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I had so many things I wanted to talk about and I literally forgot about all of them. Ohhh. Well, for starters, you can't see me, so this topic doesn't really matter, but I dyed my hair brown. My hair is now brown. Umm. Here's the thing. I don't know if I like it. And I know that it has moments where it looks good, and those are the moments that make it to Instagram, but there are moments when it genuinely looks bad. And I'll explain. I was blonde for. About eight months, I was bleaching my hair every few weeks. Maybe every few months, but more like every few weeks. And. I mean, as you can imagine, my hair just got destroyed. It was. So dry and broken. That I could do virtually nothing with it anymore. It was like. There was no hairstyles I could do anymore if I left it down, it was just. The most unfortunate looking head of hair anybody's ever seen. It was so awful. And on Instagram I made it look good because I'm a liar and a faker and blah blah blah blah. But in real life it looked and felt. So awful. So lifeless. So. Bad. So I decided to cut majority of my dead hair off of my head. And dye it back to something closer to my natural color, which would be brown. My hair is naturally like dirty blonde brown, but. The hair stylist told me that if I went my natural color, I would look lifeless. And not good, which I don't know if I should be offended by that or not, but I also trust them I guess. But. She dyed my hair very dark. I mean, this is much darker than I had anticipated. If you go on my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, it's almost black. I mean, it really is almost black. And listen, she told me it's gonna fade and it's going to turn lighter brown over time because I have literal bleach blonde hair underneath. So, like, there's no way it won't fade. But. I kind of hate it right now. Like, I have trouble looking in the mirror. I have trouble facetiming people unless I have a full face of makeup on and. I style my hair and like take a solid 10 minutes to do that. I hate how I look. It's super weird. Because I had grown to be so confident with the blonde that. Can everybody leave me the **** alone? I swear to God. If one more person ******* calls me, I'm gonna ******* lose it. I want everybody to leave me alone. I'm in one of those moods where I just don't want anyone to talk to me, and it's always in moments when. I don't want anybody to talk to me that I get calls anyway. Sorry, that was kind of violent. I did not mean for that to be that violent. Anyway, I genuinely feel self-conscious when I walk out. In about. When I go out and about. With my hair like in a little low bun because now my hair is so short that like I can't put it up or anything. Like I genuinely feel self-conscious of it. When it's not styled and I don't have a full face of makeup on. And that sucks because I'm used to just not wearing makeup and just. Free balling it and going crazy and you know, but now that my hair is different, I don't feel as confident and it's kind of a bummer. I like to feel confident and natural, like I like to feel confident with no makeup. That's like, always what I'm striving for. But right now I don't feel like that because. I feel like I look weird and it might just be because it's a new hairstyle blah blah blah, but I'm genuinely struggling with it. Like it's really affecting myself, esteem. I hate it. So that's some news for the week. That's kind of what I've been dealing with this week. I also feel really emotionally exhausted. And it could stem from the fact that yesterday I went on a run and it was a really good run. It was one of those runs where you start running and your body just wants to do it. Your body just wants to run. That virtually never happens to me, but it did happen to me yesterday and I was just running and it felt good, like I wasn't tired. I didn't feel winded, I just felt good. And I was listening to music and I just started crying when I was on my run. For no reason. It was just like the music was just hitting right for whatever reason. And I started crying, and then I got home and I sat down on the floor of my room in front of my mirror. And I sat there for probably 1/2 hour. And I cried more and it wasn't like I was crying because I hate my new hair, although that is part of it. But I also know that it has potential, so that kind of. Stops me from crying about it, like I haven't cried about my hair yet, because I know that if I style it, it looks good. So that's like comforting. I know that if I need to look good, I can, but. Well, not look good, but if I need to look presentable. You know it's possible. But I just sat in front of the mirror and cried for like 2 hours and I don't understand why. It felt like weirdly spiritual. I felt like I was something spiritual was happening to me, but yet. It all it like, literally. I felt like I was having an emotional awakening. And it literally could just be that I'm on my period. Well, do you know what? That's definitely what it is. But regardless, it felt good just to cry for a little bit. In front of the mirror. It's really a weird sensation to sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself in the eyes and cry. But there's something really therapeutic about it, and I know that that sounds insane, but. It works for me apparently. I mean, I've never done that before, but. It was kind of nice. It was kind of fire. So