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I'm having really bad voice cracks today, like my voice is just cracking nonstop. Is burped. I burped. Keep burping. My voice is kind of gone, so I will be there. Was one I will be having a lot of voice cracks today. I apologize for that. I might be going through puberty or something. I don't know why my voice is all ****** **. It could be because I'm dehydrated all the time. Could be part of it anyway. Let me give you a little update. Yesterday. I decided to fake tan. It kind of looks great, to be honest. I actually did a really good job. I have not faked hand in over a year probably. Just because there has been a reason to. But. I am so pale from being inside all the time that I I was like, I need to look like I've stepped in the sun, like I look terrible. I look really bad when I'm pale in my eyes, in my opinion. And it makes me super self-conscious when I don't look a little sun kissed, you know? So I decided to take matters into my own hands and do a little fake tan, and I didn't really help, but it it was kind of fun and now I look like I went to the Bahamas. So I mean, looks like I had a little trip to Cabo. OK, and. I love it. So that's my update. That's all that's really happened this week to me anyway. But we have something we need to talk about. And that is the fact that tomorrow is my birthday, tomorrow's my birthday when you're listening to this. My birthday will be long gone. Long gone. My birthday will have happened almost a week prior, but when I'm recording this. It's my last day. Oh my God, it's my last day, 18. It's my last day being an 18 year old. Tomorrow I am turning 19 years old and I decided to dedicate an entire episode to birthdays because. To be completely honest, I ******* hate them. But I hate everything about them. And a lot of people are like. Skeptical of that? You know what I mean. Like when somebody says, Oh my God, I hate birthdays, I hate birthdays. It's like, shut up. You love your birthday. You love your birthday. Shut up. That's normally how it is. So I get it. You guys are probably thinking that about me. About me. But. If I explained to you how the last five birthdays of my life went, I think you'd be like, OK, she actually has a right to hate birthdays. But we'll get into that later. I need to go get some chapstick because my lips are really chapped. Be back in a SEC. OK, I'm back. Lips are all. Chapter wait, they're all? Lubed up. That's gross. My lips are all moist. And now I can talk properly. I was like. For some reason I couldn't talk in the beginning of this podcast. It was because my lips were so chapped that I didn't have full lip mobility. Now I'm talking normally. I almost want to start this whole episode over because now I'm talking normally and I wasn't in the beginning because I couldn't even move my lips. I should have like made that connection. My lips were so dry I literally could not open my mouth farther than like a centimeter. And now I'm talking normally cause I can actually move my lips. It feels really good. Should I start this over? No, too lazy, not going to do that, but. OK, let's get into this. You guys know, based off of what I said like 30 seconds ago, that I don't like birthdays? And there is a reason and it's because. The last five birthdays I've had five or so have been so bad. So bad, OK. Well, let's actually start it. Let's start it in middle school. Let's start back to middle School, 5th grade. In fifth grade. The whole thing. Was that on? Your friend's birthdays, you decorate their locker, right? Obviously. Well, I had a group of friends in middle school that I didn't really fit in with, but I still hang out with them. They were kind of the popular group and I really just wanted to fit into it, but it was. I didn't. I just didn't. And they didn't really. I don't think they thought of me as one of them because they all kind of went to elementary school together and all that. And like, I was kind of a transferred student in a sense. Like I moved school districts for the first year of middle school, so I didn't know anybody. And so I did not really fit in with them, but they were my friend group and my birthday rolls around. And I remember I was so excited. Because I truly thought that they would decorate my locker because. You know, I had done that for them and we had all decorated each other's lockers and. You know, I I just expected my locker to be decorated. I show up. Lo and behold. No decorations on my locker. As a fifth grader, I was crushed. Cried in the bathroom about it. And uh. It was so ******. It just sucked. So that was my fifth grade birthday. Memory that sucked. Umm. The rest in middle school, I don't even remember what I did for my birthday. To be honest, I did get a few locker decorations after that 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. I'm pretty sure my locker did get decorated, so that's good. You know, as a middle schooler, again, those things are very sensitive. Next is my 15th birthday. On my 15th birthday I was. Super depressed, like at my peak of my depression, probably that I've ever been at, been at. And my dad and I went to San Francisco. For