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Carvana has purchased over a million cars from Happy customers by giving them an offer within minutes, and they can do the same for you. Carvana will give you a real offer for your car within minutes. Then they'll come to pick up your car and pay you on the spot. So to get a real offer on your vehicle in minutes, download the app or visit carvana.com. Hello, last night I had this ambitious goal of waking up at 5:00 AM this morning because I was like. I don't know. I'm in the mood to get up early and really seize the day. Like I'm really in the mood for that. And so I set my alarm for 5:00 AM and clearly it didn't work because I ended up waking up at 8:00 AM. I don't even know how it happened. I don't remember my alarm going off at 5:00 in the morning. Like, I don't remember anything. All I remember is I woke up at 8:00 AM. And that's actually later than when I normally wake up. I normally wake up at 6:00 or 7:00 AM, but today I woke up at 8. So my morning is just. Not going my way, but I'm not gonna let that stop me. I am not going to let that stop me. Any who? Today we're talking about criticism. Because I think that criticism is something that is so important in all of its forms. It's positive and negative forms. And I just want to discuss criticism today because. I experience criticism a lot, possibly more than most people, because anytime you're on the Internet you experience a lot of criticism from a lot of different types of people, and I actually appreciate criticism. I've learned to appreciate it when I was younger and I first started posting things on the Internet. And I started getting an influx of criticism, good and bad. I hated it. I hated it so much. But overtime I've learned to appreciate it. And. Find the silver lining in it. And I've also learned not to take it too personally. I've learned to. Benefit from criticism rather than suffer from criticism, and so I wanted to share today what I think helpful criticism is what I think hurtful criticism is. How I think criticism is best given. How I think criticism is best received and probably some more stuff. Who knows? Who knows? With me? Before we start, let's read the definition of criticism, just in case anybody is a little bit fuzzy on what the exact definition is. Criticism is the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes, or the analysis and judgment of the merits and faults. Of a literary or artistic work. So it's basically. Expressing. Disapproval. Although I feel like disapproval is the wrong word in a way. I mean, I know I'm reading the ******* dictionary right now. I'm like reading the dictionary definition, and I'm like, I don't really feel like that's right, but I feel like disapproval isn't the word I would personally use. I feel like I would phrase it as criticism is. Suggesting. That's something. Is changed. Whether it's about yourself, about. Something that you've worked on, something creative that you've done, the way you've decorated, something like criticism, is just saying to somebody, hey, I would have done this differently. That's kind of the way I think of criticism. Anywho, now that we've gotten that out of the way, what is good criticism? I think that it's any comment that has someone's best interest in mind. When you go to somebody and you say, hey, I would have done this a little bit differently, and you're saying it because you genuinely want them to succeed, you want them to improve, you want them to learn something, and there's no ego involved. There's no evil intent involved, just pure helpfulness. I think good criticism is helpful. And. That's kind of one of the backbones of good criticism is that it's helpful and it's constructive. In the sense that it'll help that person who's receiving the criticism learn something and overall do better. I think good criticism also is rooted in somebody's personal experience. So the person who's giving the criticism, I'm going to say criticism so many times, and we're all going to be annoyed. We're all going to be annoyed. But I don't know, like. How to avoid saying it 50 times in this episode. I'm gonna really try to keep it to a minimum though. Because I know I have an issue with reiterating too much anyway. It's going to be a tough one for us, you guys. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be worth it cause I think it's a good conversation anyway. I think. It can be good when it's rooted in somebody's personal experience and knowledge. So. Somebody is. Coming to somebody else and saying based on my personal experience, this could be done a little bit differently and you could have better results. I think that if you are to be giving criticism, you should have a good amount of personal experience and knowledge on whatever you're giving criticism about because otherwise you're not really in the place to be giving criticism. Do you know what I'm saying? I I think when it comes to. Giving a disapproving opinion whether it's. Positive or negative, you should be certain. About what you're talking about, because it's no light matter to give someone criticism. People take that **** seriously. When I receive criticism, I take it seriously because I really want to learn from it. I want to benefit from it, I want to become better because of it, and if I'm listening to somebody who doesn't know what the **** they're talking about. That's harmful. And so