Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

emotions

emotions

Thu, 23 Apr 2020 10:00

Emotions, we all have them, and they can be a really tricky thing to navigate. Emma gets sensitive sometimes, as we all do, and she talks through it on this episode like a therapy session. From getting over people who wrong you, to worrying about relationships, letting yourself be vulnerable and opening up, why crying is actually good for us, and a lot more. Plus, Frankie the cat makes a (very short) cameo appearance on the podcast. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I am in my closet right now with my cat, so if you hear weird sounds, literally she's running around and doing the most annoying things. Possible? She's just being so loud. She's never loud like this. I thought it would be fun. Like maybe I could record with her sitting on my lap. I could pet her and it'd be really relaxing, but she's kind of ruining my life right now. But she's hella cute, so it's cool. Ah, OK, so. Today we're talking about something that I'm struggling with in the current moment. If you haven't noticed, this podcast is therapy for me, probably more than it is useful for you. It's actually useful for me, which is amazing for me because I need. Anything I can get. So I've been loving it. You know that already, though I don't have to say it. So today we're going to be talking about. Me being a sensitive *** little *****. That's what we're talking about, because. The fact that I am so sensitive. See, that was my cat she just tried to jump up onto. A piece of furniture and then she slipped. I might have to kick her out of this room at some point anyways. I've been struggling recently with how sensitive I am. More than usual. And I woke up this morning and it was something's bothering me which I'm not going to get into. Directly. My alarm just went off. I'm having sensory overload. My cat's ******* jumping everywhere. I'm just trying to get a ******* word out. My alarms are going off from this morning because I woke up earlier than I thought I would. I'm kicking Frankie out of here. Here. I swear to God, there's no element of peace when you're a mother. It's crazy anyway. My over sensitiveness, if that's a word like my. Sensitive side sometimes ***** me over. And, you know, sensitive in my. OK, I'm gonna give you a little definition of sensitive, in my opinion. I mean, there's an obvious definition, but like what I'm referring to. Is being sensitive to people's energy being sensitive in general, like just being very? Sensitive sensitive is the only word I can use to describe sensitive because there's no other word to use. Maybe I need to pull out a dictionary anyway? And just kind of overthinking things a lot and like. Thinking twice about everything and just like. Overworking my brain in that way, but also being emotional and all of that. That's kind of what we're going to be talking about today because it's kind of biting me in the *** right now and. I bet it bites a lot of you guys in the *** too, so I want to vent about it and maybe we can kind of help each other here. And learn something. We're calling this the sensitive episode. What's funny about me being as sensitive as I am is that that's not really something that many people know about me because I really don't come off as being super sensitive. Not a lot of people would know that just upon meeting me because I think. Possibly as a coping mechanism. I come off. Very nonchalant and like, I don't really care about anything. Even when I really ******* care. Like, I don't know if it's because I'm a Gemini and Gemini are really good at being. 2 faced in a sense, but. Like, I just come off like, I don't care and I know that I do that. Like, I'm fully aware that I do that, but it is full. It's definitely a coping mechanism. Now that I'm actually thinking about it more, I come off like I don't give a **** because that makes me less vulnerable. Which then? Prevents me from. Getting inevitably hurt. Eventually. Although I don't mind coming off like I don't care because there's actually a lot of things I don't care about, so it's like. It's kind of a weird thing because it's like I act like I don't care about anything, and the truth is, I do care about a lot of things, but I also don't care about a lot of things. So, and both of them are like very extreme left and right here. Like I'm either really, really ******* care about something or I don't care about it at all. Like there's no in between. I'm very. Extreme like that. All my feelings are very extreme, like I have very extreme emotions. Like, I'm never like 5050 on something. I'm always like 100 or 100. So maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe I should be a little bit more. Up front with everybody about the things that I'm sensitive about. Maybe that would prevent me from getting hurt a little bit. I don't know. But for now, I'm just gonna act like I don't care about anything, and the only people that really know that I care about **** are people that are close to me. And there's like five of them. And you guys actually, because I really open up on here, but I don't know why I do that, to give you a sense of actually how sensitive I am about random **** because I think that's kind of funny. Let me tell you about the things that make me cry randomly. Besides the obvious like. Emotional take talks. I've always had this weird sensitivity about gifts. OK, not giving or receiving gifts myself, none of that. If