Listen to Episode

Read Episode Transcript

Ramble. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans. And principal and visit us at Principal com business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit principal.com/disclosures. This episode is brought to you by Carvana. Carvana is in the business of driving you happy, and with the widest selection of used cars under $20,000, you're bound to find a car that'll put a smile on your face. They even offer customizable financing so you can plan your down and monthly payments to shop thousands of affordable vehicles 100% online. Download the app or visit carvana.com. Availability may vary by market. Hello. To jump right into the meat of it. I. Have been struggling with a little bit of an existential crisis recently and I made an episode about it. You can go check it out. It's probably called existential crisis. I don't remember what I titled it, but. I've been kind of battling with. Having an existential crisis a lot recently. And if you don't know what an existential crisis is, it's just kind of. Painfully pondering what the meaning of life is and. Yes, it's kind of dark. It's a little bit morbid, but at the same time it's very normal. Everybody experiences some form of an existential crisis at some point in their life. I think it's like. Inevitable. And recently I've been kind of dealing with that, you know, like, what's the meaning of life? What are we all doing here? What's my purpose? Why do I, you know, have to get up in the morning? What is all of this about right? I've been dealing with that a lot recently. And it kind of sent me into. A bad spot? It kind of knocked me off of my. Momentum. If that makes sense. For a while there I was doing really good, you know, I. Was meditating a little bit, I was. Cooking and trying, you know, new recipes. I was reading books as my main form of entertainment. I was. Not really going on my phone as much as I was. A light. Easygoing energy to be around, I would hope at least I thought so. And me dealing with this sort of existential crisis kind of sent me down. The wrong path a little bit. Sorry, I've. Mucus in my throat for some reason. Umm yeah, it just it kind of sent me down the wrong path. I stopped reading. I even more recently stopped cooking. I. Wasn't really that fun to hang out with, I don't think, because I was kind of all over the place, like emotionally, and my confidence plummeted because, you know, I didn't have. Grounding rituals in my daily life anymore? I eliminated all of those. And those things keep me sane and keep me confident and, you know, keep me calm. Right. Like things like reading and journaling and meditating and trying new recipes and stuff like that. Like that all. Makes me feel happy and makes me feel content and makes me feel confident for some reason. And. Those things kind of drifted away and you know, so my confidence did as well. And my contentment did as well. And. I just ended up in a really bad spot, you know what I mean? Where I kind of pushed away all of the things that make me feel good because the things that make me feel good are a lot more difficult to do than easy stuff. You know? Easy stuff is like scrolling on Instagram all day, watching YouTube videos all day. Being negative towards myself, being hateful towards myself not. Forcing myself to put my phone down and actually live in the real world, you know what I mean? Like. Going on your phone and going on YouTube and just kind of like, disappearing into the abyss of the Internet is like such an easy escape, you know what I mean? It's such a great way to kill time. And that's kind of what I was doing instead of living in the moment and doing things that enrich my life that might be a little bit more labor intensive but actually make me really happy instead of doing those things I just started. Becoming a robot and I just was. Disappearing into my phone and computer and just. Not doing anything that. Made my life feel. Exciting, right? And the irony of the whole thing is, like, I was having this existential crisis, asking myself, what's the meaning of life? What the **** is going on? Why are we all on this planet? What makes life worth living? You know, I'm asking myself all these questions. And meanwhile, in the background of my life. I'm doing things that make my life miserable, which is neglecting. Things that I enjoy. And justice disappearing into the Internet and just going on my phone all the time and going on my computer all the time. You know what I mean? And. Not being present, right? So it's like it's ironic because. When you are dealing with an existential crisis or something of that sort, the best thing that you can do is journal and read books and. Meditate and go outside. You know what I mean. All of those things will help you. Find. The answer, or at least the temporary answer, to your existential crisis, right? But yet, when you are mentally dealing with the turmoil of an existential crisis, it's exhausting. And it and it might cause you. To neglect all of those good things, and the next thing you know you're in a double bad spot, right? You're having an existential crisis and you've fallen off of your path. You've fallen out of your rhythm, you're not doing your daily things that keep you sane, and then you're just in a way worse spot than you need to be. And. That can, you know, cause a little bit. If you're prone to depression, that can start to cause a little depressive episode. And even if you're not prone to depression, it can just cause. A moment of sadness, a