Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

a happy & healthy life

a happy & healthy life

Thu, 19 Aug 2021 15:04

Who doesn’t want to be happy? There are a lot of things in life that can get us down, or have a negative impact on our emotions, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Emma is going through all of the characteristics of how to create happiness in our lives, from building meaningful relationships, to limiting our time on social media, and gives some examples of things we can all do to bring a little more joy to our day. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Listen to Episode

Copyright © EFC LLC.

Read Episode Transcript

Ramble. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans from principal. And visit us at business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit This episode is brought to you by Carvana. They'll drive you happy. Carvana has purchased over a million cars from Happy customers by giving them an offer within minutes, and they can do the same for you. Carvana will give you a real offer for your car within minutes. Then they'll come to pick up your car and pay you on the spot. So to get a real offer on your vehicle in minutes, download the app or visit Good morning, everybody. It might not be morning when you're listening to this, but I am recording this at 7:30 in the morning. I don't know, I just felt right, like. The sun's coming up. There's like this golden light. Shining into my room, I was just like, oh. I want to talk. I I just want to talk to someone. So here we are. Today's episode is going to be about. Something that I've been thinking about a lot recently, which is how to live a happy life and what is the recipe to living a happy life because. I think that it's harder now than it's ever been. To live a happy life which sounds crazy and backwards because. In general. You know the world that we're living in today, as you know, flawed as it may be. Is still. Better. In a lot of ways than it was, say, 50 years ago. You know, there's a lot of things about living today that are so great. Umm. There are also some things about it that aren't so great. And one of those things being, you know, obviously the Internet. That's a huge one and possibly the biggest one. Umm. But also. I would argue like. The mentality around working. Sorry, I just heard my cat open the drawer that has the treats in it. And I now hear my cats trying to rip the bag of treats open. So if you don't mind, I need to go fix that problem and then I will be back. Oh my God, she just brought the bag of treats into my room. Queen, you can't have that. My cats figured out how to open the drawers like I swear to God I don't get a break. OK, sorry, I'm back. I gave them a few treats. And maybe now they'll leave me alone. Anyway. I feel like there is. This like mentality. And and maybe not everybody feels this that this might just be like my own hometown or. You know where I live? I I'm not sure. But it feels like everybody is so obsessed with going to a prestigious college and getting a prestigious job. And it's like that more than ever. You know, like, I think social media plays a role in that. Uh, people are obsessed with bragging rights in a sense. With that stuff and. Everybody's very competitive, it feels like. It's hard right now to live a happy life, especially what we're dealing with, you know, with the pandemic it's like. It's hard. Living a happy life is really hard. And. As you know, blessed as we are to have all of this technology and. All of this like social growth, you know, where people are learning so much about. Different types of people in ways that they never could have before, which I think is a great thing as well. There's just there's still so many challenges that come with living today and I think that. In order to live the happiest life that we can. We need to actually put effort in. Like it's not easy. It's not easy to live a happy life. You have to actually try, you know, not for everybody, but I would say for 99% of people if you want to live a happy life these days. You have to put effort in, because what I realized is that living a happy life is actually challenging. It's not easy. It's living a happy life is not taking the easy route. It's the complete opposite. I would say taking the easy route in life would almost be to. Surrender to. The vices in a way that we have right in front of us on a day-to-day basis that might be, you know. Going on social media for 8 hours a day, that might be. You know. Postmating food and ordering food for every meal, even when even though you have free time and you could be cooking instead, you know, or. Choosing to watch a drama video on YouTube instead of reading a book or. You know. Leaving mean comments on other people's social media posts instead of journaling and self reflecting about yourself the easy choices. These days. Are what? Make your life ****. You know what I'm saying? Not saying that you guys are Internet trolls. Like I I'm like implying that you guys are Internet trolls, by the way, that I just, like, gave those examples, but you get what I'm saying. It's like. It's almost easier than ever to be lazy nowadays. Do you know what I'm saying? It's easier than ever to be lazy nowadays, but at the same time there's more pressure than ever to succeed in astronomical amounts. It feels like our society is very obsessed with. Success and showing that to everybody and bragging about that to everybody, but yet at the same time, it's easier than ever to be lazy. It's so interesting. But I wrote down. A few things. That I think are necessary to having a happy life and. You know, hopefully you can listen to this and. Maybe