I'm on Facebook POV, I'm on Facebook and I'm scrolling through and I see a video about. Somebody receiving a really sentimental gift. I start crying, another thing that makes me start crying. POV a grandma. Or. A mom or somebody makes a dinner for their entire entire family. Family doesn't show up. That **** ruins me. That is the one thing that makes me cry the most is when somebody puts a lot of effort into something. And then they go unnoticed. Oh my God, I'm literally getting choked up right now thinking about it. I have a really hard time with that. I remember I saw this video once of this guy who made. Banana bread or something? And he brought it to work, and he left it on the counter. And then nobody ate the banana bread, like, the whole day went by and nobody cut a piece off. And he's, like, watching, waiting for people to take a bite of this banana bread, like, take a little piece for themselves. And nobody did it. And he was so upset. And he was like, what's wrong with my banana bread? That made me literally cry. I remember that video was even kind of a comedy video. I don't even think it was meant to be, like, really sad. But I literally almost started crying about it. Like, there's something about those situations that make me so emotional. I wish I understood why, but like that **** makes me cry. I ******* cried while watching a Disney movie. The other week it was like maybe there's probably a month ago now cause time is flying by. I don't even know what day it is, but I watched the Disney movie onward and I don't know if I've talked about this on here yet, but onward. And I completely I'm not going to spoil the movie because I think you guys should watch it. Disney movies can sometimes end so ****** **. This movie. Oh my God, I'm literally going to start crying just thinking about it the way that this movie ends. Should ******* be illegal. It is so ****** **. It is so wrong. It is so wrong. It was so not. It was so ******. I was crying my eyes out. I was at my friend's house. There was like probably seven of us watching this movie. I know Emma with seven people at the same time. That's literally unheard of. I was crying in front of literally six other people. Bawling my eyes out like not just like tearing up like fully like like because it was so ****** **. Don't watch that movie, but also please watch it cause I wanna vent about it with somebody. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visitdrinkcircle.com/emma that's drinkcirkul.com/emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. Anyway, moving on from the mundane **** that makes me cry, I'm going to talk about how my over sensitiveness affects me socially. So. Since I was young. I've always kind of had. In issue, I think my main issue with friendships is the fact that I'm too sensitive in friendships. And it's gotten better, but let's dive into it a little bit. When I was way younger, I was. Always analyzing how my friends felt about me. Constantly thought my friends were mad at me. Constantly felt like my friends were lying to me. Constantly felt like. They didn't want to be around me and they were just faking being friends with me for whatever reason, throughout elementary middle high school always felt like that. I don't really know why that is. It might have been just insecurity. For a bunch of reasons that are not important, but like, I definitely had reasons to be insecure. You know, I mean, I didn't, but like, in my head I did. And so I can kind of see possibly how my insecurities led to me questioning all my friendships, but I also think it was because I was so hyper sensitive to. How they were behaving around me from such a young age that I couldn't even understand why I was like. Overanalyzing every single word my friend said and over analyzing every single action and over analyzing everything when actually none of it really mattered and none of it's actually that deep. But when I was younger I didn't have that life experience to know that like I was over analyzing and so I just drove myself ******* insane. And then by the time I got to high school it got to a point where like I was so hyper focused on everything that my friends were doing that it was exhausting and I didn't even want to hang out with my friends anymore. It wasn't even just like trying to figure out whether or not they hated me or if they were mad at me. It actually kind of ended up evolving into me being super sensitive to their emotions. And I had a lot of friends that were really mean in high school. I had some great friends too, who were cool, and some friends that even, like, maybe they were mean at the time but probably aren't even mean now. Who knows? But like, there are a lot of mean people in high school that just like, they didn't even mean to be mean, but they were just kind of ******. And like that energy would like drive me insane and make me miserable because it was like I was. So sensitive to every single thing that they would say. And I was so sensitive to every action that they would act that like. It was miserable for me to hang out with anybody at a certain point. Because it was like if I wasn't over analyzing them, then their vibe was off and I could feel it. And that would make me uncomfortable and I would start to absorb that energy and then I would start to feel miserable or I would start to be mean. And it was like I was absorbing everybody's energies and like it was just too much for me to ******* handle. And I so I just ended up