Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.
Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:00
After using it every day for over a year, Emma finally deleted TikTok off her phone. While it may not seem like a big deal, it’s made a massive impact on her life. This episode she’s talking about all the ways eliminating distractions in our life can make it so much better. How removing things like a social media app that we waste our time on, or relationships that drain our energy, can give us the physical and mental space to do the things we really enjoy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I hope you're having a beautiful, gorgeous day. Let me tell you something crazy. I have not opened the Tik T.O.K app. In two weeks. Now. To those of you who don't. Participate in Tik T.O.K. You don't have the app. Or you just don't use it, you don't care for it. For those of you. This may sound like nothing, right? But to those of you. Who were like me. And who are addicted to Tik T.O.K. And to use Tik T.O.K daily, whether that is to post or to watch videos, whatever it may be. Then this is actually crazy. I went on Tik T.O.K every single day for like over a year. Maybe two years. I went on Tick Tock every single day. Every time I was bored, every time I had a free moment, anytime I was on the treadmill, anytime I was. In a waiting room at the doctor's office, like anytime I was bored and had access to the Tik T.O.K app, I was scrolling through. Specifically, I was scrolling through my for you page. Which for those of you who don't know what Tik T.O.K is. I mean, I don't know how you don't know what Tik T.O.K is, but the for you page is basically. The Explore page on Tik T.O.K. Tik T.O.K just feeds you random videos. And you can watch and scroll for hours. It never ends. And that's the for you page. It's what Tik T.O.K thinks you wanna watch. It's for you. It's the for you page. OK, whatever. I used to scroll through the for you page on Tik T.O.K. For probably. 3 hours a day without even realizing I was doing it. Because. It it had become a habit for me. You know, like. Any moment of boredom I had, I was scrolling on the for you page. It just it was an automatic response to boredom for me I. Didn't even think anything of it. It never. Even really seemed like a problem to me. Like I knew that Tik T.O.K was probably a bad thing, and I knew that I probably shouldn't be going on it that much, but I don't think I actually realized how bad the problem was until I cut Tik T.O.K out of my life cold Turkey. In today's episode, I'm going to be talking to you about. What I've learned. From quitting Tik T.O.K, cold Turkey. Because. As dumb as it may sound. This has been a genuinely. Life changing experience like it sounds so ******* dumb like. It sounds so dumb, but. It's crazy. How much I've realized. Because. You guys know, OK, you guys know how I feel about social media if you listen to my podcast. I have a very love hate relationship with social media and as much as I love certain parts of it, I am not. Afraid to talk about the parts of it that I absolutely despise. And I think it's important to talk about because I think a lot of people overlook it, and I think that there's been moments when I've overlooked it, and I've been kind of. Naive to the effects that it was having on me, you know. But I think it's important to talk about OK. And. Before you turn this podcast off and say tick tock's not ruining my life. Emma, shut up. I just go on it a little bit throughout the day, like it's not ruining my life. Stop. Just listen to this episode and I feel like I might change your perspective. Give me a chance, babe. Give me a chance. So. The first few days after I deleted the app. I struggled a little bit. For example. When I'm at the gym, I like to walk on the treadmill. And normally when I'm walking on the treadmill, I go on Tik T.O.K because. It makes. The time go by extremely quickly and I. Forget I'm even on the treadmill, right? Umm. I actually don't mind being on the treadmill. It's not a terrible experience. I don't hate it. Like, feels good to get a little sweat in, but at the same time, if I can go on Tik T.O.K and make it. Go by quicker I will, you know what I'm saying. So the first real thing I noticed was. How bored I was on the treadmill. I was like, this is so boring. OK, then I started to realize how bored I was when I was in my bed. Because I spend a lot of time in bed, like, let's not get it twisted here, I spend a lot of time in bed. Spending time in bed is extremely boring. Without Tik T.O.K, I can only scroll through Instagram. I can only go on YouTube. I can only read for so long before I get really bored. Like I don't think my attention span. Is good enough to be on any of those platforms or to read a book for that long so. I could really only lay in my bed for an hour or two before I'd start getting bored. Which blew my mind because I used to be able to lay in bed for like 6 hours straight, going on Tik T.O.K, then maybe reading a little bit of my book, then going back on Tik T.O.K. It seemed that. Tick tock. Kept me entertained while