pick a few of these things that you want to work on. I know these are things I'm working on. Anyway, let's get into it. The first ingredient for a happy life is having people in your life who make you feel comfortable. And having people in your life who you feel like would have your back no matter what happened. People that would not turn on you in a split second if all hell broke loose. Because let me tell you. Some of the happiest moments so far in my life. In the happiest phases I've had in my life. Have happened when I have people around me. That. I feel like our solid. I don't feel judged by these people. I don't feel. Like, these people would turn on me in a second if it benefited them, people who genuinely had my best interests at heart. And it's really hard to find that. And oftentimes in life, I think that we lie to ourselves about. Who truly has our back and who doesn't like, for example, when I was in high school, you know, my friends in high school. I would say would turn on me in a second if it. Would benefit them. Does that make them bad people? No. I'd probably turn on them too. You know what I'm saying? I probably would have turned on them too. We were all literally like, what, 15 year old girls? Of course we'd ******* backstab each other, like, especially because we weren't the closest of friends. It was like we had this massive friend group like. Chances are we'd probably all turn on each other. You know, if a cute boy came around and was like. You need to never talk to these girls again. And you can be my girlfriend. I would have been like, bye, *******. The ****. Like, that's just how it is. Like, there's gonna be phases in your life where, you know, your relationships with people aren't as genuine. And you might lie to yourself and be like, no, like we have each other's back. We have each other's back. But be honest with yourself, you know? Look at the people that you're surrounding yourself with. Do these people have my back? And would they turn on me in a split second? The other thing is. Making friends and having friends that are truly reliable and and have like. A sense of stability. I found that when I've. Been around people that are really, really all over the place, right? Like they. Are really good friends one day and then awful friends the next. And then. You know, don't want to be friends with me the next day like, **** like that. People who are super unstable. Are not good friends and. They need to figure out their own **** before they can have friends. Like, literally. Because. And listen, I've been like that too. I've been like that too, where I've been all weird with my friendships and I've been like, I don't know. Not a reliable friend, necessarily. And when I have moments like that and I see myself not being a reliable friend, I step back from the friendship. I will step back from the friendship, and I'll be like, OK, I'm just gonna back off here. And let this person make other friends, because I'm not being a good friend right now. Simple as that. Umm. But when it comes to you being friends with people who are like that? I think that. Having friends like that is just simply not good for your mental state because you can't rely on those people you know and I think. A huge part about living a happy life is having people that are reliable. And who you know you can call anytime about anything. And they would be there. And it might be your family, it might be your siblings, it might be your friends, it might be the. It might even be a therapist. It might be. Your favorite teacher just having somebody in your life. Who you can go to? And. Listen, there might be moments where you don't have that. And you can't find that anywhere. That's OK too. But I think that it's something to strive for. Strive to find those people. That. Are truly. 100% reliable. Real friendship. And real, genuine human connection in life is, I think, harder to come by than. We expect. Because I think a lot of times in life we. Have friendships or even romantic relationships. That. We think are sufficient and we think are good, but if you really look between the cracks of them, they're. Toxic. And. Healthy relationships in life are. In the moment, unconditional. It doesn't mean you're going to be in each other's lives forever. You might not be friends forever. You might not be in love forever if we're referring to a romantic partner. But. In the moment of the relationship. You should love someone unconditionally, ideally. Listen, it's not always gonna be that way, but I think that having a few people in your life that you truly love unconditionally is one of the most fulfilling things that you can experience, and it can come into your life in so many different ways. It might be a significant other, but it also might be a best friend. There's no rules, there's no regulations. It can be whatever you want it to be, and it can be whatever makes the most sense in your life. But having that is so powerful. Even if it doesn't last forever, that's not what. The point is. The point is that at any given moment in time. You know, you should strive to have relationships like that. The second ingredient I would say to a happy life is. Continuing to have challenge in your life now, this is something I kind of talked about in my last episode actually. Where? Basically I was talking about how in my. Job if you will. I I know I hate calling like YouTube and my podcast and all that stuff my job, but like. Technically it is, but it's also my passion in life for sure. But it's also a job. Technically, you know what I mean. I hate saying it. Listen, I hate saying it's so ******* annoying, but whatever. I, you know, removed a lot of the challenge from my