Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

advice session #8

advice session #8

Thu, 28 Jan 2021 11:00

It's another advice session! Answering questions on trust issues in friendships, how much time should you be spending with your significant other, and are you actually into that person or are they just hot? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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You need to show them. You should, mom. No, seriously, let's set you up on Shopify. It's easy. I always knew you would build your own business guys. Yum. When you're ready to bring your idea to life, build it on Shopify. Sign up for a free 14 day trial at 22, 22. Hey guys, welcome back to anything goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host and your bestie. If you want me to be. I swear to God. Guess what? I press record and the cats start scratching at the door. This happens without fail every time. It's like they literally wait for me to press record to start meowing at me. It's unbelievable. I will be back. OK. Anyway. Today we're going to be doing an advice session. I'm really excited. I had you guys tweet at me. On the Twitter at AG podcast, you can DM me, you can tweet at me, whatever, and I will. Read through your guys's issues and things that you're struggling with and try to give you my best advice. Again, I've never said this as a disclaimer before, but I do want to remind you, no matter what you're struggling with, it's never a bad idea to seek help, whether it's from an adult in your life, a therapist, a professional, if it's something a little more severe. You know. Please remember how important those resources are, but I also feel like. As a 19 year old girl. Who's? Struggled with. A lot of things. I still like to give my. Input to my besties. My besties are you guys. So let me pull these up and we'll get, we'll get right on started, all right? All right, the first person said. I need advice on how to not be super scared of somebody seeing your body when you start a relationship. I have scars on my body and I'm super insecure and I usually get out of something, get serious. I totally understand this and it is super vulnerable in a relationship when especially when you're older too, when it's like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is not a middle school relationship anymore. You might have to see my belly button and other stuff. You know what I mean? And it's ******* scary. I you know, it is terrifying. So for starters, I want to say you being uncomfortable and frightened by this is totally normal. Totally normal. I don't know one person that doesn't struggle with this at least. In the beginning like when they first start. Having relationships that are maybe more mature where you know that's an element. Umm. My advice? Is. If you show up with confidence. There's just. No way you can go wrong. And that's something that I've realized because I've gone through so many phases with my body and the way that I look at my body and, you know, all of that stuff and. Every time. Whether it's with a new person or it's with somebody I've been dating for six months. I just remember if I show up and I do this ****. With confidence. I can't go wrong and guess what? I've never gone wrong. It's. It's always. Worked out in my favor. Because. If somebody's with you, it's because they they're they're attracted to you and they love you and they appreciate you. You cannot go wrong. But I think that the element of confidence is for you. It's almost like I've used this metaphor before, but it's like when you're sad or you're crying and you look in the mirror and you smile at yourself in the mirror. It immediately helps you stop crying. And it immediately makes you feel better, in a weird, subconscious way. It's the same thing if you ******* OK not to be, like, weirdly TMI here, but let's say you're like, taking off your shirt if you're like, **** it and you just, like, take it off. And you're not timid about it, and you just have confidence about it. You may have to act here. You may have to literally be acting. To seem suave about it, like you don't give a ****. Like you're just confident and you're like, **** yeah, I don't give a ****. That is so attractive not only to the other person, but also to you. You're gonna be like, wait, **** that was kind of dope. Like, holy **** OK, *****. You know, like that was fire. Like, you're cool. You know what I mean? It makes you feel like. I got this **** in the bag and it it it makes them believe that you're confident even if you're not. It it almost starts to make you think you're confident when you're not. It starts with acting. It starts with going through the motions and just. Acting as confident as you can, even if a little bit of acting is needed, and then eventually. It's gonna be like, wait. I am actually confident now because I've done this so many times. That now I realize, like wait, I don't need to even act anymore. Like I actually feel confident in this situation. But showing your body to. Your significant other is so terrifying because, number one, of course, as a human being you want to be attractive to them, right? And. There's a lot of moving parts in a romantic relationship. It's like not only do they need to like you for who you are, but they also need to be attracted to you. Because there's a whole intimate side to relationships and I know I struggle with that a lot because I'm like. When I first meet a guy, I'm always like, wow. I hope they like it. Like, I don't know. You know what I mean? How are you? Like, it's scary. You're like, I hope that. They're attracted to me enough to, like, be in a I'm attractive enough to them to for them to be in a relationship. It's so it's so easy to go down that rabbit hole and be like, I hope that they are attracted to me even when I'm. Not clothed, because if not, then this isn't going to work and and it's out of your control and it's so easy to be concerned about that, but at the end of the day? It's really less about what you look like naked, and it's a lot more about what's in your heart. I know that. I could be talking to the best looking guy ever who I was so incredibly physically attracted to, but if he was a ****** ***? That would make him ugly to me immediately, whereas I'd so much rather date a guy that I don't even. Find as attractive, but that I have this crazy connection with, although I have never dated a guy that I'm not physically attracted to. The moral of the story is. Physical appearance. Is really not as important as you think it is when it comes to that stuff. And. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you think about yourself. You are hot and you need to look at yourself in the mirror and believe it. I work on this constantly. I'm always trying to do this. I'm always trying to be like Emma, you are very hot. Yes, Emma, sure. Like, even if I'm ******* lying to myself. I'm constantly trying to convince myself. Of that. And I think it does help. But it's not easy moving on. Somebody said is it cheating if my boyfriend tells other girls that they're pretty or hot? It feels like cheating to me, but I want more input. Here's my. Possibly. Old fashioned. Opinion. Do I think it's cheating? Kind of. No. It's not fully cheating. No, it's not fully cheating because I think fully cheating means. It needs to be. A lot worse for it to be fully cheating, right? I don't think that cheating is really a word that we need to use in this scenario. I think it's. Disrespectful. And here's why. Can your boyfriend find other women attractive? Yes, he can. Can he control that? No, he can't. Can you find other men attractive? Yes, you can. That's not up to you. I don't care. Who you are. If you're in a relationship, I don't care how good that relationship is. You still are going to find other people attractive because. That's just how this works. But it's. How you react to that feeling? Like if I'm in a relationship and I think another guy is good looking, I can acknowledge that, but I'm also like, OK, but I don't give a ****. You know, I I know I'm never gonna. I would never act on it. I don't even want to act on it. It's my worst nightmare to act on it. Like if that's not even on my horizon. And this is not even something that ever needs to be brought up. It's like a passing thought. If I'm dating a guy and he sees a girl on the street and thinks that she's pretty, yeah, I want to punch her in the face, sure, but at the same time, like, that's not something he can control. The thing is him. Verbalizing this opinion? Him verbalizing finding other women attractive. At all is completely unnecessary. Unless it's like, maybe between him and his friend. Like if him and his friend are walking on the street and he's like, oh wow, that girl's beautiful. OK, come on. That's a hard thing to avoid, but if you're aware that he's calling girls pretty cute hot in any way, that's just disrespectful and unnecessary. If I'm dating a guy I would never be like. Oh, that dude's hot. Ever. I would. I would never do that. I'd never be like, ohh, he's really, he's really cute. Ever. Because it's just disrespectful. Actually, I think I did do that once in front of a guy I was dating on accident, but I didn't mean it and I feel like this is a good exception. Like. One time my friend was on a dating app and she was scrolling through a bunch of guys and I was like, oh, that guy is kind of cute. And I said that in front of the guy that I. In that moment was dating. And. I remember thinking about it after and being like, wait, I I don't know if that, like, I was like, is that not OK? But I think that that's OK because it's so clearly like a guy for my friend. Do you know what I mean? But I don't know. Even that maybe isn't OK. I don't know. I just think it's not respectful. And I think if he's trying to make you jealous, trying to make you feel bad from calling other girls pretty cute, blah, blah blah. That's just not a good guy. A good guy. Should make you feel like you're the only pretty girl in the world. Even though that's not true, but I think that that's. Where the bar should be, and trust me, it's possible. It is possible. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone and every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. To hire this year because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's. If you need to get some stuff for, that's You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. Somebody said, can you give advice for a new YouTuber or somebody who wants to do YouTube editing, scheduling, anything on that area? Sure. Honestly my tips with YouTube are. I recommend uploading as much as you can. I think the best advice I can give is make as many ******* videos as you possibly can. And the reason why this is my advice. Is because the more videos you make. The more you're going to figure out you're going to get better at editing, you're going to get better at coming up with ideas. You are going to start to figure out what your style is. You're going to start getting more and more comfortable in front of the camera. It's going to become a routine. Also, the more videos you have up, the more videos people have to watch of you, the more videos that exist of you and the higher likelihood of somebody being like, wait, I really like this YouTuber. And I binged like ten of their videos, I really like them. I'm gonna subscribe. If you have one video, people are a lot less likely to subscribe. If you have 5 videos, people are a lot