in bed. To a point where I just could stay in bed for so much longer. Within the first few days of deleting Tik T.O.K, I. Stopped laying in bed as much because I would get so bored in my bed. And it forced me to like, get up. And I I, I felt like I was doing more chores than normal. Like, normally I'm not so good at doing chores, but I I started doing my chores more and stuff like that because I was bored in my bed and I was like, well, I don't want to leave the house. What am I going to do? I started doing my chores in a more timely manner if I had dishes to do, if I had packages to open. I felt more inspired to do that because. I couldn't just lay in bed for six hours like I used to. When I'd be waiting in lines at the grocery store. I would open Instagram, scroll a few times, get bored, turn it off. Text my mom some random ****. Get bored of that. Turn it off. And then I would end up standing in said line and just stare at the wall. Instead of staring at my phone. Because my phone was boring. Without Tik T.O.K, my phone became boring to me. And for the first few days, like this was genuinely a struggle. I was like really uncomfortable by this because. I almost had like a missing. Part of my day. Which sounds ******* crazy, because I didn't even think I was going on Tik T.O.K that much yet by removing it cold Turkey from my life. I felt like I had all this extra free time. Which sounds extreme, but it genuinely. Felt like that. I felt like I had more hours in the day. I went from. Feeling like there weren't enough hours in the day to complete everything that I wanted to complete. To. I wish I had more **** to do because. Just cutting Tik T.O.K out of my life. Freed up. On average. Probably 2 to 4 hours a day. Of time for me to think. And actually use my brain. So like for example. When I used to go on the treadmill. And go on Tik T.O.K. I was, in a sense, being productive because I was getting in my daily exercise, right? But I was also going on Tick Tock. So, like, my brain was turned off, OK. Yes, I was exercising, but my brain was turned off. What about today? Today. When I go on the treadmill at the gym. I just listened to music. That's it. I don't watch YouTube videos. I obviously don't watch Tik T.O.K videos. I'll sometimes respond to emails, sometimes scroll through Instagram a little bit. But mainly I just listen to music and stare at the wall. And I use. My time on the treadmill. To think. I come up with ideas for. My podcast I come up with ideas for. Creative endeavors that I'm working on I use this time to. Think about my friendships and relationships in my life and how I feel about them and. Just reflect on myself, my life, my relationships, my work, whatever it may be like. I've been using this time on the treadmill to reflect and to think. Which is crazy to me because. Literally two weeks ago, that would have been impossible. Like I. Would get so bored on the treadmill without Tik T.O.K that. I couldn't go on the treadmill without it. Now I use my treadmill time wisely. I'm actually using it to like, think and do you know some self reflection and like. Do that work on myself and I'm using. I'm like I'm I'm able to multitask in such a more. Efficient way now, right? Or another example would be you know today I got my nails done and normally when I get my nails done I. Turn my phone on silent and watch tick tocks silently. Which is crazy that I used to do that because. I couldn't even hear the tick tocks but yet. Going on Tik T.O.K during my nail appointment made the nail appointment feel like it was two minutes long because I was so sucked into my phone the whole time that I didn't even notice what was going on. And the next thing I know, Dang, my nails are done. Great. OK, well today I got my nails done. And. I didn't even want to go on my phone at all. I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy this. And I got my toes done and I got my fingers done and I just enjoyed. When the lady was massaging my feet and it felt good and, you know, I kind of zoned out and was just like thinking about random stuff. I think that. Quitting Tik T.O.K. Has forced my brain to learn how to entertain itself. Because. For. Over a year. Anytime I was bored I was going on Tik T.O.K now. I don't even want to distract myself like I look forward to these moments. When? I'm kind of bored in a sense to just think. It sounds so simple and it sounds stupid, but like. I actually look forward to those moments. Like when I was getting my nails done today, I I wasn't even bored. Because. My brain was entertaining itself. Or now when I go to the gym and I go on the treadmill and I'm staring at the wall. My brain is entertaining itself. Like I don't need. That distraction anymore and. Don't get me wrong. Like I still go on Instagram. I still watch YouTube videos and stuff here and there. Don't get me wrong, I still do that stuff, you know? Umm. But those things don't stimulate me as much as Tik T.O.K used to like. I enjoy watching a YouTube video, but. I watch two or three YouTube videos and I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Or I scroll on Instagram for like maybe 10 minutes Max Max and I'm like, yeah, I'm bored because it's not as fast-paced, you know what I'm saying? Like Tick Tock is fast-paced and never ending. You can just scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and you get new **** every 15 seconds, every like 15 to 60 seconds. You get new content, right? Whereas on YouTube or Instagram it's a slower. Stream of content. OI, don't find that I have a problem with wasting time on those platforms as much, which is great. But Tik T.O.K man, I couldn't believe. How much of a difference it made to delete it? Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. 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And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. Right now I'm just talking about the difference that it's made to my attention span. I haven't talked about. The mental health element of it all because I actually deleted Tik T.O.K for mental health reasons because it was just destroying me mentally. I talked about that not in my last episode, but in the episode before it. The episode is titled how Am I Really doing? Please feel free to go listen to that. I talk more about Tik T.O.K and how it. Led me to a mental breakdown, but anyway, check that out if you want, but. I deleted the app. Because it kind of made me freak out a little bit, have a little mental breakdown. That was initially why I got rid of the app. But. Deleting the app has benefited my mental health in many other ways. In addition to just. Helping with that one mental breakdown, it's helped my general mental health. For example. On Tik T.O.K you see a lot of different types of people doing a lot of different types of things. Which can be inspiring, can be educational, whatever, but it can also make you feel like you're a loser. And the reason for that is, is that you know when you see somebody on Tik T.O.K waking up at 5:00 in the morning every morning to go run 6 marathons and then. Rescue 700 puppies from. A waterfall or some ****. Like, yeah, you're going to feel kind of like **** about yourself, right? I felt like that's how Tik T.O.K was. It was like whether I liked it or not. I was consuming content. Of people doing more extravagant things than me. And subconsciously I felt self-conscious about that. I was constantly comparing myself to the people I was seeing on Tik T.O.K and. Simply removing that from my life simply removed that comparison and I've felt a lot more. Focused on me and focused on what I'm doing rather than what everybody else is doing or what I could be doing. Because I think that's the thing about tick Tock. I was seeing all these people doing all these things that I could be doing. Whereas now I do things because I want to do them, not because I'm like, oh, I need to like better my life because I'm seeing somebody on Tik T.O.K doing this to better their lives. I should probably do that, too. Like, oh, they're, you know, waking up super early or, oh, they're going to bed super early or, you know, they're they're learning how to knit. Like, I don't know, it's just all these people doing all these things. That's productive, you know, or. Inspiring. That can be great, but then it can also sometimes just make you feel like ****. I realized by cutting out Tik T.O.K that. Tik T.O.K. Was the worst app for me personally when it came to comparing myself to others. I definitely compare myself to others on Instagram subconsciously for sure, but for some reason Tik T.O.K was worse. I don't know why that is but. I was constantly comparing myself to people on Tik T.O.K. I did not realize it in the moment, but I totally was. Every day I was consuming this content that was making me feel bad about myself and making me feel like I wasn't doing enough with my life, you know? And I mean, I feel like I've found a balance with Instagram. Like I've found a way to not compare myself to others on Instagram as much anymore. I don't know why that is. I feel like I've been able to establish a really healthy balance with Instagram. At this point in my life, who knows, I might go down a bad path with Instagram again. But I don't know, I just. I muted a bunch of people on Instagram. Like, I literally barely go on it. Anymore and I just don't really. Follow people that make me feel insecure on Instagram. So I feel pretty good about my relationship with Instagram right now. Like it doesn't. Bug me right now, which is great. But take talk. I was comparing myself to people and it was making me feel like ******. Like ****. Not like ****** but whatever. I think the big moral of this story. Is less like hey you should delete Tik T.O.K off your phone and it's more that. We don't realize how much of an impact. Little habits have. On the bigger picture of our lives, OK, I didn't realize that my seemingly. Harmless habit of going on Tik T.O.K every day. Was. ******* up my attention span. ******* up my self esteem. And wasting a **** ton of my time. I didn't realize how severe the problem was. Was I aware of the problem? Yes, to a certain extent. But I kind of turned a blind eye to it. I was like, well, take talks, bad