Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.
Thu, 01 Apr 2021 10:00
Emma is back from a much needed solo trip to NYC. She chats through it and discusses the benefits of traveling alone, even if it’s outside of our comfort zone, when we need a little reset. Plus, why being alone can be beneficial, how to be comfortable being alone if you aren’t used to it, and some tips on doing some self-reflection. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Otherwise known as your bestie, I hope you're having an amazing day. Ah. It's nice and early in the morning. It's like 8:00 AM right now. I just woke up. So if you're wondering why my voice sounds maybe a little bit raspy. That's why you're probably like, am I? Doesn't sound raspy. You want it to sound raspy. You want to have hot, sexy morning voice. But you don't, *****. And I know and I know that I'm. I know. Anyway. Let's just get right into the topic today, because I have really nothing to talk about, like I have nothing else to talk about. Nothing has happened that's worth updating you on. We're just going to get straight into the topic of today's episode. Today's episode is going to be about traveling alone because this is a newfound passion of mine. I just got back from a trip to New York. I went to New York for about a week by myself. And. I had so many realizations and I also never realized how truly great traveling alone can be. And I urge all of you to try it. If you're a little bit too young to travel alone, this is something you can look forward to and if you're not fully comfortable traveling alone. Personally, which I totally get, some people just cannot do that. Maybe this is something that you can warm up to? Down the line, I'm just planting the seed, OK, but I just think that there's a lot to be gained from traveling alone and. I personally never saw a reason for it because I felt like. Being in a foreign place is so much more fun with you know your friends or your family and it's more comfortable. But after going to New York by myself for a week, I truly realized why traveling alone is such a. Borderline spiritual experience. And I wanted to share what I learned, what happened, how it was, etcetera, etcetera, and just plant a seed for you guys. If you guys aren't. Loan travelers, you know. OK, so the first kind of thing I want to talk about is why I went. Basically. I was kind of alone in LA, like everybody that I hang out with or that I'm close to was doing things like. Either working or on a trip or you know and it just I was just kind of on my own and listen, I'm on my own 90% of the time anyway. I'm. Usually on my own, but it feels a lot worse when you know that you couldn't just hit someone up if you wanted to to hang out. Now listen, I'm pulling from a small circle here. I talked to about three people in total. Max. And. So I was kind of on my own, which was fine. But kind of a bummer, especially because. La. Is not really my friend right now. The energy here is pretty awful. I can't really put a finger on why. I've also been here for four months straight, which is. You know, kind of a long time I try to get out of town. Every few months and so four months is a lot for me to be here at once. And that might sound so. ****** right, but. There's something about LA that's so draining, and I know it is a privilege in itself to even be able to talk about this as an issue, but. Issues are relative, you know, and for some reason Los Angeles just drains me and makes me sad and makes me feel like ****. And so I try to either go on a road trip, whether that's like somewhere in California or whatever, or. I don't know, just do something. Even go stay in a hotel somewhere. Just get out of. My direct house in Los Angeles every few months. I don't know how I just ended up here at this point. I don't know how I ended up with this talking point I like, but anyway, so. All my friends were out of town. I had a relatively free week. I didn't have a lot of. Quote UN quote work stuff going on. Hate talking like that, but you know what I'm saying, OK? I didn't have any meetings. I didn't have any photo shoot. Like it was just free week, so. I was like, you know, I'm just gonna seize this moment, right? I'm going to have to be home alone anyway. I kind of need to get out of town. Let's just do it. So. I looked into traveling to New York, figured out if that was something I could do right now, safely and legally and all of that and. It. Look like something that was very possible and so. I started planning the trip, and immediately. I felt really good because prior to planning this trip. I was in a really serious lull, but also a depressive episode too. I mean, I was. Kind of going through it. And I don't really know why. You never really know why, but I was just in a rough spot. But immediately as they started to plan this trip, it gave me something to be excited about because I hadn't been excited about something. In months. And this was something that was all for me. I was doing this all for me and it felt really good to finally be taking initiative and finally. Do something for me, you know, it felt really good and so I was super excited. Planning the trip was obviously complicated because right now in this climate, of course, you know, there's a lot more precautions that you need to take and stuff like that. But I was so motivated to do everything and cover all my bases so that I could go on this trip. And