Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

the instagram illusion

the instagram illusion

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 17:27

This week Emma is talking all things Instagram. Social media can have a lot of pros, but it can also have a lot of cons. From the benefits and why we’re so drawn to it, to the negative effect it can have on our self-esteem and our perceptions of others. How we can manage our use of Instagram, get the most of it, and when is it time to take a break? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ramble. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans. In principle and visit us at principal.com business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit principal.com/disclosures. Hey. What's up? Welcome back to anything goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host and your bestie. I hope you guys are having an amazing week. I am having a kind of crazy week. For starters, I'm selling my house. Umm. Currently, I live in the heart of Los Angeles. Right in the thick of it. And. I'm done. I'm selling this house. And I'm moving somewhere else. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going yet. But I know for certain that I can't live in the heart of LA anymore. Umm. I live. Sandwiched in between two major streets in Los Angeles. And it's just too busy. It's too hectic. It's not relaxing. It's too much. And. When I was actually in New York about a week ago, I had this realization that living in the heart of Los Angeles was not for me. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be moving out of state. I'm going to be staying in California for sure, staying in Southern California. To be specific, but. I'm done living in the heart of LA and Southern California. Los Angeles has so many amazing areas that are relaxing and quiet and peaceful and. I don't know why I didn't. Decide to move into those areas sooner. But I think that part of me was like, I don't want to miss out. I want to be in the heart of everything so that I never miss a beat. But I'm over it like I am over it. The area that I live in is very busy. There's a lot of traffic around me, a lot of people, a lot of tourists, and it's just too much. So I'm selling my house, I'm getting out of here and I'm moving. To a more relaxing area of Southern California slash Los Angeles. I don't exactly know where I'm going yet, but. We'll see. Time will tell, but that's the 1st order of business and let me tell you. Moving and selling a house and all of that is so overwhelming. I forced my mom to come to LA to help me because I don't understand any of this stuff. And so we've been hanging out, my mom and I, and it's been fun. But that's the first reason why I'm overwhelmed. But on top of that, this week. Listen to what happened to me so. When I get really overwhelmed, I. Sometimes get creatively blocked. It's hard for me to film YouTube videos. It's hard for me to record podcasts because my mind is so all over the place with other things that I can't sit down, focus, and. Create these things it it just is hard for me sometimes. If I'm overwhelmed and from all this house stuff, I'm very overwhelmed and so. I spent two days trying to record a podcast that I felt good about, and for some reason, every time I'd press record, I just felt off. And I didn't feel focused, and I felt like my brain was scattered everywhere and I didn't feel like the things I was talking about made any sense. And so I kept starting over and starting over and starting over. And finally. Yesterday I recorded an episode that was perfect. I was like, yes, we did it. You know, it took 72 hours to get an episode that felt right, but I did it and I was so excited when I tell you I. Probably pressed. Start and stop 50 times over the course of that 72 hours. I'm not exaggerating. I just couldn't get it right. Finally I got it right. I send it to my podcast producer. And. He listens to the audio of it, and he's like Emma. You must have bumped one of the settings on your recording device, because the audio is really ****** ** and this episode is not usable. And I was like. Umm what? Oh my God, guys, I lost it. I lost it. I actually didn't cry. That's normally something that would make me cry when I'm overwhelmed, but I feel like. The older I get, the less things phase me. I was really bummed out because I really loved the episode and I felt really good the whole time. I was recording it and it just was flowing and I just loved it. But you know, it wasn't meant to be for whatever reason and so. After about 5 minutes of being really bummed out, I was like, you know what? It is what it is. There's nothing I can do. I can't change it. I'm going to have to post an episode a little late, but. You know what? Life goes on. But it's just crazy how the universe will do that. Like the universe loves to just kind of kick you when you're down a little bit. But. It's those moments that prove to you what you're capable of. You know what I mean? It's like. I was so bummed. That the whole episode was gone and you know, my schedule is so busy right now because of all of this. You know, house stuff. I'm like, you know, people are coming to see my house to see if they want to buy it. I'm going to see houses that I potentially want to buy. And it's like, you know, all that's crazy. But then I also have to do all of my normal day-to-day stuff and so, like an added thing to my schedule right now. Totally freaks me out, but I can do it. I'm capable of it, and this isn't the end of the world and. It is what it is, but I just. I lost it. I was like, holy **** that of course I was like, of course that would ******* happen to me. But. Hopefully this episode sounds beautiful and crispy and gorgeous. And. Whatever. Whatever. OK. The last. Update I need to give you before we get into our topic of today's episode is I got my eyebrows done now? Guys, listen, I don't take care of myself, OK? When it comes to. Pretty much everything, actually. I'll give you a few examples. I have had a rash under my armpit for almost a year now that has not gone away because I'm so bad at putting ointment on it. It's it's just gotten larger and larger and larger and I don't even know what it is. I thought it was ringworm, but I actually think it might be eczema. Having gone to the doctor for it. Don't plan on it so. There's one thing another thing I. Never wear my retainers to bed. I wash my hair like twice a week. I get my hair cut and colored once every few months. When I really should be doing it like once a month because. My hair is really unhealthy, so, like, I need to kind of keep it looking decent, but like it's literally in the worst shape it's ever been and it's like 3 different shades of brown right now because I have my natural. Roots that are like an ashy cool brown, but then the ends of my hair are like orangey brown. And then? Because I have bleach blonde hair under my brown hair right now. There's also like. Light. Streaks. Of like Super Super light, almost blonde brown within it. It's like my hair is like 10 different shades of brown right now. So you kind of get an idea of like. What I'm like. I've just don't take care of myself very well. I do my skin care. I brush my teeth. That's most important. I shower. I shave my armpits. I put on deodorant. Like that's the Max for me. Like that's where I cap out, but. I decided I needed to get my eyebrows done because they were out of control and my eyebrows are very bushy. I mean, not really