Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

a series of unfortunate events

a series of unfortunate events

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 10:00

y’all i’ve been going through it the past two months. you know when everything that can go wrong, does? that’s literally been my life. some of the things that have been happening to me are just so ridiculous i had to share them with you guys. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Listen to Episode

Copyright © EFC LLC.

Read Episode Transcript

Ramble. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans. In principle and visit us at principal com business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit This episode is brought to you by Carvana. They'll drive you happy. Carvana has purchased over a million cars from Happy customers by giving them an offer within minutes, and they can do the same for you. Carvana will give you a real offer for your car within minutes. Then they'll come to pick up your car and pay you on the spot. So to get a real offer on your vehicle in minutes, download the app or visit Hello. My voice is so raspy right now. And I'm obsessed with it. If it was up to me, my voice would be raspy all the time. Because I feel like when my voice is raspy, everybody likes me 10 times more. Everybody suddenly wants to hang out. Everybody suddenly wants to have a 2 hour conversation with me. It's like. People like me in my normal state, but people love me when my voice is raspy. And. I don't know. I need to start like. Screaming into my pillow for an hour every morning so that my voice is always raspy because I love it. Anyway. The last like two months for me. Have been filled with bad luck. I have had the worst luck for the past two months. It feels like the last two months have just been unfortunate event after unfortunate event after unfortunate event like it's just. Nonstop this month. And. I was sitting down trying to figure out what I was going to talk about today. And I was like, well, maybe I could share some of my recent. Unfortunate events. And so I started writing a list, and the list of unfortunate events that have happened to me over the past two months is so long that. I thought it would be a disservice. To myself, if I didn't make a whole episode about it, because there's just so much. And it's not just like. Little unfortunate events. These are like. Bad. Like some of these things are really bad and like they might never even happen to me again, but for whatever reason. These things all happened within the same two-month period. And so today, I'm going to be telling you all those stories, the stories of my recent unfortunate events over the past two months. Let's start with. Possibly the worst one. It was around 11:00 in the morning. And. I arrive in Paris, France. For the Louis Vuitton fashion show and. I check into my hotel room and. I was actually staying with somebody else, so I was not alone in this hotel room. So me and this person check into our hotel. And. Immediately I lay down in bed and the person I was staying with goes to take a shower. And so I'm laying in bed, I'm on my iPad doing, you know. Stupid **** on my iPad. Who knows what I was doing. And I started to feel my stomach hurt. And I was like, why does my stomach hurt? Like, come on. Well, then again. My stomach kind of always hurts. So this wasn't too much of a shock, but my stomach was like really hurting, like it wasn't feeling good. And I have IBS. As most people do. Honestly, most people I know have IBS of some sort. Which is when. You have a very sensitive stomach. It's a little bit more complicated than that, but in simple terms, IBS is just having a very sensitive stomach. Anyway. I have IBS. I'm used to having stomach pain, but this stomach pain was a little bit worse than normal. Ignore it. I'm like, whatever. I keep going on my iPad. All of a sudden I felt that I needed to fart and. You know, I'm staying in a hotel room with somebody else, so normally I would hold my fart in just because. You know, I don't want to fart. In a hotel room. When I'm saying with somebody else and stink up the whole place, right, I don't want to do that. But this was a unique situation because the person that I was staying in this hotel room with was in the shower, so I was free to fart all that I wanted until they got out of the shower. So you know what I did? I ******* farted, I farted, I farted it right up in bed. I tooted in bed. And. When I tooted. It was a little bit more powerful than usual, you know, it was a little bit more. Intense than usual. Uh, it had a lot of force. It had a lot of power and. I wasn't expecting that. And so after I farted, I stopped going on my iPad for a second. I put my iPad down and I was like. I don't know if that was just a fart. That felt like more than