every time you feel, ohh I kind of want to give some constructive criticism on this thing that somebody else is doing, I want to give somebody else constructive criticism. Think to yourself, do I know enough about this to be even speaking on it? Because if not, then you might want to keep it to yourself. Another trait of good criticism is well thought out. That kind of ties into what I just said, but you don't just want to be throwing around criticism. For example, let's say one of your friends painted a painting and they show it to you and they say, what do you think of this? And at first glance you're like, that's just not good. I don't like it and you don't like it, but you look at it for a little longer and you think, well, maybe it's just not my style. Technically it's a well done painting, but it's just not my style. So then, instead of criticizing the painting and saying what you don't like about it just because your gut reaction, your immediate reaction was that you don't like it. Instead of expressing that, you take a second and you think a little longer. And you realize that it's just not your style, but it's actually a really well done painting. So then you're able to respond and say, I think it's really well done instead of saying, well, I don't really like the colors you use because all of the colors that you used were way too bright and I tend to like more muted paintings. That's not useful criticism because that's just based on your own personal bias. Upon thinking about it longer, you realized that's not useful criticism and I'm not going to give it. Instead I'm going to be positive because it actually is a very well done painting and. A lot of other people would really love it. Do you see what I'm saying? Criticism should be thought out before it's put out into the into the universe, before you say it out loud and let it be. Tangible, you know, because it's serious. The person who made that art piece in this theoretical situation might stop using bright colors altogether because of what you said. When in reality, what you said wasn't really useful because it's based on your own personal bias, that's not useful, right? You keeping that criticism to yourself benefits you and the other person because it benefits you, because you thought about what you said before you said it, and you made sure that it was useful criticism that could make that person better. Telling somebody I don't really like your art, it's just. I didn't. I don't really. It's not. It's just not working for me. That doesn't help anybody, that doesn't help the artist, and that doesn't help you. You see what I'm saying? This is just an example. This could apply to so many different things, but you have to think about it before you say it. This takes us back to 3rd grade when your teacher would tell you don't say something unless it's nice, kind and helpful. Nice and kind are the same thing, so I don't know why. They would say that, but regardless, we learned at a young age that unless something is kind and helpful, we just shouldn't say it. And it sounds ridiculous, but I think that as we grow up, we start to forget these fundamental values that we learned as children. And it's ridiculous. I mean, even I have a hard time with this sometimes, not necessarily when it comes to criticism, but in other areas of my life, I find myself forgetting and then remembering fundamental values that I learned. As a child. I have some friends and family members who wear contacts, and honestly, I can't imagine how much of a pain it must be to always have to go to the eye doctor, go in for unnecessary tests. When you know that your prescription hasn't changed. It's so time-consuming and so stressful. I truly can't imagine one 800 contacts has been making people's lives so much easier and delivering contact lenses for 27 years. They make getting contacts super fast and easy. 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OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. The last two qualities of good criticism are #1, the criticism being non forceful and neutral in nature, and it being given in a forgiving tone. I think an issue that is common with criticism is its delivery. When giving someone criticism it, it must be remembered that whoever we are speaking to is another human being who has feelings, who puts love and care into what they do, who's doing their best in life, who makes mistakes and does a ****** job sometimes just like the rest of us. So that must be remembered. You know, I don't know. Especially on the Internet, sometimes I see people receiving criticism in such a harsh and mean tone. And I just don't think that that's helpful because people don't respond well to things that are forceful and things that are mean in nature. They respond to things that are forgiving and things that are neutral. And things that are helpful. For example, when I was younger and I lived with my parents, my mom would sometimes tell me to do the dishes. Actually, a lot of times my mom would tell me to do the dishes all the time, and she's very particular about the way that things are done. She's very meticulous in a good way, but she's just very picky about the way that things are done because she takes pride in everything that she does, whether it's washing the dishes or being on time to everything, you know, like appointments and stuff like that. She takes pride in all of that and so. When she