like, they're not super bushy, but they're definitely there, you know what I mean? And. You can tell when I'm not. Getting plucked. But I rarely ever pluck them or get them plucked. The only time that I ever get them plucked or shaped or anything like that is when I have a photo shoot and the makeup artist is like, hey Queen, we're going to need to fix up this eyebrow because I can't fill it in properly with. Its current state, like it's just not going to work. So they were kind of out of control. So I decided I'd go and get them done. And I did. And it's always so funny because whenever I go in to get my hair done, whenever I go in to get my eyebrows done, even whenever I go in to get my nails done, like my fingernails. I always feel so embarrassed because. The people that are going to do the service for me, always kind of. Treat me like I'm on the show. Queer eye and they're like. Really turning my life around. Does that make sense? If you guys haven't watched queer eye, it's where these guys. It's a show on Netflix. You should watch it. It's great. It's where these guys. Well, who are super fashionable and like, you know, have good taste in things and all of that, they will take somebody who just doesn't have their life together. Terrible style, terrible home decor, et cetera, et cetera. And they'll kind of give them a full life makeover. That's how I feel when I. Go to get any of these services done because I will let things get so bad to the point where. The nail lady is like, oh God like what the like yeah, we need to get nails on you right now or my hair person will be like. Girl, you need to start coming in once a month or I go get my eyebrows done and they're like, wow, you really haven't ever touched these, huh? Like, that's the vibe every time and it's so embarrassing, but I just don't have the energy to keep up with these kind of cosmetic. Appointments. And so it just gets a little bit embarrassing when I show up for my like once every six month appointment. But I always feel very fresh and clean when I do it. So. Currently my eyebrows and fingernails are done, so now I just need to go get a hair appointment and then I'm going to be seriously. Next level. Like, I'm gonna be next level. ******. No, that's not even true. Like, that **** doesn't it doesn't make you ****** but it's like, I'm gonna feel like that ***** if I just get my hair done. Then it's like. Everything will be perfectly put together. I really envy people that. Constantly have their nails done constantly. Have their hair done constantly. Have their eyelashes done. Did already say that? I don't know. Constantly have their eyebrows done. Eyelashes done constantly. Are going and getting facials constantly. Are getting massages. Like, that's like the self-care. And you know, the beauty side of their life is just together. I envy those people because I'm so the opposite. I never keep up with this stuff and I really wish I did, but I really just. Don't. And I think the reason why I don't is because I don't like sitting in a chair for a long period of time. And all of these procedures, nails, eyebrows, eyelashes, hair, all that requires sitting in a chair for like 2 hours and I just don't have it in me, so. I'll never be that girl, and that's OK, because I can just look at those girls. And be like. I envy your patience, you know, like I I envy and admire your patience. OK. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that life update. Let's get into today's episode. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese's base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear, obviously, the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe. I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Today we're going to be talking about Instagram. I know I talk about social media quite a bit on this podcast, mainly because it is a big part of my life whether I like it or not. But. I'm going to be touching on. A few different thoughts that I've had about Instagram within the past week or so that I've had some realizations, I guess, and I just wanted to share. And vent. This all started when a few days ago. I. Was looking through my Instagram kind of analyzing it as if I was a stranger? And. I started to get kind of obsessed with. The quality and the content of every photo and. I started archiving things that I didn't like or things that I didn't feel like. Looked cool. And I scrolled all the way to the bottom of my Instagram and started there and just started archiving things that I didn't really like. Whether it was old photos of me posing in a way that I thought that was cringy, or old photos that I thought were quote UN quote artsy that I actually hated, or even more recent photos that I just. Didn't like for whatever reason. You know when you don't like a photo like it's it's weird. It's like. Maybe it's your face, maybe it's your outfit, maybe it's the background, maybe it's the lighting, whatever it may be. Sometimes it's just like, yeah, I actually don't like this photo. I know I posted it, and I know I liked it in the moment, but I actually hate it now, so I'm going to. Archive it or delete it, whatever. I was doing all of it and I probably. Deleted. Hmm, 70 or 80 photos? And I spent probably an hour doing this and. When I was done. I looked at the clock and realized it had been an hour and I was like Emma. Why did you just spend an hour of your precious time? Going through your Instagram, nitpicking it and deleting things like what did you gain from that? And that really got me thinking. Why? Why do I care so much? And. I realized it's because. I kind of feel like my Instagram is a part of my identity. And I thought more about that. And I was like. I kind of look at people's Instagrams as a part of their identity. Whether it's my friends, whether it's a stranger, whether it's an acquaintance. For some reason. I look at people's Instagrams as an extension of their personality and I use. Instagram. To help build people's identity. In my mind. Does that make sense? I don't know. But. Maybe this example will help. Let's say. I meet somebody at a party and I have a 10 minute conversation with them. I might only learn a few things about them, but when I get home the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to look at their Instagram. And through looking at their Instagram I'm going to fill in the gaps of their personality that I wasn't able to find out in person. And I'm going to build an idea of who they are in my brain based on a combination of our 10 minute conversation and their Instagram. And I'm going to take their Instagram. At face value. And fully just. Add that to my perception of who they are. With no second thought. And a lot of this is automatic and even subconscious. But. In Los Angeles, especially in the world in general, but especially in Los Angeles, I feel like. Your Instagram is a huge part of your identity, and I when I realized this, I was like, we really are living in the matrix y'all. We are really living in the matrix because your Instagram presence, or even just your social media presence in general. Is kind of a part of your identity, whether you like it or not. But the crazy thing about Instagram? Specifically, is that it's pretty much just photos. And. It's virtually no personality. And. You can really curate your Instagram to. Make you look or seem any way that you want if you want to seem like some sort of fashionista gal. If you want to seem like a sporty athlete. If you wanna seem