Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.
Fri, 27 May 2022 04:14
guess who just turned 21 years old? me. and you know what that means. i can legally drink in the usa. it’s nice…i mean, it has some pros, for sure, but it also has some cons. it’s also a little overwhelming to figure out your relationship with alcohol, especially in social situations and with your mental health. so i wanted to share some things with you that i wish i’d known before i started drinking…my thoughts on the positives and negatives of alcohol and even a few drinking tips. if you guys are also new to drinking, or even if you’ve been drinking for a while, maybe this will help. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Tad, these are delicious. You need to show them. You should, mom. No, seriously, let's set you up on Shopify. It's easy. I always knew you would build your own business guys. Yum. When you're ready to bring your idea to life, build it on Shopify. Sign up for a free 14 day trial at shopify.com/offer 22, shopify.com/offer 22. Hello. Before we start today's episode, I just wanted to let everybody know that I am not a licensed medical professional. Those of you who listen to my podcast frequently definitely know that. But to those of you who might be new. I am not a licensed medical professional. In addition to that, all of the things I'm going to be discussing today. Are based on my own personal experience and my own personal opinions, and so take everything with a grain of salt, as you should with everything that you consume on the Internet anyway, including me. Last but not least, I know that alcohol can be a tough subject for some people, so if this topic makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip out on this episode. No hard feelings. I love you forever, no matter what. And on that note, shall we begin. Guess who just turned 21 years old? Me. And you want to know what that means? In America, I can drink alcohol. Yep, I am now legally allowed to consume alcohol in America. I was legally allowed to drink alcohol in Europe when I was 18. Listen, let's just say that on my 21st birthday I did not have my first sip of alcohol. Let's just get that out of the way. I'm not claiming that, OK? I'm not claiming that I had never had a sip of alcohol before my 21st birthday, because that would be a lie. I had, in fact, consumed alcohol prior to my 21st birthday. But it's nice that now I can legally drink alcohol in America. This is a big deal because I've been excluded. From a lot of activities over the past few years because. Over the past few years, I've been the only. Person in my life that I'm close to that isn't over the age of 21. All of my friends. Majority of my family is over the age of 21 and so. All of them have been going to the club, going to the bar. Having a glass of wine with dinner, doing all this stuff, or shall I say, having a glass of wine with dinner. Legally, you know, all of them have been doing this stuff with no stress. And I've been excluded from this because I I'm always the youngest and it's a relief for me and for everybody around me that I'm now finally 21 and can legally participate in the activities that I've been missing out on. Allegedly. You know what I'm saying? It makes my life easier than now. I can drink, OK? But in today's episode I wanted to talk about alcohol because now I'm 21 and I can talk about things like alcohol. Prior to now, it was a little bit weird because it was like. Is she really allowed to know about that? And whether I did or not, I wasn't allowed to talk about it. Now I'm 21 and legally I'm allowed to consume it, which means I can now also talk about it. So today I'm going to be going over. My. Thoughts? On alcohol what I think the pros and cons are, and I'm going to give you guys my advice. On how to drink alcohol in a way that is the best for your mind, body and soul, because alcohol is one of those things that's quite complicated. There are definitely some pros to drinking alcohol. There are some things about it that are pleasant and kind of harmless, but there are also some things about alcohol. In fact, there are a lot of things about alcohol. That are really awful, and I think that that's probably pretty obvious to most people, but there are some negative effects of alcohol that I feel like aren't really talked about enough. And those are the things I'm. Specifically going to be touching on today or most heavily going to be touching on today. So here it is. Pros? Cons? And advice on alcohol. This is the first of many rated R anything goes episodes. Because now I'm allowed to make rated R content because I'm 21 years old. Prior to now, I could basically talk about Legos, Play-doh. Bouncy houses? Apple juice. That was about it, but now that I'm 21 and I'm a big girl. I'm gonna start talking about sex, drugs, alcohol, rock'n'roll all of this stuff anyway. I'm gonna shut up. So I'm going to start out today. With talking about the positive things that can come from drinking alcohol, now I'm starting out with this because there's not that many. There's not that many. Positive sides to drinking alcohol, but there are a few, so let's go through them. The first positive effect of alcohol is that it definitely makes you more social. From my experience, if I have a drink or two at a social event, I am so much more excited about being social. At times when I will have a drink or two, it will almost make me feel like my social battery just got filled up a little bit, my social battery being my energy. For being social, how much energy do I have in me to be social? That's my social battery. A little bit of alcohol can. Temporarily, and almost falsely, fill up your social battery now. This can be a good thing if, for whatever reason, you need to be in a social situation or you think that being in a social situation would be good for you even though you might not be in the mood for it. It can be a good thing because sometimes being social is just what you need, you know? Maybe you're going through a really hard time and you're kind of