for your mental health, but as long as I don't go on it too much, I'm fine. I, like, didn't want to quit going on it. I, deep down, deep down, knew that it was bad. I did, but I thought that I could. Find a balance I thought that I could. Find the happy medium I really did. I didn't realize how. Something that seems so inconsequential as a social media app. Could be having that many negative effects on my life? Without me fully being able to grasp it in the moment. Like? I think in my head, before I deleted Tik T.O.K, I always told myself if this was really, really a problem, I would know it. You know what I mean? It must not be that bad of a problem because I don't really feel like it is. You know. I would know if this was a really bad problem. I think I have it under control. It sometimes gets a little bit out of control, but then I, you know, pull the reins back a little bit and I'm like, alright. And then I get it under control again. I didn't realize that the mere fact that I had tick tock on my phone was making my life 10 times worse. Like, genuinely and. This extends beyond social media apps. You know what I'm saying this. Could be anything in your life, for example. Waking up too late in the day or having a bad sleep schedule. OK, I used to have a terrible sleep schedule. I would go to bed at like 3 in the morning and wake up at noon every day. And I was very depressed. And. It made me depressed. It. Made me feel bad about myself because I felt lazy. It. Made me miss out on. The morning time, which is one of my favorite times of the day. I genuinely love mornings. Like, I I honestly think I'm becoming more of a morning person than a night person. I love the morning time. That might be something that came with age, but I've always really enjoyed early mornings. But because my sleep schedule has always been so bad, I just always missed out on them. And. My work schedule was really ****** **. I was not as productive because. I would push everything until midnight and then I'd start working at midnight and then I'd stop at 4:00 in the morning and that was so stressful and uncomfortable. And rushed and chaotic that it like ****** ** my. Work efficiency, in a sense. Umm. And it just overall made me less productive. And a less happy person. In the moment, I didn't realize how bad of a problem my sleep schedule was, you know? Until I fixed it, which now it's like fully fixed. I go to bed at like 10:30, wake up at like 630 between 6:30 and 8:00 in the morning. Like my life has improved so much from just fixing my sleep schedule. And in the moment when my sleep schedule was bad, I knew it was bad. But I didn't realize how much better my life would become from just changing my sleep schedule. My work life has improved, my social life even as improved. Because now. I go and do more things. During the daylight hours of the day and like, I see more people in a sense. Like now that I wake up early in the morning, I'm more likely to go to a coffee shop early in the morning and talk to the barista like, stuff like that. Like it's those tiny things. You know. I don't think we realize how these tiny things affect everything. Another thing. That could be ******* up. Your life more than you realize is like a ****** relationship. You know, you could have a toxic friend in your life. That. Makes you anxious and makes you feel. Under appreciated. On a daily basis and you're just putting up with it because you're like, well, it's not that bad, you know what I mean? But in reality, it's making your day-to-day life. More stressful? And more uncomfortable than it needs to be. I think that we as humans tend to kind of go on autopilot, in a sense, when things aren't that bad. When things aren't that bad, we just go on autopilot, right? When a problem's not that bad, we're like, OK, well, we can deal with this, we'll just keep going because. You don't realize how bad it really is. It takes a wake up call before you realize, oh, I need to delete that app off my phone or I need to start going to bed earlier because this is actually. Causing me severe mental upset now or I really need to cut this person out of my life because. Now it's getting really bad, but it's like, why do we let it get to? Rock bottom before we make change, like that's what happened to me with Tik T.O.K, OK. I did not delete the app off my phone until I had a full depressive episode. For like multiple days over over the ******* stupid app. It took me getting to that point to delete the app. It took me literally. Getting 4 hours of sleep per night. And being almost sick with how little sleep I was getting because my sleep schedule was so bad before I. Realized I needed to fix it. You know what I'm saying? We get to rock bottom before we're like, OK, it's now, now we need to we need to change this. This **** needs to change. But. It doesn't need to be that way, you know what I mean. I think that it's so important for us to every once in a while. Sit back. Maybe write in a journal. All of the habits that we have in our lives. And we can analyze which of our habits are serving us. And making our lives better and which habits. Are making our lives worse, and even if the habits are making our lives a little bit worse. Work on removing those habits. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone and every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. 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I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. Like I'll give an example of something that. I want to work on. That I don't really feel like I need to change, but I know my life would be better if I did. One bad habit I have. Is not drinking enough water. Now I know that that sounds like stupid and tiny, like a tiny problem. And it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal, right? Like I'm not? So dehydrated that I'm in the hospital, you know, it's not like. Some severe severe problem, but I definitely don't drink enough water and it is negatively affecting my life because I get headaches sometimes. I have trouble going. To the bathroom sometimes because of it. And I already have stomach issues and not drinking enough water makes it hard to poop. OK, it does. It makes it harder and I already struggle with that. OK, the last thing I need is anymore. Problems in that area, OK, trust me. If I just started drinking more water. And stopped being a whiny ******* baby about it. My life would improve in multiple areas. You see what I'm saying? It's like it's these little things. But we get into habits. We get into routines. And we get comfortable and complacent in a sense, and just accept our mediocre habits. You know what I mean? I'm not saying we all need to be perfect, OK? I'm not saying that we all need to delete Tik T.O.K, drink 10 gallons of water a day. I think that's actually. I think that might actually kill you, so definitely don't do that. And wake up every day at the crack of dawn, like I'm not saying that. Because everybody's different. And everybody's slightly harmful habits are different. So it's about. Stepping back from your autopilot of everyday life and reflecting on these little things, these little habits. Not the obvious ones. The less obvious ones. And. Nipping them in the head before they get bad, you know what I'm saying? Fixing them before. You hit rock bottom in a sense, like how I did with Tik T.O.K and my terrible sleep schedule. Like? I don't want to end up. Passing out one day when I'm at the beach because I didn't drink enough water. So I'm going to start trying to drink more water now so that I don't hit rock bottom and learn the hard way. I guess that's kind of the moral of this. I know that I drink just enough water to be alive. Like, literally. I'm not kidding. Like, that's how bad my habit is. OK, but I'm but I'm fine, so I don't feel the need to change it yet. We only feel the need to change something once it's too late. That is the moral. I think I'm kind of working through this as I'm talking about it. So that's why I'm kind of all over the place and a little sporadic is because I'm. Trying to figure this out for myself too. Like what's the best way to approach this you know? I think it's crazy. How? The world that we live in now. Doesn't really force us to be fully present. Because it's so easy to indulge in. Social media movies. TV shows. Podcasts. Online shopping. Video games. All these different things, right? Allow us. To. Go on autopilot and not be present. And it's kind of the norm now. Like? I feel like I am becoming more and more present. As I'm. Slowly but surely. Cutting down my. Social media consumption. And my media consumption in general. As I'm cutting down on it. I'm slowly but surely becoming more present. And I'm starting to realize. How truly? Wired we are, you know, to the Internet and I know that this is such a stale topic. It's like we know the Internet is addicting. It's bad for you. We know we've seen the social dilemma on Netflix. We've seen articles, you know. On the Internet about it, we know. But like. I don't care. Because I'm having. The realization myself, and I'm actually experiencing it. And I'm experiencing coming back into the present moment as we speak and it's just too powerful for me not to talk about because. I just didn't realize. How absorbed I was in the matrix of the Internet like it's literally like the matrix. It's like. We're living on a completely different plane, almost because we spend so much time on the Internet and not present in real life. That. It almost feels like we're in the matrix. Which I've said that before, but it's just, it's so crazy how true it is and I think that everybody. Who's addicted to the Internet? Is in denial. I was so in denial I had no idea how bad the problem was. I had no idea how. Not present I was. I can't remember the last time I sat at a nail appointment and just enjoyed the experience in silence and just stared at the wall. And just enjoyed it and just entertained myself by my own thoughts. Could not tell you the last time I did that before today. When I got my nails done today. I can't tell you, you know? How hard it was to. Get used to walking on the treadmill without. Fast-paced distractions. It it's not easy to