like. A smart. Well read. Intellectual. If you want to seem like. A rock star. You can do all of that. And you don't even have to necessarily be one of those things, but if you want to, you could. Make it seem like that's exactly who you are on your Instagram, just based on. What you post it's that simple. So you can create an illusion that you're the coolest ******* person on this planet. Based on your Instagram, but be a total ******* ****** *** in person and. Based on your Instagram, nobody would know. You know what I'm saying? It's crazy how powerful it is. And. The even crazier part about it is. Through thinking about this more, I started to realize that. I. Will put people on a pedestal. If I think that they have a cool Instagram. I'll give you an example. In Los Angeles. There aren't a lot of people. There are a **** ton of people. But. There aren't a lot of people that you're gonna run into that you know and like in the kind of social media influencer. World. There's only a handful of people, and pretty much all of them live in LA and so. Chances are you're going to stumble upon their Instagram at some point and see them now if you see one of their instagrams and you think that they're cool. And maybe even a little bit intimidating. When you see them in person, you're immediately going to think that they're cool. I've done this, OK? And in reality, you meet them and you're like, OK, they're cool, I guess, but they're not as cool as I would have thought based on their Instagram. They're just a normal ******* person. But I will fully become intimidated by people. If I see their Instagram and they have a cool Instagram. It's the most bizarre thing. It fully affects how I perceive people. Whether I see their Instagram before I meet them or I see their Instagram after I meet them, their Instagram fully changes my opinion of them and it's. Not good. Like this is not something that I like am consciously doing. It's all subconscious. It's all in the back of my head. Like I don't realize that I'm doing this. And I never realized that I was doing this until. I caught myself carefully curating my Instagram. And spending hours on it so that people would perceive me in a certain way. And being somebody who's actually pretty confident socially, I mean, listen, I have my issues. And especially after COVID I'm kind of a mess like I. Lost a lot of my social skills and I. Have a lot more social anxiety and I. And insecure in many ways, as we all are, I still would consider myself to be pretty confident in myself socially. I'm not so concerned about people thinking that I'm cool. I'm never too concerned about people's first impression of me. I'm pretty confident in my ability to. Be charming in a conversation or, you know, for people to like me, I I'm confident that the way that I treat others. Is kind and warm. I'm confident in that. You know, and obviously I'm not perfect, like sometimes I have days where I'm like kind of a *****. But I I, you know, like in general though, I'm pretty confident in my social skills and my abilities and I'm confident that if a person met me in person and gave me 10 minutes of their time that we we could have a great conversation if they were down to do. So I'm very confident in that. And so it's so weird that I'm so self-conscious and so hyper focused on my identity on Instagram because it it's like. Does that really matter? No, because I know that if I were to have a conversation with somebody in person that it would. Be a good one. Like, I I know that I'm capable of that, and I know I'm capable of good first impressions. And so it's just so bizarre that this is such a weak point for me and that I'm so vulnerable on Instagram and I'm so concerned about what my identity is on there, almost as if it's separate from who I am as an actual human being. But this? Has been like this for me since high school I. Remember in high school, going on vacation and making my mom take thousands of photos of me so that I could post pictures on social media so that people from other schools would go on my Instagram and think I was cool? Or, you know, even people from my own high school would think I was cool. Like I totally remember. Doing that even before I. Maybe had a slightly larger audience or very much larger audience, I guess. But you know what I'm saying, like this is not something that. I'm dealing with now because I have a following like I've been doing this. Sense. I was probably 1415. And. I think we're all doing it. Without even realizing it. We're all trying to create the perfect version. Of ourselves on Instagram. Through photos. Because that's an extension of our identity that we can control. But. The difference between controlling your identity, you know, with face to face conversation and stuff like that and controlling your identity on Instagram is that on Instagram it's a lot easier to fake it. You can really fake it. Whereas in person it's a lot harder because if, let's say, you want to come off as a well read, articulate, smart. Person. Intellectual. You could totally make it look like that on Instagram by posting photos of, you know, **** I don't know books. The you know what I'm saying? People would just take that at face value and be like, oh, that person's probably an intellectual, and they're probably really smart and they're probably, you know, really into books, whatever. But in person, if you try to fake being an intellectual, people are going to see right through that real quick because you're not going to be able to. Hold up in a conversation, you know, but you don't have to hold up. A conversation on Instagram, you just post a photo, people take it at face value, and then that's now a part of your identity. And so that's why it's almost so dangerous, because. People can create any story that they want. People can. Create any illusion they want, and because you consume Instagram so quickly, you only look at a photo on your feed for probably a second before you scroll to the next one, and you just take it at face value and you move forward. It's dangerous because. You're taking. These exaggerations of people's lives or even these lies that people are putting out there and you're taking it as fact because it's all happening so fast when you're scrolling. For example, let's say somebody posted a photo with their BAE. And they're, you know. On a cruise ship in Alaska, and they look so cute together. They're they're kissing and they just look like the happiest couple ever. Chances are he's cheating on her. Probably. You know what I'm saying? But. You're going to see that photo and be like, damn like, I wish my relationship was like that. When in reality, it's like you're just seeing one moment. You don't ******* know. You don't know what is going on behind the camera or let's say you see somebody you know. On vacation in Bora Bora and they look like they're having the best time. They're with all their friends. It looks like an amazing time. You don't know what's going on on that trip. That person and all their friends could be fighting. And that could be like the one. Happy moment of the whole trip is that one photo, but the rest of the trip was a nightmare you'd never know. You know what I'm saying? Because people only share the best moments. It's the highlight reel. Everybody knows this. That's stale topic of conversation. Everybody knows that Instagram is a highlight reel. But I think what people aren't talking about is how it is truly an extension of your personality. And that's