Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.
Thu, 15 Sep 2022 07:00
today we're going to be talking about temptation. which, in my opinion, is one of the most challenging things we deal with as human beings. it's something we deal with whether we're 2 years old or 102 years old. the temptations can change as we get older, but some form of it is always there. the reason i think it's so hard to deal with, is because in the short term, it's often easier and more fun- there's instant gratification. the problem is, usually things that are tempting, that you know are wrong, will end up leaving you miserable down the line. no one gets away with it - the universe doesn't work like that. i feel like it's the fighting of a temptation that helps you grow into a more morally solid person. it's so important for your self-development, self-esteem and more...recently i had my own sort of awakening with resisting temptation that really clicked for me and that's what i want to talk about today. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ramble. This episode is presented by DoorDash. Use promo code anything when you download the app for 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers, retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans from principal and visit us at principal.com/business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group, but it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit principal.com/disclosures. Ohh. Today we're going to be talking about temptation, which in my opinion is one of the most challenging. Things that we deal with as human beings. It's very constant and it never goes away for your whole life. It doesn't matter if you're two years old or you're 102 years old. Temptation follows us throughout our lives when you're 2 years old. You fight the temptation to steal a candy bar from your friend at preschool. And when you're 102 years old, maybe you're fighting the temptation to steal a magazine from the library like temptation is always there. The temptation to do things that don't align with you morally. The reason why I think temptation is so difficult to deal with. Is that? There are a lot of scenarios in life when. Not sticking to your moral code. Not doing the right thing is so much easier and is so much more fun and is so much more exciting in the moment. That's why things are tempting. Because. In the moment they'll give you instant gratification. You'll instantly. When you know what I mean, you'll have an instant hit of excitement. The problem is usually things that are tempting, that you know are wrong. We'll end up leaving you. Miserable down the line, nobody gets away with succumbing to a temptation. To do the wrong thing, like nobody ever gets away with it. I think people sometimes feel like they're gonna get away with it, like I've felt like before. Ohh. Maybe I could get away with doing the wrong thing just this once, but no, life doesn't work like that. The universe, the way that the cookie crumbles, it never works like that. You never get to just cheat life and get away with it. It just doesn't work like that. Succumbing to a temptation is the easy choice. Fighting it is what's difficult and. I feel like it's the fighting of a temptation that helps you grow into a more morally solid person. Now I actually feel like I sound like a cult leader right now because I did briefly go to Catholic school. And not that. Not that Catholicism is a cult. That's not what I'm saying. OK, so don't ******* twist my don't you dare twist my words. But. I feel like I sound like a religious leader right now because I I just remember in Catholic school, like talking about resisting temptation in life. But for some reason when I was in Catholic school, it didn't click for me at all because the temptations that were being discussed were things that. I wasn't necessarily morally against, like, for example, having sex before marriage. Morally, I I wasn't opposed to that. I was like, I'm going to have sex before marriage. So that doesn't really click with my brain, but recently? I kind of came to my own conclusion about resisting temptation, and I had my own sort of. Awakening that did click with my brain and that's what I wanted to talk about today because. What I've realized is resisting temptation, even when. Doing the wrong thing is so easy and seems like it's gonna be so rewarding, in that it'll be fine and that you'll get away with it resisting that and doing the right thing, even if it's behind closed doors and no one ever knows that you did the right thing when you didn't have to. That is such a powerful thing. For your own. Self development for your own self esteem. For your own well-being. It's so important, so I just wanted to talk about it today, succumbing to temptation when the temptation forces you to go against your own moral compass. Always has a consequence no matter what, and we need to talk about it, OK? Now I want to clear up a few things before we get into it fully #1. I'm not talking about like. Mundane temptations, you know, like ooh. I don't know, like it's a one off occasion and I'm tempted to spend a little extra money on this. Purse, you know? And it's like, it's like, I don't know, I had a hard week, like, whatever. I'm just going to get this person that's not morally, that's not going against your moral compass, OK? That's just treating yourself a little bit. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about things that go against your moral code. It's more serious, OK? Little temptations that we deal with on a daily basis to do something that's a little bit more indulgent. It's like crucial as a human being to indulge every once in a while. In more inconsequential temptations like that is not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is stuff that goes against. Your belief system. But that's tempting regardless. OK, that's what I'm talking about. That's the first thing we need to just get out of the way. The second thing is, is that. Temptation is different than like a life or death situation. Going against your moral code because it is a life or death situation is different than succumbing to a temptation for no other reason other than the fact that you just kind of want to do it. You know what I'm saying? But that's like, that's beyond this conversation. A situation that's dire and serious like that is beyond this conversation. And that's a whole other. Just. Thing. That's a completely different thing. You OK? So that's another thing I'm getting out of the way. If you need to defend yourself, if you need to eat, if you need to drink water, if you need a place to sleep, like whatever it may be, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make. Things. Work, you know, and that's different than what I'm talking about today. Today it's like. A little less serious now we can get into it. To start out, I want to talk about some moments in my life where I have. Succumbed to temptation and paid the price. To start, I used to have a serious. Shopping. Addiction when it came to clothes. I would buy clothes just in ridiculous amounts, OK? And I think the reason for that was that growing up I always wanted to buy clothes, but, you know, growing up I didn't have. A lot of money. So I couldn't go and buy clothes as much as I wanted to, you know, and and buying clothes was more of a rare occasion and I never felt like I could fully express myself because I never felt like I had. The resources and the proper clothes to do so, you know, and and that was like frustrating for me as a young person. And then I made my own money and I was like, OK, I'm going to buy extreme amounts of clothes. And so for a few years of my life I did that. And in the moment I was like, well, I I know that this is potentially wasteful and, like, not a good use of my money. And it's not a thoughtful use of my money and. You know, I I deep down knew like this is not. A responsible. Way to be living my life. But at the same time, I was like, but it feels really good right now and I'm not really thinking about future me, you know, whatever, Fast forward a few years. Now I'm an adult, and it's taken me almost a year to cleanse my space of all of the things that I impulsively bought over the few years that I was like, seriously shopping in a way that was not good. And luckily all of those things went to good places and they went to people that are going to use them and love them. And you know, it didn't go to waste. Which is great, but regardless the you know, trying to get rid of all of that stuff and feeling claustrophobic in a way in my closet and in my home. For years because I couldn't stop buying **** like. That was not worth it. I paid a price. I couldn't like, I barely even wore the shirt that I bought because I could never find it because my closet was so claustrophobic and I mean, I'm kind of inflating this whole situation. It wasn't that big of a deal, but I think it's a good, light hearted example of. Succumbing to my temptations and then later I ended up paying the price, you know? Literally like money wise, I wasted a lot of my money. Could have been worse because a lot of the stuff that I got was thrifted whatever, but still, it was like too much. Not only did I waste my money, but also I. Clogged up my space and I ended up feeling claustrophobic and unhappy because I had too much stuff. And I couldn't even find the things that were in my closet. I I couldn't efficiently find things. And, like, that was a bummer, you know? So I ended up paying the price another way in my life that I've succumbed to temptations is with boys. Nobody likes the feeling of having a weight on their shoulders and there are a lot of things in life that can make us feel like we're carrying weight on our shoulders. One of those things being a credit balance month after month, it can feel like you're in a never ending cycle of debt with no end insight, which is not a fun feeling, but upstart can help you make that final payment so that you can finally get ahead. Upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online, whether it's paying off. Credit cards, consolidating high interest debt or funding personal expenses. Over a million people have used upstart to get one fixed monthly payment with a clear payoff date. Rather than looking at credit score alone, upstart considers other factors like your income, current employment and credit history to find you a smarter rate for your loan. You can check your rate without impacting your credit score and minutes. For loans between 1000 to $50,000, you can even receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan. Find out how upstart. And lower your monthly payments. Today, when you go to upstart com slash emmathatsupstart.com/emma, don't forget to use my URL to let them know that I sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. That's upstart.com/emma. I go through some phases where I love cooking and I go through some phases where. I don't want to cook at all. And for those phases when I don't want to cook at all, I am using DoorDash. I love it because. All of my favorite restaurants are on DoorDash, and so I can support my favorite local restaurants. From the comfort of my own home, it's incredible. But also, DoorDash has other stuff. If I forget to pick up a key grocery item at the