Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

irrational fears

irrational fears

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 10:00

You know that feeling, you lay down to go to sleep and all of your anxiety immediately hits you. Or, you stay up late worrying about something that’s completely irrational. Emma has experienced it all, shares some of her most irrational fears, and how to deal with them. Plus, thoughts on the paparazzi, how unpleasant her one and only surgery was, and a story she has NEVER told on the internet before. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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Ramble no one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans from principal. And visit us at business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit Hey guys, welcome back. Sorry I'm laying down South. My voice sounds weird. I'm going to sit up because my voice sounds all like. I don't know, it just sounded OK. Wait, see, now it sounds normal. OK, I'm not going to lay down anymore when I record cause I literally lay down in my closet with a blanket to record this, but that obviously is not working anyway. So we're all you guys. I'm good. I guess I'm not. Having a good day, but I'm also not having a bad day. I think it's more leaning towards the good side though, so I think we're doing good. Like I feel I if listen, if I don't feel really upset, then it's a good day. Although I did cut open an avocado this morning, that was not ripe enough. Heartbroken over that. Had to throw the whole avocado away because it just was not ripe enough and and I ****** it up and I like cut it really sloppily and like the whole thing was a mess. So that was kind of disappointing. In addition, two of my acrylic nails have fallen off my pinky finger and my middle finger on my right hand, and my nails look. Absolutely. Like trash. So aside from that day's going really well, I'm going to be talking about irrational fears today, and I have my own definition for this. So basically what that is, is like my brain coming up with these crazy scenarios that probably didn't happen. But could have happened for sure, or it could happen for sure, but. Getting anxious about. Something that, like may have happened or something that like could possibly happen. I'll get into it. When I tell the stories of certain things I've been anxious about, you'll kind of understand. I'll start out with some really like, obvious ones that you guys have probably dealt with in your past, and then we can get into the crazier ones if I don't know, I need to. I need to literally ask my team about one story because I don't know if we want this on the Internet yet, but it is ******* funny. So we will see. I mean, I think since day one. I've always had this fear which is somebody taking a joke wrong or something that I said wrong earlier in the day and then the 2nd that I lay down. To go to bed. The second that I lay down to go to sleep at night, I turn my lights out. I'm thinking about that joke that I made earlier, and I'm like, Oh my God. Or do you think that they heard their feelings? I constantly feel like I hurt somebody's feelings and that they're not telling me and I literally will keep myself up at night. For hours. Thinking about everything that I've ever said and considering apologizing for something, but the problem is. When I apologize for something like that, people are like Emma. What? And I'm like, I don't know, I thought that, like, maybe when I said that your shoes were cool, that you thought that I meant like. Well, they they you thought that I was being sarcastic? Like, I will literally give somebody a compliment and then later get anxiety thinking that they think that my compliment was sarcastic. That's how psychotic my brain is. Like, why do I put myself through that? You know, like that is so unnecessary. And most of the time, you can tell in the moment, if somebody got a little **** hurt about something that you said and you can address it, then I don't think it's like that much of a mystery. But I will convince myself later that I offended somebody that day. Or I'll lay in bed at night and I'll try to remember every conversation I had that day and analyze it and try to think if I said anything that would hurt someone's feelings. And I have actually, in fact, apologized for things. And people are always like, Emma, what are you talking about? And I'm like, I don't know, maybe you could have taken it wrong and they're like, no, I would have told you. And you didn't even say anything bad. And I'm like, yeah, but I feel like you took it wrong. Like, all of my friends are literally Emma, you're crazy. Here's another one that I think. This one's a little bit more specific. That one was really broad, but like this next one is something that was very specific. And I don't. I hope that the person that this happened to isn't listening to this. I you know who you are. So. Anyway, I mean, we are. I already apologized to you about it, so it's fine. So I was hanging out with someone. I was hanging out with somebody. And we got coffee together. And it's a coffee place where you order on an app. Right. And this other person was driving? And they handed me their phone and they were like, you can can you order on my phone? And I was like for sure. So I ordered I was ordering on their phone and then the app crashed, you know like an app crashes and it like just the whole app closes out or whatever. So that happened and I didn't know where the app was on their phone and I didn't want to like. Be swiping to try to find it again, so I just handed the phone back to them and I was like. The app crashed. And. I couldn't tell if they thought that I was snooping on their phone or not. Like my brain was like Emma, they think that you were snooping on on their phone, and I personally AM. So anti snooping on people's phones, like, that's my biggest pet peeve. I hate when I give somebody my phone and then they're like, oh, let me just like check your camera roll. Like that really bugs me and people do that. So I hate that. And like, I have a phobia of that. Not that there's anything bad like on my phone at all. I have nothing to hide, but it's just like. I just don't like that. Like, I just feel like it's so violating and