what's so ******* weird and scary about it and so powerful and. I don't really know. The solution? You know what I'm saying, I don't really know. How we like, stop this or control this or what we do about this. That's not really why I came on here to talk about it. I just wanted to put it on everybody's radar, you know what I'm saying? Because. Once I had this realization, I realized how truly stupid it is. And even if people do judge me off my Instagram, and even if people do fill in the gaps of my identity and personality based on my Instagram. Who cares? I don't want this to control me. You know what I'm saying? Like I and it doesn't necessarily control me, but I don't want to be so concerned about it, and I'm done being so concerned about it. But the first step for me was realizing. How my brain was processing Instagram, you know what I'm saying? We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop is such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. To hire this year because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's. If you need to get some stuff for fallcheckoutmacys.com, that's macys.com. You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. Now that I've **** on Instagram for 1520 minutes, I wanna talk about. The positive positive. I want to talk about the positive side to it, because I don't think it's all bad, right? I think there's a lot of creativity in creating this illusion on Instagram, and I think that that's a beautiful thing, and I've talked about this before on this podcast. There is an art in creating an illusion. There is creativity in that, you know, whether that's posting photos of, you know, fashion, or posting photos of art, or posting photos of. Books that you like to read posting photos of. A pretty flower that you saw posting photos of a pretty building that you saw, whatever it may be like. Curating your Instagram to. Match your vibe and your aesthetic of life is a creative thing, and it's fun. Like, I enjoy taking photos and I enjoy posting photos on Instagram. I have fun with it. It's creative for me, like putting together outfits that I'm excited about. Like, that's all really fun. And you know, even just seeing a building or something that I think is pretty and taking a photo of it and posting it, like, that's exciting to me. Posting a photo of like a really delicious meal I ate, like, whatever it may be. I enjoy that stuff it and I think that it is very creative. Where I think it gets taken too far is when you're obsessed. With. Your Instagram as a whole and the story that you've created here and the identity that you've created, that's when it gets toxic, is when you become obsessed with. How your Instagram would look as a as if you were a stranger looking at it. That's when it's bad. So I'm gonna try to find a balance between enjoying posting and, you know, enjoying being creative with. Clothes or photos or whatever it may be. I like continuing to enjoy that and participate in it, but also not be so concerned with how my Instagram is perceived by. Whoever decides to look at it, especially strangers. Umm. It's crazy. It's crazy how much Instagram specifically has affected. How we be social and how we perceive people and how we choose who we want to hang out with and how we choose who's worth talking to. It's so interesting. So interesting. But I think another thing that I'm gonna try to do. Is. To not. Envy people based on their Instagram because. We gotta remember the truth of the matter here, which is that it's all fake and. I think subconsciously I will compare myself. To other people's style, to other people's life relationships. Vacations that they go on, work that they. Have an accomplished like. You know what I'm saying? I subconsciously compare myself. But. I don't wanna do that anymore and I'm gonna really try to look at Instagram. At a surface level and just kind of. Enjoy the content and take inspiration from it and then move on and not compare myself to it because I know how surface level this **** is like. I post a photo of a bagel, right? And little does everybody know that I spent 5 minutes. Posing the bagel so that the bagel looked appetizing. And then another 5 minutes getting the perfect angle so that this bagel looks perfect to post it on my Instagram. Everybody probably just thinks that I just snapped a photo of it and then move it on. No, you know, or if I post a cute photo in an outfit, OK. Wait, did I just call myself cute? Oh no, let's say I post a picture of myself in an outfit. In like a kind of cool location. Little does everybody know that I took 1000 photos to get that one photo I. Had to yell at my mom for 20 minutes because she wasn't getting the angle right. Like nobody knows that that's what happened, OK? But if people knew that, they wouldn't. Compare themselves as much, I really don't think. And so I need to start realizing that if that's my reality, that's everybody else's reality too, OK? No matter how casual and effortless and cool somebody's Instagram may seem. That's not the truth of it. And I'm also going to stop putting people on pedestals just because they have a cool Instagram. Like when I tell you, Oh my God, like, I've been so intimidated by people because they had a cool Instagram and that's so embarrassing. Like, what? Are you kidding me, Emma? Really? Come on. You're better than that. Anyway. I asked you guys asked some questions about Instagram related things, the pros and cons to it just so we could have a little conversation. You and me. A little back and forth if you want to participate in the Q&A segment of these episodes. The twitters at AG podcast. Follow if you want. Do what you want with that information. Anyway, let's get into the questions. OK, first question, somebody said every time I try to post something I get really nervous, so I just don't because I feel judged. Do you have some advice for me? Yes, I do have some advice for you because I totally get this. I sometimes get anxiety before I post a photo. Because I'm just like. Ohh do I look like I'm trying too hard? Do I look ugly? Does my outfit look weird? Is the background weird? Like, you know I'm always questioning myself, right? As we all do as human beings. But then I remember that. When people are scrolling through Instagram, they look at each photo. On their feed for probably. Half a second. And then they like it and then they scroll past like. People aren't just. Sitting there staring at your photo for an hour, nitpicking it. People literally look at each photo on their feed for probably 1/2 a second to a second Max like I can't tell you. A time where I've sat there and like zoomed into people's photos and was like looking at stuff, like, no, I look at it for a second, I like it, and then I move on. It's not that deep, you know what I mean? And when you look at it like that, it becomes so much more. Chill, you know, and a lot less scary. Because. Nobody's paying attention to the stuff that you're paying attention to. Nobody's nitpicking the photo like you are. It's not that deep, you know, take it easy, go easy on yourself and just have fun with it. Because at the end of the day, Instagram again, it means nothing. And as much as I just talked about how it, you know, changes people's perception of your personality, it's still not that deep. It really isn't it. It's it's just not that deep and even though. People may. Take your Instagram posts and add that to their perception of who you are. That still doesn't make it that