cutting off like every high school friend I had because it was like I was just too sensitive to almost have friends, literally. And then I moved to LA and then it was kind of like the same thing happened all over again. I made a lot of friends and then for different reasons because I'm so sensitive about so many different things, a lot of the friendships I ended up cutting off abruptly and not saying it's even any of their faults, because I don't want to blame anybody for anything and I don't want to be an *******. But like let's kind of focus on me and my part in this. I can't handle when people have an energy that I don't like or when they're wishy washy with me and like they're not true about how they feel about me and they're like half assing the friendship because that's not how I roll. And so I absorb that and then I like. It drives me crazy. I don't really know if that makes sense, but. That's why I have like very few friends left, because I like to hang out with people that I feel safe with and that I feel like aren't just gonna turn on me in a second. And also that are good people, you know, genuinely. Because when people are bad people, I absorb that and I can like feel that and that. Like eats at me, inside and **** so. That's probably why I don't have a lot of friends, you know? It's just sometimes hanging out with people is more tiring than just being by myself. It's like being around people is like sensory overload for me. And it has been since I was younger, which is funny because I still love to be social. Like, I love it, but like more with people that I don't know that well, because that's like, not as much of a responsibility, right? Hanging out with somebody that you're like 5050 friends with is such. It's so exhausting because it's like you don't really know them and well enough to have a good line of communication. You know, you don't really know if you can trust them. Like, you don't know if they're lying to you. Like, everything is just so up in the air when you're like half friends with somebody. Whereas, like going and being social at like a social event where you meet somebody and you have a good conversation with them and then you never speak to them again, like, that's amazing because there's just no commitment involved. It doesn't matter how that conversation goes. You don't have to overthink what you're saying, like, whatever. Umm. And then with people that you're really close with, it's like, you know, you don't have anything to worry about, so it's whatever. But for those 5050 friends, that **** is so exhausting. And that's why sometimes I don't. My friendships never reach maybe their full potential because I just have to dip out before it can even get there. Because I just don't even have the patience or the energy to, like, nurture it, to get to the point that it could be because I'm spending too much of my time overthinking it or they just suck. So there's that, those two options. But yeah, I get tired. As I I kind of cut my own self off about the whole sensory overload thing hanging out with people. That. Maybe don't get you or. You don't know that well. It's like 5050, friend. As I said, it's like sensory overload because you're like trying to figure out their energy and like what's going on in their mind. And then you're also trying to figure out, like, how they feel about you. And then you're also trying to figure out if you even want to be friends with this person. And then you're trying to figure out, you know, how you can like, if you're like me and your people, please, or how you like, how you can cater to them so that you're being the best friend possible because you're worried about your status with this person and you don't know if I know. I'm, like, going too deep into it. But it's like, this is the way that my subconscious mind works, and I'm just putting it into words now. And now it sounds stupid, but like when it's happening in my brain. Like it. It makes complete sense. And The thing is too is that I immediately know how somebody is feeling. The second that I'm in the same room as them, my friends will tell you this. Nobody can hide their emotions from me. I can read everyone like a book. Usually. And so I know that kind of contradicts what I said earlier because I'm like, I'm always trying to figure out how somebody's feeling. I know how somebody's feeling, but I don't know why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. Does that make sense? So, like, I always know the way that everyone's feeling immediately. I can tell if somebody's putting a wall up. I can tell. Like, I think I'm just, I don't think I'm ******* psychic. I just think that I'm really, I really, really pay attention to people's body language. And that's like a huge. Thing for me, like I make sure that I am paying attention to people's body language. And so that makes me very like I can see how somebody's feeling immediately when I get in the room with them, even if I don't know them. But I don't know why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. And because I'm so perceptive, if you will, about how people are feeling, it makes me hyper aware of that. And then it makes me question why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. And then because I'm kind of sensitive, I always think that it's my fault. Like let's say somebody's in a bad mood. I'm like, this is my fault. I always think it's my fault and it never ******* is. Actually it has been a few times, but usually it's not and like and I'm just overthinking it, so that is the jumbled. Explanation of my sensitive mind. OK, it doesn't make any sense. Well, guess what? It doesn't make any sense to me either. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese's base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear, obviously, the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe. I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Now let me talk about how this has been affecting me recently. OK, so. I feel like I've just come out of such a pivotal part of my life. Like I moved to LA. I made a bunch of friends and then I've kind of now finally settled with who are my actual people that I vibe with, that understand me, that hanging out with them isn't a chore. It's like just natural. There's no effort that needs to be put in. It's like very organic, no stress whatever, like super. Just this loyalty and like, trust. That's just like, whatever. So I found that now, which is amazing. And that has like, but, but the but the point between me trying to figure out who my people were and also trying to get settled in LA and now like there was, I don't know when the point exactly was. I think it was recently, to be honest, where I went from just kind of having constant uncertainty about like who my friends were, who were my people were, who I can trust, like feeling safe and secure in LA and feeling comfortable here, like. I didn't have any of that stability up until recently. I like literally within the past probably two months to be honest. But now I'm in an interesting spot because. Everything in my life right now is good. I trust everybody. I feel really good about all the relationships I have and everything's great. But the problem is that I can't stop putting myself out there, like, just because I have a really great group of friends. I can't just isolate myself and stop trying, right? Like I still need to be trying to meet new people and trying to expand my circle because at the end of the day, like life is about. Surrounding yourself with as many good people as you can and like, enjoying people's company like that's what I feel like life. That's when I get the most joys, being around people that I love and feel safe around and whatever. But I need to do that like, I need to be open minded and I need to like, let some people in a little bit and take a little bit of some risk. But it's so scary for me because I have been ****** over a little bit sometimes in the past, you know, because I've been so sensitive. I think it's affected me a little bit more and maybe a little bit longer. Who knows? But like, you know, because I've been ****** over so many different random times in so many different random ways now every time I go into a new friendship. For new relationship, even whatever, I cannot let go of what other people have done to me and I cannot, I've not figured out how to understand that like every single human being is different and. Me talking to a new human being, whether it's a friend, a ******* boy, I don't know. I don't care. A ******* coworker, for ***** sake. I don't care. Like I don't know how to not carry my hurt from my past. Relationships and friendships. Relationships is broad, not like dating, strictly. I'm talking about all relationships, every single type. I don't know how to not bring that past upset into new ****. I don't know how to let go of it. Like, I hold on to it. Like, I woke up this morning and and I literally go downstairs. My mom's visiting me right now, right now, and I was literally like, I cannot get over this one thing. That somebody did to me. There's this one thing that somebody did to me that I just cannot get over. And I was like, and it's making me hold back in potential friendships that I could be making right now because of something that one person did. And they're their own person. And who knows? They could have learned from what they did? I don't know. They could have like, you know, I don't care. It doesn't matter. I still am, like, traumatized from that and I don't know how to let go of it. So I hope that some of you guys are on the same. I mean, I don't because this is ******. It's almost like kind of having, I think this is what what the Twitter stance called trust issues, OK? I think I kind of have a little bit of trust issues, and I don't know if it's because I'm really sensitive and so I hold on to these things more because I take everything a little bit more to heart than I should. Like there's just no reason for me to be taking things to heart like I do and to be making everything such a personal attack on me. Like, there's no reason for me to be behaving like that, but I do. And so I want to try to work through this together. Maybe we can give ourselves some homework and figure out how we can get through this **** because I don't know how to not hold on to. The past. What the ****? I can't believe I'm talking. I don't even think I've worked through this **** with actually another human being and now I'm talking into a microphone by myself in my closet about this. Like, this is literally something that people talk about to their therapist, and I am literally putting it on the Internet and I don't know if that's a bad thing. I don't think it is. I like it. I don't know why I like it, but I think I like it because it's almost like. Less confrontational. I can talk about my problems and then if I want to go read what people are saying about it, I can't. But it's