locking yourself away in your home and it's kind of getting out of control because you're starting to get worse, anxiety and your depression starting to get worse and blah blah blah. Because you're isolating yourself and you're like, wow, I need to go and be social. Maybe having a drink and being social with people is exactly what you need to kind of gain perspective again. And in that case. The way that alcohol can kind of loosen you up might actually be in a way a positive thing. Obviously, as long as you're drinking responsibly and not too much, right? Because when you drink too much, then nothing good comes of that. So then it kind of. Eliminates all of the positive reactions that it may have had. I should probably say this for all of the pros of drinking alcohol. Is that the only time that there can be a pro to drinking alcohol is if you are? Drinking a responsible amount. There's really no positive repercussion of drinking too much. Ever. Ever. It usually only ends negative, and if it doesn't end negative, it ends neutral where it's like nobody got hurt. But also you're definitely not better off, so all of the pros I'm about to mention. Only apply if you're not overdoing it. And you're only having a few drinks and you're still mentally there. You're mentally there still, you know what I'm saying? The second. Pro is that. It can obviously make a boring experience less boring. Now this is a good thing. Kinda. It's a good thing, because obviously in life, having fun is one of the most beautiful parts of life, right? So anytime you're having fun, usually that's a good thing. So I want to say that this is a pro of drinking alcohol, that it can turn a boring situation into a fun and possibly funny situation. Let's say you're at a party and. The vibes off, you know what I mean? Everybody's kind of tired, nobody's laughing, people aren't being social. You get everybody a drink or two and everybody's laughing, talking, hugging, loving each other, playing games, giggling like whatever, in theory. And that is a good thing. But at the same time, it's kind of also a con because you don't want to ever rely on alcohol to have a good time. So I guess I should say. That alcohol turning a boring situation into a slightly more fun situation. Is only a pro of drinking alcohol if it kind of happened by coincidence. People were having drinks and then they just happened to have fun. And if there weren't drinks present, it might have been boring. Does anyone know any different? No, because the drinks had been flowing since the moment everybody showed up. It's a negative thing if everybody's really bored and then decides to start drinking, and then that becomes a habit where every time everybody's hanging out and it gets boring. It's like, oh, let's drink now, because then it kind of starts teetering on. Not using alcohol correctly because you're using it in depending on it for a good time, and you never want to depend on anything for a good time. That goes for. Drugs and alcohol. That's a bad sign if you're not having fun without alcohol or without drugs. Then there needs to be some shifts in life. You know, maybe there needs to be an integration of more activities at your social gatherings, etc. That's a sign that there's an imbalance in your social interactions if alcohol is required for it to be fun. So I'm going to clarify that whole statement by saying alcohol should never really be used as a Band-Aid for a bad time, and rather it should be used to elevate an already good time. Do you see what I'm saying? And maybe if it's used every once in a while to Band-Aid a bad time, that's fine, but if that's happening on a frequent basis, then there's an issue. The next pro of alcohol is that it tastes good with food sometimes. This mainly applies to wine. Wine is one of those things that is kind of a delicacy, right? There are a lot of alcohols that are a delicacy. You know, there's. Really expensive bottles of whiskey. Like, whatever. There's like a lot of yeah, you got. I'm saying it's something that can elevate your dining experience my dad swears by. A glass of red wine with his dinner every once in a while because he's like, this will really elevate the meal. You know, it complements the flavors, blah, blah, blah. It's really, you know, it also makes you feel nice and warm because alcohol kind of makes you feel warm and a little bit relaxed. If you're somebody who has a positive reaction to alcohol. Not everybody does, but majority of people have like a warm and relaxing reaction to having a little bit of alcohol. And so, you know, the complementing flavors of the alcohol with food combined with its potentially relaxing effects can lead to a really enjoyable dinnertime experience. Now that's great. You know, like that's a great element of drinking alcohol is. How it can? Just add to a meal. It also adds to a dinner time experience or possibly even a brunch experience because if you're brunching or dinner ring with people. Possibly a little bit of alcohol could loosen you up and make you want to talk more and be more social, which can make the brunch or dinner a little bit more spicy and interesting because you're more apt to talk about stuff. Because let me tell you, at least for me, alcohol makes me talk a lot. Don't know why, but it does, and I know it does for a lot of other people too. So yeah, another positive side to it is that it can kind of add to. A meal in the last positive side is that it can kind of alleviate nervousness at Times Now again with this. Positive. Pro of alcohol, it can also become negative if it starts to get overused. But alcohol can help to relax you when you're a little bit nervous. Let's say you're feeling nervous for first date. Having a glass of wine while you're getting ready might help soothe the nerves a little bit now. In theory, you're only probably going on a first date every once in a while, so having a glass of wine to help alleviate those nerves is a normal and healthy response. I would I would argue I don't know. But if you're starting to drink alcohol every time you're