important. Does that make sense? Like, yes, that is a part of it. But at the same time like. Who you really are in person is what. Shines through everything. You know what I'm saying? So **** all of it. Just post what you want, have fun with it. And don't put too much pressure on yourself to make everything so perfect. Nobody's judging you as much as you think they are. Trust me. Somebody said, has your relationship with Instagram and your views on it changed from being an influencer and gaining a platform on there? Yes and no. I've always been kind of weirdly obsessive about my Instagram. Like since before everything. I already talked about that a little bit, but. It really hasn't changed much because I've always been obsessed with. What my Instagram looks like to a stranger, and although it may be on a slightly different scale now. I'm still. Equally as obsessed with it as I was before, which is very bizarre. I don't. I just always been somebody that's. Been. Into curating my personality on the Internet, and it's interesting how. I ended up here. Somebody said I had to delete Instagram because of the toxicity. I just don't like seeing the life I could be having. I love this. I think this is so healthy if you are somebody that cannot. Separate Instagram from reality and you take everything at face value and your brain cannot distinguish. Accurated more. Perfect version of people's lives and it. Is ruining your mental health. Delete that ****. I deleted my Twitter because that was not a place or a platform that felt. Positive to me, and it was the best decision I ever made. You don't need to have a social media. At all. You don't need to have any social media platforms downloaded on your phone if you don't want to. You don't need to have an account. You don't need to be a part of it. It's optional. I think people think that they need to be present on social media because it's such a. Prominent part of our society these days, people feel this responsibility to be present on these platforms, but you don't need to. And if anything, it's healthier and better not to be. I enjoy it, but even I sometimes wish that I could just delete everything because. It's so hard to find a balance and it takes so much discipline and it's almost impossible to have the perfect balance between real life and social media that. Deleting it is not a bad idea and. I love that you did that for yourself and I encourage anybody who is negatively affected by social media. To just delete that ****. You'll realize. Immediately. How much? You don't need it, but for some reason I think we as humans feel like we need it. Because it's just so. Big. In our lives. But the second that you delete it, it's gone and you move on and trust me, I think that you'll be better for it. But also, if you still enjoy it, just work on trying to make a better balance. And also remember that everything's ******* fake, you know? It's not easy to have a healthy relationship with social media. It's all about finding your perfect strategy so that you have the perfect relationship with social media, whether that's deleting it completely or finding balance. Everybody's different. Really prioritize finding that balance. Somebody said does your mood change depending on whether a post gets more or less likes? Thank God it doesn't. I've been really lucky that my brain for some reason doesn't. Really care about likes and I never really have. I mean, obviously I'll have videos that I post on YouTube or you know, photos on Instagram that get less likes and it's like. Sometimes I'm curious. I'm like, hmm, I wonder where that photo didn't perform as well. Or I wonder why that video didn't perform as well. But I never, like, let it affect my mood. Like, it never affects my mood. I may notice it and I may be curious about it. Or, you know, I may be like, ohh, that kind of sucks, but it never effects my mood at all. It's very surface level for me. I don't care. And I'm really lucky because I know some people really get bummed out when their photos don't perform well, or their videos on YouTube don't perform well, or even their tick tock doesn't perform well, whatever it may be. I just don't care. And that's not really like the purpose of social media for me. I just more want to share fun stuff for whoever wants to look at it and like, you know? Try to be as creative and have as much much fun as I possibly can without getting too obsessed with it. Hmm. But that's my purpose. I I'm not trying to be, you know, the most ******* famous person on Instagram, OK? That's my nightmare, personally, so. I really don't mind if you know my posts don't perform that well. Like it just doesn't bother me. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. 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And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. Somebody said you've been posting your outfits for years, but what do you think you'll post when you're 30 or so? In an ideal world. I will be posting photos of me and my husband in France drinking wine. On a cruise ship. Or. Maybe still be posting fit pics. **** it. No, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I do know for sure though, that I will never post photos of my children. I do want to have kids. I know that's kind of a crazy thing to say. Like, so many people don't have kids these days, which I totally get. I mean, whatever, follow your dreams. But I wanna have, I do wanna have kids, but I'm not posting them on social media, that's for sure. And I'm. Also. Not gonna let them have social media until they're begging me for it, so. Anyway, but. We'll see. Well, I have no idea. Maybe I won't even post on Instagram anymore when I'm 30. I have no idea. I take things day by day, baby. I I don't know. Somebody said how can I get into casual posting? So for people who maybe don't know, casual posting on Instagram is. Kind of posting photos that are more effortless, not posed. Not necessarily taken on a super nice camera, just like very casual photos. Maybe like a photo of. Food or like a funny photo of you and your friends or. A photo of like, *** **** on the ground. Just like casual stuff, not like. Super polished photos of you in a cute outfit. Sitting on a cute cafe, like something a little bit more casual. That's what casual posting is. It's very trendy right now. I get it. I'm kind of. I like it. I have fun with it sometimes. I mean, I think casual posting is like. Just. Taking the pressure off Instagram for yourself, you know, realize, OK, wait, this actually doesn't matter that much. It's really not that deep. And I'm just gonna post whatever I want and just like being spontaneous about it. Like, don't overthink **** anymore. Because I think the problem with like, wanting to be casual on Instagram or wanting to switch up your types of posts on Instagram, people are like, Oh my God, this is scary. Because. How are people going to react? Nobody cares, dude. Nobody cares except for you, really. So just have fun with it, post whatever you want and don't put so much pressure on yourself. Take the pressure off, eliminate it completely, and then casual posting will come so naturally. You know. But the thing about casual posting is that there's two types of it. There's actual casual posting. Where it's like literally just snapping a random photo and then posting it immediately and it just being like very candid. And then there's fake casual posting where people will. That's kind of more like what I do. Like I casually post, but