Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. Recorded from the comfort of her bed, Emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. Anything really does go on this podcast. Sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, and sometimes nothing at all. You never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. New episodes every Thursday.

advice session #13 (relationships)

advice session #13 (relationships)

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 16:56

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Ramble. No one is slowing down in this hiring race for the best talent, and offering the right benefits may help you reward and retain your team, helping them feel valued, motivated, and ready for the future. And that can make all the difference for your business principal offers retirement and group benefit plans, customized to help you meet your goals. Your company's future depends on its people. Show them they are valued and give them the tools they need to succeed. Talk to your financial professional today about the right benefits and retirement plans. In principle and visit us at business. This message was brought to you by Principal Financial Group. But it's important to our wonderful lawyers that we share our legal name, which is the principal life insurance company, Des Moines, IA. For important information about our products, visit Hey guys. Today we are going to be doing an advice session completely dedicated to relationships because. Relationships are just simply my favorite thing to talk about. I love talking about romance. I love it. I find it extremely interesting. It's extremely complicated. And it's one of my favorite things to talk about in my personal life and on the podcast. So today we're going to be doing an entire episode dedicated to talking about relationships. I'm going to be giving you my relationship advice. To the best of my ability considering that I AM 20 and I probably don't know what I'm talking about, but per usual with these. I'm just doing my best. Take it or leave it. So I asked you guys on Twitter to ask me questions or share scenarios with me that you need advice on. The Twitter is that AG podcast if you ever want to participate in an episode. And let's just get into it. Somebody said how do you work through a relationship once the honeymoon phase is over? This is something that I do not think is talked about enough and I've actually talked about it. In an episode before, but I think that it's so important that I want to talk about it again. Basically, the honeymoon phase of a relationship is like the first four months, I would say, when everything is just perfect, you and your significant other are on your best behavior. Everything feels like a dream. All of your problems disappear when you're around them. You don't argue. You don't disagree. Everything is just gravy. It just floats like magic and then reality hits at like the four month mark usually. And you're like, oh **** OK, I need to get back to my life. OK, do you know what I'm gonna use a metaphor. It's almost like you're on a drug. For the first four months of a relationship and you're just not fully conscious. You're like in dream world, you're high. You know, like you're high on the love that you have for this new person. And then one day you wake up and the drug is worn off and. You still love the person, but. You kind of start settling back into reality. And for a lot of people, that's so jarring that they end up breaking up with their significant other because they're like, ohh. There must be something wrong like this doesn't have the same effect that it used to have. This relationship doesn't have the same effect on my brain that it used to have. It must be defective. I'm going to break up with this person because it doesn't cast the same spell on me that it did in the beginning. Truth of the matter is, if you really think about it, at a certain point, being in a relationship just becomes a part of your normal day-to-day life, and it's not really that exciting anymore. It might have exciting moments, but generally it's. Is what it is. It is what it is. It's a relationship. You're dating someone and like you might get excited every once in a while about something like if you guys are going on a date or. I don't know, maybe they look extra hot one day, I don't know. But like you might get a little excited sometimes, but generally it just becomes a part of your day-to-day life and it stops working as a distraction, I know. In almost all my relationship experiences for the first few months, I'm like, Oh my God, I'm like, not even depressed. I've actually never been depressed. Now that I think about it, I am so happy and then listen at a certain point. The depression starts seeping back in because guess what? I can't use this person as a crutch anymore. Using your significant other. As a distraction from your problems in life. Works for the first few months when you're in the honeymoon phase. And then it stops working. And it's hard because a few difficult things happen. When the honeymoon phase ends, #1. As I've said, six times. You can't use your relationship as a distraction from your life anymore. You kind of have to get back to your life. You have to get back to work, right? That's #1 #2. Your true colors start showing in their true colors start showing. I'm sorry, but if you want to put up some sort of persona. In a relationship. It will only last. Maximum four months, I swear. And then, inevitably, your true colors will come out and their true colors will come out. And it could be great. And it could make the relationship even stronger, and it could be the downfall. Just depends on how fake you are being. Not saying that being fake in the beginning of relationship is bad. I