grocery store, I can have it delivered straight to my door. DoorDash has. So much more than just restaurant food, although I do love the restaurant food. Whether you need last minute school supplies and impromptu dinner or fresh flowers for that special occasion with DoorDash, there's a neighborhood of good in every order. Along with the essentials you love, you can now get groceries and other essential items delivered with DoorDash. Get drinks, snacks and other household items in under an hour. Every time you place an order for pick up or delivery, you're setting off a chain reaction that helps give back to the people who make your neighborhood unique, from the stores and restaurants to the Dashers. Driving around each purchase provides a new opportunity for everybody involved. For a limited time, you guys can get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the door Dash app and enter code. Anything that's 25% off up to a $10 value in zero delivery fees on your first order. When you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code. Anything, don't forget that's code. Anything for 25% off your first order with DoorDash, subject to change. Terms apply. I had one. Period of my life where? I was talking to guys and having physical relations with guys that I knew deep down didn't respect me and I didn't really respect them. And. The interaction was like very. Transactional. And I felt really bad about it deep down, but I was also like. I'm just going to do it anyway because I really need validation right now because I feel like people don't aren't attracted to me and so I'm just doing this. To validate that I'm attractive, hopefully to someone rather than, like, literally waiting to share an intimate moment with somebody who actually respects me. And my ******* you know what I mean? Like I just. It happens like as humans. All of these temptations are normal. We're all going to experience them in one way or another, whether like it's it's so normal to succumb to these temptations. But what cannot be forgotten is the fact that you will pay a price later, like with me. Getting with these guys that. Didn't respect me and I didn't respect them. I to this day have struggled with myself esteem because of. Those handful of experiences I had with those boys where I went against my moral code and I did that and. I still feel icky about it to this day, and that's listen. That's not fair to myself because you know. I learned a lot from it. I learned that. That is not something that makes me feel good, like I have. It affects myself esteem. It made me feel icky. It wasn't like a safe, comfortable situation. Like it just wasn't good, right? I mean, it was safe, but not. Like, you don't know, like when you're, when you're when you're having physical interactions with somebody that is kind of a stranger, that doesn't necessarily respect you. Like there's a lack of communication that could make things less safe. For example, if they have an STD, how am I supposed to know? You know what I mean? Because we don't have that open communication and there's not the respect there to like, let me know just in case they did. Luckily they didn't, but I'm just saying, you see what I mean? So. Psychologically, I'm still paying the price for that temptation that I came to. There's something to be learned from succumbing to a temptation. It's like. A young child touching a hot stove. A young child doesn't know how hot the stove is until they touch it, and then they get burned, and then they're like, I'm never touching the stove again. It's the same thing with these temptations that we experience in life. You aren't a bad person. You're not evil. You're not doomed for life if you try things out. And you maybe make the wrong decision a few times, but also, if you can avoid them, you know that's not a bad thing either. It's like if you can avoid them, great. And if you can't, you learned a lesson from it. That's that's so it. You know there's not. A scenario in which you lose as long as you learn something you know, but I think that being mindful. Of temptations and how they could affect us. Later. Is not a bad idea. I wanted to go through some examples of how we as humans can be tempted. The first one is. Making money? In an immoral way, maybe that's stealing. Maybe that's lying. In some way, maybe that's. Participating in illegal activities. It's tempting. To make money. In dirty ways, because money is one of the most tempting things of all. It's one of the most powerful things on the planet. Because it gives us freedom. It can give us everything you know. It can give us a roof over our heads, food. Expensive designer belongings like it can give us so many different things. And when there's a large sum of money on the table. It can be hard to say no to it. Even if. You have to do something naughty in order to get that money. But unless it's a life or death situation. It's not worth the temptation because. Not only could you get in trouble and lose all the money and your life, but also you can't be proud of your financial success because you didn't earn it properly, you know? And that sucks. Another type of temptation is cheating on your partner. There are many reasons why people cheat, I think. Number one, because they feel insecure in their relationship. They feel like their partner doesn't love them. And they're seeking validation elsewhere. Another situation could be they just have a crush on somebody else and they want something exciting and spicy and fresh and new, and they're kind of bored and their current relationship because their current relationship is like comfortable and easy and they want something spicy