just a fart, you know? That felt like. That felt more like a shark to me. And so I lay there for a second, and I. Brace myself for what I might find. When I stand up and look in my pants. But I gained some courage. I stood up. I pulled down my pants. And lo and behold, I ******* **** myself a little bit. I was like you. No way. No ******* way. I just. Pooped myself as a 20 year old woman. What do I do? Like what do I do? So I saw it for a second. And I'm like, OK. The person who I'm sharing this hotel room with is in the shower still. I know this person well. They're going to be in the shower for a while. I have a little bit of time, but I need to figure this out quick. Now. This is when the story starts to get a little bit disgusting, but I'm going to tell it anyway because. Why not? I take my pants off. And I'm like, what do I do? So I use the pants that I'm wearing. And I cleaned myself up a little bit. I know it's disgusting. And then I wrap up the pants. To hide all of the. You know. ****. I can't believe this story is real. OK anyway. I wrapped them up tightly. And I put them in one of the little closets in the hotel room. OK. That was step one. Then I put on a new pair of jeans. I was like, it's fine, I'm just gonna put on a new pair of pants that are nice and clean. I'm all clean now. We're good. I just need to figure out how to dispose. Of this pair of pants that now has **** in them, that's the issue. So I'm thinking for a minute and I'm like, OK, you know what I could do? I could go down into the hotel lobby and I could throw them out into a trash can in the hotel lobby. I know it's disgusting, but I was desperate at this point and the person who I was sharing the hotel room with was still in the shower, so I couldn't go handle the situation in the bathroom. I had to handle it. Without access to a bathroom. And so I go back into the closet. I take The Dirty pants and as I'm turning to leave. The hotel room to go down to the lobby to throw these out. I look at the bed. And there's a. ******* **** ***** on the bed and I was like, no. No. No. It's on the bed and I'm sharing this room with someone else. Like, if it was just me, it would still be unfortunate. But, you know, it's like, OK, I have time to handle this. I'm alone. You know, nobody's here. Yes, this is mortifying. Yes, this is terrible. But, like, at least I am on my own and I can handle this on my own, but no. I. Got a **** ***** on a bed that I'm going to be sharing with someone else. No. Luckily for me, the shower is still running. The person that I'm staying with is still in the shower. At this point it had been at least 15 minutes. I'm running out of time, so. I just start stripping the bed and unfortunately for me I was under the covers when I sharded so. My chart landed on the fitted sheet that goes around the mattress. Which is like the hardest. Piece of linen. To remove from a bed is the fitted sheet, the sheet that is wrapped around the mattress. That thing is so inconvenient to get off. It takes at least 5 minutes to get that thing off. But I was like, you know what? I just got to get moving now. So I start throwing everything off the bed. I'm throwing the pillows across the room. I'm throwing the duvet cover in the duvet and everything off the bed as fast as I possibly can so I can rip off this sheet, wrap it up tight and shove it in the closet and at least hide it. Until I can figure out what I can do with it. I'm shaking at this point. My my hands are shaking. I'm almost in tears. I'm almost into I'm so freaked out. I get the fitted sheet off the bed, I wrap it up and I shove it in the corner of a closet. In the hotel room. I was like, OK, I'm gonna handle this later. The first thing I need to do is I need to throw away this pair of pants. Somewhere outside of my hotel room. So I take The Dirty pants. And I start walking around the hotel. And I ask a woman. Who works at the hotel is like, where's a bathroom? And so she led me to a bathroom in the main area of the hotel. And I threw the pants away in the in the bathroom trash can. And then I go back to my room. When I get back to my room, somehow the person that I was staying with was still in the shower. I was like, Oh my God, how is this possible? I look over at the bed and the bed is just ripped apart. I mean it is just ripped apart like. There's pillows everywhere. The bear mattress is just. Laying out. It looks a mess. I sit down for a second, trying to figure out what I'm going to do. And. All of a sudden I hear the shower turn off and I'm like, Oh my God. Ohh, like I need to come clean. I need to come clean. I need to tell this person what happened. I I can't lie about it. I could lie about it, but I don't know. I just I'm not a liar like I don't do well with lying. Uh, I'm a very honest person and I just. I always feel guilty if