would ask me to do the dishes and I wouldn't do them in the way that she wanted. For example, if she cooked with oil and I didn't use hot enough water, so there was still a little bit of oil residue left on the bowls and cups, whatever, she would let me know. You know she'd be like Emma. You cannot do it like that. And sometimes she would get frustrated with me in a way that a mom does. You know, sometimes moms get frustrated, whatever. And she she would give me criticism about how I was doing the dishes in a way that was not very forgiving or it didn't feel that way in the moment. And so guess what I would do? I would respond terribly and I'd be like, well, I didn't know. And I I just did my best and, you know, whatever. And then next time I went and did the dishes, I didn't listen to her criticism. I was like, **** you, I'm going to do the dishes. The way I want to do the dishes, because you raised your voice at me, you were mean to me, you, whatever. I mean, I obviously was taking it too personally as a young child, but you get what I'm saying. I wouldn't respond well, and I wouldn't take the criticism because I didn't like the way that she gave it to me. Normal mother daughter stuff. But I think that that's a good example of how the delivery of criticism is so important, approaching it in a way that's not forceful and it's neutral and it's forgiving. Allows the other person to feel safe, to be vulnerable and say, you know what? You're right, I did kind of make a mistake or I did kind of do this improperly or I could do this better. Next time, thank you for giving me this criticism. I'm going to take it and I'm going to use it and I appreciate it because something that also needs to be remembered is receiving criticism, is vulnerable when someone comes to you and says. You should have done this differently. That puts the person who's giving the criticism on a slight pedestal, and it takes the person receiving the criticism and takes them down a peg. Do you see what I'm saying? Psychologically, that's the impact that it has, so it should be a priority to try to even out the playing field so that everybody feels comfortable. Nobody's getting an ego boost, nobody's getting an ego death. It's just pure. Criticism. There's no ulterior motive, there's no aggressive tone. There's nothing like that. There's just an equal playing field. OK, now let's discuss what bad criticism is. I think it's bad when it's meant. To hurt someone's feelings like. I see this on the Internet all the time. People just saying **** to get under people's skin. It's not helpful. It's not rooted in knowledge or wisdom. It's not rooted in trying to help somebody be better. It's not rooted in good morality. It's rooted in anger and hatred, in trying to hurt somebody else. And that's where I think the line with criticism gets so blurry, because somebody could give criticism. With the intent of hurting somebody's feelings. But then when somebody else gets their feelings hurt, they say, well, you're just too sensitive because you can't take criticism. That's on you, babe. You're just a sensitive little idiot. That's where the line gets blurry. And that's why I think people use criticism as a verbal weapon in a way, because the line between it being constructive and it being hurtful is so blurred at times. I think bad criticism also can be present when the giver of criticism personally gains. From giving that negative criticism. For example, let's say your friend wants to throw a birthday party and they were like, OK, I'm gonna have it at 9:00 PM. And I'm going to invite 20 people. But in your head you're like, well, I think 9:00 PM's too early. And I also think that she should invite more people because I want to attend a big party because I've been really in the mood to go to a big rager recently. So then you go to your friend in in, criticize her idea of her party plan, and you say. I think that the party should be at 10:00 PM, and I think you should invite 50 people, because a party that starts at 9:00 PM is just bound to be lame, and a party with only twenty people is also just bound to be lame. So now you're giving criticism on how your friend wants to throw their party because you want to personally gain from this party. You want to hang out with a **** ton of people and party and go crazy, and you want it to go late into the night, so you're giving criticism that has a personal agenda. That's also not good. That's not coming from pure intentions. Another example would be you're kind of jealous of your friend because your friend is a really talented musician. And your friend writes a song and sends it over to you and says, what do you think? And you actually think it's really good. You're like, wow, this song's really good, I really like it, but you want your friend to feel discouraged because they're a great musician and that makes you feel a little bit insecure. So you respond and it's just alright. Your personal agenda is showing there because your personal agenda is that you want your friend to feel like **** about their music so that maybe they might even stop doing it. And then you no longer have to feel insecure about their talents. That might even be something that happened to subconsciously. You might give criticism that's negative about somebody's creative endeavor that you're jealous of subconsciously. And not even realize that you're doing it because you kind of don't want to