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I have a neck cramp from the way that I'm sitting right now, so maybe I should readjust. I'll lay on the floor. OK, this is not working. Alright, y'all. Before we get into this episode, I just kind of want to catch up. For starters. I've been cooking recently. OK, this is a whole new hobby for me. Let me talk about it. So. I've been obsessed with watching cooking tick tocks cooking videos. Like anything about cooking, I've been obsessed with watching it, especially cooking tick tocks because. You can just go on one account. And then you can just keep scrolling and you just learn so much. So. After watching only cooking tick tocks for literally a week straight, I now. Have realized that I like cooking. OK, I used to not like cooking because I was like afraid of the mess or whatever, but that is in fact what a dishwasher is for. So I've decided that. I'm going to start making cooking a part of my routine. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to order food like probably half the week, but. I don't know, cooking's been crazy. I kind of wanted to tell you guys like some things I've been cooking. So, number one, I've been making avocado toast. I'll tell you my recipe real quick. Whole grain toast, hummus. Avocado smashed on top, a little bit of onion powder, salt, pepper, chilli flakes. A little bit of lemon. And then if you want to get crazy, you can add a fried egg. That's ******* amazing. But I don't always do that because I'm lazy. That is my avocado toast recipe. Please try it. Next recipe I've been making. I mean taking frozen vegetables. And warming those up in the microwave, like steaming them in the microwave. And then I cook. Tofu on my stove in olive oil for like 5 minutes and then I season it with salt and pepper. And sometimes sesame oil or something and then I put it on top of the vegetables and then I take like some fun sauce that I find a Whole Foods and put it on top. Thai Curry is good *******. Make your own sauce. I've been making my own sauces. I did one that was like sesame oil soy sauce. Salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion, Oh no, no onion powder, just garlic powder. And I was going to add a little bit of honey, but then I got scared that that was going to make it taste bad. So I didn't. But I heard that would be really good. So I've been like, making my own sauces and stuff and like, **** like I'm just cooking. And then, Oh my God, last night, last night I made the craziest vegan pizza. It looked really ugly, but it tasted so good. It was a almond flour pizza crust with pesto on it. Tomato sauce, vegan mozzarella, vegan sausage. Olives, oregano chili flakes, a little bit of olive oil. And. And I think that was it. And that was really amazing too. And then I put a little bit of nutritional yeast on top and that was ******* amazing, so. Moral of the story is, I've been talking about me already for so long, so we should probably move on from that, but I've been cooking recently and it's actually been really fun. The thing that I never realized about cooking is that the key part about cooking is making sure that everything is properly seasoned. That is something that I never thought of before. Like I never realized how meaningful seasoning was until I started watching all of these cooking tick tocks because everybody, like, is heavily seasoning everything, and like that is what makes homemade. Food taste good? I just had no idea. Nobody ever told me so like. You know, that's what I've been doing. Just like seasoning everything to the Max, like you have to season everything individually, right? Like. If you're making like the vegetables in tofu, then I put together, I season them separately like I season them and I do different seasonings for them. And then when I put them together, it's like this dynamic moment of a bunch of different flavors. I've also been making salad dressing, which my recipe is very simple. Lemon juice, Dijon mustard, olive oil, salt, pepper. Garlic or onion powder? Whatever I'm feeling that day doesn't really make a difference. You can really taste it. And then, yeah, so that's my salad dressing recipe. Great on everything. I've been eating it on butter lettuce because I love butter lettuce, but you guys are sick of hearing about me talking. But it really segues actually into today's episode, which is living alone. I feel like I've already talked about living alone before, which is why I, like held off on doing this episode. Because I swear to God, I already talked about this, but I thought that I'd go in depth about the truth. Of living alone and like what it's really like. What? What it's really like, you know? Because I feel like everybody. There's just so many things that you don't realize about living alone. Until you live alone and then you're like, oh ****. O let's get into it first, we're going to start out with all the responsibilities that you just never knew that you were going to have. Number one. Is cooking for yourself. It's weird because I feel like. I was always like, oh, I cook for myself, like, whatever, it it was all fun and games until I left my mom's house. OK, because she used to cook for me all the time, and I used to be like, yeah, but I cook for myself, too. And then I realized that all I know how to cook was like a bagel and, like, pasta. Which is not necessarily gonna keep me nourished and healthy. I did not know how to cook like vegetables or anything that was like. Relatively healthy. I always kind of left that to my mom. You realize so quickly that you you're gonna need to learn how to cook or you're gonna need to. Be ordering food for delivery. But I do think that that's a. Really