like confidence, baby, we don't want any of that. But I'm doing that right now, and that's not even me. That is not me. But The thing is. Addressing it head on, noticing what you're doing and realizing that you want to make a change so that you can have a happier life is one of the hardest things to do. You know how uncomfortable it is for me right now to say. That I've been. Insecure recently and that I've been like kind of annoying like with the way that I'm like. Backtracking everything that I'm saying and like, triple thinking everything that I'm saying and quadruple thinking, you know how I look every five seconds. Like, I literally wore makeup to dinner the other night and I went into the bathroom and I was like, Oh my makeup looks like really blotchy. And I just took out a makeup wipe from my pocket that I coincidentally brought. It wasn't a coincidence. I knew that I was going to have a freak out about my makeup, and I took my whole makeup off in the bathroom because I was feeling so insecure about it. Who gives a ****? Like, why? Like why did I I went in the bathroom like 10 minutes to take my makeup off. That's just like not living freely like we need to be living freely here. And I mean, The thing is like. Obviously, like, you know, it's checks and balances. Like it's not like you're gonna be perfectly confident all the time. Whatever. But I think that truly loving yourself and everything that you're doing and all of that is just so crucial for having it. A good life because I just, I'm I'm noticing that like it's affecting everything for me. It's affecting like my anxiety, you know? It's affecting like my friendships and my relationships and my ability to be there for others and like I'm done. It's embarrassing to admit that you've been slipping, but I think that that's the first step to fixing it, and so I'm gonna be working on that. I encourage you guys to work on that too. And also, you know, be proud of the things that you create, whether it's a homework assignment or a project or it's something for work or it's a art, something you painted something or whatever. You sung a song. I don't care being proud of those things, because I am never proud of things that I create rarely. And that's just so sad. Like, I work hard on, you know, these things and I deserve to feel proud of them, but I never give myself that. I never let myself feel proud of myself and I'm done with that. I'm going to start being proud of my damn self for what I do and hold myself accountable for this **** that I don't do with the **** that I do wrong. And that's just the end of that miss *****. I really. I really. And making this a goal, and I really hope that you guys do too. God. The other thing I've been struggling with is like focusing on. My past. Like, I feel like I've just been thinking about, like, my past decisions and all that and like, just regretting things that I've done. And, you know, I talked about this with, I believe, my bestie Olivia. I think I talked about this my friend Olivia, but I don't remember who I talked about with, so I couldn't. I don't know. It doesn't really ******* matter at all. And you know, she was like Emma, like, listen, like. We are who we are because of our past. We would be nothing without it. And you know, you can have done things that you don't, that you're not proud of. You know what I mean? Are things that you don't feel good about, are things that you like, places that you ****** **. But like, where would you be without those things? Like, I would not be the person I am without every single thing that I've done. Everything. And it's actually funny because like. I actually recorded. So the episode you're listening to now was supposed to be a different episode where I talked about I told you guys a story about like this week that I had. I had this, like terrible week. Last week where like my plumbing, like basically the plumbing in my house had to be turned off, had to go to a hotel I like the same weekend I like got hives and like on my face during dinner and like all this **** happened, right? And I recorded a whole podcast about it. And like I also needed to get my nails done super last minute while I had to like be at my home for the plumber. It was like this whole mess of a week, right? And everything went wrong about it, but I listened to it and. I sounded set like such a whiny little brat, right? I was just, like, complaining, complaining, complaining for the whole episode about this terrible week that I had. And, you know, I listened to it back and I was like, Emma, you don't sound good here. Like, you sound like a ******* spoiled brat, you idiot. You're just like, you're talking about how you had to get your nails done for a shoot and how that was stressing you out. Was that stressful for me? Yes, it was. And it was it like a tight time crunch? Yes. But talking about those things, Emma is not the right message to spread. And so I listened to that and I was like. I'm not proud of that at all, and I felt like **** about myself when I listened to it 'cause. I was like, I you sound like a brat, and I know where I was coming from, which was not a bad place, but I also, like, wasn't proud of it, and I wasn't proud of the way that I sounded in it because I sounded like a ******* brat. And. It hurt my ego a little bit, and I was like, damn, like, that sucks. Like, I thought I was better than that, you know? I thought that I was better at conveying a message better than that and, like, not making it seem like I'm some sort of ***** right? That just, like, is complaining about dumb stuff that doesn't matter at all to anybody but me. But I alas, I ******* sat down and recorded a whole episode about it, and