give them that satisfaction. I've never I well, how? I mean, I might have done that at some point in my life. Who knows when I was younger? Listen, when you're young, who knows? I was thinking about that the other day. Like young kids, like in middle school and even high school. It's so crazy how much gets learned during those years because. I feel like the years of middle school and high school are just the years of making constant mistakes and being corrected and receiving a lot of criticism. Like when I was growing up, I received criticism constantly. Teachers, friends, my parents, everybody. I feel like I was constantly receiving criticism, and I'm so grateful for every little piece of criticism I received during that time because it shaped me as a person. I think that's a really great example of helpful criticism. I received so much good criticism as a child, for example, if my parents would see me handling a situation in a way that wasn't fair or wasn't right. Or wasn't nice, they would tell me. Or if I would say something to them that was wrong in some way, mean, whatever it may be, they would tell me. I think your middle school and high school years are so valuable because you receive. So much criticism and all of it shapes you into the person that you end up becoming, and I think that's a really beautiful thing. But anyway, that was super off topic. Going back to what bad criticism is so far I've said it hurts someone's feelings. It's meant to hurt somebody's feelings and not be helpful #2 it's for the giver of the criticisms, personal gain. OK, so that's what we touched on so far. Next, it's given about something inconsequential, like someone's outfit. It's given about something that just doesn't need to be criticized. Like, if your friend comes to you and they're wearing an outfit and you think it's really not good unless, like, their ****** is hanging out and they're not aware of it, there's no reason to criticize the outfit, right? Because if somebody feels good about their outfit, they feel confident about their outfit. They feel confident about. Whatever. Sort of creative, artistic. Self expressing endeavor that they're on. Let them do it. I honestly believe that criticism is not necessary or helpful in those areas. And some of you might disagree with me and say, well, I want somebody to tell me my outfits ugly. I want somebody to tell me that my painting sucks, you know? I want somebody to tell me that this song that I wrote sucks, whatever it may be. Some people are like, no, I want to know, but I disagree because I think 90% of the time it's just not helpful and you just gotta let people express themselves in the way that they want to. I think The only exception is is when somebody is a rookie in a topic and somebody isn't is. A pro at a topic. I'll give you an example. So I recently have been getting into watercolor painting and I love it. It's so fun. Like, watercolors are so fun. And my dad is a professional artist. He's an artist. He paints paintings for a living, right? So sometimes I'll text my dad a photo of something that I'm painting and I'm like, I feel like this looks off. Like what about this is off? And I ask him for criticism and I say please tell me what's off because I wanna learn, so I'm asking for it, right? And then he'll say, well, it's because. You didn't use enough shading on the on the chin of that face like you were. You're painting a face and you didn't shade the chin properly. It's missing some shadows. And then I'm like, oh, Oh my God, I totally see that now. Thank you. So you see what I'm saying? That's different or if like. You're just now getting into fashion and your friend is super into fashion. They are super savvy when it comes to styling outfits and stuff like that. If you go to your friend who's super into fashion and they get it and they know what's up. And you don't know anything. You're just getting into it. And you say, what am I missing? Like, this Alfie feels like it's missing something. And then they're like, well, actually, I think there's too much going on. I think you should take off a few of your necklaces. You're wearing too many necklaces. And I don't think that those earrings really match. I think you should switch them out. And then also, I think you should wear a different shirt because that shirt is kind of weird. Whatever. You're asking for criticism and then at that point everybody wins by it being given. Do you see what I'm saying? OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. 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That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. What does it really take to make in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu next, going back to tone if criticism is given in a judgmental tone. It's just not going to be. Received properly. I already kind of touched on that earlier, but. It just won't be received properly. So what's the point of even giving it? If you're gonna give criticism in a judgmental way, the person receiving it is gonna be like, well, **** you. I'm, you know, putting my I'm putting my walls up. And not letting myself receive. This because I'm in protective mode. When somebody approaches you in a judgmental or aggressive tone, you close off your receivers of information to protect yourself mentally. And so that's one thing. But the other thing is, and the last thing that I think characterizes bad criticism