nervous for something that's not good, that's when this becomes a con. But if you're just using it every once in a while when you're nervous, and maybe you're nervous about something that is kind of inconsequential, right? Like a first date. Then I think it's actually a positive thing. Whereas if you're drinking alcohol because, you know, you're nervous about something that's actually consequential, like you didn't pay your taxes. So instead of thinking about that, you're like drinking. That's when it's bad, right? And I think that that's a pretty clear. An obvious sort of distinction, but yeah, it can, like, help you relax if you, like, wanna go on a first date or if you're, like, going to a big event or you're gonna go to your high school reunion. I don't know, right? That's a positive thing. So it's definitely fair to say that there are some pros to drinking alcohol, right? Like there are some, there are some positive things that can come of drinking alcohol. Unfortunately, through my few years of experience, there are a lot more cons. Now, before I go into the cons of drinking alcohol, a lot of cons are obvious. I'm not gonna go into those because I feel like those are obvious. You know what I mean? Like, obviously there are a lot of. Negative side effects for your body. You know your physical body. Also, drinking alcohol can become dangerous. On so many levels, if you drink too much, it's dangerous for your physical body. If you make stupid decisions while you're drinking, it can be dangerous for yourself and everybody around you. I mean, it's there's a lot, a lot of really, really serious cons to drinking alcohol. You can become addicted to it. You know, there's a lot of very, very, very serious cons of drinking alcohol. I'm not going to talk about those today, but instead I'm going to talk about the cons that I feel like aren't talked about enough. Just because for people who are maybe my age and just starting to drink for the first time in their life, or your life if you're if this applies to you, I think these are the things I wish somebody would have told me before I started drinking. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new free form docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. 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Any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know, this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. 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Not on a daily basis, but when I'm drinking on a weekly basis it can start to slow me down. I I feel like I'm not getting as much done because. A lot of my free time is spent trying to. Rest off the fatigue from the drinking, and even if I don't drink a lot, it I don't even have to drink a lot. To feel the physical effects of drinking and. I mean, obviously gives you a hangover. But. It's actually, like, less obvious than that sometimes. Like if I'm drinking on a weekly basis, I'll just feel a lot more tired all the time, but I'll never feel like. Obviously hungover, where like I have a headache and I'm super dehydrated and I like physically like can't move or get out of bed. It's not like that. It's like just overall I feel more tired, I feel more fatigued and then if I go like a week, two weeks without having a drink. I feel like so good and I feel so fresh and I wake up in the morning and feel like ready for the day and I just feel so much more alive on a day-to-day basis. Whereas if I'm drinking more frequently it can kind of slow me down and it takes a while to fully recover. Like I I need to take a week or two off completely. Before I feel normal again, and so that's definitely a negative side effect. Another negative side effect is that it makes my anxiety. So much worse, when I'm drinking on a regular basis, my anxiety gets so bad it is crazy. And when I say on a regular basis, I mean, let's say one to three times a week, and when I say one to three times a week, I mean like. Having a drink at dinner? Or maybe it's like, I'm going to a music festival so I'm like drinking more frequently. Like, whatever. Like when I'm drinking frequently for like a week. Plus my anxiety gets so bad. And it gets bad, not just the morning after I've had a few drinks. It stays bad for like 2 weeks. After the last sip of alcohol I had. So let's say I drank all weekend one weekend because I was at a music festival. For the next two weeks after that, my anxiety is going to be elevated. I'm going to be 50 times more paranoid, 50 times more self-conscious, and just 50 times more anxious in general. And if I go about two weeks without drinking, that anxiety will completely go away. And I return to my like baseline where I'm just not anxious. I feel good, I feel normal. I get anxiety a little bit, but it's, you know, more of a fleeting feeling is something that comes and goes. Rather than it being a constant when I'm in a routine of drinking, it's a constant. And it's really, really hard for me. It sucks, right? Because in the moment when I'm having a drink or two, I'm like, this is great. I feel loose. I feel warm. I'm dancing. Suddenly I'm dancing. Suddenly I'm laughing. Or, Oh my God, this glass of wine tastes so good with my dinner, you know, like, this is so good. I love this. I feel so classy with my little glass of wine and Paris, whatever. Like, it's great when it's happening, and then it's like. For weeks after that, I feel like ****. Speaking of feeling like **** when I'm in a routine of drinking alcohol, I can also get really depressed. It really, really affects my depression. It worsens it, and it's similar to how it affects my anxiety, where it will make me feel, I would say 50% more depressed than I do on a daily basis for about 2 weeks. After I drank and then after that two weeks, I returned to a more normal state where, you know, I still struggle with anxiety, I still struggle with depression, I still struggle with those things, but it's a lot less and it's a lot more controllable for me. It's I don't know, you know, and I didn't know before I started drinking. That. It