less likely to subscribe. If you have 30 videos. People are going to be like this. Person's consistent. I love them. I'm going to subscribe. Make as many videos as you can and also. Don't be afraid to go outside of the box like if you've never seen somebody do something before, that probably means it's a good idea. Somebody said hi Emma, I'm an introvert, but I'm also really social and I like spending time with friends. However, I have this really bad habit of cutting people off when I feel left out or excluded from a group slash friendship. I feel awful and regretted every time, but I feel like I do it for a reason. I often feel really anxious and bad about myself in my big group because I'm usually everyone's last resort. Do I have real problematic trust issues or am I just being overly sensitive? Any advice? I don't think that you have anything to. Feel guilty about I don't think that you have. Even really trust issues necessarily, and I definitely don't think you're being overly sensitive. I think that this friend group dynamic just simply doesn't work for you, and there's nothing negative about that. That's just how it is. There's nothing wrong with you. In a friendship. Obviously there's going to be ups and downs. Obviously sometimes things are going to be rough, but then the next moment they could be great and they could be great for months to follow it. Like there's always going to be dips in everything. Relationships, life, all of it. But. If your instinct. Wants you to cut somebody off. There's probably a good reason for it. If you feel like you're everybody's last resort. And you don't want to be that way, then that's just not the right friend group for you. Go find a friend group that's maybe a little bit smaller, maybe a little bit more intimate. Two to five people, maybe. Or maybe even two to four, two to three. And. See how that works out for you? Because I personally am not great in big groups either because it's it's always like that. There's always somebody being left out and whether it's me feeling bad because I can see somebody being left out, but I don't know what to do about it or I'm the one being left out. I it just never works for me. I just don't like it. So I will leave and I don't feel bad. Do you know how many friendships I'm ruining on a day-to-day basis because I just don't have the energy for it or it just doesn't feel right to me? So many do I feel guilty. But sometimes, sure, but what do I remind myself? It's my life and I am number one most important person in my life, the people that. I just can't. Hold friendships with. Or the people that I've cut off, they'll be fine. They're doing just fine without me. You know what I'm saying? They don't need me. I need to do what's best for me, and if that means making different friends, if that means having less friends, whatever that means for me, that's number one priority. So think of it like that. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just not in a friendship dynamic that works best for you, and I think a good way to transition out of it is to have one foot in this friendship but have another foot in the rest of the world and start looking for new friends. And let me know what happens. I'm I I know you're how you're feeling and I totally get it. And you got this. Somebody said hi Amy, do you think it's healthy in a relationship to be seeing each other everyday? My boyfriend and I live close and with college being online at the moment due to COVID, we spend all of our time together and we've almost merged into one person at this point. If I want this relationship to last, do you think we need to change so? It's hard to know because I do think it's a very personal. Thing and like some people can function really well. Being together constantly because they know how to separate their own lives, even though they're together constantly, right? So. Even though you know you guys are together 24/7. You're not fully interacting 24/7. It's like you guys are both doing your own school work in different rooms. You guys are, you know, doing certain activities without one another. You're not constantly. Yes, you're constantly together, but you're not. Consciously conscious, constantly together. God, that was a tongue twister. Consciously, constantly together. You guys have a separation mentally, because you have your own things going on. You guys have your own lives. Maybe he goes out and goes for a run and you go out. And like, you know, like to sit in the park and write poetry. I don't ******* know. But you see what I'm saying? I think when it gets toxic is when you guys are constantly. Interacting and like constantly checking in on what the other person is doing and. You know. Not letting the other person do anything on their own. Like let's say your boyfriend wants to go on a run. You're like, I need to come on every run like, it's like there needs to be some distance, you guys need to do some stuff, separate. As long as that's happening, I think it's fine. But I do think that distance in relationships is so ******* important because. Especially at a young age. You still need to form your own identity. I love spending time with. Dudes, when I'm dating them, it's my favorite thing on the planet. It's like an escape. It's great because I love them and I like to look at them and it's amazing. Don't get me wrong. It's like the best thing ever. That sounded really creepy. I like to look at them, but you know what I'm saying? Like, right? It's like being with your significant other is like when you, you know when you're in a positive and healthy relationship. It's like the best **** ever. It's like. You feel like? Relief almost. It's like, OK, finally it's like. Something that can help me escape from my problems and make