it was awful. It was awful to listen to for me. And so we're scrapping it. We're doing this one instead, but. I mean, like, in the moment I was like, am I? You suck for that. Like that was just a ****** episode, you little stupid *****. But then I started thinking about it more and I was like. That's a super useful lesson, like me complaining about things that don't really matter. Is not cute. And I've never thought about that before. You know what I mean? I always feel like venting and whatever is like healthy and normal. But I think that like and it is, but I think that to a certain extent and like. You know. Everybody has such unique struggles that unless it's helpful for others, I'm not gonna share it. You know what I mean? The story that I told and the things I was complaining about it wasn't helping anybody. So what's the point of that? But that's something that I learned. I never thought about that before, and me listening to that episode back made me realize that, and that is super valuable. So now I'm trying to look at it like instead of being mad at yourself for recording a whole episode that, like, is not useful and just made me sound like a ******* spoiled brat. Instead of like, being angry at myself for that, I'm going to learn from that. And only share useful things moving forward. Something that's funny, something that's interesting, something that's educational, something that's helpful, like anything of that sort, that's just has a positive impact. I don't want to be like, you know, spreading like any kind of negativity at all. And I feel like that episode gave me that energy on accident, and I didn't even mean to do that. And there it was. And like, you know, I'm. Looking at it now in a way where I'm like proud of myself for realizing that, and I'm proud of myself for like. Not putting that out because I wasn't proud of it. And you know, it was a learning experience. And The thing is, you have to learn from this stuff, not beat yourself up over it. And I think that that's like. Huge. You know what I mean? Me recording that ****** podcast episode that made me seem like a spoiled brat. Taught me something and is going to. Change who I am forever. It's a small little thing, but it's going to change who I am forever. It's like if you kiss somebody that you wish you didn't kiss. It's like that seems like it's just a stupid thing that like. Doesn't matter, and it seems like inconsequential. It just like, sucks to think about like, let's say you like. You, like, had a crush on an ******* and you, like, kissed him and you're like, ah, I wish that I, like, didn't have that on my list. I think most people can relate to that feeling. What did you learn from that though? You learn that you want to hire your standards next time. That's a really random example, but I just like I've been. I've like talked about that with people recently, so it's all my mind, but. Like? You learned something from that experience. You know what I mean? And it didn't go for nothing. And anybody who is going to judge you for the things that you've done that you're not proud of yourself doesn't understand the big picture, which is that. That makes that made you who you are. And. That's just that ************. That's all I got on that. I mean, really. I think that we all need to be so much easier on ourselves, so much more loving towards ourselves. And make that a priority right now. Let's all change our mindset. It's a conscious decision to be like, I'm going to have a better relationship with myself starting right now, and I'm going to do everything I can to make that possible because it's just you and you. You're working with yourself here, and it's not easy, and I get that and it's a process, but. The first step is to become aware of the fact that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself. And then you can start taking steps to fix it because you are in the driver's seat. I am in the driver seat right now. This is totally in my control and if I'm motivated enough I can fix it. And I will and so will you guys, if you guys are struggling with something similar, if you are down the line or whatever. So I really hope that you know that is something that you know either you guys can relate to. Whatever. I hope that it was useful. That's always my goal. And if you guys are going through a similar thing, I just want you to know that I'm here for you. We're in this thing together. It doesn't matter who the **** you are, where you live, how many siblings you have, how many toenails you have. I don't give a ****. Everybody struggles with this **** and it really sucks to see yourself in a spot that you're not proud of. I'm not proud of where my head's at right now. I'm not. At all. But it took me having a meltdown about it to realize that I'm going to make a change. And I mean, for ***** sake, I could wake up tomorrow and it could be better, and I could wake up a week from now and it'd be completely gone in a ******* memory. And that's exciting to me. And that should be exciting to you guys too. This stuff is not like. Maybe it'll take more time, maybe it won't, but it's exciting to know that we have the control to change that stuff. Let's get into questions. Sorry, I was drawing my mouth. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visitdrinkcircle.com/emma that's drinkcirkul.com/emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. OK, I'm going to answer some questions now that do not relate to this topic because I feel like it so. I'm literally just going to do like a roulette where I just like scroll my finger and then stop on one. Somebody said, hey am. I've been having so many mental breakdowns and identity crisises these past weeks and I don't know what I need to do to make myself feel better. Is there anything other than therapy that can help me lighten my mood and enjoy life? Love you in the podcast. Love you so much. I did touch on a lot of that just now. So, like, I feel like, but I do want to talk about identity crisis because I definitely have these all the time, especially recently. And I mean, even right now, like even right now, I think I might be kind of having one. Just trying to figure out like who am I? Trying to get back in touch with that, you know what I mean. To be honest, I think it really comes down to like. Talking it out with yourself and having a real conversation with yourself, checking in with yourself. I never do this. I avoid this at all costs. I hate it. I hate like being in my own mind by myself. Because what happens cripplingly. Terrible anxiety. And I think that's because I avoid like. Having alone time in my own brain, sometimes being alone totally fine for me, but being alone in silence. Consciously thinking to myself and talking to myself. Avoiding that at all costs, but I think that's really, really important because. I think that. You need to figure out. What your goals are for yourself. And you can also, you can write it down. Journal, make a list. I did this today. I made a list of all the things that were bugging me and all the things that were making me really anxious and all the things that I was doing that were hateful towards myself. I wrote them all down. And then on another page I wrote down a bunch of things that. Like I want to improve on and that I want to see myself do it. It could be anything. It could be picking up a hobby, it could be ways that I want to speak to myself in my own mind. Things like that just wrote them all down and that really helped me. Somebody said what's something really embarrassing that's happened to you with a guy like an embarrassing guy story. OK. I'm thinking of 1. This is kind of a lighter, funnier story. So basically, I had been talking to this guy for a really long time, right? Like a really long time. But only over text, never FaceTime, nothing. We'd only texted and to be honest, I was very intimidated by this guy because he was like. Really cool to me. And like. Somebody who I, like, weirdly admired, not even weirdly admired, like, genuinely admired. This person was like, holy ****. Like, this person's really cool to me. Like, they have a really cool, like, they're just cool. Like, it was like scary to me and I was. So I was intimidated by this person for sure. And we texted for a really long time and I was, like scared of this person. They actually had asked me to hang out one time. And I lied to them and told them that I had a fever. For like a whole week. And refused to hang out with them out of fear. And then they actually ended up going on a trip for a really long time and so then we couldn't hang out for a while anyway and we just texted while they were gone and it was interesting and fun and by the time. He got back from his trip. I was like virtually in love with him. Without even. Really knowing him at all. And I didn't know him at all at that point, and he didn't really know me either. But I think that we both kind of had like a. Like, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I don't know. I think we just had a feeling that we would. Click pretty well, I don't know, but. Basically. After this whole month of us talking. He gets home from his trip and he's like, it's time to hang out. And at this point I'm like, **** I already put this off. Like a month ago before you left on your trip saying that I had a fever and I didn't have one and that was a lie. And now I've been pushing this off and now there's all this build up because we've been talking for like a month, a month and a half and now I'm really nervous because I was nervous before but I didn't really Care now there's more feeling involved because I'm like, oh **** like I've been talking to this guy for like a month over text and like now I have to meet him. And it was like texting every single day, like not one day that we didn't text. Towards the end of the like, the so like. And we were very excited to meet each other. And like that to me was like so much pressure. I was like, oh **** I need to be like, perfect for this guy. OK, so it's that night. I'm calling everybody. I'm texting everybody. I'm like, Oh my God, I'm so scared. I'm so scared we're hanging out one-on-one. I'm like, this is my worst nightmare. I am so terrified right now. I have no idea how I'm going to act. I was like. There's no way I'm gonna be able to, like, act normal here. I'm gonna be awkward. I really hope this goes well. Umm. So I'm getting ready. I'm freaking out, freaking out on the phone with like everybody, like, screaming me like I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it, cannot do it. Oh no, I can't do it. I'm weird. I have a fever again. Like I cannot do it. And then I remember I went, I was like walking up my stairs. I remember it so vividly because it was like. It was very vivid to me. And he calls me, he facetimes me and I'm like, no, no. No, no. No. No. No. I was so scared and I was like, alright, let's go, let's do it. So I answered the call and I I don't even know. I think he was going to get food or something. So he was like asking me about it, like what do you what I wanted or something like that. And when I tell you guys I could not get one sentence out, like it might it, this might be it had to be their moment, y'all. But like I he was like. OK, I think I'm gonna go to this restaurant. Is that cool? And I was like, hmm, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. I