like up to me. It's like when you're in the room with a therapist, you're talking about **** and you're immediately getting a response. I don't know if I like that. I mean, I should like it. I probably should get a therapist, but I don't. Really bad. This is off topic, but why not? I had a really bad experience with therapy as a child. And I'll talk about it. Why not? This is why I use this podcast and I don't go to therapy. So when I was probably around 11, I my parents were divorced. They've been divorced for a few years. At that point. My parents were starting to date a little bit, and so I was really having a hard time with that. And so my parents were. You should go to therapy and obviously me being 11, I was like, **** no. But then I didn't really have a choice cause I was 11 and I didn't know it was best for me. And so my parents were like, let's try therapy for her, cause she's, you know, struggling a little bit. So they sent me to therapy and I ******* hated it. I hated it. I had to leave school every Tuesday at around. Noon and I had to go to therapy and. I really didn't like my therapist. She just was such a ***** to me and I felt like she was, she wasn't a ***** but like she didn't mean to be a ***** I don't think. But like in my 11 year old mind, I thought she was such a *****. And I was like, I felt like the way that she was communicating with me, she was talking to me like I was a little baby and she and I would literally, I just would sit. She had this little sandbox that was like with the magic sand and I would sit there and I would play with the sand and she would ask me questions and I would. Not respond to her the entire session. And then I would after my mom would pick me up. And I'd say, mom, can you give me a bagel? And she would say, yeah, let's go to get a bagel, and then we'd get a bagel for me, and then I'd go back to school and. It was miserable, though. I hated it. I hated going to therapy. It was like it was such a chore and I just was not ready to like, talk about my problems yet and like I felt like I was being forced and it was just so awful and it was so traumatizing. And I remember one time I went to Ireland with my mom during this time. And my mom, we were gonna. My mom and I were gonna extend our trip. And I was like, can we please extend the trip? I I don't wanna go back yet. My mom was like, why do you wanna go back? And I was like, please, I don't wanna go back and I start crying. She's like, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't ever want to go to that therapist again. Can we please stop? Please don't ever make me go there again. And I was so upset and traumatized and I can't really understand now why I was so upset and traumatized by it. But like, like, I don't know. I'm not in my 11 year old body. I don't remember exactly what was so bad about it. And to be honest, I think I blocked most of it out of my head. But all I know is that therapy has this, like, really, really toxic. Gross. Feeling it makes me feel this weird feeling in my chest, and so I just haven't been able to get myself to go since. But I have talked to a few energy readers over the phone when I've gone through some really, really tough times within the past two years. There's like these energy readers that you can call. They're like therapists. They're not like psychics or anything. They're just like people that try to read your energy and like, help you. They're basically a therapist, but over the phone. And I've called this one woman a few times, and she's helped. She helped me a lot. So maybe I should get a therapist. Or maybe I can just call the energy reader at my disposal. Anyway, why? Why? This is crazy. I'm kind of shocking myself with how open I'm being. Like, I don't know how I can just talk about this **** and put it on the Internet and not. Be like, hey, I'm a maybe this is personal, but I don't care. Like, I don't feel like it is. I feel like this is like, what's wrong with talking about it? I'm having an internal battle about it. Like, is this? Would this make people uncomfortable? See, this is me being ******* overly sensitive, wondering, like, are people going to get uncomfortable while listening to this because I'm kind of just word vomiting and talking about my feelings. Like, do people even want to hear that? This is my sensitive side coming out and nobody wants to hear it. She's not really fun to be around. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu all right before I talk about. How I can improve and how we can all improve on our over sensibility and sensitivity sense sensitiveness. I thought we could answer some questions about being sensitive. Umm, somebody asked me, what's the stupidest thing you've cried over? Probably the onward movie The Disney movie. That was stupid. But then again that plot was pretty ******* sad so I don't really blame myself. God, what would? What's this stupid thing I cried over? Let me think for a second. I really need to think about this. There's probably a funny answer. You know what's happened before? I don't have a specific example, but like, you know when you stub your toe really hard and you're alone and it just ****** you off? I've cried multiple times from **** like stubbing my toe because it's like sometimes it just hits different and like sometimes it just hits home and it just said it just sends you over the IT just sends you. Pushes you over the edge, so that's something stupid I've cried about. Moving on. Somebody asked, how