would have such profound effects on my anxiety and depression. And it actually took some time for me to figure out because not everybody has that issue. And there might be some of you out there that can, you know, drink all weekend and then wake up on Monday and be like, what's up, *******? I'm feeling happy and healthy and ready for the day, not me. I I do not have that experience. And I mean, I envy those of you who don't have that experience because I'd love to be able to have a drink. And not. Have serious repercussions, but I do. And so, you know, it's been a really difficult process for me because, you know, now I'm finally 21 and I can drink legally here in the US, obviously, as I mentioned, I've been legal in Europe for quite a while now. And yeah, I've had alcohol before. You know what I'm saying? Allegedly, I don't know, like, like trying not to get in trouble. But what I'm what I'm trying to say is. Now that I'm 21, I've been really thinking about alcohol and how I am or am not going to make it a part of my life. You know what I mean? Because I've gone on this journey with it. Before I was even legal in America. But whatever, I've gone on this journey with it where I? Have enjoyed it, truly. Enjoyed the social elements of it. Enjoyed the way that it can elevate a meal. Enjoyed the way that it can even make me feel at times. Whether that's a good thing to say or not, I don't know. I mean, why do people drink alcohol? Because it makes you feel good, right? I've enjoyed the effects of alcohol. I've enjoyed it. But the two weeks or so after I drink the way I feel is so bad that, you know, I've had to really think about how I can approach this now that I'm an adult and I can, if I want, have a glass of wine every night if I want, I can. You know, it's like now that I'm 21, the responsibility is put on me. I can do whatever I want in regards to alcohol. And I've been having sort of a. Existential crisis about it because I'm like, I enjoy it, but also it's effects on me are really negative and so I'm trying to figure out whether or not it's worth it. And it's been really hard because the pros that I mentioned earlier, although they are loaded pros if you will, because they're not as simple as being like this is good. It's like more complicated than that because it's like, this is good as long as you're not overdoing it and as long as you know you have a designated driver and as long as. You're in a safe environment and like, you know, there's a lot. It's a loaded pro, right, shall I say? Those pros are still pros, and they are things that make alcohol enjoyable for me personally and for millions of other people. But the cons are crazy. In, in its effect on my mental state especially, is very serious and not good. And the main reason why I wanted to talk about this was because, you know, there's probably a lot of you out there, especially young people who are just starting to drink. And you might notice that you're feeling really depressed and anxious after you drink. And you might be like, what's going on? You know, like, is this normal? And you might not even link it to the alcohol. And so you might just be thinking that you're. Feeling depressed or you're feeling anxious and that's just the way that it is. But alcohol can very much make those feelings worse. And so if you're someone like me who's prone to anxiety and depression and things like that. I really recommend, you know, you kind of take note of how alcohol is affecting you in the weeks following. Even because I was kind of in denial at 1st that it was exacerbating my negative mental health issues, I was in denial of it at first because I was like, there's no way, you know, like it can't be making it worse, like, because it's so fun when I have a drink, you know, most of the time it's fun anyway, shall I say. It's not always fun, but I would say 9 times out of 10 it's fun. You know, I was like, how is it possible that this could be bad, but it is. And I think it's interesting because I feel like all. I'm about to go off on a tangent here that's going to sound crazy possibly, but just bear with me. I feel like in life, all good things, all fun things, all things that seem almost too good to be true. Always come at a price and the price and the might not be immediate but. All good things come with a price, I would say with alcohol. The price is that it might negatively affect your mental health. Or, you know, something really negative and dangerous could happen when under the influence of alcohol. That's another price that you may pay. It seems like this cheat code. You know, having a drink or having three is like a cheat code to a good time. But. It's just it's unfortunate that in life it's not that simple. And everybody's price that they might pay for alcohol is going to be different. For me, it's that it exacerbates my is it exacerbate? Sounds a little bit too close to the word masturbate. I feel like I'm saying it wrong. Exacerbate. Is that right? Exacerbate. OK, exacerbate. To make worse. That's what that word means anyway. For me, the price I pay for drinking alcohol is that it exacerbates my anxiety and depression. For you, it might be that. It can make you angry and it can make you start fights with people. For other people, it might be that it makes them really emotional and they just start crying if they drink too much. For some people it might be that they make really ******* stupid decisions. For some people it might be that they reach out to friends or ex partners and send things that they will regret in the morning. For everybody, there's a negative effect of alcohol, even if you're on your best behavior. You know, even if you don't overdo it and you handle yourself with the utmost of grace. There's probably going to be a negative side effect in there somewhere, because, as I said in life, nothing. So perfect ever comes for free. And alcohol, in a way, is kind of perfect. It's this sometimes nasty tasting juice that makes you feel good and calm and kind of makes you forget about. Things that you don't want to think