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Carvana is in the business of driving you happy, and with the widest selection of used cars under $20,000, you're bound to find a car that'll put a smile on your face. They even offer customizable financing so you can plan your down and monthly payments to shop thousands of affordable vehicles 100% online. Download the app or visit carvana.com. Availability may vary by market. Hi, everybody. I'm not going to lie, I just had the craziest week of my life. And I'm so excited to just sit down and tell you everything about it. Everything about it. This past week I went to my very first Met Gala. And this was just absolutely insane to me because ever since I was probably 15 or 16. I have been heavily keeping up with the Met Gala every single year. Looking at the outfits. Keeping up with the Met Gala drama like. Since I was 15 or 16. I've been. Obsessed with the macalla. Every year when it happens, I'm looking on vogue.com to see what everybody's wearing and to form my own opinions, and it's always been my favorite event. With that being said. I never in a trillion years thought that I would be invited. Ever. Like. It just never crossed my mind as even a possibility. Even now, it still feels like. A figment of my imagination. It feels like something that didn't even happen. It's so insane and mind-blowing to me. I think the reason why I really love the Met Gala is because it's truly the perfect event. It's a combination of. A bunch of different types of celebrities and creative people. Mixed with. The best designers. And it's all in one place. You know. Other events like the Oscars and the Grammys are more specific. You know, they're specifically about music or specifically about film, whereas the mekala is kind of this. Pool of a bunch of different designers and a bunch of different creative people and a bunch of different celebrities, and it's all in one place and it truly encapsulates. Pop culture in a way that I don't think any other event does. And. There's something about it that's just so entertaining. And. I just can't. I still just can't believe that I that I was, that I went there, like, what the ****? To be honest, I. Can't remember when I got the call. From my team telling me that I was invited. I literally don't remember it. I don't remember what day I got the call. I don't remember what I was wearing. I don't remember what I thought immediately upon receiving the news. For some reason, I blocked all of that out of my head. I don't remember. Anything from the day that I found out that I was going. To be honest, I think I was genuinely in shock and that's kind of weird for me because. I feel like with most things that have happened to me throughout my experience being on the Internet. Not a lot of it has shocked me in the way that this has. This truly threw me for a loop. OK, because it just came out of nowhere and I just really was not expecting it. And. It was something that I truly thought was impossible, so it was almost like. Something impossible coming true and that just shocked me beyond belief. So I really don't remember that day. I do not remember the day that I found out, but. Eventually. You know, about a week after I found out reality started hitting right? You know, it was time to start preparing, and it was kind of starting to become realer and realer. And. My fears started setting in right? My first fear. Was that? I didn't belong there, you know. This event had always had such a. Prestigious and. Almost ethereal presence in my mind. And. Obviously when I look at myself in the mirror I just see me and so my first fear was that I just wasn't going to fit in and that I just wasn't meant to be there. And. I think part of me felt. Like I was going to be looked at. As kind of a fool or I don't know, I just was worried that. I was going to stick out like a sore thumb in a way, in a bad way, right? And people were going to be like, why the **** is she here? That was my first fear. My second fear. Was that? I wasn't prepared enough, you know, like I haven't done a lot of red carpet. Events. I'm terrible at walking in high heels. I'm not the best at posing in front of paparazzi and press, you know? Am I prepared enough to? Walk. On a carpet of this level, like I no, I'm not, you know, and that was my next fear. But my final fear. Was the largest of them all. And I haven't mentioned this part yet, but. Basically, I was invited to the Met Gala to attend. As a guest. But I was also invited to the Met Gala. To interview celebrities on the red carpet for vogue. So I had this whole other added layer. Of fear because of that. I've never interviewed people before. Ever. I don't even need to interview people on this podcast. So I was like, oh **** not only. Do I have to? Walk on this carpet. And look like I have my **** together. But I also have to interview celebrities and pretend I have my **** together. This is a lot for Mommy. This is a lot, you know what I mean. Umm. I was really terrified of. Interviewing these people because. I didn't want to let anyone down, you know? Vogue put their trust in me to interview people on the red carpet. For their channel and. By them doing that and by them choosing me, they're putting a lot of trust in me to do a good job. And if I **** it up, you know? It's going to be really sad for me and sad for them. And sad for people who wanna watch the interviews and and see what's going on. In years past, I loved watching all of the red carpet interviews, you know, and and so I felt this immense pressure to do a perfect job for myself and for vogue and for the people who wanted to watch it. And it was just overwhelming at first, you know? There was so much fear. Around the whole thing for me. But eventually. I kind of got over the fear. And my perspective changed a little bit because the more I thought about it, the more I was like, you know what? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I do genuinely believe in myself. Deep down, you know, I'm somebody who tends to be very self deprecating, but I also do generally believe in myself, you know, and so. I knew that I was capable of doing it. I knew that. I just had to keep reminding myself of that and. Just remind myself that. All I can do is do my best. And worst case scenario, I **** everything up and I never go to a megale again. But guess what? All I can do is my best, you know? And so I kind of started to come to terms with the fear and I just kept reminding myself that. I'm capable of doing a good job. And I just kept reminding myself of that over and over and over again. And. Eventually the fear kind of completely went away, which was great. And I just kind of started getting excited. I especially started getting excited when it was time to start. Coming up with the idea for the dress. My dress was designed by. Nicola, who is the women's designer for Louis Vuitton. And. He created a custom dress for me, which was a dream come true, truly. And it was just so cool because. I have been working with them since I was. Extremely fresh in the fashion world. I still am fresh, don't get me wrong, but. The first fashion show I ever attended was a Louis Vuitton show. I've been working with them ever since and. They've been a part of every step. Of my fashion journey. And so it was just so perfect that. They were the ones that dressed me for the event. What was really cool was that because. We were going to be making a custom dress, you know, I got to have a say. About what I wanted the dress to look like, and obviously it was a collaboration between me and Louis Vuitton and my stylist and my team. But I did definitely get a say. When Louis Vuitton asked me. What I wanted the dress to be like. The first thing I said was. I want to look like a woman in this dress. For so long I've been perceived by the Internet and. By people in my life, and even by myself. As a girl like I've always been perceived as a girl as a teenager. But I'm 20 now and I really feel like I'm an adult now. And I wanted. To. Show that. Add this event. And I wanted my dress to reflect that. To reflect that I'm no longer a teenager, you know I'm no longer. This. Little 16 year old on the Internet like I'm a woman now, you know? And I wanted to feel mature and elegant and feminine. And. Kind of dainty. Maybe even in this dress. In the past. I've always felt most comfortable, you know? Wearing things that weren't super fancy weren't super. Elegant, you know, I've always felt most comfortable in things that were maybe a little bit more edgy or. A little bit more tomboyish and that's always how I felt the most comfortable, but as I'm getting older and as I'm maturing. That's starting to change and. I'm starting to enjoy. Feeling fancy and dressing fancy and feeling like a woman. And I've never really felt like. A respectable woman, you know. And I mean, I think that's probably because. Prior to now, I've always been a teenager and a young girl and I'm just now. Entering adulthood. But regardless. I've always just kind of felt like a joke. Almost not like a joke, but like. I've always just felt like. A little girl who nobody took seriously. And. I wanted to feel like. A respectable woman you know at this event. And so that was basically the messaging that I told the Louis Vuitton and I said, you know, this is how I want to feel in this dress. I want to feel elegant. I want to feel feminine and. You know, show me what you got. Like, let's see it. So I gave those notes to Louis Vuitton, and then they came back to me. With two designs. And immediately I was drawn to one. It was perfect. It was. Exactly what I was thinking of. And. My stylist. Worked with Louis Vuitton to perfect the dress. I worked with my stylist and Louis Vuitton to perfect the dress. We were all working in conjunction. On making this dress perfect, you know, there was like a few little tweaks that we wanted to make. But pretty quickly. The entire concept for the dress was done and then it was time to send it into production. I think the thing that was the most special about this dress for me was that it really did feel like. My debut as a woman. You know. Because prior to now. I never felt comfortable in dresses. I never felt comfortable in high heels. I never felt. Me? When I was fancy. It always felt wrong to me. I remember dressing up for high school