me feel like I'm in a dream world, you know what I mean? That's kind of what a relationship is sometimes. And I think that maintaining that. Escape quality with your significant other is so important. So even if you guys are spending all like all day together, technically like you guys are in close proximity all day, still having each other as an escape at the end of the day when you're done with your work, when you're done with school and being able to escape into them at the end of the day. I think that that's so important, but the only way to maintain that is. To have different interests, to have different hobbies, to do different activities throughout the day and not do everything together. That's a huge priority for me. And I think it it really. Creates a stronger relationship. But it is hard because it's like when you love somebody, you want to do everything with them. But it it I find that spending too much time with your significant other, too much conscious time with your significant other. Can make things go stale, you know, and it ruins the excitement. That's why it's good to kind of spice things up, go on a trip without them every once in a while, stuff like that. Somebody said hi Emma, I'm blonde right now and I bleach my hair every two months and I really want to dye it dark because of seeing your videos because my hair is so dead. I'm not sure though, because my family and friends say I shouldn't. If I die a dark brown or black, can I still die back to blonde later? Also, where will this really damage my hair? So we're going to touch on three things within this number one, your family and friends are telling you not to do it. That's not up to them. I had a few people that were telling me not to dye my hair dark. And then the second I did it, they were like, wait, you're right, this actually looks really good. So that should tell you right there that like. It's nobody else's decision but yours. Make that decision up yourself. Don't listen to anybody else. Yes, it can be helpful to have some advice, and yes, some people might have good advice, but when it comes to something as mundane as a hair color, that really is up to you. And you're the one that has to look at it in the mirror every day, so I would say. Trust yourself. As for dyeing it dark and then going back to blonde, that's super damaging and I know that because I asked them when I went from blonde to brown, I was like, is there any way I can go back to blonde if I hate it? And they were like, yes, but it's going to be very damaging. So make up your mind and I was like, OK, I will be. Brown forever. I'm OK. So. Going blonde is tough because that **** just damages you for. Ever. But it's so fun, and blondes have so much more fun. I do miss being blonde a little bit. Let me look in the mirror. Actually, I like the brown now. It's growing on me, but it's it's been it's been a rough journey anyway. I would say go Brown. **** it. Don't listen to anybody. Get your hair hair back healthy and. Follow your gut. Next one somebody said tips on how to know when you like someone or if you're just attracted to them. Love you, Emma. This actually makes me want to talk about something interesting that my friend told me about and I want. It's something like. I don't know if it's from a book or from like an article, but let me pull it up. OK, I can't find it online so. Whoops. Actually, wait. I found it. Oh my God, I found it. The three loves theory love. Number one is infatuation, and it's an obsessive interest or desire. Desire for somebody, usually based on their physical or behavioral characteristics. A lot of fantasizing in it's usually sexual. So this is kind of like, you know what you're referring to, where you just find somebody attractive and you're kind of fantasizing about the rest. They probably don't fit in the rest of your criteria. Probably not perfect for you personality wise. Probably wouldn't be a good fit. But you're so physically attracted to them, so infatuated by them, that. You kind of love them for their physical appearance. The next one is a romantic love. It's highly passionate. It produces a relationship with high emotional highs. In low emotional lows and your partner becomes addictive, almost like a drug. This is kind of like a dependent relationship. This is where. It's almost. 2. You're you're too into the person to a point where it's toxic, and you're too obsessed. It seems like what the person. Then it becomes toxic and. You feel like you can't live without them. Which is not good, because I think in a really healthy relationship you love this person. You choose to be with them every day, and you would not want your life without them, but you also know that you would be fine without them. And that actually leads us into the third one, which is commitment. A defined commitment to a single person to share your life with them for an indefinite amount of time, shared identity, goals, values, and visions for the future. This is the most healthy one because I think it's the most balanced and I think in in the third love. What is it concept I don't know? It's a lot more of a rational love with somebody it's like. OK, I. Love this person. Because they have everything that I need, but I also. Have balance with them and it's healthy, blah blah blah. So I think your goal should always be the third type of love. But inevitably in life we're going to experience probably all three of those love types a bazillion times. Except for not the third one. The first two you might experience multiple times, but I think the third one. Is kind of who you end up sticking with, at least for majority of your adulthood, unless you get a divorce, which happens. Take it from me, but you're probably going to experience infatuation and