that was exciting too, because I had had no motivation to do anything besides. Zest for months. Like I couldn't shower. I couldn't. I didn't wanna cook. I didn't want to. Clean my house. I didn't want to do anything. But seeing myself be motivated to do. Somewhat, you know. Tedious things like. Going and getting COVID tests or filling out online forms, I was motivated to do that, and that may seem like a small victory, but. It was like. Cool to see. OK, wait, Emma, you? Aren't. Down that bat, you know what I mean? You you actually are motivated by the right things right now. You're just not your life just doesn't have exciting things going on in it that make you feel motivated, if that makes sense. So, like. It it proved to me that. OK, if I find something that excites me, I still have. Driving me somewhere. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyways, I'm getting a little bit. I'm getting a little wordy over here. But I finally felt excited and so this was great. But another reason why I wanted to go was because my social battery was severely drained. Now what I mean by that is. My. Ability to be social in any capacity, not just in person, but also over the phone. On social media, even. Was just gone. I. Could not answer people's phone calls like I could not. Interact with people and I've been struggling with this for. Upwards of six months now. Just not having it in me to have a conversation. Because conversations drain me more than they uplift me. And so I just couldn't find a reason to be social, really, in any capacity. And I was trying, but it just wasn't working. My social battery empty, gone. It's been gone. Whatever. But the appeal of going to New York was OK if I go to New York. And I don't answer my phone. That's at least a more valid excuse than, oh, I just don't want to talk to you right now, because that had been my excuse for the past four months and so. It was almost like this relief. Right where? Being in New York would make me feel better about ignoring everybody, and that might not be a great coping mechanism, but it was so appealing to me to. Relieve that pressure. I also don't know anybody in New York. Nobody's gonna ask me to hang out. Nobody's gonna. You know, see me at the grocery store and be like, hey, what are you doing later? Like, we should hang out. None of that, you know what I'm saying? Just me by myself in a bunch of strangers, and that was just so tempting to me. But I also think that my social battery is drained because of social media. And I know. Ohh, don't even get me started. I know the last thing that anybody wants to hear about is the effects of social media on our brains. Because guess what? We've all been talking about it for years, for months, for weeks, whatever. Everybody's sick of it. It's such a stale conversation. I know whenever somebody starts a conversation or starts a sentence with yeah, and due to social media, shut the **** **. Trust me, I know it. It's so frustrating to me as well. I hate it, but. I watched the social dilemma. Which is a documentary on Netflix about social media and the effects that it has on you know, your brain and how it's. Extremely addictive and whatever. And they were talking about how you know it's not. Natural for humans to. Have access to what everybody's doing and to have access to opinions. Of everybody at any given time. And I might be butchering this cause I watched it a week ago or so, but. They were mentioning something about how. Humans are kind of instinctually wired to. Listen to what other people have to say, because a long time ago before, far before social media, we were in tribes in a way, or families like that's how we lived our lives. That was our community and it was tight knit. And so you would listen to what your community was saying, you'd listen to what your tribe was saying and. That meant something to you, but now we're wired to listen to our community, listen to our tribe, in a sense. But it's on such a larger scale because we're seeing comments from bazillions of people seeing posts from bazillions of people, and that's not natural. It's not natural to. Have to process that many people's actions in that many people's opinions. It's just not natural and it creates so much anxiety and it makes you feel drained because you're just not wired to be analyzing that many people. And so I think that that's why. You can go on your phone all day and see nobody but feel extremely drained socially by the end of the day. Because. You've been on social media all day and you're kind of, in a weird way being social, but not directly. And it drains you. And I think that that's what I was dealing with. I was feeling this. Exhaustion socially. But it was confusing because I wasn't actually hanging out with really anybody, so it didn't really make sense to me. I was like, why am I so drained for no reason? But then watching that documentary made it all make sense to me, and so I was just feeling severely drained. So not only did I want. A way to escape. The responsibility of having to hang out with people or talk to people. But I also wanted a fun new environment that could distract me from going on my phone because I am severely addicted to it, as we all are anyway. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. Another reason why I went was because I feel like a change of pace. That could mean so many different things, but a change of pace. Can really help recharge your brain. And especially if you're by yourself, having to navigate a new place by yourself is extremely like it's very stimulating on your brain because. I know when I'm in LA I have a routine, I have my set few people that I talk to, and it's so easy to just sink into that routine and kind of become a robot, to be honest. And I've definitely become a robot. And. It's just going. To a new environment and having to figure it all out. Is. Exciting, and it taps into parts of your brain that you're not using on a day-to-day basis because you're out of your routine. And I think that that was something I really needed. But now let's talk about what I was concerned about going on this trip by myself, because I can imagine. You know, I feel like I'm a pretty independent person and I was having these concerns. You know, I mean independent, not in the sense of like, yeah, I'm independent, independent in the sense of I spend a lot of time by myself and you know, I'm an only child and whatever. So that kind of naturally. Made me more independent but I still have these concerns but for some people who. You know, maybe don't feel as comfortable being independent, which is totally fine. These concerns might even be amplified, but I'm here to comfort you and show you why you should be traveling alone, so I'm trying to prove a point here. So my concerns were, number one, feeling stranded. I was getting anxiety prematurely before I even left on the trip about feeling like I was trapped there. And if I ended up not enjoying myself, I was scared of feeling like I couldn't leave because, you know, I had a set. Date that I was going to leave and I could leave early, but I. There's reasons why you wouldn't want to do that. You know what I'm saying? It costs money. It's like. And inconvenience, whatever. So I was worried about feeling trapped and that was kind of my anxiety speaking, being like, well, what if you go and you have a terrible time and you feel trapped there? In reality, I could leave if I really wanted to. So. That was a stupid concern, but it was there. The second one was just being bored in general. Like, is it going to be boring not having people to talk to? Is it going to be boring at night in the hotel room by myself, you know, watching? TV like, is that gonna be depressing and boring? I don't know. I was also concerned about having FOMO in a sense, and I don't really feel like I get FOMO anymore. I kind of grew out of it. Fear of missing out. I feel like I don't really worry about missing out anymore because I'm just too tired. Which is honestly, it's like what's worse, I guess. But. I don't really get FOMO anymore, but I was worried that I was going to because. Maybe something fun was gonna happen in LA, like. They were going to have super big avocados at the farmers market. I don't know, but I was worried that I was going to feel like I was missing something. I also was worried about not feeling safe. In a way, like being there by myself, I was worried that I wasn't gonna feel safe enough to go and explore by myself, which is one of the things that you don't really know if you're going to experience that or not once you're there. So that was a concern. And last but not least, I was concerned that I wasn't going to have the confidence to go out and about by myself and. Truly get the most out of the trip. I was scared that I was just going to. Kind of give up and just stay in my hotel room the whole time, which to me was going to be a failure because I wanted to explore and try new foods and try new restaurants and try new coffee shops and just walk around like I that's what I was so excited about. And to me, a failure would be, you know, just to stay in my hotel the whole time because it's like, well, why wasn't I just in my own bed, *** **** it. So I was concerned that my own mind was going to get in the way and I wasn't going to go explore and do what I planned to do because it takes mental energy to go out and explore, especially by yourself when you have other people around. It's so much easier because they're like, oh, I want to go see that Empire State Building. Oh, I want to go try this new restaurant. Oh, I've been wanting to go to this thrift store. And the next thing you know, like. Everybody else planned everything for you, and you're just going along for the ride. And then maybe at some point you might be like, Oh well, actually I wanted to go in here. And then it's like. You get to explore a lot because there's so many people that want to do so many different things if you're traveling in a group. But when you're traveling by yourself, it's like you have to motivate yourself to to want to go see things or go experience things, and that's sometimes a little bit more difficult, especially if you're in a lull mentally. But. I can tell you that, number one, I never felt stranded. I never felt bored. I never had FOMO. I only maybe felt unsafe, like once. And that's because I was walking around late at night, which is, you know, scary. But that's also normal. And I ended up. Motivating myself to get out and go and walk a lot every single day. I really was determined to make the most of it. And I mean, I did lay in bed for hours on end here and there just because I would get tired. But like, I felt OK about that because. In moments when I had enough energy, I was getting up and I was doing it. I was making the most of it. And. It was great, I. Gained