think it's normal. I think to a certain extent, you know you're on your best behavior. You're trying to court someone, right? You're trying to. Get them to commit to you and so subconsciously you might be. Morphing yourself into a slightly better version of yourself in order to appeal to them. That's natural, but. It should fade away. And it will fade away. And what's revealed can be either really good or really bad. But regardless, that's. Definitely something that happens once the honeymoon phase ends. And the last thing that happens is that. The excitement. It just kind of dies down a little bit. I'm not saying it dies completely, it just dies down a little bit. You know, you're not as infatuated by the person and. They become more of an extension of who you are in a weird way. I can't explain it, but it's like. Instead of you looking at your significant other as this sort of ethereal being as you might within the 1st. Few months you start to look at them as more of an extension of yourself and as more of. A soul, in a way. And that might sound so corny, but. You really do start to see someone for who they truly are deep inside when you date somebody past the honeymoon stage and instead of being. Kind of like not an object. I don't know how to explain it because that's so ****** **. Not an object, but when you first start dating somebody, you. Are looking at them. For half of who they are, but also half of what your imagination thinks that they are, right. Which kind of turns them into a character and kind of makes them feel more ethereal almost to you. But once you get past the honeymoon stage and you truly know this person through and through, they become more of a real human being and they're less of an ethereal character in your brain. They're exactly who they are. In your brain. Does that make sense? And that can kind of make you. Worship the person a little less, which personally I think is a great thing because. A lot of people are like, oh, the honeymoon phase is like the best part of the relationship. Sure, but. It's also the most fake. Everybody's just. Trying to be as perfect as they can in the honeymoon phase. The real relationship starts when the honeymoon phase is over, when things aren't easy and blissful, when things start to get a little bit challenging and you might be forced to grow in some areas, and they might be forced to grow in some areas. And you start to show who you truly are. And they start to show who they truly are. And you start to learn how your guys's lives meld together or don't meld together, and it's time to break up like so many realizations happen. Once the honeymoon phase ends and I think the key to. Sticking together. After the honeymoon phase is to change your perspective and instead of looking at. The end of the honeymoon phase as being disappointing and kind of boring. Look at it as an accomplishment. You're starting to build an actual, genuine, true relationship with somebody else. That's honest and raw and like. Not fabricated like it may be during the honeymoon phase. That's exciting and. There might be some disagreements, there might be some arguments, there might be some rough moments because. You feel more free to be yourself. Once the honeymoon phase is over, but those moments not only bring you closer together long term, but also. Help you grow as long as the disagreements or the arguments or. The rough moments are not obviously toxic, you know what I'm saying? This is obviously excluding any kind of toxic situation because that's obviously you guys know my answer by now probably. That's obviously like. Run for the ******* hills, get out and don't even look back. There's billions of fish in the sea. Please go find someone else. End of story. But you get what I'm saying. Somebody said. Do you think that saying I love you is something that needs a lot of thought? This is such a great question and. I really do think that it depends. Because I think in relationships. It's all about feel and everything is very different. For each individual right for some people. Saying I love you is a huge deal. And it does require a lot of thought and it requires that individual to actually make the decision in their head. Am I in love with this person or not? Because I'm not going to say this unless I am. And then for other people, they might throw the phrase I love you around a lot more lightly. You know, they might throw it around sooner in the relationship because they might feel like, yeah, I do love this person. And I love them enough to say it. And so I'm going to say it. And they might not have thought about it as much, but if they felt it, then they might have said it and it it might not be as deep for some as it is for others. And that's why it's so confusing. I would say when it comes to telling somebody that you love them. I don't think it needs to require that much thought actually, because. You know, love is something that is so broad. You can love an animal. You could love a food, you could love a piece of clothing, you could love your family. You could love a friend. You could love a teacher, you could love a subject in school, you could love a hobby. And of course, you can also love a significant other. And you probably should, or else you should maybe not be in the relationship. But love is so broad, right? And there's so many different levels of love. That I think that you just have to go with your gut instinct and. Don't take it too seriously. Like if you love somebody and you know that for sure. And you want them to know it, say it, and even if you kind of are doubting yourself because you're like, I know I love them, but I don't know if I love them enough. To say it. Trust me. If you love someone and you feel it in your heart, just say it. And I know that I'm kind of talking