like, I really. Will still put effort into getting the perfect casual photo, you know what I mean? For example, like I posted a photo of a bagel. Probably 2 weeks ago. And I spent probably 10 minutes getting the perfect photo of this bagel. And that would probably be considered a more casual post, right? Cause it's not a picture of me and it's. Just casual. Whatever. But I still spent 10 minutes on the photo. Like that to me is fake casual posting. You know what I'm saying? I think both can be fun, but I think it's so funny. Like how? People will really try to seem so effortless on their Instagram, but actually a lot of effort goes into looking effortless on Instagram and seeming effortless on Instagram. It's funny and so ironic. But anyway, just take the pressure off and have fun with it. Somebody said you have. Quite a few followers on Instagram. Does it ever get super intimidating to post? Normally, no it doesn't because I forget. That a lot of people follow me. And then every once in a while I'll remember. Like, Oh my God, like, a lot of people are about to see this photo. It totally freaks me out. It Sykes me out. Makes me wanna delete all social media platforms and go and live in Alaska somewhere with no Wi-Fi. But then I just. Force myself to forget about it and. Move on. But it definitely does freak me out if I think about it too deeply. So I do everything in my power not to think about it too hard. Somebody said, have you ever had an Instagram crush? Yes. And I mean, of course, like. I've had a Tik T.O.K crush. I've had a YouTube crush. I've had a. Instagram crushed, like all of it. I mean, come on. You know, da. But it's so funny because I feel like having a crush on somebody just based on their social media can really go both ways. You know, you can think somebody is so cool based on their Instagram. And then you meet them and you're like, I'm very disappointed and that's usually what's gonna happen because. If you have a crush on somebody based on their social media, that means you have a crush on. The perfect version of themselves. The perfect version of their lives, not really who they are. And so you're probably going to get your hopes up a little bit too much, you know? Because you're really just basing your crush on their appearance and their overall, like, aesthetic, if they even have one. You know what I'm saying? Or even if they are like an athlete, you're going to be like, oh, this is going to be like, you know, they're going to be so sporty and, like, hot while probably not OK, it's like, who knows? You're probably going to be disappointed. I know I've been disappointed. Like I've had crushes on guys. Like, secretly. Nobody's ever known about these crushes, and they've never gone anywhere. But I've had crushes on guys on Instagram and then I've, like, met them out and about, like, just, you know, socially. You just meet a bunch of people in LA. It's how it works. And then I'll be like, I don't actually like them in real life. But on the other hand, there's been people on Instagram where I've been like, oh, God, like, I don't. Like, they're just intimidating. Like, I don't think I would ever be able to get along with this person because they're just too cool for me. Whatever. And then I've met them and been like, Oh my God. We actually like them more than I even thought I would like. I thought they would be like a ****** *** or I thought that they would be. Umm. Too cool in a sense. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how to explain that, but it's like, sometimes you'll see someone's Instagram. You're like, they're just too cool, dude. Like, I I just don't even wanna, like, go there. Like, I can't even. Whatever. And then you meet them and you're like, wait, they're actually really cool and sweet and nice. Like, you never know what you're getting yourself into with Instagram. It's so misleading. I mean. I bet many people have seen someone's Instagram and been like, Oh no, I would never date this person. And then like, Fast forward six months, they're dating that person. Like, you really just can't judge based on someone's Instagram. You just can't. But I also think having a crush on people just through social media is fun and innocent. Like it's not going to hurt anyone, you know what I'm saying? Like. It's not hurting anybody. But just don't get your hopes up. You know what else is funny? Going off on? Another tangent is I have met guys in person for the first time. Like that was my first impression of these people not knowing who they were on social media or whatever. I've been like, Oh my God, this guy's actually cute and cool, whatever. And then I've gone on their social media and been like, I don't know anymore. I don't know anymore. Which is ****** **. I mean, like, that's not nice of me, but that's definitely happened where I've been. Like, you know what? I don't know if our vibes really match as much as I thought they'd. So, you know, you just never know. Somebody said, do you think people create a personality especially for Instagram 1000%? And I think for some people it's like, OK, I'm just gonna elevate my already existing personality and make it perfect. And then for other people, it's like I'm just creating a whole new identity. And I think there's creativity and fun to be had in both. But. It still can be damaging with both, you know what I'm saying? And so. And that's why I love YouTube so much, because you can't really fake a personality on there. You definitely can, and people do it all the time. But it's a lot harder, in my opinion, to have a fake persona. Actually, that's not necessarily true, because I remember when I first started my YouTube channel, I didn't know how to not. Have a persona. I didn't know how to talk to the camera normally like my brain immediately. Made me talk a different way than I did in real life and made me behave in a different way than I did in real life. And eventually I figured out how to just be me. And now that's like. Automatic, you know, I can't even turn that off now, but I know you know, people do have facades on every platform. But at least on YouTube, there's more room. To show who you really are because it's long form video content, right? So you have this space to include your personality if you really want to, whereas on Instagram it's just a lot. More surface level. It's just photos. So if you want to create a facade, it's so much easier, you know what I mean? Because you don't have to talk if you don't want to. You can just post a photo and a photo will speak 1000 words. You know what I'm saying? You post one photo. Of. You had a concert and now everybody thinks that you're the life of the party. You see what I'm saying? And so you know. You post one photo of a book, everybody thinks that you went to Harvard. It's like that easy. You know? You don't even have to be smart in real life. You could literally just post a photo of a book and people be like, Oh my God, she's so smart, you know? Somebody said my mom has never let me use Instagram. Do you think this rule is justified? I do. I mean, listen, I'm not gonna give Instagram to my kids until. It needs to happen, if that makes sense. Like, I'm not going to be the one to introduce my kids to social media. I'm gonna let their peers at school introduce them to social media. And then once they come to me and they're like, hey, my friend does an Instagram, I kind of want one. Then I have a long and lengthy conversation about. How Instagram isn't real. How can affect