moment of pain. Like a moment of kind of despair. And like, where do I go next, right? And I. Found myself falling into a kind of a depressive episode and you're probably like, Emma, how often can one little ***** have a ******* depressive episode? Y'all, I'm asking the same question. Let's not go there. Let's not go there. Listen, if it was up to me, I would never have one again. Babes. Let's just get that clear, OK? I am not choosing to have these. They come in, they start to creep in, and I can, like, cut them off, right? I can cut it off before it gets bad, OK? But I bring it up a lot because, you know, the demons come back, OK? They come back and they come back a lot and. You know I'm constantly battling them, right? That's why this is a common topic for me, OK? Because they they want to come back, but. I gained my strength. And I pushed them away and I get rid of them temporarily until they want to come back again, because that's how mental health works is that it's a ebb and flow. And if I sound like a broken record, maybe you should go listen to a murder podcast or something. Because that's always spicy and that's always different, and it never sounds like a broken record. It's always something fresh in like a murder podcast. There I go, getting all defensive again. Like, I I swear to God, it's so funny. Like, I'm literally sitting in my bed talking to myself and I'm like, getting defensive towards no one. So. Anywho. Yeah, so basically I got to a point, I'm going to be honest. I got to a point in the last few days where I hit a wall and it got really bad and I just, you know, like I couldn't. See things in a positive light in any way, you know? And I couldn't even begin to problem solve and figure out how to get out of my slump. I just I'd fallen so deep into this slump and it seemed like it happened so quickly, you know, it happened in like. The span of a few weeks, right? And then it just it all went to **** so fast. And. I I had to turn it around, you know, as one does, I had to turn it around and I I just hit a point where I was like, alright, we got it, we gotta ******* clean up our act here. And the hard thing about that is that. When you, you know when you see yourself. Falling off of the path, right? Kind of. Straying away from what's right and. Becoming lazy in the sense of of self improvement, right? Like. When you become stagnant in that process. And you kind of let yourself go a little bit, right? That can make you really upset and and I think for everybody that makes everybody upset, right, but the hardest part. In those dark moments. Is realizing that you need to turn it around. But feeling so shameful that you got to that point in the first place. That you don't even believe in yourself. You don't believe that you can turn it around. And when you tend to be in those dark places, when you fall off the beaten path, you know. That tends to **** with your confidence, right? And when your confidence is **** then you don't believe in yourself and you don't believe that you can turn it around. And that's why it's such a hard thing to pull yourself out of, right? It's so hard when you're in those spots to pull yourself out of it because you're like, I don't even believe I can, I don't believe I'm strong enough and I just feel like a loser. For ending up here, you know what I mean? I'm I feel like **** that I ended up here. I'm embarrassed. And I feel shameful about it, you know? And you almost feel dumb even trying to turn it around because you're like, I'm a lost cause. Like I'm just a ***** ** **** idiot. How am I supposed to turn this around when, like, I didn't even have enough strength to prevent myself from getting here in the 1st place? What am I going to do? Listen. The first step is that you gotta be like, OK, I need to become friends with my ego again. You know what I mean? Like my ego is telling me that I can't turn this around because I'm stupid and I'm a dummy. You have to look at that ego in the face. And be like. I don't believe you. You're lying to me and I can turn this around, and in fact I can turn it around today if I want. There's no better time than right now. I'm, you know, you look at your ego in the face and you say I'm done. Fighting with you. We're going to be friends again and we're going to work together, OK? And you're going to stop beating me down and making me feel like ****. And I'm going to turn this around today. You watch *****. And then. Once you make the decision that nothing's going to get in your way and that you're going to turn it around. You're in a really good spot, but there's still a lot of work to do and so I'm going to tell you what I did over the past. 24 hours. To get myself from a really ****** spot to a pretty damn good spot in a very short amount of time. Just by taking 24 hours to get myself back on track so that. I could get back into my routine and I could get back into my good, healthy, strong habits. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop is such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for fallcheckoutmacys.com, that's macys.com. You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. So my approach was kind of like. OK, let's take a day. One day. To really turn this around, like, let's spend a whole 24 hours turning this **** around. And. The first thing I did. When I woke up. Was I went out and I got myself a coffee. I tried a new coffee shop. I brought that coffee home. I laid in bed and I read a book and I read. This book for six hours straight. No break, just laid in bed and read this book for six hours and. This was the this was the first thing that, like, I knew I could do because emotionally I was exhausted, like. My brain had been fighting itself. For weeks on end. Trying to figure out, you know, how to pull myself out of this rut. And then not believing that I was capable of doing it and thinking that I was just a lost cause and then covering up all that pain by disappearing into the Internet. OK, so it was like this endless loop of pain, right? And that process for me was really exhausting. And so I knew that, like, I couldn't sit down and write in my journal, and I knew that I couldn't sit and meditate. That just wasn't in my wheelhouse. I didn't have the energy to do that. I also knew that I didn't have energy to go outside and go on a walk. That I was tired. I didn't have it in me to do anything but lay in bed and read a book. And that's what I did. And I did it for six hours and at a certain point. I had regained energy and I was like, you know what? Actually, I'm ready to go and do something with my day. And so. I decided to book a hot yoga class. OK, I've never done hot yoga. I don't know. Like, I didn't know anything about it going into it, but I was like, you know what? I want to try something new. I want to do something that's relaxing but also physical. I felt like I needed to move my body, but I also didn't want to do anything. Extremely rigorous, you know, because again, I was exhausted and so I needed to move my body in some way, but I I needed it to be. Soothing to a certain extent, so I booked this hot yoga class and. I went and let me tell you, I don't like hot yoga. I found out I don't like it, but that wasn't the point. The point was I was getting up. I was trying something new. And. I was moving my body in some way. That's all that matters. Even though a hot yoga isn't my thing, I probably won't do it again. I'm still glad I did it. And I left the class feeling great. I was like, OK, I accomplished something. I did this stupid hot yoga class. I did not like it, but I completed it and I lived to tell the tale. And it wasn't terrible by any means. It just wasn't for me. Like, let me tell you, I mean, we can delve into that for a second, number one, like hot yoga is. So hot? OK, I mean, they have like heaters everywhere and you're like doing yoga while you're profusely sweating, which is like very self-explanatory. Yes, Emma, that is what hot yoga is. We get it. But. The sensation of it is not great, you know, like. Doing physical movement when it's like 100 degrees in a room is. It's actually more uncomfortable than you would expect. I'm also somebody that gets really angry when I'm overheated, and that is actually a scientific thing. Like, if you look into it, human beings release a chemical in their body when they get really warm and it makes them irritated, and it's like, not. Stupid, weird ********. Like, that's truly science. I looked into it because I was like, why do I get so ****** *** when I'm hot? Like why is that anyway? There is a reason for it. I didn't really think about that going into this hot yoga situation. You know that. Like, I'm somebody who particularly gets frustrated. When I'm overheated in hot yoga is exactly. That being overheated for an hour straight anyway. I also found the class to be very intimidating, like I've never done a yoga class and like. All these people in this yoga class knew what was going on. You know, they were. Pros, it felt like and I just. I felt stupid to be honest, but. At the end of the day though, like it didn't bum me out by any means, even though. I kind of look like an idiot in comparison to all these yogis that like go to yoga every single day and even though I didn't really enjoy it and I wouldn't do it again, it just it didn't matter. It didn't matter. I tried something new, I got out of my comfort zone a little bit and I moved my body. End of story. Great. Then I decided to go for a little a little walk and I went on a walk and the sun was going down. And. I enjoyed that a lot. You know, just going for a walk in silence. I forgot to mention that I maybe went on my phone twice this whole day. I didn't check Instagram, I didn't go. I didn't let myself go on YouTube. Umm, and something that is really interesting is actually. I always watch something on YouTube when I'm eating a meal. Like, I always eat with some sort of background noise. I like to watch YouTube videos or, you know, listen to a podcast or something like that. But I I just, I forced myself to not do that on this day. I was like, I'm going to be fully present in the moment. And so I ate all of my meals in silence. I cooked all of my meals in silence. And. That was that, you know, I forced myself to like, just reflect in my thoughts and that was it. And then I decided to. Write in my journal and. In this journal entry, you know my goal was. Number one to just discuss where my head's been at. And what the current state of my head is just so that I could have it on paper and see it in front of me and be like, OK, this is where my head's at, you know what I mean? Because my head was feeling kind of scrambled, so I wanted to, like, lay it all out. What are the struggles that I'm dealing with? What in my life is making them worse? And then following that, how can I turn this around? Like what do I need to do to fully turn this around? What habits do I need to reinstall in my life? What people are making me feel good? What people aren't making me feel good? What about my? Priorities are off. How can I shift my