romance. The first two quite a few times. To answer your question, which is how to know, basically, if you're dealing with infatuation, love, or you're just attracted to them on the outside, ask yourself this. And this is something I always ask myself in relationships, and it's the toughest pill to swallow, but it's. Would I be friends with this person if there was no romantic element? Would I be friends with this person if? We weren't romantic with one another, and if the answer is yes, then I think. There's a potential there. And it may not be just surface level, it may actually be something deeper. But don't lie to yourself, because I've only in my life had one relationship where I could fully say to myself in the mirror. With no. Lie. In the back of my throat. That I would truly date that person or no, I would truly be friends with that person even if we weren't dating. Now listen, it's hard to put yourself in that spot because you're like, OK, but like, now I know what it's like in a relationship and it's really good. And like, I wouldn't want to be friends with them. But I also know that if this person was in my life and for some reason I wasn't romantically attracted to them, we would be best friends. Like without that element. Sorry, I'm itching my armpit cause I have ringworm and it won't go away. I can't tell if it's eczema or ringworm, but it really looks like ringworm so I think it's ringworm. But anyway, look at yourself in the mirror and be like, would I hang out with this person if we were not romantically involved at all? And don't lie to yourself, I dated a guy once for literally. God like oh decent amount of time. And I knew the whole time I would not. Ever be friends with this person? Really like without the ulterior motive of wanting to date them? And as ****** ** as it is, that was the ******* truth of it. That's happened to me multiple times, but especially in one scenario I'm thinking about. I knew it, the whole relationship that we aren't compatible. Friends wise, we don't have anything in common. If anything we clash in that area. But I was so physically attracted to this person that I just could not. Let go and realize like, wait, this **** doesn't work. So yeah. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just that's to get this limited time offer today. Again, that's But I actually want to talk a little bit more about these three types of love because I think it's so interesting. I've experienced the second type as well, which is the romantic one which is really passionate, crazy high and lows and your partner becomes addictive, almost like a drug. I've experienced this type of relationship and. It is so emotionally taxing. Like, I know that this isn't really a part of advice session and this isn't really like giving you advice, but it's like. Actually, I am going to give advice about it and my advice is that if you're in a relationship with like that. It's that's not the type of relationship you want to be in, and the the hard part is it's hard to distinguish. The romantic relationship, the really addictive drug like 1 to the commitment type of relationship where you want to spend your life with this person because you're like, holy **** I can't live without this person and you think that, but. The problem is is that. In a super addictive relationship. It's not. It's normally very toxic, and that's my personal experience with a relationship that had crazy highs and lows. And I was like so addicted to them. I was miserable. I forgot who I was. I only lived my everyday life for them. But like, not in a way that was positive, because I think that in the third type, the commitment type. That shows a healthier version. Of the addictive relationship, the committed relationship is like, yes, I think about them all day. I'm very in love with them. They're my best friend. They're perfect, blah, blah, blah. I yes, I think about them constantly, but there's not those those highs and lows. There's this element of stability within it, where you still have time to explore who you are as a person. Your life kind of revolves around them, but not in a way that's like. Life sucking. It's like, yeah, my day, my life revolves around them because I love them and I'm excited to see them at the end of the day. Or I'm excited to go get lunch with them in the middle of the day, but it's like I'm not. Destroying my own life for this person. I'm not cancelling every plan that I have for this person. I'm not sacrificing any of my own **** for them. There's a balance. And that's super important to find. Anyway. Next somebody said how do I get rid of my ******* eye bags? I've tried almost everything. I feel you because I used to have the same problem until I realized that they are genetic and. They're going to be there forever. I don't really have eye bags. I have more dark circles, but a lot of people get those two confused. But regardless, under eye bags, dark circles, whatever you may be struggling with in the eye department, there's a decent chance that it's genetic. A lot of that is genetic. And no matter if you get a 12 hour night of sleep or you get a 2 hour night of sleep, you're still going to have them. And my key is to. Embrace them. I used to hate my dark circles, but now I like genuinely like them. Like I think that they look cool. And they make me look like a ******* rock star from the 80s. And that's all I want. I'm a simple gal, OK? Embrace it. I mean, of course there's certain things that you can do, you know? Of course you can try to get more sleep. Of course there's certain, like. Cooling eye products that you can put under your eyes that help with depuffing depuffing and stuff like that, but at the end of the day. If you're getting your sleep. And you're doing your skin care