Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

advice session #5

advice session #5

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 10:00

You’re asking and Emma is answering. Lots of questions this week on topics like eating and body image issues, navigating toxic content on TikTok, and what to do if your significant other keeps liking provocative photos on social media. Plus, when is it right to take that next step in a relationship, and is body hair really that big of a deal? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Listen to Episode

Copyright © EFC LLC.

Read Episode Transcript

Ramble no one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement. Loans from principal and visit us at business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group, but it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit Hi, everyone. Welcome back to anything goes. Good morning. It's always morning for me when I record these. I don't know what time you guys listen. I'm feeling very, very chill and relaxed today, very level headed. For the first time in a long time because I've been kind of crazy the last few weeks, like, I don't know what's going on, but the last few weeks I've been very high anxiety, very paranoid, very. Crazy and, like emotionally unstable, but today is like one of the first days that I felt relatively stable. Which is why I decided, you know what, Emma record an advice session because it's a great time for me to give advice right now when I'm feeling normal. Thank God. I'll catch you up on the last few weeks. I'm pre recording this so this is going to come out in like 2 weeks, but tomorrow I have the relaunch of Chamberlain Coffee which by the time you listen to this everybody will have seen it. That is tomorrow. I am definitely nervous and the last few weeks have been very. Stressful for me because I'm so nervous. I feel like I'm kind of at a place now where I'm like, you know what? **** it like it's going out tomorrow. There's nothing I can do. I have an amazing team. They're covering all their bases, making sure everything is perfect. I've been making sure everything's perfect. Everything seems perfect. Whatever, let's just do it. I feel like I'm kind of accepting the fact that it's tomorrow and I'm not as freaked out anymore, but for the past few weeks. But for the past few weeks, I've been. Very just tense and nervous and I didn't really know why and I think it was because of this relaunch. It's just like when you put a lot of work and time into something and then. It's finally time for everyone to see. It's very uncomfortable and nerve wracking and I think that that was causing me a lot of anxiety underlying and then I was just projecting it onto other things and you know, just the normal girl stuff. Not even girl stuff. The **** normal humans ****. Umm. I don't know why I said that, but. It's normal human **** you know what I mean? Whatever. But I'm feeling a lot more chill today. Huh? So I'm ready to give you guys some advice. We're going to go straight into it today, get straight into the. The heat of it, right? I feel like the last few weeks, energetically in the universe have been a little off. I know a lot of people have been feeling really, really stressed and depressed and anxious and like it's just been a really tough few weeks and I feel like I say that every week. So maybe that's just the state of the planet in general right now, but I do feel like the last few weeks have been a little worse, and I don't know why, at least for me. And even my dad was telling me that he's been feeling very, like, stressed and upset, and he's generally a very chill guy. So the fact that, like, he's feeling it is a sign a lot of my friends have been feeling super bummed out. I've been feeling really bummed out. The vibes have been off with everything. I feel like a lot of people have felt really disconnected from the planet and that, you know. The energies of the planet and I think. Personally, I'm starting to come back to Earth a little bit, but it's been a rough few weeks. A lot of bad energy in. The universe and so. I think a lot of people are feeling that, and I was definitely seeing a lot of **** about that in my DM's and on the Twitter about things like that and just whatever. So I thought it would be a good time to just kind of talk about those things and my experiences within the last few weeks. And you know what? Without further ado, let me take a sip of coffee and we'll get into it. All right, someone said. Hi Emma, I'm going to DMS and some scared of my friends seeing the response to your tweet. Totally fine. If you guys ever wanna DM me stuff. I am constantly checking that anything goes DMS. I may not respond, but I'm reading and ready to address. In the episode, so keep that in mind, but anyway. I'm struggling a lot with my body right now and eating, so can you please give some tips on how to eat? Because I just can't and if I do, I suddenly go throw up and I know that it's not healthy. OK, so number one, this is very triggering, so if you would like to skip ahead a little bit, I'll probably only talk about this for a few minutes. But I totally get it if it's triggering and so feel free to skip. But I also feel like what I might say might be kind of reassuring. So. We'll see. I talk about this relatively frequently in most advice sessions. Usually something regarding food or body image comes up. And to be completely honest with you, I don't have the answers. I don't have it figured out. I struggle with this stuff myself. I've always struggled with this since I was probably 12 or 13 I've had. On and off. Severe and not severe struggles with this. And so I totally get it. Totally, totally get it. And. I can try to give some advice, but I know that it's so much easier said than done. And there is no right way to fix this or to move past this, but I do want to say that. I think a lot of people are struggling with body image right now, and I'm saying that because I got a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of DM's about this. A lot. And I just want to say that you guys are not alone. It's been really tough on social media recently because I feel like especially on Tik T.O.K, there's been a lot of triggering content. I don't know if you guys are watching Tik T.O.K or on. Instagram reels or like, whatever. I don't know what you guys used to pass time, but like, I've been seeing a lot of really triggering content on the Internet recently, but tick tock and like reels, Instagram reels being the. Primary source of that content and you know some examples would be. Like? You know what I eat in a day? Videos that are clearly not healthy habits. That's one thing I've been seeing a lot. And another one being, you know, all these hacks on how to lose weight or hacks on how to not be bloated, or like all this stuff about weight loss. How to keep the weight off once you get up? Like all this **** right? Even like girls. I I know one thing went on went viral on tick tock of like you know a girl who was. Kind of. Showing off her body when she has an eating disorder clearly. And she stated that I've not assuming that she stated that she has an eating disorder and but she was kind of also showing off. There's a bunch of debate. I don't know what my opinion is. I don't want to get into it, but like a lot of people were really triggered because she was saying clearly that she had needing disorder but was also kind of showing off her physique regardless, which is kind of contradictory when you're promoting, you know? Let's all heal together. But then, you know, she's kind of. Showing off in a sense. Her malnourished body, and that's very triggering. So a lot of people were really triggered by that, and I saw a bunch of uproar about that. And so in general, I'm not commenting on that because that's just not my journey and not my place. And, you know, I'm absolutely wishing her and everybody else that's struggling with this the best. And I know how toxic the mindset can be. And so I'm not going to judge or say anything, but the point of me bringing all that up is that a lot of this **** is getting views right now. It's being pushed in the algorithm for some reason. I know my for you page has a lot of triggering **** on it. And you know, not only that, but I think that. There is a very toxic. Obsession with body image right now on the Internet and I don't really get it. Like I don't get where it came from or where it started. I feel like we were doing so good as like a community on the Internet of like, you know, not. Being like that, but you know with all this triggering content. Going viral right now. It's