Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

dealing with difficult people

dealing with difficult people

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 08:01

we deal with difficult people every day...sometimes it's our family members, sometimes it's our friends, sometimes it's people at work or on the matter where you experience difficult people the most, you're definitely experiencing them. today i want to talk about how i deal with difficult people, how i prevent them from ruining my day and how i've gotten to a place where i feel kind of invincible when it comes to dealing with people, in general...i've gotten to a place where what other people do or say doesn't affect me very deeply anymore. i want to talk about it, because i think it's a really incredible skill to have and it saves you from a lot of pain and grief in life. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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Bramble. Taylor Russell and Timothy Shalamay star in the dark coming of age romance bones and all, now playing in movie theaters. It's a story of first love between a young couple learning how to survive on the margins of society, searching for identity and chasing beauty in a dangerous world that cannot accept who they are. I've actually seen the movie I saw it at the Venice Film Festival and it was incredible. The acting was amazing. Taylor Russell is so, so good, so good in this movie. It was shot beautifully. It was eerie and uncomfortable in all of the right ways. I truly was on the edge of my seat for the entire movie. The Hollywood Reporter says romance and horror have never come together as ideally as they do here. From Call Me By Your Name, director Luca Guadagnino, see bones and all now playing only in movie theaters, tickets available now at Taylor Russell and Timothy Shalamay star in the dark coming of age romance bones and all, now playing in movie theaters. It's a story of first love between a young couple learning how to survive on the margins of society, searching for identity and chasing beauty in a dangerous world that cannot accept who they are. I've actually seen the movie I saw it at the Venice Film Festival and it was incredible. Incredible. The acting was amazing. Taylor Russell is so, so good, so good in this movie. It was shot beautifully. It was eerie and uncomfortable in all of the right ways. I truly was on the edge of my seat for the entire movie. The Hollywood Reporter says romance and horror have never come together as ideally as they do here. From Call Me By Your Name, director Luca Guadagnino, see bones and all now playing only in movie theaters, tickets available now at Hello, what's up? How is it going today? Today I wanted to talk about dealing with difficult people. We deal with difficult people every day. Sometimes it's our family members. Sometimes it's our friends. Sometimes it's people at work. Sometimes it's people at school. Sometimes it's people at the grocery store. Sometimes it's people on the internet. Actually, it's people on the internet often. There are a lot of difficult people on the internet. That is for sure. But no matter where you experience difficult people the most, you're definitely experiencing them. Today I wanted to talk about how I deal with difficult people, how I prevent letting them ruin my day, I guess, and how I've gotten to a place where I feel kind of, what's the word? I feel kind of invincible when it comes to dealing with people in general. Difficult, manipulative, whatever. I've gotten to a place where I feel invincible. And what other people do and what other people say doesn't affect me very much. And it doesn't affect me very deeply. I think it's a really incredible skill to have. And I think that it saves you from a lot of pain and grief in a lot of ways. Because when I was growing up, I was very sensitive. And I am still very sensitive. I used to take everybody's words straight to my heart, like straight to my soul. When somebody would criticize me or treat me badly or pick on me or give me a hard time, it would upset me on a deep level. And it would stick around in my head for days or even weeks. I was very vulnerable, you know, emotionally. So people's words could go straight into my head. I had no protective barrier between myself and other people's words and behaviors. But over the years, I've started to build a barrier between myself and people's words. Now obviously this barrier is not real. I'm not saying like I created a spiritual aura around myself that protects me. So when people say mean things to me, it just bounces off and I literally feel nothing. No, I have created my own barrier in my psyche, in my brain, that protects me from other people's words and actions and opinions. So now when people say things to me that are maybe challenging to hear because they're either a form of criticism or their mean or judgmental or opinionated, whatever, it doesn't penetrate straight into my brain like it used to. I've almost created a holding area for other people's words and actions and behaviors. So before I let them take over my brain, they have to sit in this holding area first in my brain where I analyze them before I decide whether or not I'm going to ingest them fully. Does that make sense? Maybe it'll make more sense throughout the episode. I don't know, but this sort of process that I've taught myself over the years has helped me immensely with dealing with difficult people. And you know, there's a few other things that have helped me deal with difficult people, but this is the main mechanism that we're going to be discussing today. But before we go any further, let's discuss what a difficult person is. In my