about. I don't know. But anyway, let's move on to another con of drinking alcohol. I have more. There's a serious issue that I already kind of touched on, but that I want to touch on more, and that's becoming socially dependent on alcohol. OK, it's easy to do. It's very easy to do. And I personally have struggled with this a little bit, I'm gonna be honest. I've found myself. Let's say let's give an example. After. Maybe. Maybe I'm in Paris for Paris Fashion Week and there's a social event one night. There have been times in my life when I felt like I couldn't socialize without a drink in like that type of setting. And obviously I was allowed to be having a drink because I was in Paris. Love you. And that's, you know, that's not a good feeling because you never want to feel like you need something pretty much ever in life unless it's like obviously. A medication or whatever like is something that is like that serious is different, but I'm talking about things that are, again, inconsequential. Alcohol, people, even. At times you never want to feel like you need things you only want to feel like. Things. Elevate your life. But they aren't necessary. Alcohol is a good example. Alcohol should just take something that's good and make it better. In theory, people in your life should not make your life good. They should make your life better, right? By this I mean that your life or the social event that you're going to. Should be good. In your eyes, whether or not you're drinking alcohol or whether or not you have certain people in your life. If you need alcohol for social events to be fun or you need people, certain people in your life for your life to be good. Then there's an issue, right? And obviously we're not talking about feeling dependent on people right now, but I'm using that as an example because I feel like it's a great one I've struggled with. Feeling like I socially need alcohol in my life for periods of time, for sure. And here's what happens when you start relying on alcohol. Socially. You start to lose confidence in your social skills and it can make you lose self esteem. When I have been in periods of my life where I felt like I needed alcohol in order to be social, when I wasn't drinking alcohol and I was just completely sober and I was social, I felt less confident in my ability to be social. Like when I'm in the grocery store and I'm talking to. The cashier. I'm less confident in that type of interaction. Or if one of my friends even calls me on the phone and we haven't talked in awhile, I would feel a lot more nervous about that conversation because I was like, oh, we haven't talked in a while, what's it going to be like? What's it going to be like? I didn't feel as confident in myself. Socially. Without having alcohol in my system and now. Let me tell you that I was only drinking alcohol socially occasionally. This would be like whenever it was available for me. And allowed for me, but I was using it to help me socially and I was kind of relying on it. And that trickled into my daily life. Even though I was only doing it occasionally. And I think that's the worst part. I lost faith in my social skills. Because I felt like I was socially my best when I was drinking. That's not good, you know? But it doesn't need to be that way. You can still socialize. And drink. And not become socially dependent on it. It's kind of a conversation you have to have with yourself when you're having a drink at a social event. You kind of have to ask yourself, am I drinking because I need it, or am I drinking because I just want to elevate this experience a little bit and I'm in the mood and **** it. You know, that's a conversation only you can have with yourself, unfortunately. Or maybe fortunately. Because you're your own bestie, in theory. I hate myself, but I'm trying to be my own bestie as much as possible. I don't know. Becoming socially reliant on it is a very. It's a there's a very fine line. Because. Obviously it's very enjoyable to drink socially, but. You just have to be honest with yourself on about whether or not you're relying on it. And that's a really hard thing to do. It's a really hard conversation to have with yourself. You know, it's hard to hold yourself accountable in that way. And eventually I noticed myself kind of feeling like I needed to have a drink when I would go to an event, say, in Europe and whatever I, I, I would feel like I needed to have a drink. And at a certain point I realized I was like. I don't think that's good. Number one, I don't think it's good. It definitely something seems off about that. But also I'm having negative repercussions the next morning and for two weeks following when I drink, so I should probably take a little bit of time off. And so I did. I took a lot of time off from drinking at all, even at social events, and I learned a lot about myself. I will tell you that I learned a lot about myself and I grew my confidence. Back socially. I don't know what it is, but when I'm not drinking. Or I'm very rarely drinking. I consider rarely like. Once a month. I'm just so much more confident in who I am. I feel so much more connected to who I am. And I should mention that the only substance that I use personally. Is alcohol. I do not smoke weed. I do not and cannot participate in marijuana related activities. So when I'm not drinking alcohol, I'm fully sober, right? Like I'm not doing anything because I don't smoke weed and I don't do anything else. So alcohol is kind of the only thing that I participate in that. Affects my brain like that, you know what I'm saying? Takes me out of my normal baseline state, and when I'm not drinking, I feel so. Like, weirdly self aware and like spiritually connected to myself and I just feel really good. I just socially feel more confident in any scenario. I feel like invincible socially because I'm like, I could go to a dinner party with 15 people I don't know and not have a drink, and I feel confident in that because I've trained myself to feel confident in uncomfortable social situations by not allowing myself to have that