inevitable that a lot of people who tend to. Have issues with this stuff, are gonna be struggling with this right now. And me included. Me ******* included. I am no exception. I. I'm very, very prone to this stuff and I can only imagine that a lot of you guys are too, but what I've found helps me a lot is. Listen, going on your phone and looking at **** online is inevitable, right? Totally. I'm not going to say put your phone down and not don't look at your phone ever again. No, it's impossible. The first tip is to mute people or unfollow people that. Make. This is worse for you. If you follow somebody that you know posts weight loss content and that triggers, you unfollow them. It's weird because I feel like people allow themselves to see things that hurt them. Like even like if you're in a relationship and you like are obsessed with stalking, you know? Your significant others acts or you, you know, love looking at your ex boyfriend's Instagram or something like, you know what I mean? People love to look at that ****. Take initiative so that you don't let yourself see that stuff. It's hard because sometimes you're like, **** but I'm so curious and like, this stuff satisfies an itch almost like, whatever, but it's not healthy. There's a lot of things that we have access to that that are not healthy. So remove those things from your feed. As much as you can, and when it comes to stuff like Tik T.O.K and you're on your for you page, follow a bunch of funny accounts that you love and instead of going on your for you page where some ****** content could be. Forced down your throat? Go through your following tab instead. Just try to avoid this content that can be triggering. I've I've been really having to do that because I think it's just so toxic right now and it's so depressing and upsetting to see and not good for my brain personally. So I've been like, you know what? I'm just going to mute people, block people, ******* unfollow people, ******* do whatever I need to do so that I'm not seeing this ****. Because guess what? At the end of the day, it's no one else's fault. What? How your brain processes things. You have to take that initiative. It's not cool when people post things that are, that are promoting toxic diet culture and stuff like that. It sucks. It's not good. People shouldn't be posting **** like that. It sucks. But at the same time, you know, people can do whatever they want. You cannot control what other people do. So you have to take that initiative and you have to avoid that content. If you are on your for you page and you see it, you swipe past it, it might hurt. You might want to kind of watch it, but just do everything in your power to not see that. Enough. And that really, really helps, because you get so sucked into the Internet world and you start thinking that all that's real life, but if you avoid the **** that makes you upset and you watch the **** that makes you feel good, whether that's cooking videos, whether that's funny videos, whatever the ****. Horror movies, whatever. I don't care. Whatever you watch that makes you feel good. Do that, watch that, consume that stuff. And when it comes to, you know. Trying to heal from. Disordered behavior. It is an ongoing journey. I say this every single time. Please seek help if you can. Or if you feel like it's truly needed, I think most people who struggle with this need help, and most of them don't get the help that they need. Please get help it. Really, really. Changes things and can give you a new perspective. And also remember that. There's so much more to life. Then that ****. There's so much more to life. There's so much fun to be had. With food and with socializing around food and with enjoying the flavor of food and like, you know, with it nourishing your body, it's so important. And when you're not feeding your body properly, you feel like ****. You feel so terrible. You feel you have no energy. You can't exercise. You can't. You don't have the energy to walk around. It affects your moods, like it's it's terrible. It ruins your quality of life. And you know, I get it. It's it's more than just. Wanting to look a certain way sometimes too, it's like it helps with anxiety sometimes, like it makes you feel like you're in control and all that. But it doesn't matter, because when you turn that off and you reroute and food becomes. Something that you associate with happiness again. It will be so much better for you long term. You don't wanna **** ** your organs. You don't wanna **** ** your brain. You want to keep yourself in the best shape that you can so that you can live a long and healthy life and you can have kids and you can raise those kids and have a beautiful family. There's so much to look forward to. Don't waste your time. Focusing on food. Put food into your body that you're proud of. Enjoy it. And that's that. I wish that I had a solid answer. I wish that there was a clear way to fix all this, but just know that everybody's struggling with this right now, because on social media it's so ******* prevalent and it's awful. But we're all dealing with this right now more than normal. Moving on. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just that's to get this limited time offer today again, that's, someone said I'm scared for one of my friends because her mom got cancer for the second time and I don't know how to be there for her. I text her everyday, but I don't know how to make her feel better. This is definitely one of the hardest things to deal with ever. When someone you love is struggling. Or dealing with something that's so terrifying. And so. Beyond upsetting and trying to know like trying to navigate what to say and how to be there is so emotionally challenging I. I know what you're feeling. It's the hardest thing. To figure out and to navigate and for starters, I want to say don't be hard on yourself because no one knows. How to deal with this **** it is. Really, really hard to know what to say. In these situations. But. The key. At least from my experience. Is. Continue to offer support even if they're not asking for it. Continue to check in daily. If they don't respond for a week, don't take it personal. It's not about you right now. You know what I mean? They're dealing with such a terrible thing. That their emotions are going to be all over the place. Be gentle with them. Be patient with them. Offer support. If they don't accept the offer, don't put pressure on them. Just constantly be giving them a stream of support and they'll take it when they need it, but if they don't need it. That's OK, but continue to offer it and. Remind them. How strong they are. And how brave they are. And remind them that you love them and that you'll always be there for them. Give them space, but also don't give them too much space. Because something that I learned the hard way was when someone is dealing with something like this, giving them too much space to you may seem like, Oh well, they I don't want to be getting like, I don't know what to do. So it's better if I say less than say too much. I don't want to like, make things worse. So like, I'm going to step away a little bit. It's very easy to do that because you think, Oh well. They're, you know, I I need to give them space because they don't want me like all up in their business right now. Like they're dealing with their own ****. Well, The thing is when you're going through something that emotional in that scary. It's hard to be like. Hey, I need support. They're so emotionally exhausted, I don't think that they're able to. Ask for that most of the time, so you have to. Give it. Whether they're asking for it or not, and if they don't accept it, it doesn't matter, because it's the fact that you're there and that you're checking in, and so even it it might feel like you're annoying them or something because they're not responding, but that's most likely not the case unless you're, like, harassing them. I'm not saying that, like just checking in on them daily or every other day, making sure that they're doing OK. If it's somebody who's really close to you, even if they don't accept it, you need to understand that there's so much going on. That you are not aware of in the you aren't feeling yourself. So give them space, but also give them that love and when they're ready to accept it from you. Be there to give it your all you know and that's the best that you can do. But also, this is all out of your control, you know? So don't be hard on yourself. Just do your best, OK? Because at the end of the day, no one's perfect and nobody knows how to handle these situations perfectly. There is no formula, there is no