like. Get to this point. But it's so freeing. It's so freeing because. Number one. I have so much more time in the day. To. Do things that I didn't even realize I wanted to do. Something even as small as. Organizing my closet. Or. Cleaning out my car, you know what I mean? It's like. All of a sudden I like. I'm inspired to do things that I like would have never done before. But I will shed some light on the more difficult side of. Kind of logging off of the Internet in a sense. And becoming more present. And distracting yourself less, I will be honest. It actually can be also kind of emotional because. We use these apps, these video games, these. Online activities as distractions, right? And when you take away distractions, you're left with reality and if your reality. Kind of sucks at the moment. It can be really upsetting. When you become more present. Because now you have to deal with your **** right? You can't just go on Tik T.O.K for two hours and forget about your problems. If you're on this journey to becoming present, right, you can't anymore. You have to work through ****. You actually have to work through your problems. You can't run away and start. Online shopping to numb your pain? You can't. You have to face that **** **** on. A good example would be. When I was on the treadmill and I was going on tick tock, my mind was on Autopilot. I would think about nothing but the tick tocks I was watching now when I'm on the treadmill. I stare at the wall and I think about ****. Random **** whatever comes to my head. It just it's almost meditative in a sense. I'm just thinking about stuff like as they come and go. Well. When you're just. Walking on the treadmill and thinking. Something upsetting might come to your head. Like for example, the other day I was on the treadmill and I was just thinking to myself. And I started to. Ruminate about. All the people in my life and I started to get anxious. And I started to get this feeling like. What if everybody is using me like what if everybody's using me? Like, what if nobody cares about me? Truly? What if everybody has an ulterior motive? This is like a fear that I have a lot. Whatever. It's just something that. I get anxious about frequently because. I don't know, my my anxiety likes to fixate on random things, and like, that's one of them. Like, I get anxious about that frequently, right? Just all of a sudden feeling frightened that, like everybody around me is. Not genuine, which is nothing personal to the people in my life at all, but it's like literally just an anxious thought. It's completely irrational and stupid with absolutely no. Legitimacy behind it at all, but it's one of those things where it's just like something that my anxiety. It's just something that my brain likes to fixate on when it's anxious. OK, whatever. So that thought came into my head while I'm on the treadmill now. Normally when I would get an anxious thought, I would go on my phone and go on Tik T.O.K and forget about my anxious thought. I didn't even realize I was doing that. OK? I had no idea I was even doing that. But now that I don't have tick tock anymore, I'm on the treadmill. I'm walking. I start to have this anxious thought. And I didn't have anything to distract myself with. So I had to sit there with this thought and I had to work through it by myself. And just get through it. And the interesting thing is. I was able to get through it. And I was able to pass it because I didn't. Immediately jump up, go on my phone, go on Tik T.O.K and just push the problem back because. I think what we don't realize is, is that when we don't work through things, they don't go away. Things don't just go away. That's just not how it works. If you didn't pay off your credit card bill, that will come back to bite you. One way or another that will come back to bite you. It does not go away. OK if you have an anxious thought about something. You can distract yourself for a little bit, but it'll come back. It does not go away. Until you face it, head on. And you be present. Problems don't go away. OK, 4th of July is coming U you know what that means. It's time to fire up the BBQ. I have recently gotten into barbecuing over the last few months as it started to get a little warmer out. I've been using the grill and it's been kind of fun. Although I'm new to using a grill, so I had to figure out what types of things I needed like metal spatulas and stuff like that. Like I I had no idea what I was doing so. That was kind of terrifying, but I feel like now I'm in the swing of things. I definitely plan on having a BBQ this July 4th because I'm kind of becoming a BBQ girl. Like, I'm kind of into it. Like I kind of love it. I kinda get why everybody's dad is obsessed with barbecuing. It's kind of amazing. Like, I kind of get it. I can't name one thing about it I don't like. I actually got a bunch of grilling tools from Macy's. Com. Thank God for Macy's, OK. Speaking of Macy's, Macy's 45th annual July 4th fireworks is back, and this year it's set to be bigger than ever. It'll illuminate the New York City skyline with an electrifying show filled with color, light