dances and getting into dresses and heels and just feeling. Like a shell of a person I remember feeling not like myself and I remember feeling so uncomfortable and weirdly less confident. I know that that sounds so backwards, but for me in the past. Dressing up and being fancy actually made me feel insecure and being in sweatpants and a sweatshirt made me feel the most myself in the most confident but. Now you know. I'm at a place in my womanhood where? I feel. Confident and comfortable. In almost anything. Finally, I feel comfortable and confident in sweatpants. And in a fancy dress in high heels, I've finally reached a point. Where my confidence. Has less to do with outside variables like what I'm wearing, and it has all to do with how I'm doing on the inside and. My confidence is harder to shake now than it's ever been. And that was really exciting to me. I really wanted to show that. To myself into the world that. I'm a big girl now, you know? Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear.com/emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. I really think that. Me showing up. In a fancy dress in still feeling like myself. Really proved to myself. That. I'm maturing. And that was really cool, you know, and that I'm becoming. More comfortable with myself. My parents always used to tell me when I was younger that the older you get. The less you give a **** about what people think and. The more consistent that your confidence becomes, and I remember always being like, shut up, you guys like, shut up. But it's really true, like. When I was younger, my confidence was so all over the map. Do you know what I mean? I would have to be in a perfect situation to have confidence right? Like I'd have to be around the right people wearing the right outfit and in the right headspace to feel confident when I was younger, whereas now it feels like my confidence is pretty consistent. You know, no matter who I'm around and what I'm wearing or what I look like in that given moment. Because I just give less of a **** now than I used to. And. It's so freeing. A lot of people really romanticize. Your teen years, you know, they say that that's the peak of life. I completely disagree. Because when I was a teenager, my. Mind, body, and spirit were all over the ******* map, OK? They were a mess. Nothing was aligned. It was a mess. And generally, my emotions were all over the place and I was not that happy. You know what I mean? There were so many feelings and lessons to be learned constantly in my teen years. And although I'm still very young. Even just turning 20, I'm starting to realize how things are really leveling out and becoming a lot more chill, you know, and consistent. My emotions are becoming a lot more consistent and my confidence is becoming more consistent, and I truly owe that to every single year I've lived on this planet. And every single year of wisdom that I've gained while being on this planet. I wouldn't have been able to show up to this event with. Confidence and comfort like I did without every single year of life that I've lived leading up to this moment and. I wouldn't have been able to do this when I was 18, you know? I would have completely had a meltdown. But. I think that this event came at a perfect time in my life because. I'm finally. Crossing the bridge into adulthood. And I'm. Just now starting to reap the benefits of that. And. I think that becoming an adult is actually really exciting because. The confidence and wisdom that you have. Allow you to do things that are really exciting. That you maybe wouldn't have been able to do when you were younger because you just didn't have the resources. That was a huge thing that was brought to my attention when I attended this event. And I just thought that that was really cool, you know? So anyway. Fast forward. To. About two weeks ago from right now. I had my very first fitting. In the dress. The fitting was in Paris. And. I remember the first time I saw the dress. Like the only thought I had was just like, this is exactly what I expected. Like, this is exactly what I pictured in my head. This is perfect. Let's just get this on my body and see if it works. You know what I mean? Like, let's just hope that it fits. And it was perfect. I mean, it was it. It was perfect. I immediately was in love with it. All of the pieces fell together. It was seamless. It was great. There were barely any fixes that we needed to make to the dress. It was very, very smooth and I was so grateful for that. After that fitting in Paris, I flew to New York because the Met Gala is in New York. And then it was go time from the time I landed in New York to the time that the magala was I was preparing. And it was crazy because. The amount of prep that went into one red carpet event blew my mind. There were meetings. There were fittings. There were. Nail appointments, hair appointments like. There was so much prep that went into this and it was kind of hilarious to me. Like I almost had this moment where I woke up. In the middle of all this prep and I had like this moment of realization where I was like. All of this for one event. I've I never prepared so heavily for