is. The criticism boosts the ego of the giver. So the person saying, oh, I would change this or that is getting an ego boost by kind of knocking you down a peg and telling you that what you did or what you made or how you did something wasn't right. It's not rooted in anything positive. It's rooted in boosting the ego, I think. A good example of that is the music example that I gave earlier, where you are jealous of your friend who makes really good music. They're just a natural at it. They're so good and they make a new song, they send it over to you and you're like, **** it's really good. And instead of just being like, I don't have any criticism, I think it's really, really amazing. You say, I don't know, it's, I can't figure it out. There's something off about it. You say that just to boost your own ego. That's negative. OK, moving on. Now that we've established what good and bad criticism is, we can talk about how to receive it, because I think that learning to receive it is. And art within itself, I mean, it's taken me so long to learn how to healthily receive it. I think being on the Internet has helped me a lot because. I have been forced to read extreme amounts of criticism about myself on a constant basis because I'm just out there on the Internet and anybody can comment on me, what I'm doing, what I'm wearing, how I look, how I did something, how I didn't do something. And so I've become pretty good at it. I would say I have. I have some practice, right? My first tip is to not let it crush your ego. I almost think of it like this when someone gives you criticism before you let the criticism take over your mind. Like a ******* virus, you know, because sometimes it can have that effect where it just takes over your brain and then it's all you can think about for weeks before you let it get to that point. Think of your brain. Is having two sections when it comes to receiving criticism half of your brain in the front of your brain? Think of it as a holding tank for information, and then think of the back section of your brain as the permanent information station. OK, this is how I think of it. So when somebody gives me criticism before I take it to heart, before I digest it completely, I let it sit in that holding tank in the front of my brain. For a little bit and I kind of chew on it and I ask myself a few questions before I make it permanent. I asked myself, number one, do I think that this person is giving me this criticism to help me #2 do I think that this person knows what they're talking about enough to be commenting on anything that I'm doing at all? #3, does this have malicious intent? #4 do I think that they're right? Even if it's hard to admit, sometimes somebody will give you criticism that's hard to swallow. You're like, I don't want to admit this about myself, for example. I think this is most. Uncomfortable when it comes to your character. I've had people a few times in my life say to me, you know, I don't think you handled that very well or that wasn't really very nice. The way that you did that, like that wasn't very nice the way that you handled that situation. I've had that happen to me a handful of times in my life, not very many, but every single time that it's happened, it has really rocked my world a little bit because and and it's rocked my world because at first I was like, no, **** you. I handled that fine, right? And then I was like, wait a minute. I let it sit in that holding room in my brain for a little longer. And I was like, no, they're right. I didn't handle that well. And at first, you know, I'd let it crush my ego. But then with a little bit more thought and a little bit more reflection, I would come to the conclusion that they were right in that there's nothing wrong with that, there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, and there's no reason to bring my ego into it and get angry that somebody is trying to help me. And then I would accept it as fact and as truth. I'd store it in the back section of my brain and use that throughout my life. After that point. Before you let criticism affect you in any way. You gotta let it sit in that holding tank in your brain where it's almost a little bit removed from you. You haven't fully digested it yet because you need to decide whether or not it's something you want to keep. Do you know what I'm saying? You have to decide, is this something I want to keep, or is this something I just want to let go? And you have to take some time to think about it before you can decide that the hardest thing about receiving criticism is keeping your ego out of it. Regardless of what kind of criticism you're receiving, but it can be an ego crusher when somebody says. Not sure, not sure about how you did that. Right. It can crush your ego because it puts you in a vulnerable spot. When somebody corrects you in some way, but you have to look at it as this is either somebody trying to help me be better, or this is somebody, this is somebody's own insecurities projecting onto me. It's one of those two. And if it's somebody trying to help you, then there's no reason to have an ego about it. Because guess what? This is going to make you a better person in whatever way. This is going to make you a better person. This is going to make you a better artist. This is going to make you a more talented. Hardworking blah blah. This is gonna help you be better in some way. And then if it's