know, yes. And then he was like, oh, what do you want to eat? And I was like, ohh, maybe like, ah, man, Mom. Like, maybe like, have have you ever, have you heard that they have the pizza there? That sounds good. Like y'all did not get one sentence out properly. The entire phone call. I hang up. I sit on the floor, and I'm like, Emma, you just ****** that up so ******* bad. This guy is not even going to show up. He probably thinks you're so weird you literally couldn't get a sentence out, you freak. Like, I was so embarrassed and I mean, he ended up coming over. The whole thing was fine. Umm. But. Seriously embarrassing. Don't know if that scenario was ever discussed. So I don't know. I don't know if that was something that like. Only I was aware of, or if they were aware of also, but super Cringy and sad. I really felt bad for him. I'm actually surprised he showed up so mad. Kudos to him for showing up after that. So. That was a really funny embarrassing boy story. Hope you guys enjoyed that. OK, somebody just said do the *** dance. If you guys don't know what the *** dance is, it is a tick tock dance trend that is going absolutely viral on the Tik T.O.K platform. So here's the thing. How do I put this? I will never do the *** dance. Ever. Here's the reason. I cannot. Find. The bone in my body that would allow me to shake my *** on the Internet. Listen, nothing against anybody who does. Do whatever the **** you want. It is none of my business. And that is true. But you will never see me shake my *** on the Internet. Not to mention, I don't really even have one. So that's kind of like that's system error right there. Like I don't have one, so. That kind of complicates things too. You know? It's like, well. Don't have an ***? So. How am I supposed to? Figure that one out. You know what I mean? Anyway, we'll not be doing the *** dance. It is funny though, because I'm like, seeing, like, people do this dance and it's just like, listen, I'm not judging anybody. I don't wanna like. This is not like ******** on anybody or judging anyone at all. I really don't care. It's everybody's business, is their business. It's none of my business, but it is crazy to me. That, like that, is a dance trend. It blows my mind. And like, seeing, like, really like grown adults doing it is just so funny to me. And it's just like bizarre. There's nothing wrong with it. There's no, I'm not judging anybody for it. But it is very bizarre to me and I hope you guys know what I'm saying. Listen, if I if I could do that dance, I would, I might try it just for my own personal kind of. Enjoyment, if you know what I mean. But when it comes to that being on the Internet, no promises on my end here. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma, somebody said. When you started your YouTube, did you fear what people would think in your hometown or at your school? I want to go after my dreams but don't really have the confidence and fear people's opinions and judgment. Thank you. If you answer this, of course I am answering it. I was super scared. Luckily for me, I started YouTube during the summer and I literally didn't hang out with anybody the entire summer. I think I hung out with one person. And, like, she knew about it and she was probably judging me deep down, which is totally fine, but she was nice about it to my face and that's all that matters. The thing is, is that. You know, what I did was that I just didn't tell anyone. I just didn't tell anyone and I just started doing it and nobody knew about it. And then eventually people figured it out and found it. But the truth is, like, people weren't really that judgmental. You know? They do. They say **** behind your back, yes. But like. It doesn't matter because there's a bigger picture. And the bigger picture is these people that you're around right now in high school you're gonna be. Away from in four years or less, whereas like pursuing a passion that is a lifelong journey and that is a lifelong. Thing that brings you joy if you decide to do it for your whole life, whatever that passion may be. Think about the bigger picture. And I think that that really helps, because that's kind of where I was at. I was like, OK, am I gonna get a few dirty looks in the hallway? Possibly. Am I gonna get laughed at? Possibly. Are people gonna say that I'm doing this for nothing? Possibly. But I don't care because there's a bigger picture here. And if it works. Then look who's going to be laughing now. You know what I mean? It's like, who ends up laughing when, you know you succeed at that goal? Amen. Ohh this is such a good question. Oh my God. I love this question. I almost want to do a ******* full episode on it, but I won't because I talk about relationships and dating and love too often. But it's just something that fascinates me so much and like, consumes so much of my mind as a teenager that I cannot stay away from the topic. I think that's super common. Like, I don't know what it is about me, but like, I'm obsessed with like, relationships, not like even necessarily my own, but like other peoples and like analyzing their relationships and like, I just love that ****. Really. I'd be a relationship therapist. There wasn't a you tuber, and I I mean that, but alas, here we are. I wonder if it's. I wonder where it stems from, to be honest. But. How do you know if you're in love? You know I OK, so. It's crazy because I think that you think. You're in love multiple times before you actually are. And I think it takes being out of the situation to realize. That. So the first time I thought I was in love. In retrospect. I think that I. May have been. But. It was so not reciprocated. That. I don't even know if it counts. Like I I