again. They want to feel spicy again, but yet they don't want to leave their partner because you know, their partner is so comfortable and safe, but yet they want something spicy at the same time. So instead of putting extra effort in and making their current relationship a little bit spicier. They go and have an affair of sorts. It makes sense why it's tempting, but resisting it is so important for a healthy relationship because #1 how can you face your partner the same way again? Unless you truly are. I don't. I don't know. I don't know how you could face your partner the same after that, you'll always feel guilt knowing that you're hiding such. A huge secret, but also, how would you feel if your partner did this to you? Terrible. So why would you do it to them? You know what I mean. Like if if your partner was in the same situation that you were in. How would you expect them to behave? Probably a lot better than you did. So why are you holding your partner up to higher standards than you're holding yourself up to? And you have to live with that choice forever. You have to live with that memory of what you did and and that could follow you forever and create guilt and. Discomfort for relationships for the rest of your life, knowing that you're not always a loyal partner. Unless you learn from it, but still. It's also tempting sometimes to buy excess. You know, buy a bunch of clothes, buy a bunch of. I don't know. Gaming equipment. I don't know. Maybe you like Minecraft and you want to play Minecraft and have 15 different monitors so that you can play Minecraft on 15 different screens. I don't know. Excess. Excess can be tempting because you feel like it's going to fill a void. You know? You feel like it's going to fill a void in your life and and these physical belongings could fill that void. But if you're aware of the fact that they're not going to fill that void and you're going to be left. In a cluttered mess and you're going to be down a few $1000, possibly depending on how much you spent on your excess of belongings. Then you might avoid making that decision, you know, and you might. Wait and save your money and spend it on one really good thing rather than an excess of a bunch of mediocre things. That will honestly lose their value anyway to you, because the more you have, the less each individual thing means something to you. Or maybe you struggle with the temptation to go out and party a few too many times per week. It's tempting because partying is fun. It's reassuring. Well, sometimes it's fun. Depends. It has the potential to be fun. It's also reassuring socially. When you go to a party and a bunch of people talk to you and are hanging out with you and you know you're exchanging numbers and all these things, that's reassuring. Socially, it makes you feel good about yourself. It boosts your confidence. But also it's tempting because it's a distraction from your life. Going out, having drinks. Doing the whole thing, socializing, whatever is a distraction from your life. You can forget about your homework assignment that's due. You can forget about your ****** relationship, you can forget about whatever, you can forget about ****. And every once in a while, I think this is honestly, you got to do it. You know? You gotta have those nights where you just go out and you have fun and you let everything go, but when you do it too much. Not only is it not even fun anymore, it gets stale. You know the the novelty of going out and partying loses its sort of allure because. It's not special anymore. It's not a special occasion anymore. Not only does it get ruined for you, but also it prevents you from addressing the issues that are present in your life. And you can't work on yourself if you're constantly distracting yourself and that will long term make you miserable. Speaking of that, it can also be tempting to just slack off in life in general. And when I say slack off, I'm not saying to give yourself a break because you're feeling burnt out, OK? That is a different situation. But it's like when you have the energy to work. OK, but. All your friends are going to the beach and even though you know you need to work and you have the energy to do it, you just you're like, ooh, but I really wanna go to the beach because it's way more fun and. You know, it's like it's being sort of irresponsible, not giving yourself a break because you're literally burnt out and you've been working yourself too hard and it's gotten to a point where you literally can't work anymore without having a breakdown. Like, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about slacking off just because there are funner options. I know funner is not a word. Don't even don't mention it, OK? Because there are funner options happening around you. You're not getting your work done. You're not getting your **** done that you got to get done. Because there are funner things around. It's tempting because it's just so much easier and it's just so much more fun and. Sometimes, in moments when you're tempted by a more fun option than work, you're like. Well, nothing matters anyway. Who cares if I get a good grade on this test? Who cares if I turn in this work assignment on time? Who cares? Nothing really matters. The problem with that is that affects your sense of self. When you neglect the work that you need to get done in life, you're subconsciously losing respect for yourself because your work ethic as a person gives you confidence. Working hard at things gives you confidence because. It proves to yourself that you are a valuable. Team player in some way and you are a valuable asset in some way. And. Working hard at anything. Being