I don't tell the full truth, so I knock on the door of the bathroom. And the person who I'm staying with opens the door and I'm like. Can I, can I be honest with you? And they were like, what's up? And I was like. I **** the bed. And they were like, Oh my God. Oh no. Like, how Emma, like, how did that happen? And I was like, I think it's because I ate the airport food last night and like, you know, I've tummy issues. I don't know. And they were like, it's OK. It's OK, we'll figure it out. And I was like, OK, thank God. So luckily. I I didn't get heavily judged for this. I was honestly expecting a worse reaction, but I got a really nice reaction from the person I was staying with and I was like, OK, you know what? That's at least better at least. The reaction could have been worse, so I was feeling relieved about that. But now I needed to figure out how I was going to dispose of this dirty sheet. So I think for a second and I'm like, OK, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to call. The housekeeping and I'm going to ask them to come and replace the bedding, like the whole bed. I'm gonna have them replace all of the bedding. And then while they're walking out. I'm going to ask if I can put this sheet into their dirty laundry hamper. Just throw it straight in there. And I was like, that's the plan. That's what I have to do. And luckily the sheet was all wrapped up, so like, you know, there was no gross stuff visible at all, you know? And so that's exactly what I did. I called housekeeping. They came in, they changed the bedding. Right at the end, right as they're walking out, I'm like, hey, can I throw something in your dirty hamper? Threw it in there. And everything was OK. And then I took. The bottle of perfume that I brought with me on the trip and I sprayed the bed. And I sprayed the areas of the closet. That might have had my. Dirty pants. Touching it and. I called it a day and that's my story about ******** the bed in Paris. Whilst staying in a hotel room with somebody else. Now that was like the first unfortunate event that happened to me. But definitely not the last. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted. I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. The next unfortunate event happened a little bit more recently. One night I decided to park my car on the street instead of in my garage because I'm a lazy girl, OK? And I don't like pulling my car into a garage like I I really would rather not. And so. I decided to park my car on the street. Now I didn't think anything of it because I parked on the street all the time. So. I wasn't concerned about. Anything. I was just like, OK, I I parked my car on the street all the time. I'm too lazy to pull into my garage today. I'm just gonna park my car on the street like I do all the time. What could go wrong? You know, I've done this 1000 times. So I went into my home and I went to bed. The next morning, early in the morning. I come out of my home. And I start walking towards my car. Now my car is probably 200 feet away from my front door, right? So it's a little bit of a walk. So as I'm walking towards my car, I see something red on the floor. Or I guess on the street next to my car and I was like, what is that? And I start getting closer and I'm like, that looks like a shirt that I own. I was like that looks like that one red turtleneck that I own. And I was like, what is going on? And so I get up closer. And I realized that is my shirt. That is my red turtleneck. And I was like, Oh my God, my car got robbed, my car got robbed. So I walk up to the back of my car. And I look at the back. Windshield. Of my car and it's just smashed. The whole window is smashed. And I paused for a second and I was like, wait a minute, what was even in my car? Like, I don't even think I had anything in my car like. What did they steal? And then I remembered. I had a suitcase in my trunk. Basically I'm moving right now, so I'm in between. Two houses. I am living in a temporary rental house for a few months. Before I move into my permanent home, but. I'm kind of in the process of moving my stuff into my permanent home, and so I've been kind of bringing things over leisurely as I please. Suitcase by suitcase and so. I had a suitcase of clothes in my trunk that I was meaning to bring over to my new house, but I just left it in there because I was like, whatever, like, you know? I'm too lazy to bring it over right now. I'll bring it over when I get get a chance. It's probably going to be fine in my trunk. You know, whatever. Well, it wasn't fine in my trunk. Because now the whole suitcase got stolen. And then I was like this all makes sense. That's why there's one of my, you know, shirts on the floor outside of my car. Apparently that shirt didn't fit in their criteria. They didn't like that shirt, apparently. I'm