all my birthday just to like walk around and get coffee and just hang out in the city for my for my day and I was so. Depressed? Like fully having an episode. During my birthday that I literally had to sit down. In a. Park. For like 2 hours and cry while my dad. Kind of walked around the area. And just let me have my space. So that was ******. And then next was my 16th birthday. I was also depressed this year on my birthday. Really having another episode again? And in that I failed my drivers test on the day of my birthday. So then I had a mental breakdown about that cause I was already kind of not doing so well mentally. Then I filled my driver says. But then that made me start my YouTube channel. So like, that's kind of cool. And then. Another year on my birthday I had mono. So I couldn't really celebrate it. That was actually last year I had mono, I think. I was sick for 9 days. So then couldn't really celebrate then? And then. Another year mixed in there. I just didn't have any friends that year, so I couldn't have a party. So then my dad took me to the beach. That was really nice. I don't remember what year that was, though. Moral stories. I have not had the best birthday track record. I usually don't do anything. I never have a party. I never really celebrate it. And when I do try to do anything, it usually doesn't really go so well. Like, I usually just end up having a ****** day. And that's OK, I don't, I don't really care, but that's kind of why I don't like birthdays cause I think I'm a little bit like. Paranoid when my birthday comes around because I just. Don't want to have a ****** day? In general. But my track record is to have ****** birthdays. So, like, I get scared when my birthday comes around cause I'm like, here we ******* go again, like, what's going to happen this year, you know? So I'm hoping that this year is going to be a good year. I've really good people in my life. That I really love and care about and I feel like I'm in a really good spot mentally. So I think that this year could be a really good turning point for me. I'm really excited to see what happens, but regardless, I'm not really going. To be celebrating it much, just cause I would rather just have a chill day to myself. Relaxed, whatever. Maybe. Well, I can't really see anybody right now anyway. But yeah, just a chill day. That's all I want. Actually. That's what's happening this year is that we're in quarantine. But that's OK with me. I don't mind. That because that's. Not like that's a everybody's. That's not a problem. That's specific to me. Umm. Everybody's having, we're all in this together, so I can't. Even complain about that or say like, Oh my birthday is this was that this was my 19th birthday like fail moment was that we're in quarantine because everybody's in court. You know what I mean? Like, that's just not. That doesn't count but. Now let's get into. The types of people on their birthday, OK. There's, I would say that there's three main groups. Number one are those who genuinely don't care about their birthday. And they're just grateful for whatever happens. I love these people. People that have no expectations, genuinely. Like genuinely no expectations. It has no weight to them. But then you do something for them and they're really grateful, right? These people are great. I know a few of them, and I love people like this because it's just like. These are the types of people you want to do things for, right? When somebody's like, I don't care about my birthday, it doesn't matter to me. You're like, OK, well, that makes me want to do something for you. And then when you do end up doing something for them, they're actually really grateful. And they're like, wow, I didn't expect this, but I'm really grateful that you did this, whatever. It's like a win. Win because they didn't expect anything. And then you want to do things for them and then they're grateful. It's perfect. Love people like that. I'm kind of like that. I feel like I'm like 50% like that. But instead of just like not really caring and not having an opinion about birthdays, I just. Like hate them. And I'm angry about them just cause I have so many bad memories from them so like. I'm passionately angry about birthdays and I'm. But I'm so grateful if people do things for me on my birthday, you know? But I'm not quite that chill about it because I hate it so much. Second type of person on their birthday. Is people who act like they don't care at all. But then they wanna surprise party really bad. Like they act like they hate their birthday just so that they'll have a surprise party. I hate people like that. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of surprise parties. I would rather know what's going on so that I can like plan around it in a sense, and like, be aware and. I mean, but then again, if somebody planned a surprise party for me, I'd probably love it. But. Like I think personally, for me, I like to be in control of everything. So. That's just me, but. These people are like, I hate my birthday. And then if you don't throw them a surprise party, they're moping around all day. It's OK to say that you care about your birthday and that you want to do something fun. I don't get why people. Like lie about it. Because then it like makes the whole thing more confusing for the people who actually don't like birthdays, because then nobody can trust the people that actually don't really want to do anything crazy for their birthday. Those people now don't get trusted anymore because. They're getting confused with the people that say that they don't like birthdays but actually want to do something crazy. So now what's the true story? You know what I mean. Now nobody knows what's going on. There's no winning because nobody knows truly what anybody wants to do. Like when I say birthdays, people could be like, she secretly wants a surprise party when that's not what I want. And but how is anybody supposed to know? Because there's so many people that are lying. I hate people that. Also, say that they hate birthdays and then when you do something for them though, they're like complaining about it. I know that's kind of hypocritical because I said that like, it's kind of hypocritical. Maybe not. I don't know. But I hate like when somebody's like, oh, don't do anything for my birthday and then you do something for them and then they complain about it. That ****** me off. Because it's like. Just because you hate birthdays doesn't mean you can be an *******. When somebody does something for you. You know. That ****** me off. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for fallcheckoutmacys.com, that's macys.com. You'll find what you need, I can guarantee you that. Anyway, moving on third people on their birthdays. The type of people that make the entire month about them. Birthday month, people. I actually like people like this because they're honest. You know what I mean? Like, they are being straight up. They're like, listen everybody, I love my birthday and I want to celebrate the **** out of it. Let's go. That's great, because then you know exactly. They're telling you exactly what they want you to do, which is. As much as you can to make their birthday feel special. There's no trying to decode anything, right? I love that. I love that type of person and I wish. It was just more black and white with birthdays and we could just read through. We didn't have to read through the lines with everybody. So stressful. I would say I'm not even any three of those just cause I have. I literally have birthday trauma. Like, I'm not kidding, I. I get like angry about birthdays and I. And I hate, but I also think I hate birthdays because. I don't like when people do things that are nice for me. Like I feel like. I feel kind of guilty when people do things for me. Like, I feel like my birthday is kind of a burden to others. Like it's just like a responsibility and it's just something that they need to like, handle. And I feel like it gets in the way, like I feel like it's a. I feel guilty about people putting in effort. To my birthday, because I don't really care about it that much. And so I feel guilty when people. Like? Do something nice for me on my birthday because I'm like. I feel like it. It was a burden to them, like I feel like they felt like they had to. Whereas like if somebody does something on another normal day, like somebody does something nice on a normal day, like that's out of the kindness of their heart cause they wanted to. But I feel like birthdays are like a responsibility where people feel like they have to do something nice and I never want somebody to feel like they have to do something nice for me. And I think that's another reason why I don't like birthdays, cause I feel like it puts like a responsibility. It makes other people feel like they have to. Do something when like in reality, I don't care and I'm more concerned about like effort that people put in on a day-to-day basis. And I'm more concerned about the effort I put in on a day-to-day basis into my friendships and relationships rather than one day of the year. It's not that deep, it's not that deep, and I don't know why I'm making it that deep. That's of huge me problem. I don't know, but I'm just. I'm analyzing birthdays. That's what this episode is. So **** it, yeah, I always feel guilt on my birthday. That's why I kind of tried to do the least amount possible so that I feel less guilt is I think I need to talk to a therapist about that. Like that sounds like a problem. OK, next we're talking about birthday parties. Have not had a birthday party in so long, but I love attending birthday parties. I love attending birthday parties. The funny thing about birthday parties is that they're actually less about. The person whose birthday it is and they're more about. Everybody else. I mean, of course, like, you know, if you wanna make sure that the person whose birthday it is, is having a good time and all that. But if you think about it, the birthday party is more about the guests, like the actual person whose birthday it is. Ends up. Stressed out? Probably crying. They had to do all the planning, they had to pay for everything. And it's more about the guests being happy. Which I think is fun and all, but I also think that, like, I don't like having my own party, because that's a lot of