more broadly here, and this should be specifically about relationships, but I think that this applies in all areas of life, including relationships. I think that the standard is pretty much the same. If you love anyone in general, friend, family, animal, significant other, whatever it may be. If you love them and you want to tell them, just say it. You don't need to overthink it. Life is way too ******* short to be. Overthinking whether or not you should tell someone you love them. Trust me, you should. And you won't ever regret it. OK, so I've told you guys about circle before, right? Spelled CIRKUL. Circle was created for people like me, OK, who don't drink enough water every day circles basically this water bottle with over 40 flavor cartridges that makes drinking water way more tasty. The flavors cover all the bases. They have fruit, punches, iced teas. Some even have caffeine or electrolytes, but there's no sugar, there's no calories, and there's no artificial flavors. My favorite flavor is strawberry Kiwi. And my favorite thing about it is I love how the dial on the cartridge lets you choose how much flavor you get per sip. All you have to do is twist the dial to a certain number for how much flavor that you want and you're ready to go. So the cool thing about it is that you can put the cartridge on. And you can set it to whatever setting you want. So you could set it to a setting where when you take a sip of water, it just tastes like water, so there's no flavor added. But if you're in the mood to add some flavor, you can twist it a little bit. And then you have a super flavorful sip. Right now Circle is giving all of my listeners. Up to 35% off their order, plus free shipping on all orders of $15 or more. Plus, as an added bonus, we're throwing in my favorite flavor, strawberry Kiwi, for free. Just visit drink circom Emma. That's drink CIRUL com Emma to get this limited time offer today again, that's We're talking about Macy's again. My favorite one stop shop in such a beloved friend to anything goes. Macy's is the best because it really has something for everyone in every occasion. Whether it's clothes, HomeGoods, cooking Ware, whatever it may be, Macy's has something for you in the spirit of everybody having their own individual Macy's shopping experience. They're making us feel like true VIP's for the next couple of weeks because Macy's VIP sale has arrived just in time to get everything you need to cozy up this fall. From September 23rd to October 3rd, get 30% off regular sale and clearance items plus. 15% off beauty. And again, outside of beauty, that's 30% off. Pretty much everything from clothing, shoes and handbags to home decor and appliances. It's happening at Macy's. You want to know what I'm going to get? I'm going to get scarves because I really want to have a scarf. I live in California. It's only cold for like 3 months here, and it's not even that cold. Like it never snows, but I need to be leaning into the winter. Entire this year, because last year I wasn't going hard enough. So I will be picking up a few things from Macy's if you need to get some stuff for, that's You'll find what you need. I can guarantee you that. Somebody said hi Emma, I'm 18, almost 19, and I've never had a romantic relationship last over two months. It makes me feel like I'm the problem or like I'm never going to have a solid, long lasting relationship. Any advice? OK. I get this because. Here's the thing, OK. I'm only 20. So I don't have a lot of room to talk here, right? But. I've felt this exact same way. You know, my first handful of relationships were all so ******* short, OK? None of them over six months, I would say. And. It was brutal because I would, I would like get into another relationship and be like, yes. And then it would be like over. Before I could even blink, right? And all for good reason. The relationships were awful, but like, you know. It does make you wonder if there's something wrong with you. I definitely wondered that. Here's what I tried to remind myself when I was in that place and I was just feeling like an absolute relationship failure because I could not have a relationship that lasted more than, what, four months? I just reminded myself that. The more relationships I have that. Fail, right? The more I get to learn about what I need in a relationship and what type of person I want in a relationship so that. As I continue searching. For somebody that I can be with for a long *** time. I have a better gauge as to what I want, so I'm not just. Picking some random guy off the street, being like, I think this guy's good. It's like, no, I actually have a criteria based on my past failed relationships and now I know what I'm looking for. It's impossible to know what you want before you've had a few failed experiences. Now listen, not everybody's the same in that way. Some people might. Find their soul mate. Literally. One day randomly and stay with that person forever, and it's exactly what they imagine their whole life, and their life is perfect, blah blah blah, OK, whatever. But for most of us, we're going to have to do some trial and error. And so I think that with relationships, failure is simply just a way to learn. What we need to be looking for, and I also think that that applies to life in general because. Any kind of failure or any kind of? Failed situation. Is always a learning experience. Always. And it is easy to look at failure as kind of like an end all be all like, oh **** I failed. Now I'm done. It's never going to workout for me. No. Failure is just a sign that you need to. Change your perspective. Go outside of the box, try something new and. Keep trying. Like look at a ******* scientist, right? Look at scientists and like physicists and stuff like that. How many times do they have to