let's just dive right into today's topic. Let's waste no more time. Today's topic is the truth about success. And I don't know if I've touched on this before and I think I might have, but. And that scares me, genuinely. So I really hope this isn't just like a literal rerun episode. I did look through my discography, if that's even. Is that a word? Discography? Is that only for musicians? It's like a list of all of the things you've ever created. All of the music you've ever created is an artist discography. Discogs disco discography. Discography. God, I'm gonna sound so stupid to anybody that knows what that word is. We haven't asked Siri. Definition of discography. Discography means OK. A descriptive catalogue of musical recordings, particularly those of a particular performer or composer. OK, so I actually think I might have used that word, right? Do you guys ever, like, use a word and you're like. You randomly pull it out of your ***. And it like just makes sense. And then you're like, did is that even the right word? And then you look it up and it it was the right word and like your instinct was correct. I literally. Feel like my life is just living from one of those moments to the next. I love it that much. I love that feeling. I love when I use a word and it like came from my subconscious and then it ends up being. Actually the right word to use in that sense. Woo. That gets me going. Woo, does that get me going? Oh my God, yes. Umm. OK. I really don't think I've talked about this, but I'm now freaking out, so I'm going to go look at my entire discography and see. You know what I don't think I have? Lowkey, it might be time to send it. I think I'm gonna send it. I think I'm gonna send this episode the truth about success. Success, technically, is accomplishing something. The more you accomplish, the more successful you are. Blah blah. But. I think that the term success is really complicated, to be honest. It's so different for everybody. It looks so different for everybody, somebody else may think. That someone is successful but that person. Very well. Might not think that they're successful. It's so abstract, it's so up in the air. And that's why I think it's such a weird thing. Because. It almost doesn't exist. Because as humans were always. Yearning for is that the right word? Yearning. We're always yearning. For the next. Accomplishment? And I find that. A lot of people don't ever feel successful because. They never reach that point of, like, euphoria, that I think success. Is assumed to bring. And I'll take a personal stab at it. I didn't start my YouTube channel for any kind of success really. I started it because I was depressed and I needed a hobby, and YouTube was the only hobby that I'd ever tried that stuck. That's simply what it was at a certain point when I started to gain a following. I think that part of me did want to grow my YouTube channel and accomplish. You know, higher numbers and technically succeed as a YouTuber because that was natural for my brain. My brain was like, well, you've gotten this far. It's like, why not take it all the way? Yes, it started like this, but why not run with it? Why not succeed at this? Because I think in the YouTube world, succeeding just basically means getting as many views and subscribers as you possibly can. Now, that's not really the way I looked at it I was more excited about. Growing a community and possibly being able to make this my job, that's kind of what my goal was. Less than, say, numbers and milestones with numbers and stuff like that. Like hitting my first. 100,000 views or hitting my first million subscribers. That was definitely less important to me. Then. Actually, just like growing a solid community and having a group of people that **** with me and want to hang out with me every week, that was my main priority and that was. More what success looked like to me, but I also think that making money from it was success. Rather than some number. On a screen, I'm glad to say that I've always looked at it like that and that's pretty much stayed the same. I've never had any type of number goal which I think is really good. But the interesting thing about all of the quote UN quote success I've had on YouTube or with my podcast or with my coffee company, or with whatever it may be like. The weird thing about all success that I've had in these areas is that I have always felt really numb to it. Since day one, like even when I first started gaining a following, my video started to get more views. People were recognizing me in the streets. Even when all that happened, I've always been really numb to it and I've never felt super shocked by it or super. Mind boggled by it. I was and still continue to be, mind boggled by it, but I'm also not. It's like I'm mind boggled by it, but not in the way that I thought I would be. I thought that. By becoming successful on YouTube. It. Would change my whole perspective on everything in life, like it would change the way I look at the world. It would change the way I think of myself. It would. Changed things in ways that I couldn't even understand in that moment, but it turns out. That has not been the case like I. Don't have any. Some I don't have any sort of, like, surreal feeling. I think a good way to put it is since I've. Accomplished. You know, my dreams and beyond with YouTube. I've still never felt a feeling or sensation that I've never felt before. Does that make sense? I think that I thought. That becoming successful in accomplishing things. Would almost unlock a new emotion or a new feeling within myself that was like euphoric. But that literally has not happened because I realized that as humans, we only have a certain span of emotions that we can feel. Happy, sad, devastated, excited, anxious, whatever. We only have a certain span, so no matter what's going on in your life, you can only feel. So many things. We only have so many. Capabilities when it comes to feelings. But for some reason, I always believe that success and all that would bring some sort of new feeling to me. Would make me feel a new emotion or a new feeling that I'd never felt before. That would be the best feeling ever because I'd finally succeeded at something, but the truth is that that doesn't exist. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know, this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice. Because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people, you can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show. Or react to news, or riff on pop culture. And that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store. That's a amp. Or ask Alexa to play amp. I actually feel like I'm a little bit numb to success and I blame myself for that. Although I do not feel like it's my fault, but. Something so amazing could happen. I could accomplish something huge and I. Will never give myself credit and never really. See it as a success. And I don't know if I have a mental block up that's like stopping me from allowing myself to feel excited about success. I don't know if it's. A fear of getting comfortable in success subconsciously. That prevents me from like celebrating success, but for whatever reason I. I'm really numb to any accomplishment or success. It's very weird and I don't know if it's normal. And this is just my truth about success, not necessarily everybody's. But I find that. I feel nothing. When I succeed in some sort of. Numeric way. Or some sort of. Materialistic way, like when I was able to buy my first car. I felt numb about it. It was really cool and it was really exciting, but for some reason I was like numb to it. I just didn't even care. Or. When I hit my first million subscribers, it was extremely exciting. But I also did feel this sense of numbness about it. It was like it happened and then I was like, wow, nothing changed though. Like my life is still the same. Like I still wake up every morning in this body and have to live in it and listen. I know it may sound extremely ungrateful and I'm I'm aware of that and that's something that I'm self aware of to a point where I feel guilty about the fact that I feel this numbness towards any type of success that I have. But that's just the way it is. I just really thought that these moments. Would make me feel. Something intense and crazy. But the truth is, none of it ever has. Also brief intermission to hear the Kitty meow. Can you hear her anyway? Come here, sweetheart. I don't get what you want from me. Constantly I close the door and you're like, scratching at the door. You're never happy. Oh, there she is. Do you hear her meowing? Anyway, my favorite thing to do when I'm recording a podcast is to oh. Put my microphone up to her head so you can hear her sounds. If that doesn't prove that I'm a good cat mom, I don't know what is, what does, what could? I just find it crazy that no amount of money fame. Recognition, anything like that? Can change the way that I view myself or the world. I I see everything truly the same, and that might be why I'm numb. Maybe I'm numb because, you know, success doesn't. Inflate my ego. And I'd like love to think that. But like, I also worry. Like, what if I'm a sociopath because I feel nothing? When I succeed at things I expect to feel so much more than I ever do. I do think it's a really good thing. That success doesn't change the way I view the world or anything, and that I like, am consistent and have been consistent with all with all those things. I think that's super important and that's just the way that my brain is wired. I think that's a good thing, but I think that that also does create the numbness and it's just so bizarre. Like for example. I think. People crave success because they think that it's going to make them more confident, or it's going to make them feel happier, or it's going to make them, you know, make more friends. The truth of the matter is, there's a silver lining to all of that. For example, if you succeed at something and then you start getting all these friends. Are those real friends? Because they're only friends with you now. Because you're successful. That's not. That's not what you want. Or let's say you look in the mirror after accomplishing something huge and all of a sudden you're in love with yourself. Do you really want that? Because then the second that you fail at anything, or the 2nd that things stop going your way, you're gonna look in the mirror and hate yourself 10 times more. You don't want that. You see what I'm saying? It's like people think that success is going to bring this added element of goodness to your life, when in reality that's not necessarily true. And I think that that's why I feel so numb possibly is because I know that. Reality is still reality. I can't. If I drown myself. In the dream of success. And I. Allow myself to get too comfortable in it. One day you have to wake