work and it's exhausting. I'd rather go to somebody else's party, celebrate them, the attention, be all on them. You know, I just get to enjoy myself. And then I get to go home and then they get have to clean up. That's amazing. It's an amazing scenario. Unless I'm the one throwing a party for someone, then it's like, you know, that's fun too, because still the attention is on me and they get to go home and relax. I clean up and then that's it. I enjoy that as well. But I just don't like when it's all about me. I don't like being like the I also hate when people ******* sing happy birthday to me. Ah. It's the worst. The worst. I think a nice like small birthday party with like a few people is the best. Like a solid 6 to 10 people that you really love and care about your closest friends. And then like calling it, you know what I mean? And then that being it and I think that that's the best. I think that's like so fun and. It's chill and it's like. You don't have to be hanging out with people that you like only half like. I think that's ideal. Small birthday party. Easy clean up. Low pressure, you know. Don't even have to dress up. Don't have to rent a venue, you know, just like a few people hanging out. OK, now let's talk about gifts. I love giving gifts. I do. But I don't like. Receiving gifts because I hate. Having to react. I don't know how to react. I prefer. Like gift giving when it's nonconfrontational, right? Like, I like to send people gifts to their house. So that. They know that I'm thinking of them. They know I love them. They know I care about them. But I don't have to. They don't have to put on a show and react in front of me. They can just enjoy it. Maybe it'll put a little smile on their face and then they can continue with their day, you know what I mean? That's more my thing. I'm not as about. Giving somebody a gift in front like it makes me super uncomfortable because. I get uncomfortable when I open a gift, and I feel like when I give somebody a gift. I'm making them uncomfortable when they have to open it, but also gift giving is like my lowest love language. If you guys know what that is, there's this test that you can take or you can find out your love language. There's like 5, I think it's. I'll read them. I find this really interesting, so why not get into it? So there's five love languages. There's words of affirmation. Physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service. I think my top one is quality time. And then acts of service and then. I don't remember what it is. I took the test once. I know quality time. And acts of service are up there, but I also feel like physical touch was up there too. And words of affirmation, my lowest, was receiving gifts anyway. You guys don't care. So maybe that's why, like, I just have a hard time with giving gifts and receiving gifts is because that's just, like, low on my love language. It's just not my love language. I just don't get it. Like, it just doesn't matter to me. As a kid, I think, you know, I used to. I never really cared about gifts like. Materialistic things like just don't matter to me. I like. I'd rather spend time with somebody I'd rather. Make a memory with somebody. I'd rather have somebody give me a hug like dead I'm not. I would just prefer that cause that is something that like makes me. It releases more endorphins for me or something. I don't know, but that's just something I I would prefer. So I have a hard time with gifts, but I am good at giving gifts. I feel like I actually. I I tried it. I'm like a practical gift giver. Like, for Mother's Day, I was like, Mom, I know you've been wanting a new rug. For your living room, pick out a rug and I'll get you that rug for Mother's Day. Instead of me picking something out, I'd rather help somebody and give them something practical. That's what I think of or like with my dad. He, like, needed to do surfbird sort of. Now. He needed a new wetsuit, actually. Once he needed a new wet suit, and I was like, for Father's Day, I'll get you that wet suit. It's like practical **** you know what I mean? I think that that's so much better because that's something that they need anyway. You can't fail with that, you know what I mean. But either way, I hate giving and receiving gifts. Last thing we're going to talk about. Is the overall anxiety about getting older. You know, I. I don't know. I sometimes get anxious about, like, being 19. I'm like, holy **** it's my last year being a teen and then I will just never be a teen again. And like times moving so fast and it's scary, but I don't. I try not to think about it. I really do. I push it out of my head because it just upsets me. It genuinely upsets me and it makes me really uncomfortable and I just don't want to think about it. And. That's not what it's about, you know what I mean. Age is just like a it's a it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Life is still gonna be fun until the day that I die, so it doesn't matter what age I am. Like I'm gonna have fun when I'm ******* 75 on God. I'm just gonna be. There's no limit. I'm just going to have fun forever, so I try not to get worried about it, but it does kind of stress me out. Anyway, that was super negative. I'm sorry, I'm sorry the whole episode so far is so ******* negative because I don't like birthdays, but I wanted to just get it all off of my chest. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair eyewear com Emma for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR eyewear.com/emma. Alright, it's time to answer questions. Somebody says, have you ever thrown a big party? I have not. I've yet in my life to throw a big party. And I never. I don't really ever. Plan on doing that. I don't ever really want to do that. Umm. Ever. Like, I can't imagine renting out a venue and having like 100 people at my party. Like I I could not do that. I would ******* hate that. Because #1, there'd be a lot of it. It causes drama. Always. I don't even like 100 people. Like, I don't know 100 people. So like. I don't know how that would work. And it would just cost a lot of money. I don't. I think it's really financially responsible for me as a person who doesn't like birthdays, to ever throw a big birthday party for myself when I don't even like them. You know. Somebody said, do you prefer to get presents or money? I would way rather get a present than money. Now that I'm older because I think that. Like, I don't really need. I don't care about gifts as much. So if somebody gave me a thoughtful present, that means more to me than money at this point in my life, but when I was younger, money 1000%. Because money was something I could save up and then, like, buy something, like save up for something else. You know that I really, really wanted. And so that was always my favorite. Grandparents are the best at that. Somebody said between ohh this question is so good. Between what ages do you feel like you've matured the most? I think between 17 and 18 was pretty insane. Like I moved to LA. I like lived by myself. I like so much it happened to me socially. That matured me a lot, like I. You know, because I lived in LA, so I was like, I turned 17 and then like a few weeks after I moved to LA. And then by the time I was 18, I was just a different person because I lived in LA for a whole year. But I also think. That even this past year, actually, not that much has changed. I feel like I've had a lot of mental growth like my. Like the way that I look at things are is so different than how it was a year ago. Umm. But like, I don't feel like it was as big of a change as 17 to 18. That was huge. Huge. Probably the biggest one yet. I was actually reading. Speaking of 18 to 19, I was reading. My journal from a year ago. When I had just turned 18. And uh. It was so sad. I was really struggling like. I was really insecure and like. I could read it like I could read. The way that I was writing was like almost defensive, and it was like I was writing like defensively. About things like about my relationships with people like. Being like, you know, I don't know how to explain it without like. Literally reading my journal to you. And I'm never going to do that because I am gonna burn it because I don't want anybody to ever see anything that's in it. But yeah, I just. I was really insecure and defensive and like sad and. Really like codependent on so many people and like. Super unhappy. And I think I've just come a long way from that, and I've learned a lot. From that. But I don't think that was as big of a change, because I feel like, you know, I still live in LA and whatever. Umm. Somebody said favorite cake flavor. I would say. Fun fetti. But. I also really **** with lemon cake. Vanilla is great. Chocolate, I mean chocolate works too. I'm more of a vanilla cake type of person though. Somebody said. What's the most memorable thing? Somebody's ever done for you on your birthday. It's hard for me to remember. Last year actually. I was really sick on my birthday. As you guys know with mono. And so I was just in bed all day on my birthday and then. My friends actually ended up. Surprising me. At my house and then they took me. To a secret location. They didn't tell me where they were taking me. They actually pranked me and told me that they were taking me to get a tattoo. And I like believe them. And I was like, guys, I don't know what I want. Like you guys didn't give me any time. It turns out they were just taking me to go on a helicopter ride on a helicopter ride over LA, which was super ******* fun. And amazing and so sweet of them. So that was my birthday thing last year. I took a dayquil. My fever went away and I enjoyed the helicopter ride, and then I went home and then my fever came back and it was ****** but that totally made my day and that was really sweet and you know. They hung out with me even though I was sick, and that was really sweet of them. And they yeah, it was really, really meaningful. Somebody said what do you do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you? I always get so uncomfortable and I need help. OK. Usually I put my face in my hands and hide my face. And then I'll kind of like sarcastically be like, Oh my God, guys, stop, stop. And I kind of make light of it. And then I'm like. You know, I try to like act like I'm shy about it. You know what I mean? That's kind