rulebook. Yes, you can read articles about how to help and how to you know what to say, but it's like even then, at every situation is so different and so be easy on yourself. But don't give up. Next. Help me amber. I love that everybody calls me EMBA now. It's so funny. Thank you to all of you for coming up with my own new, individual, unique nickname. I love it. Help me, amber. What do you do when a person you like very much slowly fades away? Did I do something wrong? Anyway, I love you so much. I love you so much too. Does that make sense? I also love you so much. No, you did not do anything wrong at all. You could like someone so much. In the beginning, but then throughout your guys's relationship or throughout your guys's friendship, whatever it is. I don't know if you guys are dating or not, but. Humans are constantly growing. In evolving and people grow at different rates. And I was actually watching a video about this today about. Marrying young and stuff like that and like the philosophy behind it. And. It's super interesting to me because they were talking about how you know when you're in your 20s or late teen years, you're still finding yourself. Like you still have so much finding yourself to do, right? And when you're in your younger years, like every month can be so different. Like, I look at myself six months ago, whole different human being. I swear to God, I literally reinvent myself once a month. I like him different every single month. There is no two months where I am the same person. I learned so much every day. I learn more about myself, learn more about the world, learn more about what I care about, what my morals are. Me a year ago, me two years ago. Different person. Completely different person. And I am constantly changing and everybody is. So if some time passes in, your feelings for, you know, a significant other fade, that's probably just because you are growing at a different pace than this other person. Same thing happens with friendships. I've had friendships where somebody was my best ******* friend, but then I grew and we didn't align anymore. And yes, you feel bad because you're like **** like that's that sucks. Like, why do we not click anymore? But that's OK because that's normal. Everybody's growing at a different rate. At some point they might catch up to you and you guys might be able to be friends again like you were before, but it's just like. People. Are always growing and sometimes when. You're growing with someone, you guys can grow apart and that is so normal and with some people. You know, you help each other grow and so, you know, the journey is a lot more intertwined and that can be like that with some relationships. I know that there's some relationships that I've been in where I'm like. The reason why I've grown is because of this person and I've kind of, you know, grown to their level in a sense, because they've shown me new perspectives and **** and made me want to grow and like, that's amazing and that's definitely an option as well. But sometimes, you know, you grow apart and there's nothing wrong with that. And that just means that it's not the right time or it's not the right person anymore, and that is OK and this ****** going to happen again and again in your life. Until you find your hopefully lifelong partner, which is seems like it's very outdated now. Everybody's like, ohh, although I want a lifelong partner for Fox sake, like, I don't want to be like floating around from dude to dude for the rest of my life. So even though that may seem a little bit outdated of like a life partner, I definitely want that. Like I wanna be Oh my God, the other day this is so off topic, But the other day I was at a mall and there was like, it was like an outdoor mall and I was trying to find these pants that I wanted. Didn't find them, but whatever. And there was a live band. In the middle of the park at this mall and there is this old woman sitting in a wheelchair and her husband was pushing her around. And I got choked up. Thinking about. That. Super off topic, but I literally almost started crying. I was like, that is the sweetest **** I've ever seen and like imagine like being with somebody for like 50 years and then you guys are both. Oh, then I just get I like never. That **** never made me emotional until recently and I don't know what has happened to me anyway. Somebody said. I feel like I'm stuck in an endless cycle of doing things. Same thing over and over again every week and I don't have any motivation for anything anymore. Do you have any advice? Everyone's feeling like this. There is no escaping it. I am so sorry. It is. I've tried everything. I've started going to the beach, I started, I'm buying a drum set like I. There's so many things I've tried to do and I'm so sorry, but we're this is just the climate we're in. Like it will pass, but it's just we've all been so isolated. For so long that it is just inevitable at this point. Everybody's burnout, everybody's ******* sick and tired of it. It, you know, you just have to ride the wave. And I mean, obviously there's things that help it any any ******* activity that you can do, I swear to God, just do something like you. Anything. Organize your closet, ******* go online shopping. Make a ******* folder of clothes that you think that your friend should buy. Like do something, anything that will pass the time. I swear to God, we'll get through this. I feel like 2021's gonna be actually really amazing and I don't wanna jinx it, so I will knock on wood. But. Let's just ride this wave. Everybody's feeling this. It will pass, and when it does pass, it's going to feel so ******* good. So just be patient. OK. Some of this is a little bit more of like a mature question and maybe I'll answer it. I don't know. My demographic is on here, but you know what? I'm a big kid. I'm 19, so I'm it's like ******* seven years old in the human. I feel like 19 is so young. But whatever, someone said hi, I'm, I'm super insecure about my body hair, especially downstairs. I have a lot and I feel constant pressure to shave or wax, to feel hot, and it's so tiring to do it everyday. Thoughts? OK, so here's my experience. I don't think it really. I really genuinely. Don't think it matters. I like, I mean, OK, I totally get it. I listen, I don't judge everybody, do whatever the **** you want. Shave. Don't shave. Whatever. Personally, for me, like, I don't like having anybody here at all. Which is ironic because I like forget to shave my legs constantly. But I'm just like, not someone who likes the feeling. Like I just don't like it. Like if I forget to shave my armpit for a little bit too long, like I freak out and I'm like, I need to shave it. And and that's just a personal preference for myself. That has nothing to do with anyone else. I don't judge. I don't care. It's none of my ******* business. You can do whatever you want with your body hair, and no one else should have anything to say about it, and that's point blank. But. I also understand the desire to want to, you know, have a clean shave constantly. I totally get it, because, I mean, number one is a society thing, but I also think a lot of people just feel more comfortable and it feels like it's like physically more comfortable to be shaved. That's how it is for me. And. I've struggled with this issue. I'm such like I'm the type of person that I'm so ******* lazy that like when I'm in the shower I shave everything so fast. That, like I it, it doesn't it doesn't end up. It's sometimes we have some user error right and things don't look the best. It's not like I did the best job. Like you, I can guarantee that every time I shave my legs, there's a missing. There's a missing strip of leg hair that I did not like. It's it's a mess, so you can only imagine it's a mess. But the thing that you need to remember is that body hair is so ******* normal and I can guarantee that your significant other, if they have even half of a brain, are not going to care if you are perfectly shaved every single time. That is a completely unrealistic expectation and I think that that. Expectation to be perfectly shaved everywhere, all the time. Just comes from, you know. Societies. State like there's just this stigma in society that you need to be perfectly shaved constantly. But that's so unrealistic. Like nobody unless you're like. Getting waxed constantly or you have laser hair removal or you just naturally are like lucky and like don't have this issue like having a slightly messed up bikini line is pretty much everyone. Like it's so hard this summer I was just a mess because I was like oh like every time somebody would want to go to the