opinion, a difficult person can look many different ways. A difficult person could be somebody who is just very stubborn with their opinions and their beliefs. An example would be your aunt or your uncle or your cousin or something who is always starting a fight during the holidays because they have one belief about something. Let's say they believe that all of the kids in the family should be going to college. No questions asked. Every kid in the family should be going to college. And so every holiday, this family member comes in and says, so are all of you guys in college to all the kids in the family? And maybe one kid says, I'm not going to college. I'm taking a year off to travel. I don't know. And this family member is like, no, you are making a big mistake. And here's why. And then they lean in and they start fighting with, you know, they start. You see what I'm saying? Somebody who's stubborn and obsessed with getting their point across and stuck in their opinion and can't see outside of it. That's a difficult person. Difficult people can also just be argumentative. Like they just want to argue for fun. An example of this would be, let's say your significant other is constantly trying to pick a fight with you, even though you're not doing anything really wrong. Like you go to the grocery store and you're there for like three hours because there was a lot of traffic. And like the line was really long. It's like 5 p.m. everyone's grocery shopping right now. It takes forever. You get home and your significant others like, so where the fuck were you? It's never taken me that long to grocery shop. I've been waiting for you for three fucking hours. And you're like, well, listen, I'm sorry. Like I know it took a long time, but there was a really long line and there's a lot of traffic. And your significant others like, then why did you go to that fucking grocery store? Because now I'm wondering where you even were this whole time. You're not at the fucking grocery store? I don't know. Like I don't trust you, Jeff. I don't trust you. Okay, you see what I'm saying? Also, who's Jeff? I don't know. I don't even know anyone named Jeff. Actually, yes, I do. I don't know why I said. It's just not true. I know at least five people named Jeff. But you get what I'm saying. Somebody who's argumentative, difficult person. Somebody who's a bully. You know, maybe one of your friends in your friend group that you're like, kind of iffy with. You're not super close to them, but they're in your friend group. So technically, your friends. And they're always giving you a hard time. They're always kind of bullying you. Like, you guys are all getting ready for a night to go out. And this one friend who's a bully is like, girl, what is that fucking outfit? No, what's that outfit? No, you are not like, we're not going out with you if you look like that tonight. And like, they're kind of kidding, but they're also just bullying you. Okay, that's a difficult person. And then you also have somebody who has just like a shitty attitude. We're talking about the people who you don't even know them necessarily. But they just have a shitty attitude, a shitty energy. For example, you're at the grocery store. You're walking through the aisles aimlessly with your shopping cart. And you accidentally bump into somebody else's shopping cart. Very lightly. Nobody got hurt. Nobody even remotely got hurt. Everyone's fine. It was just a slight bump on the shopping cart. And the person whose shopping cart got bumped into is just pissed. Even though it's not a big deal, what, bumping into somebody else's shopping cart, that's not a big deal. Just someone with a shitty attitude and a shitty energy. And whether or not them being in a shitty mood is valid or not, like we don't know what they're going through, it's still unfortunate to be around. And that makes them difficult. So this is what I consider to be a difficult person. Now let's go back to what I was talking about a few minutes ago. Creating this sort of mental barrier between you and difficult people. I think of it as being protected by like a protective cloud around you. Okay. This is how I visualize it. It's like imagine yourself surrounded by a protective aura, protective cloud. And so anytime somebody says something to you, does something to you, whatever. Before you internalize anything that they're doing or saying, you keep it outside of your mind and body first. Like you put it in like a holding place first. And this applies to positive and negative things, by the way. But I think it's just more relevant with negative things than positive things. It's more important, I would say, with negative things and positive things. So the process goes something like this. Okay. Someone says something to you that is not very nice. Maybe they say, I feel like you really, really need a haircut. Like your hair just, I don't know, the hairstyle is not working for you. Or someone says, Oh, like I saw your, your significant other, like talking to that person over there. And they're like really getting along really well. It's weird. Or someone says, Don't you feel like you need to get a new job? Like I feel like your job now. Like I just don't feel like it's a good look for you. You know? I feel like you should get another job. Or someone says, Have you ever thought about going to college for a few more years? Those last two are mainly applying to family members, being judgmental and stuff. But I don't think like your friend would say that to you. I think that's more of like your grandma or your parents or something. But anyway, you get the point. When somebody says something to you that is upsetting, that's challenging, that's unnecessary, that's