of my go to. And then when it's over, I'm like. Thank you, guys. And then I move on and it's really uncomfortable, but I just act shy the whole time. Somebody said you always cry on your birthday. Is that just me? Me too. I don't know why. I don't know why. Like. I always cry on my birthday at some point, hoping that this year we can skip that part. I would really appreciate it. Somebody said, are you anxious for your birthday tomorrow because it is tomorrow. No. I'm not because. Like I don't have any. Like I'm not really. I'm not doing anything, so like there's nothing to be anxious about. That's kind of why I like not doing anything, because there's just nothing to be anxious about. And it's like kind of a relief. I'm just kind of excited to have a good, normal day. And, you know, have a relaxing day. Maybe I'll. Do something special for myself. Who knows? Get myself a special meal or something. And call it a day. OK, this is actually really interesting. Kind of made me think somebody said, do you like having birthday parties or would you rather be alone? OK, I don't even like The thing is, I don't like doing anything for my birthday, but I also wouldn't want to. Fully be by myself on my birthday. Like? I would like, if I was fully by myself on my birthday, I would be OK with it. Like, it wouldn't really matter, but like I always would like an excuse to see my friends, you know what I mean? Like my close friends. So, like, it'd be nice to see my close friends on my birthday, but like, that's it. I wouldn't, like, choose to be alone. Like, if I could hang out with somebody on my birthday, that would be more fun, because it's more fun to hang out with people anyway. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, that's just more fun in general. I don't know. I'm like confusing myself trying to analyze it. I don't know. It doesn't need to be this deep. Oh my God, this is not a question, but I just remembered something crazy from middle school and high school. I don't know if this is like this, where you guys live or whatever, if this is just a. A me thing. Birthday texts. In middle school I would spend like. Six hours. Writing birthday texts to my friends that were like essays. And it was like, and if you didn't write like, an essay for your friend on their birthday, like, you're fake. And if you didn't send it right at midnight, you're fake. And then like. Throughout high school, like birthday texts were a big deal. Like if somebody from school didn't send you a birthday text. Even if they said happy birthday to you in person. ****** **. Like it was like. A mandatory thing, I know, one of my friends actually. Would make a list of who didn't wish her happy birthday. And I think I did that too. One year we made lists of who didn't send us birthday texts. Because that's ******. It's almost like it jab when somebody doesn't send you a birthday text. Not anymore. But like in middle school and high school's crazy. It's crazy how like meaningful that was, somebody said. How do you feel? Having this beer last year as a teenager and what do you think your 20s are going to be like? I'm actually really excited for my 20s because I feel like. I'm gonna be so much more mentally stable. And I feel like. It'll just be a lot more fun. Because I think that the last few years of my teens. Have just been filled with me doing so much. Like self discovery and I feel like things are finally starting to even out and I'm finally starting to figure **** out. And like obviously I still have a lot to learn, but I feel like the things that I'm learning, it's like at a more. Normal pace rather than like. Me having this sensory overload constantly of like learning **** and dealing with mental **** like, I just feel like I've been through a lot the last few years. I feel like in my 20s things are gonna kind of even out and I'm going to kind of just be able to enjoy. Everything for what it is and like. I'll have a little bit more wisdom, you know what I mean. Still still super dumb and stupid, but like have a little bit more wisdom. And I think you just start to care less. The older you get, the less you care, I think. So I'm really excited for that. And then, you know, my late 20s, I'll start doing all that adult ****. Which is scary, but we don't need to speak on that yet because I'm not there yet. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. 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And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now, Circle is giving all of my listeners up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink Cir. Ul.com Emma to get this limited time offer today. Again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. Somebody said. Do you like getting older? Is it something you want to avoid? Well, if there's nothing I can do about it. There's not one thing I can do about it. So. I might as well enjoy it. And think about how fun it's gonna be. You know, as you get older, you get. There's so many more things that you get to do. You know, and. I just take it day by day so I I don't avoid it because there's nothing I can do. I can't avoid it, can't stop time so. Somebody said what's