it's just like so like disrespectful. So I would never do something like that, but I for some reason felt like they thought that I was snooping on their phone anyway. They ended up ordering. Instead of me and I was like, Oh my God, they definitely think that I *******. They definitely think I was snooping on their phone. Holy ****. Like what? How do I get out of this? And I was like, Emma, you're being crazy. Don't bring it up right now. So I kind of forgot about it for the rest of my, like, coffee experience with this person. And then I went home. They dropped me off and I literally sit down on the ground and I was like, Oh my God. They think I was snooping on their phone. They think I was snooping on their phone. And I could not get over it. I was literally hyper focused on this for an hour and I was like, Oh my God, I'm so psychotic. But I I have to. Tell them I have to tell them that I I was like, so I literally sent a voice memo. Wait, I wonder if I still have it. I don't think I do, but I don't know how I would find it anyway. I don't think I have it. I think, I don't think I saved it. Why would I do that? But anyway, I literally basically said something like this. High blank. So I've been anxious for the past two hours thinking that you thought the one the app crashed that I was on your phone. I would never do that. And I respect your privacy. Thank you. And I literally like, how psychotic is that? Why? And I had to send it once I sent it. And I knew that they knew that I wasn't snooping on their phone. I was like, OK, I'm fine now. But like, it's almost like I I wonder. I I don't want to ******* throw like, you know? This these words around, but I it almost. I wonder if it's like an OCD thing. Sometimes we're like, I I get so obsessive over things like that, that like, I need to have confirmation from them that they know that I didn't do that in order to, like, continue my day, or else I'm literally like bedridden because I'm so anxious. And it doesn't happen all the time, but it's like every once in a while these little things will happen like that. And they will just torture me so anyway. That person probably thinks I'm a absolute psychopath, although they I think they know me well enough too. Know that I'm just a little bit crazy. So I think that we're good on that one. But there's certain people see like it. With certain people, I will have these paranoias like, Oh my God, I think I heard their feelings. Oh my God, I think that they hate me and I can't bring it up because I'm not close enough with them to bring it up. And I don't feel comfortable enough with them to bring it up. And that's when **** gets bad, because then I'm just tortured for months until I see them again anyway. Oh my God, another one. So I used to have dogs with my mom, like my mom and I had dogs when I lived at home with her and I before bed used to literally. Keep myself awake for hours thinking about. The scenario of me. Taking my dogs into an elevator. And. The elevator closing on their leash and me being inside the elevator and then be outside the elevator. And something happening to one of my dogs. If that makes sense, because if you think about it, OK if you're holding the leash. And the elevator. Closes on the leash and you are on one side of that elevator door and the dogs on the other side. When the elevator starts moving, God only knows what would happen. And so I literally. Used to keep myself up at night thinking about that scenario, and I was like, I'm never taking my dogs on an elevator. Ever. Like that just it freaked me out so bad I would. Toss and turn for hours about it. And The thing is like. The crazy part about it is that. I would have that anxiety. But then if I was actually walking my dogs and I actually needed to bring them into an elevator when I was actually doing the action, I wasn't even freaked out. I'd be like, wait, this is not that scary. Like they just walk into the elevator with me and I and then if worse came to worse and like they weren't coming in, I could just walk out of the elevator, put my arm in and shut. Make the elevator not shut on it. Like it's not that, but. When you're in an anxious mindset, especially before bed. This **** will go crazy and you'll start, you know? Totally like freaking yourself out. So that was another one, another animal one. OK, my door is really weird. My front door. When I opened my door all the way. So let's imagine that my doors open all the way. The door kind of swivels on this on like a pole. That's like 9 inches away from the wall, so it like swings out so that when the door is fully opened there's a gap. On both sides, so there's obviously the door side. Where you walk in, but then there's also a gap on the other side. Where like a small animal could fit through. Does that make sense? God, I'm so sorry, that is a really hard thing to explain. I I might post a photo on our AG podcast, Twitter of my door so that you guys can understand what I'm saying. Tweet at me if you need a little bit of understanding on that. Anyway, when I first moved here, I used to keep myself up at night thinking that when I opened my door. That that my cats are gonna run out that gap on the other side, and I'm not going to see it because I'm I'm walking out of one side of the door and I had this paranoia that they were going to run out the other side of the door because they could definitely fit. Or I used to have paranoia that I would shut the door and they would be like hiding in that little gap and it would pinch them and hurt them. And I would literally stay up all night picturing different scenarios of that. And. So my mom and I literally had to put a little net there so that the cats couldn't run out because I literally couldn't sleep for days thinking about that. Pretty dumb. But. Whatever, another thing that I do this with is feeling like. I'm going to wake up and the whole Internet is going to hate me. I've definitely had a lot of nights awake about this. You know. Just wondering. I mean, it's never like I have. I think the biggest fear for me. Is that there's nothing that comes to mind. And that's why it gives me so much anxiety, because I'm like nothing comes to mind. That I've like, maybe done that, like, you know, could get me in trouble or whatever. Like, I don't. I I don't