something in my life and I was like. How funny is it? That. People who attend the Met Gala prepared this much. Just to walk on a red carpet for like 7 minutes and then eat dinner. Like it it. It was just like mind-blowing to me how much prep went into it. But. The good thing about it was that. It kind of forced me. Not to think about. The event itself. I was so consumed by preparing that I was barely even thinking about the fact that the event was even going to happen, and so I actually got weirded out at one point because I felt so chill about the whole thing. The week leading up to it, I was like, why am I not nervous? I feel like I was more nervous months leading up to it. But when it came down to the final week before, I was not nervous and it was so weird. Everybody was like, are you freaking out? And I was like, no. And I don't get why, and. It was especially weird because, as you guys know, if you listen to this podcast often I talk about a lot that I have anxiety. But weirdly, I wasn't anxious about this event and. I think in retrospect it was because I was so distracted by preparing that I didn't even have time. To sit down and get anxious. You know. And I thought there was something wrong with me. Because they felt really numb about the whole thing. I just. Almost didn't feel anything. The week leading up to the event, I felt nothing. I felt numb. I was excited, but I was also just numb. And it was weird because. I felt like I was supposed to be having anxiety and I wasn't, and it was weird. But I was also relieved because I was like, OK, the less anxiety I have to deal with, the better. But I was like, why am I not? Having a panic attack every night about this. It was so bizarre to me, but. The anxiety and panic didn't really come until. The last hour before I went. That's when things started to pick up and my brain started imploding. It was almost like. My brain couldn't comprehend the fact that I was going. And so it just shut off and felt nothing and was just numb. But then the hour before I left, it all came crashing down. My brain was like, OK, wait, this is actually happening now? Now it's time to get anxious. I am not gonna lie. When? I was walking out of my hotel room after getting ready, and I was all in my outfit and all of that. That's when I started to get anxious. I was the most anxious in the elevator I remember. That's when it hit me. I'm in the elevator. About to get in the car and I was like, Oh my God. I'm so scared. And. In the car I felt a little bit better because I was like, OK, I have a little car ride to relax before I have to, you know, do the thing. So then I felt a little bit better, but then when I got out of the car I got anxious again. And everything happened so fast. It all happened so fast. From the 2nd that I woke up on the day of the event. To the time that I went to sleep that night, it was go, go, go. Umm. And I was just kind of running on adrenaline and like excitement and nervousness all at once. My first impression of the event itself was that it was a lot less scary than I expected. I expected it to be so much more hectic, but it really wasn't that bad. I just, I walked out, you know? There were all the cameras everywhere. I was like, OK, I'm a deep breath. Just, you know, do the three poses over and over again that you know how to do. Try not to trip while wearing your high heels and everything's going to be fine. It is funny how the red carpet is. On stairs, which is so funny because everybody's wearing these extravagant. Outfits and it's so hard to walk in them for most people. For me it was like easy. But for most people, you know, their outfits are like crazy and. Heavy and like, hard to maneuver in. And yet the carpet is on stairs, so that makes it a lot more scary, right? But I wasn't that scared because I was like, this is my dress is easy to walk in, you know? I'm not great at walking in heels, but. I can do it, you know. It was really not that scary and I I honestly. My anxiety shows itself physically. Sometimes. With like shaking really bad or like my heart beating really fast. That happens to me kind of a lot and at really awkward times. Like if I'm meeting somebody for the first time. That will tend to happen to me, and it's so embarrassing because I like, I'll be meeting somebody for the first time and I'll give them a hug and I'll be shaking a little bit and I'll be like, **** I just want this to turn off, you know what I mean? But luckily I didn't have any of that. My body had no physical reaction. I wasn't sweating, I wasn't shaking, my heart wasn't beating. And I was so happy. I was like, thank God, I just like, I felt nervous in my brain, but in my body, like I didn't. And so that was really great. I didn't have a physical reaction, and I was so relieved. Uhm, I took the photos for like 7 minutes. I did some interviews with some press outlet people and then I headed up to the top of the stairs and I. Set up to do my interviews and I was feeling pretty good. The first interview. I did. I was a little bit awkward, I'll say. I don't remember who it was, but. I the first interview I did, I was like, oh God. I don't know what I'm doing like I am I