like, why did you guys take whoever stole my **** right? They broke my whole back windshield on my car. Got into my trunk, stole an entire suitcase, but then decided to leave one shirt. I was like, why? They might as well have just taken that shirt. It's actually a cute shirt. It's like a red turtleneck with with, you know, yellow and blue and metallic stripes on it. It's actually quite cute. Not sure why they decided to leave that one behind, but take everything else. I was honestly kind of offended. I was like, did you guys really not **** with that shirt? Like, what's wrong with that? Sure, it's a cute shirt. You guys took everything else anyway, but. Now I'm left with a mess, right? Because I'm like, OK, my car has. A broken windshield. And. A bunch of my belongings are now. Out in the world, God knows where, what do I do? And so I called my mom and I'm like, what do I do? And she was like, well. She's like, I wouldn't even call the police, like. Whoever stole your stuff, like they're long gone, like. We're not going to, we're not gonna find them like it's it's over. You know what I mean? The stuff that got stolen is gone. We just need to get your car fixed. So I was like, OK so. I get in my car. With the back windshield completely blown out. And I just go about my day. I was like, you know what? I'm not sure when I can get my back window fixed. Everything that was in my car that was valuable has already been stolen, so I might as well just use my car as it is. So I go about my day, I'm I'm very upset throughout the day. I I'm just upset. I'm in a bad spot. And. Around lunchtime I was like, you know what would make me feel better? If I just ran over to Whole Foods real quick and got some sushi, that would really turn this day around. I was in the mood for sushi. I was craving it whole food. Sushi is my favorite. On-the-go sushi? Actually Whole Foods in Erwan are my favorite, but anyway. Let's pop into Whole Foods and grab some sushi, so I drive over to Whole Foods. I parked my car. I run in. I grab some sushi, I get back into my car, and I set everything up to eat because I love eating in my car. It's like my favorite thing I love just. Using my little center console in my car as a dinner table and just eating in my car. It's like my favorite thing. So I set my sushi up. I get out, you know, my wasabi and my little soy sauce packets, and I'm and I'm setting up all my sushi and I'm doing my whole thing. And I take a bite. And it's frozen. It's frozen. And I was like, there's no way. Why? Why is this? Why is it frozen? How is it frozen? I was like, when at what point did this get frozen? It's sushi from the little sushi refrigerated area in the Whole Foods. How is it frozen? It was literally frozen. There were shards of ice in it. I I didn't notice at 1st until I took a bite and my sushi was crunchy because it was frozen. I was like, how is this possible? And I was so hungry and I was so frustrated. At this point, I'm like, today cannot get any worse. Like, what is going on? And so I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try to defrost my sushi. So I turn up the heater in my car to the highest setting and I place my sushi next to it for about 5 minutes. I try to take a bite. It's still frozen. I was like, you know what? I'm done, I'm done. I'm not doing this right now. I'm going home. So I throw the sushi away. I was just so mad. I was like, I can't even. I don't even want to deal. I don't even want to try with this. I'm not even going to try to let it defrost. I don't care. I'm throwing it out and I went home and I and I post made it. And you know what? That's OK. You wanna know what a post made though? And this was like the only good thing that happened. I post mated Kava. If you've never had Kava before, it's like. A restaurant. That kind of lets you create your own bowl. And it's all like Mediterranean food. It's so good. Well, I recently did. A collab with them where I created. A ball with them. To be exact, it's called Emma's firebowl. OK anyway. I named it that kind of as a joke, like Emma's fire bowl. Like, you know, people say things are like fire. Why? I named it like Emma's fireball kind of as a joke, but then now I feel like. It's not really coming off as a joke anymore, but you do the best you can anyway, so I created a bowl with them. And it has like. Falafel, spicy hummus, feta cheese, Kalamata olives, lettuce. Avocado. All the good stuff, like, all my favorite. Mediterranean food flavors are in that bowl anyway. I created that with them a few. Months ago, it just recently came out. And I was like, you know what? I'm feeling really down in the dumps right now. I just tried to get sushi. It was frozen. I'm going to fulfill my lifelong dream of being able to order. Something off the off of a menu somewhere that I created that's like