drink. And now, if I want to have a drink at a social setting, I'm just drinking it to elevate the experience. I'm not drinking it to solve the problem. And I found that this is it's just such a better structure for me. Now. Listen for everybody. It's going to be different. I'm just sharing my experience. What you do, I do not judge you. I love you. You can do whatever you want. Even if you **** ** and you maybe, you know, even if you're ******* up now in regards to your, you know, in regards to alcohol, I don't. I'm not judging you as long as you're safe and the people around you are safe. I'm not judging you, and I'm just sharing my experience to hopefully give you some Peace of Mind, maybe give you a little bit of advice, share my experience, and maybe even just point out the obvious. Maybe this whole episode is just me pointing out the obvious. That's fair enough, but we're just having a conversation right now, so stop putting me in a box. OK, maybe I am pointing out the obvious, but who cares? We're talking about Macy's again. 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Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for fallcheckoutmacys.com, that's macys.com. You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom emmathatsdrinkcirkul.com/emma to get this limited time offer today. Again, that's drinkcircle.com/emma. So I think this all comes back to this dilemma that I'm facing right now, where on one hand I enjoy alcohol, on the other hand, without it. OK, let me rephrase. On one hand, I enjoy drinking alcohol in the moment. It's really fun. It's great as long as I don't overdo it, which I rarely do. I have a great time and it's really fun in the moment, I. I love it, it's great. But on the other hand. I feel so much happier and better when I'm not drinking on a daily basis. For the weeks following me having drinks I feel better. I feel more confident socially and just in general. It's so weird. I don't know why psychologically, when I'm in a phase where I'm drinking, I just feel so self-conscious. I I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's maybe an effect of my anxiety being worsened. Or if it's because I. Feel less capable socially because I had relied on it for however many instances when I was drinking socially, I don't. I don't know what it is, but it just it makes me feel insecure when I'm drinking a lot. I don't know. I don't know what it is. In overall, I just avoid a lot of potential bad things that can happen when you drink alcohol by not drinking it. And so this is a dilemma that I'm facing right now and it's really tough for me. I don't know, I don't know what the perfect balance is. I feel like right now in life, I'm really trying to find balance in so many different areas. I'm trying to find balance in how I can incorporate drinking possibly into my life in a way that's positive and fun and. Has no negative repercussions. I'm trying to figure out balance in my social life, how much alone time is healthy and how much is too much, because sometimes I am alone too much, and then sometimes I hang out with people too much. And I'm trying to figure out what that balance is. And I'm trying to figure out balance when it comes to what's being disciplined with myself, when it comes to say work, for example, what's being too disciplined and what's not being disciplined. Enough. There's all this that I'm trying to figure out in my life right now, and I think alcohol is and and just even substances in general that are illegal, like in California. Marijuana. Weed. I don't know. Marijuana. Who the **** calls it marijuana? I don't know. Nobody buying age. Sorry. I have mucus in my sinus like weed is legal here. I don't know, like I'm trying to figure out why. I mean, I I can't personally, I know. That I cannot consume marijuana products that contain THC. I know that for a fact. If you want a story time, I can tell you the story time. Maybe in next episode or something. If you're interested, let me know. I'm actually going to tell the story anyway, so you don't really actually have to let me know. I have this like habit of being like, let me know if you want to hear this, but I know deep down that I'm going to do it anyway, so I don't know why I did that anyway, but yeah, I I already know that. I. And participate in that. So, like, alcohol is kind of the only thing and I'm just trying to figure out like where, how that's gonna play a part in my life and it's definitely something that is. Taking a lot of time for me to figure out, and that's for sure. I really don't know, you know, like what the perfect balance is. And and maybe there isn't one. And that might be a discovery that I find along this journey in my personal life. Like, I might figure out that there's just no way for me to drink alcohol in a way that is just a net neutral effect on my life, right? It doesn't have a super negative or super positive effect on my life. And that's what I'm trying to find. Is there a way to do that with alcohol? But I think that the way that it affects my anxiety and my depression is just going to. End up making it something that I just can't do. And that's actually really sad for me, genuinely, because I mean, I I love making a drink and having it by the pool and hanging out with friends like, I ******* love that. I love it. And I don't feel like it's something that I, you know, am using in a way that is like. Overdoing it or bad, it's **** it's so hard. So anyway, if you're going through a similar dilemma, just know you're not alone. You know it's really tough. It's really tough, but I will say right now as we speak, I'm moving into. A new house. I bought a house like a year ago. And I've been remodeling it for the past year and I've been living in. A rental house in the meantime, while I was, you know, renovating, rebuilding this house. And one of the first things I did. Was. Put together a little bar area. Because I really wanted to have a bar, but now I'm like, do I even want to have a bar? I can still have a bar and just not drink. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I'm you. You get what I'm dealing with right now. Maybe based on my explanation, you deal with, you know what I'm dealing with here. It's tough and I think a lot of people probably go through this. Anyway, to end off this episode, I'm gonna give a few drinking tips. That I have for those of you. Who? Either are just starting to drink? Maybe you? Just turned that age where it's time to start drinking. Whatever. Or maybe you're just somebody who. Isn't too savvy with alcohol. I'm going to give some advice, and I'm not saying I'm the most savvy, but I I think I'm. I think I got a pretty good handle on it. Personally, at my ripe age of 21, I don't know. I feel like I have a pretty good grip. I'm like, what? What? What the good the best practices are. My first tip is you gotta take it slow. You have to like I've made the mistake before of drinking too much, too fast, too soon. Immediate crash into the ground and you know it defeats the whole purpose. Because let me tell you, you're not your night's not going to be fun anymore. I have a tip. If you are like me and you like to have something to sip on when you're at a social event or maybe you're at dinner, let's say you slurp down your first alcoholic drink really fast. Order the same drink, but order it virgin, so order it without the alcohol. As your second drink. I do this all the time. Except my my drink of choice is a vodka soda. Fun fact, my drink of choice is a vodka club soda with limes squeezed into it. It's fresh. It's refreshing. I love sparkling water anyway. It's like sparkling water with lime, except it's a little bit spicy. It's the only difference anyway. Order the same drink that you got, but order it with no alcohol in it as your second drink to break it up a little bit if you're like, oh, I want another drink, but you know that if you keep going with alcoholic drinks, you're going to start feeling a little bit too crazy too soon. Order the same thing, which is order without alcohol. So, like, for me, when I'm at dinner, let's say I order a vodka soda. I slurp it down so fast it's gone. And I really want another one. I'm like, ooh, I want another one, but I'm like, ooh, it's too soon. I order the same thing, a club soda with lime, just without the vodka. Let's say you're really into a rum and coke. You love rum and coke. That's your that's your go to drink. Just order a coke, you get. You get my vibe here. It gives you the feeling that you're still participating in this evening of socializing, drinking, and living your best life. It still makes you feel like you're participating, but it gives you a little bit of a break. That's a really good tip. I would really recommend that, because I think a big reason why people drink too much too fast is because they want to have something in their hand, right? And I get that. So you know, you can just order the virgin version of your drink. My next piece of advice is you need to make a plan before you start. Drinking. Let's say you're going to a party. Let's say you're going to something like that. Know how you're getting home before you go out, because I've made the mistake before of going out and not having a plan. And getting to wherever I am, you know, wherever the party is. And then, you know, the end of the evening rolls around and you know, me and all the friends are a little tipsy. And we're like, how the **** are we going to get home? And we try to call an Uber? And there is no reception. And then we have to walk like, you know, a mile to get reception so that we can Uber home. Things like that have happened, OK? And it's not fun. And when you're drunk, things like that are dangerous. It's not good. You don't want to be out and about. ******* frolicking in the street when you're drunk. And obviously, as we all know, we're not getting in the car, right? We're not getting in the ******* car. None of nobody who's drinking is getting in the car. We know that that's. We know that. So you know, you have to have a plan for a ride that's safe. So figure out if you're going to be able to have reception. And if not, you might need a designated driver, somebody who is doing the Lord's work by going out with you guys, hanging out and then driving you home after. Because you don't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. OK. Not good. My last piece of advice is. Never, ever feel like you need to drink because other people are trying to get you to drink. Now, I'm not saying this to, like, demonize people who are like, come on, have a drink because. I think that to a certain extent, you know, that can be an act of hospitality in a sense. Let's say people are having you over and they're like, ohh, relax, like, let me, let me give you a drink. Let me make you a drink. I I think 9 out of 10 times there is no negative intent by anybody who's offering you a drink. But I've made the mistake of not being in the mood to drink, not really being in the mental state where I'm in. I'm in a place where drinking is the right idea and I let people. Serve me a drink because I don't want to be rude and decline their offer. The truth is, is that when someone's offering you a drink, you can absolutely say no. I have said yes despite not really wanting a drink so many times, and it's not good because this kind of relates to an episode I made a few weeks or months back about being a yes man. And letting people sort of take advantage of you, this kind of takes. This is kind of similar to this. If you want more on this topic, they'll listen to that episode. But this is less about letting people walk all over you and more about being a yes man and saying yes to everything just to take the path of least resistance, right? You can say no when somebody offers you a drink. If you're not feeling it, say no. Just be like, Oh my God, I I'm not in the mood right now, but, like, thank you so much. Or not even say that. That's kind of weird. Don't say that. I'm not in the mood. Say to something like, Oh no, thank you. You know, I'm good right now. It's that easy. But I always say I always used to say