whatever. And the hardest thing for me was like. Remembering to put the microphone close to the person that I was interviewing's mouth, I felt very awkward about that. I was like, am I getting into their personal space? I feel weird. And I also kept forgetting. To put it close to their face. So it was this combination of me feeling awkward doing it, but then also forgetting that I even had to do it in the 1st place. But I got the hang of it by, like, the fifth interview, and everybody was so nice, you know, I wasn't really nervous to meet anybody because to be honest, I, you know, it's like everybody's just a human being. I was like, we're all. It it's not that deep, you know? Like. This is just supposed to be fun, and there's no need to be nervous or to be feel intimidated by anybody like. I just wanted to. Enjoy it and just. Not overthink it and I luckily succeeded at that. It was also interesting because I do have. A little bit of social anxiety and I have a really hard time. Like, you know, being around people for long periods of time and like, my social battery gets drained really easily. So that was another reason why I was really nervous about doing these interviews, because I was like, I get drained by social interaction very quickly. So. I don't know how this is going to go, and I don't know if I'm going to hit a wall at a certain point and freak out or whatever. But the truth of the matter was every conversation was really short and it wasn't too long. It was all very brief and short and sweet but really fun. But nothing dragged on too long to a point where I I felt uncomfortable, you know, it was like when it comes to things like interviews, they're very quick and just fun and to the point. And so it actually wasn't as bad as I thought, and it wasn't as intimidating as I thought because. It wasn't like I was having to have a 2 hour heart to heart with somebody. It was like. Let's just talk about the event and your look for, you know, five minutes and then. Say our goodbyes and that was comfortable for me because I can do small talk. You know what I mean? I can do small talk. All day long, you know, without getting super uncomfortable or anxious, I just get really uncomfortable with hanging out with people for like a long period of time. That's when I tend to get uncomfortable is when I'm at an event or something and I'm talking to someone for like an hour. But maybe I don't want to be in the conversation anymore. Or maybe the conversation is in a place where I don't want it to be, like that's when I tend to get anxious. And emotionally exhausted is like navigating longer conversations. But because the interviews were short, I felt super comfortable because they weren't super deep or emotionally exhausting as much. But I still did get emotionally exhausted by the end. Like by the time I was done with my last interview, I had been interviewing for like 3 1/2 hours, 4 hours. I think it was 3 1/2 hours. And it was time to go into the event and into the dinner. And I was like, Oh my God, I don't know if I I was like, I'm ready to go lay down. Like I am ready to go lay down. But of course I was like, excited. So I went in. And. To be honest, I kind of got what I wanted. I didn't really talk to many people because I was so excited to eat dinner because I I was like, I hadn't really had time to like, drink water or eat a snack while I was interviewing. I was so hungry and so thirsty, so I was like, OK. Being social is my last priority and I'm I'm not. I do not have any desire to strike up a conversation in here right now. I'm just starving. So I ate. All was good. The food was delicious. There were some really cool performances, which was so cool. And the overall experience was, you know, just really cool. It wasn't. As intimidating, though, as I expected. Like I expected to walk into the. Room for dinner, right? And it to be super intimidating, but it just felt like. A restaurant. It felt like a restaurant with just like a bunch of people in it, in. And that was it. And it didn't feel scary. And it didn't also feel like. Anything I hadn't experienced before. I think I expected to walk into the room and feel like, you know, I was in another world, but it just felt normal. It felt normal to me, which was weird. I I don't know why I expected it to be like this scary thing, but it it just ended up literally feeling like I was in a restaurant. Which was great. It just felt comfortable. And I would say that my overall take away from the whole thing is that. It's an amazing event. You know it. It has. I love how. It's technically like a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum. I think that that's really cool because. The museum is beautiful and there's so much incredible art inside. And just being in there, I've never been in there before, actually was my first time stepping foot into the Metropolitan Museum, and there I got to see a lot of the art just because, you know, I had to walk through the building quite a few times and it was so awesome to, like, see the museum. It's such an awesome museum. If you're ever in New York, I really think you should go. I'm not somebody who's a huge museum gal. But this