a lot from this trip. And so, naturally, I need to tell you what I gained from this trip. Number one, I really felt truly independent. Because normally. In my you know, in LA. I feel independent because I'm by myself a lot. But I also don't feel independent because my family lives in our flight away from me. They can literally, if I have a meltdown, they can book a flight and be here in an hour, or they could hop in the car and be here in five hours. So. There's definitely a lifeline there. But also I have, you know, my few friends and loved ones here. That are a support system for me and they live even closer to me, 5 to 10 minutes. So if I have some sort of meltdown or I'm feeling lonely or. Whatever, I can call them and and. Be with them in within 10 minutes so. As independent as I am, I kind of have a lifeline here. You know? I feel like I can fall back on my support system so easily in LA because everybody's so close by whereas being in New York. I was completely alone. I couldn't just. Going hang out with somebody late at night because I felt. Lonely or sad, I kind of had to fend for myself mentally in that way. I mean, and I could always give somebody a call, but it's different. And so. I felt fully independent for the first time in a really, really long time, possibly even a year. It's been that long. And it felt empowering to prove to myself, OK. I don't need anybody else to comfort me. I can comfort myself. You know what I'm saying? I don't need to. Go hang out with a friend. When I get upset, I can actually be upset by myself. And comfort myself, and that's a really important skill to have. Comforting yourself, but it's not an easy thing to do, you know. It takes a lot of practice, but I think when you get thrown into it. By going and traveling by yourself, you can actually learn a lot quicker because. I had no temptation to go hang out with anybody or see anybody that I love. And I was less apt to call. My mom or dad or my friends because I was like, no, Emma, you need to handle this by yourself. You're on this trip by yourself. Handle your discomfort or handle your sadness by yourself and see if you can do it. And that was just so empowering because I I would end up comforting myself, whether it was by listening to music or. Doing my skin care routine or writing in a journal, whatever it may have been. I had to figure out how to soothe myself, myself and. Proving to myself that I can do that is really comforting because at the end of the day, you only really have you. And so feeling confident in your ability to comfort yourself. Can really help alleviate anxiety because you're not relying on other people to alleviate your anxiety. And that's a really important thing and I feel like. Being on a trip by myself helped reinforce that within myself, but it also proved myself that I could have fun by myself because. I always feel like I need certain people in order to have fun. You know. I don't mind spending time alone, and in fact it can be really pleasant, but I don't necessarily have fun by myself. That's like a whole different thing. Having fun is a lot harder to come by being calm by yourself, or being relaxed by yourself, or having a decent time by yourself. Is. You know, great in itself, but actually having fun by yourself is a whole nother level. I actually had fun days by myself. When I was in New York and I proved to myself that. I can have fun by myself. I think the main reason why I was having fun was because I could do whatever I wanted. You know, there was nobody saying, oh, I want to eat at this restaurant, oh, I want to see this, you know, sculpture in this park. Oh, I want to go see this museum. It was up to me. Like, I could go do whatever I wanted. Listen, I don't like museums that much. They're great and all, but, like, that's not something I want to do by myself. So guess what? I didn't go and see museums. I like going for a walk, like that's what I really like to do. I like to go out and I like to walk and. Just enjoy the outdoors. That's something I really like doing. And so I was able to walk for as long as I wanted, for as many miles as I wanted, and walk to any part of New York that I wanted. And whenever I got hungry, I would go eat lunch. Whenever I got hungry, I would go eat dinner and I could go eat wherever I wanted. And nobody was saying, Oh well, I don't wanna eat there, oh, I don't wanna walk there and listen, there's. Amazing things that come with traveling with people, and I totally know that. And I'm not saying that traveling with people is bad, but I'm just saying that I was truly able to have fun by myself because I made my own itinerary and if I would get tired and want to go back to my hotel room, I would do it. If I wanted to eat dinner at 10:30 PM, I could do that if I wanted to. Wake up at 4:00 in the morning and go for a walk. I could do that. It was like I got to do whatever I wanted and there was no. Outside voice, no outside opinion, and that was really great. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop is such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for fallcheckoutmacys.com, that's macys.com. You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. Another really interesting thing that happened was while I was in New York by myself. I did a lot of self reflection, but instead of doing self reflection on myself, my own personality, because I do that kind of a lot. Because I'm alone so much, it was more about my life as a whole. So when I was there, I found myself. Looking at all the different areas of my life where I live. You know who I surround myself with? How I structure my actual life day-to-day and I I was actually able to look at that from a bird's eye view, which I haven't done in a really long time. Again, probably. Six months to a year where I fully. Was thinking about how I structure my life and it made me realize, you know, I don't know. If I want to live. In the heart of LA anymore, you know. I don't know if that's for me. And that was something I never really realized until I was away from my own life. I was able to realize, wait, I don't know if I want to live in LA anymore. You know, it also made me appreciate. The people in my life that I love a lot because I was able to. See it from a bird's eye view and see how they positively impact my life. But I was also able to see how. Certain people make me feel bad, you know? And don't align with where I'm at in my life, and. That was also really important, you know, to see, OK, you know what? Maybe I don't. Want to put up with this person anymore? Maybe I just kind of want to cut this thing off, you know, like I was able to make those realizations and nothing drastic, but. I just was able to see everything from a bird's eye view, you know? I realized that I feel really good when I go on a walk every day. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try to incorporate that into my life in LA, and I just was able to really analyze everything. I also was off my phone a lot. I didn't post on social media. I. Wasn't really looking at social media. I would on accident. But then I would turn it off. That lasted for the 1st about four days that I was there. And then after that I kind of gave up because I was like, OK, I want to post tick tocks and you know, I want to post. Instagram photos that I took and like, you know, at a certain point I was like, OK, I kind of wanna share. My trip, because that's like naturally wired in my head. You know what I'm saying? It's weird because. Nobody actually cares that much about what you're doing, but. I felt this like drive to share what I was doing. With the Internet. And it was kind of overwhelming, actually. At one point I was like, Oh my God, I wanna post this photo. I I took this beautiful photo of a bagel. And. I was like, God, I want to post this so bad. And I was like, Emma, why the **** do you care this much about posting this stupid photo of this stupid bagel? The bagel was not stupid. It was literally the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in my life, to be honest. But no, you get what I'm saying. Like, why did I feel so? Antsy to post this photo of the stupid bagel. It doesn't make any sense, but at a certain point I crumbled. I was like, you know, I wanna post, but I don't think posting is the negative part. I think it's the scrolling that's the negative part. So I really. Tried not to look at anything and that allowed me to just do so much more thinking, but also to enjoy everything for what it was. And in turn, my anxiety was a lot better. Not going on my phone constantly made me feel so much more calm. And so much more level headed. And it was a really beautiful thing. And I told myself when I was on this trip I was like, Emma, when you get back home, you're not going to go on your phone, you're going to stick to this. You are going to limit yourself to 1/2 an hour a day of scrolling and that's it. But. That hasn't really happened, but I was determined when I was on this trip I was like, this makes me feel so good. You need to stick to it. But of course the second I got back it was just like everything that I had. Everything that I had worked on went back to square one, but I do think that I planted a seed in my own head while I was there. And that's step one. So anyway, that is. What happened? That's what I learned. That's what I experienced. I think traveling alone is so important, and it's something I really want to incorporate into my life so much more because I think it's so much more powerful than I would have thought. But I also think that it's what you make of it. Like if you go on a trip by yourself and you don't motivate yourself to get out of bed, and you just go on your phone the whole time that you're there and stay in your hotel room. You're not going to have a profound experience, but if you force yourself to stay off your phone and you force yourself to. Get up every day and make the most of the day. You're inevitably going to have a good time, and you're inevitably going to realize things about your life that you wouldn't have otherwise. Because you're breaking the routine and you're doing something different. This is something I really want to start doing because I like traveling. I do. I mean, I have a love hate relationship with it because. You know. It's really physically demanding in a sense, like it it takes a lot out of you to travel. And I, I envy people that are like super resilient to traveling. They can just, you know, sit on a plane for 15 hours to Australia and, you know, spend 3 days in Australia and then go to. Japan and then go to, you know, France right after and they just. Are fine. Like, I'm not like that at all. Like I get drained emotionally and physically very easily for some reason. But. I do enjoy traveling, and I feel like I always wait up for everybody else to have a free