and they're still there. That probably means it's genetic. And embrace that ****. There's nothing wrong with it. Somebody said how to deal with bad gut feelings that have no solid proof. Oh my God, I struggle with this so bad because I have a pretty good intuition. In general, I find that my intuition is. Pretty on point. Most of the time. But I also have really, really bad anxiety. And so sometimes. My anxiety will make me believe that I'm having. Intuitive thoughts about something when in reality it's just my anxiety talking. And the way that I distinguish anxiety from intuition is that. Whenever I'm anxious. And I know that I'm anxious. I ignore both intuitive and anxious feelings and just exist until they go away because I cannot make it rational decision when I'm anxious. I cannot distinguish what's anxiety and what's a gut feeling when I'm in a really anxious moment. And so I just wait until I'm feeling a little bit more rational because anxiety comes in waves. At least for me, I'm not. Constantly in a crazy state of anxiety, there's moments that are really bad and there's moments that are much, much better. And so in a moment where it's much, much better, that's when I do some self reflection and I'm like, OK. Let's assess this feeling. Of intuition. And let's really weigh it out and really think about it. But I try not to. Do that much when I'm in an anxious moment because I know that I'm not being rational. A lot of the times your anxiety is lying to you. And. You just can't mix the two. When you're anxious, you just can't. Because there's been so many times when I've been convinced. That something bad had happened to somebody I love. That something bad was going to happen to me. That I was sick. That like, you know, I was something was wrong with my body, like I needed to go to the doctor or something like that because I had this weird intuitive feeling, but I was so anxious that I couldn't tell. And then it turned out everything was fine. I was just anxious. It wasn't intuition. I've had other times where I've been in a more calm state and I've had a feeling. Of intuition. I had a gut feeling about something, and I ended up being right because it wasn't being clouded by my anxiety. So I trusted my gut feeling a lot quicker that day because I wasn't super anxious. You know what I mean? Somebody said I'm going to combine these next two. Somebody said I've been feeling really irritable lately, mostly with my dad. Everything he does annoys me and makes me frustrated. When he walks in the room, the energy becomes negative. I don't know what to do. And then somebody else says I love being alone. But it's gotten to the point where I hate being in the same room as my own family, even if it's just one person and I don't have problems with any of them. What is wrong with me? To both of you, I say this is completely a product of what we're going through right now as a world, right? Especially. You know, at least where. I live, which is in the United States. We have been forced, some of us have been forced to be around our family so much more than normal. It's not normal to be around your family. Sometimes 24 hours a day, sometimes seven days a week. That's not normal. But now people are working from home, people are doing school from home, all of that. And of course you're going to start getting irritable around these people. You're you're around them too much with no break. It's impossible not to get frustrated with somebody. At least a little bit when you're around them constantly, not to mention. Your family already has like. You already have a shorter fuse for your family than you do for like your friends or you know your significant other like. You're already. Halfway there with your family, you know what I mean? It's like the room for front frustration with family is like there's a lot more room for that than there is for maybe friends or significant other. You're already halfway to anger constantly. That's the resting position. Don't be hard on yourself. Try to find any way you can to get out of the house anyway that have distance from them. Whether that means going on a walk, whether that means walking to the ******* 711 down the street and like getting a bag of. Cheetos and sitting on the curb and eating them by yourself and having that moment, whatever kind of moment you can have right now, in this time to yourself, is going to help your all your relationships so much. And that's honestly what I would say. Somebody said I need advice on how to keep friends who don't agree with you on political things. I just think you need. To not engage in these conversations and as important as. This stuff is, I think, that. A lot of people. Feel the need to talk about it with their friends and, you know, stuff like that. And that's understandable. But if you don't share the same views as your friend and a political conversation wouldn't get either of you anywhere. You just need to have a conversation with your friend and be like, listen, I have my views. You have yours. And. We're never going to agree on this. So it would probably be better if we just didn't talk about it at all. It'd be probably better if we just avoided the whole thing altogether and see what they say. And if they're not down for that, then they're. You know, maybe somebody you need to distance yourself from for a little bit because they clearly don't understand that. Like. You know. Sometimes compromises need to be made in a friendship. And if they're not OK with not discussing political stuff, then maybe it's just not the right friend match for you. Simple as that. You're not going to agree with your friends on everything. There are things that I don't agree with my friends on. Sometimes **** ****. Sometimes like, oh, I don't like pizza, you like pizza. You know, something done. I love pizza, by the way. But like, you know what I'm saying? You're not going to agree with everybody on everything. And sometimes those things are just better, not discussed at all. They can discuss that with somebody else, somebody who shares a similar view. I think that when conversations with differing opinions are had. In respectful and educational ways. That's great, but that's also not always going to be the case. Sorry, it's just not. At a certain point, if you're talking about something that you disagree on. It's probably going to become negative at some point. And usually people aren't willing to budge on their opinions. So. Request to not discuss. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted, I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. A playlist generated automatically just sounds different than one that an individual is controlling based on their passions and tastes. And with 10s of millions of licensed songs to choose from, everyone will find the music that appeals to them. But it's not just music. You can have a talk show, or react to news, or riff on pop culture, and that's one of the best parts about being a podcast host. You can just riff. On whatever. Excites your mind on any given day. So download AMP today in the App Store that's a amp, or ask Alexa to play amp. Somebody said advice on how to wear weirder clothes with confidence. Funny story. Today I actually posted a photo on my Instagram in an outfit that was definitely a little bit eccentric. And honestly, kind of ugly. Like? I'm wearing a. Skirt that I thrifted which? It might have been from the target. Kids section, actually, possibly, but I liked it. It's like. Kind of reminds me of something I would have worn in elementary school. It's like this striped pink brown green skirt that has these cool pleats in it and I'm wearing a button up shirt that's blue that kind of has these cool 70s circle imprints on it. And I'm wearing a pink jacket and I'm wearing some knee high black boots. And I really like this outfit because although it was a little bit weird, although it was a little bit eccentric, it kind of reminded me of. Something like a Barbie would wear or something. Somebody commented on my photo and said that it's something that a Polly pocket would wear, and although it's something that I maybe wouldn't wear in public, I really liked it and I was inspired by it and I really loved how all the pieces looked together and. I think it's a cool outfit. But a lot of people were like Emma. This is so ******* ugly and stupid. Like I was getting genuinely hated on for this outfit and I lost followers. People started unfollowing me from zavid. You can go look at it. It's the post that I posted on January 20th. And people were not having it like, they just didn't like the outfit my. Mindset behind putting this over together was I? I like it because. I think that fashion should be looked at as an art, right? If that's the way you want to look at it, I mean, some people don't want to look at it like that. Some people are like, fashion is convenience. For me, I totally get that too. But for me, I like to look at fashion as an art form and if putting together. An outfit that looks like a Polly pocket from the 70s excites me. I'm going to do that. And I'm going to share it with the world, because there might be a few people that will get inspiration from it. And there was I got quite a few comments too, that were like, wait, Emma, this outfit is so weird, but it's like kind of dope. That was inspiring to somebody. I've never seen an outfit like the one that I wore in this photo. And I like that about it. I like that. I haven't seen anybody wear an outfit like it. That's what's inspiring to me. And even if some people don't like it, even if some people want to unfollow me because they thought my outfit was stupid, if people think I'm crazy for it, like, whatever, I don't care because I like it. Putting that outfit together makes me feel creative. And that's all that matters. I felt confident in that outfit. So who gives a ****? Also, fashion is so incredibly subjective, it's unbelievable. That's another thing to remember. Literally. All it takes is one person. Who has influence and who thinks something is cool? All it takes is one person to wear an outfit like that. Is weird, but that has influence and that people respect. In the fashion world, for it to become trendy, that's all it takes. When it comes to having confidence in wearing weird stuff, I would say remember that number one. It's subjective and you could wear something tomorrow that in a year everybody's wearing. Who knows? It doesn't really matter. Clothes is something that just. Covers up your inappropriate body parts. That's really, at the end of the day, what it is. If you want to start dressing a little weirder, do it because you might inspire somebody and that's a really exciting thing to think about. I don't want to wear what everybody else is wearing because that's not going to inspire anybody. I want to do something that nobody's ever seen before. I want to ruffle some feathers. I like that because that's exciting and I have a passion for that. I don't have a passion for copying what everybody else is doing, and I've done that for a long time. But this outfit was a an example of me just kind of having fun with it and stepping outside of my box. And I think, and I think it's actually a cool outfit. People can say what they want. They cannot like it. I don't care. I think it's ******* cool and that's all that matters. And guess what? If I wear it, if I wore that to the grocery store, I didn't because I literally don't leave my house. But if I were to warn that to the grocery store, I can guarantee