always been my dream. Like. I remember growing up. There were like these sandwich spots in town, like places that you could get sandwiches. And. Like, they had sandwiches named after people. Like they had, like, the Mikey sandwich. Which was basically like a sandwich named after one of their favorite, you know, consistent customers that always came in. And so they put something on the menu for Mikey so Mikey could come in and be like, hey, can I get the Mikey sandwich? And I always thought that was so *** ***. And so my dream has always been to have something like that on a menu somewhere. And so finally, I now have that at Kava. So I was like, you know what? What better thing to do to turn around the day than to be able to go on post mates in order the Emma's fireball? You know what I'm saying from cava? Like what? What? What could go wrong? Nothing went wrong I. Ordered the bowl online. It got delivered to my door. I ate it. It was delicious. I felt temporarily better. And it was magical. So thank God for that. That was like the only redeeming quality of that day. Also, if you want to check out that bowl, it's so good. It's available at all Kava restaurant locations. Go try it or order it off of a food delivery app, or order it through their app and pick it up. It's really good. And if you don't have a cava near you. The next best thing is to go to your local Whole Foods and pick up their spicy hummus, which I've been eating for years. It's one of my favorite snacks, anyway. Moving on, another unfortunate event that happened. So. As I mentioned earlier, I'm I'm in the middle of moving right now. I've been moving for like the past few months because. I'm basically. Redoing a house right now I I bought an old house and I'm redoing it in you know. Kind of fixing it up. And the process was only supposed to take like 8 months, but. Due to circumstances that I have a hard time understanding. The construction is taking a lot longer than I expected, so I've been living in rental houses for like the past year. Just waiting for my house to be done. And so I lived in this one rental house for about a year. And then. My landlord was basically like, you need to leave now, because. You need to leave and I was like OK so. Ever since I left that. Rental house that I was living in for about a year. I've just been living in Airbnbs and hotels and. Things like that. So it's the first day that I show up. In a new rental house, because I've been in like literally 10 rental houses over the past year and a half anyway, I I show up in a new one. A few weeks ago. And the hardest part about moving a lot? Is the fact that I have cats I have two cats. And that makes this whole process 10 times more complicated, because it's one thing you know to move around yourself a lot, but it's a whole nother thing to move yourself and two cats around. From house to house, it's it's a lot. And so. I've been very stressed out about this recently. I also worry about the safety of my cats because. They're my pride and joys, and so I want to make sure that they're safe, they're happy, they're insecure homes where they won't escape because there's a lot of coyotes in Los Angeles, and I don't want them to get eaten by a coyote. They definitely would get eaten by a coyote if I let them outside, etcetera, etcetera. So I've been very stressed out because. Every time I move from one rental to another. I have this fear that a cat is gonna go missing and. I'm going to be heartbroken. So anyway, I move into this new rental and I get the cats all unpacked. I get all my stuff unpacked, and I decide that I'm going to keep my cats in the master bedroom of this rental house, because. I don't really feel comfortable with them roaming around the whole house. You know, like what if there's a window open that I'm unaware of that they could sneak out of? Like, I don't know, I just would rather keep them in a smaller space. And keep them more contained, at least for the first few days that I'm in this new rental. And so that's what I did. I put them in the master bedroom. Set them up with all their stuff, their little litter box, their little. You know, food and water. And I went on my merry way. I. Had some errands to run that day that I moved into that rental. So after getting the cats all settled I went and did my thing. Later that day I get home. And I go into the master bedroom and I look around. I'm like, where are the cats? What? I start freaking out. I can't find them anywhere. They're confined to the master bedroom of this rental house. There's not that many places for them to hide, so I start freaking out because I can't find them in there. In like a pretty small room. I take a bag of treats. I start shaking the treats around, trying to lure them to come out from where they're hiding. I check every door and every window. Every