rooted in somebody's own personal agenda, or it's rooted in. Somebody else's ego, or it's rooted in. Malicious intent, then you can just let it go. You don't even need to bring your ego into it at all, because you can look at it and say, hmm, something. Something here is fishy, so I'm just going to let it go. I'm not even going to listen to this ****. I'm just going to let it go. I think to sum up, the best way to receive criticism is number one, you have to take it with a grain of salt. In the beginning, you can't take it as fact in the beginning. You have to analyze it first before you before you let it in and you let it affect you emotionally. You need to give yourself some distance on it. Mentally, before you pull it in close, does that make sense? It's very metaphorical, but it makes sense in my head and it's the way I look at it. When I first receive it, I try to receive it with some distance. I try not to absorb it immediately. It's almost like another way to word this is when you first receive criticism. Think of it as being outside of your body, outside of your mind, outside of your body. Think of it as almost an object that is disconnected from you. It is not connected to you, and while it's outside of your body, you can analyze it. You can look at it and say, OK, actually this is useful, or this actually isn't useful, and then you can either decide to swallow it and bring it inside of you. And absorb it. Or you can say, I'm just going to leave this one out and I'm not going to bring this one in. That's the way I look at it. OK, now let's discuss how to give criticism. Step one, fully think about it before you give it. I've already explained why enough, so I'm not even going to go into it. #2, ask yourself, why are you giving this criticism? Is it because you have wisdom on the topic and you wanna help somebody be better? Is it because you kind of want to jab somebody a little bit emotionally? Ask yourself those questions #3 weigh the pros and cons of speaking your mind. Even if what you're saying is rooted in trying to be helpful and trying to make somebody better, ask yourself is it going to upset them so much to a point where it's not even going to be helpful anymore? For example, somebody shows you an outfit. And they're like, I love this outfit. And in your head, you're like, I hate that outfit. And you're like, hmm, should I give criticism about this because? They're gonna go out tonight and they're going to look kind of funky a little. You know, I don't know if people are gonna judge them for their outfit or whatever. Should I, like protect them and tell them that this outfit is not so good? Or should I just let them wear it because they feel confident? Weigh the pros and cons in this specific example. The pros are that you might protect them from being judged in public, but the cons are that you're going to make your friend feel really bad about an outfit that they actually kind of like. Got away the pros and cons. Also, ask yourself do I know this person well enough to be giving them criticism? You know, is it appropriate? And last but not least, before you give someone criticism, put yourself in their shoes. If you were them, would you rather remain aloof about this certain topic? And just learn for yourself. Or would you rather receive criticism? For example, let's say your friend just started dating a guy and you're like, oh, huh? This guy is bad news. He just doesn't. He feels like bad news to me. So you want to go to your friend and criticize her decision to start dating this guy? Put yourself in her shoes. If you were in her shoes and you just fell in love, would you rather just go through the experience on your own and make mistakes on your own and? Find his true colors on your own or would you rather have somebody come to you and say, yeah, I don't know if he's the right guy and kind of make that decision for you and point out the red flags for you? Ask yourself that. For me, personally, I prefer to just. **** ** and learn for myself in most scenarios. I'd rather just have to learn for myself when it comes to things like that, that you won't know for sure until you experience it. Yeah, put yourself in their shoes. I think when it comes to what is appropriate to express disapproval of, I think stuff that's neutral is better off just left alone and on criticized like somebody's aesthetic choices, like their choices in art, music, makeup, clothing, somebody's. Personal beliefs, you know, that don't impact anybody but themselves, just their own personal moral compass. I think unless you are very, very close to them and they have something fundamentally wrong with their beliefs, you probably should just leave it alone. Like, if somebody believes in God and you don't, it's kind of none of your business to go and like, say, and criticize that belief because it is none of your business and it doesn't impact you. If somebody believes in God and you don't, all of that stuff is neutral because it doesn't impact you, right? Like their behavior or choice or whatever it may be doesn't impact you. It's neutral. That I feel like does not need criticism, although some people disagree and they're like, no, I can criticize whatever I want. But I tend to avoid criticizing those specific topics. Things that I think are appropriate to receive a little bit of criticism would be things in a work or school environment. Because the whole point of being