can I open up to people without crying every time I try to? I don't know how to control my emotions. This is actually a interesting one because I used to be like this where, and I still am actually, when I'm talking about things that are like, if somebody asked me what's wrong and it's something that's really, really emotional for me, I'll definitely burst out crying. I mean, usually for me what happens is that first I'm like doing completely fine. And then like. Something gets said and then I just lose it. Like, I'm not like somebody who, like, slowly starts crying. It's like, I seem fine, and then I'm like bawling my eyes out and there's like, no in between. I feel like I'm usually pretty good about not crying under pressure. Honestly, practice. Like literally from practice. But I don't think you need to not, like, stop yourself from crying. I don't think that you need to hold back. Crying is human, OK? Personally, I love when people feel comfortable enough to cry in front of me. I never get uncomfortable. It never makes me feel weird. If somebody's going through something and they start crying in front of me, I'm not happy that they're crying because obviously that's sad. And I don't want anybody to be crying cause that ******* blows. But I like knowing that somebody can release that feeling around me and feel safe to do so. I don't want people to hold back their emotions around me. Like I like when people fully are up front and like let go and around me because because I'm so sensitive. In a sense, that is something I can connect with, and that's something that, like I can see for what it is. Like I I see if somebody's just acting weird and being rude because they're upset about something and they're not telling me what's wrong. That upsets me. Somebody can sit down and start crying. And be like, Emma, this is what's going on. I would love advice. Or I just wanna vent. Like, what do you, you know, thoughts or whatever. I'm, I'm. I love that because I love. That they feel comfortable. Sorry, just like threw up in my mouth a little bit and now it's burning my throat and I keep swallowing to try to get the acid out of my throat. So. Anyway, it hurts. So what happens when you drink coffee on an empty stomach? Anyway, I don't think you need to hold back. I think you should just let it. Let it out. If you need to cry, you cry. Crying releases. Crying is not pointless, OK? Crying isn't just like our body's way of just, like, being dramatic. It's like crying literally releases something. I think crying releases endorphins. Give me a moment while I Google this. OK. Would you look at that? I just googled it and it says crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain. Once the endorphins are released, your body may go into a numb stage. Totally true. I'm actually going to read some of the benefits of crying because. I feel like people forget how important crying is and that you shouldn't ever not allow yourself to cry. It detoxifies the body. It helps self soothe yourself. It dulls pain. It improves your mood. It rallies support, I guess. Like it, you know, makes people come to you and help support you. Helps you recover from grief. It restores emotional balance, helps a baby breathe. OK, well, we're not babies. I don't think babies are listening to this podcast. Moral story is crying is good, let it loose. OK. Next is thoughts on how people invalidate being sensitive, saying stuff like you don't need to cry over that, it's not a big deal, etcetera. As if we have any choice over what we get upset about. Amazing point. If there's anybody in your life that's. Invalidating. Any emotion that you have. They're not a good person if it's like your family. I feel like family dynamics are different because like, you know, I feel like we're a little bit less sensitive with our family members sometimes. Especially I've noticed that with siblings, I don't have siblings, but I've seen other siblings, like, be really insensitive with one another, and I don't think that that is that. Let's exclude that, because I feel like family is a different situation because there's like this element of, like, comfortable Ness and, like, it's just different. And I don't really understand siblings, so I don't want to touch on, like, family invalidation, OK? But like, when it comes to a friendship, if somebody's constantly invalidating your feelings, there are so many bad things about that I've had, actually. Oh my God. I have a specific Yep, I had a friend in my life that constantly did this a long time ago. Like long time ago. Like I'm talking years. And, like, it made me really insecure and, like, feel really bad about myself. And it was really, really toxic. And I'm so glad that they're not in my life anymore because the friends that I have now are like. So ******* cool about. In my family as well, about, like, making me feel heard and making my emotions, like, like, you know, validating my emotions and like that makes you feel so much better about yourself. When somebody's invalidating, like you crying, that's like the worst thing you could do to somebody. And if you do that, you work on that because that's not a good friend thing to do. If somebody's doing that to you in your life, distance yourself from that person or just don't open up to them as much because you don't need that. I would cut them off, but that's I tend to just kind of be. Harsh about things and I'm like, cut him off. Because I don't like to waste my time. You have