disciplined with anything. Can help grow and solidify your self esteem. So if you just keep throwing. The things that you need to work on, on the back burner overtime that will impact. Your view of yourself, you'll start to wonder, what do I add to anything? Because I don't have work ethic, I don't have discipline. It'll it'll it makes you feel. And I've had moments like this in my life where I just couldn't get work done because I was constantly surrounded by temptation to be social and to hang out with people and to go and do fun activities. And so I didn't have any discipline and I didn't get any of my work done. And it made me depressed. Because then I started to feel like a loser. I just felt like a ******* loser. And when I started being a more disciplined with myself and and I started creating a better balance where I was able to be social and I was able to get work done. I was so much happier and so much more confident and I felt so much more valuable in the sense of what I can offer to the world. It's interesting how that is. Now a word from our sponsor. Better help. Becoming a better problem solver is very important and very useful in our lives. A therapist can help you accomplish that, no matter how big or small the issue may seem. A lot of people look at therapy and think, I don't need that. Like my problems aren't big enough, I don't need that. But in reality, everybody could benefit from therapy in some way. Just talking about your problems and verbalizing your problems out loud. To somebody who is unbiased and who doesn't gain anything. From your decisions in life is such an incredible tool. Going to therapy kind of forces you to address things that you might have been putting on the back burner that are really affecting your quality of life. And I think that that's extremely powerful and can seriously impact your happiness on a daily basis. Solving those problems, working through those issues, it's huge. If you want to look into therapy better, help is a great option that's convenient, accessible, and entirely online. You can fill out a brief survey and then get matched with a therapist. And if you want, you can switch therapists at anytime. When you want to become a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com/anything today to get 10% off your first month. That's better helpp.com/anything. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. It's also tempting in life to be nosy. Maybe you want to look at your partner's phone, or you want to sneak into your mom's closet and see what she got you for Christmas. Being nosy is very tempting. You want to know what secrets people are hiding, but you have to resist that clawing. Need to be nosy because you have to think about how you would feel if somebody did it to you. How would you feel if somebody was going through your phone? How do you feel if somebody was going through your closet and seeing what you got them as a gift? How would you feel if somebody was impeding on your privacy like that, one of the most valuable things that we have? As humans is our privacy, because privacy is so important for us to work through issues and to. Be truly ourselves. For example, let's say you want to look through your partner's phone, and you you're looking through and you see a text between your significant other and their friend. And in their text chain you see that. Your significant other was venting to their friend about you in saying like, oh, it annoys me when they do this and it annoys me when they do that. And you see that, and now you're angry at your partner. Your partner deserves the freedom to be able to vent to their close friends and family about your relationship, because sometimes you need a sounding board. Sometimes it's not a good idea to immediately bring an issue straight to the relationship and you want to discuss it with somebody else first. That is like a right that every human should have to go and be able to just vent every once in a while. And and work things out with somebody else and not have to directly go to the source of the problem to solve it immediately. Sometimes you need. A holding period where you go and you talk about it with your friends and family, and you try to work it out and sort out your thoughts before you go and you confront the situation head on. That's important. And so snooping through your partner's phone eliminates their ability to do that in safety and in privacy. Or let's say, you know, you want to do something a little bit more innocent and you want to go into your mom's closet and see what she got you for Christmas. Let's say you don't see the gift that you wanted. Now you're getting all ****** *** at your mom because you're like, **** you, mom. You didn't give me what I wanted. Then, you know, you start giving your mom the cold shoulder because you're all ****** *** because she didn't get you what you wanted for Christmas. Then on Christmas morning, turns out she did get you what you wanted, and it's right under the tree. It just showed up the day before Christmas and you didn't know that it was going to show up, and you snooped and now it changed the course of Christmas, OK? And now you ****** **. Christmas because you are being nosy when you shouldn't have been. It's just so much better to give everyone their privacy to leave things be, and if you feel like your partner's cheating on you, or you really want to know what your mom got you for Christmas, you'll find out. Eventually, you'll find out if your partner is cheating on you without snooping through their phone. Maybe it's through having a conversation. Maybe it's through asking your partner to bring out their phone and show you