fail when they're doing a science experiment before they find? Really useful information and they find something that's like life changing. It takes years. Trial and error, over and over and over again until. You succeed. That's just how life works. Life is just a lot of trial and error until something sticks. And it's the same thing with relationships, so don't be hard on yourself because. You will get there, you will find someone and you're also 18 like. When I was 18, I had been in one relationship that had maybe lasted four months, OK? And it was also awful. So, like, keep that in mind, you know what I'm saying? And I can say that I've come a long way since then. You know, like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Things get better. Somebody said how can you tell if you have a crush on somebody or if you're just getting mail validation? Wow, this is so crazy because. I totally get this, and I'm kind of embarrassed that I do. But also, it's so incredibly human. And I think it's so important to talk about so. Let's kind of stretch out this question a little bit and broaden it a little bit. To something that everybody can relate to, like. It's crazy how? In certain periods of your life, I would say generally during moments of weakness or vulnerability we can. Crave attention. For whatever reason, we can crave validation for whatever reason. And I think that that. Can get mistaken with. Having feelings for someone because. If you're feeling let's say, OK, I'll give an example. Let's say you just got out of a breakup and you are feeling like ****. You're like I wasn't enough for my last significant other, even though that's not true. But you can feel like that at times. I'm lonely, I'm sad. I just want attention. I'll take anything I can get right. And then, you know, you get attention from somebody and even though you might not really like them. You might convince yourself that you do, just to fill that void. And can I tell you? That is so normal and there's nothing. Wrong with making that mistake like it's so normal. But I think that the question that you need to ask yourself when? You find yourself caught up in a situation with someone. Where? You're having to ask yourself, do I really like this person or are they just giving me attention and I need that? To be honest, I would argue that if you're asking yourself that question. The answer is probably that you just want the attention and validation, because I I've done this. I have done this. Umm. Well, basically what happened to me was that I, you know. Got out of a relationship and I was so broken and my ego was just shot. Like I was just like so sad and I felt so ****** about myself. And. Embarrassed in myself, esteem was ****. And I got a little bit of of attention. From a guy and I just went. I went and head first. I was like, **** it, I don't care. Like. This kind of feels wrong, and I don't feel like I actually really, really, truly genuinely. I'm in love with this person, but I'm just gonna do it. Anyway, because. I need this attention and I need this for myself, esteem, and as much as I did actually genuinely care about the person, it's not like I was like fully being an ******* and just being like, can I have attention and then like shutting them off. Like it wasn't like that. I I did actually like the person, OK, but I think that I. I like them. Maybe 50%, but then the other 50% was the attention that I was getting. I. I think that. That was the overarch. That was the the bigger factor, you know. And and I know that now in retrospect, but in the moment I didn't know. I didn't realize that I was like kind of filling a void and. You know, whatever. And then when the relationship ended and I wasn't really too upset. That's when I realized, like, oh **** like. You know, this wasn't really coming from the heart. I I was filling a void and I know that that might sound so ****** ** and I I don't think that like. That's very nice, right? But it also wasn't my fault, like because I didn't realize what I was doing. But throughout that relationship, I did ask myself that question many times. Like, am I doing this because I like them, or am I doing this because I'm filling a void? The truth was, I was completely filling a void. And I was just looking for the validation and. You know, in other relationships that I've been in where I haven't been looking. For validation within them and I just was looking for a genuine like best friend. Companion in a sense. I never found myself asking the question. Am I just dating them because I like the attention ever? In relationships. That have not been rooted in that I've not even. It's not even crossed my mind. So I would say that if you're having to ask the question, the answer is probably. You just like the validation. Somebody said I just got a girlfriend for the first time. I'm also a girl and as incredible as she is, I feel like I won't be able to make her happy because I don't feel ready to come out and be open about our relationship. Since I'm not ready, what should I do? Well, I think for one, it's so important that you are in touch with yourself and what you're comfortable with as of right now. And what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do, I think that that's incredibly. Self aware and mature and great and so that's an amazing first step. And I think that you need to stick to that, you know, if you feel like you're not ready. That is OK and like. Don't be angry at yourself that you're not there yet, but when it comes to handling the situation with your girlfriend, it's simply just a conversation that needs to be had. You can tell her, listen, I am so. Lucky to be dating you. I'm so proud to be dating you, but at the same time. You know, right now I just don't think that. I'm comfortable sharing