priorities to? Being better? What kind of? Burdens in. Mental baggage am I carrying around? That's weighing me down, you know, how can I release that? How can I let go of that? This journal entry was basically a combination of me figuring out where my head is at and then trying to figure out how I can move forward. And basically just making a plan, you know what I mean? Like. Taking a look at my social life, my work life, my family life, my own relationship with myself, what work needs to be done in all of those areas? Because I realized that. As I was neglecting, you know. My healthy habits like journaling and meditating and. Getting outside and as I was neglecting all of those things. In the midst of my existential crisis, I was also neglecting myself. Like my own relationship with myself. And I was also neglecting my relationships. With people around me and I kind of started to cut people off a little bit, you know what I mean? Like shut down. I kind of started to shut down and stop. Talking to people. And so. Through journaling in, in a lot of thinking, I was able to. Look at all the things that have gone astray. And create a plan for each individual element in my life. As to how I can get those things back on track, and when I wrote everything down and I, you know, looked it all on paper, I was like, this is not really that hard. Honestly, it's like, OK, Emma, instead of going on Instagram, you need to be reading books instead of. You know, looking at yourself in the mirror and saying mean things. Just don't ******* say mean things, you know what I mean? And. Change the way that you perceive yourself. Make the conscious effort to change that. Stop letting your anxiety take over your brain. You know you know how to. You have the coping mechanisms to. Prevent anxiety, right? Use those. You know what they are, use them. Stop neglecting your. Tools as to how to deal with, you know, things like anxiety. Don't let anxiety consume you and don't be weak in that way. Like stand up against that **** and get rid of it. Stop putting band aids on everything. Stop just disappearing into into meaningless **** like the Internet. To blur your problems like you need to face them head on, because then they just fester and get worse. It's all right in front of me. It was all right in front of me. The solutions. To all of my problems. And all of the things that I had began to neglect, they were right in front of me. You know, I know how to fix them because at one point they weren't broken, right? So I knew how to fix them, and nothing was really that far gone. Nothing was that severe I had only fallen off my path for. A really short amount of time in the grand scheme of life. I mean, for ***** sake. So like, this is this is reversible and I've reversed it before. I'm gonna reverse it again. I just fell off a little bit. I just got to get back on the horse and everything will be ******* fine. And all it really took was just 24 hours to just feel back to normal. I think a big part of this is. Just taking the first step, which is really hard. But it is. So crucial, you know, you just have to make that. First step and for me, you know that was reading a book in bed for six hours and for me, why that was such a big first step is that. In my darker moment. I was waking up and I was going on my phone immediately. And. I was staying in bed, you know, for hours after getting up. And. That made me feel hopeless. So getting up and reading, which I think is something that. Is never a waste of time, right? Waking up and doing something like that? It took a little bit of strength, you know, like it took a little bit of strength on my part. It took some courage. To do that, but I knew that it was the right thing to do, and I knew that it was also the only thing I had the energy to do. It was my only option. But it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed. And then I read books until. I have the strength to do you know, the other things that I needed to do in order to get back on track. The other thing that I did was that. I. Talk to people. I actually spoke to a therapist. Which, you know, my, my, my experiences with therapy have never been great, but I was like, you know what? I'll try a new therapist. Sure, why not? And. I don't know, you know, I don't know if it, if it's, if it's the right thing for me yet. I don't know, but. It doesn't hurt to try. And I can say that our one conversation did bring some things to life for me, you know, and made me have some realizations that I wouldn't have had otherwise. So I'll, you know, although I I can't say that. I'm gonna be a weekly therapy attendee, although it would probably do me good. I can say that that conversation. Help me. For what it's worth, and I also talked to people in my life that I normally don't get as vulnerable with about what I was going through and ask them for their perspective people that I'm close to but that I don't tend to, you know, necessarily. Let into my darker moments. You know, like I I don't tend to discuss them. With those people. But I decided to open up to those people because they wanted to help me, you know what I mean? And they're close to me in my life, but they don't ever see that side of things. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to open up to them. It's uncomfortable. I feel like they're going to reject me if they hear that I am having this issue. But I'm going to open up to them anyway because they want to help and they want to talk through things with me, and they want to relate to me and connect with me over this. So I'm going to let it happen, even though it scares me. And I did, and that felt really great as well. And that also helped me. Allowing people to help me that aren't just my parents, right, was another huge thing that I did. And that was what I did. And, you know, I don't know. If this is the solution. For. Everyone's right. But it really helped me. And. Maybe you can take a little a few of these things and use them in your own life. I don't know but. That's what I did. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that make drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. I asked you guys to ask me questions about how to get back on track. You know, after. A tough moment. And you guys asked me some questions and I'm going to. Answer them and give some advice and if you want to participate in a future episode and ask questions and ask for advice. The Twitter is at AG podcast, so go go do that if if that interests you. All right, somebody said how to not feel guilty when you're going through a rough patch for no particular reason. Like you're just going through it and you feel guilty because. Why do I feel this way, you know? I totally get this like. I I was actually feeling this when I was dealing with my existential crisis. Situation, right? I was like. You know it it sent me into kind of a dark spot, right? And. Not only did it have me questioning the meaning of life, but for some reason you know it also. Just made me negative and and pessimistic, you know and like and just generally unhappy, right? Like pondering that question. Turned me into a really unhappy gal for a second. But I was looking at it and I was looking at the bigger picture, right? Even while I was in the midst of that pain, and I was like, I have a great life. Why does it not feel great? Like, I have nothing to ******* complain about. I don't deserve to feel this way, you know? Like, I I felt so shameful. I was like, I don't deserve to feel like this. I have nothing to ******* complain about. Why am I complaining? You know what I mean? Like, why am I upset? Why am I questioning the meaning of life? Why is all of this happening when I should be fine? I don't feel like I deserve to complain. But the truth of the matter is, is that everything is relative, and you have to remember that when you're dealing with this type of struggle. Every personal experience for you, every you know, every individual's experience. Is. Simply their own and it doesn't. You know, your own personal experience on this planet doesn't. Take away from other people's experiences. It doesn't affect other people's experiences, it's simply your own. It is completely your own, and it's only relative to your own experience. You see what I'm saying? So like something that causes you pain, you know? Might seem like a stupid little petty issue to someone else, but it doesn't matter because how something affects you. Is is not up to you. And you can't fight it. You can't fight how something makes you feel. Because unfortunately, you're going to feel it. Regardless whether you fight against it or you accept it. So what you have to do is, and what I've been trying to do is accepting the fact that I'm going through a rough patch, accepting that I'm going through a moment where I need to sort some things out, and accepting that that's uncomfortable for me, that is uncomfortable for me and I am having a ****** ******* time doing it. Accepting that is weirdly calming, and it it actually alleviates the discomfort by quite a bit. Pushing it away and feeling guilty about your own pain only makes it worse. Nobody's asking you to feel guilty for for feeling upset. And anybody who is is an idiot and you shouldn't talk to them or hang out with them or be around them because they don't get it. They don't understand the human condition, which is. I farted, OK? And I'm like, do I say that again or do I just leave? Whatever. Hopefully you didn't hear it. I'm getting too comfortable. You guys. Like what is going on? Like, I just like forgot that I farted until like halfway through my fart. This happens to me too frequently anyway. Turn that guilt into acceptance. That. You're allowed to feel, however. You feel? You're allowed to feel that way, and the way that you feel is completely valid. Even if it you know, you kind of feel like you're overreacting. **** all that. If you feel a certain way. There's that's just the way that you feel. Accept it. Somebody said what do you do when you feel drained all the time, even after just taking a shower, etcetera. This was something that definitely happened to me. It happens to me frequently when I'm going through a tougher time is that I definitely do neglect my hygiene. Like that's one of the first things that goes right. It's like first it's the hygiene. Then it's the reading the books that goes away, and then it's. Then the meditating starts to go, you know, it's like everything kind of. Goes away like 1 by 1, right? And then I'm left in a ****** spot. Hygiene is definitely one of them. I don't necessarily have a solution for this because when I'm in a tough spot and I just can't get myself to shower. And you know, I can't get myself to. Take care of my hygiene. I don't force myself to do it. I just don't. Because if I don't want to do it, I'm just, I'm not going to do it. But what I will say is that something that has helped me a little bit in the past is trying to come up with something that'll Get Me Out of bed. That excites me and sounds inviting. That isn't like showering, for