have anything in mind, but that's what freaks me out. I'm like, what do I not know about? Like what does somebody have me like or you know, or something even getting leaked, like something about? Like, let's say, you know, like a private relationship and then that coming out. Like, I really don't want that. You know, like what if somebody took a photo of it or something and then it's out on the Internet when I wake up? Like something getting exposed in a sense, about me on the Internet, me waking up and going on Twitter and just seeing a whole timeline full of something. I don't really get as much anxiety about this anymore because I'm almost like, you know, what if worse came to worse and that happened? What am I going to do? But. Still, I mean. It's still. That's still something that I used to get super paranoid about. I also get paranoid about. My friends, and especially guys that I've, I've dated or that I've talked to or whatever, hating me for no reason, I constantly feel like. I constantly feel like randomly everyone hates me. I don't know what it is. I don't know why that is, but I constantly feel like, oh **** they hate me now. Like, literally sometimes. I won't text somebody for like, you know, I'll like forget to text somebody for the whole day and then I will be like. Oh my God. Well, they didn't text me either. They probably think that I hate them and. Now I think that they hate me and like and then in reality, like they don't think that I hate them and they don't hate me. But I created this whole story about that, you know, we hate each other. Like, what the **** is that? I've always done that. I've always done that with everyone guys, my friends. Like, I'm so bad about that. I always think that people are mad at me. And I never bring it up. I never bring it up because I'm always like Emma. This is so annoying and irrational. Like, do not bring this up. You're just gonna **** them off, but. It sucks. Like I will go to sleep thinking that people hate me and it just like sucks. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. OK, next. This is the last story, and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to include this, so I'm really praying that I can. I'm gonna try to tell it in the most innocent way possible, but it's kind of the reason why I made this episode because I just think that the story is really funny. OK, but it's definitely kind of like it's a little bit, listen, if if you this might be a side of me that we don't want to talk about, but it does. She does exist and we will talk about her. So. I was God, I'm nervous and nervous, but, you know, OK, I'm 19 years old. I'm a big kid. I can talk about these stories now. I think. I'm literally going to ask my team if it's allowed. That's like how scared I am telling the story. It's so not bad either. But like, I just, I don't know. I'm nervous anyway, so. OK. I was sleeping over at a guy's house. Oh my God, this is scary. I don't know. This is scary to talk about the Internet. OK, I was sleeping over at a guy's house. And. See, I'm just gonna talk to you guys. You guys are my friends. So this is not weird. You know what I'm saying. This is not weird. Because you guys are my besties. OK, so I was sleeping over. And uh. I went to bed. And. This is the part that I don't know how to explain, but it's really a good part of the story. Let's just say I wasn't. Uhm. Where I didn't have pants. OK, moving on. And. I'm already regretting this story. It's so not bad, but I just. I'm not used to this, OK? I didn't have pants. And so I'm sleeping and I wake up at 7:00 in the morning. This person sleeping the other the guy was sleeping. And I checked my phone at 7:00 in the morning and I was having the worst. Stomach pain in my ******* life. Like I'm not kidding. My stomach was killing me. And I was laying there and I was like, OK, well, I'm not gonna like, I don't want to move. Like, I don't wanna get up. Like, I I didn't feel like I had. I didn't feel like there was anything that the bathroom could help with the stomach pain. Like I didn't think that was the case. It felt more like. Crampy feeling. And so I was like owl. Like, this is really uncomfortable, but like, whatever. I'm just gonna, like, ride it out. So I'm, like, laying there. I literally lay there awake for probably 30 minutes just with this, like, excruciating stomach pain. I'm like. So uncomfortable. I literally was, like, dying. But I was like, whatever, I'll just wait for this to go to go. I'll just wait for this to go away, and then I'll go back to sleep because, like, I don't normally wake up till, like, 8:30. So I was like, this is just like, I I'm not just going to lay here awake for an hour and a half or, like, wake this person up. Like, no, like I'm just going to push through, wait for the pain to go away or just wait for me to fall asleep through it. Finally, I fall asleep, and I don't even remember falling asleep again. But I was awake for so long. Finally, I fall asleep because the pain went away. And I wake up in the morning and the pain is gone and I was like, this is awesome. And I leave and then whatever, OK? When I get home, I'm on the phone with my mom and I'm telling her this story and I'm like. Listen, I woke up and had the worst stomach pain in my life and I didn't know what to do. And I was like, but then the stomach pain just went away. And she was like, well, how did it just go away? And I was like, I don't know, like, I guess it just went away. And then I started thinking. How did it just go away? Like I didn't go poopy. I. Didn't take an Advil. So how did the pain just go away? And that's when my brain started to convince myself. Emma. I think you may have pooped the bed now. Listen. It's virtually impossible. For me to have pooped the bed and not noticed. In some way. I would have seen it. I would have seen it. There's no way I would not have seen the poop. In the bed. It is impossible if you're eating. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But I convinced myself that I had pooped a little bit in his bed. And I was like, Oh my God, I need. I need to know. I beat myself up about this all day. I called literally 10 people. And I was like. Listen, here's the story. Do you think it's possible that I **** the bed and they were like Emma? No. Like check your ***. Is there poop in it? And I was like, no but. But I convince myself that I pooped the bed. And then here was my like, here's my idea. I was like, OK, well. I need to know if I poop the bed before this person gets back into their bed at night because they're not gonna lay in bed during the day. So like, I know that if I can find a way to come over to their. Place. Before they go to bed at night and I check the bed to see if I've made poopy time in it. PP Poo poo, check. If I check their pee pee poo poo. If I check their bed for pee pee poo poo check. Before they go to bed at night, then if for some reason I did **** the bed a little bit, I didn't think that I like fully **** the bed. I thought that I just like **** a little. Like, and that was just ******* making me go insane. Thinking about them doing their laundry and being like, what's this? And it being like, and then them being like, Emma, did you make poopy in my bed? Like, I just couldn't fathom how painful that experience would be. So I was like, I need to find a way to hang out with them before the end of the day so that I can go into their room and I can look be like, oh, I forgot my earring. Earring. I forgot my earring. Yeah, in your room. I need to find it, but then really, just like go check their bed for a **** *****. Anyway, I ended up doing exactly just that. I hung out with them again the next day and I remember I went into their room and I looked and there was nothing there and I was like. And I literally was. So relieved. And they had no idea they didn't. OK, well, the funny part was I literally could tell this person that, like, it's not like this is somebody like, this is definitely somebody I could tell this to. But I was so embarrassed that I had spiraled myself down into this ******* hole. I was so embarrassed of it that I was like. There's no way I can tell them about this. I need to like tell them like a few months later. So then finally, just recently I told them about it. And they were like, Emma, that's the dumbest thing. Well, they didn't say it was dumb, but they're like that. Just like, didn't ******* happen. Like, what are you talking about? Like I would have told you if you **** in my bed. Anyway. Shout out to him for that. Like, imagine putting up with me. And like. Having me be like, hey, I one time thought I pooped, like I can't. This is also the same person. That. With the coffee thing with the phone. Like this person experiences my paranoia like randomly more than anyone else, and I don't know how. They're not like I never wanna talk to you again anyway. So that's that. Those are some random paranoia stories. Those are just the ones that are fresh on my mind. I've literally had so many things like this. Anyway. I think I'm done with. Talking about irrational fears, I mean, I'll give a little advice now. I talked about irrational fears and anxiety. Coming throughout the day, mainly here, like a lot of these were like the anxieties that I get throughout the day, but there's something to be said for. Having that anxiety before bed and like when you have anxiety at night, it's not like you can just call someone and be like, what do you think? Like do you think I pooped the bed? It's like. You have to. Deal with it on your own. And I get a lot of these anxieties late at night. Like the weird ones. Like the weird ones, like about, like the elevator. In dog situation or like the cats running out of the. My weird front door. And **** like that. Like, that's the stuff I think about at night. Or like, if I hurt somebody's feelings early in the day, like, all of that is stuff that comes at night, and I think that. The thing that's so crazy is that whenever you wake up the next day, it's never that bad. Do you know what I mean? You're always like, wait, why was I so anxious? I'm now no longer anxious about it, and that's what's so funny to me. It's like, why do we get so anxious and freaked out at night? And I think that that's why people. You know, so many people like use different. Things, whether it's like melatonin, which is the more of a vitamin, or even like drugs to like sleep because I think that, or alcohol or whatever, because human beings freak themselves out at night and it's a ******* huge issue and I don't know how to avoid it. Like, I don't know how we all avoid this together, like. Without like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know the answer because I I have to take melatonin sometimes before bed if I'm like, if my brain won't shut down, which melatonin is. I mean obviously don't like check with your doctor and make sure that you can take it, but it is just like a vitamin supplement that just helps you fall asleep quicker. Like, that's a great way to fall asleep if you're, you know. Up late, ruminating, which I think is the right word, ruminating. Is it ruminating? Yeah, ruminating. Oh wow. I just found an article that says how to stop ruminating. Let's see what they say. This is basically everything I just talked about, ruminating on sad thoughts if you guys don't know what ruminating means. It's when your head is filled with one single thought or a string of thoughts that just keeps repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating the process of continuously thinking about the same thoughts, which tend to be sad or dark. It's called rumination. And it can be very dangerous to your mental health. And that's very true. And I bet a lot of you deal with this. So, number one, you can distract yourself, call a friend, do chores, watch a movie, draw a draw a book, draw a picture, read a book, walk around your neighborhood. The next step is to take action so you can. Make a plan of action to address it, which is kind of what I did with the whole, like, phone thing or like that with when I thought that that person thought that I was looking at their phone when the app crashed. I was like, literally, I'm just going to ******* tell them this so that they know, and then after that I've done my part, you know what I mean? Also question your thoughts. So, like, analyze what you're thinking about. Like, is this really realistic? Come on, like me really ******** the bed. Is that really realistic? No or like. You know, the cats running out the other side of the door. I mean, yeah, it could happen. But, like, probably not in like, I could be careful. Like, you know what I mean? Probably not gonna happen. Oh, it says that people who have bad self esteem tend to ruminate so. That's a. That was a little stab in the back that I wasn't expecting from this article. I said meditation is good. Too bad I'm never gonna do that anyway. Uh, well, that was interesting. Hopefully those tips helped because I will probably take some of those too considering I have a major issue with this. Coffee? Now let's answer some questions. I hope that those stories I'm a little bit scatterbrained today and I think it showed like who knows what I just talked about. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for, that's You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. OK, time for some questions. First question is not about bedtime anxiety. Well, OK, I I I'm gonna I kind of preface this podcast saying that we were going to talk about bedtime anxiety, and then I kind of didn't talk about that. Which kind of makes me want to restart the whole episode, but I'm not going to do that because I I mean, these anxieties come to me throughout the day, but then get worse at night. That's kind of like what happens. So I asked you guys to ask me questions about bedtime anxiety, which is basically like, as I said, how everything's worse at night, whatever. So what really answer questions about that, even though that's kind of not what I talked about. But anyway, which I'm so like, ******* a perfectionist about things that literally. I like everything to be cohesive and I'm so nervous to listen to this episode and it just be a ******* train wreck. So praying that my editor can make this thing flow. God bless. Anyway, let's get into the questions. First question, what do you think of paparazzi? I actually got paparazzi yesterday and I never do. And I'm not because I'm not the type of person that people want to poparazzi, OK? Nobody ******* cares. But it did happen to me yesterday. And. It was funny because I went to a thrift store and he found me outside and I like walked around the back trying to avoid it. And he found me. And I'm not really used to it. OK? Like, I'm not used to getting paparazzi. I know that a lot of the. I know I've been seeing a lot of the tick talkers get paparazzi and stuff, and I feel like they're all used to it by now. But listen, I'm not like, this doesn't happen to me a lot unless it's like I'm obviously at an event or something and I, like, know that that's a part of the deal. But when I'm just, like, living my day-to-day life like this is not something that I'm used to yet, OK? And so I definitely get really tense and can come off as rude. But there's also so many things that I don't want to talk about, and I know that those are things that they're going to ask. So I get really anxious and I just try to, like, go away before they ask. Things that will get me into a predicament or that will start drama that I don't want to be a part of. Low and behold. He did ask me a few things that are, like kind of dramatic and I was like, **** you know, like, I don't want this to, like, start a problem like that's that's the thing I don't like when. I don't like 1. They asked me certain things because I'm like, this will start drama in my personal life that I don't want to deal with. You know what I'm saying? And so that's what I fear with it. If they were just like, hey, Emma, what are you working on right now? I mean, that would be totally fine and cool, but it's like, I fear that they're going to ask me something that could cause drama in my personal life, and that is what I don't like. So anyway, the other problem was he also followed me to a gas station and he followed me. Like, he continued to follow me like for an hour because I would like, he followed me to the thrift store and then he followed me to the gas station and I just was like, I'm trying to have a normal day here, dude. I'm. I mean, and I get it. I whatever. I guess I signed up for this, but also not really because I didn't think that Youtubers got paparazzi. So we live in a different time. This is not something I ever expected to happen to me. I think that there are definitely annoying, but I also understand they're doing their job, but I also feel like. Sometimes they. Can like definitely invade privacy? And I mean. I'm on the fence about how I feel about it. It's like. Listen, I I can't promise I'm going to be the nicest person on the planet when it happens to me, but at the same time, like they are doing their job and it sucks that it exists and it's really violating, but it's also part of it and whatever. But I literally like start shaking every time I see one and like fully full body shakes so. Yeah, but I was, like, reading comments. We were like, Emma's really rude. And I was like, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just ******* uncomfortable. Like listen, I'm a normal, I'm a normal gal here. Dealing with it. I don't know. I don't know how to like handle this yet. I'm still learning, so anyway. Somebody said how do you like your eggs burnt? In a pan or a hard boiled. I like them burn. Somebody asked do you ever get sleep paralysis? I was seeing a lot of people talking about sleep paralysis. I don't get it. I've never had it, so I think I might have had it once. But I don't remember. I I think I would have remembered if that was sleep paralysis. But I I think I just had a dream that I was in my own room or something and I thought that I was having sleep paralysis. But then I woke up and it was not. The case so. Yeah, but no, I don't get that. I'm sorry. I wish I had advice for you guys that do get it, but I I don't. I don't have it. Somebody said what helps you turn your thoughts off? Mindless activities, I guess. And talking to my friends or family, I mean, that's just like getting to work, you know what I mean? Like just working on something. If you just lay there, you're ******. You just can't do that. I mean it just because you won't ever. It'll just keep getting worse and worse. But if you do something with your brain and kind of distract yourself, it's the only way. Somebody said sometimes I'm not tired and I just stay awake until midnight and I get so anxious. Do you have some advice? Again, even if it's midnight, I feel like this is something we need to normalize. OK, we need to normalize getting out of bed. After you put yourself to bed. Getting up and like going and doing something, it helps so much whether you go to your kitchen and you make yourself a little snack, or you get out of pen and paper and you start doodling, or you go on Tik T.O.K for a little bit and watch some cooking videos, like, whatever it may be, we need to like, just because you put yourself to sleep technically and you put yourself to bed doesn't mean that you need to fall asleep. If you can't do it, don't just lay there and torture yourself like. Tire yourself out. You know what I mean? Because that helps so much and like it. It will make you go to sleep easier. So just because you shut your eyes and you put turned your lights out doesn't mean that you have to turn them back on. I know that I can feel really trapped sometimes once my light is out. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, when you turn your light out, you feel trapped because you're like, God. Now I'm like, it's bedtime and you can psych yourself out being like, God, I need to go to sleep. I need to go to sleep. But I can't. But I can't. You don't need to go to sleep right then, OK? You can. You can do things. After you try to go to sleep if it's not working, you know what I mean. You don't. You're not locked in. To going to sleep in that moment. If it's not working, you get up and you distract yourself for a little bit, tire yourself out, and then. And then you try again. Just because the lights out doesn't mean that you're trapped. But I know that there's certain times where I like fear turning my light out because I'm like, I know that I'm have to go to sleep right now, and I know that my brain is going to start doing crazy **** and. I don't want that to happen, so I'm just not going to shut my light out and then I end up staying up too late anyway. So it's tough, but. We're going to get through this together. Somebody said, do you remember when bedtime anxiety first started happening to you? I feel like I always lived well as a kid. But because of high school it got 10 times worse. I've always had this since I was like. Probably 5 years old. I've always had this, so I don't remember a time in my life where I haven't. I mean, I go through phases where I go to sleep like a baby and everything's fine, but like, this has been on and off for me forever. I mean, seriously. So I'm kind of. I've kind of been in this ****. Somebody said, do you ever listen to sounds or music or anything when trying to go to sleep? I listened to whale noises once and that made me feel like somebody was about to jump out of my wardrobe. I don't recommend I sometimes listen to rain sounds. I've done that a few times. And that can be pleasant. But there's also sometimes it's pleasant to just have complete silence. It depends on the mood, but I've also listened to really soft music going to sleep, and that's sometimes been nice because if you're listening to music, your brain is kind of focusing on. The sounds and the music, it gives your brain something to focus on when you're trying to relax, and that can be really helpful. Somebody said is there any ways to prevent bedtime anxiety? During the day, like ways that like things that you could do that will help. Well, I think that staying connected with your friends and family and having a good communication with them throughout the day is really important because then you're not going to go to sleep and be like, Oh my God, this person hates me or this person is mad at me because you know that they're not, because you've had good communication with them throughout the day. And another thing you can do is exercise really helps me because if I exercise, then when I go to bed, I'm a lot more tired. So I just go. Another thing you can do is not try to not spend a lot of time in bed throughout the day. I find that that makes it a lot worse if I spend like all day in bed, like just like on my computer or like. You know, working on my computer or whatever that will. At what if I'm in bed all day? It makes it harder for me to fall asleep, and that will. Make it, you know, more likely for me to have that anxiety before bed. So I think exercise. Oh my dad's calling me. Not right now, Sir. Yeah. Somebody said, have you ever drank coffee to help you sleep? No? Nope, that doesn't make sense. But. Somebody said, what's your favorite type of ride at an amusement park? I don't really like going on rides anymore because again, my anxiety is too bad and I constantly feel like I'm going to be on the ride that breaks down and I die. The only ones I do like are like ones at Disneyland and stuff because they're like not upside down rides. Like they don't go upside down or anything. They're just like. They're they're a lot safer to me. They feel safer to me because they don't. They're not. As risky. You know what I mean? Like going to an amusement park that's like a carnival or something? Or like Six Flags? **** no. Those rides are so SUS to me and I like the way that they feel when I'm on them, but the risk to me of dying on one or like is just not worth it. Like I I can't. They don't feel safe to me, like they filled in like the way that I always feel like I put on my. You know my belt wrong, or like my little, like, seat belt wrong. Like I always feel like I did it wrong and it just causes me so much anxiety that I'd rather just never like. If I never if I could never go on a roller coaster again, I wouldn't. Like, I would love to never do that again. Also, skydiving? No, I don't need to do that. These types of like adrenaline things are not for me. I don't need adrenaline. I get enough adrenaline from like. I don't even know. Like, I get adrenaline from other things. I don't need to get adrenaline from a roller coaster. Like, I just don't like that feeling. So yeah. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted. I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like? The perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice. Because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people, you can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show. Or react to news, or riff on pop culture. And that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store. That's amp. Or ask Alexa to play amp. Oh my God, this is so interesting. Because I do do this and I've never talked about it. Somebody said do you make up fantasies in your head to get yourself to sleep? I really hope it's not just me. I think everybody does this like. I mean like that has really helped me with my anxiety, like creating like my ideal. Totally I do this. I mean, in certain phases of my life, you know, this is kind of weird, but especially when I'm single. Like when I'm single I just think about like what I want a relationship to be like. And like, what an ideal guide to me would be like and like how I want to be treated and stuff like. I know that that's weird, but I'm almost kind of like, manifesting it or like what I want to happen to me. You know with like? My career and stuff like that. And I make up these fantasies and like what I want my life to look like in 10 years. Like I I create, like the ideal scenario and I think about that before bed. And I know when I was really young, like when I was in like. Not even really young, but like when I was in high school. I would picture this is so embarrassing. Oh my God. I really hope that I'm not the only one that does this. Because this is embarrassing to me. I used to, like, fantasize about. The guys I had crushes on. I would like think about like, what it'd be like if they, like, told me that they liked me or something, or like if they, like, leaned in to kiss me. Like, I would think about that because I would be like, Oh my God, that'd be so awesome. I mean, I've done that even recently. Not recently, recently, but like. I've, like, done that even in my older teen years, too. Like, if I've really liked a guy, like, I'll just like. Kind of Daydream. Or even. Before bed, dream. Think about like what that would be like if they like, confess their love to me for sure. I think that that's super normal, but it is kind of embarrassing and vulnerable to talk about. Like how embarrassing and *******. Weird is it that I'm like laying in bed and I'm like, Oh my God, what if Jeremy leaned in to kiss me? Like, what the ****? I'm not in like a. Coming of age teen movie? But sometimes I feel like I am. Somebody said I was talking to this guy for like 4 months and then we started dating. But less than a month later he said he wanted to be by himself and ghosted me. I thought I could trust him, but then he just left out of nowhere. What do I do? Thank you so much. I love you with all my heart. I love you so much. This has happened to me. It is the ******* worst. God, it sucks so bad. It really does suck so bad. The thing is, he's not ready for you. He's not going to be good in a relationship anyway if he's ******* running away after four months. This is not a guy that you want to be with right now. I'm not saying that he might not make sense down the line, but just right now he's obviously not stable enough to be in a relationship. So even if you were in one with him it probably wouldn't end up being very pleasant for you anyway. Because if he's so wishy washy about it, he probably isn't in a place to be in a relationship and the relationship would probably end up hurting you emotionally down the line if you guys were to stick it out because. He would end up just treating you wrong because he's not in the right place. But it does suck and it does feel selfish because you're like, hello, you just ******* led me on for four months and now you're out of here. What the ****? Like, what's wrong with me? Like, what the ****? But trust me, that relationship would have hurt you. You're gonna be able to find somebody who is. More than happy to commit. I found that like. If you're talking to the right dude, they're not gonna be like iffy about if they should commit to you. They're gonna be like immediately. Like, yes, I want. To do that because they don't like, because they don't see, they don't have eyes for anyone else. They're not like. Oh well, I kind of want to hook up with a lot of people and, like, I don't like when you know what I mean. Like, they're ready to like. Be yours only and like. That's huge and I think that and that does exist and you will find it. Somebody said, how does being followed around by paparazzi affect your anxiety? It makes me super anxious. I mean, I kind of talked about this earlier, but like, that's why I think that I'm so, like, I can come off as rude or whatever. It's because I am literally like that **** will, like, send me into a panic attack. And of course, I mean, I'll get used to it or whatever, but it definitely it makes me super anxious and so like. I just try to get out of it as quick as possible because to be honest, you know. If I don't want to like, if I don't want to talk to them like, I mean, you know? I don't have to, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't have to talk to anybody I don't want to talk to. And that's up to me. You know what I mean? If I don't feel comfortable, or I don't want to, or they're following me to a ******* gas station like I don't have to. Like, I shouldn't have to talk to anybody. I don't want to, and that might come off as rude, but it's like also, you know? And this life is up to me, y'all. So if I don't wanna talk to somebody, I'm not gonna do it. Somebody said, do you ever get anxiety of getting broken into because you live alone? Yes. I do have a security system that's really good and so that like makes me feel better because I know that if anybody literally does anything to my house, I will, it will. There will be large alarm alarms going off, very loud ones, but. It still makes me really anxious and I literally have escape plans. Like I have so many escape plans. Like I literally this is another thing I'll think about before bed. Like, this is definitely something I ruminate about. I will literally lay in bed and think about 10 different ways that I could escape if an intruder came in. Also like, places I would hide, and I would just go down a rabbit hole thinking about all of the different ways that I could get out of it. I'm like, well, I could climb onto the roof by using this window that doesn't have a screen, and then I could climb up. And then I could jump on him and I could walk across my roof, and then I could jump onto the roof of my car, and then I could jump off my car, and