was, I was very in love with this person. Like the first time I really was in love with somebody. But The thing is, is that. They. Treated that love so badly and that like for constant forgiveness and unconditional. Like they were not unconditional with me. The thing about love is that it's unconditional. You know that it's love when it is that way. When you, like, look at somebody. And you're like you could literally. Do anything, you could say anything. Whatever, and I will still love you regardless. That is when you, like, truly love Someone Like You could. I mean, obviously if they're like a ******* ******* like, that's different. But I'm saying, like, let's say somebody came to you and was like, I'm like feeling really bummed out. Like I need your help if that's a no brainer for you. That's step one. If somebody. Doesn't look so good that day and you still love them just the same. That's unconditional. That is another check. If. You would literally go to the ends of the earth for that person. Like if you would do anything, drop anything for them. That's unconditional love. That's love to me as well. I think that it's rare. To feel that feeling towards someone where you're like, I would do anything for this person and I would go to the ends of the earth to help them if they were in need or work things out with them. I would never give up on them unless like, you know, sometimes love fades and that's totally normal and healthy and it sucks *** but it does happen. But I think that. If two people unconditionally love each other. And they're in love. I think that there's very, very few things that could get in the way of that, because when you love somebody that deeply, you will do anything to keep that relationship as strong as you possibly can. Are you going to argue sometimes? Of course. Are you going to **** heads on things? Maybe. Are you going to have communication problems sometimes? Of course, like these, all these things are all normal. It doesn't mean you're not in love or that your love for this person isn't unconditional, but it's about how you handle it and your motivation, and you're like, drive to fix it. Like the thing that I realized was in the past I never really like was concerned about maintaining my relationships in their in their health. Because I was kind of not. I didn't love the person enough, I don't think. To like, fully care about, like. Keeping the relationship as healthy and strong as possible like I was more like. Focused on myself and my ego in these relationships, and I wasn't as focused on like. The other person and like keeping my relationship with them as healthy as possible. Does that make sense? Like I was thinking about like, well, I don't want to bring that up to them because like, **** them, they don't deserve that. You put your ego aside when you're in love with somebody, you put your ******* everything aside and you like. You're just like fully there with and for that person, and like you don't think about anything else. You don't think about. Talking to anyone else, if you're in a relationship and you're dating, you don't think about whatever and listen. You can think that you're in love. 100 times and you probably won't be. In my opinion. This is all my opinion. In my experience. I've thought I was in love before, but that's just because I'm ******* sensitive it. I didn't realize what real love felt like until I did actually ******* feel it. And then I was like, wait, that is actually the craziest thing that I've ever felt in my life. It's very, very different. And to be honest, I think that real true in love. True love, feeling for someone else. Is something that. I believe is more rare. Then we all let on. Don't get me wrong, though. Like, you know, you you could have a great relationship with somebody that you maybe aren't even in love with, but you like, love them and you think that it's like working and it's fine, but like, there's this different feeling when you're in love with someone. Like it is a very different feeling. It's so much more selfless. Like you don't give a **** but there's no ego in it. That's the big thing. If somebody's like competitive with you in a relationship and stuff like that and like, you know, competing with you or judging you for things or like whatever, that is not being in love. That is like you might love the person, but you're not in love and. If there isn't like a crazy amount of mutual respect and all of that, it's not real love. Like, it's a very, very, very sensitive, very touchy, very special thing. And honestly. The thing about when you're really in love with somebody is that you'll also know because you're going to be really scared of it, I think. You're going to be like, this is really, really terrifying to me. You're going to be very scared and you're going to think that you're dying because you're like, why do I feel this feeling towards this person? It's such an overwhelming feeling. That. You feel like? You're dying when you're feeling it like you literally feel like you just want. Lay in a bed and, like, stare at a ceiling for like, days on end. Like it's almost like an. It's a very emotionally exhausting feeling when you're in love with somebody, I think. And. The last thing I want to say about being in love is that. You can't even fathom doing anything that would hurt them. Like the thought of you cheating on them like makes you sick. Like, even thinking about like the fact that you could do that because you wouldn't, but the fact that, like, you could do that. And and the fact that like that would ruin the whole thing, like you have a almost a phobia of ruining it because you're so. In love with that person and you just want to do you