single door and window are locked. I'm like, what the? Where are they? And then all of a sudden I hear a tiny, tiny little meow coming from the bed area. So I walk towards the bed and I sit for a second and I listen and I hear a little meowing and I'm like, Oh my God. They somehow. Sneak their way. Into the bed frame. Now, this bed frame was very unique. It wasn't the type of bed frame that has space under the bed. There's no space under the bed. The bed frame comes down to the floor. But if you were to lift the mattress up? There's a whole. Compartment. That's just empty space. Under the bed. And so I was like, you know what? That's where they are. So I lift the mattress up and lo and behold. There are my cats underneath the mattress. Hiding under the little slats. That hold the mattress up. On the bed frame. Now I was like, OK, this is great, I don't know how they got under here, but like, at least I know that they're here. But how do I get them out? Now I have two cats. I have one teeny tiny little girl cat named Frankie. And I have another cat named Declan who's a big orange. Tabby Kitty. ******. Sweet boy, Kitty. And so I was like, well, Frankie. The girl cat, the tiny little girl cat. Frankie's definitely going to be able to get out on her own. Because even though it's kind of tight, like they're they're hiding underneath the slats on the bed frame. Slats are basically like wood boards that are laid flat. That hold up the mattress on the bed frame. I hope you know what I'm talking about, because if not, I'm just Google. What? Mattress, bed frame slats are for me. Just take a second and look that up for me so that you can at least see what I'm talking about. I could tell that Frankie could slip out between the cracks easily, but Declan, my boy cat, is a big boy and I was like, I actually don't know if he's going to be able to get himself out of here. And so. I lure my little tiny Kitty, Frankie, out from the bed using treats. She comes out no problem. She slips through the cracks and she gets out. Easy peasy. No problem. My other cat, Declan, is struggling. He's having a really hard time fully moving under there and I was like, how did he even get under here? Like. How did he slip in here to a point where now he can't get out? And so I start to kind of nudge him. Towards a larger opening where he could possibly slip out. And get out from under the bed. But it's not working. He's stuck under there and I was like. Are you serious? Like I need to get him out right now because this is my son. This is my pride and joy. I'm in physical pain watching him. Try to get out from under the bed in this spot, like, he's not hurt, he's not even being pinched, he's not it. Nothing about where he was was painful for him, but he couldn't really get out and I was like, we need to get him out. So I was like, I need to take the bed frame apart. Like I fully need to remove. The slats that hold up the mattress. I need to remove those and pull him out because that's the only way I can get him out from under the bed, but I don't have like a screwdriver to disassemble this bed frame. So I start digging around this Airbnb trying to find like a toolkit and I find. A few screwdrivers, but none of them fit. Into the nails that are holding this bed frame together and I was like, ****. O. Luckily, my mom was in town. And she's helping me with my move because she's a very organized and smart woman. She's very good at logistical stuff. So whenever I need to do anything that's complicated, I have my mom come into town. So she's in town at this time. She's running some errands herself. I call her. I'm like Declan stuck under the bed. She's like, I'm an hour away. And I was like, **** I don't want to leave him alone. Like, I don't want to leave him alone. He's my pride and joy. I I want to be here with him while he's stuck under the bed. She was like. OK, well, I can go and run and try to find a toolkit so that we can take this beta part, but it's gonna take like over an hour. I was like, you know what? It's fine. I'm just going to stay with him, get home as fast as you can. An hour and a half goes by. Poor Declan is like under there, just so frustrated because he just wanted to get out. But he he had gotten himself into that mess, you know? So I think he was a little bit mad at himself. But anyway, an hour and a half goes by, my mom comes. We unscrew the bed. We take Declan out, he's totally fine. He was ****** *** but he was totally fine. And then that was the end of that. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavours cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes. But there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR OK, last but not least. We have. The story of me getting my passport photo. So recently my passport became expired. This is very unfortunate, because getting your passport renewed is a very complicated situation. Luckily, my mom's in town to help me move, so she was like, I will help you with this process. I was like, thank you, Mom. What a queen you are. Love you. So. She told me that the first step is I need to go. Into a place. That takes passport photos. An example would be. A FedEx Office or a UPS store, basically. Any. Establishment that does printing and shipping. Will probably do passport photos, so I was like, OK, that's not too hard, like whatever. But I was determined to look good in this passport photo because. In the past, all of my ID photos, all of my passport photos have always been. Mediocre. And I was like, I want this passport photo to be a banger. Like, this is going to be my passport for the next 10 years. I want to make it good and so. One Sunday morning I. Do myself up, which I rarely do. OK, I I showered, I blow dried my hair, I did my makeup. I spent like an hour and a half getting ready. I never do that, but I was like, you know what? I really want this passport photo to be good. Let's do it so I get on an outfit. And I go out to this FedEx store to get my passport photo taken. And I walk in and there's a line I was like, no problem, no problem. I wait in a 30 minute line, I get to the front of the line, I say I'm ready for my passport photo. Let's do it. He was like, you can't wear white in your passport photo. I was wearing a white shirt. I was like. This is all I have. Can we just, like try to do you think it'll be like, is there any possible way it could be OK? He was like, you know what? It should be fine. Like as long as you know the photo of your face is good. Like the you wearing white will probably be fine and I was like alright. So I stand against this white wall and. The guy told me he said, OK, you need to be facing straight on. You can't turn your face to the side a little bit, like, you got to be straight on. And I was like, no problem. Meanwhile, I'm feeling a little bit devious, and I was like, I like the right side of my face better. That's my good side in my opinion. So right when he's about to take the photo, I'm going to slightly turn my face a little bit to the left so that the right side of my face is showing a little bit because that's a more flattering angle for me and I want this passport photo to be an absolute slagh so. The dudes counting down, he's like 321. By the time he hit two, my head was turned a little bit to the left. So that you could see my good side, he takes the photo. He's like, ah, this might not be straight on enough. I was like, OK, no problem, let's take it again. So he's counting down 3/2. One, I turned my face a little bit to the side. Just a little bit. That time I was like, just give me a little bit of something. Like, it's fine. He was like, OK, this one's actually fine. I was like, OK, perfect. He shows it to me. I'm like, you know what? It's not my favorite photo ever, but it's pretty damn good. I'm happy with it. He prints it out. I pay for it. I send a photo to my mom. She's like, that's not gonna work. And I was like, you're kidding. And she was like, I just looked online at the passport photo requirements. You need to have your hair out of your face. You can't be wearing white, and your face needs to be straight facing straight on. You are doing none of those things. Your face is tilted to the side. You have hair in your face. I had like, little strands of hair on my face because it's more flattering. Sorry. And I was wearing white, like I did everything wrong. Basically. She was like, honestly. My mom was like, I think you need to take them again. And I was like, OK, well, for one, I'm not going back into this same store because I just went in there. They just took my photos. I'm not going to go back and be like, can I have one more? Like, no, I was not going to do that also. I, like argued with him over multiple things and then he ended up being right. I didn't argue with him, but I. Didn't listen to him and that was my bad. I really should have listened to him like he's a professional, he knows what he's doing. I'm an idiot sometimes, so. The first thing was I needed to change my shirt. So I'm I parked my car. I start digging around. My car to see if I had any clothes in there because I throw clothes in my car. I have so much random **** in my car. By some miracle, I find a black shirt in my car. I was so excited, so I do a little quick change in my car and I go on my maps on my phone and I find a new place that I could take a passport photo at again. I was determined to get my passport photo taken this day because I had spent so long getting ready. I was like, I wanna make it worth it. Like I want to do it right, and I want to make sure that, you know, the passport photo that I do take gets accepted. By the government, because