with them sitting right there. Maybe you just need to end your relationship with that person anyway. If you don't have enough trust in them in the 1st place, or when it comes to what your mom got you for Christmas, maybe you just need to ******* be patient and wait and see what's under the *** **** tree on Christmas morning. You see what I'm saying? You're going to find out the truth eventually, so. There's no need to meddle with how soon you figure it out. There's other ways to go about it that are more morally sound. You know, the last example of temptation that I have for us to talk about today is the temptation to steal. I've never been somebody that stole things. I don't know why. I just never did that. I know a lot of people go through a phase where they steal. Like in middle school, everybody used to steal from the mall. Girls would go into Victoria's Secret. Bring a bunch of underwear into the dressing room, put them on under their pants and then leave the store. You know, like we're talking about that. Or girls would go into Nordstrom and take a tiny little. Compact makeup palette and shove it in their bag and then walk out. You know, like, all of that. I personally could never do it. I just couldn't. It made me feel too guilty. I felt weird about it. I thought I was going to get caught. I just didn't want to go there. But I know that a lot of people struggle with the temptation to steal, especially when they're younger. But even in older ages, like, you know, sometimes you just you're at the airport and you're like, I don't want to wait in line. To pay for this bottle of water, I'm just going to steal it. Again, like, if you don't need to steal, there's no excuse to steal. It's just not the right thing to do. Leave it for someone. See the way? OK, here's the way I look at it when it comes to stealing. If you don't need to steal because you can put food on the table, you can put water in your glass. You have a roof over your head. You just have no excuse. It's just not the right thing to do. And. I always think of it like, let's leave this stealing to people who need to steal, people who don't have enough money to put food on the table, people who don't have access to water. You know, people who don't have access to a roof over their head, and they're doing the best they can, but they're just not in a good spot right there right now. And they need to steal to make ends meet and to survive. Leave stealing to those people. Let them do it. That's the way I've always looked at it. I'm like, I don't need this for free. It's just not the right thing to do. And I think overtime, when the more things that you do that are just morally wrong in life, stealing, spying on people, buying an excess of things, the more things that you do in life. They go against your moral compass, but that have instant gratification. The more of those things that you do, the less confidence you'll have in yourself as a person. Think of it like this if you were to look at somebody else. And. They're a hard worker. They are a loyal friend, a loyal, significant other. They don't steal because they don't have to. They are just a morally sound person overall. You you look at that person, what do you think of them? Do you put them in a respectable place in your mind, or do you put them in a less respectable place in your mind? Obviously you're going to put them on. A pedestal, almost. You know you're gonna. You respect them. Versus somebody who doesn't have that kind of discipline. You're you're not gonna respect that person as much, right? The same thing applies for yourself and your own view of yourself if. You know. Deep down that you do your best every day. To be the best person that you can be and make the best choices that you possibly can. Your view of yourself is going to be much higher and much more positive now. This is not to say that you need to be perfect, to have a good self esteem and to view yourself as a good person. There are going to be moments when you look at your partner's phone. There are going to be moments when you're partying too much. There are going to be moments when you buy too many things. There are going to be moments when you get tempted to cheat on your partner. Maybe you do cheat on your partner, but whether or not it impacts your self esteem. And your well-being long term is based on how you learn from it. If you. Sucumb. To that temptation. And it makes you feel like **** and you say I'm never doing that again. Then that is a positive thing because you learn something, but if you succumb to a temptation and then the next day you're like, I feel like **** about it, so I'm just gonna go and I'm gonna do it again. Then that's when you start to get yourself into a bad cycle. But it's never too late to turn it around. It's never too late to decide, hey, you know what? I'm done. I'm going to be more disciplined with myself. I'm going to hold myself accountable to doing the right thing and being the best person I can be. It's never too late to mend your relationship to yourself in that way. And I think a lot of people can get discouraged when they're in a moment where they are having a hard time sticking to their morals, sometimes making the difficult choice to stick to their morals. Because it's honestly more difficult most of the time to stick to your morals than it is to do the right thing. A lot of times doing the right thing has delayed gratification, doing the wrong thing has instant. Gratification and long term suffering. I said that earlier, but I'm saying it again because it's so important to remember. When you're in a moment in life when you're temptation is stronger than your discipline. You