up from that dream and stare at the life that you have in front of you, and even if the success has made your life better in some ways. You can't become blind because of it and. Change the way that you view yourself and others, etcetera, the world, whatever. Do you see what I'm saying? It's like there's this balance. And. I think that I might be too far on the end of. Not even giving myself credit for my success. Like I refuse to even, like, admit that I've ever succeeded at anything and I don't know what that is. I don't know what is wrong with me in that area. I know. That I've accomplished things, but my brain just keeps telling me, yeah, but you didn't because there's so much more that you could do and, you know, don't get comfortable now because everything could go away tomorrow and. You know, Oh well, did you even really work that hard? Like? Do you even deserve what you have? I almost feel like I have success, guilt, and I think a lot of this. Comes from. Me probably having imposter syndrome, and I will read you what imposter syndrome is. On Google. Imposter syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism in the social context. I do believe that I have this. But then again, you should never self diagnose. But I would say I have this for sure. Because I never can fully be excited about anything that I accomplish. Because I just don't feel like I deserve it. I just don't feel like. I feel like everything was a mistake. I feel like there was a fluke in the ******* matrix that got me to where I am, and that's not true. And I know that that's not true, but it's like. I think a big part of it is that success scares me because I know that it won't last forever. There's always going to be dips in it. You're going to fail bazillions of times in your life. So every time I succeed at something or accomplish something, I know that there's a chance that the next time won't be that way, and that causes a lot of anxiety for me. I feel like whatever I do next will be a disappointment, because every time I succeed, I feel like, well, now the bar just got raised. How the **** am I going to reach that again? I think it also is worse for me because things are, you know, on a, in a, on a public scale. So, like, people can see if I fail or if I succeed and that I think. Makes it a little bit scarier because I'm. Not only facing the judgment of myself, but also. Whoever you know wants to see because I make everything public and that's a decision I make and blah blah blah. But that also freaks me out. Another interesting thing is that I feel like success ages you in a way like. Because I've accomplished. Things at a young age, everybody holds me to this unrealistically high standard. In. I'm still a 19 year old girl. You know. Sometimes I I have to lay in bed all day, like sometimes I have to. Sometimes I want to just talk about boys all day and not work. Sometimes I want. To *******. Cry on the phone with my parents for 48 hours. Like sometimes I need to do those things, but there's a lot less room for me to do that now because people just expect me to be on alert because Oh well, if you've accomplished this before, then you know you're not allowed to have a down moment. The **** you have to be mature, only make mature and good decisions, and you can never act your age and you know, blah, blah, blah and. That. Is another burden of success that. I think it's really tough, especially for young people. It's just this new expectation people have for you, even as a full grown adult. Let's say, you know you are a really successful accountant. And you're the best one, blah, blah blah. And everybody at the accounting firm, like, respects the **** out of you. But let's say one day you show up for work late, everybody's going to be like, yo, what the ****? Like the eyes are on you. Like you never **** **. What the hell? But then if you know. If Joey. Whose late to work every week shows up late. You're like, oh, this is Joey being Joey again. It's like, you know, Joey's held to a lower standard and doesn't and. And I get that, but I think that. People start to dehumanize, almost people that. Maybe succeed at something? And I also feel like I'm guilty of that as a consumer if I like. Let's see, like Jeff Bezos. He's like the richest guy ever, right? If I met him. And he, like, had a ****** personality. I would be 50 times more judgmental of him than I would be a random guy on the street because Jeff Bezos has accomplished extreme wealth. So I'm 50 times more analytical just because of human nature of him than I would be of anybody else because he's a ******* bazillionaire. And I just find that interesting that, like, you know, Jeff Bezos would be held to a higher standard. My point is. Success should be defined more about what makes you happy. And what makes you feel fulfilled? That's success. Success is 1. Accomplishing something makes you feel good. And that brings me back to the beginning of this, which is. I started my YouTube channel. To grow a community of people. That liked me and that wanted to hang out with me every week and I definitely accomplished that, but. That was my goal when I started, because that's what. Was gonna make me happy or me being able to do this as my job was another goal. Because. That was going to allow me to, you know, have a job that I was passionate about and excited about, which is of course. A great dream to have? Not necessarily. For everybody, but at least