beach I was like, I just don't. This is so alright, I'll see you guys in in an hour. Now I have to go in the shower and ******* be in there for like 3 hours to make. So that I'm like it was. It's tough, OK? But anybody who's expecting you to be perfectly shaved all the time just doesn't understand the human body. Nobody can shave perfectly. It's not normal to be able to do that. It's impossible. I swear to God. Everyone has problems with it. And if your significant other expects that of you, that's just stupid. Who gives a ****? Like it's your body hair, it's however you wanna manage it. And, you know, obviously there's certain people who have preferences and stuff like that. I totally get that. And like, those things can be communicated respectfully if there's like a really severe issue or something, which whatever, that could be a conversation within your relationship, but like, you know, on a day-to-day, like if you didn't shave perfectly when you shaved last. And it's like not a whatever it who cares? It just doesn't matter. And 90% of the time, no one's even paying attention. I swear to God. Think about it. Are you ever paying attention to that stuff on other people? No, I cannot tell you one time I've ever been like, hmm, they didn't shave good. What? Who gives a ****? It just like doesn't matter. I mean, unless it's like a very extreme situation, you know? I mean, but I'm saying like day-to-day, like there's it's an unrealistic expectation to make it perfect. Don't be self-conscious. It is totally normal and natural and people love you for you, not because you have a perfectly shaved. You know. What does it really take to make it in New York City when you're young? The come up is a new freeform docu reality series on Hulu. It follows 6 ambitious creative 20 somethings in NYC as they break the status quo and take up all the space. It's a real look into how this next generation of icons are breathing life back into the downtown scene, all while pursuing their dreams, which is a long way of saying they're killing it. The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu hey am I want to hook up with this guy even though I don't know him? But I'm scared that my friends will judge me because they will think that he's weird. Something what do you think I should do? Listen, who gives a **** what your friends think? If you think they're cute and you're into it, go crazy. Have fun. You can't make those decisions based on social. Judgment like you just can't because it doesn't matter. And. Those things are so personal to you and your preferences, it is none of your friend's business. You don't even have to tell them like. I say go for it. I truly am somebody who just believes. Like, as long as somebody's trustworthy and cool. Like, just ******* go crazy. Unless you're in a relationship. No cheating. I have a phobia of cheating, so I mean, I think everybody has a ******* phobia of cheating, but as long as you're not cheating on anyone, then who gives a ****? Have fun, hook up with anyone. As long as they're not a ****** *** in our disrespectful, then you're fine. Somebody said, do you ever feel like you're growing, you're becoming the person that you want to be and you have your standards and you have your morals, but do you ever feel like you're? Fighting with the old you. If so, how do you handle that? Yes, yes, I OK. So over the past year, I've done probably more growing than I ever have in my entire life and I'm at a really good spot right now where I feel like I'm the most mature and the most grounded and the most. Morally sound then I that I've ever been. I mean I've never been this connected. I don't think. I mean don't get me wrong. Mess consistently a mess. Very much mess all the time. Still a mess. But I feel like I'm more grounded than I've ever been and I feel more mature and more, you know, in a good place than I have been in a really long time because I've always been a mess. So it's more a matter of how much of a mess am I and I think the right now I'm doing pretty good and I think that I have figured out a lot of my priorities and. Kind of settled all that out a lot recently and so yeah, but OK, I looked back at myself six months ago and I wanna puke, right? Like I was a ******* mess. I was so dumb. I even six months ago. It's just like, it's crazy how quickly you evolve and like, I look back at some of the **** that I did. You know, even a year ago, six months ago, and I'm like, Emma, you were so immature. You were so impulsive. You were so you had, you know, no confidence, no self respect, no like. You know, no spine. Like, I mean, definitely a spine, but like less of a spine than I do now, like. Just very like doing things that, like I do not approve of. Now. You know what I mean? And none of them were harmful to anyone but me, but it was just, and they weren't even harmful in general. They're really not the things that I've done, like whether it's like. It could be like from kissing a dude that I like. Kind of regret cause I'm like, I didn't. I was just doing that because, like, I was like, whatever, why not? But not because I like really. More honestly, just for like reassurance that, like, someone was attracted to me like something like that. God, I don't think I've ever talked about that. Maybe we talk about that one episode, but maybe we need a few years on that one. But like, you know, like. Getting with a dude just cause I felt insecure, like that's something that. Is a good example where it's like, yeah, that didn't harm anyone. I didn't hurt that guy's feelings. It didn't hurt my feelings, but it's like. That's not something that I am proud of now and like that's something that. I beat myself up about because I'm like a you would not do that now. That's not you. That never was you. Why did you ******* do that? You did that because you were insecure, you idiot. Why would you do that? Right. And **** like that, it hurts. It hurts to reflect on. But. You know, you also have to remember why you were behaving the way that you did. There's a lot of circumstance. I mean, there's so many different circumstances, right? Like you were learning, you were working through something, so. You wouldn't be at the mature, amazing place that you're at now without every mistake that you've ever made. Because those mistakes. Helped you grow, and so there's nothing to be angry about. Yes, you can be like, I wouldn't do that again, but you can't be angry at yourself for **** that you've done. You've done it. You're done. It's over. You did it. You can learn from it. That's it. So don't beat yourself up over it. Just learn from the mistakes that you've made and. That's it. You know what I mean. There's nothing to be. Shameful about. The old you is still you and they. Needed to make every mistake that they've ever made. So that you could be the you that you are now. Somebody said what do you do when you're having a breakdown slash panic attack in public? This actually happened to me super recently, so I wanted to tell you all the story. I went to one of my first socially distanced in person meetings in a while because there has not been meetings. In person due to COVID in a in eight months I've been just doing zoom, but. I had a meeting with a few people and we were in a backyard and we were socially distanced and it was really nice by the beach. It was great. And. A few minutes into this meeting, I. Start to. My vision in my eyes starts to get ****** **. Like, there's blind spots in my eyes and I was like, oh **** I'm getting an aura migraine, which is basically where you get a migraine. Well, basically how it works is you start to kind of go not blind, but you start to lose vision in your eyes. Your eyes become very like, you can't see anything properly. Like imagine you have a bunch of goofy **** in your eyes and it's just like a bunch of goopy, like stuff. So like there's blurry spots in your vision. That starts to happen, and then you basically can't see properly for about an hour, and then your vision comes back. And then right as your vision comes back, you get an excruciating headache. My mom and I get these. We've gotten these forever our whole lives. It is the reason why I cannot go on hormonal birth control, because if you go on hormonal birth control with that, those types of migraines, you get them all the time and they're really scary and terrible. Well, I haven't gotten one of these migraines in a super long time, but they can be triggered by anything, whether you like. You didn't eat enough that day, you didn't drink enough water that day. You were are overly tired. Like just not taking care of yourself will trigger it. And I got