in those environments is to. Do the best work that you possibly can and also learn as much as you can. It's not personal because usually the things that you create in work or school are not. Personally tied to you as a person, it's based on strictly your quality of work. I think when somebody is asking you for criticism, it's appropriate to give criticism because they're asking you for it. Obviously, if somebody's asking you for it, that doesn't mean it's. In excuse to give it in a mean way, but I think in that case it's appropriate. I also think it's appropriate about an objective piece of work. For example, you and your friend go see a movie, or you and your friend go to an Art Museum and look at art, or you and your friend, whatever, OK? And you go and you look at something else that that neither of you guys have created. Art, movie, food at a restaurant, whatever it may be. I think that's that's a OK area to give criticism because neither you or your friend created that thing. Even if one of you guys like it and one of you guys don't, I think that that's still a safe space to be giving criticism because neither of you guys created it, neither of you guys have a personal tie to it. And last but not least, I think when a situation is timely, like for example, somebody's choosing between two jobs. Or they need to respond to a text really quickly, or they need to handle an argument and they need advice fast. I think that in moments like that, sometimes it can be helpful to chime in and say, you know, I wouldn't do it like this, I would do it like this. Because when things are timely, I think desperate times call for desperate measures. And sometimes somebody needs a second opinion and they need it fast. And so I think there can be situations where it's appropriate to give it then. But anyway, that is my. Approach to criticism in my life and I feel like. When it's approached in this way, it it can be so helpful and it can be so important no matter what form that it comes in. It can teach you about the people around you in your life. It can teach you about yourself. It's a really powerful thing and I've really learned to appreciate it. And it's not easy to learn how to give it properly and to receive it properly. And it's difficult. It's a process and learning how to make it a positive thing all, all around, you know, it's not easy and it takes practice and it takes a sense of mindfulness as well. But. Getting to that point is so it's so awesome because I've learned so much from. Criticism that's been even uncomfortable at times, but I've learned so much and become so much of a better person from being able to receive it properly. I don't think I'd be half of the person that I am today if I hadn't learned how to receive criticism since I've learned how I've become such a better person. And I think that also comes with age, because you know, when you're younger you are still learning about yourself. What? Your moral compass. Is who you are, what's nice and what's not. You know who you are creatively. Like, there's so much you're learning, right? But since I've learned how to handle all this **** I've just become a better person from it. So anyway, that's all I have for today. Thank you guys for listening and hanging out. It's always such a pleasure. I have to pee so bad because I've been drinking my coffee throughout this episode and it's just like I'm going to **** myself. I've been holding my pee for like 1/2 hour and let me just. Get worse by drinking more coffee. But anyway, Speaking of coffee, check out my coffee company Chamberlain coffee.com and if you wanna pick some up, I have a little coupon code AG15 for a little discount if you want to pick up coffee, but anyway. Thank you guys for listening and hanging out. We do it every week. We'll do it again next week. We've been doing it for a lot of weeks, so you can listen to past weeks if you want, follow anything goes on Twitter, at a G podcast or on Instagram at anything goes rate. Anything goes on any of the streaming platforms that you stream podcasts. DM me, tell me your thoughts. Comment on my on Instagram. I don't know. Do whatever. Do whatever you want, OK? Let me know what you think of this topic. I always love having my episodes be an open conversation where I can share what I've been thinking recently, and then you guys can come and you guys can share what you've been thinking recently. And even if you want, you can criticize what I said. I get criticism on stuff that I talk about all the time, and I appreciate it as long as the criticism is constructive. Obviously, I receive constructive criticism on things that I say. On this podcast and and I'm open to that because that's the whole point. What I love about this podcast is that I come on here and I just talk about what I've been thinking and what I've been learning as a young person and I share it with you guys and you guys can say I don't really **** with that. Like I don't agree with that or you can say I love that I agree with that. That is what makes this so fun and magical is that it's it's an open conversation where we're all just trying to learn and become the best people we can together. And it's it's a beautiful thing. And so I appreciate your positive and constructive criticism that you give about this podcast. And I appreciate you guys for listening. And I'll talk to you next week. And until then, just keep being you, babe. Love you.