I would have at least gotten one compliment because it's different. People like seeing something different. It's eye-catching. It's something cool. I may have gotten a few dirty looks, but that one compliment. Means you're doing something right. And even if they compliment it because it challenged them a little bit, in their mind doesn't matter. Have fun with it, because having fun with clothes is so ******* fun. It's so fun, and who cares what anybody else thinks? Most of the time you're never going to see them again. And when it comes to people at school, they can't. People at school can suck my ***. I literally. People at your school, if they try to give you **** trust me, if you start doing some dope stuff, they're gonna be wearing the same stuff in six months. Somebody said how do you enjoy going out alone? I. Think my key to this, although sometimes I struggle with anxiety, with going out alone, and especially recently because you know, now going out in general and like even going to the store is like difficult. It's like. Almost impossible not to be kind of uncomfortable by it now these days, at least for me. But what I've found is I use going out and doing things by myself as a time to catch up with myself, almost like I'm my own friend and to check in on my own mind and instead of focusing on. What everybody else is doing around me, I try my absolute best to kind of. Focus my energy and my. Thoughts inwards and reflect on myself. And use my alarm time to do that rather than, you know, being all weirded out about what everybody else is doing. Because at the end of the day. Most of the time, everybody else is also just looking inwards, so it doesn't really matter. Umm. I remember I used to eat at restaurants alone sometimes and people would definitely stare at me and give me weird looks, but I loved it because. Once I would get over the beginning hump of anxiety with it. I could, like, you know. Read an article about something I could listen to. A podcast I could listen to music I could. Just enjoy my food and reflect on. You know how I'm doing in my own life and it's a beautiful thing. It's like. It's really great. I think it's just learning how to fall in love with spending time with yourself and the only way to do that is just by doing it as much as you can. Anyway, that's it for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed. If you have any topics that you want me to talk about, anything specific, it can be literally anything. Tweet at me at AG podcast. Also, follow us on the Twitter at AG podcast to keep up to date with podcast related stuff. You can give us a five stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a little review that just helps me stay in the loop about, you know, how you guys are feeling about the podcast and it's a great way for me to get feedback, so I really appreciate it. You can subscribe on Spotify, Apple podcasts anywhere you get your podcasts. I love you guys so much. And. I'll see you next week. I'm going to leave you with one piece of homework, and my one piece of homework is to cook a new recipe this week. Cook something new. I'll actually give you something to cook if you're somebody who likes broccoli. I found this really amazing and super easy broccoli recipe and it is. I'll read it off to you and you can write it down if you'd like. It's so good. OK, here's how you make it. Obviously you don't have to make this, but I want. I encourage you to cook something, but this is my favorite broccoli recipe right now. You mix 2 tablespoons of tahini, 3 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice, two large cloves of garlic, minced. 1/2 a teaspoon of kosher salt, a few grinds of black pepper, 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Mix that all together, then add. Probably a tablespoon of zatar. Seasoning. If you don't have that though, I think you could probably go without it. Maybe add parsley or something. Umm, but I do love the flavor of it, so if you can find that at your grocery store, definitely add that. And then you take 4 cups of broccoli. And you cut all the stems off and you mix it all up together. With the sauce. Super easy. Of an at 450 degrees. Parchment paper. Put it on the pan. Layout all of the broccoli. Nice and spread out. Put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Delicious broccoli. Literally so good. I'm obsessed with it. Like, I literally made some tonight and I ate so much of it, but I like think I'm going to finish off all of it that I roasted, even though eating too many vegetables will give me gas. But I'm willing to go do it, so I'm going to go eat my broccoli and I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to this episode and I'll see you next week. Bye. Oh, also, tweet at me if you cook something. I'd love to see what you guys cooked. OK, love you guys. Bye. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with Hart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping give me an overwhelming process. Plus people are uncertain about a lot these days. Hard Nissan, recognize that. So we rolled up a heart rewards program. All new and pre-owned vehicle purchases. Get one year identity theft protection 3 Virginia State inspections and multi point inspections. One year tire Rd Hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle. Change and every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing. Offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course, money. Exactly. And we have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. right, you got it., or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. Use your head and trust your heart. Maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with Tier 1. Approval with MC dealer. Full details.