you have to like send it in to the government and then they either accept your photo or decline it, whatever so. I go into a whole new FedEx store across town. And I'm like, hi, I'd like to take my passport photo. We take it it's it's not a good photo. It's not it. I don't like it, but it's it's fine. It fits all the requirements. My face is straight on, I have no pieces of hair on my face and I'm wearing a black shirt. It's perfect. So a few days later I bring in my passport photo into this. Company that basically helps you get passports quicker because normally you have to wait for like six months to get a passport, but I need mine quite quickly. So I'm going through another company that can help me expedite the process so I go into this business. Company establishment, whatever. And I'm like, here's all my paperwork for my passport, here's my passport photo. They take one look at the passport photo and they're like, this is not going to work. And I'm like, why? Why? This passport photo is perfect, like, I did everything, right? They're like, no. There's a little shadow. On the side of your there's a little shadow on the right side of your face. And they're not going to, the government's not going to like that. We need to retake the photo right now. And I was like, well, we're going to retake it right now and they're like, yeah, we have all the. Cameras and equipment to to retake the passport photo here. And I was like. Are you serious? My hair was in a bun. There were like little baby hairs flying everywhere. I had just woken up like an hour prior. My face is still puffy. I was like. I spent an entire Sunday afternoon getting ready, looking my absolute best to go get my passport photo, and now all of those have been declined. All just for me to end up with a passport photo. That's actually worse than any other like ID, passport photo that I've ever taken because I just woke up an hour ago and I look like ***. We take the photo. I look like ****. I look like ****. But I was like, you know what? Whatever, it's fine. So we take that photo. And I'm like, all right, we can just use that one. But then. Today, actually. I went back into this passport. Expediting services building. And I was like, is there any way, like, can I take my photo one more time today? I still look like **** but I look a little bit better today. Is there any way we can take it or is it too late? They were like actually we haven't submitted the photo yet, so you can take another one where you take another one today, it's a little bit better. I still look like ****. But that entire process made me almost lose my mind. But anyway. I think that that's all I got for today. Those are all of my recent unfortunate events. Listen, none of them are a big deal. Like the stuff that got stolen out of my car, all of that's replaceable. It doesn't matter. It's totally fine. My cats getting stuck on the under the bed. Whatever I saved them, they're still. Alive and healthy, everything's fine. Me ******** the bed. It was a bonding experience between me and the person that I was staying in that hotel room with, and it's a funny story that I can one day tell my children. Umm. My sushi from Whole Foods being frozen, it's fine. I ended up. Ordering something even better, which was. My Emma's fire bowl from Kava, which is like literally my bowl that I created. From my mind. Which nothing is better than that. And that ended up being great. Everything ended up being fine. You know what? It's OK. But I just thought I was like, that's just how the past two months have been for me. It's like. The most random unfortunate events have been happening to me. I'm just grateful that I can laugh about all of them now. In the moment they felt like major inconveniences and made me upset. Now I'm able to laugh and. It's all going to be OK. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed. Thank you so much for listening. Go check out my cava bowl if you want. It's available at. All cava restaurants or go pick up some spicy hummus from Whole Foods. Carvis spicy hummus, to be exact. You can subscribe to anything goes on any platform that you stream podcasts. You can leave a review on any platform that you stream podcasts you can follow anything goes at Ag podcast, on Twitter, or. At anything goes on Instagram, you can check out my coffee company I've been sipping on a cold brew from. My coffee company for this entire episode. I've been drinking a little. Cold brew? Actually black today. I just have black cold brew today. It's delicious. I made it with the cold brew elephant. Chamberlain Coffee, cold brew bags. Can't go wrong. Check that out if you want. I really appreciate you guys coming back every week and listening. I love you all very much. I appreciate you all very much and we will. Talk more and hang out more next week. Bye.