difficult. Instead of immediately taking that to heart, and taking what they say as fact, you hold it outside of yourself in this protective cloud that's outside of your body. In mind, okay. And before you decide what you want to do with it, you analyze it. You analyze who said it. You analyze why they may have said it. You analyze whether or not they're saying that because they're insecure about something themselves. And they're projecting some sort of insecurity onto you. You analyze whether or not they have your best interest at heart. Do they really care about you? And is that why they're maybe criticizing you or saying something that's difficult to hear or they're giving you attitude? Like, is there a reason for that that's rooted in your best interest or not? Analyze that. Analyze what they may be going through on a personal level. Do you know what they're going through right now? Do you know anything about their life right now? Because without that context, it can be really hard to distinguish the root cause of their difficult behavior. Before you internalize things, you should be analyzing first. When I was younger, I didn't do that. I just let everything in to my brain. Somebody would say something or do something straight to my brain. Now, someone says or does something to me. I hold it in this sort of purgatory of sorts. I analyze it and I decide whether or not I'm going to internalize it. Or if I'm just going to let it go and throw it away. I think the using the word purgatory explains this sort of concept really well. Because purgatory in religion is, I'll read the definition. Purgatory in the Roman Catholic religion is a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven. Now listen, I know you're probably like Emma, that does not relate to you putting a protective cloud around yourself, protecting you from people saying mean shit. But no, hear me out. The idea of purgatory is that sinners before they go to heaven have to sit in this purgatory and show themselves for who they truly are. They have to admit their their sins. They have to apologize for their sins. They have to put everything out on the table before they can go to heaven. Okay. Now, with you in this sort of metaphor, your heaven and this sort of protective cloud around you is purgatory. People's words and behaviors are the sinners. Does that make sense? Oh my god, am I losing it? Like, this is how I think of it in my brain. And I think it's really a powerful sort of visual to have in your head. Because it allows you to analyze people's words and behaviors and put them into this purgatory of sorts before you internalize everything. And like, I think having that visual in your head allows you to more easily integrate this tactic into your life. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, let's move on from the metaphor because that kind of that kind of made me start to lose my marbles. So, um, the problem is there are so many potential factors that could be causing someone to be difficult. It could be that they lack some social awareness and they're not aware that they're being difficult. You know, they don't even realize it. It could be that they're going through something on a personal level. It could be that they have ulterior motives. It could be that they care about your well-being and they don't know how to express that. So they might do it in a way that comes off as difficult. There's so many reasons why somebody could be being difficult. And because of that, it's unfair to yourself to just immediately ingest that and internalize that. It's not fair to you. And that's why you have to analyze these things. And then decide whether or not they're worth taking seriously. Nothing should ever be taken at face value. That's a dangerous thing I would argue. Taking what everyone says at face value. Because there's always things that are below the surface. You know, what someone says out loud is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot below the surface that could be influencing someone's behavior that has nothing to do with you. And if you forget that, then you may find yourself feeling very overwhelmed with the opinions and actions of others. So the main way I deal with difficult people is just this. And I think it's a really powerful thing. But there are more ways that I deal with difficult people. And so let's talk about that now. Now that I've gotten that difficult one to explain out of the way, we can now talk about easier things to articulate for me. Because that was challenging for me for some reason. And my brain hurts. This episode is sponsored by Elfster. I love Secret Santa. Secret Santa is so fun. A group of people get together and then everyone pulls a name and has to buy a gift for that person. It's so fun. I love it. I love Secret Santa. I've always loved Secret Santa. I think it's possibly the most fun way to give gifts. Elfster is the number one free Secret Santa website in app. It's a holiday gifting game changer that makes it easy to hold a fun gift exchange with family and friends. Plus you can exchange gifts virtually if you have friends and family who live far away. Sometimes the most annoying part of a gift exchange is the setup. Picking out a gift for Secret Santa or for literally any gift giving in general is challenging. But that's not the case here. Elfster does all the work for you. Once you set the date, gift budget, and RSVP, you're done with the setup, then the fun part. You pick whatever you want from your favorite brands and add it to your wish list. And then whoever drew your name can see what's on your list. I personally love that aspect because it takes a lot of the stress out of Secret Santa. Set up your free Secret Santa gift exchange today. Go to slash podcast today. That's E-L-F-S-T-E-R dot com slash podcast. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Creating a website is a great idea, period, because if you're a new business owner or you're trying to share your work for professional purposes or you just want to place to vent your thoughts for the world to see, you can do all those things and more with the website. More specifically, a Squarespace website because they have all the tools you need to build a site that really reflects you and helps you achieve your goals. And I want to focus on all the templates they have, which you should really just see for yourself on their site, since it's hard for me to really do them justice over audio, but they have specific award-winning templates for every category, from art and design to restaurants to fitness to travel and more. That way in a crowded online world where it's hard to stand out, you can make your site as unique as you are. With customizable elements like email campaigns and beautiful galleries and member areas, you can further shape your site to be whatever you want it to be. Check out slash Emma for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Emma to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Another way I deal with difficult people is I remain calm, no matter what, no matter if I'm being attacked, no matter if someone is saying something completely out of line, with every ounce of strength I have, I try to remain calm. Now, are we going to be able to remain calm all the time? No, there are going to be times when we just can't. And that's fine, you know? But as much as I possibly can, I try to remain calm. The reason why I do that is that communication only works when it's done rationally and politely. When someone is yelling at you, you immediately want to rebel against them. Even if what they're saying is true, it's so hard to acknowledge somebody's thought or opinion or belief if they're screaming at you. Whereas if they're coming to you with a rational, cool, calm and collected tone, you're like, yeah, I'm going to give you a chance. I'm going to listen to what you're saying because you're approaching me in a rational way. And I trust that. So I'm going to listen, even when someone's yelling at me or being aggressive with me or being rude to me, whatever. I don't stoop to that level or at least I try not to. I try to remain at a rational polite level because number one, that's being the bigger person. Number two, that gives them the chance to potentially rise to the occasion and stop yelling and stop being aggressive and argumentative, and irrational and difficult. It gives them the chance to rise up to your level and start communicating in a way that's less difficult. It gives them the chance to learn something. If someone starts yelling at you and then you start yelling back, now you've just stooped down to their level. Nobody wins. If somebody starts yelling at you and you are responding in a way that is respectful and calm and open-minded, even if the other person never rises to the occasion, you remain the bigger person. And that's a really good place to be. But if all things go as planned, they will rise to the occasion. And now you both win. Another thing that I do with difficult people is try to remind myself that it's okay to agree to disagree. This is a lost art in my opinion. I don't know why. I don't know why. There are a lot of scenarios in life where it's okay to agree to disagree. There are some areas where maybe that isn't the right solution. But I would argue that without the ability on a personal level to agree to disagree with others, you might end up very isolated. Because the truth is that everybody has a different set of morals, values, ideas, opinions. And everybody's on their own journey of discovering what theirs are. And everybody's working at a different pace here. We're not all in agreement about everything. With almost every person I know, I disagree with them about something. With almost everyone I know, we disagree on at least one thing. And with some people, it's things that are much larger. Maybe it's a religious belief. Maybe it's a moral belief. I don't know. There are some people I have really, really disagree with on things in a big way. There are people that I disagree with on a lot of small little things, inconsequential things. Like what types of food taste good and what way I like to take my coffee. You know? Like I disagree with so many people on things small and huge. But it's important to me that I don't immediately write someone off just because we disagree on something. There may be times where you disagree with somebody about something. And it becomes an issue that maybe ends said relationship. You know, there might be times when that happens and when that makes sense to happen. But I challenge all of us to really try to agree to disagree with people. Before we write them off as being a bad match for us, somebody that we can't spend our time with in life, somebody that we can't respect, we can't love, you know. It's a complicated situation that has a lot of nuance. And I think saying like we all need to learn how to agree to disagree 100% of the time. That's not accurate because there might be times when that doesn't work. But I think a lot of people, and I notice this on the internet a lot, where people cannot agree to disagree on anything, anything, big and small things. And I think sometimes to get through life, you need to know how to do that. An example would be let's say the person used to next to at work who you have to see every day because they are your co-worker. And you know, you need