one ******* life. You have one life. Why the **** would I be around people that are ******? I don't waste a damn minute. If somebody sucks, I'm not wasting another minute. If they've just proved time and time again to be an ******* I am over it. I don't waste anymore time. And that might make me seem impulsive, but I've never regretted it. Sorry, that was passionate. I don't know what got into me. Somebody asked how to not cry when somebody raises their voice at you. This actually took me a really long time to learn because I used to totally cry every time somebody would raise their voice at me and like, I mean up until I was probably like. 13 maybe. But I think that I. Ended up figuring out subconsciously that, like, yelling is just it's just a different tone of voice. OK, like, I know that that's obvious, but like. If somebody's yelling at you. You just need to take a deep breath, listen to what they're saying, and don't let the words stab you in the heart. Like, I used to let every word every person said stab me in the heart, but you have to sit back at an arm distance, length and like, *******. Not literally, but like metaphorically. Like, you know, kind of separate yourself from what they're saying for a second. Don't be insensitive, but kind of shut down your sense, try to shut down your sensitive walls for a second and try to just be numb. About it while they're screaming at you, that's what I do, and then I absorb what they say and then I respond to them in a very relaxed tone. I never yell back, rarely unless it's to my mom. She's the only one I yell at, and she yells at me. It's beautiful what we have. But it's like cause she's my ******* mom, like whatever. But I never yell at anybody back. I just talk in a very I make them feel a little bit stupid for screaming at me by being very level headed. And then usually the screaming stops and then everything's fine. It's like you just have to get through that initial yelling. And then you're good. So just try to be as level headed as possible, or at least come off as level headed as you can. Somebody said when I'm on my period, I cry about everything. Does the same thing happen to you? Of course I'll catch myself crying about, like, really **** ****. And then. I will go pee and then I'm like, oh. Got it. Got it. Although I've had my period for two weeks this month, sorry. To all the boys that are listening, but I've literally had my period for two weeks. It will not go away, at least I know. I mean, it's better than being pregnant, but it's still taking a toll on me. I've been very tired. Somebody said what's your favorite thing to do when you're feeling overwhelmed by your emotions? This is actually a good question. I don't think I touched on this at all. I mean a little bit. But if I'm feeling like very emotional and just kind of unstable, I will do one of two things #1 isolate myself a little bit, go home, be by myself. Umm. Listen to some music. Sing it out. That helps a lot. Just kind of listening to music that makes you feel good. Like, for me, my feel good music. How? My ******* tailbone. How? OK, sorry, I'm like I've been sitting on the hardwood floor for 15 minutes, so my tailbone is killing me now I'm laying on the ground and that also kind of hurts, but whatever. Some of my feel good music when I'm, like, kind of emotional number one. I mean, obviously, like all of my monthly playlists that I make on Spotify. I need to update them, though, because I haven't updated them in a while, but I make a pot or I make a. Playlist every month. And I'll listen to one of those playlists I also like listening to. Paul McCartney and Wings cannot explain it. That's Paul McCartney's band that he made after The Beatles. His songs with that band. Put me in a good mood. I cannot explain it. I was talking about my dad the other day. It's a conspiracy. Like, I'll read the song titles to you so you can listen to them because there's something about them that just literally turned my mood around. Like, I can't explain it, but they're just so uplifting and I've been listening to them since I was really young. I remember it was like the first song I memorized all the lyrics to was banned on the run by wings. Umm. OK, if you're in a bad mood, you need to listen to. Ohh you can also The Smiths is also a good song or a good brand to listen to you because they have just such uplifting songs. Umm. Actually, just go listen to my ******* oldies playlist on Spotify anyway. Band on the run. Listen to what the man said in silly love songs by wings. Those songs will turn your mood around. They will ******* change your your view. So anyways, sing to those songs and dance around and enjoy yourself. Or if you have somebody that you really love and trust that you don't have to put like emotional effort into having a relationship with them, like maybe it's a parent, maybe it's like your best friend. Call them and talk it out. That helps a lot. Window. Last question I'm gonna answer. When's the time being sensitive helped you? I think it's helped me be a better friend a lot of times. And I think it's made me a better listener and a better advice giver. Which is going to be really nice when I, like, have children one day if I have kids because I'm gonna be able to give them advice because they feel like I've been overanalyzing everything my whole life and it's made me better at giving advice. That is the. Probably the one pro of it all is that I can, in my opinion, give decent advice. And I