never want to hurt them even a little bit. And like the thought of hurting them at all, like literally makes you want to burst into tears. It's an extreme feeling. But it's so special and I believe that everybody feels that at some point in their life, one way or another. And. And it really is special. And I think that you can feel it multiple times in your life, too. I I don't think that that just happens once. I think you can feel it multiple times. I think you might, you might just feel it once, you know, you might feel it with your family. Although we're talking about in love. But. Which I don't think you're usually in love with. Like your I mean, you love your family, but you're not, like, in love with your family. That's weird. And incest. You could be in love with a friend, though, in a way too. Like, I think that that can kind of go both ways, like friend. But I do think that there's something to be said for relationships and the emotional intensity, like the intensity and the fear when you feel that **** is like, really, it's really intense. I could literally talk about that all day, but I will stop because I bet you guys are like, I must shut up with the sappy ****. Shut up. Somebody asked me, how do you compliment boys? I always compliment. I don't know. That's a good question. We need to have a male on this podcast so that we can ask. I don't know, I think like with girls. As long as you're not complimenting something that's like rude, if you're like haha, nice ***. Like, you can't really go wrong with complimenting. Like, I feel like as long as you're being respectful about any compliment, it's good. But I know that with guys it's harder because it's not like you can be like, Oh my God, you look so pretty today. I I feel like for me with guys, I'm. I will say like if it. I mean you can just be like, Oh my God. Like you can call them on their outfit, of course if you like it or if they don't have a good outfit you could be like, Oh my God like your hair looks really good today. Oh my God. You just look so vibrant today. You look so good today. It's awkward, though. Complementing guys is really awkward. I don't know, because you can't be like, wow, you look so handsome. Like, what the ****? Eat. I don't know that one. Y'all summoned me on that one. Once you're like, dating somebody, it's easy because you can be like, Oh my God. You look so good, like, whatever. And it's like, easy, but like, when you're like, not dating somebody, just like a friend or something, it's like a weird balance where there's not really words in the dictionary for it, but you can just tell them, Oh my God, you look good today, King. I don't know. Somebody said tips on how to avoid buying clothes, thinking that you like them but then you never end up wearing them. It makes me feel guilty because I just wasted my own or my parents. Money thinks I'm I love you. Love you too. I used to do this all the time, and what I've actually figured out is that every time I'm going to buy a piece, I come up with three outfits in my head that I could wear it with. And if I can't come up with three, I'm not going to buy it unless it's like a crazy statement piece that, like, I'm obsessed with in that I'm literally going to frame or something. I don't do it. I think of three outfits in my head that I could wear it. With stuff that I already have or stuff that I could easily get. And I think that really narrows things down, because I think a lot of the times, you know, you have like, something where you're like, well, like, this is cool, but like, I don't know, I'd wear it. If you can come up with three outfits for it, you're probably gonna end up wearing it. If you can't, you probably won't be able to. God bless you. Somebody said you're someone who is really raw on here with your past on social media, but do you ever from time to time get anxious, slash panics from it? How do you handle this type of situation? I love you. Stay safe. Love you so much. Umm. I do get anxious about it, you know, because, you know, there's people that I talk about. Like, there's a story, you know, I told stories about people today in this episode, and there's always a chance that those people are gonna listen and whatever, but, you know. I doubt it with most of them or all of them. I don't think any of them would listen to this like any of the people that I have referenced in my whole entire life. Except for like, maybe two of them. That are like my friends and like, so it's like funny but like, I don't, I don't. It that does make me anxious, but at the same time it's like. I try to keep it broad enough where even, like the people might not even know that it's about them, you know, or like whatever. And at the same time, like, I really hope that, like a lot of the stories that I tell in the personal experiences that I talk about are helpful to people and to me. Like, you know, as long as I'm respecting the privacy of whoever I'm talking about. It's like. What else am I supposed to talk about? As humans, we share life experience. This is like I I can't talk about anything else. I want to talk about my experiences in life and, like, I want to use those to help you guys because that makes me feel better about the pain that I've endured or the good moments that I've endured. It helps me, you know, show my gratitude for those moments and all that. So, like I. You know, I'm careful about it and I'm thoughtful about it so that nobody ever knows who I'm talking about or whatever. I do my best anyway. I mean, and, you know, there's always. Guesses and stuff like that, most of which are usually not right, but that's OK. Have have your fun. Sometimes they're right. Who knows? Umm. Either