been your favorite age so far? I think 18 was my favorite so far. I had fun at 17 too. 17 and 18 were pretty fun, but also a ******* train wreck. So. Like mentally for me, like, I was really going through a lot. So I don't know, like, I I think I actually feel like I'm at, I think 19. I know I just. I'm turning 19 tomorrow. So I'm not there yet, but I feel like I'm actually at one of the best places I've been in a really long time and I just have such cool people in my life and such cool opportunities and I'm having a lot of fun. And so I really like the age I'm at right now. It's kind of a beautiful time for me right now. Like? You know, of course there's the the daily things that get ****** ** but like, overall, I think she's kind of good right now. Somebody said, do you think it's fine not to want a birthday party? Absolutely. You know, the thing that I think is crazy is when somebody's like, hey, I want to do something, you know, kind of small for my birthday and then everybody's like. No, we're doing a big party for you, which is so selfish. Like. If somebody's like when it's your birthday, you should be able to choose whatever the **** you want to do. That's up to you. This is your day, so you get to do whatever you want. You get to drive the bus. And like, if people don't respect that, that's ****** ** because that's not fair. That just means that they want to throw a party so that they get to ******* party. Not because they actually care about your birthday, because I think a lot of people just want an excuse to party. And that's why they'll be like, oh, we're throwing a surprise party for you even if you don't want one, because they want an excuse to party. But I also get it, cause that's kind of, but then because it's kind of fun. So I don't know whose side I'm on with that. So, he said, do you ever make wishes when you blow your candles? No, I I think I do, but I don't remember what I think of. It's probably like who my crush likes me back. And then it never happens. Sometimes, sometimes. But not usually when I ******* wish about it on my birthday. So, he said. What age did you look forward to having the most when you were younger? Mine was 16. I think 18 was a big one for me and then now it's 21 and then after that it doesn't matter. I'm excited to be 21 because. Then there's like no more. Birthday age, things like, that's like the last legal birthday that matters. Do you know what I'm saying? And then after that I can do it like it's like then it's then that's kind of the last iconic one and then that's it. So. Somebody said, do you like the attention from a birthday? No, no, I don't. I don't. Makes me really uncomfortable. Because I don't know how to react, and then I always feel bad, like I'm coming off like an ******* because I don't know how to react to like a lot of attention at once. For like my birthday or something like I I'm bad at like expressing my like like I only, I'm like, thank you, thank you. But I don't wanna I don't know how to be grateful verbally in a way that like I feel like is. Makes that like I always feel like I don't seem grateful enough and so that's why I like hate it because I don't like receiving attention cause then I'm like. I feel like then there's more pressure on me to like. Make sure that I am showing them, that I appreciate them, but then I'm like bad at that emotionally for some reason and then I feel like I'm hurt somebody's feelings. Why do I think like this though? Like, why can't life just be more simple? I think I'm complicating things for myself and I think that's a huge me problem. Anyway, y'all, thank you for listening to that train wreck of an episode. Got a lot off my chest. Feeling really Good Hope you guys enjoyed it. If any of your birthdays are coming up, happy birthday. If any of you guys have ever had a birthday before, I will just say happy birthday. I just farted. Oh my God. I really hope you guys couldn't hear that. Oh my God anyway. Happy birthday to all of you. 19 tomorrow. Gonna be crazy. Gonna do absolutely nothing. Probably because the quarantine. But that's cool. I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. Thank you for coming back. Every single week if you do that. If not, that's cool too. And also thank you for being with me for my past three birthdays. Not all of you have maybe been with me for my past three birthdays, but I've been on the Internet for my past three birthdays, and. And I wouldn't want it any other way. I love you all. Appreciate you all have the best day. Yeah, we're here with Phil talking about what's new with heart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping could be an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Part Nissan. Recognize that? So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases get one year identity theft Protection 3, Virginia State inspections and multi point inspections, one year tire Rd. Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. Hartnissan.com right, you got it. Heartnissan.com or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head. They trust your heart maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with ACC dealer for full details.