your mental health? How to have a healthy balance with it? And then I'll let them have it, but I'm definitely gonna avoid it for as long as possible. I I think that you know your mom is actually doing you a favor because your trust me, you're not missing anything. Like you're really not. But it's also hard because you know you're going to be excluded from some things because social media is such a big part of how we communicate and what we communicate about these days and so. You know, you might feel excluded because you don't have an Instagram. While you may not be missing anything, I can totally understand why that could be frustrating and that's why I'm. Going to let my kid have social media, but I'm just gonna really. Nail it into their brains that they need to. Be careful, you know. Somebody said, do you stalk people on Instagram all the time? I stalk people on Instagram all the time. It's like one of my favorite hobbies. Random people. Like friends of Friends of friends. Like mutual friends that have mutual friends. Like I just stalk people all the time. Random people like I love it. Because sometimes it's inspiring. Because it's like, oh, I like this girl's style. Like, I wanna check this out. Or sometimes it's like, oh, this person is in such a cute relationship. Like, I love seeing all these couple finals. Like, whatever it may be like I do enjoy. Stalking people on Instagram. Somebody said, do you spend a lot of time choosing what photos you'll post? Do you consider a lot of stuff before posting? Uh, yeah. I mean, I spend a pretty long time picking what photo I'm gonna post sometimes. I mean, sometimes it's like. Just like, oh wait. This one's perfect. I'm just going to post this one like it, but rarely it's like that. Usually I'll take like 1000 photos, pick my top three, post em. Call it a day, whatever. When it comes to like Instagram stories and stuff like that, that's very mindless. I don't put really any effort into that. I'll just post random ****. But when it comes to like, feed posts, I will definitely spend a solid 30 minutes picking out the perfect photo. I've started to get. Crazy to a point where I will even edit like I OK, there was like a thermostat in the back of my photo that I posted a few weeks ago and I edited out the thermostat because it was bothering me because I just felt like it was getting in the way of the photo. Like you just didn't look cute in the photo. Like I'll spend time doing **** like that too, which is just so stupid like. Literally editing a thermostat out of a photo like what is this? How have we gotten to this point? But. Somebody said how can I have enough confidence to actually post something? I always end up deleting it because it doesn't match the perfect expectation. I think before you know you even. Start to be concerned about having the confidence to post on Instagram. Work on yourself first. You know what I mean. Let's take Instagram out of this equation and. Work on growing confidence within yourself. Without social media being a part of the picture, you know what I mean. Confidence comes from much deeper. OK, so. Try to find confidence in other areas of your life, whether that's. Becoming more confident socially and. Learning how to enjoy conversation and be confident in conversation, or it's gaining more hobbies so you feel like. You have more to offer as a person when it comes to conversation or you know, whatever, like. Find confidence within yourself and then Instagram will just become easy because you're like, well, I'm confident in myself through and through now, so Instagram is like, **** it, I don't care. Like, I'm confident enough for this **** because I'm confident in my real life socially and. In your abilities and all of that. That will make the Instagram thing seem like cake, you know what I mean? Somebody said, do you have a finsta? I don't have a fence there anymore, but I used to in high school and literally it was so fun. If you don't know what a fence day is, a fence is basically like a more private Instagram. Where you just post whatever the **** you want, like you just post random ****. And there's no like, you know, it's not like you're trying to post cute outfits like, stuff like that. It'll be like, you'll post an ugly picture of your face and be like, Oh my God, like, and you'll tell a funny story in the caption. And the only people that follow it are like, your close friends and maybe your family. I know my close friends and all my family followed mine. And it's just like a fun place where you can post, like, random ****. And it's fun. I loved having a finsta in high school. Because. I, like, really got creative on there. Like, I would post funny **** and sometimes I'd like post post like, you know, at the time when I had a fan star, I was a cheerleader, so I'd post like. Photos and videos of me doing cheerleading stuff. If I like, learned a new skill or something, I'd share it on there. But I also, like, had fun making funny posts on there, and at one point my friends and I in high school. Actually started making these dance routines during lunch at school and I would record them on my laptop and then during my next period after lunch I would edit. Our dance routine. In a similar style to actually how I edit my videos now, which is like very fast-paced and kind of like funny and like sound effects and like meme text all over the screen and I would edit them all crazy like that and try to make them funny. Umm. And then I would post them on my finsta at the end of school every day. And then all of the people that followed my finsta could enjoy them. And we had so much fun with that. Like, it was genuinely so fun. And. It was like kind of my intro to editing actually like it was when I first started to get creative with editing and it was actually for my finsta. So I can credit my Finn stuff for giving me my editing style. But see, it was like. I wouldn't have posted those videos on my normal Instagram, of course not because I was trying to be a cool baddie on my Instagram, but on my finsta I was like, I'm just gonna post fun stuff so my friends and I would have a lot of fun with our fans. Does and I know a lot of people. Have bad experiences with the whole, like fenced off phenomenon, you know? Because like there can be a lot of drama on there and people can post like mean, ****** ** **** on there about other people because they feel like they can say whatever they want because it's their private Instagram, their secret Instagram if if that's how they're looking at it and that's ****** **. But like if you go about it in a fun, funny, creative way, I think fences are great. Somebody said is Instagram a casual thing to you? What are your thoughts on being casual on Instagram? So I already kind of touched on this. I don't think I'm casual on Instagram. I think I act like I am and I like want to create that vibe. But like in reality, I don't think I'm very casual. I mean, I don't need every photo to be perfect. I don't wear makeup and a lot of my photos I like. I'm not like a perfectionist in that sense, but I definitely like my photos to be. Good quality, you know, like, I like them to look pretty to a certain extent. Like the lighting needs to be good and like stuff like that. And like, I don't want to look ugly. I mean, sometimes I'll post a photo, but maybe isn't. The cutest, but like, I'll do that on purpose. I like to have control over the whole thing. I'd say my Instagram is like 50% casual, like it's not. As casual as some