our relationship with the world. Here's why. I don't love you any less, and I don't want you to think I'm embarrassed. This is just simply. What I'm comfortable with right now and. You know, how do you feel about this? Like are you OK with? Us keeping this a little bit. More private for now or, you know, is that not something you're OK with and just have an open conversation? I think that 90% of problems in relationships can be fixed simply by a conversation and just getting on the same page. It's so much more useful than I think we realize. I think a lot of us think that we. Need to solve relationship related problems on our own, but the truth of the matter is, is that. A relationship has two people in it, and so both people. Need to work through problems together. It's as simple as that. OK, so if I were to host a live radio show and I could play any music I wanted. I would honestly probably have the time of my Life OK, but I'll admit I would probably end up playing. Just sad music. I don't know what it is about me, but I love sad music, OK? And so I'd probably end up playing. A lot of sad music. Specifically for the people who are listening in the car by themselves. That want to shed a tear in a good way? Well now there is a place that I or you or anyone can host a live show. Amp is the platform that allows people to come together and create live, unfiltered radio shows with whatever music or content that they love. And this is like a real show where you can have people listening live and you can pick exactly which songs to play, and you can even have fans calling in to chat while you're on air. If I had a live show, I would definitely. Have people call in and ask me for dating advice honestly, so I think I'd have to do dating advice. You know what this actually sounds like the perfect radio show. Sad music combined with dating advice, because all of the shows on AMP are run by real people. You can tell that the playlists are authentic. 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The show follows Sophia, a breakthrough photographer who shot her first spread for nylon at just 13 and has been shooting major campaigns ever since. Fernando Modeling's next international star, Tawfiq, the youngest fashion designer to show at New York Fashion Week, Claude, a New York native and aspiring actress. Ben arising, entertainer from Texas and a newbie to New York City, and Ebon, a trans rights activist and fixture of New York underground nightlife. This is now or never. With big goals and even bigger ceilings to break through, they'll need to bust their ***** to chase their dreams. It's time to hustle free forms the come up new episodes Wednesdays on Hulu. Somebody said, have you ever been in a relationship where you liked, slash loved them so much but you just couldn't see yourself marrying that person? Yeah, 1000% I think that. A lot of. Being in a relationship is about well. OK, let me rephrase. I think that subconsciously when we're dating people, right? We're always thinking about the future, you know, we're always thinking about what it could turn into long term. And I know for me I always date with ideally the intention of being with someone for a really long time and. Obviously that doesn't always workout, and obviously, you know, I might even be fooling myself at times. And. Convincing myself that I would want to be with somebody for a long time when deep down I'm like, I actually don't think that that's true. I just want to be in a relationship right now, even though I know that this isn't going to last, but I just want to be in a relationship. I've done both, you know? Umm. But I would say that, you know. At the end of the day. You kind of have to live in the moment. And I know it's so easy to try to plan ahead, and I think we all do it. Whether we want to admit it or not. But at the end of the day, if the relationship is happy and fun in this exact moment. Just enjoy it for what it is right now and. Take it day by day. You know what I'm saying? Because. We just have no idea what tomorrow is going to look like and so. Getting anxious or nervous because we can't imagine ourselves marrying the person that we're with today. Is just a waste of energy. And on the other hand, you know, you might imagine yourself marrying somebody who ends up being terrible for you. I've done that. Where you're like, this is. I literally know it. I'm gonna marry that and then you don't, OK? It. Trust me. It that's why, you know, getting too obsessed about planning in the future is so bad. Because. Chances are like. It's not going to end up the way that you thought it was, and that can be an incredible thing because let me tell you. If I would have married like. The guys that I dated when I was younger, I would not be a very happy woman right now, OK? And they would probably be ******* unhappy, too. It would not have been good. You know what I'm saying? It's better that things have ended up the way that they did. Like, it's, you know, like. As heartbreaking as things might have been like at the end of the day. Everything happens for a reason and. You end up where you end up for a reason, and so you just kind of have to sit back a little bit and trust the universe and. Don't put too much pressure on whether or not you can imagine someone in your life forever, or don't stress yourself out because you can't imagine your life without them. And that scares you? Try to be as present as possible because. Your. Vision of the future. Is just. Probably not even close to what it's really gonna be, and chances are it might even be better. Somebody said, do you think that astrological signs matter in a relationship? I personally do not. I think that. You know. I don't know too much about astrological signs. But in general I think that. You know your compatibility