passion in life slash my job, which is YouTube and creating things on the Internet. I removed a lot of that challenge by hiring people who could do The Dirty work for me, who could do the hard parts for me. And what I found was that that. Made my life worse, you know, not having that challenge. Took away a lot of my fulfillment from doing these activities and that really, really made me realize. How important challenge is, you know? I even think that. I took the challenge that I had and experienced in school. Kind of for granted. Because what I didn't realize was is that when I was in school and I was working on homework constantly and, you know, working on all this **** constantly. Even though it was miserable. It also weirdly made me feel fulfilled and I didn't realize it in the moment but having that daily challenge of school. Was something that made me feel accomplished and made me feel good about myself in a weird way. It also made me feel like **** about myself sometimes. But. When it really came down to it, like having the challenge of school. Subconsciously made me feel accomplished and made me feel good about myself. Now that might not be the case for everybody. Do not get me wrong, for some people the challenge of school doesn't work. For them and. It even didn't work for me at a certain point, you know. But there were moments when I was in school where that challenge was really actually healthy for me and it gave me something to focus on, you know, on a daily basis and. I I find that really interesting. But the moral of this story is, you know. Having challenges in your day-to-day life and creating challenges for yourself. Is crucial. For living a happy life, I'll give you some examples, you know. Making it a goal for yourself, I'm only going to let myself. Eat out. Twice a week. And for the rest of the week, I'm going to cook for every meal. I don't know what is going on with my cats. They're like in in playtime mode and they're like wrestling each other and they're meowing and it's just like. Out of control? But for somebody who maybe has a busier schedule, right? Like somebody who has. Say, a really challenging job. That might be enough challenge and so creating an another challenge for yourself like. You know, forcing yourself to cook might not make sense. O. Finding your own personal challenge. Is kind of up to you and it needs to fit your lifestyle and it needs to be something that is realistic too. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom to get this limited time offer today again. That's OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. I'm literally laying down in bed. I love the fact that I record my podcast in bed. It's like my favorite thing possibly on the planet. But I was sitting up in bed and I gave up and now I'm laying down on my heating pad and I feel amazing. Anyway. Your daily challenge is going to look different. Then your friend or your family like it's going to look different. Than the other people in your life. I think it might be helpful to give an example about how I'm trying to challenge myself. In my life. Number one, I started editing my YouTube videos again. Because that's challenging and. It makes me feel accomplished after because I. Created something I've also been painting. I just started getting into watercolors. And. At first I was absolutely terrible and every single thing I would paint was like a ******* BLOB mess. Like it looked terrible. But. Just a few days ago I painted something that I was actually really proud of and I was like, oh ****. This feels good. This like, you know, I've been challenging myself with this new hobby per se. And it wasn't working, but it was still challenging, which is good and satisfying, but it wasn't. I wasn't getting any fruits of my labor. I I didn't have anything I was proud of. And then, you know, after a few days of challenge, I actually painted something that I was proud of. And then I was like, OK, this is awesome. You know what I mean? Another way I've been challenging myself is by. Cooking as many meals a day as I can, trying not to order food. Another challenge that I've been trying to integrate is not watching as much. Junk on the Internet and trying to watch more. Good **** you know, whether it's like interviews with really intelligent people or. Documentaries or. Instructional videos instead of watching just like stuff about drama and whatever. Because as much as I'm like, I love watching inspirational stuff and listening to podcasts that are inspirational and listening to audio books and stuff, I still have days where I just want to go on the Internet and just. Watch all the junk, you know what I'm saying? Watch all the stuff that makes me feel like **** at the end of the day. And guess what? Sometimes that's necessary, but I've been trying to actively like, only let myself do that for a little bit. You know. And those have been some of my challenges, but. You can figure out what those challenges look like for you. And the reason why having challenges is so important. Is because. It gives you this subconscious feeling of accomplishment. When you do something challenging it. Actually. Boost yourself esteem in a way and it might not seem like that in the moment because you know, for example like. When I'm editing a YouTube video. It's challenging, and there are moments when I doubt myself. There are moments when I'm like, ah, is that like, too boring or? Did I not? Film this in a way that. Looks good or whatever, like I'm constantly questioning myself. But when I'm done editing the video. Even if there is some self doubt on the way. You know, I leave working on that project feeling accomplished. Even if I had moments