kind of changed my mind because just walking through it. And seeing just a handful of the art that they have to offer was so cool and, like, so awesome. Like, it was awesome. I can't explain it, but it was just really cool and I loved looking at it. Like, I kind of started to understand why people like going to art. Museums, you know, for a second I was like, OK, wait, maybe now I get it. But the events great, you know. It's super fun and exciting to see different. Looks and I obviously love observing fashion and I think a lot of people do, whether they are super involved in fashion or not. I think it's just fun to see what people wear and to form, you know, your own opinion and I think that that's really fun and exciting and I think. That's why the event is so fun, and it was so incredibly. Humbling to get to go myself and. I really did have a great time and you know the whole thing. As much as it is this crazy prestigious event, it is really when it comes down to it. It's just a bunch of human beings dressing up in costumes and walking in a straight line, getting their photo taken and then eating dinner and that's really what it is and I think that. That's not a negative thing. That's just the truth of it. It's just it's not. I always felt like. These sorts of events were. Almost like. Ethereal and. Mysterious and. I I felt like it was going to feel more unfamiliar to me, like I felt like it was going to feel like something I had never experienced before. But everything was very familiar in a weird way. Like, I can't explain that. Very well, I'm struggling but. It. It felt very human. It didn't feel super ethereal and. Supernatural, almost like how I felt it would feel, you know, it was like, I see people walking and you know, everybody's adjust, adjusting their outfits as they're walking, you know, getting their pictures taken and you know, people are nervous and they're. You know, like you can see it in their faces and it it felt human and I thought that that was really cool and. Inside of the dinner. Everybody was just sitting at their table eating and talking and it just felt very human. And that was comforting. And cool to see, because I think that. We as humans put. You know, celebrity culture on this pedestal and. At the end of the day, it. It's crazy how human it is, and as somebody who has always looked at the Met Gala specifically as this sort of. Ethereal. Not human event. It was really interesting to see how truly human it really was. And that was my main take away, was that? It's it's just a bunch of people in a room eating dinner. And that's really what it is. And. I think that that's really cool, but also. The feeling of being there was. Crazy and I just. Have to say I I really, really from the bottom of my heart. Wanna take a second and just really thank you guys for supporting me from the time that I started on the Internet. To now and just being there for me and just watching me grow and growing with me truly. And I met so many of you guys while I was in New York and so many of you. You know, talk to me about the podcast and said, you know, that you enjoyed it and and that just truly means so much to me. And I wish I could. I I am getting choked up right now even talking about it because. All I've ever wanted is just to. Oh my God, I'm getting choked up. I'm not going to grow. I mean, luckily you can't see me, so that makes it easier. But. All I've ever wanted to do was. Make content on the Internet. I hate the word ******* content. All I've ever wanted to do was make things that make people feel understood. And. Empathized with and. I've always just wanted to have the most intimate relationship with you guys that I possibly can, and I've always wanted to just create things that make people feel good and that. Are fun and lighthearted and. I just have always want like my goal with all of this is to make someone's day better in any ******* possible way. That's all I care about. That's all I care about. And I value. The relationship that I have with you guys more than you know, I'm so incredibly grateful and. The fact that I've been able to connect with you guys through the Internet. Even though we, you know, don't always get to meet face to face. The fact that I've been able to grow a relationship virtually with you through. A microphone or through a camera? Is the most one of it's. It's my one of my most prized possessions in life is that. And I know that this whole episode has been extremely narcissistic. I'm just talking about myself and and my experience at the event, and I'm sorry, I promise next episode we will get back to talking about. You guys. I'm, I'm sorry. I I felt I literally halfway through recording this, I had this thought in the back of my head. I was like, I am being such a narcissist right now. I'm just literally talking about me. And it felt so wrong. But also, I just, like, wanted to document this moment in time and share this experience with you guys. So I'm just give me this one episode to be a narcissist. I promise we'll go back and not I will. Literally. It's done after this. I promise, but anyway. I lost my train of thought, but I just wanted to say. How grateful I