with somebody else. Has so many more factors. Then. What your astrological sign is, I just think that there are so many things that make two people compatible that like. I would say that you know your horoscope is pretty. Down low on the list of the criteria. For dating, you know what I'm saying? Because. At the end of the day, everybody's so different and as much as, you know people. Might look at the personality traits of different astrological signs in. Think that they're accurate? And sometimes they are. I think that generally there are just too many larger factors. That go into making two people compatible and so I would say. I don't think that they matter, but I also think that if you're somebody who's really interested in astrology. Then it might make more sense for you to pay closer attention to that, but for somebody who you know maybe doesn't know as much about it, or. Maybe he doesn't even believe in it. I don't think that it's really that deep. I think it it's just it's very much personal preference and. I do think that there are just so many different factors that. Determine whether or not two people are compatible that I just. I think that that should be the least of your worries. Somebody said I feel like I'm never going to find the person that's right and meant for me, but I don't want to be with the ones that don't meet my standards. What am I to do? I think that the best thing that you can do is just keep an open mind and be patient because. It is a blessing. To have standards and to stick by them. And. It's going to save you a lot of pain down the line. I can say that for sure, being somebody who hasn't always necessarily. Abided by my own standards. I can. Confidently say that. As much as I don't have any regrets, I definitely could have gone without some of those experiences in my past where I didn't. Abide by my own standards, and I think that. It requires a lot more patience. To abide by your standards, but I think that it's worth the wait and there are so many ******* people on this planet, I can guarantee. The right opportunity will present itself when it's ready to, and you just have to trust. Somebody said my boyfriend is going through a lot recently and I'm trying to be supportive, but it's getting to be too much. He's been so bad at communication. Our whole relationship which is over a year. And I've talked to him about it and he won't change. I love him, but I don't know what to do. This is so tough because I think a lot of times people don't want to bring their problems into. The relationship, right. If they're struggling with something personally, they don't want to bring it up. They don't want to share it because they don't want to burden their significant other. But the truth of the matter is, is that when you're holding, when you're in a relationship and you as an individual are holding inside. All of this pain and. Stress and. Frustration about. Things not relating to the relationship. And you don't share that information with your significant other. It inevitably starts seeping through, right? And your significant other will start to feel this shift in you like, oh, there's something off, like what's going on. And without context or explanation or communication, resentment will grow within the person who. Is doing fine because they're like, are you mad at me? Are you frustrated with me? Did I do something? Why are you taking this out on me? I have no context. I have no way to understand. And empathize with you, because I don't know what's going on. And then **** hits the fan. Unfortunately, when you're in a relationship, well, it's not unfortunate, but. In a relationship. You kind of owe it to your significant other in a way to keep them in the loop, and that can be really hard when. You have a fear of burdening others. I know I have this fear. I hate the idea of burdening someone with my problems. I don't want to do that. So I'd rather just put on a smile and just keep going. You know, except for when it comes to talking to my parents, I will burden them all day and all night with my problems. But everybody else, not as much. And I'll try to cover up when I'm struggling. And. When someone loves you and knows you really well, they'll figure out that something's off pretty quickly. And. The best way? To. Keep a relationship healthy while one member is struggling and the other is not is to have an open communication about what the struggling member member? I don't know. I guess that works Tavern in open communication about what the struggling member of the relationship is going through because it gives. Context and understanding. So that. The one struggling can get proper support. From their significant other that is maybe in a better place. You know what I'm saying now you who asked the question is. The one who is not struggling and your boyfriend is struggling. Have a conversation with him that goes a little something like this. I know that you're going through a hard time. And I really want to be there for you, but. I need to understand. What you're going through in order to help? And in order to have a better understanding so that I'm not taking your behavior personally, if you lash out or are mean, or say something rude or say something that's out of character or whatever it may be like. If you explain to me what's going on. And you keep me in the loop. I'll have a better understanding. As to why you're behaving the way that you are? And I'll also be able to support you. Much better if I have a good understanding, I feel. So disconnected from you because. I don't know what you're dealing with, but I'm feeling the essence of it and it's uncomfortable for me and it's uncomfortable for me to be around, so. As much as you feel comfortable sharing with me, I would. I just, I need it in