for me, that was definitely a goal and. I accomplished that. Those were two things that I accomplished that made me happy. But I've also succeeded in areas such as hitting a certain amount of followers that, yeah, people might think that I'm successful because I hit a certain amount of followers, but that doesn't feel like success to me because. That's not something that necessarily makes me happy. I don't feel happy when I look at how many followers I have. I feel happy when I. Get to read comments of people that. Connect with me in some way that's success for me. And I don't know if any of what I just said makes sense. Or was useful by any means I don't know. But there it is. The truth about success and the moral of the story is. Although success may be very abstract. I think the best way to look at it. Is accomplishing something that makes you happy. Point blank. That's what real success is, and that's when you're really going to feel that gratification. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circle com slash emmathatsdrinkcirkul.com/emma to get this limited time offer. Today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. OK, so now I'm gonna answer questions. Somebody said what do you think about people saying that influencers have changed from success? I think that for influencers it's very easy. To. Succeed. At social well, OK, let's start with what succeeding on social media is succeeding from on social media, in most people's eyes, is gaining a large following. That's pretty much it. And maybe making money for most people, probably making money as well. I think a lot of people just love attention. And I totally get that. I mean, I may not be wired like that necessarily. But to a certain extent, I get it. I get that. Holy ****. It's so cool. It's so cool when people know your name, I mean. From a young age, people. Start to become obsessed with fame, I think most people. And it just becomes like the ultimate goal for a lot of people. As they grow up. And I think that when. An influencer is able to do it and succeed. They. Don't necessarily have the wisdom or Peace of Mind to realize that it really doesn't mean anything. Like? They still have to wake up every morning. They still have to wipe their *** after they **** like I I think that people forget that they're not invincible. It's like they feel like they accomplished the impossible, and it makes them feel like they're the dopest person on this planet because they succeeded at such a. Sought out thing, you know. They eat it up, a lot of people eat it right up and they just. See themselves as a ******* God and they get a God complex because. They did it. A lot of kids in their class in 3rd grade probably wanted to be famous, but they're the one that did it. And that naturally gives most people a God complex 1000%. And I think for a lot of them it's not their fault and I don't think that they. Mean to let their egos go there, but I think. It's still harmful. But it's just part of it, I think. A lot of. Young people especially. Well, I feel like most influencers are young people right now. Being a young influencer would be really hard because you. I mean, I guess I did it, but not really. I don't know. It's just I feel like I had a very weird way of looking at things throughout, possibly because I may have imposter syndrome so I never allowed myself to like. Be like, holy **** you are ****** for what you did. You know what I mean? I never think like that, but I could totally see how like, a young person shoved into this would. Easily get to that point. Whereas they feel like if somebody was 50 and they were to gain a massive following, they wouldn't. They already have their feet firmly on the ground. They know who they are. Something like. 500,000 followers is not going to make them think. Any differently about themselves? They've already solidified what that means in their own head. A young person doesn't know who they are yet. So if they all of a sudden have a million followers, they're like, well, that's my identity. I'm ******* famous now. **** everybody, you know, because they don't have an identity yet. So, like. They're going to cling on to anything that they can find and unfortunately if you end up clinging onto a million followers. You're probably gonna get a God complex from it. Somebody said what are things that you recommend that other influencers do in order to stay humble despite their success? I mean, I think the main. Thing is. To realize that it could all go away tomorrow. And just because you succeed at something. And just because you've hit your goal, that doesn't mean that you can just rest. That doesn't mean that it's over. You still have to get up and work every day. It's never over. Remembering that it's never over is very humbling, and remembering that it could go away tomorrow is very humbling. Because you're like, I can't. Lose touch with reality. I have to stay in reality checked in or else this could all go away. I need to be very tactical. I need to make sure I'm. Getting my **** done. I can't just like. Disintegrate into my own success. I need to like keep working. I think. I think that's the key is just to remember that like nothing really changes, you still have to keep working every day. Also to realize that. A lot of success is actually just surface level **** and that. At the end of the day, if you don't have good friends, if you don't have a good support system, if