exciting part about becoming an adult is like learning how to cook right like. It took Me 2 years of living alone to finally be like, OK, I'm it's time to Start learning how to cook. But I'm here now and I've been cooking and it actually is really fun and I've been really enjoying it, which is so shocking to me because I never thought that would happen. But in the beginning it's tough because you're just lazy. I feel like when I first moved out I was so lazy, like chores and stuff like that. I was just so mad that I had to do my own chores. I was so mad. And I didn't want to do them. So then I just got a cleaning lady and would leave all the chores for her once a week. And then in between my ******* apartment was just like a a slow. It was a slow decline of mess. Until eventually, like everything was gross, and then she would come and then everything would be good again for the next week. It would just slowly get worse and worse and worse. So I mean there's that number 2 is like maintaining is like maintenance. OK, like when you're a kid, I don't think that you really are thinking about. Like what? What you're supposed to do and like your sink stops working like. When I lived at home, it's like my sink stopped working. I'd be like, mom the sink stopped working, and then I'd go lay in my bed and pick my *** for the next hour. And then my mom would be the one to call the maintenance dude. My mom would be the one to have to get that fixed, and it just never even would cross my mind after telling my mom that something was wrong in our apartment. I would then stop thinking about it, OK, but when you live by yourself. A problem like that could go on like for example my drawer. I have a drawer in my house that it like is one of those that you have to push on it and then it comes out of the wall right? Well. Like? It kind of, like sometimes just doesn't work. Like it sometimes like doesn't stick in the wall. Like it like like the drawer keeps popping out and like, I keep tripping on it and stuff and like, I just have been too lazy to call my maintenance dude about it. So I just have been like letting it be like that. And, like, it's driving me nuts, but like, because I'm the one that's gonna have to call and be like, hey, I wanna get this fixed. I just haven't done it. Or like one time. In my shower. Like I have a I have two shower heads or two shower nozzles in my shower. So like one that's like a you can take it off of, like you can take it off and you can use it. It's like a handheld shower head. And then one is like. The overhead shower head and like the little knob that like. Switches the water from going from one to the other. Was like jammed and I just was like, I'll just keep it on this setting for a while instead of like fixing it. And like, I just don't get why I'm like that. I think it's a kid thing. Like, still, to this day I'm so lazy about getting **** fixed, and it was easier when I had a landlord, but now I live in a house and so I actually have to call my own maintenance guy. I can't call my landlord now. I actually have to source someone to fix it. So that's a whole new level of responsibility. Another thing is like. Doing your own laundry. I'm so bad at laundry that I actually, my cleaning lady actually does my laundry. She's ******* amazing. She's my queen. I literally have to have her do my laundry because I'm so bad at it. It's just, I'm just so bad at it and it would never get done. Because I changed my clothes so many times a day and I stained so many clothing pieces throughout the day while wearing them, that I literally my laundry pile by the end of the week is astronomical and I literally can't do it by myself. I it's stress, which is like, so sad. Oh my God, that's actually so sad. Like, what am I going to do? And I, like, have children and like, I'm married and I need to, like, do laundry and I'm like, yo. I'm gonna ******* have to have my husband do my laundry, which is like, you know, that's not his job, but maybe it is. You know? Maybe it is his job. It's like, not anybody's job of my own to do my laundry. Yet I feel like in a marriage I would be like, no, you can do my laundry or else we're getting a divorce. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted. I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store. That's amp. Or ask Alexa to play amp. The next thing about living alone that I don't think people realize is how weird the silence is. Like the silence when you live alone is so loud. It's so loud like. You have to be playing music or listening to a podcast or something when you're home alone, because it just feels weird when it's just so quiet. Like, I think that that's something that I didn't realize when I first moved, and it would have been really helpful for me to know or to try out like if you. Are just living in a quiet house or a quiet apartment all the time it's gonna drive you insane and make you depressed. You need to be playing music. You need to be playing podcast. It makes you feel less alone and it doesn't like it doesn't. It stops you from getting all trapped in your thoughts, you know what I mean? And that's a huge problem with living alone is that it's so easy to just lay in bed and, like, drift into your own thoughts. And just kind of get sad, you know? Maybe start doing **** that's like not healthy, like going and looking at photos of you with like your ex best friends or something. Or go and start stalking. You're like 8th grade crush that, like, turned you down and, you know, looking at pictures of him and his girlfriend and then you go into his girlfriend's account and then, you know, like, **** like that happens when you live alone a lot. It's so easy to just go do **** like