schedule or to. Be excited about the idea of going on a trip to go on a trip, and that ends up. Meaning I rarely travel, you know, for pleasure anyways. And. Now that I know that traveling alone can be so fun, I want to start doing it more because you only live one life, right? And. Why wait up on everybody else to have experiences? You can't. You can't do that. You'll wait your whole life to have experiences. If you want to experience something. Chances are you might have to experience it by yourself because waiting up for other people. May mean that you'll never actually get to experience it. So. I'm gonna start traveling alone. More like I've been really wanting to go to Portland, OR for a long time, but I've been waiting for somebody to want to go with me. No, now, when the time is right, maybe I'll go to Portland, OR by myself, because I don't want to wait up for anybody anymore, you know? I don't know. It's just I I learned that. **** waiting for everybody. **** waiting up for the for everybody. **** it. OK, so I asked you guys to ask me questions about alone time. And you guys sent me some great questions. So that's what we're going to get into now. Somebody said whenever I'm alone, I always end up daydreaming about being a character in the shows that I watch, and I'm never present in reality. I guess I'm trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. Is that normal? Totally. I mean, obviously I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a doctor. Like, I don't know what's normal or what isn't. But I can say that I totally relate. I do this too. You know you have like a muse in your head, in a sense. Like you'll Daydream about. Whatever, like I you know you'll Daydream about your crush. You'll Daydream about. Having the life that you wish you had, you'll Daydream about so many different things. I don't think that that's harmful, but I also think that. It is important during your alone time to do a little bit of self reflection. Based in reality too, and if it's something you struggle with doing naturally because you know, naturally you distract yourself, I would recommend journaling. I really think journaling helps because it forces you to. Be honest with yourself, because whenever something hits the paper. You're more likely to be honest when you're writing something down on paper than if you're just ruminating in your own head. A lot of weird **** can happen when you're just ruminating in your own head, but if you have a solid notebook and a solid pen? And you just start writing. I can guarantee that that will be more honest and more rooted in reality. So I would recommend journaling. And you can even use prompts, you know, like, what do you want to change about your life? What's going right in your life? What's going wrong in your life? And you can answer these questions in the form of prompts. There's a lot of great workbooks, too, that you can buy on Amazon or wherever the **** and that that'll guide you. On your journaling journey, but I think that that really helps. Somebody said how to motivate yourself to do something else from sleeping or watching tick tocks or YouTube while being alone. My dad and I talk about this all the time because we both struggle with this. Once you get into bed and once you start scrolling on Tik T.O.K. You have to break the cycle. You have to break the cycle because. You'll just keep going. Tick Tock and Instagram and YouTube are all made to be extremely addictive. You have to break the cycle. In almost a harsh way, or else you'll just go back to it so. Something that I'll do is I'll go on a walk. That's something I never did before. I like dappled and going for walks. But. I'm really getting into it now. I really like going on walks. I think it's really, really helpful. If you put your Airpods in, put your headphones in, whatever, turn on some music and just go for a walk for 15 minutes. And you don't go on your phone. It doesn't need to be an hour long walk. It doesn't even need to be a 15 minute walk. Maybe it's just a 10 minute walk. Maybe it's just a 5 minute walk. It doesn't matter. But it's getting you off your phone for a period of time so that. You break the cycle and then when you get back home. You can do something else you can. Maybe cook yourself a meal, maybe bake something. Maybe start working on your homework or start working on work stuff that you've been putting off. But the first step is to break the cycle, so you just need to find anything that you can possibly do. For five to 30 minutes, it'll break that cycle. And get you off of Tik T.O.K for a period of time so that you can kind of reroute and then now you can go do something else. I also just ordered a few books on Amazon and I'm going to start reading because. When I'm in bed. I don't know what else to do than to go on my phone, than to go on YouTube, than to watch. You know, a documentary like, that's all I know how to do. In bed. But inevitably we're going to spend a lot of time in bed. We're human beings and we need to recharge. So I'm literally gonna start ******* reading books. I know. I can't believe it either. I don't know who I'm becoming. I'm. Changing but I. Just want the quality of my life to be better and so at this point I'm desperate. I can't. Spend as much time as I am on my phone anymore and have a good life. I'm realizing that. My life is ****** because I go on my phone so much. It's a huge part of my depression