one and I'm at this meeting and I'm like starting to see that, like. Everyone's getting kind of blurry for me and I'm like, **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **** it. But I'm like, I need to remain composed. Like, I know that this **** will pass in about an hour, so I'm just gonna ride the wave, right? It's hard though, because you can't make eye contact because you can't see properly. So it's like really hard to make eye contact and ****. And. Umm. So they're talking for like probably 1/2 hour and I'm just listening and I'm trying to focus, but I'm starting to spiral into a panic attack because I was like. Holy ****. Like this is weird. I haven't gotten one of these migraines in so long. Like would if. What if, like, there's something else wrong? Like what if one of my lungs are like is like filled with fluid, and so I'm not getting oxygen to my brain, and my brain is failing, and that's why my vision is getting ****** **? Like, what if it's not Nora Migraine? Like, what if it's something else and I started to spiral about? Maybe I was having a larger issue and so I started to panic and I'm like shaking and like my limbs started to lose feeling and I was basically getting a panic attack. Wow, having this aura migraine while I'm at this meeting, right? And having to act normal. And so we all ordered sushi. We all had our own little separate sushi boxes and. I only ate a few pieces cause I was so nervous. But I was like, you know what? Maybe getting some food in my stomach will help. So. I start eating the sushi. And I'm using chopsticks. And I have my hands on the chopsticks and I go to reach to get a piece of sushi. And I have no feeling in my right hand. Like my hand was paralyzed, I could not move it. And I was trying to pick up the sushi by clamping it with the chopsticks, and I couldn't do it. My hand would not move. This made me panic 50 times more. I couldn't tell if my hand was asleep because I had been sitting on it. For like the past half hour. Or if like, I was literally losing feeling to my limbs because like there was something wrong with my oxygen going to my brain and it was like cutting off and I was gonna pass out and die and have a heart attack and have like brain some sort of brain. Like I literally thought I was dying. And I talked to my mom later and she told me that she thinks that the reason why I lost feeling in my hands and feet was because. I was having a panic attack, but I was really managing it well. I was like, I am not going to let them know that I'm panicking. Like, I'm just gonna let them talk. Finally after like 30 minutes, 40 minutes, they were done talking and I was like, oh **** it's my turn to talk and they asked me a question. And I would think of the answer in my head. And when I would go to say it. My mouth would say a different word than what my brain was thinking, like I was jumbling my words on accident. Let's say I was thinking of saying. I really like the last option. Let's say that's a sentence I was going to say. I would start out and I'd be like option, like I I like I I cannot make this **** up. It was like I could not. I kept like starting my sentences wrong and then be like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I had to admit to them, I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. I have a migraine and it's giving me a little bit of a panic attack and I'm really sorry. But like, I am jumbling my words, like, I'm kind of a mess right now and they're like, Oh my God, like, no, totally fine. So then they brought me some water and I was like, no, guys keep going. And I was so embarrassed because I hate being like, the person who's like, you know, I I don't like getting injured in front of people or whatever. I don't like being a ******* liability. Like it, just it. I hate that type of attention. So. And I hate when people like, are you OK? Are you OK? I'm like, shut up. Just leave me alone. But that was so embarrassing. And so. I think the way that I dealed with it, that helped me move past it was admitting to them like. Like, my panic attack virtually went away immediately after I was like, listen, I'm so sorry guys, but I'm having like. A really bad migraine and like my anxiety and I'm panicking a little bit. It's like bad. I'm so sorry because I'm just nervous about the migraine cause they make me anxious. And they're like, no, it's totally fine. Like, do you want us to take a break? Like, whatever. And then once they had that understanding and I didn't feel like I was hiding my struggle and I didn't feel like I was like, trying to, like, bottle it up. I felt so much better. So I think that my. Tip is to tell someone that you're around that you're having this struggle and that really helps because then you're like, OK, well, they know what I'm dealing with and so we're all on the same page. Let me just get through this and we'll be fine, and that's literally that. We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone and every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for, that's You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that somebody said how do you know it's time to have sex with your significant other? I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about this, so I will ask my team, but I don't think it's that big of a ******* deal, and I think that's something that's important. I've always been somebody that. Doesn't judge that stuff. Like, at all, I think. Genuinely. As long as you are. Respected by the other person. And you're having safe sex. I don't think that there's really any limit. To like what you do with that, like I think you can, in my opinion, and I mean, of course everybody has their own, whether it's like religion or like whatever, totally respect all of that. But. Like at the same time if you have no. As long as you are. Being safe about it and the other person is somebody that you trust and that. Is completely respectful of you and your body and you know what in your requests. When it comes to all that stuff, there's really no reason. Not to if you want to. This is complex. Actually, this is a lot more complex than I. Had anticipated when I started answering it. There's no issue in waiting. But at the same time, if you feel safe and comfortable with your significant other. Or whoever you decide to do this with and you. Trust them and you know that this will not harm you. Physically or mentally, I mean, it could obviously affect you mentally, just if like, you know this whole thing, like it's very emotional thing. And so, you know, I'm not saying, like, I'm saying emotionally, as in, it might make you feel weird at first because you're like, oh, what the ****? I'm a big kid now. Like, that's weird. And, like, that's what I mean by emotionally. But I'm saying, like. You know that this person is somebody who's nurturing and caring and respectful and won't hurt you emotionally or physically at all. That's super important. And if. You know, everyone's tested and you're wearing protection. Like, just obviously all those things are so important. But if you know the age is appropriate. And. The comfort is there. I don't really see any reason to wait. If you have that all of those you know elements, I say definitely wait for those elements to be present. But actually there is something to be said for waiting. A little bit to have sex, I think. It it can make your relationship a lot stronger if you wait longer. Before you get into that because you you have your whole relationship to do that, so. There's also no rush. Like, if you guys have been dating for a while, like, go crazy, have fun, whatever. But like if you just met. In like. You want to wait a while because you're like, you know what? I kind of want this to last. Like, I kind of want to see how me and this person get along without that physical element. Then wait. And sometimes it's tough, but I think that waiting like even a month or so, two months, three months, it doesn't hurt because it builds like an an element of excitement. That. You wouldn't have otherwise, and it also. Forces you to to. Grow a relationship that has nothing to do with that. Right. So I don't know, I mean I think that. If you want to, and you feel ready and all of the factors that I mentioned earlier are there, go for it. But also there. It doesn't like waiting. Doesn't hurt either, because there are a lot of pros to waiting a while. But I think that. You'll know when it's the right time and. That's that. Somebody said. Do you agree with right person and wrong time? This is really interesting to me because I used to think that. But now I'm not so sure. Because. Ah, it's it's