example, or isn't brushing my teeth, or isn't washing my face or isn't shaving my legs. I'll try to think of something else that'll Get Me Out of bed and that might be getting up and getting a snack. Like, oh, I'll make myself, like a yummy snack that'll Get Me Out of bed. And then that gets the ball moving. And then I'm like, OK, I've had a snack. I had a glass of water. You know what? Maybe I will get in the shower now. But if you're stuck in bed and you're feeling like **** and you're just like, scrolling through Instagram and you're like, I don't want to do anything. The last thing you're going to want to do is force yourself to shower when that's the last thing you want to do. And so the thought of getting out of bed is so daunting, you know, because you're like, if I get out of bed, I have to go shower, and I don't want to do that. So tempt yourself with something else that's exciting, like, oh, I'll make myself a fun little snack, or I'll go and go for a walk. Even though I smell like **** who cares? Nobody can smell me because. I'm outside by myself, like it's fine. And if somebody starts to get close to me, I will cross the street so that nobody smells me, you know what I mean? And then once you go on a walk, maybe that'll be that'll be the thing that sets. Things in motion and then you might be like, OK, Now I can actually go take a shower because I'm up and I broke this cycle. It's really important to break the cycle in some way, right? I mentioned this earlier, but like you have to break the toxic cycle of like using your unhealthy coping mechanisms, which might be going on Instagram, it might be going on YouTube, might be going on Tik T.O.K. You know, it might be. Looking in the mirror and and saying mean things to yourself or, you know, becoming obsessive about ****. Like whether you're obsessive about, you know, organizing or how you look, you know, like it's. You have to break the cycle and in turn those things off for a second and. Get yourself to do anything but those negative things. It could be anything as long as it's not negative. Just find one thing. And then get the ball rolling and then you will start to regain the energy to do things like shower. Somebody said how to not or try not to let small things affect you when you're trying to get back up. Sometimes a minor inconvenience will happen and it'll bring me all the way back down. Totally this happened to me multiple times. Before I made the decision and hit really rock bottom where I was like, OK, I really need to actually turn this around because I'm really getting into a really dark spot. Like I was in a dark spot before, but like now I'm in a getting to a point where. Too dark, right? I really need to turn this around now. In the moments leading up to me hitting the the turning point right. I kept trying, you know, to like get myself back on track, but then like 1 little thing would would knock me off. My path, right? A good example would be like, you know, one day I spent. Half the day in bed and then I was like, OK, I'm gonna go cook a recipe. And I opened the fridge to get out the ingredients in. Like half of the ingredients were rotten. And I was like, **** OK? And so I was like, you know what? **** this, I'm going back into bed. And so I just went back into bed. But what I should have done truly and even though you know. I'm. I'm literally like. I'm giving my past self advice. I really should have forced myself. To just go to the grocery store. And do it anyway. Get all the ingredients again. In force myself to do it, I should have forced myself to do it. Because that would have been. The first step. And I know that now because I'm in a much more rational state, right? I know now that, like, if I would have gone to the grocery store and I would have. Push through that minor inconvenience. It would have, you know, gotten me. Back into rhythm much sooner. And I think that remembering that. Doing something that seems really hard. When you're in a dark spot. That normally seems so easy, like going to the grocery store or taking a shower or picking up a book and reading it. You know, the stuff that feels really hard. In those moments. Are exactly what you should be doing because. Here's what it does. Here's what happens, right? A minor inconvenience sets you off and you know. Makes you just want to give up, right? But if you problem solve. And despite the minor inconvenience, you managed to accomplish that thing that felt so hard. For me it was. Cooking that recipe, right? If I would have just went to the store. Guarding ingredients in cooked that recipe. At the end of it I would have a burst of confidence because. I would have shown myself that I was able to overcome my own discomfort. And that my demons and my dark energy in my brain did not. Win. It lost. And that would help me rebuild my confidence in myself that I am capable of doing these small little tasks that seem impossible I am. Capable of doing those, and I did. And then once you get that burst of confidence, your energy starts to come back. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear.com/emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Someone said I really want to get back into routine and start exercising again, but I'm very stressed with school work and so much other stuff that it feels like I have no time, but when I do have time. I feel like I'm always wasting it or I'm being unproductive. Tips on getting out of a slump? The first thing that you need to address is your stress. Because. You being stressed out about school? Is making you so exhausted that when you do have free time, you don't have energy to do anything except for. Sink into your bed because you're spending all. Hours of the day, stressing out about school 24/7 and work, whatever you're stressed out about because you're stressed out about something. Your mind is constantly working on that, it's constantly thinking on that, and it's making itself exhausted so that you can't use your free time. In ways that make you happy. And so the first thing that you need to do is address the stress. What can you do? To. Alleviate your stress. At least by 50%, what can you do to make? Your life a little bit less stressful. Get out a journal, make a plan. You know, let's say with school. You're like. Studying is so overwhelming for me. I never feel like I'm being efficient when I'm studying. And you know, I I don't have like, I don't ever feel prepared for tests and like I don't know what to do and that stressing you out. You know, the fact that you feel like you don't have a a strategy when it comes to studying for tests. Whip out a journal and map out a plan of how. You want to structure your studying time for school, you know. Maybe that means changing the way that you take notes in class. Maybe that's. Changing you know the frequency of how you study instead of studying. For six hours the night before you start studying. Two weeks in advance for only 15 minutes a day. You set a timer and that's it. You know, start brainstorming how you can. Make these inevitable situations in your life, like work in school. More tolerable and less stressful so that your brain can be a little bit more at ease, so that when you do have free time, instead of being completely exhausted by your stress, you know you feel energized because. School and work isn't draining you as much because you have a structure in place that makes it more workable and makes it less stressful. You'll have the energy to exercise, and you'll have the energy to figure out a routine, and you'll have the energy and excitement to do those things, and you won't be so drained that you can't even begin, you know. Somebody said any habits to help? Stop negative self talk. It usually just ends up getting into a cycle and it's very hard for me to pick myself up. The first step is you need to get off your phone. I don't know what it is, but being on my phone, being on Instagram. Being on YouTube, all of that **** makes myself esteem so much ******* worse. I don't think it's avoidable, you know? It's it's out of our control at this point. It's a ******* monster and it can be used for great, you know what I mean? It totally can. And there's so many great things about the Internet. I learned things daily on the Internet. I'm inspired by things daily on the Internet, but when you're on it too much and you don't have. A balance between you know, your real life and your phone life for whatever reason, that can really make yourself esteem worse because when you start to see too much of what other people are doing. It's so overstimulating you're seeing what so many people are doing at once. It's impossible. To not start to compare yourself to what other people are doing. And what they look like and what they're wearing. You know you have to. Put that **** down when it starts to be too much and you have to know your limits. That's how I always you know, that's the first step for stopping negative self talk for me. But then Step 2 is to immerse yourself in things that make you feel good and help build your confidence, whether that's leaning into your hobbies or, you know, disappearing into a book that makes you feel good or. Moving your body in some way, doing some fun form of exercise, hanging out with friends that make you feel good and that boost your. Confidence and excitement for life, like whatever it may be. Be present in the real world without the Internet, in some way that uplifts you. And it'll make you realize that, number one, you're not. You're not a bad person. You. Are not an ugly person. You're not. Boring. You're not a loser. All of that is just. Your brain's response? To being over stimulated by the Internet. In seeing what millions of people are doing at any given moment while you're sitting. In your bed, looking at it, you know that's huge. And I know that negative self talk is also rooted in many other things, but I think. Above all, it's really rooted in the Internet. Like a lot of it is. Truly. And just not having, you know, a good balance between Internet and real life. But I will say that you know when it comes to negative self talk. That can also be a coping mechanism in a way like for me personally when I feel. Out of control in my life in some way. Or I feel vulnerable in some way and it's making me uncomfortable. My mind immediately resorts to negative self talk. Almost as a. Coping mechanism and as a. Defense mode. You know, because I'm like, if I'm mean to myself, then no one else can be mean to me. And. I'm in control of it. I'm in control of making myself feel like ****. You know what I mean, and I'm in control. Of the narrative of myself, which is that it's I I hate myself. I'm in control of that narrative. Be aware of where your negative self talk is coming from. And address it at the source. You know what I mean? Be like, OK, why am I being so hard on myself? Is it because I've been on my phone too much? Or is it because there's an area of my life that I feel out of control in? Or I feel like I'm, you know? Insufficient in some way in some area of my life, like