of feeling like **** while working on it, you know? And that's fulfilling. I also think that there's something to be said for. People striving for success in life. So that they can remove all the challenge from their life. And. You know, it's so interesting because living in LA and being around a lot of people who have. Succeeded in life, you know, I've seen a lot of different routes that people have taken and not to bash on them or any way that they have decided to take their life because it's none of my business. But I've noticed that a lot of people who become successful immediately decide to remove all challenge from their life. You know, they get somebody who cooks for them, cleans for them, drives around for them. Does all their work virtually for them, right? And they have no more challenge left. And you know what that ends up? Creating is a monster in a sense, because. A human being with no challenge. Starts putting their energy in areas that are not good, whether that's. Being a stuck up and mean person or that's. Becoming an entitled person, whatever it may be, removing challenge from your life. Immediately. Destroys your ground. You know what I'm saying? It destroys your foundation. And it destroys your sense of reality. And it's impossible to be grounded when you remove challenge from your life. And a lot of people who find success, Extreme success in life. Unfortunately, go that route and I think that that should be maybe food for thought for people who say look at these, you know celebrities, right? And are like, ah, like their life seems so easy. Yeah, it it might seem easy because, you know, they can cheat their way through life in a way, but. All of the. Rewarding challenge in their life gets removed because. They don't have to do anything anymore if they don't want. Now listen, there's ways that you can handle this in a way that's good. You know you can. Decide. As an extremely successful person that you're not going to go that route, that's definitely a possibility, but most people don't do that. And. I don't know. I just think that that's something that should be food for thought. Is that you know. Just because. You may be struck it rich in a way. Doesn't mean that you're going to have a better life because. Being able to pay your way through life is actually one of the most depressing things on the planet. Now that might sound ignorant because it's like Emma, OK, shut the **** **. Because. You know. Having a. Money is. Extremely, you know, helpful in in living. A comfortable life. I totally understand that. I'm talking about the extremes here, right? Like. It's just interesting to observe. How some people reach a peak of success and then just. Throw away all of their meaning in life because they remove all of their challenge. Again. I don't want to judge anybody because it's very easy to go that route, but I just find it fascinating in something that. We should all chew on and think about. The third ingredient to having a happy life. Is obviously controlling your social media. Slash Internet usage. And ideally finding as many things in life. That you can that make you not want to go on your phone because there's nothing better. Then. Not going on your phone all day and not even noticing, right? My goal on a daily basis is to find as many things as I can that will. Distract me from going on my phone. Like basically my life is just me figuring out what can get me to knock on my phone. Because just deciding I don't want to go on my phone is very difficult, but finding things that you can do that get you off your phone are it's the best and. That can look like a lot of different things. Like for me right now, that's cooking, that's editing my YouTube videos, that's. Exercising actually is a big one. UM. Hanging out with people that I. Enjoy having conversation with. That's what it looks like for me generally. Those are my usual distractions that make me go on off my phone and not even pay attention. I don't even remember that I'm not on my phone. You know. Controlling your social media slash Internet usage also comes down to deleting apps or. Blocking ******* websites, that. Negatively affect your mental health in any way, shape or form. Don't allow yourself to. Use apps or go on websites that are disruptive, not disruptive, disruptive for you. If something's destructive for you and you are aware of it. It's shockingly not that obvious to, like, completely delete something from your life. But you know what's crazy? Is that? Every time I unfollow somebody that. Maybe post things that make me feel bad about myself, or every time I delete an app, a whole social media app that doesn't. Make me feel good. It's shocking to me. How quickly? Number one, my life improves, but #2, I forgot I ever even had it. Like I deleted tick Tock and I deleted Twitter and it was like. 24 hours later I forgot I even had the apps on my phone. And my life immediately improved. Same thing with like, unfollowing people. You know when I unfollow people that I don't really care about or like, don't want to see what they're doing or like they they're life maybe makes me. Feel bad about my own. Like, a week will go by and I'll be like, wow, I wonder how they're doing. Like, I haven't seen anything that they've been doing on my Instagram feed. And then I'm like, oh, I'm followed them. And then it's great because then you're like, oh. I haven't seen anything and that's amazing, you know what I'm saying? You have more control over your Internet usage and your social media usage than you think. And. You're in the driver's seat, so if something's negatively affecting you, it's up to you. To remove that from your life. And I know it's easy to feel like