am. For our relationship and connection and for your constant support. And. I truly felt like. I've never been more loved on the Internet. Then I have this weekend and just. Seeing, you know, everybody you know. All of you were so incredibly nice to me and. Proud of me and you know excited with me and. It just was the most magical. That was what was so magical about this whole thing was. Really? Feeling the love from all of you more than I ever have because I was meeting so many of you. But then also, you know, I was receiving so much love about me attending the event and I just felt so. Truly like loved by the Internet, and it was. So ******* incredible. And I and I I could literally cry, talk, like talking about it, like I'm getting choked up, but I I just. I I felt. So grateful and. I I I wish I could explain how grateful I feel. But I'm just so *******. I'm literally gonna start crying. I have to stop. OK. Thank you from the bottom of my ******* heart for not only getting me here to being able to attend this event. But. For being the most loving people and just supporting me and being there for me through it all, I cannot thank you enough, but I actually have to stop before I start crying like I'm actually. On the verge of tears and I. Don't know how my crying voice sounds and I'm going to avoid crying again because I've already cried about this in the most happy way possible, but I am going to not try to not cry again. Anyway, so that was the that was the Met Gala experience. I did end up after the event. I did end up going back to my hotel. I changed into pajamas. And then I went to a few of the after parties and to be honest, I really have a hard time with parties. I just don't ever really have fun. So I only really went for a few. An hour or so and then I was like, you know what? I'm I'm ready for bed. I had I I socialized a lot. Tonight I'm over it. I'm going to go to bed. 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OK, let's get into some questions I asked you guys on the Twitter to ask me questions about. My experience and you guys delivered, so the Twitter's AG podcast if you ever want to ask questions and participate in the episodes. Let's get into the questions. Somebody said how was it meeting so many famous people? You know, it's funny, I really don't look at celebrities. Any different anymore? And I and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Obviously there are some celebrities that I admire and am excited about. I would say one of the highlights for me was I got to interview Casey Musgrave's and she's the most, she's one of my favorite artists ever and I was losing it. I was so excited. Like yes, I like so I was excited. But at the same time I I still look at her as a like normal human being because. Because I've been on the Internet for so long and I've run into different celebrities here and there randomly throughout this experience, just like living in LA and, you know, different events and stuff like, I just started to realize that. They they're just normal people. And so, which I know is so clean. It is the most ******* cliche thing to say, but it I'm sorry it's true. I like. Look at human beings as a human being. And I base how I feel about them based on their personality and like how they are in real life. And I kind of look at celebrities and their presence on the Internet as a separate entity from like who they are in person. You know what I'm saying? And so I wasn't nervous because it was almost like I was meeting people like anyone. I was just. Getting anyone and it it yes, they might have more followers on Instagram, but like, I was kind of meeting them with this same sort of baseline feeling that I have when meeting any new person, which is just like. Blank slate and they can paint the picture as like who they are. To me in real life, and I'm going to judge from there, you know what I mean? And I'm going to base my opinion from there generally. And so because I go into all of it with such like a neutral headspace, it was really not that crazy to me because, you know, we're all just human beings and so. It's obviously super cool, especially when you admire what someone does, but at the same time it wasn't that scary because I just look at everybody like, you know, they're like. I don't put anyone on a pedestal anymore. So it wasn't that scary or crazy. Somebody said. Do you have any Met Gala bathroom tea? OK, this is such a bummer. But apparently the Met Gala bathroom is like where the party happened. It's like where it where it's at, but I never had to pee. And the bathroom is literally a 7 minute walk away from where the dinner is. So I was a little bit too lazy to walk all the way over there to check it out. So I never went to the bathroom, but hopefully if I get invited again I will check that out. I would say that, you know, this was because this was my first time going. I definitely didn't cover all my bases. I didn't go to the bathroom and see, you know, what goes on in there. I didn't talk to as many people as I probably would have if it was like my fifth Met Gala. You know what I mean? I. Was just trying to. Eat. Like, literally. I I'm not kidding. I got