way. By me telling the story I hope that I help someone and or made someone laugh or whatever. And that's kind of the end of that. So, like, it does give me anxiety, but at the same time I combat it by remembering that like. These stories could maybe potentially help one person and like that makes me feel good. So. Somebody said, hey Emma, I was wondering if you have any advice on making sure people are not in your life for the wrong reasons. And are just using you. What should you do about it? I hate this because I have. I'm gonna get really deep with y'all. I've talked about my feelings a lot today. This is stuff that I don't even talk about with my friends half the time, but it's a lot easier when you're in a room by yourself and. It's just you. You know what I mean. I really struggle with this. And you know, it may seem like something that's, like dumb to complain about. But. I actually had anxiety about this today to be honest. It's like. I've had so many instances in my life where I've been like, wow, I think I've really good people around me. And I've been wrong. And. Their true colors show eventually, and they were in it for the wrong reasons. And I think what scares me the most right now is that the people in my life are people that I like love more deeply than I've ever loved. People in my life before, like my very small circle. I love them so much and I like but, and I mean I trust them with my life. Truly, and I truly know. That they're in my life for the right reasons, but at the same time. My *** got trust issues a little bit because. Naturally, like I've been used before, you know? For whatever and. For different connections or for, you know, XYZ, whatever. Like this has happened to me time and time and time again and I get it. Like whatever, like it's fine. It doesn't happen all the time. There's a lot of people that come and go in my life that never even wanted to use me. They just maybe weren't the right fit. It's not like every single person I've ever had in my life has tried to use me, but there's been a few instances that really, really stick with me, where I've let somebody into my life with open arms and they've just turned around and stabbed me in the ******* back. So bad to a point where like. I'm so terrified. Of that I know that heartbreak that I felt when that happened to me was so painful. And I know it would hurt 50 times worse if it happened with the people that are in my life right now. And so it's terrifying. I think the thing that you need to remember is that like. Every person in your life is unique. Every single person in your life is different, and you need to let them show you who they are. If somebody is. Very conditional with their love for you. Very conditional about when they help you, when they are there for you, stuff like that. That's a pretty telltale sign that they're in it for the wrong reasons. Another way to tell is if they like only want to be around you. If you have something to offer that day and they don't, don't just want to like spend one-on-one time with you. That's a huge thing if somebody wants to spend one-on-one time with you off of the phone. No money involved, no like other people involved, nothing. No other factor. That's a great sign that they are in it for you because they like you and they like to be around you. It's even worse with dating. I think that dating the whole using for blank thing is even worse and it could be whatever. Like using for money, using for, you know, somebody else's body which is ****** ** or using someone for you know. In like LA, you know, like fame, things like that. Whatever. And it's even more painful in that way, and that's why it's so scary. But I think I've found that, like, you let people prove you wrong, and you give people a chance and but you have your guard up and you keep your eyes peeled. And if you start to see something that's a red flag, don't ignore it because I ignore red flags like. A specific example would be like if I meet someone. And they like. Want some sort of like shout out of some sort or some sort of tag, some sort. I'm like no. Like you don't want to hang out with me. Why? You just met me 5 minutes ago. Why are you asking me to? Post about you like that's so shallow to me. You know, Umm, and that's like something that I notice, like a lot of people do that. And guess what? I ignore that a lot. I've ignored that in the past. And. It came to bite me in the ***. So don't ignore the red flags and be honest with yourself about where you think their heads at. Your gut knows you. Just don't admit it to yourself with some people. And. Cut those people out before it gets too painful. Because the second you're in love or something, that's when this **** gets painful. Not like you'd even be in love the second you think you're in love, or the 2nd that you think that's your bestie and you're ignoring your red flag, that's when **** gets painful. So anyhow, I'm gonna answer one more, and then I'm out of this *****. Because I need to go to bed and. Like relax, because I had a really? Weird day. A really weird day. OK. Last question is another dating question because. I don't know why I love them so much. This is really interesting. I don't think I've ever talked about this. So if you guys are here all the way at the end of the episode. Thank you for staying and this is a fun one. Do you think it's OK to talk to multiple people at once, all of which you could maybe see yourself dating? But of course assuming that everything is casual so it's not a cheating situation. So this to me is a little bit messy. I don't tend to talk to more than one person at once. I really don't like overlapping it. Listen, I get it. Sometimes you're testing