that, which none of that's healthy. And so that's why if you're like playing music, playing a podcast, watching a movie, doing whatever. That really helps. Another thing that's tough about living alone. Is like if you're really upset about something. Like you have nobody. You can call people, but you're like, alone. You know what I mean? Like you are alone. And if you're like me and you know your family lives. A6 hour drive away or even some people 6 hour flight. Like, you can't just go drive over to your parents house and be like, I'm not OK or your siblings house or whatever. Like you're kind of on your own. And that's another really tough thing. And I feel like what I've gotten really good at doing is, is when I'm having a tough time calling people immediately, you know, not like allowing myself to like. Slip into this. Toxic, sad mindset. Instead, I just call people, talk my feelings out, and then move on. But it's hard because when you live alone, you're like, no, I don't need anybody. I don't need to call anybody. I can handle this. I'm just having a really bad mental breakdown and I'm really upset and I'm crying and screaming, but I don't need help. And then, you know, next thing you know, you're ******* in your bed and you're crying, like laying face down in your bed with your *** in the air, like, ******* crying. And like, no one's there to help you. And it's so easy to spiral when you live by yourself. It's really easy to spiral, so I know for me I. Whatever. Depression, anxiety. I got him. Many of you all got him. And those things are things that like spiral super easily, right? Like all the like one minute you're good and then the next minute you're having. I think anxiety is actually a lot worse with living alone than depression. Maybe, at least for me, like I think I I struggle more with the anxiety side of things, living alone. Than I do like being depressed. I mean, living alone can make you depressed for sure, because you're like, you know? It just can. I don't know why, I guess because you're just by yourself and you have no distractions and you're kind of just stuck in your head and, you know, whatever. But I do think that the anxiety element is worse and it's really easy to spiral. I know I do this all the time, you know, like I'm laying in bed. And I started just getting anxiety about things and, you know, it's 1:00 AM and I'm like, **** I can't call my parents right now because they're sleeping. And, like, I'm not going to call my friends about this because they don't want to ******* hear about this is not, that's not any fun to bring up. Hey, like, I mean, obviously it's good to bring things up to your friends, but that's something I'm still. I don't know. I don't like to. Call my friends in the midst of a breakdown. Maybe that will change one day, but for now I don't do that. But it's really easy to sit there and be by yourself with your anxiety and you're like, **** like I. Don't know who to talk to. Like I need to kind of like. Help myself. Right now I can't go into my parents room and wake them up. Like I have to figure this out on my own and some ways that I've found. Like some things that I've found that help. Is I I mean, honestly, it's as simple as watching something I I usually watch something. Like, I'll go on Netflix and I'll watch, like, a fun, lighthearted documentary. Recently when I've been getting anxious, actually, I've been watching this series on YouTube. Through the YouTube channel vice. They have one of their one of their people on the channel do. They call it one star reviews and it's this ******* amazingly charming guy that like goes around and he like goes to places that have one star reviews and he like goes in there and he like. You know, we'll get a piercing from like a one star review piercer guy, or he'll like go to a relationship therapist that's one star. Or he'll like, go to a restaurant or a buffet. And then he tries it out and it's like, really funny. And then he confronts the owner and the whole thing is really awkward but, like, funny. I've been watching that a lot when I get anxious at night, like watch an episode or two of that, and I've been really loving that. Also. Watching Netflix documentaries have been has been really fun, even if they're like kind of upsetting, like I watched. One about like. A conspiracy theory the other day. And then I watched one about. Like a criminal case with like the the Unabomber of, you know, that's the Unabomber on Netflix. That one was really interesting and even though it was not necessarily like the most. Comforting thing to watch. It was just a distraction, and it just kind of. Got me out of the cycle of like being anxious and I think the thing you have to remember at night, if you're getting anxious especially, I mean, you can get anxious at anytime of the day, but I'm more referring to like night time. You can't call anybody. You're stuck in your own mind by yourself. Just remember that like. When you wake up in the morning, I can guarantee that at least 50% of that anxiety will be gone, if not all of it. Do you know, many times I get anxious about something at night and, like, go down in a complete spiral about, like something so, so dumb and stupid and then, like, I wake up the next morning and I'm like, Emma, why were you anxious about that? Are you ******* stupid? No, I'm not stupid. That's how anxiety works. But. You know. It it usually ends up being fine the next morning, so it's just getting yourself to sleep in a healthy way and. And then you're over it. But that is something that I didn't realize. You know how? You kind of have to learn how to deal with your own issues, you know, like you can't rely on others to alleviate. Your