where is this rooted? Like. Where is this stemming from? Address it at the root. And then immerse yourself. In things that make you feel good in whatever. Way you need to. Somebody said when you have a period of days where you feel like you're slipping back into a bad place mentally, how can you prevent that? Or what have you learned to do to help yourself before you get into the bad place? I think the key is to. Remember that tomorrow is a new day and to make a decision. That you are going to make tomorrow. A good day, right? That might mean planning out. Your day, you know what I mean. Planning out your following day. And being like, OK, I'm going to do all of these things to make myself feel good tomorrow. I'm going to, you know, wake up at this time, I'm going to go for a walk, and then I'm going to go get a coffee, and then I'm going to come home and I'm going to study for two hours and then I'm going to. Listen to music and paint for two hours and then I'm going to like make a detailed schedule for yourself that you know will make you feel good and will make you get back on track. And then that might just be what it takes to snap you out of it. Somebody said how do you fall back in love with things that you've lost interest in? Sometimes it's hard to keep sight of your dreams or even your favorite craft because it isn't what you expected it to be. Is there any way to change this, or should you just keep moving forward? I think you take a break. Sometimes the best thing you can do to revitalize a passion for something is to step away from it for a second. Too much of anything is not good and if you're forcing yourself to be focused on something. 24/7 when the passion isn't there, you're just beating a dead horse. You need to take a break. Even if it's just three days, even if it's just a month, it doesn't matter. Take a break. Get away from it for a second. It it does a world of difference. And it allows you. To see things from a new perspective. From a more open minded perspective, so that you can. Figure out a way to fall back in love with it. Somebody said how do I stop comparing myself to other girls? Again, I really think. It is the Internet, especially Tik T.O.K. For whatever reason when I had Tik T.O.K. I don't know what it is about that app, but I really it made me compare myself to people constantly. And you know. Be honest with yourself. Is your usage of the Internet making you feel like ****? It's not healthy to be seeing all of these beautiful women that are like. Perfectly done up. You know, with the perfect lighting, possibly even phase tuned a little bit, it's so unhealthy for us to be seeing that all the time. And I know it's so cliche at this point, but seeing. Tailored images of people on the Internet that are perfect all the time absolutely take a huge toll on us subconsciously. That cannot be ignored. So, number one, really, be honest with yourself. Is your Internet usage making this worse? The answer is almost definitely yes. #2. You need to find confidence. That has nothing to do with. Your looks and with. Service level things about you. By doing things like becoming more knowledgeable by reading or by, you know, finding hobbies that you're passionate about, or by taking care of yourself physically. By doing those types of things. You start to build a confidence that transcends your appearance. The the realist and truest confidence comes from being a happy person. It doesn't come from looking good. It doesn't come from, you know. Being the most talented at something. It comes from just being a happy person. And. The moment that you are able to find happiness. Within your own life is the moment that you stop looking around at what other people are doing and comparing and. It doesn't come easy, you know. It takes time. But start trying to find things that. Make you excited about life, whether it's a hobby or anything, right? Anything. And lean into it. And. Treat yourself with love. And feed your soul with things that make you feel good. No matter what that may be. And that will make you naturally happier. In addition to cutting down your social media usage. Doing things that make you happy. No matter what they are. Will help you build your confidence in your own life and in your own purpose so that you don't feel the need to look around anymore. It's a lot easier said than done, and it's a lifelong journey that we're all going to have to deal with. But. I'm just planning the seed, you know what I mean. Not only for you, but for me too. Because listen, as much as I know the answer, in a sense. It doesn't mean that. It's an easy journey. I don't have it figured out, that's for damn sure I know what I'm striving for, but it's it's a journey that we're all on together. Anyway, you guys, that's all I got for today. I appreciate you guys so much for coming back. In listening to me. It really does mean the world to me and. I just love talking to you guys, so thank you for hanging out today. I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your week and if you don't listen, it happens and you're going to figure it out and you're gonna pull your *** out of that **** OK, we're in this together. If you want to subscribe to anything goes, you can do so on any platform that you listen to podcast. And if you want to follow anything goes on Twitter, you can do so at a G podcast and you can leave a review. Let me know what you think of my podcast on Apple Podcasts. I really, really appreciate it. And I appreciate you guys support every single day and we'll talk soon.