you're going to miss out on ****. I totally understand that feeling. But I can guarantee that you're not, and I can guarantee that. Removing these platforms from your life and removing these. Segments of the Internet from your life. Are going to make you feel so much better. The next. Ingredient to a healthy life is having balance between your social life and your alone time. Now I think that within the past three years I have. Been really trying to figure out the happy medium because. I've experienced both extremes. When I first moved to LA, I was never alone. Ever. I was always hanging out with my friends or. Hanging out with someone, I was always with somebody. And that was not good for me because number one, I never needed to self reflect. I never had time to self reflect. And I didn't feel independent because I didn't feel comfortable doing things by myself because. I got used to just constantly doing things with people and constantly having that safety net of having people around me. While I'm doing things and so I didn't ever challenge myself by doing things by myself and. That was not good. It was almost like too comfortable and too easy because I didn't have to self reflect and I didn't have to do anything alone and that was not good. But then, you know, more recently I spent too much time alone. You know, I'd spend a week alone straight. And not see anybody. And that caused me to self reflect too much and to start becoming too self-centered almost to a point where. I was. Over analyzing everything that I was doing and I was also. Overthinking everything that I was doing and I was too hyper aware of myself and I lost touch with the fact that other people ******* exist on this planet and that, you know, it's not all about me, but it started to feel like it was all about me because I was constantly alone. And. That wasn't good either, you know, and so. I think the key is to find your own personal balance of. Your social life versus your alone time and figuring out how much time you need. Per week by yourself. To make sure that. You have your own needs met. And you're doing your own. Self reflection on your own time and that you have time to do all that stuff, but also. That you have your social time so that you're alone time. Doesn't get out of control, but then at the same time. Your social time doesn't get out of control like it's it's a balance. And listen, there are going to be weeks and even months that are kind of off of the routine, right, just because life happens, but generally figuring out the balance. So that. Nothing gets to an unhealthy point, and I think that that's a reoccurring theme in general when it comes to having a healthy life. You know. Balance is key and finding healthy balance is key in a pretty much everything. You never want too much of something, but you also never want not enough of something. And it's a hard balance to find. And it takes. Reflection in a decent amount of self-awareness to figure that out. But. You are all beyond capable of figuring out. The balance and. I think that it's something that's worth. Taking time, reflecting on. The next ingredient? To a healthy life, it's having some sense of predictability in your day. No, I'm not sure if this would work for everybody, but this is something that I've found that works really well for me. Having a sense of predictability. So that might be having a specific morning routine where you meditate for a certain amount of time, you journal for a certain amount of time, you do your skin care routine for a certain amount of time. That might be something that. Is reliable and predictable in your day, but it also might be maybe your exercise routine or. You know. Spending time with the same person. Every day for a certain amount of time, whether that's on the phone or in person, like having some sense of routine and predictability and. I think that having these daily activities can really help you feel grounded and. Can be like. The grounding activities throughout your day that bring you back to Earth, right? Because life is so hectic and having. Something that's consistent and reliable can kind of help. Bring your brain back to neutral. And I think that that's so important. I know for me, that's absolutely my morning routine, you know, where I wake up and I make my coffee and I get back into bed and I maybe journal or maybe read or maybe watch something inspiring and and maybe I even work on something, you know, who knows? But that's something that is reliable and predictable for me. But then also, you know. My daily movement, whether that's going to an exercise class or going for a walk or. Riding my like stationary bike at home, like whatever it may be. Moving my body in some way. Is something that I do every day because it makes me feel good and it's also reliable, like I know that I have my. 30 minutes to an hour per day where I do something active relatively. Not necessarily. Like extremely active. It might be going on a walk in my pajamas. Like, for real, it might be that. But doing something, you know, and and that's something I can rely on every day. And I know it's going to be there. I know it's going to be a part of my day. And I know I can use that time to. Relax and reflect and you know. Do something for me. I have some friends and family members who wear contacts, and honestly, I can't imagine how much of a pain it must be to always have to go to the eye doctor, go in for unnecessary tests. When you know that your prescription hasn't changed. It's so time-consuming and so stressful. I truly can't imagine one 800 contacts has been making people's lives so much easier and delivering contact lenses for 27 years. They make getting contacts super fast and easy. Even if you have a really strong prescription, all you have to do is order the same contacts you would get from your doctor. Just look on the side of your contacts box for that info. You can order online, over the phone, or with their app, and they ship them fast and free to your home. You can even renew your prescription. Mind using their express exam and there are so many benefits to going through one 800 contacts. They guarantee if you find your contacts at a lower price elsewhere, they'll beat it. And I mean, who doesn't like to save a little money? Speaking of which, new customers can get extra discounts when you check out their site, and their 24/7 customer support is so helpful that it's award-winning. So let one 800 contacts get you the contact lenses you need. Order online at one 800 contacts. Dot com. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. The last thing. That. Actually, no, this is not the last one. Sorry. Next ingredient? Having things to look forward to. On your calendar as much as possible. Now this can be something as small as getting your nails done or. Having a dinner reservation or. Seeing somebody. That you love. It can be something as simple as that. But it can also be something larger, like planning maybe a vacation or a concert or. Something larger, just always having something that you're looking forward to. I find I get the most unhappy. When it feels like my life is all work and no play and I don't have anything on my calendar that I'm looking forward to, that's. Going to be just simply enjoyable, you know, because as much as I'm talking about how good it is to challenge yourself in life. We also deserve moments to just. Relax and enjoy, you know, and so having things like that on your calendar is so important. And. If you're like me, you might feel like, well, I don't deserve to have those moments. I don't deserve to. Have these things to look forward to. I don't work hard enough. I constantly am battling that feeling right. I don't care who you are. Everybody deserves to have those types of things on their calendar. Everybody. And so making it a priority to put those things on your calendar. And. To. Have them there as often as possible. Is so great because then you always have something to look forward to. So when things get tough and you know you're working really hard, you have that light at the end of the tunnel and you're like, OK, at the end of the week, though, I get to see my best friend and we're going to, you know, go for a walk and we're going to talk and it's going to be great or, you know? In two months I'm going on this vacation and this is going to be amazing and you know all my work will be worth it once I go on this vacation. Having something like that is so important. And the last ingredient is practicing gentle. Self reflection. Journaling, meditating. Just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, whatever it may be. Having a method in life that you can go to that promotes. And encourages self reflection. It might be journaling, it might be meditating. It might be just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. It might be going on a walk, whatever it may be. Making sure that. You have you time where you can reflect and think. It seemed so simple and so obvious, but it is huge. You know, I think journaling is my favorite way because I feel like it's the best way to like. Put your thoughts. Into the forefront of your head. For some reason and and it kind of like. Make your thoughts more tangible in a way. I just think that checking in on yourself is so important. But also, you know, you might have noticed I said gentle self reflection and that's because. If you're self reflecting in in, that just means that you're beating yourself up about things and being mean to yourself. That's not self reflection, that's just being a bully to yourself. You know you need to self reflect in ways that are gentle and that are constructive and you need to be kind to yourself in these moments. And. That is. Not always easy to do. But I think that it's just. So important and also so overlooked, you know. Anyway, that's all the talking points I have, but I asked you guys to ask me questions about living a happy life on. The Twitter at AG podcast and. I'm going to answer some of your questions. Somebody said why do people always preach about how your life can be better and happier? What if you're just happy with a plain and simple life? Is that a bad thing? I think that this is such a great question because. Again, with social media, it's like everybody's constantly bragging about how much **** that they're doing and how many vacations that they're going on and how many friends they have and all these nice restaurants that they're eating at. And and it's all about bragging and, like, flexing. It feels like, you know what I mean, when in reality, for most people, a happy life does not mean some sort of extravagant life. Like for me, I love going out to eat. I love going on vacation. I love doing all that stuff. But. I. Feel happy just doing simple things too, you know, maybe going to the beach a few times a week and like. Trying new things like painting or drawing or ******* reading books like. I can be happy in that state too, and I think that. Sometimes I'm even happier in that state. And I think that. Actually a big. Happiness suck. Is. Comparing yourself to other people. That seemed to have this crazy happy life. Because the truth of the matter is you don't know the truth. You know they they might not. Have a happy life. They might have all these extravagant things, and they might go on all these extravagant vacations and all this stuff. But. Whether