people, but I don't take it that seriously. But I'm not like I I still be taking 1000 photos and finding my three favorites. So, like, whatever. Somebody said how do you stop focusing on the number of likes and comments and just let it be? My friends are always comparing their likes and comments. I don't get as much as them and it always makes me feel insecure when it shouldn't. Think about it like this. At the end of your life. When you're on your deathbed. I know this is kind of morbid, but just. Bear with me here. At the end of your life and when you're on your deathbed, are you going to remember how many likes you got? On your prom photo. Are you going to remember how many likes you got on that selfie? I really don't ******* think so. This **** is meaningless. It's meaningless. It's like. Worthless. It's it's likes are worthless. Virtually. And they mean nothing. It has nothing to do with. How good of a friend you are, how good of a person you are, how kind you are, it has nothing to do with. Who you really are in your core and at the end of the day, I can guarantee. The amount of likes you got on your Instagram post. Is going to be the last thing that you care about at the end of the day, you know what I'm saying? Like. It just means nothing. You just have to remind yourself how meaningless all of it is. Really, look at that from a bird's eye view. OK, step back. And look at the concept of likes. And realize how dumb it is. The key to not taking all of this so seriously is to step back for a second. And look at it. From above and be like, OK, wait, what are we dealing with here? This is not that deep. It really isn't like you have, but you have to step back and you have to. Look at it with a new perspective. You know what I mean. You can't. When you're all immersed in it and you're scrolling on your feed, good luck trying to distinguish reality from your Instagram. It's gonna be difficult. But if you step back for a second and really think about it, none of this **** matters. Somebody said what do you think about young kids being on social media and seeing all the Photoshop pictures and fake bodies thinking it's the real world? I think it's extremely ******* harmful and I know that it harmed me as a young person and caused me a lot of issues. And to this day it continues to cause me issues as a 19 year old. And I'm trying to figure out everyday how to stop. But it's so subconscious. That I don't have an answer, but that is exactly why I am going to avoid letting my kids. Have an Instagram for as long as possible. Trust me, because this **** ****** me up and I know it's ****** all of us up. And so I'm going to do everything I can do to avoid. Putting my kids through that. Somebody said, do you think Instagram is a healthy social media source compared to the others? I'm actually going to tell you my rank of social media platforms, from most negative to least negative. Here's my hot take. I think the most toxic is Twitter. For sure. Second, most toxic, I might say Snapchat. Because. Snapchat is not positive to me. #1 the whole Snapchat streak thing. Causes so much drama. Whoever your best friend is on Snapchat causes a lot of drama. On the home page of Snapchat. There's all those, like, news articles, if you know what I'm talking about. All of those headlines are so incredibly toxic. Clickbait. Seeing other people's stories can be really toxic because people are just like bragging about what they're doing. All the time I snapchats. Just toxic to me. Third most toxic. Tik T.O.K. I think Tik T.O.K can actually be really great, but I think it's really toxic because you can number one, you can scroll on it for so long and like time just disappears, but also because a lot of people hate on there. It can be a really hateful place. It can also be a very positive place. So it really depends on the day and like, whatever, but things can get blown up on there and like people will just go crazy. Hating on people on there and I've seen it happen. So I'd say tick tock is number 4, #5 is Instagram. I don't think Instagram is the most toxic. And I think it is in fact the 4th because although you're, you know, comparing yourself to other people. Subconsciously, all day long when you're on Instagram. You're also doing that. On tick tock. And you're also doing that on Snapchat. Like, I feel like that happens everywhere. So I feel like Instagram at least is more creative and I feel like it's a lot less of a hateful platform. I may be wrong about that, but that's just my experience. And then last but not least, I would say YouTube. YouTube to me, I think is so positive. Of course, hate and negativity exists on every platform, but I feel like on YouTube, things are primarily positive. And for me personally, I feel like I have the most loving community on YouTube. Ever. And I mean seriously, like, I just feel like. I have such a great connection with the people that watch my videos on YouTube and so I just feel such a like, I feel like it's such a safe place for me. And it hasn't always been that way, but I think recently it's been the most positive and the most kind platform. So that's my ranking. Let me know what you guys think. Tweet at me at AG podcast and let me know what your rank is. Anyway, I'm done y'all. I really love talking to you guys this week, hanging out with you guys this week. I really hope that I don't have a technical difficulty again. Let's just manifest that that never happens again. But if you enjoyed this episode, let me know. You can tweet at me at a G podcast. Follow the Twitter too if you want to participate in future episodes. You can also give anything goes a little rating on Apple Podcasts. I went through and read some of the ratings that you guys left for me the other day. I'm not kidding, I. Got choked up. And I I really have not cried in a long time like I don't. Cry anymore like I swear to God I haven't cried in. Probably. Two or three weeks. And which is crazy for me and I genuinely got choked up because you guys are so sweet and I'm so. Grateful that you guys enjoy listening to this podcast and enjoy coming back every week and hanging out with me. It really means the world to me because I love doing it and I feel like I'm just talking on the phone with you guys and the fact that, like, you feel that too is just like it's all I could ever want. And so seeing your guys reviews seriously made me like. Choked up for the first time in weeks and I I just appreciate you guys more than you could ever know and subscribe to. Anything goes on any platform that you stream podcast. If you want to see when new episodes come out and I'll see you guys next week, I'm manifesting a happy, positive, beautiful week for you and I encourage you to put your phone down. Stop looking at Instagram. Stop obsessing over your social media presence. And enjoy the real world, because that's all we got at the end of the day. Alright, I love you guys. Bye. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil what are some good reasons somebody should buy now. That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Hard Nissan recognize that. So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases get one year identity theft Protection 3 Virginia State inspections and multi point inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange and. Every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course, money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. 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