anxiety, your feelings of depression, you're kind of on your own, and it's tough. But. I think that. I found a lot of great. Coping mechanisms you know in a lot of ways to. Help with those problems, you know. Umm. Overtime. And I think that it's actually made my problems less severe, because now I know how to handle them by myself and I'm kind of forced to handle them on my own. But I don't think that you expect that like, so I don't know. That's why I wanted to bring it up anyhow. I know that we haven't been talking about this for long, but I got so many amazing questions. Umm. That I'd rather just get into questions now about living alone than to like, continue just rambling. Because. Who gives a ****? You guys don't give a ****. We're getting into questions. Somebody said. Are you looking for a roommate? No, I do not want to have a roommate. I love living alone. If it was up to me, I'd probably never live with somebody. But I know that when I get married, I'm probably going to want to see. This is why I have to marry somebody who's really, who really minds their own damn business. Because I. I'm gonna get frustrated if I live with somebody and they're all up in my **** all the time. Do you know, annoyed that would uh, that would bother me. Like, I don't know, I feel like maybe I feel like guys maybe are good about that. Like they're more. Hmm. I can't stereotype here, who knows but. I've never had a roommate, and I've and I've never wanted one, to be honest, because I really don't like sharing my space, and I also like there's something so special about living. It's not special, but there's something like so freeing about living by yourself. It's like. Sorry, was a huge burp. I've always felt like living with a roommate would actually make my anxiety worse because. Like I would feel like I didn't have any privacy, and like privacy is so important to me, and even though living alone has its own problems, I just feel like having a roommate like. I I do so many weird things by myself, like sometimes I just walk around like without pants. You know, or like sometimes I shower and then I get into bed. And I'm Naked. Or something. Like, I don't want to have a roommate because then I can't do **** like that and like, that's freeing to have that ability. Or like, if I wanna cry and, like, scream on the phone with my parents about something I'm upset about, like, I wouldn't have that freedom if I had roommates. Somebody said, do you have to do your own taxes? I literally don't know how the **** to do that and it's stressing me out. I don't do my own taxes because I'm in the same boat. It really, really freaks me out. It scares me. I'm super uneducated. I've no idea how any of it works. So I do have somebody that does my taxes for me and I am very grateful for them because I have no idea how it works and they've helped me through that process. So that's been helpful. But. Yeah, I know. I both of my parents have people who do their taxes as well. And so I think that was just something that was automatic. I just was not going to do my own taxes because I I don't get it. I literally don't get it. Umm, somebody said. How do you deal with your finances slash spending money when you live alone for the first time? For me. I needed in the beginning. I got a lot of help from my parents about like budgeting and, you know, all of that and making sure that I was being financially responsible. And I think it's just getting in good habits, you know what I mean? Like, not. Like I think I I live my life constantly. Like. Trying to balance, you know, obviously sometimes you want to treat yourself, you know what I mean? Maybe you wanna get a nice meals from somewhere, maybe you wanna buy that new piece of clothing that you've always wanted and that you've been like kind of thinking about. Of course, those things are really important and great, but I I try to. I try to be really mindful, like I try to live every day, like thinking about how I can spend the least amount of money possible. And made and. I've made that a habit, you know. But don't get me wrong, I still like. It's not something that I'm obsessive over or something, but I I. I think it's just a mindset, you know, like just being mindful of things that are, like, not worth the money, you know what I mean? And being able to separate those things and not being impulsive about spending being thoughtful. Let's say you really want, like, this new pair of boots, right? And you're like, oh, I love these boots. I wear them every day. Well, don't buy them right away, you know, wait on it for a month and see if you kind of forget about them. And then if you don't, then you buy them. That's what I do. So, like, if something is like, eating away at my mind. Like a month that's like a bigger purchase. That's when I'm like, OK, maybe I need to do it because you know, you ******* Yolo and you know, if you can, might as well, right? But. But yeah, you know, just being smart and not, like, not impulsive. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. 