can find yourself in a low point. And. Because of your decisions, those might impact your self esteem and your belief in yourself and then you might feel like well. I can't pull myself out of this. And start making better choices because I'm a loser and you can start to feel like a ******* loser. I've been there. I've been there so many times through my life. And it's it's a vicious cycle because it's like. Succumbing to your temptations. Makes you not believe in yourself and what you need. To pull yourself out of it. Is to believe in yourself. So you almost need to form a false sense of belief in yourself for a little bit of time until you can pull yourself out of it and say, you know what? I can turn this around. It doesn't feel like it right now. I don't believe in myself. I feel like a weak human being. But maybe I can turn this around and it's taking it one step at a time. And it's considering every moment of discipline as a success. Studying for an hour instead of going out to a party with your friends for one evening, that is. Something to celebrate, not buying. 50 things online because you're bored and instead just saying, you know what, I'm going to close out of this tab. I had fun filling my cart online, but I don't need to press check out. I don't need to pay for. I don't need to do that. I'm just going to wait and save this money and be more thoughtful and save up for something that will mean more to me and that will be a more valuable use of my precious space at home. That is a success. It's like and then you start building that up. Getting the temptation to look at your partner's phone thinking ohh I feel like I really wanna look. What are they saying about me and then not doing it? That builds your confidence a little bit and then next thing you know. You feel better about yourself. Your confidence in yourself has grown exponentially. And not to get too spiritual. Because I know I literally said in the beginning of this episode that I feel like a ******* cult leader because I'm talking about like, this feels borderline religious. I promise you, this is not that. I'm not going to start a cult tomorrow. I'm not interested in that. This is not religious. But what I am about to say does sound kind of it is a little spiritual, and it might, and you can take it with a grain of salt. I don't even know why I feel this way. But I do. I feel like the universe lets you get away with nothing, whether it's God, the universe. Karma. Whatever is the power, the higher power of sorts, if there is any. Whatever it is, whatever you believe in. That thing does not let you get away with anything. I always feel like it's just the universe, the way the universe just. Exists and like is. I feel like you always end up paying for bad decisions eventually. Whereas I feel like you also get rewarded for good choices, and it might not be something as deep as like the universe or God or whatever. It might not be that. It might just literally be that. When you make good choices in your life, good things just come to you because. I don't know. I don't know. It just is that way. You know when when you are sticking to your guns and you are. Doing the right thing, things just end up coming to you in your life. That are positive. I'm done, I'm done talking. That's it. That's all we're talking about today, OK? I find myself fighting. Off my desires all the time, you know, in so many different ways. But every time I fight it successfully and I do the right thing, I feel so much better. And I feel like recently my self-esteem has been so. Much better because I've been really doing my best to. Be disciplined with myself and it really, really pays off. And I know it can be difficult at times because. Discipline and overworking yourself. There's a fine line. And you have to figure out that line for yourself. But once you do, it's so powerful. And it's life changing and. It makes the amazing moments so much more amazing when they're balanced out with a disciplined life. You know, I honestly wonder if you can have. Happiness and bliss in fun. Without discipline, I'm not sure that you can because. I. Love. And appreciate and enjoy going to a party so much more. After spending the whole week working as hard as I could, I appreciate my. Relationships in life so much more because I give my. Loved ones, privacy and space and I don't impede on their lives and I. Am not nosy about their lives and I just give them space and I'm loyal to them. I appreciate those relationships so much more because. They're rooted in honesty. I don't know. I don't know. You guys, I'm done. I'm literally done. What did I just talk about for an hour? I don't know. Like, I just don't know. But I hope that you enjoyed maybe, you know. Maybe something and this was valuable. I really hope it was. Regardless, I just appreciate you listening and I hope you enjoyed hanging out. And it's always a pleasure. If you want to subscribe to anything goes, you can do so on any platform you stream podcasts. I'll talk to you next week. Per usual, every Thursday you know the drill. If you want to check out my coffee company, I have a special code for you, the listener AG 15. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain coffee.com, and use that code if you want to pick anything up. And that's all I got. Thank you guys so much for hanging out. Let me know what you think you can check out. Anything goes on Twitter at AG, podcast or Instagram at anything goes and let me know what you thought of this episode and keep up with the episodes on those social medias. I don't know, whatever, I'm out of here. OK, talk to you guys next week. I love you all. I love you all. Bye.