you don't have people around you that make you feel good, your success also means nothing. Success means nothing if you don't have a good life. Outside of it. Whether that simply means a good relationship with yourself. Or that means a life filled with a lot of hobbies, a life filled with. Self-care, like you need to have those things outside of your success. Your success can't just drive your whole life. And be the only backbone of your life. You know what I mean. You have to have a solid life outside of it. And in order to have that, you can't drown in your own success. Somebody said how do you think some people are able to maintain their success for many years while some people only have fame for a couple of months? I think the key to that is. Not losing yourself in it. Point blank. If you. Get famous and then you just. Give up because you're like, well, I did it, so now I'm done, then that's when it only lasts for a few months. Or if you started it for the wrong reasons, I find if you're. Goal is. To be famous for the wrong reasons. People are going to eventually see through that and they're gonna let go. They're just not gonna care anymore. You have to have pure intentions, I believe. You have to have pure intentions or be really ******* entertaining. Or else it's only gonna last a few months. Somebody said was it overwhelming having so much success at a young age? I think it was because. I mean, for starters, again, I want to say like, I am so grateful. I mean really as numb as I am to a lot of my success, I'm so grateful for the connections that I have with you guys. I'm so grateful for the abilities to support myself financially, which has been like my dream since I was. Younger. That's what? Felt amazing. That's where I succeeded, was being able to support myself and making millions of best friends. I mean, that's a ******* dream. That's that was that makes me feel something that I'm not numb to. But also. I was able to support myself and I was making connections with you guys online. When I had a way smaller following. So I reached that goal. A while ago, but things kept going and progressing. And. That's when it got a little bit crazier for me because I was like, OK, I already reached my goal. I'm here. I'm happy here. Obviously, as a human being, you know, you always want to get better, blah, blah, blah. And you know, you want to keep things moving, you know, because why not? And also because you know, human nature. But. It kind of got crazy when, you know, things at a certain point became out of my control. It's like I can't control how many people are watching my videos, I can't control how many followers I have. But now I'm being held to this crazy high standard as a human being because I've accomplished these things. And in their eyes, it's an accomplishment. When for me I'm like, I'm the same person with the same goal like sure. Like gaining followers just means that I'm hopefully doing something right, which is a good thing, and that just means I have more people to connect with. But it's like I don't care about that number accomplishment. But yet that makes people hold me to a way different standard, and I understand that. But it's also like. OK, wait everybody. Let's remember, like, I'm still a child, you know? And people started to treat me differently and more like an adult or more with more pressure because there's more expectation around me now, but yet sometimes I can't fulfill what everybody wants me to be. And that's why I think it was tough was because. I think a lot of people forgot that I'm still just a kid and sometimes I don't wanna ******* clean my room, you know what I mean? But. At the same time, I'm so grateful because. You know. At the end of the day, I did accomplish my goal, which was to support myself and to have. You guys, that's it. I love that. And that makes it worth it, no matter what type of expectations people have. You know, towards me, like. It doesn't matter all that. It's like, sure, I'm like talking about it, but. It's part of it and what comes with it is so amazing that I would never trade it for the world. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear.com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Somebody said. A while ago. You said that your you think that your YouTube success was based on luck. Do you still think that? I will never know for sure, but I as I'm. Trying to talk myself out of being so pessimistic about my own accomplishments. I've started to realize that I don't think it was luck. I think part of it was luck. But I also think that. I genuinely have a connection with you guys that is beyond luck. And I and I really believe that. So I don't think that all of it was luck. I think that my initial, you know. Following like when things first started happening, that might have been luck. Could have been YouTube's algorithm, it could have been anything. But I think that now what I have with you guys is actually a real thing. That's not luck. That's what made me realize it. It was like. Wait a minute. I actually have a good connection with you guys. You know what I'm saying? And I. Don't think that that's luck. I think that's just how it is. That's just what we've built, you know? Somebody said did you ever see yourself comparing your success to other Youtubers slash celebrities? I can't believe I'm saying this, but not really. I mean. I've never. Compared myself to other peoples fame and