really tough because I definitely think that this can. Makes sense? For example, let's say you meet your love of your life in high school and then you guys both go to College in different areas and it just becomes really hard. But there was never an issue with the relationship. Right, I think that that is a great example of right person, wrong time and you guys can reconnect down the line because there was never an issue. The problem with right person, wrong time and saying that and throwing that around is I I've found a lot of people, including myself. Have literally said that in justified a partner's actions. By saying that when they were just genuinely toxic and ****** ** like, like, you know what I'm saying? I think that, you know, people can say **** like that when they're like blindly in love with someone and be like, well, it's just right person, wrong time, like they're just in a bad spot. So they're being like really emotionally abusive, but it's fine because it was just right person, wrong time. Like they'll grow out of it, blah, blah, blah. No, no. No, that's not how that works. That's just wrong person. Wrong person. Like, that's point blank. I just think that a lot of people use that term to like. Almost. Kind of subconsciously justify their toxic partners. Terrible traits. Like if you have a really toxic partner and they cheated on you 6 times, but you're like, well it's just because they're young. Right person, wrong time. Like they're just going through this phase. No, they're just a ***** ** **** and you just love them too much because you're a good person and you care about people and they're taking advantage of that. They really are not. It's really not like that when when you meet someone. And they're the right person. The only time that it could be a wrong time is if there's something that is worldly that you guys can't control. That is keeping you apart, whether that's like college or. Or maybe like a job situation that's like super time consuming. Like, let's say you're dating someone who like. Has to travel like across the country constantly for work like things like that and that make it really difficult and like not work. Or like you know. Even if you just need to be single for a few more years, but you found somebody that you really want to be with, but you just know that you need to have that time by yourself before you date, like, yes, **** like that can happen, but that's also, let's notice something about that. There's no red flags with that. There's no red flags with the with that person. They could absolutely be the right person, but it's just the wrong time. That yes, but there, look at the other situation when you're just saying right person, wrong time because you're justifying someone's toxic actions. Hello, red flags, red flags all over the damn map, but we're still. Out here being like. No, it's OK because they just start having them. No, no, no, no. No. Listen, everybody. If someone's treating you like **** you're out. I'm done. I'm done with anyone excepting listen. I cannot believe the amount of bad treatment that I experienced in my life. And how I just was OK with it, it blows my damn mind. Especially like in dating. Like I just got ******* thrown around, like. Peniata, I was just stabbed constantly in the neck. Like just demolished every time. Listen, y'all, it does not need to be like that. You do not need to justify a ****** person's behavior. Why are we doing that? You will absolutely find someone who has no red flags. You might even find him at the wrong time. God only knows, doesn't matter. No red flags 20212021. We're not. We are not ignoring the red flags ever again. Listen to me. You hear me right. We are not ignoring red flags anymore, and we're not using little sayings to justify red flags. Thank you. Somebody said, what do you do when you see someone that you are not on good terms with in public? I ignore them for as long as possible and then if I make eye contact I give them a little wave and say hi and be polite and then immediately act like I'm busy and walk away. So yeah. Somebody said advice on how to motivate yourself to eat when you're going through an episode. So. I know when I'm really anxious I have a really hard time. Having an appetite like, I'm not thinking about it right and it like. It stresses me out to do anything. So, like, whether that's going downstairs to cook or picking out a meal, like, to eat. Like, I'm just like, I don't even have it in me, right? So I totally understand this. I think the key is to, when you're having an episode to feed yourself something that is exciting and yummy to you. Like, go get your favorite food. Like, treat yourself a little bit. Because. You did. You need to eat and. You might as well make it something fun. Like, let's say you're really, really into this pasta dish from an Italian restaurant down the street. Go there and get that and eat that. That's something that you know that you love, you're excited about. Whatever. Let's say you know you're like, you know what I do need to get out of bed and cook something. Cook something. Like really like fun, yummy, and healthy. That like will make you feel super good. Like that could also feel really good. Or like, go get ice cream and eat ice cream. It doesn't matter. Just anything that you would feel. Excited about anything that excites you, that like kind of makes you feel a little hungry, that makes you like? That makes your mouth water a little bit. Find something. And eat it and. I promise that will help. Somebody said I got new dogs who are brothers and they won't stop ******* each other. How do I stop this? Listen, let them have fun, OK? It's not harming anyone. You know. I say just let them hump it out and they'll probably grow out of it eventually. Someone said I feel numb and sad most of the time, but I have an amazing life. I want to talk to somebody, but I don't want to sound like I'm downplaying people who have actually. Dealt with depression or burden my family as they've also helped me recover from an eating disorder. I love your podcast so much. Thank you so much. I'm going to address all these things separately. #1. I also feel numb and sad a lot. And I also have an amazing life. And it sucks because it's like, why? Like, what's the ******* problem? You know what I mean? It's like, I have nothing to be bummed about, yet I'm constantly bummed. Like, what is up with that? I think that it's normal and I think that sometimes in the peak of your life you can feel the worst because you're like. God, like everything's so good. I feel pressured to feel perfectly happy all the time. But I don't. And then that just spirals you into a deeper sadness. Enjoy the amazing moments by moment, OK? Tomorrow's not promised. Remember that and just? I almost wrote this down in my journal the other night. Because I was having anxiety about. A friendship that I have. And. I was like, Oh my God, what am I doing? This is so dumb. Like? Imagine me. Being anxious about this friendship. That could potentially last a very long time like and imagine nothing ever going wrong with it. Severely, right? And I spend the whole friendship. Just anxious about the friendship. Right, like, imagine spending your whole life anxious about something that will never happen, or being upset about something that will never happen. What's the point of that? I think that when things are really good, you start to get worried about those good things going away. For me, it was that friendship. I was like, wow, that that friendship is so important to me. If that ever goes anywhere, I'm going to be ******* sad. But imagine me wasting like I'm wasting time. Worrying about that when, like, there's a decent chance that nothing's ever gonna happen, and if it does, it was meant to be. Like, I can't. We can't spend our whole lives being worried about something going wrong or whatever. We have to enjoy it right now because, for ***** sake, we could die tomorrow and like none of it had mattered. And did we even ever enjoy the moments that were so amazing? I I don't want to waste my life feeling anxious about things going wrong while things are going good. There's no point to that. O. That's something to consider. Just enjoy it moment by moment. Also when it comes to talking. To other people about your problems, that is what other people are there for, OK? Just because it's not like it's a point system where it's like, ohh well, OK, when I talk to my family about my eating disorder that used up 10 points and now I have no points left to talk to them about things. No, there is no ******* system like that. You can go to people whenever you want and you should be going to people whenever you want to talk about these things because life is a constant battle. Just because you struggled with one thing doesn't mean that you're not going to struggle tomorrow or the next day or the next day. Nobody expects you to get over one problem and then never have another problem again. That's not how this **** works, unfortunately. So go to your family, talk to them about this, maybe find a therapist or somebody that. Is kind of removed from the situation that you can talk to. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your family yet. Whatever it is. You're gonna have problems for the rest of your life, as will the rest of us. And so. Don't waste precious time. Bottling this **** up when. There's so many people that would love to help and support you through this. Somebody said how to handle my mom, who prioritizes her new boyfriend over me. I've been there for her through everything and she knows I'm hurt by this, but doesn't really care. This is really tough as somebody who's dealt with the divorce myself. It is really, really tough. For not only you as the child, but also for your parent and you have to remember that. It took me so long to. Understand that like a divorce. Is equally as jarring for parents, right? Like they are learning. Just as much as you during this time, a divorce will shake **** up in a way that like. Is very unique. And. It's so hard, but you need to not take it personal because your mom is a human being, right? And what she's doing right now is not cool at all, and it is not the way that you deserve to be treated. By any means. But at the same time, don't let this change your view of yourself, because this has nothing to do with you. Your mom loves you just as much as she did before, but she's trying to fill a void right now. With her new boyfriend. She's trying to. Find happiness in something. That. Inevitably won't probably work because you can't really find happiness in another person. But when a parent goes through a divorce and then starts dating again, I I can only imagine how confusing that is because, you know, you go from having somebody that you thought was going to be your lifelong companion to being alone again. It's, you know, put yourself in her shoes for a second. That **** must be awful. Doesn't mean that she should be neglecting you. No, that is not ******* fair. But I'm explaining this because. It's important for you to be aware of that so that you don't take it personally and think that there's something wrong with you. Like, why is my mom, you know, hanging out with her new boyfriend and not me? Like, am I so ****** to be around? Like, what the ****? No, it has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that your mom is trying to fill that void. She's trying to figure it out. And so. All you can do is communicate this to your mom as much as you feel comfortable. It's really hard, but you need to let her know how you feel as often as you can and really be respectful about it. She's struggling even though she's your mom. It's hard to comprehend. The parents struggle, but they do. Communicate this with her and say, Mom, I miss you. I I need quality time with you like I live at home right now. I I need you to prioritize me because I'm your child. You brought me onto this planet. And I need that love and reassurance and nurturing from you. Because you're all I have. You're my mom. You're the only mom that I have, and I need that from you. Please give that to me. And keep trying to plant those seeds. She'll have a wake up call at some point and she's going to regret it too. But. You need to not take it personally and just try to help her through it, right? Parents are human beings. And they're gonna **** **. And it sucks, because as a kid, you. Get the brunt of it when your parents **** ** especially when you live at home. But. Be the bigger person and try to teach her a lesson through this. Alright, someone said. I think I'm losing feelings for my boyfriend. We've been together for like a year and a half and we haven't done anything sexually. I think because of that I see him more as a friend and I don't know what to do about it. I feel really bad about it, but I don't know. Help? There's something to be said for people who like you just don't have. Romantic chemistry with. And that's totally normal, like you're not going to romantically click with most people. Like it's it's not. Like every two combination of people will like be able to have a romantic chemistry with a lot of people. It's just not there. And that's why relationships are so special because, you know, you can have an amazing friendship with somebody. But like, I think of some of my guy friends, right? Like, I love having them as a friend, I love having them around, blah, blah, blah blah. But if it came to like. Ever anything more like no, no like that would not work. You know what I'm saying? And that's totally fine and normal. And that is what makes romantic relationships differ from friendships. Is that. You have that romantic chemistry. That you can't just have with anyone and throughout your life you're going to meet a lot of people that like, you just don't have that chemistry with. And that is totally fine and normal. And it can be hard because sometimes if your relationship is built on a foundation of friendship, which is important, you can kind of get the lines blurred and you're like, well, I guess it doesn't really matter that our physical element is not that great because we have such a great friendship. Well, unfortunately. As a human being in a romantic relationship, you need. I mean, not everybody. Everybody is very different, but. I think. A great amount of people need a like that physical element. I know I do like, I'm sorry, but like I need like a lot of affection. So like. If I'm not getting that like I'm, I'm outta here. You know what I mean? And. So it's normal and it just might not be the right physical match, and that's totally OK. And this is a conversation that I think that you need to have with your boyfriend. Just be like, listen. You know. I would rather just be friends with you because I feel like we really just have a friendship. Anyway, like, we don't even really have like a real romantic relationship, so I would rather us just be friends because I think that makes more sense, so that you can go explore a true romantic relationship with someone else. Because we need that as human beings, right? Like we need. Physical affection and like to feel. In a way, like sexually connected to someone else, like that's what we need in a relationship most of the time. Some people have totally different situations, but like for, you know. People who? Are in that headspace where that's something they need, like that's very normal, so. I say that you break up with him, but try to be friends with him still. God knows it probably won't work because that **** is a ******* mess every time, but. You know you need to be checking that box if that's something that's important to you, even if this guy is great. Like if you don't have the physical element and you're losing feelings, be honest with yourself about that and don't waste either of your guys's time anymore. Somebody said how do you get an axe back? We are not in full contact but talking and there I missed them so much and I know that they feel the same, but we need a push because we are both stubborn and neither of us will make the first move. You know, I think that this is something that you grow out of eventually, because I'm actually, like, in the process of growing out of this **** myself, not specifically with like an ex, but when it comes to like, being too stubborn to like, reach out or like make plans and stuff like that. Like? I think that you grow out of that, but what you need to realize is that you live one Life OK? Send the text. What is the worst that could happen? Put your ego aside for a second and be like. You know what? I'm just gonna text this person and tell them exactly how I feel. Put your egos, that you're gonna feel so much better. The relief that you feel is so much greater than the. Ego death that you have when you send a text like that, trust me, it is so. Fulfilling to send a text like that and even if the response is not something that you want. It feels good to know that you did everything you could to try to get this person back. Hopefully they're a good person and it's a good person to get back, because sometimes getting back with an ex is like the worst thing you can do, but sometimes it's also necessary. So I don't know, hopefully they're not toxic person. But either way, send the