and my anxiety, all the science in the world. Proves that and backs that up. A lot of my issues are rooted in my phone addiction, like almost all and when I. Have a break from my phone for a period of time. It's evident that that is a root of a lot of my problems. Or at least it exacerbates the the, you know, already existing problems like a lot of, you know, anxiety and depression that's there, that's gonna be there and that's something that. Is unavoidable for many people and myself included. But the phone makes it worse. In social media makes it worse. So my *** is going to start reading books. I ordered 2. They're coming today. I'm excited. I'm nervous because I literally don't even know if I remember how to read. Like, I'm. I'm not ******* with you guys. Like, I don't know if I know how to read still. Because I haven't read in so long that I'm like scared that. The vocabulary is going to be too complicated for me, and I'm not going to know how to read it. Like, I'm genuinely nervous about that, but regardless, I'll. Let you know how it goes, but I think reading is so good. I think it's so good and it's so much better. And yeah, it's kind of weird and old fashioned, but I'm desperate at this point. I know it. Isn't it funny? I like reading is almost. It feels old fashioned now. It shouldn't, but it does. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Somebody said what if you're becoming too obsessed with being by yourself? You know. For me personally, I find when I'm getting really obsessed with being by myself and I like just don't want to be around anybody, it's not because there's something wrong with me, it's not because. I hate everybody necessarily. It's because that's what I need in that moment. And eventually. I will end up wanting to be social again if I give myself the alone time that I need. I only get obsessed with alone time when I need it. In my brain needs it. To help me grow, you know? Your body and your mind will. Subconsciously make you do things sometimes when they need it. You know, you might accidentally fall asleep during class. It's because you're exhausted and you need to sleep, you know? You might. Isolate yourself from everybody else. Because you need that time to recharge, or to grow, or to work something out. You know, I feel like you sometimes need to trust your intuition and your bodies. Intuitive. Nature. At times, if it's telling you that you need to be alone, then you need to be alone, and eventually you'll want to be social again. It'll happen. It's just not the right time right now. So I would say be patient with yourself. If you're obsessed with being by yourself right now, ride it out. I can guarantee you'll probably end up wanting to be socially again pretty soon. Somebody said what are some of your favorite things to do by yourself? Recently, I love going on walks. I love. Listening to this isn't really like. You know a. This is more of a mindless thing, but I like to listen to podcasts that are educational. Whether it's about like science or politics or. Psychology, whatever. I like to listen to those while I'm doing something else, like while I'm doing my chores, or while I'm cooking, or while I'm cleaning and. I really enjoy that, actually. Like, I know that that sounds weird because like, OK, Emma, you're doing chores and listening to, like, an educational podcast. That sounds like hell, but there's something really nice about it because it's like I'm being productive, but I'm also listening to something that's productive. And. It's soothing in a weird way. I don't know why that is. I think as I'm getting older I'm enjoying cooking and cleaning and doing chores a lot more, which is nice because finally makes my life a lot easier to kind of enjoy it. But I really like doing that. I also like to exercise by myself. Exercising socially is great too, but going for a jog or doing a little weight workout or something makes me feel good because I'm releasing endorphins. But it's also kind of meditative. In a sense, when you work out by yourself, maybe even in silence or with relaxing music, it's great. It gives you something to do that's productive, but it's also makes you feel good afterwards. You know, when you sweat in any way or move your body in any way just feels good. So I like to exercise by myself. I also been stretching recently. Like stretching for probably 10 minutes a day. I really enjoy that because again, it's kind of meditative, but it's also. Useful because it feels good. And then obviously, you know, sometimes I'll watch a documentary or. I I that that's pretty much it. But I mean, it's simple. It's nothing too crazy. But going on a walk is my new favorite thing. Oh my God, I also love going to the grocery store by myself. That's a new thing that I really like to do. I love going to the grocery store. Sometimes I'm not in the mood, but like when I'm in the mood. My God, it's my favorite thing. I love it. I don't know what I am turning into a middle-aged woman. Like, I'm not kidding. I swear I I skipped a few steps and I became a middle-aged woman. Over the course of COVID like I, I literally went from. Rowdy teen girl to middle-aged mother in a year. I go to bed at 9:30. My bedtime gets earlier every night. I woke up this morning at 7. I'm turning into a mother. It's not good. Oh, I've also been laying in the sun recently. That's really nice. If it's warm where you live, go out and get a little vitamin