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Even when my mom comes to visit like I will, I start relying on her again. Like, I literally, like, forget how to do dishes like and I get lazy. And I feel like when I'm when I live alone, I I hold myself so much more accountable for like, getting things done. And so I think that having that responsibility and having that. Pressure to like, make everything happen yourself is really great and you know. And I would recommend it if it's something that you feel comfortable with and it's something that makes sense for your lifestyle. When it comes to missing your mom, remember that you can always call her. You can always visit her. And really, calling people is. Crazy, meaningful. I call my parents every single day. There's not one day that goes by that I don't talk to my parents on the phone. And to be honest, I don't really miss my parents that much because I talked to them so much. That I don't actually really need to miss them, you know? I mean, obviously having them in my presence and having them in front of me is a different experience, but I actually talked to them more now that I moved out. Than I did when I lived at home, because when I when I lived at home, I was fighting for my personal space. But now I have my personal space whenever I want, and it's up to me when I want to talk to my parents and have a conversation with them. So now every time I talk to my parents, it's like a dedicated hour or three sometimes of me talking to my parents uninterrupted that I've, you know, carved out of my time and that they've carved out of their time to talk to one another. And it's not like we're constantly around each other, annoyed. It's like we enjoy. That hour that we get to talk to each other and we dedicated to one another and then we both, we all get to go back to our **** after that and handle our stuff, you know what I mean? It's just it works. It's actually, if anything, better. It's been better for my relationship with my parents and I think that my relationship with them is improved. Times 1000 since I've moved out. Somebody said do you get scared when you hear sounds or something honestly not really like? Unless, like, I literally heard somebody like banging on my door, which has not happened. God bless. Please God, don't let that happen. Knock on wood. But like, when it comes to like really loud sounds from outside, like, I kind of don't care, I'm kind of used to it by now. And I don't really get scared. Also, I have cats. So like 9 times out of 10 like I'm just assuming that it is my cats making the sounds. But if, like, I did hear a sound that was concerning, I would definitely lose my **** and I would not know what to do. Somebody said what was your ideal home when you were younger and does your house feel like that now? That's super interesting. So my dream kind of house as a kid was a very like East Coast style. My dream house as a kid, it's those houses that kind of look like, you know, in like a. Child draws a house and it's just like the two lines. And then like the triangle on the top. Well, if you look up an East Coast style home, let me look actually. Yeah, if you look up an East Coast style home. They kind of shows what I what I used to want, I like very. I used to like very like traditional. Umm. East Coast style homes, and I actually still do. And I hope that, you know, maybe one day I can and I can live in one like that because I just think they're so beautiful. But it reminds me of my childhood from going to the East Coast during the summer. And those are just such great memories. And so I feel like that's why I like houses like that. But. I also really like midcentury modern. Style homes. That's something I've recently really started liking. If you look that up. There are very flat homes with a lot of windows and wood in there. So pretty and cool looking. I don't know if I'm ever gonna live in a house like that. But I really like midcentury modern. Homes, so those are probably my two favorite. I the house that I live in now is quite modern, very simple, and I really love it. But it but it isn't super style. It's not like it's very simple, you know what I mean? It's not super stylized. So I can kind of do whatever I want with it when it comes to furniture and all of that, and I can kind of make it, I can make the style whatever I want, but. It's definitely not probably what I would have pictured myself living in, but I really love it right now and it's a perfect house for me right now. And although, and I love, Oh my God, I love interior decorating, that's like one of my new things. I love interior decorating. I've been getting so much new furniture recently and just trying to, like, really get a space. I really want to, like, create a space that I feel. I really feel like I'm becoming an adult, actually, within the past, like six months. Sorry, no God. Within the last, like six months, I've really started to get into cooking and interior design. I'm ******* turning into a mom, everybody. I can't believe this. I never thought this day would come. I thought I was gonna be a baby forever. But. But yeah, OK, let's move on. Somebody said, do you think part of the reason that you got cats is because you're lonely, because you live alone? Actually? Kind of, yes. Umm. I think I got cats because. I'm not even ******* with you guys. I'm actually not ******* with you guys. And I can't believe I'm about to say this on the Internet. And I hope that nobody, nobody ******* screen record this. I literally got my cats because of my struggling love life. Like my love life was so bad at one point. That I literally was like, I actually need a cat. Like I need a distraction. I need to have something to, like, take care of because my love life is so awful and miserable. And traumatizing. And, uh, bad. So you know, when they say like, oh, crazy cat ladies, they never get married? Kind of makes sense because. I get why they got ******* 15 cats in the 1st place. Because cats. Actually make it so much less ****** to be home alone because like, I know, like I'll be like laying on my bed and I'll be like working on my computer. And like Frankie, one of my cats will like, come up and lay on my tummy. And, like, I just feel so safe and warm and good and it just makes me feel so comforted and like, I love them so much. But another thing is, you know, now that I have