don't know if I'm Tooting my own horn and maybe I'm just talking **** over here, But yeah, now let's talk about how. Us sensitive people. Can. Work on it. What I'm going to do is my homework assignment for myself is that. I'm not going to take my past kind of trauma and upset from friendships and relationships into my new friendships and relationships. I'm not going to assume. That what somebody else did to me is what somebody else is going to do to me. Does that make sense? Like, I'm not going to bring that energy into my new friendships and relationships moving forward because. Everybody is different and you just never know. You just have no idea and it's not fair to the new people that you meet. To be putting that label, in a sense, on them or like, not label, but like, to be putting that judgment on new people when you have no idea what they're like. I wouldn't want somebody else to be like if somebody, let's say, somebody was going to be, like, wanted to be friends with me, like we were starting a friendship, but then they kind of stopped talking to me a little bit. Or maybe they just stopped talking to me all together and I was like, what the ****? And then the reason why was because they were too traumatized by their past friendships and they just didn't want to make a new friend. I would be really sad because I'd be like I would have proved them wrong, you know what I mean? So let people prove me. I'm gonna let people prove me wrong. And if they don't put me wrong then. ****. So that's my homework assignment. You guys give yourself a little homework assignment in any way. It doesn't even need to relate to this podcast. Just try to do make a goal for yourself like that. I think that's really important. And yeah, that's enough on being sensitive. I have no idea if any of that made sense. I cannot wait to listen to this back and be like. Emma, you're so you're such a mess. You're such a mess right now. You are a ******* mess. But I'm not gonna lie. Being locked inside for the past month and 1/2 or whatever has kind of made me a little bit crazy. Like I'm kind of losing my marbles and. I'm overthinking things a lot more than normal and my mind is like analyzing things a lot harder than normal because I have nothing better to do and I think my brain tends to like go there when I have nothing better to do. So like I've my brain's been a little bit messed up recently, like it's been a little bit crazy recently. Like you can ask my friends and my mom. I'm like, overthinking everything and crazy. Like overthinking the most random ****. Like even my friend some actually. I had this conversation with my friend Olivia today like or yesterday like she didn't respond to my text like she. So yesterday I was like I texted her, she didn't respond for like 4 hours and I was like that is so unlike Olivia. Like is she OK? Started to think she was dead or she was ****** at me for some reason and it like freaked me out. I almost like send myself into a ******* panic attack over it and I was like. And then she texted me back, and I was like, I just fully freaked out that you didn't respond to me. Like, I don't know why. And she was like, dude, the other day you didn't respond to me in the morning, and I did the same thing. She was like, I freaked out. I thought you were mad at me and I was like, why are we doing this? Like, me and Olivia, like, and my friend Amanda, too. Like, we all don't get weird about **** like that. Like, it's never like that. But because we're locked inside and we have so much time on our hands to let our minds roam, we're getting all weird and paranoid about stuff, like, in ways we never do because. We're just we have nothing. Our brains have nothing else to do. Our brains are so not stimulated that we're, like almost creating issues that aren't there to entertain our own brain. That's what I think. Bizarre, anyway. That's enough of me talking. I think we're all sick of me talking. I'm not gonna talk for the rest of the day. I never wanna hear my voice again. I love you all. I hope you're all keeping it real. And I can't wait to talk to you guys again next week. Don't forget to tweet questions to me at AG podcast on Twitter. Uh, you can also request topics that you want me to talk about. I'm kind of running out. Not really, but it's like because I'm not doing anything. In the real world, because we're locked at home like I'm not. I don't have any funny stories. So. Yeah, I'm gonna go play some Fortnite and. Maybe go, like start an argument with my mom because I'm bored, so **** yeah, it's about it. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to anything goes on. Apple Podcast, Spotify, wherever else you get your podcast. And that's all she wrote. I love you all have the best day. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Part Nissan. Recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3 Virginia State inspections and multipoint inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and every purchase or service. Burns Heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing offering all those benefits, it can really save people a lot of headaches and of course money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now, can 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. Hartnissan.com right, you got it. Hartnissan.com or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head and trust your heart maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC dealer for full details.