and sensational music. I will not be in New York, unfortunately, but I will be watching a video of of it from home. This year, Macy's is honoring America's everyday heroes from communities across the country with the salute the hero within theme, highlighting American bravery and optimism. This will feature more than 65,000 fireworks in an array of special effects over 25 minutes, the biggest show Macy's has ever put on for the event. Plus, they'll have an All Star lineup of fun hosts and major celebrities ready to make it the blockbuster event of the summer, performances by Coldplay, one Republic, the Black Pumas, and more recently. I've been listening to so much Coldplay that this is very exciting. Like, I I cannot stop listening to Coldplay. I I just rediscovered it, like, within this past week, and I've been absolutely bawling my eyes out to it, like, every day. Their first few albums are incredible. I mean, their new stuff is great too, but like their old albums. Wow, you won't want to miss this year's event. Catch the show live from New York City on NBC Sunday, July 4th from 8:00 to 10:00 PM EST. And For more information about it all, check out macys.com/fireworks. I'm feeling more inspired than ever. To regain my presence. In everyday life and. To not rely on distractions anymore and. To face my thoughts and feelings head on instead of covering them up. With distractions. Like? I thought I was good at it before, but I didn't realize. That I I had work to do and the first step to that was deleting Tik T.O.K. Don't underestimate. How these little habits? Can make such a big difference. I'm honestly really excited about. This like, I'm excited about this realization, and I'm excited about. What I've learned from it so far and I just wanted to share this experience because I just didn't expect deleting Tik T.O.K off of my phone. To be this insightful for me. Like, I just did not expect that. Like I thought that I would delete it off my phone and it would. Help me a little bit, but I didn't think that it was going to. Make this big of a difference in my life. And so I just felt like I had to share and I hope that you gained something from this. I hope that this may be shifted your perspective on some of your. Habits or behaviors, and maybe it can inspire you to. Try to be more present and. To stop using these distractions, I think that life is constantly battling distraction, right? Drugs, alcohol, Internet relationships. Friendships. Shopping, like whatever it may be, there are so many distractions around us at all times. It's very hard to be present. It is very, very hard. I'm trying to remove all negative distractions from my life. So that I can be as truly present. As I possibly can be. And we're surrounded by. Potential negative distractions. The Internet video games. Unhealthy friendships, unhealthy relationships. Shopping. Shopping can be also not toxic, but like everything can be not toxic. That's why it's so hard. You know what? That's why it's so ******* hard. That's why this whole process is so difficult. Because. It's like. Where's the line? You know everything. Is fine in moderation. Even going on the Internet is fine in moderation. And and and it can even enhance your life in some ways, right? But it can also be the most toxic thing for you ever. That's why it's so ******* complicated, because it's so different for everybody. So that's why we all have to look inward and figure out what needs to go, what needs to be removed from our lives. What are we doing? To a point where it's negative. Like for me, Tik T.O.K needed to go. It needed to be deleted. For you, Tik T.O.K might not be your problem. It might be Instagram. That's why it's so ******* complicated because it's like. There's no set. Rule book. For how to eliminate negative distractions because it's so different for every individual person. The goal is to do enough self reflection. To figure out what it is for you so that you can be as present and happy as possible, so that you can live life to the fullest and just. Leave it the **** ** babe. My God, this topic is like getting me freaked out because it's like. It's so it's, it's the whole concept is a Gray area. You know what I'm saying? The whole concept is a Gray area. I'm done. Alright, I'm done. That's it. Rant over. I am totally done. But I really enjoyed talking to you guys today. And. I hope you enjoyed hanging out with me and I hope that. That wasn't. To all over the place like I hope I was able to get. 1. Coherent thought out. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. Thank you for listening to me every single week. If you do, this is your first time listening. Thank you for listening today. If you want to subscribe to anything goes, you can do that on any platform that you listen to podcasts if you want to follow. Anything goes on Twitter. The Twitter is at AG podcast. If you want to review anything goes on Apple Podcasts. Feel free to do that. I really, really appreciate it, and I love reading your guys's reviews. And I think that's all I got you guys. Thank you for hanging out. I'll see you next week. Bye.