or not they're happy is still a mystery, and chances are they're probably not as happy as they seem. And. There's beauty and comfort and. Still so much excitement in a simple life. Truly. I actually think that. It's possible that even having a simple life. For some people could be exponentially happier. Than having a complex. Crazy life. Because. Everything is relative. Right. And so if you live a more simple life. You might get excited about. The small things more than somebody who has say an extravagant life, right? Like someone who is constantly traveling and, you know, maybe has a lot of money and and goes and eats at these crazy restaurants every day and you know, it does all the. And buys, you know, crazy luxury, you know. But bags and **** all the time. You know, they might not get excited about. Somebody in line at a coffee shop paying for their drink. On a random Wednesday that might just like, not even phase them, whereas someone who has a more simple life might be able to find. Joy in more things and in more simple things which could then create actually a happier life. I do not think there's anything wrong with living a simple life, and I think if anything. It might even be better, and it might even allow you to enjoy the small things even more. Someone said I'm always thinking about the future. What's a good way to stay grounded and enjoy the present? I think to a certain extent, it's impossible not to think about the future, but I think that something that's good to remember is that the future is malleable. It it, you know, obviously there are some things that are uncertain, but there are also a lot of things that you can control. And so I think. Reminding yourself that. You know. The future is open. It's a blank canvas, and it can become whatever you want. Let that be comforting to you in a sense, and spend time maybe journaling about. What you want your future to look like and what things you're looking forward to. Take your energy. And use it to look at the future in a positive and constructive light. And then move on. And return to the present moment by doing something right that might be getting back to work or, you know, hanging out with somebody or doing something in the present moment that will bring you back to Earth. But don't necessarily ignore the fact that you're thinking about the future, because I think that that's necessary to a certain extent, and normal and healthy and important, but just shift the way that you look at the future instead of being scared and terrified and all of that. Remind yourself that it's kind of up to you and that it's actually really exciting and start planning out how you want it to look. And obviously it might look completely different when the future comes, right? But it doesn't matter. In the present moment. Look at the future as something that's very bright. Because the truth is, it is. And it can be whatever you want it to be, you know? Somebody said how do I distance myself from toxic dynamics in an organic, slash natural way? I feel like every time I'm like, this isn't working out for me, I end up going back on that, even if it really is better that we break off the communication. I totally understand this and I still struggle with this to this day, but I would say. The goal is to, you know. Distance yourself from people in a way that doesn't burn a bridge, and distance yourself from people in a way where if. That person grows at some point, and they. Become maybe less toxic for you. You could maybe ideally reintegrate them back into your life at some point if it felt right. But also, you know, creating those healthy boundaries, I think the key. Is, you know. To kind of. Politely. Just decline spending time with them and you might need to make excuses. You might need to lie, but. If the relationship is not serving you in that moment. You kind of have the right to do those things if you need a lie and say, oh, I'm so busy. Do it. Let them down easy, in a sense, and eventually they'll get sick of asking you to hang out, you know, and then. Slowly but surely, it faded away. And then there you go. And if at some point they're like, dude, what's up? Like, you know, we haven't hung out in forever. You can just say, hey, blame it on yourself. Just be like, hey, I don't know, like, I've just been kind of needing to spend some time alone, and I've been just, like, working on all this stuff, and I've been really overwhelmed and, like, all this stuff. But, you know, I'm always here for you if you need me. But, like, I just need my space right now. You know. And be. Strict with yourself. Be like I'm not. Going to hang out with this person like I'm going to distance myself and don't go back and don't let yourself go back on it. Like make it a rule in your brain, like I'm not going to. Make excuses and go back to this like I'm going to stay true to my word. Somebody said, have you ever felt like you'd never be happy? And if you did, how did you get yourself out of that feeling I? I felt like that hundreds of times throughout my life and. I think that. The way that I. Feel happiness again is by. Honestly. Trying to integrate as many things from the list that I mentioned in the beginning of the episode back into my life. So that might be, you know. Reintegrating challenge into my life or? Finding a better balance between my social life and my alone time or. Deleting social media apps that are no longer serving me, it's like. I just try to make changes, you know what I'm saying? Like, I take a second to look at my life, like, what's going wrong here? What's not serving me? And then I just simply remove those things and see what happens. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes, you know, you might need to make quite a few changes and sometimes one simple change. Can. Make things feel good again, it it's just. It's about being proactive in a sense, and. That's that. Somebody said does a happy life mean that it lasts forever or just temporary when you have the things and people around you that make you happy? I do not think that having a happy life means that it lasts forever in the sense that you're never gonna feel sadness again, and you're never gonna feel frustrated again, and you're never gonna feel hurt or sad again. Unfortunately, that's the human condition. We're always going to be living in this constant state. Of fluctuation, you know, but I think that. When I think of a happy life, I think of a life that's. More happy than it is unhappy. And that might be 55% of the time you're happy and 45% of the time you're unhappy. It might be like that, and it might be that you're happy 80% of the time and you're unhappy 20%. But I think that the main goal should be to feel happy more than you feel unhappy. And the goal should be to make the percentage of time that you feel happy as large as you possibly can, but also while understanding that. You're still always going to have that percentage of time that you feel unhappy, and that's OK and that's normal and that's part of being a human. Unfortunately, we're never going to be happy 24/7, you know? Somebody said can one only truly be happy when you stop being worldly? Like being concerned with human or earthly matters, focused on worldly possessions, and obsessed with worldly gains. I'm in between that and my spiritual journey, which would mean. I have to let go of most. Slash all of that. Is it for the better? This is really interesting because this kind of. Is discussing. You know how? As an individual. Were faced with. Basically two things in life, things that are outside of us. And things that are within us, right? And what's the balance there? That is the most positive and constructive. When it comes to worldly things, whether that's you know. Politics or. Causes. Or topics or you know, the news or. Yeah, even possessions and stuff like that. Like when it comes to all of those things. What I've found for me personally that works the best is that. I allow myself to be passionate and to be interested in, to be. Infatuated by those things? But. I don't let them consume me to a point where it's all that I think about. You know, I think that as a human being, it's necessary in a sense, to be aware and to be. In tune with worldly things that are outside of us, but I also think that. It can be taken too far and it can become in a sense. All that you think about in your whole identity is things that are outside of you. And I think that that's not good because I don't think that that's actually productive in any way, and I think that it can actually be detrimental. I think that. When it comes to. Finding that balance. You know you need to make sure that. Your energy is not all only going to things that are outside of you. You know a very generous amount of your energy needs to be going inward. Because. If not, you'll lose your sanity. Somebody said honestly, I feel like I'm at an all time low in life. I feel so drained and I don't have enough motivation to do simple tasks. Any suggestions to help gain motivation? Get a planner, get a journal, get a notebook, get something and every morning. Write out a schedule for the day. Now, I'm not talking about writing down **** like. Write an entire novel and. Solve, you know, a worldly issue and cook dinner for my entire family. Like, I'm not talking about doing like. Crazy exhausting tasks. I'm talking about doing things that are feasible. OK, so that might be like. Painting something? Write that on your daily schedule, like write down everything that you believe that you could do in that day. Reasonably right. Find things that you do have the energy to do. As small as they are, it doesn't matter. Write them all down and then make it a goal to get all of those things done. An example could be. I'm going to cook myself one meal today. I'm going to. Write in my journal for 15 minutes. Today I'm going to go for a walk. For 10 minutes today and I'm going to. Do 20 minutes of homework. You know. All of that doesn't seem like much necessarily, but it's so much more than you think. When it comes to like having motivation and stuff like that. It's a matter of getting started and that's the hardest part about it, so. If you can, write down a bunch of things in your day that you know that you can do. And then you do them. That's a really great first step because. At least you're doing something and that'll get the ball rolling. Do you know what I'm saying? It's about getting the ball rolling. But the other thing is, is that if you're truly feeling drained and not motivated and you feel like ****. Let yourself lay in bed with no guilt. Let yourself enjoy your relaxation with no guilt. And let yourself have that time because. Sometimes we need two weeks in bed, sometimes we need a month in bed and that's OK, but when you're ready. To get out of bed. Don't force yourself to do something big and crazy. Do something small. Make yourself breakfast. You know. Draw Something. Go for a short walk, like just do something. It doesn't need to be big anyway, you guys. That's today's episode. I hope that you enjoyed. I really enjoyed recording it and hanging out with you today. If you enjoyed it. Let me know you can leave me a review on ALE Podcasts or tweet at me at AG podcast. And I hope that you guys have an amazing rest of your week. I'll see you next week. I love and appreciate you all very, very much and I will see you soon.