D wear your sunscreen though, although I've been forgetting to wear sunscreen so I'm literally wrinkling as we speak. Somebody said how can I spend time with just my thoughts? I feel like I always need some sort of distraction. Like music, social media, Netflix, podcasts, etc. Well, I would say that that's pretty normal, but I think that this leads us back to journaling. Or reading. Or even meditating. You don't need to spend a lot of time. Just completely in your own thoughts, but spending 10 minutes journaling? Spending 10 minutes? You know, meditating. That goes a long way. And then after that you can return to, you know. Your podcast or your music. I wouldn't recommend returning to the social media part. But. After you meditate, it's like you can go and, you know, listen to a podcast and you can listen to music or you can watch it. Fun thing on Netflix and feel a little bit better about it because you did put in that work you put in that time by yourself. And. It doesn't need to be long, but it's very useful. I would also recommend you know, looking into. Different forms of media or entertainment that's actually like, educational. Rather than just entertainment, because. Then at least you're learning something. That's what I found. Like don't get me wrong, I will watch junk food on the Internet sometimes. Drama videos I mean it's it's inevitable. It shows up in my Explorer page, I have to click it, whatever. You know, I'll watch. Just like. Content that maybe like isn't. Useful or doesn't teach me anything or doesn't make me feel good. I I watched that stuff all the time, but. It's balancing it with also stuff that's, you know, useful. Like, I'll listen to a podcast about the ocean for, like an hour and. If the person that's talking is interesting, then it's great because I just, you know. Spent an hour being entertained fully, but in a way that is actually enhancing my life and my knowledge. Of the of the world and such. So it's about balancing, you know? Somebody said how do I explain to people that I enjoy spending time alone? I struggle with this myself because I. Will. Not call people back. I love doing that. You know I will. Not hang out with people for months. I will ignore people. I will. And it's just. And it's not even personal. It's just because I want to be by myself for a while. Or maybe I just only have energy to nurture. A few relationships in my life at that time. Maybe that's like a significant other, or my best friend and just my parents. Maybe that's all I have the energy. To deal with. That's all I have. The energy to nurture is just those handful of relationships. So for anybody else, I just don't have the energy. You know. The way that I justify it is I just say listen. You're awesome. You're great. But I'm so overwhelmed right now. I have a lot going on. I just. I can't be a good friend to you right now. I mean, I'll be honest if I need to, but another thing I do is I'll just ignore them. To be honest. I'll ignore them. And then when I have the energy to to interact with them again. I'll explain. Hey, I, you know, was going through a time there where I just needed a lot of alone time, but, you know, I'm back. I'm ready to hang out if you're free and if you're down or whatever. And people are generally pretty understanding, you know, if you just say, listen, I needed my alone time and I'm here like, now I want to be here and nurture this friendship, but I just didn't have it in me before. Sorry about it. I can. Most people are very open minded. They don't really care that much and they're just happy that you're talking to them. Now, and that's great, but if they don't understand and they're like, well, it's obviously personal that you don't want to hang out with me, like, what the **** you'd be like. No, it's not personal. I just don't maybe have as large of a social battery as you, and I need a lot more time to recharge and I don't have the energy to be a good friend right now to everybody. Sorry. And if they don't understand that, then they're just not. Empathetic enough, you know. Anyway, that's all I got y'all. That's all I got for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you did, let me know. You can tweet me at a G podcast or leave a little review on Apple Podcasts. Whatever floats your boat. I this episode I feel like I was ******* like on one, so I'm sorry. I just like was really like my brain was just moving like it was just on. One it was just on one and sometimes when that happens I can't stop it. So here we are. But. I loved hanging out with you. I really appreciate you and I appreciate you coming back every week if you do. You can follow us on the Twitter at AG podcast if you want to participate in the episodes. Let me know what you want me to talk about next. And the moral of the story is, go on a trip by yourself. I think it's really, really good. Have an amazing week. Love you all. Bye. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Partisan recognize that. So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3 Virginia State inspections and multi point inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange and every purchase. For service earns heart rewards points, that's a ton of stuff. It's amazing offering all those benefits, it can really save people a lot of headaches and of course, money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. 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