then I could run out and I could run to the police station that's down the street. And then if I didn't have my phone, I could I could run to the police station, but then if I do have my phone then I can call the police from my neighbor's house. Also, I know my neighbor and I feel like I could knock on the door. So maybe I would do that and but then maybe I could also jump out of the off the balcony. But then if they went came in through the balcony then I could hide under my bed. Or I could hide in my clothes in my closet like. That's what my brain is saying to myself when I'm going to sleep. This is a funny question. I know you hate ranch, but do you still keep it in your fridge for your friends? No. My friends do not deserve ranch. They're great friends, but. I cannot support that behavior. Wait, my mom just texted me and said a cake was delivered to my door? It is not my birthday. A cake? OK, somebody said. Have you ever had surgery? Oh yeah, I actually have. This is a great question to end off on. This is a fun story. When I was in 8th grade, I believe. I was peeing blood a lot, but it wasn't from my period cause I hadn't got my period yet, so. That was weird. And. We ended up going to the doctor, got some tests. I guess I had like a lot of white blood cells in my pee. Don't know what that means. But that could mean something bad was happening to my kidney. They did a bunch of tests. I was literally in the hospital or in the doctor's office like once a week trying to figure out what this problem was. And then they wanted to test, I think, to see if there was anything cancerous going on in my kidney. So I had a kidney biopsy when I was in 8th grade and. Basically, they had to put me under anesthesia. I remember they. Played me a Meghan Trainor music video as I was going under anesthesia. Awful decision and choice. The whole experience was so traumatizing when they were. They told me I couldn't eat or drink for 12 hours prior to the surgery. And then they like made us wait an extra 4 hours. Before the surgery started because they were like super delayed and like the surgeon like needed like he was working on something else. And so it took him a lot longer to get to me. And so I had to wait an extra 4 hours. So I went like 24 hours without eating or drinking and so my body was like super traveled up. So when they were trying to find my vein to put in the IV's like my vein was so closed up because it was so dehydrated that like they couldn't fit. The the like needle in. And so they kept, like, poking my, like muscle. That was like they kept missing my vein like the vein would like. They would try to poke it in and it wouldn't. It wouldn't penetrate. And so it kept like hitting my muscle and it was hurting so bad and I was like bawling my eyes out because they could not get the ******* IV in. And then they had to put it like they tried like two different spots and finally they figured it out. And then. What else? Happened with that. Yeah, then I went under and then when they did the surgery, they accidentally. When they did the biopsy on my kidney, which is basically where they take a tiny piece of your kidney, a little chunk of it. And then they do testing on it to see if there's anything wrong. Uh, it turned out I was totally fine. I did have this like disease called like nutcrackers disease or something, but it was like you grow out of it and it's. Very not harmful, just kind of uncomfortable and whatever so anyway, but. When they did the surgery, they. I guess like a blood blister formed on my kidney, which meant that I couldn't. Leave the hospital for more days than they had expected because they had to heal that I also wasn't allowed to move. For a few days because they were like if you move you could like. The your kidney needs to heal and close that wound because they took a chunk out and if you move like it could cause like internal bleeding or whatever. So I couldn't move. So I was literally bedridden for days and then I also had that blister on my kidney, which hurt in my back, and then they ran out of like hospital space. So they put me in a room with a newborn baby. And the newborn baby cried the entire time. That I was in the hospital, so not only was I not allowed to get up and move, but I also couldn't sleep because I had a screaming baby in the room with me. The only thing separating us being a small curtain. So I would not recommend getting surgery. It was not fun. I mean, honestly, most important thing is that I was totally fine and healthy and normal and everything was OK. So very, very grateful for that, but traumatizing. Definitely a traumatizing experience. Not fun. Anywho. Well, I feel like that's enough for this episode. I feel like I didn't even ******* cover anything. Like, what the **** did I even talk about in this episode? I don't know. But. Any who? I hope that you guys enjoyed. Hanging out with me today. I love you all so much. I apparently have a cake waiting at my front door. Could not explain that. Really excited to explore it. I really want to get my nails done today, so let's manifest that. Some nail salons are open. I haven't checked yet, so let's manifest it together in 321. Done. I hope you all have an amazing day. You're all very awesome to me and I hope that tonight when you are going to sleep that you fall asleep with ease and. Without anxiety and if you do get a little anxiety, don't forget to get up. Have a glass of almond milk. Maybe go give your dog a rub on his belly. Maybe draw a picture. Or maybe watch some cooking Tik toks and together we can do this ****. I love you all. Peace out. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan Phil. What are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping give me an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Part Nissan. Recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases get one year identity theft Protection 3, Virginia State inspections, and multipoint inspections. One year tire, Rd Hazard with roadside Assistance, I3 day vehicle exchange and every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in., right, you got it. or check us out in the Apple App Store or. Google Play store use your head and trust your heart maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC dealer for full details.