yes because I felt bad or weird about saying no to people. And and you don't need to do that. You don't need to drink if you don't feel like it. Period. End of story. Don't just say yes because you know you're trying to accept somebody's active hospitality. They will be fine. If you say no, say no. Don't force yourself to drink just to fit into a social setting. Don't fit in just to please the host of who invited you over. Only drink when you really want to and when you feel like it is going to be a positive experience for you. And obviously there's going to be mistakes that you make in life. There are going to be moments when you say yes and you have a drink just because you know you want to. Get into the room where you're socializing. You know there's going to be moments like that. There's gonna be moments when you drink too much. They're gonna be moments when you **** ** while you're drinking. There are gonna be those moments. It's inevitable and it happens to everybody. My advice is do your best to avoid those things and try to learn from your mistakes when you make them. That's the best that you can do. I think that demonizing alcohol is the wrong approach. I think a lot of people look at alcohol and are like, no. That is, you know, no, you know, like people who drink, like, there's a lot of judgment about people who drink alcohol sometimes. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's kind of a polarizing topic. Obviously, there are some people who don't drink for, say, religious reasons or because maybe they have a family history of struggles with alcohol. You know, there are so many reasons why not drinking alcohol is an automatic choice for people. And that is. Something that does not need to be discussed because that's somebody's personal choice and decision. But on the other hand, you know, there are some people who enjoy alcohol and want to participate in drinking alcohol and that that is also, you know, a choice that you can make. And it's kind of nobody's business, right, whether or not someone drinks alcohol. But I think that demonizing it right and looking at it as. Something that's dirty and disgusting and people who drink are, are this or are that. I think that, that whole narrative. Is not productive. And kind of useless and I think that it is only harmful and I bring this up because. I I have known people in my life who have. Been super judgmental about people who drank alcohol and who have judged me for drinking alcohol and even like, even if I was drinking completely responsibly. And because I've I've encountered people in my life who have. Made me feel like I was a bad person for drinking. I've felt a lot of guilt about drinking. Or about, like, **** **** I've done when I when I drank before. Like, you know, maybe drinking too much and, like, throwing up. I don't know. Or like telling an embarrassing story about myself like something like that. I felt a lot of guilt throughout my life about drinking because of, like, just people I've known in my life that I've just, like, made me feel guilty about it. And the the conclusion that I've come to now is that, number one, it's nobody's business. #2. There's no reason. To feel guilty about drinking instead, I think the approach should be if you are, you know, making mistakes while you're drinking. Instead of feeling guilt about it, you should feel. And inspiration to do better next time. And you should be learning from it. If you're not learning from it, then yeah, maybe there's some judgment that that is reasonable from your peers or even from yourself. It's necessary judgment. But if you're just experimenting with drinking as a young person and you're doing it responsibly, there's nothing to feel guilty about and it's nothing to beat yourself up over. I don't know if this was just something that I dealt with. Specifically because I just grew up around friends that like were really anti drinking. And had, like, nailed it into my head that, like, drinking makes you a loser. For so many years. I heard that right. And then it was like when it came time where I started drinking, I just constantly felt guilt every time I would drink because, you know, like, I'm doing this responsibly, but like, I feel guilty because of what those people said and what even sometimes society says because society is kind of mixed when it comes to alcohol. But I think that feeling guilty or bad about yourself for wanting to experiment with it. Is unnecessary and I think that it's not a productive. Thought to have just don't do anything too stupid, OK? As you're only allowed to go as stupid as text your ex. That you missed them, that's as stupid as you should go. And if you go a little bit stupider than that, then we maybe need to, we maybe need to do reassess here. And that's a that's a conversation that you need to have with anybody but me. OK, you need to go have a conversation about that with someone else anyway. That's today's episode about alcohol. I don't know what we learned. I don't know what we talked about. I don't really remember. So it's almost like I was drunk the whole time. I wasn't. I didn't even have a sip of alcohol on my 21st birthday. How crazy is that? I feel like I I don't know. I just wasn't in the mood, so I didn't, but anyway. That's all I got for today. Thank you guys for listening. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that you found this episode interesting in some way. If you did, let me know. Tweet at me at a G podcast or follow the Instagram and DM me. At anything goes subscribe to, anything goes any platform that you stream podcasts. Leave a review if you feel like it. You know the drill. Check out my company, Chamberlain coffee.com. There's a lot of amazing stuff on there. I drink a cold brew while I record every episode, and the cold brew is made entirely from. My brand. And it's delicious, so check it out. And that's all I got for today. Thank you guys for listening. I love you so much and I can't wait to talk to you next week. Keep being gorgeous. Keep being beautiful. Keep being awesome. Love you.