blah blah because I know that they're dealing with their own demons and no matter what, like I would never want to be as famous as Justin Bieber. That seems like a ******* nightmare. To me. Like a lot of people, I think. Naturally, just because, again, it's human nature to want to be famous. It is human nature. I think. I I didn't read an article about that or anything. I'm just saying, but I just based on literally every person I've ever met. I think a lot of people, especially young people. Like love the idea of being famous? Umm. But I think because it happened to me at a younger age, and because I realized the truth of the matter so soon, I was able to avoid ever comparing myself to anybody else. Because I realized how bittersweet the whole thing is. It's such an amazing thing, but it is truly bittersweet. And I again, every time I say things like that, I fear of coming off as ungrateful. I'm so grateful, but it's still bittersweet and I'd be lying if I said. Being a Victoria's Secret model would be perfect in flawless. I know it's not. I've, you know, had the luxury of like, meeting these people that have had crazy success. They're just as lonely and unhappy as the next guy, if not more, because of the pressure and because of the lack of privacy and because everybody uses them and they can't trust anybody and they constantly feel like they're being watched and targeted. Like there's that whole, like other level of that. That. I see other people go through and that I've personally gone through, so I don't envy it because I'm like, this **** is tough and I like, you know, I don't compare myself to anyone else because I'm like, you know what? It would be tough to be in anybody else's shoes. I don't compare. Not to say that I don't see a pretty girl on Tick Tock every once in a while and wish I was hurt. That does happen, but that's different. That's more that's not with like. Views are like, you know, money. That's like, literally that's just me being vain. Being like, Oh my God, well, I guess it's the opposite of vain. That's just me being jealous of, like, somebody who's pretty but like, I don't know, but you you see what I'm saying? Like, that's what I compare myself more to like. Stupid ****. Like, Oh my God, like her hair is so pretty and mine's not like, that's where I'm that's where my comparison and **** comes in in life. Not as much with success in this industry. Somebody said, do you think success can be overwhelming? Yes, because I think again as I mentioned earlier. Now there's pressure to continue to be successful. Because somebody can be successful for a period of time and then not be successful a year later, you know what I'm saying? So there's a pressure to to continue and to continue to improve. And that's, I think where the bittersweet part is, is. You can never be comfortable. Somebody said how does being successful relate to how much money you make? Can you be successful without being rich? See, I think yes, personally, but I I think a lot of people would disagree with me because success for me. Is all emotional. There's no number that can encompass success for me. For me success is. Being happy. And so if I accomplish something that makes me happy, that's success. So that might be learning to play. A complicated drum beat, that success in drums for me, and that's going to make me more happy then. If Kylie Jenner follows me on Instagram and that's fine and I finally am recognized by her and like, you know what I'm saying? And like, I'm finally being recognized by people in this industry. Like a lot of people define success on how much money you make. Like a number, like I want to make $100,000 or. You know, I wanna hit 10 million subscribers or. I want. All a list celebrities to follow me on Instagram. That's what success is for some people. But. For me, it's all emotional if making a certain amount of money is going to make me happy because I can do something with it that either helps people that I love, helps me do something that I love, or. Help support A cause that I love, whatever that may mean. That makes me happy. So yes, maybe money. It does have something to do with success, but like, that's what it's rooted in. For me, it's not rooted in a number, it's rooted in what I'm going to do with it that will make my life better. You see what I'm saying? Whereas I think some people are like, I just want to be able to say that I have this much money in my bank account. And that's fine. I'm not judging. But that's just not how my brain works. And I don't know if it's healthy to have a well, I think it's all depends. I think it all depends with intentions. You know. And also to answer your question. Can you be successful without being rich? Yes. Absolutely, I think. Many artists are a good example, like artists, meaning like people who paint paintings. That can be a really hard. My dad does it, and so I've seen it up close and personal. My dad. Like? It doesn't care about how much money he makes from his paintings. He just loves painting and he loves being able to support himself from it. So success for him is being able to do those two things and it has nothing to do with the money. Success for him could be being in a certain gallery. I don't know if that's true, but I'm just saying success for him could be painting a painting that he's proud of. That may never even sell, I think. Success doesn't necessarily have to do with money, but it absolutely might, and