order to be there for you because it's impossible to be there for you and I don't understand what's going on and in a relationship that's kind of crucial. Feel free to write that down on note cards and. Read it to your boyfriend. Clothes are one of the many ways that we express ourselves and we're constantly switching up our wardrobes. To reflect our interests and styles. But one thing that is a little bit more difficult to switch up is our glasses. Until now, because now with pair eyewear. You can have a different frame every day, OK? With pair eyewear, you start with a chic pair of glasses, right? That look great just by themselves, but they have a special secret. Which is that they have at little. Magnet inside so you can snap on. A cool frame on top of your existing glasses. I got the crystal clear Reese base frame which is just a really chic pair of all clear glasses. The frame is clear obviously the lenses are clear and I got a tortoise frame and a Plaid frame so I can now it. Basically I have 3 pairs of reading glasses now. There are so many options, iconic base shapes and then all sort of frames to go on top retro classic neon sparkle. You'll definitely find your vibe I also love. Buying from a brand that really, really cares and pair provides glasses to a child in need for every pair that you buy. Get glasses as ever, changing as you are with pear. Go to pair for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PAIR Somebody said. For the past ten months now, I haven't felt like I've had a romantic interest, even if someone is interested in me. And I really try. I can't think of myself with anyone ever again. Is it normal? How can I get out of this situation? That's just your brain telling you, hey, I'm not ready for a relationship right now. Slow down. Slow the **** down. If you don't have any romantic interest, that's AOK. That just means that. It's not the right time. Don't fight that feeling if your gut and your intuition is telling you that right now is not the time for a relationship and you can't imagine yourself with anybody right now. Obey your own wishes and just. Do your thing. I can guarantee that that feeling will come back naturally. You don't need to force it. Somebody said hi, Emma, so like, I'm scared of marriage. Like when you're dating with your significant other, you're young and in love, but once the relationship is permanent with each other, I'm scared that things get awkward and we won't have things to talk about, etcetera. Now I'm not married, but. You know. I can imagine that when you decide to marry someone, this person is ideally your best friend. But also. Here's your significant other you know and think about. Hanging out with your best friend. Do you ever have moments where you don't have anything to talk about? Sure, but it's not weird because you're so close and comfortable with one another that moments of silence are natural and not weird and. There aren't really any more awkward moments because you just grow past that at a certain point. I think that ideally in a marriage, that's what the relationship looks like, you know? Your significant other is your best friend, but also. You are. Close with them to a point where all of the butterflies and nervousness kind of go away. And you. Become family almost. I think that that's kind of the goal. And I mean, you know, it might not happen every single marriage, right? But ideally, you know, that's kind of what happens. I think that if you shoot for that. In your marriage. In the future. Then you won't have anything to worry about. Somebody said. Do you think that? Jobs in relationships are important. So I guess this means like. Your job and your significant others job. I think that. It depends. But I think that. When it comes to, you know. You and your significant others financial situation, it's all about understanding, you know what I'm saying? And about acceptance. When you're dating somebody, you should love and accept them for exactly who they are. And if you can't do that, then you should date someone else. Simple as that. And so if somebody makes less money than you, or they make more money than you, that should not change your opinion on them. You know what I'm saying? I think that someone specific job doesn't matter as much as their work ethic. You know, like somebody's job is not a direct reflection of what kind of person they are. You know? There are so many. Factors that go into, you know, getting a job and keeping a job. And sometimes there are rough moments when people don't have a job, and sometimes there are moments when people have an amazing job, but it only lasts for a few months. It's like it's such a ever changing part of a human being's life that I would say judging somebody strictly based off of their job is not. Good. I think that you should you know more. Look at someone's work ethic and. Their goals long term instead, and I think when it comes to you and your significant other. Having. Different financial situations, you know, there's so many ways to work around that. I think that you just have to be. Patient and you have to want to figure out how to create balance and it takes a little bit of effort and work. Umm. But I think that if you love somebody enough, that will almost be effortless. Like, it'll almost feel effortless, you know? Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for listening. I really loved hanging out with you guys today and talking about relationships. That was very fun. I appreciate you so much for listening and I hope that you enjoyed it and you can leave a review on Apple Podcast if you want. Follow the podcast Twitter at AG podcast if you want and you can participate in episodes in the future and. I just hope that you guys have an amazing rest of your day. I'll see you around. Bye.