to work in order to support yourself and that is a part of survival, right? Let's say they are one religion. Let's say they're Catholic. And you are Jewish. There are different perspectives in both religions, right? And Jewish people believe one thing about one topic. Catholic people believe another thing about the same topic, you know what I'm saying? And there are areas where those two religions don't agree. Well, let's say in conversation, sometimes your co-worker, who is a different religion than you, brings up a sort of belief that the religion that they follow has in front of you. And you vehemently disagree because you have grown up in this other religion. And you really disagree. You're like, no. Like, I go to church every Sunday and I know and I believe with every bone in my body that this is not true. You have two options. You can attack your co-worker and cause drama in the workplace by starting to debate this person on their belief because you don't agree. Or you could wait a second and say, hey, my co-worker believing that this is true, that this is fact, right? Is due to the fact that they've been a part of this religious group their entire life. And they have been told this and taught this their entire life, just like how I have been told and taught. A different perspective my entire life. Are they a bad person because they don't have the same opinion as me, not necessarily. Am I any different from them because I've been taught this other perspective my whole life, just like they've been taught this other perspective. And do we know what the truth really is? Not necessarily. So you can look at it from that perspective and say, you know what, I'm just going to keep to myself. And I'm just going to mine my own business. This is what somebody else thinks about this topic. Due to their background in life, I'm just going to leave it be. Or you can say, you know, I actually disagree because blank, but I also respect your perspective as well. You know, like I disagree, but I still respect your perspective and I'm not asking you to change your perspective, right? It's okay to agree to disagree. And maybe in some scenarios, you might disagree with somebody about something. And so you say, hey, have you ever looked at it like this? Because this is sort of my belief. And here's why I believe it. And this is sort of my opinion. This is my perspective. And you share that with somebody else because you want to share something with them that could open their mind to a new possibility. But maybe they say, I don't know. I'm sticking with my guns here. Like I still believe what I believe it's okay to end a conversation there and say, you know what we're agreeing to disagree on this. I know a lot of people that get really freaked out and fucking upset when they talk to someone else about something. And at the end of the conversation, they're still in a disagreement. A lot of people look at that conversation as a failure. If they weren't able to convert everyone else to what they believe, then that conversation was a failure. No, that's not true. That's an expectation that will leave you disappointed quite often. Just because somebody doesn't agree with you or somebody has a different opinion as you about something doesn't mean that your opinion is bad. Necessarily. Doesn't mean that your opinion is wrong. I think a lot of people take it personally when people don't agree with their opinion. It makes them feel insecure. And that's honestly why I think a lot of people struggle with agreeing to disagree. Because they feel attacked when somebody doesn't agree with them. It makes them feel weird. They're like, wait, what? But the truth is, is that two people can be right in their own way and disagree. Are there times when you're going to disagree with somebody because they're doing something morally incorrect. They're believing in something morally incorrect. Absolutely. And with people like that, you know, I would still argue that trying to force them to believe what you think is right. And to believe what you believe is still not necessarily the right response. You can share your opinion and try to enlighten them and help them understand why maybe what they believe is morally incorrect or why you don't believe in it. If they're not budging, then you need to walk away. You need to leave it be. And you need to accept the fact that you might need to agree to disagree with them because they might figure it out at some point. You gotta just let it be, you know. And maybe that just means, okay, you know what? We can't have conversations about this topic because they're not, they're too far away from me. Like, we're not on the same page at all. And like, I don't know, and this is a deal breaker for me. This opinion is a deal breaker for me. So, I'm going to decide right now that I'm not going to talk to them about this topic anymore. And I'm going to just accept them for who they are and hope that at some point they figure it out. But I'm just going to leave them be in mind my own business because the truth is it only causes more harm to try to force other people to agree with you. Even if they're fucking wrong, even if they're wrong, at a certain point, you just have to let it go. You just have to let it go. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Yes, a user manual would be nice to have every time you feel stuck in life, but that's not realistic. And it's important for us to navigate through challenges in your career, in your dating life, in your social life, wherever. One of the best ways to learn how to navigate are over complicated lives is therapy. 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No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at slash anything. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash anything. This episode of Anything Goes Is Sponsored by Raketin. It's that time of the year again when we need to start buying gifts for the holidays. Raketin is something we all get to enjoy this holiday season. No matter what gifts are on your shopping list, and no matter who you're buying them for, Raketin will allow you to earn cash back. It's that easy. And Raketin seriously covers everything from a lot of really recognizable stores that we love. Like Macy's, Adidas, Carhart. So if you need to buy clothes for your parents, or toys and games for your younger family members, or home essentials for yourself, Raketin is the smartest and most rewarding way to shop and save on the things that you love. Listen, I love online shopping. And there's nothing more rewarding than getting a little cash back. I don't know one person on this planet who doesn't want to earn a little cash back when they're shopping online. You'll earn cash back for everything on your list and join 15 million members who are already saving at over 3,500 stores. Membership is free and it's easy to sign up. And there's no work needed on your part to get the cash back. They'll deposit it directly into your PayPal account, or they can send you a check. Again, if you're already going to shop for these things, getting a nice little check from Raketin as a reward is a no-brainer. Visit or download the app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. That's Sign up and you can start saving today. And I know in family situations this can be very interesting because sometimes there are people in your family that disagree with you on larger topics. And the thing about family is that you have to be around your family. Like with people at work or your friends or your significant other, blah blah. Those people are much more interchangeable. You know, you can sort of replace those people. Not to be like an asshole, but you know, you don't have to stay with them. You don't have any tie with them other than a verbal and emotional tie. Whereas with your family, your blood related. You know, and you see them every year during the holidays and you can't just throw them out the window. So this especially applies with family members. When you disagree with a family member, it can be really challenging because you still have to be around them. You can't just say, all right, I don't care. Fuck you. I'm out. I'm never talking to you again. You can do that, but it's a lot more challenging. And in some situations, you may have to learn how to agree to disagree with them. Because that's the only way that you can continue to enjoy time with your family. And I do believe that in a lot of scenarios, there is a way that you can coexist with people that have pretty different opinions than you. There are ways that you can coexist. And I think the greatest way to do that is to acknowledge that you don't agree on a topic. And then not talk about that topic with that person. It's okay to do that, you know, like, it's okay to say, you know what? I can't talk about this topic with this person because it causes issues between us. And we've already acknowledged that we're just, we're never going to be on the same page about this. So we just need to not talk about it. You know, I have family members where we disagree on certain things. I just don't talk about it with them. And we're fine. We know that that's an area that's tender and we just don't talk about it. You know, and I know I have that even with friends where we maybe don't see eye to eye on certain things. And so it's like, you know what? We're just not going to talk about that. But we still love each other. We still care about each other. We still respect each other's opinions. But we just know that we don't go there with each other because it's just, it's just, we don't see eye to eye. That's okay. Or if we do talk about it, we acknowledge that, you know, we might not agree with one another, but we're willing to hear each other out. This is all, I would say healthy stuff. And important. So my next tip, I'm dealing with difficult people is to know when it's time to stop a conversation. If you're in the middle of a difficult conversation and you're like, this is not going anywhere. We're not seeing eye to eye. This person is maybe arguing with me. Or projecting some sort of internal anger discomfort onto me. And it's obvious that it's not rational or necessary or reasonable or warranted. You know, like it's, it's just coming out of left field. It's like, what the fuck is going on? Why is this person like being difficult with me? You know, no one is time to stop the conversation and just kind of walk away. You know, there's no reason to feed into an interaction that is difficult just for no reason. Be conscious of the usefulness of the conversation. Are we getting anywhere? Is this useful? And if it's not, walk away. Change the subject. Put a stop to it because you can. Another thing I do is sometimes when I'm dealing with difficult people, I'll add some humanity back into the conversation because I think that sometimes people can kind of get on their high horse. And forget in a way that you're a human. For example, when somebody's sort of picking on you or trying to shove their opinions down your throat in a way or trying to argue with you just for the sake of arguing, right? A lot of times when those things are happening, it's rooted in some sort of insecurity or pain or something. And like sometimes people can almost get into a trance and start doing this shit without even really realizing what they're doing, right? But if you add some humanity back