the water with a with a few people because. It's just. Like, you don't know which one you're going to like. You know what I mean? Like, you have to try new things. Dating is like. Kind of like sifting through everybody to find that needle in a haystack and like, and sometimes you need to have a few hay pieces in your hand to find the needle. Because you have to move them around. Good metaphor, Emma. Anyway, there's a self love coming through anyway. Personally, for me, I don't do this for multiple reasons. Number one, I usually don't like more than one person at a time, and half the time I'm talking to somebody that I don't even really like, and so then that just ends up going nowhere. So that's #1. #2 I think that it can be messy because if you end up. Like getting serious with this person really fast. It can end up becoming messy because it's like, oh **** now I have all these loose ends, right? Like, let's say you're talking to five guys burgers and fries 5, let's say talking to five guys. This is like talking about me because I'm like, I'm using me as an example. Let's say I'm talking to five guys. I've never done that my entire life, but I'm just again, using me as an example and I end up finding one. And I'm like, that's the one. I like that one. He, me and him, clicked the best. He's really cool. Whatever. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna pursue this guy more seriously. Now you have four people that you need to be like, hey, sorry, but I am now in a relationship. Sorry. The problem with that is that number one that's going to end up hurting those four other guys. Because they're going to be bummed, possibly. But also it's kind of like. Weird for the person that you're like. Dating? I don't know, like, I just feel guilty about it because I feel like I'm hurting more people than like, whatever then I would like to like. That's why I just would never do that. But also, I don't think I ever have an opportunity with like more than one guy, like. Every blue moon. Let's just say that so I don't like, have, like, I've never been the type. That's like, I got options. You know what I mean? It's just not me. But listen, I think as long as you're respectful, and as long as you're not, like, leading anyone on or stringing anyone on or being like unloyal to the one person that you end up choosing. I think it's fine if that's what like makes you feel. Good. And like, that makes you feel good and you, like, enjoy talking to all those people and you're genuinely trying to workout, like, who you want to pursue more seriously than, like, I mean, yeah, like, work it out, it happens, it's normal and like, whatever. But I think that it's just important to make sure that all of those loose ends are tied up. Before you get serious with the new person, because. You just don't want that messy **** because it can get really messy. And you don't want anybody to be sabotaging your potential relationship that you're trying to grow and, like, all of that. So. And as long as you're being respectful and you explain like, hey, I you were really great. I loved my time with you, but I am, you know, pursuing somebody more seriously. And I'm really sorry. But, like, I would love to be friends or, you know, you never talk to me again, like, whatever you want. Like, I don't care, but just like, I'm sorry and, like, be honest and, you know, don't ghost them. I mean, I know that, like, a lot of people, just ghost people. And that's fine. Do whatever you want. But in my opinion. I think it's just so much better to be in good graces with everybody, communicate and move forward. And yeah, I mean. That's that. But I do think it gets messy when you're like, consistently, like, maybe even being romantic with these people. Like, if you're being romantic with like a bunch of people at once that can be like, consistently, that can be really, really emotionally damaging for you, at least in my opinion. I mean, some people are totally cool with that, multiple people at once, and it doesn't **** with their head. But like, I don't feel like that would be so good for my brain. I think that would really, really confuse me emotionally. So. Any poozers? That's that. That's today's episode. I hope you guys enjoyed. Thank you for listening to me. I hope that this was useful and I really, really like. Loved getting super personal with you guys today and I hope that you guys liked it. And let me know if you want me to do more stuff like this where I just really, really talk about my feelings. I am a huge advocate for talking about your feelings. I say this to everybody. I think that talking about your feelings helps you grow and helps you learn from things and I think it's just so important. So whether you're listening to me. And you're ******* talking back to the screen. I don't give a ****. Just talk to somebody about what you're going through and put your ego aside and work through it. I love you guys a lot. This was very deep. Very deep. And yeah. You guys are the best and. I will see you guys next week haha. Peace out. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Part Nissan. Recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3 Virginia State inspections and multipoint inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and every purchase or service. Burns Heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits, it can really save people a lot of headaches and of course, money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. Hartnissan.com right, you got it. Hartnissan.com or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head and trust your heart maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC dealer for full details.