these cats, this is a great way to. Decide if somebody's a good, like for me, for dating, this is a great thing for dating, right? So like if I like, meet a guy and then I'm like, yeah, come meet my cats. And if they're like not good with the cats. Then. Then we're kicking them out, you know what I mean? And so it's kind of great to like it's a, it's a good test. I think that if people are good with animals, tell a lot about their character and how they're going to be with children, so. That's an instinctual thing. I didn't mean to think like that, but that's just how my brain works, like, instinctually. So if somebody's good with my cats, then they're gonna be. Probably a pretty good guy, so anyway that is. But they also could be a shady guy, so that also depends. But it's a great way to kind of narrow down the narrow down. So there's that. But that is the reason why I got cats. I always joke with my friends. I'm like. I swear to God if like. If my love life gets bad again, like, I will end up getting another cat because there's something about it. It's it's like, it's like. It's almost like, weirdly, a **** you. I don't know how to explain it. But it's really a **** you. I don't need anybody. I just need me and my ******* cats. Uh, so I do have the crazy cat lady mentality, and that's something that scares me and you know? Next question, how did you cope with moving to a new city all by yourself? Was it scary or was it something that you knew that you had to do? It was something that I knew that I had to do and luckily when I moved here I knew a decent amount of people. I mean, I wasn't close friends with anybody. I've talked about this 100 times, but. Yeah, I wasn't like super best friends with anybody, but I had enough like kind of 50% friends, like half friends that, like, I knew that I'd be OK and so, you know, they kind of helped show me around. And then I'm somebody that likes to explore things anyway. Like, I I find a lot of joy from that. And so, like, exploring LA for me was really fun and just kind of getting to know the area and trying new things and then eventually I, you know, found my really close friends. And then finally after two years, I actually feel like. I've really good people. I have really good people in my life right now, so that's been really fun and you know? I've even made new friends and it hasn't, like, killed me guys. It's crazy, it's crazy. It's crazy thing. It's crazy. It's not even scary. I know that I'm weird about making new friends and I'm scared of making friends, but actually recently it's been good. Umm. But yeah, like I think making new friends who have lived here for longer or who can explore it with you, that's really helpful. But either way, you can do it on your own too. Just you know. Make that a priority to like explore the city that you move to and find your new favorite spots and all that. It's actually so fun and it's really exciting and super fulfilling for some reason. Like going and like finding new places in the place that you live in the city that you live is just so exciting and fun. So. Somebody said, do you feel different stepping into adulthood? Do you feel a shift in maturity? For sure. I mean, in so many areas, in every area of my life, I feel like I've matured and I still am maturing. I'm not like saying that. I'm like. Supernature something I'm still quite immature actually, in some areas. But. I feel like my temper, not my temper. I I've never been to super angry. If you listen to my episode on pet peeves, I do get angry about things. But that's like, all in good fun. I have always been, you know, pretty chill. But I feel like I've gotten a lot more chill. And like a lot less like emotional. I feel like I'm just kind of becoming a little bit. I feel like my emotions are evening out. Umm and. I feel like I'm becoming more responsible and more like proactive about things. A lot less lazy. And like a lot more disciplined and. Just a lot more level headed. I mean don't get me wrong, I still have my fair share of problems, but I do feel like I'm kind of becoming a lot more level headed and adult like. Which is weird, because then it's like, you know, I've been. On the Internet since I was quite the child and so now I don't feel like a child as much anymore. I also hang out with people that are, you know, in their 20s. I don't have any friends that are. I've one friend that's a teen and the rest are in their 20s. Umm. So it's, you know, I don't feel necessarily like. I feel like mature or more mature than I was when I started. And so that's kind of weird, you know what I mean? That's definitely will change your personality, but I think that I'm a lot more. I'm a lot more comfortable with myself, too. Like, don't get me wrong, again, still have my fair share of problems in that region, but I feel a lot more comfortable with myself and a lot more confident. It's crazy. I I was actually remembering the other day when I first moved to LA how like weirdly timid I actually was. I kind of want to do a whole episode about coming out of my shell. I'm writing that down right now. OK, I'm going to do a whole episode on that about coming out of my shell because it was really interesting and something I didn't even realize that happened, but. We'll talk about that next week maybe. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu somebody said do you plan on moving to New York? I was so set on moving to New York, but I have actually. Now decided against it. Because. I mean, it could be fun to live there for like a year or something down the line. But I also feel like. I just really like LA I I've kind of like, you know, I have my people here now. I think a big reason why I wanted to move to New York. Was because, you know, I had a small handful of friends and, like, they could come with me or something. I like, I don't know. That was what I was thinking. And like I wanted to broaden my circle and I wanted to meet new people. And I had felt and I was kind of feeling like I I had met everybody in LA and that I, you know. And that it just wasn't really like the social place for me and I wanted to like meet new people and different types of people. And I felt like New York has such a broad different. It's such a different energy and there's so many different types of people and there is an LA too. But I felt like I had already explored in LA and like I already knew everybody and I just felt like it was just, I didn't know everybody, but I felt like that and I wanted to change a pace and like, there's so many things that I wanted but. Recently I've realized that actually I don't know everybody in LA and. Like, there's so many things to explore here that I've not explored yet, and I've met some really cool new people recently, and I feel like I don't really need to go. Like, I don't need to do that. Like, LA is such a perfect place for me to live, and it's close to my family. All my friends are here. I'm comfortable here. And all that, but I mean, I love visiting New York and I definitely am going to start visiting a lot more once we are allowed to travel again. Somebody said, do you run to your room when you turn the lights off outside? No, weirdly, I'm not afraid of the dark. Which is weird, but I'm not afraid of the dark at all, so I actually don't do that. Somebody said, do you wish you moved out sooner or later? I think I moved out of the perfect time. I just turned 17. And. It was the perfect time. I would not change a thing about that. Somebody said, would you rather live in a house or an apartment? So I've lived in both throughout my life. Umm. I lived in a house for like 5 years and then my parents got divorced and then my mom lived in apartment. My dad lived in the house, then I lived in both and then when I moved to LA the 1st. Two places I lived in were apartments, and then now I live in a house. There's pros and cons to both. My thing that was always really tough about living in an apartment. Since I was a kid, was the whole neighbor situation. You're just in such close quarters to your neighbors that there's just so much room for anger and, like, aggressiveness because, like, your downstairs neighbors will get mad, and then you'll get mad at your upstairs neighbors because everybody's walking around and whatever. Or, you know, if somebody's being loud next door, like you're going to get mad and vice versa. And so that's the thing about apartment living that's really tough, is how close quarters that you are with everybody. And like. It just can cause a lot of tension in in the building, and I've always had that. Every single building I've ever, ever lived in, there's been some sort of awkward tension between the neighbors. It's just awkward. Sometimes it can be fun, but like, rarely. I also feel like less. I always have felt weirdly. In danger in apartments. I've never felt safe living in apartments because I feel like it's just like, there's so many people around and, like, what if your neighbor is a freak? Do you know what I mean? Now that they know exactly where you live and they could, like, ******* break in. I don't know. So I never felt really very safe in apartments. And now I live in a house and I live by myself, but I feel so much more safe here than I ever did. I'm living in apartments, and so I definitely prefer living in a house over an apartment. But I do think that apartments are really a great option when you first move out, obviously. I mean, they're because they're just like, there's not a lot of commitment involved. And so you can just kind of like it's so great for figuring out your footing where you live. Living in them and like bouncing around from apartment to apartment. But overall I do feel safer and. I'm happier living in a house. And my goal in my life has always been, you know, I always wanted to live in a house. Like, I, you know, that was like, I mean, I lived at a house at my dad's house a little bit, but I kind of ended up moving out of my dad's house at a certain point because it was too difficult because I was going to school near my mom's apartment and it was a long drive from my dad's house. So I ended up just kind of during the week being at my mom so that it was easier to go to school and I didn't have to wake up super early and stuff like that. And so, and then when I moved to LA, I lived in apartments and it's just always been my dream to live in a house and I'm just really grateful that. I'm now living in one and. It's kind of been a lifelong dream. Somebody said would you go back to living with your parents if you had the chance? I would not. I would not. And I love my parents more than anything, but no. Somebody said, would you live with the? Significant other. Ohh God I don't know. Maybe. Maybe in like 5 years? Maybe in like 5 years? Umm. I would do that. As long as they're chill as ****. They better be chill. And. And they have to clean the litter box. If they're chill as **** and they clean the litter box for me, then yes. But otherwise, uh, no. Last question, you've moved a lot of places in a really small period of time. Would you describe it as more fun or more stressful? It's been fun, but stressful. Luckily, the spot that I'm living in now, I'm probably gonna be living here for quite a long time, so I don't think I'll be moving again anytime soon. Moving is really fun, but an exciting always. But it's also really it is really, really, really stressful because. You