in there and I was just and I just sat down and started eating, like, that's that's literally all I did. Everybody else is like in the bathroom, like, going crazy and, like, socializing and stuff. And I was literally just eating like, that's the whole. That's all I did the whole dinner. I have no regrets. The food was delicious, but like, that's the truth of the matter. I maybe had a less interesting experience than everyone else because I was just kind of like chilling at the table and just, you know, not being too social. But anyway. Somebody said how was it talking to people you know from social media and seeing them in person? I was nervous about this beforehand because there are so many people I followed. And even some people that I had a mutual follow with, you know? That I was going to meet for the first time and I was like, OK, are we gonna like? In LA sometimes. In particular, you know, you meet someone that you follow on Instagram and sometimes people pretend that they don't know you. It's weird. So I wasn't sure if that was going to be the vibe everybody that I met that I followed on Instagram that. Whatever, in general, everybody was so nice. There was no awkwardness. There was no acting like we didn't. Know each other. You know. Everybody was so cool in that way and polite. I honestly was shocked at how sweet everybody was. I I don't think I met one person that wasn't really, really just genuinely cool. Somebody said who is your favorite outfit? I would have to say I really loved, I really loved, I loved so many. I loved rosalia's outfit. Hers was so cool. I really loved Hunter Schafer's outfit. That was incredible. Ah. Kendall Jenner's dress was just ******* amazing. Kim Kardashian's look was amazing. I loved how she was wearing. If you didn't see she was wearing like an all black outfit that covered even her face, like you couldn't see. It was like she was a shadow almost. It was so sick. Oh my God, sweetie looked amazing. I loved her as, ohh I loved Megan Fox's. I honestly loved everybody. Like everybody looked gorgeous and amazing. I like. That was another thing I've never seen that many just genuinely gorgeous people in my life. Like everybody was just dressed up to the nines and had been preparing for days and like, it just was like so crazy to see, you know? Everybody just fully dressed up to their absolute ability and it was like crazy. See that? Many people dressed up to the nines in one place. It was like very cool. It was like everybody just was. So every it was like a show, you know what I mean? Like it was like art almost, and it that was just crazy. It was very like moving to see that many people just. Looking and feeling, you know, their most beautiful and whatever that meant to them. And that was just really cool. Last but not least, last question of the day, somebody asked me what do you think is the biggest misconception about the Met Gala? I honestly think that the biggest misconception would be #1 that everybody there is an *******. Because that's definitely not true. Everybody is just there trying to have fun and just trying to have. A friendly, pleasant experience. I didn't feel like there was any competitiveness or weirdness or, you know, pretentiousness is just everybody was so kind and humble. And I think that that was really cool to see and definitely something that I don't think people would expect. But the other thing was that, you know, it's also a very, it's it's. It's still it. It's. It what I said earlier about the event being some sort of ethereal, out of body experience. It felt very human and it was just a very human event. Everybody was just being themselves. And yes, everybody was all dressed up and yes, you know, we were in a beautiful museum, but at the end of the day it was just. A bunch of people. In crazy outfits and it felt still very normal and comfortable and it wasn't overly intimidating in any way or anything like that. It was comfortable and I think that that was really interesting to me because I just did not expect that. And everybody was just super down to like talk to whoever and hang out and it was just awesome. I mean, it was very chill, even though I again at dinner was not as social as I probably should have been, but whatever. But anyway, thank you guys again for everything. I love you all so much. I'm so appreciative of you guys more than you know. And. Thank you for all of the love and support. You guys are the best. I'm so grateful. This is a moment that I'm going to remember for the rest of my life and I'm just excited and glad that I got to share the experience with you and tell you the story and the real truth behind it. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, you can follow anything goes on any platform that you stream podcasts, you can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. I really appreciate it and I read them all the time and. They're always very touching and you can follow anything goes on Twitter at AG podcast. That's all I got to say. I love and appreciate you guys more than you know, and I'll say it a million more times and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week. We will talk soon.