that's OK too. Somebody said what do you think the key for success is? I don't think that there is one like, I genuinely don't. I think for some people it's hard work, for some people it's luck, for some people it's. Passion like genuinely being passionate about something and that showing through. For some people it might be. Like intuition. Like they just have a good gut feeling about things. It's so there's no. Specific way to be successful. There's no specific way to go about it. It's also abstract. The definition of success itself is so broad it could mean so many different things. There is no key. Somebody said what do you think is the Max point of success or is there a Max point of success? I don't. Think so? I think that you're always you're never going to be satisfied. And that also might just be me, but I feel like I'm never fully satisfied and I'm always like, OK, But what's next? And maybe that's the key to success. Maybe the key to success is never feeling like you fully succeeded, and that just keeps a fire under your *** that just keeps you going forever. Who knows? Anyway, I'm done. I I literally don't know if any of that made sense. I completely blacked out. So, like, literally, who knows? You know what I'm saying? Who knows what? Just what? I just word vomited. But before I end the episode. I. I just wanted to say how thankful I am for all of you. And I know that this episode might seem contradictory in a way, I tried my best to explain it. But. Success for me is having you guys in my life and being able to support myself. Making things that allow me to connect with you guys like that is what success is for me. And despite my numbness when it comes to crazy **** like if I'm on a ******* magazine cover or something, despite my numbness sometimes towards those things, that doesn't take away from the fact that. I'm so incredibly grateful for the connection that I have with you guys and. Just. Being able to. Make that dream come true and you know, God watch me start crying. I'm just very grateful and I don't want that to be. Mistaken. And. I hope for all of you that you guys can see your successes. Without drowning in them, I hope for you that you can. Be proud of yourself when you succeed, but don't let it affect your ego negatively. I hope for that for you. I'm manifesting that for you, and I'm manifesting that for literally anybody. Like I I think that that's such a beautiful thing when you can succeed and you can be proud of it. But you can also understand that it. Doesn't change anything and you're still the same, you I. Almost have it figured out, but I just don't have the proud of myself thing down yet. But I actually think I'm getting better. And I'm working on it every day. But. Train yourself. To be proud of the things that you do without letting it inflate your ego. Teach yourself how to do that. I bet there's a way. It's also crazy how in LA I think a lot of people are really driven. This is kind of off topic, but I've noticed that in LA a lot of people are driven by. Fame in a way that's like so terrifying. Like a lot of people will literally do anything to be famous in LA. People will literally. Backstab, lie, cheat, pay their way through **** like it's crazy. And listen. OK. I'm I'm in no place to judge whatever, but. It's really. I think it is. It's disheartening. To see people measure success based off of. Something as surface level as fame. And it makes me sad and I and I hope for everybody who. Is measuring their success based off of. Maybe less pure **** that they can learn to. See success in a different way and in a more wholesome, pure, good hearted way because I think it makes life better, even though I'm not one to talk because I again. Have a hard time? Acknowledging my accomplishments, so I don't know. But you know what? That's not necessarily true because I just see my accomplishments as my connections with you guys. So I do see success, just in a different way. Anyway, I'm going to stop going down this rabbit hole. I love you all so much. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you enjoyed, give us a five stars on Apple Podcasts. It really helps me out and lets me know that you guys are ******* with it. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, it's at a G podcast on Twitter. I give question prompts so that you guys can ask me questions and be a part of the episodes and we just have fun and connect on there. And I love it and I love you all so much and I'm very grateful for all of you. And I'll see you next week. Have an amazing day. And I know the times are tough right now and very weird, but we're going to get through it. And I say that every week, but it remains true. I love you all. I love you and goodnight. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan Phil. What are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping give me an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days for Nissan. Recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3, Virginia State inspections and multipoint inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and. Every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course, money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. Hartnissan.com right, you got it. Heartnissan.com or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head and trust your heart. Maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC. The dealer full details.