know, and it's expensive to move and, like, the whole thing is just really traumatizing. And like, getting settled into a new spot just like takes a really long time. Like I just moved a few months ago, two months ago. And. Like, I'm still getting settled in. Like I still have things in boxes. I still have furniture that's like coming and getting rid of some and getting new furniture. And you know, it's hard to feel like you are at home when you move as much as I have. I've moved literally like three times in 2 1/2 years, no three times in two years. And yeah, and it's been kind of like it's been crazy. But I'm kind of done with my moving. I think I'm just gonna live where I'm living now for a while and just chill here and finally be done with that and make this place feel like it's really home. Because I do think that I've kind of, like, not really put a lot of time and effort into like, decorating and stuff like that. Because I've always just been like, I'm only going to live here for a year, so I'm not going to like put effort into decorating and stuff like that. But now I know I'm going to be living here for a while, so I'm going to put some effort into like, making it feel really homey and all of that. Because I think feeling like you have a really homey space that you live in and some place that you feel really comfortable and safe and is super important. And I haven't really had that because I've been every place that I've lived in has felt so temporary because it's always been apartments, so. Yeah. Anyway, that's enough of talking about living alone. I hope that you guys enjoyed that little discussion. I'm gonna talk about me for a little bit, and then I'm gonna hit the road, Jack. Coffee time, Chamberlain, coffee.com. Any who? Some good news. Is that I just took my last dose of Accutane today, seven months of Accutane done. Umm Accutane was the acne medicine I was on. I talked about it way too much, but it controlled my life for the past seven months. So that is why. But I am done. I'm done with Accutane. I just took the last two pills today and. Now I can finally go, and well, I can't yet. But in a month when the Accutane is out of my system, I'm allowed to go in the sun. I can tan again and I won't get burnt. My lips won't be chapped anymore. Hopefully my back pain will go away cause Jackie taking you back pain. Hopefully my skin stays looking good. I'm really excited and I think my skin will hopefully only get better from here. All of my skin is pretty good right now. Accutane was crazy. I can't believe it's over. Like, I feel like it just became such routine that like, I just forgot that I was even doing it. And then. And then I blinked, and then it was over. I'm so excited. I'm so ******* excited. Sorry, I'm texting my friend to see what she's up to today. What are you up to today? Send. Anyways. **** that was disgusting. I'm going to give you 2 Netflix recommendations. Of documentaries I've been watching. Take it or leave it, uh. The first one I watched was the Epstein documentary about his life and. His case. Super interesting. I mean, really sad and you know, of course disgusting, but also super interesting. Just to see like, you know. I've always been really interested. I mean, of course most people are. I think that. Crime. Is interesting. You know, like crime documentaries and things like that. I think a lot of people find them to be really interesting, so I I really. Was super engaged in the Epstein one, so check that out. It's on Netflix. Also the Unabomber case. That was also really interesting. And kind of terrifying. Both of them were really terrifying, but. Uh, super interesting and. Engaging. So I would recommend those two. I watched those two recently and I really enjoyed them. I'm also going to give you. Some tick tock accounts that I've been watching that are have been doing the cooking. That I've been watching. OK, the first account. Is Jeremy. Check. That's spelled JEREMYSCHECK. He cooks and he I love watching his cooking videos. Another is cooking with Shereen. I love hers too. She cooks a lot of meat, but I'm I'm not really cooking. I'm not really watching her cooking videos or anybody's cooking videos to actually cook with their cooking. It's just really fun to watch. Another person that cooks is I am Tabitha Brown. She's ******* amazing. She's my favorite tick talker of all time. Please watch her videos. She's just such a ******* ray of sunshine and I'm obsessed with her and she's the most amazing woman ever. I think those are my three favorite cooking Tik T.O.K accounts. Slash. Just Tik T.O.K accounts in general right now. So go check those out for a fun little stock. Sorry, that is my tick tock for you page making loud sounds anyway, check all that out. I hope that you guys are. Taking care of yourselves and staying positive. And I'm praying for all of you, all the time, even though I'm not religious, but yet I still pray. So I don't really know what that means. I'm I'm spiritual man. I'm thinking of you all, and I'm sending you all the most love and light that I possibly could. And can and I will continue to do so. Have an amazing day and I will see you all next week. Ha ha. Bye, ma. We're here with Phil, talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus, people are uncertain about a lot these days. Partisan recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3, Virginia State inspections and multipoint inspections one year. Tire Rd hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. Hartnissan.com, right, you got it. Hartnissan.com or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head and trust your heart maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC dealer. Full details.