text, put your ego aside, hang out with a friend of yours and just sit there, write up a little text and send it and put your phone down for an hour and come back. You will feel so much better. It's even hard for me to make plans right like. Literally, even in a relationship like, I'm the type of person where I'm like. Hmm. I don't wanna make the plans because. I am scared of them being not wanting to hang out with me and then me getting embarrassed. What the **** is that? I'm growing out of that, luckily. But like only recently I used to, like, never make plans with anyone. And now I'm like, you know what? I'm putting my ego aside because I want to hang out with this person. It's like, I would be like, oh, I want to hang out with this person so bad, but I'm just going to wait for them to ask me to hang out. What the **** is that? What kind of games? Like why we we life is too short to be playing those ******* games. Say how you feel. Be honest. Who gives a **** about what happens next? You're going to either learn something or you're going to get the result that you want. Win, win, even if it's a little bit painful. Commands are one more. Somebody said. Do you think it's OK for your partner to follow lots of other girls? How do you set those boundaries? God, this is actually something that's so interesting, like the whole issue with like, you know, significant others liking. Other girls or guys photos that maybe are a little bit provocative or like following other girls. Whatever, I think that there is a clear line. Here's where I'm at with it, and here's what I've always thought. Out of respect for your significant other. I say that it's best to. You know, keep the following to a minimum unless it's like necessary. Do you know what I mean? Like. I have no reason. Like when you're OK. When you're in a relationship, there's really no reason to just be like following random. Like for me. Like if I'm in a relationship, there's no reason for me to be going around and following random hot guys. There just isn't because I don't what what do I gain from that? Right? Like, especially ones that I don't know. It's like, what's the point of that? I don't need to be seeing that **** anyway, and out of respect for my significant other, I'm definitely not going to be engaging with their content. I think that, you know if your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, let's say in this scenario, because you it sounds like you're dating a you're dating a guy and he's following other girls. I'm using this as an example, but this can go with any relationship or any any combination of two people. Just like basically your significant other following. People that they could be potentially attracted to like. That's what this is. I think that out of respect, it's best if both of you are not liking super inappropriate content of. You know. A potential competitor, if you will, right? I think that out of respect, it's best just not to do that because it's so unnecessary and. It's it's not respectful really. And I mean, I understand. Like, let's say, if it's like your friend, like, let's say, if it's somebody who you know you guys are friends with, that's very different because it's like a friendship. And if they're like liking you know, your friends posts and stuff like that, there's nothing wrong with that because it's not like. Like, yeah, you guys are all friends, so, like, whatever. As long as it's not, like, weird. But like, you know what I'm saying? I think that keeping that **** to a minimum is just best for both of your guys's mental health. Just so that there's no worry about. Some secretive **** going on, you know what I mean? It's it's so easy to not like a bikini picture. Or some dudes like a B pick. It's very easy not to like that, right? So like, you might as well just not ******* like it so that your significant other can, like, sleep a little bit better at night. Because we're very competitive as human beings, and you know, most people have ******* trust issues. So like when you see your significant other liking hot pictures of like, somebody who's a potential competitor, yeah, it ******* sucks. Because you're like, ah, they saw that and they like, liked it. And which means that they like consciously like this photo, like, it's just it's so much easier to just not do that. And if they're constantly liking photos of hot people and stuff like that and it's making you genuinely insecure and uncomfortable, have that conversation with them and be like, listen, I know that you're probably not doing anything wrong, and like, I don't want to be all up in your **** here, but like you, engaging in this content makes me feel insecure because it's really hard for me not to compare myself. To these other people and worry that you're not like dimming them on the side. Like, I have trust issues, blah, blah, blah. But also there's a decent chance that, you know, people just like **** that's on their feed. There's a great chance that it just doesn't even mean anything. But if it's bugging you communicate that cause it's such an easy fix. And also, you know, a lot of people are like, well, that's something that's a problem with you. Yes and no. Like a lot of people have trust issues, me being one of them. If like I was dating somebody and like, they were like liking a bunch of hot photos of girls. I'd be like **** like *** **** it. Like, I mean, I I don't know if it would bug me to the point of bringing it up, but like, it would definitely suck a little bit. I mean, come on, I'm a human. I'm a human being. So. Like it would definitely like suck a little bit. I'd be like, well, why isn't he ******* talking to them then? Jesus Christ, like. You know it. I don't know. That's the way that my brain sometimes works, unfortunately. So like, I can totally see where that could be an issue. So I think it's just. Being honest. You know, anyway, well, that's enough for this episode. I just recorded for a long *** time. I hope you guys enjoyed this and had fun hanging out with me. I love love, love coming on here every week and talking with you guys. I literally look forward to it. It is the my favorite part. Actually this in Chamberlain Coffee right now are my favorite things to work on. I just love both of them so much and I love everything else as well, but this is just been so amazing and I love. Hanging out with you guys for an hour or so every week and I hope that you guys are enjoying it. If you guys are, feel free to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Give me a little five stars. I love seeing your guys's opinions on the pod and letting me know what you want me to talk about and **** like that. Also, if you want to ask questions or participate in the episodes the Twitter is at AG podcast, you can ask me questions. I give prompts to you guys to ask me questions and **** and if you want to be an advice session next time. That's where you can ask those questions and I believe that that's it, so. I love you all. You guys are awesome and. Have an amazing week and I'll talk to you guys next Thursday and. Umm. We're going to get through this together. We're all in this together. We're all A-Team. We're not on separate teams. We're all on each other's team. Everybody who listens to anything goes on the same team. We don't argue with one another. We don't fight with one another. We support one another and we love one another. And that is. OK? I love you guys. Have a great week. OK, bye. I don't want to say goodbye yet, but I have to because it's getting too long. OK, bye. We're here with Phil talking about what's new with Hart Nissan. Phil, what are some good reasons somebody should buy now? That's a great question. We all know that car shopping can be an overwhelming. Plus plus, people are uncertain about a lot these days. Hard Nissan recognize that. So we build up a heart rewards program, all new and pre-owned vehicle purchases, get one year identity Theft Protection 3, Virginia State inspections and multipoint inspections, one year tire Rd hazard with roadside assistance, a three day vehicle exchange, and every purchase or service earns heart rewards points. That's a ton of stuff. It's amazing offering all those benefits. It can really save people a lot of headaches and of course money. Exactly. And. We have even more savings right now. Get 0% financing on all new and certified pre-owned Nissan in our inventory. Phil, thanks so much for coming in. right, you got it. or check us out in the Apple App Store or Google Play store, use your head and trust your heart. Maximal finance $20,000 for 60 months with tier one credit approval with MC dealer for full details.