into the conversation, you're like, hey, dude. Like, what the hell's going on? You're hurting my feelings. Like, why are you talking to me like this? Or you could be like, if you're scared of confronting that upfront, you know, you can say something like, Ouch, dude, Ouch, lighten up on me a little bit, add some humanity back into the conversation by somehow and whatever way you feel necessary. Letting the other person know that they're not being pleasant to interact with. The way that they're communicating with you is not working. The way that they're interacting with you is not working. It's not feeling good. I think sometimes people forget sometimes when they're being difficult, they can forget and they can forget how that might be making you feel. But if you can remind them, that might shake them up a little bit and then they're like, oh shit, okay, I need to like pull back a little bit here because I kind of forgot that the person I'm talking to has feelings and is a human being and is another human being. So let me step back for a second and be a little bit more reasonable because now that I think about it, I was being a little bit unreasonable. You know, sometimes you just need to shock somebody back into reality by adding some humanity back into the conversation. When somebody's like picking on me or something, I might be like, okay, chill a little bit, you know, I mean, I'll let them know and I'm sometimes subtle about it, but I'll let them know. And sometimes it can snap them out of it and it might even teach them something too because if you make them aware of the fact that they're being difficult in the moment and you sort of catch them in the act, there's a good chance that that's going to be a wake up call for them in some way. Because normally people don't do that. They don't confront in the middle of a difficult situation. They'll either rise to the occasion, be the better person and not give them the time of day or they'll stoop to their level and just start fighting back and they'll become difficult as well. You see what I'm saying? So it's not super common for somebody to not only be the bigger person and remain calm, but to also kin front. There's a lot of benefit to that. It's not always possible. It's not always what ends up happening, but it's a great option and it can it can really be a powerful thing. And the last thing I do when I'm dealing with someone who's difficult is I'll ask myself, wait a minute, am I being difficult? Is this person being difficult with me because I was actually being difficult with them first? Wait a minute, am I the problem? It's easy to go and look at everyone else and say, why are they being difficult? What's wrong with them? What's wrong with you? There might be something wrong with you. There have been moments, especially with my parents, because I'm so close with my parents. And I can be difficult with them. We're all difficult with our parents. So you know what I'm saying. But I can be difficult with them. Have a shitty attitude with them. Be grumpy, be in a bad mood, be pissed off and be taking it out on them. And then they start being difficult with me. And I'm like, why are you being difficult with me? And then they're like, you're being difficult with me. And then I'm like, oh, true. You know, but I didn't even realize it. I just noticed when they started being difficult with me, I wasn't aware when I was just being difficult in the first place. And so I think it is important to ask yourself when someone's being difficult with you. If you are also being difficult, are you being stubborn about something? Are you being close-minded about something? Are you being forceful with other people? Making them listen to you, making them agree with you, trying to make them agree with you? Are you being argumentative? Are you being a little bit of a bully? Are you picking on someone? Do you have a shitty energy or attitude? Are you doing those things? Because when you do those things, that might cause somebody else to then do those things. In reaction to you doing them in the first place. So be aware of your own behavior. And don't think that you aren't capable of being difficult yourself because we all are. I'm difficult sometimes. My best friends, my family, my closest relationships in my life, everybody can be difficult sometimes. It's just important to be aware that it might be you sometimes too. We talked about everyone else being difficult. What about when you're being difficult? Anyway, you guys. That's how I deal with difficult people. Okay. That's how I do it. Let me know what you think. Let me know if you have any different sort of mechanisms when it comes to dealing with difficult people. Tell me what you think. As always, you can tweet me at AG Podcast or send me a DM or comment on Instagram at anything goes. And that's all I have for today. Thank you guys for writing it out. I really appreciate it. I had so much fun per always. I love you all so much. You are all the best. And thank you for tuning in every week. And just having fun conversations with me. I really appreciate it. And I enjoy it more than you know. If you want to check out my coffee company, check out and use code AG15 for a little discount. Right now I'm drinking an iced almond milk latte. I just got a newest Bresco machine and I've been seriously banging out crazy lattes. I'm currently using the Chamberlain Coffee Butterfly blend, which is a light roast. It's really good. It's so good. Drinking it in a mason jar. You know the drill. The whole nine yards. Well, I guess I'll talk to you next week. Until then, keeping awesome. Keep being the best. Keeping gorgeous. Etc. Etc. Okay, I love you all. Talk to you soon. Bye.